MAN (VOICE-OVER): YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY AT WORK? I THINK I GOT YOU BEAT. (GRUNTS, YELLS) THAT'S NOT ME. NOPE, THAT'S MY PARTNER. (GIGGLING) (GRUNTS) (LONG, SLOW GRUNT) SUCK IT. (VOICE-OVER): THERE I AM. THREE OR FOUR DAYS AGO, I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WORLD EXISTED. -(GROANING WITH EFFORT) -BUT THREE OR FOUR DAYS AGO... OKAY. ...I WASN'T IN THE REST IN PEACE DEPARTMENT. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. ABLE 2015 (SHOVEL DIGGING) (GOLD CLINKING) (MAN YELLS, WOMAN GIGGLES) (BOTH LAUGHING) I HEARD YOU COMING A MILE AWAY. LOOK AT THIS-- FRENCH GIRL GETS THE DROP ON BOSTON'S FINEST. -YOU GOT THE DROP ON ME, HUH? -MM-HMM. BUT I FEEL LIKE A GENIUS RIGHT NOW. I COULDN'T HAVE PLANNED THIS BETTER. WELL, GENIUS, THERE IS AN ORANGE TREE IN THE BACKYARD. -HOW'D THAT GET THERE? -(WOMAN CHUCKLES) OH, YEAH, THERE IS AN ORANGE TREE IN THE BACKYARD. HOW WEIRD. HMM. I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT HERE. ME, NEITHER. YOU KNOW IT'S A SYMBOL OF PROSPERITY, DON'T YOU? -NO, I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT. -IT IS, YEAH. -ASK ANYONE IN FLORIDA. -NO, YOU'RE CRAZY. THIS TREE IS NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE WINTER. WE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE WINTER IN THIS FREEZING LITTLE HOUSE. (LAUGHS) I LOVE OUR FREEZING LITTLE HOUSE. YOU DO, DO YOU? -MM-HMM. -YEAH? BUT DON'T YOU WANT MORE? YOU'RE ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT MONEY. DON'T YOU WANT A REAL HOUSE, A CAR? I DON'T WORRY ABOUT MONEY; YOU DO. I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT HERE. MY HUSBAND, WITH ME. WELL, YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE THAT. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I GOT TO GO TO WORK. I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU CAN GO TO WORK. -OH, REALLY? -MM-HMM. (PLAYFUL SLAP) HEY. WATCH THAT ANKLE. LOVE YOU, BABY. BYE. LOVE YOU. MAN: GOT MY PICTURE IN A TROPHY CASE, I SEE. DETECTIVE: LOOK AT THAT. ALREADY IMMORTALIZED. RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME. WHAT CAN I SAY? -HEY, BOBBY. -HEY. MURPH. JESUS, GET A ROBE OR SOMETHING. YOU'RE ASKING TOO MUCH OF THAT TOWEL. MORNING, PARTNER. MORNING. HEY, GUYS. LOVE TO HAVE YOU AT THE UNION MEETING MONDAY. -OH! NO, NO. -SWEET JESUS, MURPHY. -COME ON. -I WILL SHOOT THAT THING. -MAN: GOOD FOR YOU, MURPH. -THAT'S PRETTY DEVASTATING. IT'S GOING TO BE A WHILE BEFORE I GET THAT IMAGE OUT. -MAN: GOAL! -HEY. WHAT'D YOU DO WITH YOURS? -(WHISPERING): I BURIED IT. -REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING ABOUT THAT. BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT THE WORST IDEA. IT'S GOLD; YOU BURY IT. RIGHT? LISTEN, BOBBY... I'M OUT. (CHUCKLES) YOU'RE OUT? LOOK. NOTHING HAS TO CHANGE FOR YOU. YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT I'M PUTTING MINE IN EVIDENCE. IT'S DONE. NICKY, I SAID I WOULD MOVE IT FOR US. I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BOBBY. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT ME THIS MORNING. (EXHALES) I KNEW. LOOK, WE WENT IN THERE TO MAKE A DRUG BUST, WHICH WE DID. WE DIDN'T EXPECT THIS GOLD TO FALL INTO OUR LAPS. WE WEREN'T LOOKING FOR IT, BUT IT HAPPENED. THE WAY I SEE IT, YOU DO IT FOR JULIA. FOR YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER. IT'S SIMPLE. NO, SHE'S HAPPY. I'M NOT GOING TO RISK THAT. I'M SORRY, BUDDY. (SIGHS) YOU'RE RIGHT. I HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT. WE GOT TO TURN THE WHOLE THING IN. THERE GOES THE SPEEDBOAT. LOOK... YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY. I'M NOT WAGGING MY FINGER AT YOU. YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO. NO, IT'S BOTHERING ME, TOO. SO LET'S GROW OLD AND POOR TOGETHER. MAN: LISTEN UP. WE GOT GARZA. -WE GOT AN ADDRESS. -WAIT. YOU GOT GARZA? -YOU GOT ACTUAL EYES ON HIM? -AN INFORMANT GAVE UP HIS WHOLE METH OPERATION. HE'S THERE. WE GOT HIM. NICK: OKAY, WE'RE IN BUSINESS, PARTNER. GET ANOTHER PICTURE IN THE TROPHY CASE. NICK: YOU KNOW HOW LONG WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR GARZA TO SLIP UP. THIS GUY'S A METH DEALER, A COP KILLER. HE'S GOT 30 GUYS WITH HIM. HE'S NOT GOING TO GO EASY. NOW, STAND BY FOR INSPIRING, MOTIVATING WORDS FROM DETECTIVE BOBBY HAYES. HOW ABOUT WE DON'T GET SHOT TODAY? THAT'S GREAT ADVICE. YOU'RE... YOU'RE A GOOD COP. DETECTIVE HAYES ADVISES WE SHOULD AVOID GETTING SHOT. AND ALSO, EVERYBODY SHOULD PUT THEIR CHARM BRACELETS ON NOW. HEY. THAT'S MY GRANDMOTHER'S ST. CHRISTOPHER MEDAL, JACKASS. IT'S ADORABLE. I WEAR IT FOR PROTECTION. IT'S FOR PROTECTION? WELL, THIS STOPS BULLETS. YOURS STOPS YOU FROM GETTING DATES. (LAUGHS) (SEAGULLS SQUAWKING) (TYRES SQUEAL) MAN: LET'S GO! MOVE IT! LET'S MOVE IT! LET'S GO! MOVE IT! OKAY, ON MY LEAD. LET'S PUT THEM ON THEIR HEELS. HEY... BE SAFE, WILL YOU? KNOCK, KNOCK. MAN: POLICIA! POLICIA! -POLICE OFFICER! -(GUNSHOT) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) (CLATTERING IN DISTANCE) MAN: TAKE THE STUFF OUT OF HERE! MAN 2: BAG THE STUFF! BAG THE STUFF! (RAPID GUNFIRE) (MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) I SEE GARZA. (MEN SHOUTING) HE'S ON THE CATWALK! (RAPID GUNFIRE) DAMN IT. GARZA'S OUT THE SOUTH WINDOW. -JESUS! -WHOA, THAT WAS CLOSE. -WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? -YOU ALMOST GOT ME. BUT... I CAN'T LET YOU TURN THAT GOLD IN. (CHUCKLING): WHAT? JULIA (VOICE-OVER): MY HUSBAND, WITH ME. . . . . . . . . . . . . (NICK GRUNTS, POP MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY) TOUGH DAY. IT'S NORMAL TO BE A LITTLE TONGUE-TIED AT FIRST. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M HERE TO HELP YOU. I'VE SAT IN THAT CHAIR. SO TAKE YOUR TIME. EASE INTO IT. EASE INTO WHAT? COME ON, GENIUS. I KNOW YOU CAN GET THERE. (CHUCKLES) THIS IS A JOKE. HILARIOUS. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) I'M DEAD? LET'S BE HONEST, BEING A DIRTY COP IS ONE OF THE HIGHER SHOT-IN- THE-FACE-PERCENTAGE JOBS. THAT'S NOT WHO I AM. REALLY, PRETTY BOY? HOW DID IT FEEL AS YOU WERE HEADED TOWARDS JUDGMENT? COMFORTABLE? FEEL LIKE YOU WERE BOUND FOR GLORY OR WERE YOU A LITTLE WORRIED THAT YOU WERE GOING DOWN? I THOUGHT SO. YOU'RE LUCKY, NICK. YOU HAVE SKILLS THAT WE WANT, SO WE'RE GIVING YOU A CHOICE. YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CHANCES WITH JUDGMENT, OR... YOU CAN JOIN THE R.I.P.D. THE R.I.P.D? REST IN PEACE DEPARTMENT. I GET IT. IT'S CUTE. SIMPLY PUT... WE FIND DEAD PEOPLE THAT HAVE MANAGED TO ESCAPE JUDGMENT. WE SHIP THEM OFF BACK DOWN TO WHERE THEY BELONG. THE TOUR IS 100 YEARS. IF YOU SAY YES, WE'LL SEND YOU BACK DOWN TO BOSTON, -YOUR HOME TURF. -I'LL DO IT. THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK. WHAT'S NOT GONNA WORK? I SAID I'M IN. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. YOU GOT ROOKED, YOU WANT YOUR OLD LIFE BACK, YOU WANT JULIA. NO. YOU ASKED ME TO HELP YOU, AND I'M HERE TO HELP. YOU REALLY DON'T THINK I CAN READ YOU? I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT YOU. DON'T SQUANDER THIS OPPORTUNITY, NICK. I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU CAN USE A GOOD RECOMMENDATION ON JUDGMENT DAY, OKAY? I THINK YOU'RE SMELLING WHAT I'M SELLING. ANY MORE QUESTIONS? (MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY) WHAT'S WITH THE STEELY DAN? NO IDEA. IT'S ALWAYS PLAYING. SEEMS TO RELAX PEOPLE. -LET'S DO THIS. -YES, LET'S. THIS WILL TICKLE A BIT. (SIZZLING, SCREAMS) WHAT THE...? (GASPS) (ECHOING): CLENCH 'EM AND GET OVER HERE. (WHISTLING) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) SETTLE DOWN! THIS IS HOLDING. WE CALL THEM "DEADOS." (DEADO SNARLING) PROCTOR: UNTIL THEY POP, THEY LOOK LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE, SO NO ONE EXCEPT US KNOWS THEY'RE MONSTERS INSIDE. YOU SEE, IF YOU SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS AND STAY ON EARTH AFTER YOU DIE, YOUR SOUL ROTS. IF THEY ROT, THE WORLD ROTS. GLOBAL WARMING, BLACK PLAGUE, BAD CELL RECEPTION, GET IT? WITHOUT THE R.I.P.D., THE WORLD WOULD HAVE BEEN OVERRUN BY THESE DEAD PEOPLE SOME TIME IN 1954. HOW IS STAYING AN OPTION? 150,000 PEOPLE DIE EVERY DAY. THIS SYSTEM WASN'T DESIGNED TO HANDLE THAT KIND OF VOLUME. WELCOME TO THE BIG LEAGUE. R.I.P.D. BOSTON. (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) BEFORE YOU ARE THE GREATEST LAW OFFICERS WHO EVER LIVED AND DIED. WE'RE THE THIRD BIGGEST PRECINCT IN THE FORCE. WHAT'S THE FIRST? BOCA. R.I.P.D. SCOTTSDALE DOES A LOT OF VOLUME, TOO. TRUST ME, CHEST HAIR IS MAKING A BIG COMEBACK. I'M TELLING YOU, CHICKS DIG IT. IT'S A LOT TO TAKE IN ON YOUR FIRST DAY DEAD. BUT DON'T WORRY, YOUR PARTNER WILL EXPLAIN IT ALL TO YOU. (GRUNTING): NO. AAH. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. NO! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! I SAID, GET YOUR HANDS OFF... ME! OFFICER: THOUGHT WE HAD HIM! (GRUNTING) (SCREAMS, GRUNTING CONTINUES) (SCREAMS, GUNSHOT) -OFFICER: COME ON, ROY. -OH, YOU COME ON. JUST 'CAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WILLING TO LETHAL-UP. OH, JESUS. NO, YOU JESUS! -PROCTOR: ROY! -WHAT? HE WAS GOING FOR THE DOOR. I'LL PLANT A GUN ON HIM IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE THIS UP WITH ETERNAL AFFAIRS? WE BOTH KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT, DON'T WE, HONEY POT? NOT THE TIME, ROY. WHY NOT HAVE IT OUT NOW? I'M COMFORTABLE. ROY, MEET YOUR NEW PARTNER, NICK WALKER. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS BEFORE. I'M A ONE-MAN OPERATION. NOT A CHOICE, ROY. NO. YOU GOT TO EARN THAT. COME ON, ROOKIE. GRAB YOUR HUEVOS. WOMAN (OVER P.A.): PLEASE FOLLOW ALL POSTED REGULATIONS. DEPARTMENT HYGIENE REGULATIONS ARE FOR YOUR BENEFIT. TUCK ON IN. DON'T BE SHY. GOING FOR A RIDE. (WATER RUNNING) YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HIDING THIS PLACE A LITTLE BETTER? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT A VCR REPAIRED? -(DOOR BELL JINGLES) -POINT TAKEN. THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE BACK. DON'T WET YOUR PANTS OVER IT. COME ON. DON'T WANT TO BE LATE. PROCTOR LIKES TO START YOU OFF WITH SOME CLOSURE. -(ENGINE STARTS) -GET IN! ROY: DISAPPOINTING TURNOUT, HUH? EXPECTED MORE. WE GOT A LOT TO TALK ABOUT, BUT FOR NOW, I'M JUST GONNA STEP BACK, LET YOU SOAK IT IN FOR A MINUTE. (SIGHS) THIS MOMENT IS NOT ABOUT ME. THIS IS ABOUT YOU LETTING GO. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SOAK IT IN. -I'LL WAIT FOR YOU. -ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT MY FUNERAL WAS? WATCHING A BUNCH OF COYOTES PICK MY CARCASS CLEAN AND DRAG MY BONES OFF INTO A CAVE. A FREAKIN' CAVE, HOSS. HERE IT COMES. BE CAREFUL, NOW! -HEY! -WATCH OUT! -HEY! -HEY! WATCH IT. JULIA? JULIA? I'M HERE. I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT I'M HERE. I'M SORRY, I DON'T KNOW YOU. CAN WE JUST TALK? -PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME. -GO SOMEWHERE? -(OFFICERS TALKING) -JULIA? HEY, JULIA! -GET OFF ME. -OFFICER: HEY, COME ON. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? HUH? YOU PIECE OF SH... JUST RELAX. -(NICK GRUNTING) -OFFICER: COME ON... COME ON... BACK ON THE MEDS, BUDDY. OFFICER: GET HIM OUT OF HERE. COME ON, GET OUT OF HERE. COME ON, BACK UP. NICK: LET ME GO. -OKAY, ALL RIGHT. -COME ON, LET ME GO. THAT WENT WELL. I TRIED TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU. WHAT JUST HAPPENED? HOW COULD SHE NOT KNOW IT WAS ME? TO THEM, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU, YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE YOU. IF YOU TRY TO TELL THEM WHO YOU ARE, IT COMES OUT ALL GARBLED UP. THE UNIVERSE, IN ITS ULTIMATE WISDOM, WILL NOT LET YOU REVEAL YOURSELF. IT'S SMARTER THAN US. THAT'S SICK. CONSIDER IT THE UNIVERSE'S WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM. SO, WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? HERE. THESE ARE YOUR I.D.'S. SOME FEDERAL. A LOT OF UTILITIES. WHATEVER GETS US ACCESS. REALLY? AN OLD CHINESE GUY? WHAT ABOUT YOU? WELL, I GUESS YOU WIN, ROY. # PICK IT UP. DO YOU WANT TO RUMBLE IN MY JUNGLE? # I'LL TAKE YOU ON. # STAMPEDE YOU OVER AND SEND YOU HOME. # DO YOU WANT TO RUMBLE IN SPACE, I'LL PUT LASER ON STUN. # AND ON THE NORTH POLE, I'LL ICE YOU, SON. # COLLECT YOU UP. # COLLECT YOU UP. # (ENGINE STARTS) (ENGINE REVS, TYRES SCREECH) LET ME BRING YOU UP TO SPEED WITH WHAT'S ON MY PLATE. WHEN YOU RIDE WITH ME, YOU RIDE WITH THE BEST. (GARBAGE CAN CRASHES) THE PACE IS LIGHTNING, EXPECTATIONS HIGH. THINGS ARE GONNA COME AT YOU FAST, THEY'RE GONNA COME HOT, AND THEY'RE GONNA COME WET. -WET? -(TYRES SCREECHING) -HEY! -(PEOPLE CLAMOURING) MAN: LEARN TO DRIVE, BIMBO! YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE? DRIVING? EH, YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR FEET WET WITH A STANDARD PICKUP. FIND THE SUSPECT AND THEN TEST HIM. SEE IF HE'S A DEADO. AND THEN... LOOK AT THE ANKLES ON THAT GIRL. (CHUCKLES) THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE INTO, ANKLES? THAT'S WHAT DOES IT FOR YOU? ROY: IN MY DAY, WOMEN, THEY DRESSED VERY CONSERVATIVELY. MM. THAT MAKES YOU WAY LESS CREEPY. WHEN EXACTLY WAS YOUR DAY? 1800S, BUDDY. I'M WHAT WE USED TO CALL A "LAWMAN." MARSHAL ROICEPHUS PULSIPHER. "ROICEPHUS"? IT WAS CONSIDERED A VERY SEXY NAME AT THE TIME. SOUNDS LIKE AN STD. WOULD YOU CARE TO DRIVE? I DIDN'T GET A PEEK AT YOUR WIFE'S ANKLES. NOT ONE MORE WORD ABOUT HER. (CHUCKLES) LISTEN, ROOK... YOU BETTER WORK ON GETTING A LITTLE DISTANCE, BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE OVER. YOU JUST WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF, PARTNER. WHOA. YOU AIN'T MY PARTNER, ROOK. YOU'RE JUST THE ASS IN THE OTHER SEAT TILL I SAY CONTRARY. I HAD A PARTNER. GREATEST MAN I EVER KNEW. RIGHT UP TILL HE SHOT ME IN THE BACK. THAT'S WHAT "PARTNER" WILL GET YOU. TELL ME ABOUT IT. HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT HERE? WELL, YOU GOT SHOT WITH A MODERN BULLET. WOULD'VE HAVE LOVED A MODERN BULLET. SANITARY, AT LEAST. THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT FELT AS IT PASSED THROUGH MY FACE. SANITARY. THE TERM "PARTNER" DIED WHEN I DID. YOU GOT IT, ROICEPHUS. -ROICEPHUS. -ROICEPHUS. -JUST CALL ME ROY. -I WAS GONNA DO THAT. OR CEPHUS. NOW, LISTEN UP. THIS IS TACTICAL, ROOK. TACTICAL? A BAG OF INDIAN FOOD? ROY: YEAH. GOT A TIP ON A POSSIBLE DEADO IN THIS BUILDING. NOW, LISTEN AND LEARN. DEADOS PUT OFF A BAD DEAD MOJO. INFECT EVERYTHING WITH THEIR SOUL STANK. INFECT EVERYTHING FOR THE WORSE. PEOPLE AND THINGS. (ELECTRICITY BUZZES, CRACKLES) THERE YOU GO. BROKEN SHIT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY. (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) HUH. SOUL KILLERS. HIT A DEADO IN THE HEAD WITH ONE OF THESE ` AND IT'S GOT TO BE THE HEAD ` PERSONALLY, I FIND THE FACE MOST GRATIFYING-- HE'S ERASED FROM THE COSMOS. WON'T HURT LIVE ONES, WILL HURT US. SO YOU BE EXTRA CAREFUL WHERE YOU POINT THAT THING. PRETTY SOLID ON GUN SAFETY. I SAW THAT ANKLE PIECE YOU'RE STRAPPING. LIVE-WORLD GUN DON'T DO DIDDLY-SQUAT HERE. YOU CAN KEEP YOUR EYES OFF MY ANKLES, THANK YOU. But it's hard to let it go. All right, so, this is Tim. 34-year-old male. RTC. Multi-vehicle... VOICES OVERLAP I think about the car crash a lot. I know he caused it and I reacted the best way possible. But it's hard to let it go. SOMBRE MUSIC When I asked what had happened to him, the doctors said he really wore the impact ` any more and things would've been much worse. They said he was lucky ` lucky I wasn't going any faster. Thank you. SOMBRE MUSIC CONTINUES It's OK. MUSIC CONTINUES (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) WATCH ME SNIFF THIS OUT. (PEOPLE CHATTERING IN DISTANCE) EVEN MORE PROMISING. (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) IT'S ALWAYS THE QUIET ONE. YOU READY? YOU PUMPED? I NEED YOU ALL HERE. GET YOUR SNOWMAN ON, GET FROSTY. ALERT. ICY-HOT. IS THIS YOU TRYING TO SOUND LIKE A COP? 'CAUSE IT THROWS UP A LOT OF RED FLAGS FOR ME. GOT TO LEARN THE LINGO, HOMBRITO. I'M FROSTY. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. SENIOR OFFICER GETS TO KNOCK, ROOK. I'VE GOT 15 YEARS ON THE FORCE. KNOCK OFF THE "ROOKIE" BULLSHIT. OH, YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE? YOU KNOW WHAT'S WAITING FOR YOU BEHIND THE DOOR? YOU CAN TAKE YOUR 15 YEARS, YOU CAN FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET, BECAUSE THIS AIN'T THAT. I KNOCK, YOU DO THE CARDS. (KNOCKING) (LOCK CLICKS) STANLEY NAWICKI. WE'RE WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH. IS THERE A PROBLEM? WELL, MR. NAWICKI, WE SUSPECT THAT YOU MIGHT BE DEAD. IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY? NO OFFENSE, BUT YOU SOUND KIND OF CRAZY. NONE TAKEN. JUST A ROUTINE TEST, AND WE'LL BE OUT OF YOUR HAIR. I AM NOT DEAD. (CHUCKLES) I MEAN, THAT'S LAUGHAB` CHECK MY PULSE, GO AHEAD. ROOK, FIRST QUESTION. "IT'S LATE ON ASH WEDNESDAY. "AN ASIAN TEENAGER "IN A SLAMMED-OUT ACURA "OFFERS YOU A PLATE OF CHICKEN VINDALOO. "DO YOU ACCEPT?" HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT? YOU TELL ME. OKAY, THE ANSWER IS NO. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? IS IT THE TEENAGER? THE ASH? IS IT THE JAPANESE PERFORMANCE SEDAN? -(GROANS) -MAYBE IT'S THE INDIAN FOOD. -WHAT? -MAYBE YOU HATE INJUNS. NO, THAT'S... (CHUCKLES) CARD. "THE TEENAGER IS ARMENIAN. "THE DAY IS ROSH HASHANAH. THE DISH IS SAAG PANEER." I DON'T... (BURPS) I DON'T WANT IT. WHY NOT? TOO SPICY? TOO MUSHY? (STOMACH GURGLES) YOU... (BURPS) YOU CAN'T EAT DURING AN INTERVIEW. THAT... I-I DON'T WANT... ANYONE... YOU DON'T WHAT?! CARD! "THE CAR IS A LIME-GREEN SCION. THE SEASON IS THE SOLSTICE. THE DISH IS CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA." -NO. -(STOMACH GURGLES) -ROY: YES. -NO. -YES, IT IS! THE DISH IS CHICKEN TIKKA! THE DISH IS CHICKEN TIKKA! (ROARS) (SHRIEKS, GASPS) OH, YEAH, THAT'S A DEADO. BIG OLD MOUTH COMING IN. (GROANING) FELLER WAS A SNITCH IN LIFE. SEE, NICK? LIKE THAT. METAPHORICAL. (GROANING) FOR SOME REASON, INDIAN FOOD SEEMS TO DO THE TRICK. MAYBE IT'S THE CUMIN. YOU CAN BAG THIS ONE. -MY TREAT. -NO. I'M NOT, I'M NOT GOING NEAR THAT. WHERE'S THAT 15 YEARS NOW, FROSTY? GOT TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE VISUALS AND THE SMELL PROFILE. -ALL RIGHT. -GO ON! SPREAD 'EM. COME ON, LET'S GO. HURRY UP, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. (GRUNTS) YEAH, ONCE THEY POP, THEY KNOW IT'S OVER. -RIGHT, PAL? -HERE WE GO, PUT ALL... ALL YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK. (CHUCKLES) STUPID SPACE CUFFS. (ROARS) HEY! NO! (GRUNTS) YOU WANT IT? (GRUNTS) YOU GOT IT! (LAUGHS) NICK! GRAB HIM! GET THE REST OF HIM! CONTAIN! HOLY SHIT. (BURP ECHOING) (SHUDDERS) GIDDYUP, PONY! WHOA! OH! OH! OH! (ROY WHOOPING) RELAX YOUR BODY! WHAT?! RELAX BODY! (NICK SCREAMING) (ROY WHOOPING) (LAUGHS) (GUN COCKS) GIVE ME A REASON. DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A GOOD ONE. ACTUALLY, DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO MAKE SENSE. FUN, RIGHT? (GRUNTING) YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED WE'RE PRETTY DURABLE. IT STILL HURTS. THAT'S WHY ROOK'S THE BOTTOM. BOTTOM. (LAUGHS) BOTTOM! (CONTINUES LAUGHING) OKAY. I GUESS THAT'S EMOTIONALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. (GROANS, FARTS) (WHEEZING) YOU'RE REALLY GONNA RUMMAGE THROUGH THAT? (YELLING) (GUNSHOT) BRIEF AFTER-ACTION REPORT. NOW, YOU WERE BELOW AVERAGE IN THE ROOM, BUT YOU DID RESPOND WELL TO MY STEERING DURING THE AIRBORNE PORTION. YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS PROVIDED ME A VERY SOFT LANDING. YOU HAVE A VERY IMPRESSIVE CRUMPLE ZONE. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF LETTING YOURSELF GET ATTACHED DIRECTLY TO THE BEASTIE... STOP TALKING. ...YOU WERE SOLID. -C-PLUS. -STOP TALKING. -JUST DOING MY JOB. -STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP TALKING! -YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S TALKING. -YOU RAN YOUR MOUTH AT MY FUNERAL. -GOT A LITTLE GOB RIGHT THERE. -YOU RAN YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU PUSHED ME OUT OF A BUILDING AND USED MY BODY AS A CUSHION. YOU'VE RUN YOUR MOUTH NONSTOP SINCE THE MINUTE WE MET! -THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. -NO, NO, NO, NO! SHUT UP! YOU SHUT UP AND LET ME DEAL. ALL RIGHT, YOU DEAL. YEAH, DEAL WITH THE UPCHUCK. COME TO THINK OF IT, WITH ALL THIS TANTRUMERY, I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THAT I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE TOO GENEROUS WITH THE "PLUS" ON THAT C. I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO LOWER YOUR GRADE. RELAX BODY. (TYRES SCREECHING) MY HAT! (GRUNTING) MY HAT! MY HAT! NEW GRADE: F! THE BUS, I CAN FORGIVE. MY HAT? CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THAT NOW. OFFICER: LET'S GO, GO, GO! TIME IS A FACTOR. LET'S GO. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? A FIRE DRILL? I NEVER SEEN IT THIS BUSY. SEEMS LIKE EVERY DEADO MOVED TO BOSTON LAST WEEK. WHAT DID I SAY? GET BACK OUT THERE. NO BREAKS FOR ANYONE TILL THIS SURGE IS UNDER CONTROL. IF I DIDN'T NEED YOU BACK ON THE STREETS... WHAT? YOU'D HAVE MY ASS? DON'T BE A CLICHE. YOU LET HIM GET OUT THE WINDOW. AREN'T YOU BETTER THAN THAT? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PUT ME WITH TRAINING WHEELS HERE. BUT GO ON, MAKE A SHOW. BE THE BOSS. YOU STILL HAVE A HARD TIME WITH THE "BOSS" PART, DON'T YOU? YOU PLAYED THE GAME, GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. I DON'T PLAY THE GAME. AND MY ASS IS MINE AND MINE ALONE! EAGERLY NOTED! -COME ON. -IT'S FLAT, ANYWAY. ROY, NAWICKI WAS TRYING AWFULLY HARD TO PROTECT THIS GOLD. DON'T YOU THINK WE SHOULD TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS? TRUST ME, IT'S NOTHING. 99% OF THESE THINGS ARE JUST FUND-RAISING ITEMS FOR VARIOUS RELIGIONS. JUST CRAP. WHAT ABOUT THE ONE PERCENT? THAT'S WHY WE LOCK THEM UP IN HERE. BAG IT, TAG IT AND BURY IT DEEP. IS THAT ALL OF IT? NICK: THAT'S IT. FEMALE OFFICER: SIGN HERE, PLEASE. (MACHINE WHIRRING, CLANKING) (CLANKING STOPS, MACHINE POWERS DOWN) -ROY, LISTEN. -WHAT? -NAWICKI CARED AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT THAT GOLD. -YEAH. HE WAS TRYING TO HIDE IT FROM US. WHY? OH, SO NOW YOU'RE ALL GUNG-HO, HUH? I'M-I'M THINKING WE SHOULD FOLLOW UP. LET ME GUESS. GENIUS HAS A PLAN. GENIUS WANTS TO GET OUT ON THE STREET AND WORK THIS. I THINK THAT YOU CAN HELP ME WITH THAT-- YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE EVERY GREAT COP THAT I'VE EVER KNOWN HAS THEIR OWN INFORMANT. BIG ROY... I MEAN, BIG ROY, HE'S GOT TO HAVE ONE. YOU WANT AN INFORMANT? BIG ROY'S GOT THE BEST INFORMANT. ANNOUNCER (OVER P.A.): NOW BATTING FOR THE RED SOX, NUMBER 34, DAVID ORTIZ. ROY (VOICE-OVER): ELLIOT. HE'S A PAIN-IN-THE-ASS DEADO. ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS THE SOX. SO I LET HIM STICK AROUND IN EXCHANGE FOR INFORMATION. HERE. YOU'RE IN MOURNING. YOU GOT A HOLE TO FILL. YOU KNOW, I CAN'T TASTE ANYTHING. OF COURSE NOT, YOU'RE DEAD. R.I.P.D. DON'T EAT, WE DON'T SLEEP. YOU'RE HERE TO KICK DEADO ASS, THAT'S ABOUT IT. THEN WHY WOULD YOU EAT THIS? I ENJOY THE MOUTH FEEL. ROY AS A WOMAN: HOW'S IT GOING, ELLIOT? WE'RE UP. BUT THEY'RE HITTING LIKE CRAP. WE'LL BLOW IT. KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. HELLO, ELLIOT. ONE OF YOUR BUDDIES WAS WILLING TO GET ERASED FOR THIS. WHY? (WHISTLES) ROOK. THAT BELONGS IN EVIDENCE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOME KIND OF REBEL, ROY. I FOUGHT FOR THE NORTH. WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY IF I GOT BACK TO MY INVESTIGATION? GO CONTINUE YOUR INVESTIGATION. TELL ME WHAT THIS IS, ELLIOT. THAT LOOKS LIKE A BIG HUNK OF GOLD. UH-HUH, THAT'S NOT GONNA CUT IT. TRY AGAIN. (GRUNTING) ELLIOT: HEY! HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF NOW, ELLIOT. BECAUSE OF ME, YOU'RE SITTING THERE ALL COSY AND NOT LYING IN A PINE BOX. NOT WALKING THE DESERT, TRYING TO GET YOUR FEMUR BACK FROM A COYOTE. YOU COPS ARE ALL THE SAME. ALWAYS OBSESSING ABOUT HOW YOU BIT IT. HOW WAS YOUR FUNERAL, NEWBIE? DID YOU CRY WHEN THEY GAVE YOUR WIFE THAT NICE FOLDED-UP FLAG? (CHUCKLES) -HEY. -THAT'S FUN, RIGHT? I THINK WE BOTH KNOW THERE'S NO RED SOX ON THE OTHER SIDE, SO WHY DON'T YOU COOPERATE? I APOLOGIZE FOR MY POOR ATTITUDE. MAY I TAKE A CLOSER LOOK, SIR? YOU MAY. (SIGHS) LOOK, I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT, BUT THIS IS CRAP. LOOK, DEADOS ARE SENTIMENTAL, YOU KNOW? A LOT OF THEM BELIEVE IN THIS TALISMANIC JUNK. IF IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE, THERE'D BE SOME CHATTER OUT THERE. I WOULD KNOW. ALL RIGHT, WE'RE DONE HERE. THESE HATS ARE CRAP. KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN FOR ME. YES, SIR. (ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE" FANFARE) YOU GAVE HIM THE GOLD? YOU SEE HIM SQUIRM? WE GOT HIM. "GOT HIM"? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WE GOT HIM"? WHAT'D WE GET? TELL YOU WHAT HE GOT, HE GOT THE GOLD! WHICH YOU GAVE HIM! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? I'M PISSED ABOUT MY HAT. HUH. WELL, THEN. LOOKY, LOOKY. I'M GONNA TREAT YOU TO A LITTLE MODERN LAW ENFORCEMENT. THIS IS CALLED "GIVING THE DOG A BONE." BONES? (ENGINE REVS) WHAT'S HE DOING? OKAY, THAT'S WEIRD, 'CAUSE THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOUR EX-PARTNER. THE ONE WHO SHOT YOU DEAD. OKAY, I'M INTERESTED. COLOUR ME INTERESTED. (ENGINE STARTS) THIS MUST BE CHAFING YOU, HUH? (CAR ALARM BLARING) FIRST, THE GUY SMOKED YOU LIKE A KNOCKWURST, AND NOW HE'S GOT GUYS JUST HANDING HIM GOLD. LET ME THINK, JUST LET ME THINK. WHAT'S THERE TO THINK ABOUT? THE MAN'S JUST SCHOOLING YOU LEFT AND RIGHT. YOUR OWN PARTNER. (TYRES SCREECHING) (TYRES SCREECHING) AND THE TRIFECTA. SLEEPING WITH YOUR WIFE. 'CAUSE THIS IS YOUR HOUSE, ISN'T IT? TOTAL HUMILIATION. IT'S JUST A PANTS-DOWN SPANKING IN THE SUPERMARKET. HE'S NOT SLEEPING WITH JULIA. WANT TO BET? YEAH, LET'S. WINNER SHOOTS THE LOSER IN THE FACE AS MANY TIMES AS HE WANTS. I'M NOT 100% CONFIDENT WITH MY READ. (LAUGHS) SOME CANNOLIS FROM MIKE'S. (BOTH LAUGH QUIETLY) I WAS THINKING HOW NICK USED TO MAKE US STOP AND GET THEM FOR YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, BOBBY. HEY, JULIA, DID NICK SEEM ALL RIGHT TO YOU? I MEAN, WAS HE... CONCERNED ABOUT ANYTHING? NO. OKAY. OKAY. WHY? (SIGHS) I'M SORRY I GOT TO DO THIS NOW. NICK SAID HE BURIED SOMETHING. ROY: IF HE'S NOT SLEEPING WITH HER, IT'S KIND OF FUNNY HE'S HERE, ISN'T IT? UNLESS YOU GUYS HAVE A PACT WHERE HE SCRUBS THE PORN OFF YOUR LAPTOP FOR YOU. I GET THAT. CLASSY, ACTUALLY. HE GAVE THIS TO ME. HE KNEW I WANTED IT. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, THAT HE JUST DID THIS TO HIDE SOMETHING UNDER IT? HAYES: I DON'T KNOW. BUT I'VE GOT TO TAKE A LOOK. I WAS HOPING I WAS WRONG. (HAYES SIGHS) REALLY, JUST... HE STOLE THIS? JULIA: OH, GOD, I FEEL SICK. YOU CROOKED SON OF A BITCH. WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS? -PUT THE GUN DOWN. -SHUT UP. JULIA: JUST GET IT AWAY FROM ME. I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT. DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING. HAYES: HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO HE WAS. GET OFF OF ME, OR I'LL BREAK YOUR LEGS. EXPLANATION NOW. WE... WE TOOK SOMETHING FROM A BUNCH OF SHIT RATS WHO WOULD HAVE TURNED IT INTO GUNS OR DRUGS OR WHO-KNOWS-WHAT. IT WAS A VICTIMLESS CRIME. END OF STORY. WHY WOULD THE DEADOS WANT IT? YOU THINK HAYES AND I KNEW ABOUT THIS DEADO SHIT? IT WAS JUST MONEY TO ME. I WAS TRYING TO MAKE OUR LIFE BETTER. WELL, YOU DID A GOOD JOB OF THAT, DIDN'T YOU? WHY DON'T YOU GO TRY THE CHINAMAN THING AGAIN? EXPLAIN IT TO HER. THAT WENT WELL. TRY IT AGAIN IF IT MAKES YOU... -(DOOR OPENS) -GOLD'S GETTING AWAY. COME ON, TIGHTEN UP. MY WIFE SEES ME AS A PIECE OF SHIT. ACTUALLY, SHE SEES YOU AS AN OLD CHINESE GUY. AND BY THE WAY, GRANDPA CHEN'S A PRETTY SOLID LOOK. HELPS WITH STAKEOUTS. THE ONLY THING THAT I EVER CARED ABOUT IS WHAT SHE THOUGHT OF ME. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. THE ONLY THING. WHAT SHE THINKS, THAT'S WHO I AM. AND I BLEW THAT. DESTROYED IT. BOO-HOO. EXCUSE ME? YOU HEARD ME: BOO-DE-HOO. YOU MIGHT BE THE WORST PERSON I'VE EVER MET. SADLY, YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL HER HOW YOU DID IT ALL FOR HER. AND WHERE EXACTLY DO YOU THINK YOUR TRAGEDY RANKS ON THE SCALES OF COSMIC INJUSTICE? PAKISTAN EARTHQUAKE LEVEL? (CHUCKLES) -KILLING FIELDS LEVEL? -FOR ME, IT WAS PRETTY BIG. YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS CUT DOWN IN HIS PRIME? YOU DON'T THINK I FELT UNRESOLVED AS MY FACE WAS BEING DEVOURED BY A BUZZARD? OH, CHRIST. YOU ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN TO SIT ON YOUR REGRET AND PAIN UNTIL IT TURNS INTO A DULL, PERSISTENT ACHE ` THE WAY I DO IT. THE WAY A MAN DOES IT. I DO MUSIC VIDEOS. HOME PHONE NUMBER'S ON THE BACK. EXCUSE ME? I'M NOT A PIECE OF MEAT PUT ON THIS EARTH FOR YOUR GRATIFICATION. I'M A WOMAN. RESPECT ME, OR I WILL CASTRATE YOU LIKE A THREE-YEAR-OLD STEER. (BARKING) LOOK SHARP. WE GOT SOMETHING. (WHIRRING, ELECTRICAL BUZZING) (DOG CONTINUES BARKING) OH, YEAH, THAT'S A DEADO. NICK: THAT HAS GOT TO BE HAYES'S FENCE. (NECK CRACKS) -WE STAY ON THE GOLD. -I GOT THIS. HOLD UP. DADDY'S ON POINT. -NO, THANKS. I'VE SEEN YOU IN ACTION. -YOU QUESTIONING MY METHODS? YOU DON'T HAVE A METHOD. EXCUSE ME, SIR. A QUICK WORD? NICK: FREEZER. ROY: ALLOW ME. (CLANG) MY BAD. (SNIFFS, GROANS) MAN: LET ME GUESS. R.I.P.D., HUH? (LAUGHING) GREAT LOOKS, MAN. YOU, WITH YOUR PANDA EXPRESS OVER THERE. EASY WITH THE RACIAL. (LAUGHS) AND YOU, WITH YOUR... WATCH IT. ...MAGNIFICENT BREASTS. HEY, SIDEBURNS, TELL US ABOUT THE GOLD. (NECK CRACKING) LOOK, WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE. (COUGHING) LET'S HELP EACH OTHER OUT. YOU DON'T WANT TO GET POPPED, -AND I DON'T WANT TO POP YOU. -(COUGHING): OH, YOU DON'T? NO. SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO GIVE US THAT CASE, YOU'RE GOING TO START TALKING, AND THEN YOU GET TO KEEP ROAMING AROUND WITH YOUR BITCHIN' GINGER SIDEBURNS. (SUPPRESSED COUGH) (EXHALES) YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SICK OF HIDING. (SNORTING) (WHOOPS, GRUNTS) (LIKE ELVIS PRESLEY): THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. (GRUNTING) THAT'S BETTER. OH! (LAUGHING) HELL, YEAH. LET'S DO THIS! (GRUNTING) ROY: CONTAIN! ROY: CONTAIN! (CHUCKLING) DIDN'T CONTAIN. (CHUCKLING) (LONG, SLOW GRUNT) SUCK IT. -(YELLS) -STRAIGHT BUTT! COME ON! (GROANS) IT'S RODEO TIME. PAPPY'S GOT SOME ROPING TO DO. (GRUNTS) (ROY YELLS, GROANS) ROY: HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HELP? (GROANING) (ROY AS A WOMAN SCREAMING) (TYRES SQUEALING) (GROANING WITH EFFORT) (GRUNTING): OKAY. -ARE YOU OKAY? -SOMEBODY CALL 911! I'M OKAY. NOTHING TO SEE. GOT TO GO! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) (YELLS) (WOMAN SCREAMING) -(GUN BLASTING) -(GRUNTS) THE HEAD! AIM FOR THE HEAD! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) STILL HERE, YOU SON OF A BITCH! (GRUNTS) (YELLING) (ROY GRUNTING) OW! MY ASS! -MAN: WHAT IS THAT? -(PEOPLE GASPING) (GRUNTING) (TYRES SQUEAL, CARS CRASHING) (HORNS HONKING) (GRUNTS) WHOO-HOO! COMING THROUGH! (PEOPLE SCREAMING) EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. WOMAN: YEE-HAW! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) (BELL DINGS) (ROARS) HERE I COME. (LAUGHING) RELAX, BODY. (GRUNTS) (YELLS) (CACKLING) (BIRDS SINGING) -(ROY WHOOPING) -(NICK SCREAMING) (WIND WHISTLING) (GRUNTS) (DISTANT SIRENS WAILING) ROY: ROOK! OVER HERE! IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE. (SIRENS GROW LOUDER) (TYRES SCREECHING) (HORN HONKING) -(LAUGHING) -(TYRES SCREECH, HORN HONKS) -(WOMAN GASPS) -THANK YOU VERY MUCH. (LAUGHTER ECHOING IN DISTANCE) I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE LIKE THAT BEFORE. NEVER! NEVER BEFORE HAS THIS HAPPENED! -ALL RIGHT. -CONGRATULATIONS, GUYS, -ON YOUR UNPRECEDENTED COCK-UP. -ALL RIGHT. YOU LET AN EXPOSED DEADO LOOSE ON THE STREETS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CONTAIN. -THAT IS YOUR MOST BASIC JOB, AND YOU FAILED SPECTACULARLY TO CONTAIN. -THERE WAS NO CONTAINING THAT THING. HE'S RIGHT, SWEETIE PIE. IT WAS DIFFERENT. -WE HAVE EVIDENCE. THERE'S MORE TO THIS THAN A BUNCH OF... -YOU DON'T INVESTIGATE. YOU DON'T GET CREATIVE. YOU DO AS YOU'RE TOLD. WHEN YOU DON'T, THIS HAPPENS. IT WAS TERRIFYING. WHATEVER RAMPAGED THROUGH THE STREETS OF BOSTON TODAY WAS NOT HUMAN. NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE. YOU GET TO DEAL WITH THEM. WHO IN THIS ENDLESS STREAM OF FREAKS IS "THEM"? ETERNAL AFFAIRS. HAMMER'S DROPPING. (CLANKING, RUMBLING) (LID CLANKS ON FLOOR) WELL? THEY'RE PISSED-- JUSTIFIABLY. HOWEVER, APPARENTLY, YOU STUMBLED UPON SOMETHING IMPORTANT. (CHUCKLES) DON'T ACT SO SURPRISED, HONEY POT. THE GOLD THAT OFFICERS PULSIPHER AND WALKER BROUGHT IN ARE PART OF AN INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS ARTIFACT KNOWN AS THE STAFF OF JERICHO. OH, CRAP. MAYBE FEATHER IT IN FOR THE NEW GUY... A LITTLE BIT? REMEMBER THE TUNNEL WE PULLED YOU OUT OF WHEN YOU DIED? THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO THE AFTERLIFE. IT'S A ONE-WAY STREET. THIS ARTIFACT, IF BUILT, REVERSES THE TUNNEL. THE DEAD RAIN DOWN ON THE EARTH. THAT'S IT FOR THE LIVING WORLD. YEAH, MASSIVE DESTRUCTION. WE BROKE IT TO PIECES 3,000 YEARS AGO. NOW IT'S BACK. TILL WE GET THE REST OF THE GOLD, WE'RE ON RED ALERT. ALSO, APPARENTLY, YOU NEED "THE BLOOD OF THINE ENEMY." THERE ARE MORE DIAGRAMS. WHY... WHY... WHY WOULD SOMEONE MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT? COME ON! HERE I AM, WILLING THE STREETS INTO ORDER, MAKING HEADWAY, YEAR AFTER DOMINANT YEAR, AND NOW EVERYTHING I'VE DONE IS BEING THREATENED BECAUSE OF SOME ANCIENT TOTEM, FORGED FOR KICKS, BY SOME ASSHOLE 5,000 YEARS AGO? -WHY EVEN TRY? -(WHIRRING) I MEAN, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IT? LOOK AT YOU. SO PROUD OF YOURSELF. "I GOT AN IMPORTANT TUBE." (ROY SCOFFS) WHAT? WELL, WHAT IS IT? (CLEARS THROAT) ACTUALLY... (CHUCKLES) IT LOOKS LIKE YOU TWO DON'T NEED TO CONCERN YOURSELVES WITH THE RED ALERT. IT BRINGS ME NO PLEASURE TO INFORM YOU THAT, BECAUSE OF YOUR RECENT EPIC FAILURE, YOU'VE BOTH BEEN SUSPENDED, YOU'RE OFF THE CASE. -WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. -WHAT?! HOLD ON A SEC. WE... WE ARE THE CASE. WE'RE THE ONES WHO BROUGHT IT IN. WELL, THE FEELING IS THAT LUCK WAS INVOLVED. THERE WILL BE A FORMAL HEARING TOMORROW, AFTER WHICH YOU'LL MOST LIKELY BE ERASED. "ERASED"? ROY: SO, IN THIS MOMENT OF CRISIS, THEY'RE GOING TO SUSPEND, AND THEN ERASE THEIR BEST OFFICER? AND THIS OTHER GUY? BETTER OFFICERS ARE TAKING OVER. NO SUCH THING. NAME ONE. JACOBSON. DUBOW. -WATERSON. -COME ON. -CARSON. JACKSON. -HE'S PRETTY GOOD. THAT GUY WHO WORKS AT THE TACO CART. -SHALL I GO ON? -OKAY, OKAY! TOMORROW IS MY LAST DAY? MOST LIKELY. I'M SORRY. WELL, SHIT. MISS PROCTOR, IT'S BEEN A DELIGHT. ROY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR MENTORSHIP. I'M SURE IT MEANT A LOT TO YOU. I GOT SOMEWHERE MORE IMPORTANT TO BE. WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? HUH? STAY AWAY FROM ME. I HAVEN'T LEFT YOU. IT'S ME. NO. ROY: SO... CONGRATULATIONS. YOU FINALLY DID IT. YOU GET WHAT YOU WANTED? I MIGHT GET ERASED TOMORROW. WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO DO? YOU'RE FREAKING HER OUT, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED. I'M NOT FROM A TIME OF SENSITIVITIES AND EMOTIONALISM. AND YES, IN MY DAY, I BOUGHT MY LOVE BY THE HOUR. BUT I DO KNOW THAT WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS NOT HELPING. IT'S CALLED HAUNTING, HOSS. YOU'RE CAUSING HER PAIN. WHY DO YOU THINK WE'RE HERE? WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO? IT'S SO THAT JULIA CAN HAVE A WORLD TO LIVE IN. AND YEAH, THAT MEANS WITHOUT YOU. SHE NEEDS TO SURVIVE YOU. MEET SOMEONE NEW, MAYBE HAVE A FAMILY. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT COMING BACK. EVER. THE JOB IS ALL YOU HAVE NOW. WELL, WE DON'T HAVE THE JOB ANYMORE. ROY: NICK. RESOLVE YOUR CRAP. DO LIKE ME. -LIKE YOU? -YES, EMULATE MY PEACE. YOUR ZEN-LIKE CALM? HEY, IT'S TAKEN ME A VERY LONG TIME TO ACHIEVE THIS STATE. YOU COULD GET THERE, TOO, BUT FOR YOUR WEAKNESS. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE HAD IT. I CAN'T LISTEN TO ONE MORE SELF-RIGHTEOUS CHESTNUT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN YOUR WEIRD PAST WITH YOU. -SPEAKING OF WHICH, THOSE COYOTES... -YOU BE CAREFUL. THOSE COYOTES WHO ATE YOUR BONES AND CRAPPED OUT YOUR FACE? IN THAT STORY, THE COYOTES ARE THE HEROES. HEY! YOU MAY THINK THE OLD WEST WAS ALL SHITS AND GIGGLES AND SARSAPARILLA AND TWO-CENT WHORES. IT WASN'T! IT WAS SMELLY, IT WAS VIOLENT. IT WAS RIDDEN WITH DYSENTERY AND NO-ACCOUNT INJUNS. I'VE HAD A LOT OF ANGER TO GET PAST, OKAY? AND YOU... YOU, NICK, ARE BRINGING A LOT OF SHIT OUT THAT I'VE BEEN SUPPRESSING FOR A VERY LONG TIME! (VOICE BREAKING): ONE OF THEM COYOTES... HE MADE LOVE TO MY SKULL. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT PRACTICE IS COMMONLY CALLED? I DO. AND I CERTAINLY HOPE HE GOT BOTH EYES, ROY. (ACCORDION PLAYING GENTLE MELODY) ROY (VOICE-OVER): # WORDS, LIKE DAGGERS # STAB OUR HEART, BOYS # GOT TO BE THE BETTER MAN SONG'S CALLED "BETTER MAN." YEAH, I GOT THAT. # PEOPLE, THEY CAN BREAK # YOUR HEART, BOYS # LIKE NO COYOTE EVER CAN. MAYBE I TOOK THINGS A LITTLE TOO FAR. (STOPS PLAYING) "MAYBE"? I'M SORRY. YOU OUGHT TO TAKE UP AN INSTRUMENT, NICK. IT MIGHT BE A... TUNEFUL WAY FOR YOU TO SPEND WHAT MAY BE YOUR LAST MOMENTS. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE JOB, ROY. WE GOT TO GET BACK OUT THERE. "SUS-PEN-DATO." THEY WANT ME BACK, THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO BEG. I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THIS LYING DOWN. YOU? YOU GONNA SIT THERE AND MOPE? OR DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME STOP A, YOU KNOW, AN APOCALYPSE? YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, HELL, YOU KIND OF PAINT ME INTO A CORNER. I KNOW HAYES IS SITTING ON SOME OF THAT GOLD. THERE'S NO WAY HE'S JUST A BAGMAN. LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. DID HE LIKE INDIAN FOOD? HE WAS NOT A FAN. BUT SOMETHING'S BUGGING ME. I RODE WITH THIS GUY FOR FIVE YEARS, I NEVER NOTICED ANY KIND OF... "SOUL STANK." I HEARD TALK OF A RARE KIND OF ARTIFACT THAT COULD MASK IT. LIKE A SPIRITUAL DEODORANT. BE SOMETHING HE CARRIED WITH HIM ALL THE TIME. LIKE GRANDMA'S ST. CHRISTOPHER MEDAL. THAT'D DO HER. LET'S GO POP THE SON OF A BITCH. . YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO? OH, YEAH. BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME FOR THIS. YOU'VE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS DEADOS HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PULL THIS OFF? 3,000. AND NOT ONE OF THOSE JAG-OFFS COULD GET ALL THAT GOLD TOGETHER, UNTIL ME. (CHUCKLES) R.I.P.D. IS NOT GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT 'EM. NOW, GO FIND YOURSELF SOME TROUBLE. MY PLEASURE. (PHONE LINE RINGING) HAYES (OVER PHONE): HEY, JULIA. HEY. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. SOMETHING REALLY STRANGE HAPPENED TO ME. WHAT'S GOING ON? I WAS AT THE TRACK LAST NIGHT, AND DO YOU REMEMBER THAT GUY AT THE FUNERAL? THE LITTLE CHINESE GUY? THE ONE WHO WAS YELLING? SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN. TAKE A DEEP BREATH. I DON'T KNOW, SOMEHOW, I FEEL LIKE IT'S NICK WHO'S TRYING TO TALK TO ME. OKAY. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY. IT'S... HAYES: I KNOW YOU MISS HIM. I-I MISS HIM, TOO. I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE ALONE RIGHT NOW. I'M GONNA COME PICK YOU UP, AND I'M GONNA TAKE YOU TO LUNCH, AND WE COULD TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING. ALL RIGHT? O... OKAY. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU FOR THIS. ABSOLUTELY. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. TAKE THE FRONT, I'LL GO AROUND BACK. WORKS FOR ME. (MAN WOLF-WHISTLES) BOBBY HAYES? YEAH? I NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS INVOLVING A TANDOORI CLAY OVEN. SWEETHEART, YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING YOU WANT. MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. HOW ABOUT A LITTLE DRINKY-POO? SURE. I'LL WET MY BEAK. COMING RIGHT UP. YOU LOOKING FOR THIS? NICE MOVE... NICK. (CHUCKLES) HEY. TOUGH LOOK TO PULL OFF. I'M GETTING USED TO IT. (CHUCKLES) YOU KNOW, IT WAS JUST BUSINESS. MAKE A MOVE, PLEASE. ROY: EASY, NICK. "IT'S LATE ON ASH WEDNESDAY." WE CAN SKIP THAT PART, ROY. TAKE OFF THE ST. CHRISTOPHER'S MEDAL. NOW. OKAY. (RUMBLING, CRACKING, POPPING, SHATTERING) (STEAM HISSING) POWERFUL STANK. WHERE'S THE GOLD, DEAD MAN? CHECK THE WATER HEATER. FREAKING SUPER COP HERE. ALL RIGHT, SADDLE UP. (GRUNTS) WE'RE GOING TO RIDE YOU IN. I KNOW IT'S WRONG, BUT THE WHOLE COWBOY-TALK THING-- IT'S KIND OF WORKING FOR ME. (SIGHS WEARILY) (SIRENS WAILING) WHAT DO YOU GOT TO SMILE ABOUT? (FIRE ENGINE HORN BLASTING) (ENGINE REVS, TYRES SCREECH) (SIREN WAILING) HEY, HOW DO YOU LIKE WORKING WITH THIS GUY? HE HANGS ON A LITTLE TIGHT TO STUFF, HUH? WHAT WE GOT TOGETHER IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. WHERE'S THE REST OF THE GOLD, HAYES? SEE WHAT I MEAN? HE WON'T LET IT DIE. HEY, NICK, REMEMBER WHEN I GOT SHOT, I GOT THAT MEDAL, AND YOU COULDN'T BELIEVE I PULLED THROUGH? WILD GUESS-- YOU DIDN'T PULL THROUGH? OH, GET KILLED BY SOME JUNKIE AND GO TO HELL 'CAUSE I TOOK A LITTLE ON THE SIDE TO PAY FOR LAP DANCES? NO, I DON'T THINK SO. WHO GETS TO MAKE THAT CALL? I DON'T ACCEPT IT. HEY, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. WHAT DO YOU THINK ETERNAL PUNISHMENT'S GONNA BE LIKE, HAYES? HELL CAN KISS MY ASS. I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE. LAP DANCING. THAT'S A NICE LOOK YOU GOT. THAT'S NICE, WITH THE FACE AND THE HAIR. ALL RIGHT, SIT DOWN. (GRUNTS) HEY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO BOOK THAT GOLD BEFORE YOUR PARTNER GETS HIS HANDS ON IT. WHAT'S THIS? THAT'S PERSONAL. THEN IT GETS BOOKED ALONG WITH THIS GOLD THAT I BROUGHT IN. THAT'S RIGHT, DOLL FACE, DESPITE MY CHICKENSHIT SUSPENSION. I'M AVAILABLE FOR, LIKE, A TUTORIAL-TYPE THING IF YOU OR THE GUYS WANT A FEW TIPS. MAYBE GET YOURSELVES UP NEAR MY LEVEL. WHY DID I HAVE TO LOVE YOU? WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT IN TIME. CATASTROPHIC MISTAKE. HMM, RUN IT DOWN, BUT YOU FELT WHAT YOU FELT. TAKE A SEAT. THIS IS GOOD, IT'S GONNA HELP ME GET OVER THE SHOT-IN-THE-FACE THING. WHATEVER IS WAITING FOR YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE IS GONNA BE BAD. DON'T WORRY, IT'S ONLY FOREVER. (GRUNTS) (GROWLS) ROY: STASH THIS GOLD WITH THE REST OF IT. AND HERE. HEY, WE JUST BOOKED SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS. YEAH, IT'S IN THE BASKET OVER THERE. YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO FILL OUT ANOTHER FORM. I'D LOVE TO. I'VE GOT NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO. THERE'S ONE DECENT THING ABOUT BEING A DEADO, RIGHT? MM-HMM. WE CAN'T HEAR CERTAIN FREQUENCIES SO WELL. DEADO: NOPE. (CHUCKLES) DEADO: MM-HMM. ROY! (SCREAMS) (PHONE RING SLOWS DOWN) OFFICER: WHAT THE...? (HIGH-PITCHED TONE) COME ON, NICKY, YOU THOUGHT I'D JUST LET YOU BRING ME HERE IF I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE ALL ALONG? ISN'T THIS THING SWEET? IT FREEZES YOU GUYS UP, DOES NOTHING TO US. -THEY GOT ONE OF THESE ARTIFACTS FOR EVERYTHING. -(GROANS) YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. GO, GO, GO, GO, COME ON. GET THE GOLD. -(GRUNTS) -TAKE EVERYTHING. (GRUNTING) IT'S ALL THERE? -UH-HUH. -(DEADO LAUGHS) -CATCH. -FILL UP ALL THESE HANDS, COME ON. LET'S GO, LET'S GO. (ALARM BLARING IN SLOW-MOTION) WHAT'S UP? PEACE. -FLUSH IT. -(LAUGHTER) NO! THE GOLD! (WOMEN SCREAMING) (MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) HERE, BOSS. I GOT IT ALL. I'M ON IT. DADDY'S GOT GOLD. LET'S BUILD IT, BOYS. (INDISTINCT CHATTER, GROWLING) (GRUNTING) (TOILET FLUSHES) (GRUNTS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER AND GRUNTING) (RUMBLING, WHOOSHING) (WOMEN SCREAMING) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) YEAH, WHOA, YEAH... (GRUNTING) DAMN IT, IT'S JAMMED UP. (PANTING) (GRUNTING) JUST LIKE MAIN STREET, DODGE CITY. THEM DUDES-- THEY PICKED THE WRONG VENUE TO MAKE A STAND. I INVENTED THIS SHIT. (BOTH GRUNTING) HOT! FIXED IT, YEAH! -YEAH! HOO! -(BREATHING DEEPLY) (KNUCKLES CRACKING) GO TIME! (YELLS) LET'S LEARN YOU A FEW THINGS ABOUT OLD WEST FIGHTING. FIRST... ONLY A NOVICE HIDES IN A CHURCH STEEPLE. IT'S THE FIRST PLACE I'M GOING TO LOOK. SECOND PLACE-- HOTEL WINDOW, EVERY TIME. OH. I GUESS THERE'S ONLY ONE NOVICE IN THEIR CREW. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) SOMETIMES THE WINDOW GUY IS ON THE ROOF. (WIND WHISTLING) I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT BEFORE. MUST BE THE MASSIVE DESTRUCTION PROCTOR WAS TALKING ABOUT. SADDLE UP. (ENGINE REVS, TYRES SCREECH) OFFICER: HEY, JULIA. HAYES SENT US TO GIVE YOU A LIFT. GUYS, I CAN STILL DRIVE. IT'S PRETTY HAIRY OUT THERE. HE'S JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU. CLOSE IT UP. ALL RIGHT, LOCK IT UP. NOBODY GETS THROUGH TO THE COMMONWEALTH BUILDING-- NOBODY. (GRUNTING) (TYRES SCREECHING) (HORNS HONKING) (SCREAMING) (CAR HORN HONKS) LOOKS LIKE THE BIG ONE'S RIGHT OVER THE COMMONWEALTH BUILDING. -THAT'S WHERE HE'LL BE HEADED. -YEAH. GOOD READ. YOU'RE AGREEING WITH ME? THAT'S, THAT'S WEIRD. YEAH, FEELS STRANGE. KIND OF TINGLY. DEADOS ON WHEELS. OH, THAT'S DISAPPOINTING. I WAS HOPING TO GET A LITTLE BREAK HERE. (CAR HORN HONKS) (GRUNTS) (TYRES SCREECHING) -(LAUGHS) -MAKE IT GO AWAY, NICK. (TYRES SCREECHING) I GOT IT. (TYRES SCREECHING) HOLY SHIT! (ROY SCREAMING) (BOTH SCREAMING) (TYRES SCREECHING) (CHUCKLES) THAT ACTUALLY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. HAYES: GET THE GOLD UP TOP. I GOTTA WAIT FOR THE FINAL PIECE. -HEY, YOU OKAY? -WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? LOTS GOING ON. -I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE WITH ME. -WE NEED TO GET INSIDE. LISTEN, THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD TELL YOU. IT'S` IT'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN HIDING. BOBBY, I THINK IT CAN WAIT... AND IT MIGHT SEEM A LITTLE WEIRD, BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND NOT JUDGE RIGHT AWAY, OKAY? (SPUTTERS) AH. (LAUGHS) (GASPS) OH. HUH? (SCREAMS) FEMALE REPORTER: SKYCAM 4 IS ON THE SCENE WITH CONTINUING COVERAGE. WE ARE LOOKING DOWN ON THE COMMONWEALTH BUILDING, WHICH IS SWARMING WITH-- THERE'S REALLY NO OTHER WAY TO SAY THIS-- MONSTERS. -I URGE EVERYONE TO STAY INSIDE UNTIL THIS SITUATION... -DAVE. -DAVE! -SHIT. WICKED. LOOKS LIKE THEY BUILT A BARRICADE. (GRUNTING) AND THERE'S FAT ELVIS. HIT HIM IN THE JIGGLY. (GRUNTING) (GRUNTS) (DEADOS EXCLAIMING) NOT BAD. GET HIM. -MY DOOR. -(GRUNTS) CAN'T SHAKE ME. STILL HERE, DICKS. OH. (GRUNTING) BOTH: RELAX BODY. (GRUNTS) (SPUTTERS) -(GUNS COCK) -EH... FU... HOPE THEY HAVE AN ELEVATOR. AH, SHIT. HAYES: REVERSE THE TUNNEL, THE DEAD COME POURING BACK. WE STAY HERE FOREVER. KIND OF A HIGH-FIVE MOMENT. ALL WE GOT TO DO IS FIRE UP THIS BAD BOY. (RUMBLING) YEAH! OKAY. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE. THERE'S NO GREAT WAY TO SAY THIS, SO... I'LL JUST SAY IT. THESE ANCIENT THINGS-- THEY OFTEN INVOLVE AN ELEMENT OF-- I DON'T WANT TO SAY "HUMAN SACRIFICE," BUT-- HUMAN SACRIFICE. I'LL JUMP BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN TOUCH ME. JULIA, COME ON, COME ON, BE COOL. THIS IS AN HONOUR` I'M TRUSTING YOU WITH THE HEAVY SHIT. (DEADOS AGREEING) JULIA! OH, JUST IN TIME. BOBBY, DON'T! (GRUNTS) NO! (SHOUTS) (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) (WHIRRING) MOVE! (GRUNTING) (GUN CLICKING) ROY: SHIT. NICE SHOT. I'M GONNA GO GET JULIA. YOU TAKE CARE OF THE STAFF. THAT GOLDEN PECKER IS COMING DOWN. YOU FROSTY? ICY-HOT, PARTNER. (DEADO SCREAMS) (DEADOS SNARLING) (WHOOPS) (GROANS) (GRUNTING) (EERIE VOICES ECHOING) (GUN CLICKING) WHAT NOW, NICK? (BOTH GRUNTING) YOU KNOW, IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE JULIA. BUT I JUST COULDN'T RESIST BRINGING IT FULL CIRCLE. COME ON, IT'S GOOD, RIGHT? (GRUNTING) OW. OH! HAYES: GET OVER HERE. (GRUNTING) HOW'S IT COMING, ROY? IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS! (GRUNTING) (YELLS) -(GRUNTS) -KILLING YOU NEVER GETS OLD, NICKY. ANY TIME NOW! I HEAR YOU! NICK: COME ON, ROY! DO SOME COWBOY STUFF! (GRUNTING) (EERIE SCREAMS AND WAILS ECHOING) PLEASE! ROY! (GRUNTING) THERE IT IS. (GRUNTING) NO. (SCREAMING, WAILING) WELL, PARTNER... I HAVE A NEW PARTNER. . (GASPS) . . I MISSED YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. I'M SORRY; I'M SO SORRY. IT'S OKAY-- YOU'RE BACK WITH ME NOW. THAT'S ALL I WANTED. BUT NOT LIKE THIS. JULIA... ...YOU GOT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE... WITHOUT ME. I DON'T WANT TO SAY GOOD-BYE. YOU CAN'T STAY HERE. IT'S OKAY. GO. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. GOOD-BYE. (GASPS) (MONITOR BEEPING) WOMAN (OVER P.A.): DR. WILLIAM TO NURSES' STATION 3. DR. WILLIAM TO NURSES' STATION 3, PLEASE. -SHE'S GONNA BE OKAY. -THANK YOU. YOU OWE ME FOR THAT. LET'S SETTLE UP. SURE. I WOULD LIKE TO BE ALLOWED TO DESIGN MY OWN MEDAL. NOT SO FAST. THE ETERNALS WENT AHEAD AND HAD YOUR DISCIPLINARY HEARING WITHOUT YOU. WHILE WE WERE SAVING THE WORLD? NICK, AS A NEW RECRUIT, YOU'VE BEEN LET OFF WITH A WARNING. REASONABLE. ROY, AS PUNISHMENT... PUNISHMENT? YES, 53 MORE YEARS HAVE BEEN ADDED TO YOUR TERM. -53 YEARS? -THAT'S, THAT'S A LOT. THIS IS HONKY-TONK BULLSHIT. YOU JUST LIKE HAVING ME AROUND, DON'T YOU, MILDRED? MY HAT. (CHUCKLES) YOU WENT OFF AND FOUND IT? I GUESS I COULD HAVE BOUGHT YOU FLOWERS ONCE OR TWICE. I LIKE VIOLETS. SHE BILLY GOAT-ED ME. SOMETHING WE USED TO DO. WHY SHE COVERS UP THEM ANKLES WITH THEM DAMN WHITE BOOTS-- NEVER UNDERSTAND. 53 MORE YEARS, HUH? WELL, I STILL GOT SOME THINGS TO WORK ON. HELL, THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I'VE BEEN EXTENDED. OH, SAY! GOT YOU SOMETHING. WHAT'S THIS? I KNEW YOU WEREN'T HAPPY WITH GRANDPA CHEN, SO I PULLED A FEW STRINGS, GOT YOU SOME NEW I.D. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, ROY-- I MEAN THAT. THIS IS GREAT. OH, YOU GOT TO BE SHITTING ME. I DID WHAT I COULD. INVENTORY IS WHAT IT IS. YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS AN IMPROVEMENT? (ROY CHUCKLES) (ENGINE REVS, TYRES SCREECH)