BEEPING TENSE MUSIC HELICOPTERS WHIRR TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES WHAT'S OUR, I SAY, WHAT'S OUR STATUS, BOY? OH, IT'S CECIL, THE TURTLE. THERE WASN'T ENOUGH ROOM ON THE NAME TAG FOR 'THE TURTLE', SO IT JUST SAYS 'CECIL', BUT I AM A TURTLE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THE LOCH NESS MONSTER. WHAT? YOU SHOULD CARE. ARE THEY IN POSITION OR NOT, SON? UH... UH... UH... NOW THEY ARE. THERE SHE IS. THE ELUSIVE FLORA OCCULTA. BLOOMS ONCE EVERY 200 YEARS AND TODAY'S, I SAY, TODAY'S OUR LUCKY DAY. COMMENCE OPERATION FLOWER GRAB. COMMENCE OPERATION FLOWER GRAB. TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES OPERATION FLOWER GRAB. WHO CAME UP WITH THAT NAME? THAT WAS ME! YOU'RE FIRED. HUH? (GROANS) ALL TYPING RAPIDLY TRIUMPHANT MUSIC WHOOSH! OH, WHAT HAPPENED? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED. SOMEONE JUST GOT TO THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL WEAPON BEFORE WE DID. I� SAY SOMEONE JUST GOT TO THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL WEAPON` OK, WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME. CAPTIONS BY JESSICA BOELL. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2015 HORNS HONKING UM, EXCUSE ME. OH, SORRY, DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE. I WAS JUST TAKING MY LUNCH BREAK. ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT TRUE. I WAS SLEEPING UNDER THE COUNTER. BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE MY BOSS DOESN'T GIVE ME A SLEEP BREAK, WHICH I THINK IS WEIRD. I'M SORRY, DID YOU NEED SOMETHING? I'D LIKE TO BUY THIS PERFUME. EW, REALLY? YOU WANT TO BUY THIS? WHY? IS IT BAD? NO, IT'S NOT BAD. IT'S-IT'S JUST... (SNIFFING) WELL, IT'S FINE. I MEAN, SURE IT'S GOT SOME JASMINE, A HINT OF VANILLA, MAYBE A LITTLE SANDALWOOD, BUT DOES THIS MOVE YOU? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? A SCENT NEEDS TO TRANSPORT YOU. IT NEEDS TO CARESS YOU, EVOKE MEMORIES, MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT ALONE. A SCENT SHOULD ENVELOPE YOU, TAKE CARE OF YOU, LOVE YOU. DOES THIS SCENT DO THAT FOR YOU? I NEED TO CALL MY THERAPIST. COME AGAIN! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOUR JOB IS TO SELL PERFUME. UH, THIS ISN'T PERFUME. OH, HERE WE GO. IT ISN'T! YOU DON'T THINK ANY PERFUME IS GOOD ENOUGH. MINE WILL BE. DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE STILL CLINGING TO THE IDEA THAT YOU'RE GOING TO CREATE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FRAGRANCE IN THE WORLD, TAKE IT TO PARIS AND SELL IT TO THE HOUSE OF MOUFFETTE. UH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. LOLA, THE HOUSE OF MOUFFETTE IS THE PREEMINENT PERFUMERY IN THE INDUSTRY. THEY'RE NOT INTERESTED IN A LITTLE SHOP GIRL WHO MAKES PERFUME IN HER BATH TUB. UH, I MAKE 'EM IN MY SINK, OK? THE BATH TUB IS WHERE I KEEP MY SWEATERS. I'VE A VERY TEENY APARTMENT. I KEEP MY SHOES IN MY STOVE. MY FREEZER'S FULL OF SUNGLASSES. I DON'T CARE. JUST LIKE THE HOUSE OF MOUFFETTE IS NEVER GONNA CARE ABOUT YOUR PERFUME. IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT GIOVANNI DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME. ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT I BELIEVE IN ME. IS THAT RIGHT? OR IS IT 'I BELIEVE IN MYSELF'? IS IT 'I BELIEVE IN I-SELF'? NO, THAT'S DEFINITELY WRONG. I'M GOING TO STICK WITH 'I BELIEVE IN ME'. # THE WORLD CAN BE SUCH A STINKY PLACE # WITH THE STENCH OF HUMANITY IN YOUR FACE. # I'M GONNA CLEAR THE ROOM OF GLOOM AND DOOM # WHEN I CREATE MY OWN PERFUME. # I GOT A SMELL IN MY MIND. I'M GOING TO LET IT LOOSE ON THE WORLD. # I KNOW THAT MY FRAGRANCE WILL MAKE A REAL DIFFERENCE # COS A SCENT IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. # I'LL BREAK OPEN A BUNCH OF CANDY BARS # AND HARVEST OUT THE NOUGAT, # THEN I'LL TAKE THE ODOUR FROM A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER # AND MIX THEM ALL INTO IT. # SANDALWOOD SURE SMELLS GOOD WHEN YOU BLEND IT WITH APPLE PIE. # A HINT OF SOME GERANIUM. # THIS TOILETTE IS OH, SO FINE. # LIKE A BUTTERFLY IF BUTTERFLIES SMELLED LIKE # PUPPIES AND FORGIVENESS AND A WISHING WELL. # I GOT A SMELL IN MY MIND. I'M GOING TO LET IT LOOSE ON THE WORLD. # I KNOW THAT MY FRAGRANCE WILL MAKE A REAL DIFFERENCE # COS A SCENT IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. # I GOT AN ITCH TO FIND A WITCH # AND HARNESS ALL OF HER POWERS. # WE'LL FLY ON HER BROOM TO THE TOP OF THE MOON # AND WE'LL LASSO ALL THE FLOWERS. I THINK THERE ARE FLOWERS ON THE MOON. I MEAN, I'M NOT 100% SURE, BUT I'M, LIKE, 90% SURE. OK, MAYBE 80%. # I'LL TAKE MY FRAGRANCE TO THE UNITED NATIONS. # ALL THE LEADERS OF THE WORLD WILL BE IN THE ROOM. # THEN I WILL SPRITZ MY FABULOUS SIGNATURE SMELL # INTO THE AIR CONDITIONING VENTS, # AND THEY'LL FORGET FOR A SEC WHY THEY DON'T GET ALONG, # AND THEY'LL FIND PEACE THROUGH MY PERFUME. I MEAN, LET'S BE REAL, I DON'T GET HOW DIPLOMACY WORKS, BUT I THINK THIS COULD WORK. # I'VE GOT A SMELL IN MY MIND. I'M GOING TO LET IT LOOSE ON THE WORLD. # I KNOW THAT MY FRAGRANCE WILL MAKE A REAL DIFFERENCE # COS A SCENT IS WORTH 1000 WORDS... # YOU'RE FIRED. OK, FIRED. HORN HONKS, TYRES SCREECH WHOO, DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. HORN HONKS BUT IT'S OK. THAT'S-THAT'S IN THE PAST AND IT'S JUST GOING TO MAKE IT THAT MUCH SWEETER WHEN MY DREAM REALLY DOES COME TRUE. WAIT A SECOND, THAT'S IN THE FUTURE. OK, I GOT... I GOT TO STAY IN THE PRESENT, LOLA. THERE'S TONS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR HERE IN THE PRESENT. LIKE WHAT? I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR. FEEL LIKE MY WORLD IS COLLAPSING. I CAN'T BREATHE. (BREATHES HEAVILY) OK, OK. GOT TO THINK OF ONE LITTLE THING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR. I KNOW. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY DAY. THUNDER CRACKS REALLY? HEY! HEY! (SCREAMS) (GROWLS) (WHISTLES) SCREECH! (GRUNTS) WHAT'S UP, DOC? HUH? OH, NO, I'M NOT A DOCTOR. I'M A PERFUME SALESPERSON. WELL, I USED TO BE. I JUST GOT FIRED. SORRY TO HEAR THAT. WHERE TO? UH, HOME, PLEASE. ADDRESS? YOU KNOW WHAT, IT WILL BE EASIER IF I JUST DIRECT YOU. JUST, UH, HEAD DOWNTOWN. OK, TAKE A LEFT UP HERE. IT WILL BE QUICKER, I PROMISE. OK, NOW A SHARP RIGHT. TYRES SCREECH GOOD. ALL RIGHTY, YOU JUST TURN LEFT INTO THIS ALLEY. REALLY? JUST GUN IT THROUGH HERE. OK, GIVE ME A SECOND. I JUST, UH, WANT TO GET A LAY OF THE LAND. OK, WE'RE GOOD. GUNFIRE, WOMAN SCREAMS NOW YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO MAKE A U-TURN. ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOIN'? UH, I THINK I KNOW HOW TO GET HOME. (SCOFFS) I GO THERE EVERY DAY. LOLA: OK, GO RIGHT OVER HERE. SORRY, YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO TURN AROUND. SORRY. LEFT, LEFT, LEFT. ONE MORE RIGHT... OOH, I DON'T KNOW THIS AREA. UM, COULD YOU JUST DO A QUICK U-TURN. AND... WE'RE HERE. FOG HORN BLOWS BUGS BUNNY: WHICH BOAT IS YOURS? WAIT A SECOND! THIS IS WHERE I USED TO LIVE. LOLA, YOU'RE NOT A BARGE CAPTAIN ANYMORE. YOU WERE A BARGE CAPTAIN? YEAH, FOR SEVEN YEARS. OR IS THAT A DREAM I HAD? ANYWAY, YOU PROBABLY NEED TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE U-TURNS COS I LIVE REALLY FAR FROM HERE. (GROWLS) TYRES SCREECH 14TH STREET BETWEEN 6TH AND 7TH. AND THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY. YOU'RE THE CAB DRIVER, I'M GOING TO LET YOU DO YOUR JOB. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HEAR ANOTHER PEEP OUTTA ME. NOT GOING TO SAY ANOTHER SINGLE WORD. OH, WHAT'S THAT PICTURE? THAT'S WHERE I USED TO LIVE. IN FACT, WE'RE ACTUALLY RIGHT NEXT TO IT. THERE YOU GO. THAT'S WHERE IT WAS, UNTIL THE CITY DECIDED THAT ONE THING IT NEEDED WAS ANOTHER HIGH-RISE. WOW, I CAN TELL THIS IS REALLY... REALLY VERY HARD, VERY EMOTIONAL. SO I'M NOT GOING TO ASK YOU ANY MORE QUESTIONS. WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO BECOME A CAB DRIVER? ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'S GREAT. I'M MY OWN BOSS. I CHOOSE WHO I PICK UP, WHO I DON'T. SOMETIMES I MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE. DOESN'T IT GET LONELY, DRIVING AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF STRANGERS? I LIKE IT THAT WAY. IT'S LIKE BEING INVISIBLE IN A CITY FULL OF MILLIONS. TYRES SQUEAL WHOA! THAT'LL BE $24.97. I DIDN'T CHARGE YOU FOR YOUR LITTLE SHORT CUT. OH, MY GOSH, THAT IS SO NICE OF YOU. OH! OH, NO! WHAT? I MUST HAVE LEFT MY PURSE AT WORK. DON'T WORRY, I HAVE MONEY UPSTAIRS. I HAVE A CASH JAR THAT I KEEP IN THE MICROWAVE. IT'S A REALLY SMALL APARTMENT. BRB, PROMISE. YOU BETTER, THE METER'S RUNNING. WHAT? WHERE'S MY CASH JAR? AH, THAT'S RIGHT, I KEPT ACCIDENTALLY COOKING IT, SO I MOVED IT TO MY HAT DRAWER. QUE PASA? (SCREAMS) SERIOUSLY? LOLA, I'VE BEEN YOUR LANDLORD FOR FIVE YEARS. WHEN YOU GONNA STOP SCREAMING EVERY TIME YOU SEE ME? SORRY, I JUST NEVER GET USED TO IT. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. SPEEDY, I'M SO TOUCHED. WELL, I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE FLOWERS AND SMELLS AND ALL THAT STUFF, SO I WAS IN MEXICO AND I THOUGHT I'D PICK IT UP. WHEN WERE YOU IN MEXICO? OH, ABOUT A HALF HOUR AGO. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. LEGEND SAYS IT ONLY BLOOMS ONCE EVERY 200 YEARS HIGH ATOP THE SIERRA GUADALUPE. IT BLOOMED TODAY. THAT SMELL, IT'S SO INSPIRING. IT'S-IT'S PERFECT. OH, DON'T MIND ME, I'LL LET MYSELF OUT. DON'T OFFER ME A GLASS OF WATER OR ANYTHING (!) IT'S NOT LIKE I RAN 2500 MILES CARRYING AN OBJECT THREE TIMES MY SIZE. NO BIG DEAL. REMEMBER, RENT IS DUE TOMORROW. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. I'LL BE BACK SAYING, 'WHERE'S YOUR RENT CHEQUE? AND YOU'LL SAY, 'I FORGOT. SORRY, HERE IT IS.' WE DO IT EVERY TIME. WHATEVER. REMEMBER, RENT IS DUE TOMORROW. BEEPING WELL, I CAN AFFORD TO WAIT, BUT I'M NOT SURE SHE CAN. DRILLING DRAMATIC MUSIC WHIZZ! IS IT A DRONE? IF IT IS, IT'S FASTER THAN ANY DRONE WE'VE GOT. WE CAN'T, I SAY, WE CAN'T LOSE THAT FLOWER. WE'VE MAPPED THE TRAJECTORY AND KNOW WHERE IT ENDED UP. RUSSIA? CHINA? NEW YORK CITY. 1000 WEST 14TH STREET, APARTMENT 12 TO BE EXACT. WE'VE GOT HER. HER? GET ME FUDD. HERE'S FUDD. I THOUGHT I FIRED YOU. YOU CAN'T FIRE AN INTERN. HELLO, I SAY, HELLO, FUDD. NOW JUST LISTEN UP A MINUTE, SON. I SAY, I GOT... I GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE. THERE'S BEEN A DEVELOPMENT. I DON'T HAVE THE FLOWER, BUT I KNOW WHO DOES. (SNORES) (SNIFFS) HMM, THAT CLOVE'S COMING ON A LITTLE STRONG. A LITTLE CLOVE GOES A LONG WAY. ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE HERE. MAYBE JUST A SMIDGE OF GERANIUM. (INHALES DEEPLY) OOH, MUMMY, THAT'S NICE. I HAVE THE WABBIT IN MY SIGHTS. GENERAL: (ON PHONE) WHAT ABOUT THE FLOWER? STILL THERE. GENERAL: OK, SON, STICK WITH HER LIKE A TICK ON A COONHOUND. WHAT? JUST WATCH HER. OK, I'VE GOT THE BASE WHERE I WANT IT. AND NOW THE SECRET WEAPON. INTRIGUING MUSIC BOOM! INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES HERE GOES NOTHING. (INHALES DEEPLY) OMG! OMG! I DID IT! I CREATED MY FRAGRANCE! SHE DID IT! SHE CREATED INVISIBILITY. WELL, WHAT ARE YOU, I SAY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING TO ME FOR, SON? GET IN THERE! URGENT MUSIC IT SMELLS SO GOOD! OOH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. EVERYONE'S GOING TO WANT THIS. OH! OW! RIGHT IN THE EYE. OOH, THAT REALLY STUNG. I'LL HAVE TO PUT A WARNING ON THE BOTTLE. CLOSE EYES BEFORE SPRAYING. (GASPS) OOH, I WONDER WHAT THE BOTTLE'S GOING TO LOOK LIKE. I WONDER WHAT I'M GOING TO CALL IT. OOH, THIS PERFUME'S GONNA BE HUGE! KNOCK AT DOOR WHO COULD THAT BE? (GASPS) THAT POOR CAB DRIVER. SORRY, I'M COMING. GOT A LITTLE SIDE-TRACKED, CREATING THE WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL FRAGRANCE. THUMP! (SCREAMS) URGENT MUSIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES BOTH ROAR WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! (GRUNTS) THUD! DRIVE! UH, I DRIVE WHEN I DECIDE TO DRIVE. GUNFIRE I JUST DECIDED TO DRIVE. TYRES SQUEAL HUH? (GRUMBLES) YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? OH, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON. I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON. CAN IT BE SOMETIME TODAY? THE COSMETICS INDUSTRY IS MADE UP OF SHARKS. WELL, NOT ACTUAL SHARKS. THAT WOULD BE WEIRD. BE KIND OF AMAZING THOUGH COS SHARKS NEVER STOP SWIMMING, SO THAT MEANS THEY WOULD NEVER STOP MAKING COSMETICS. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH US BEING SHOT AT? 10 MINUTES AGO, I CREATED THE WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL FRAGRANCE. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS BRAGGY, BUT IT'S A FACT. I KNOW PERFUME. AND I ALSO KNOW THAT THIS BOTTLE IS WORTH MILLIONS, MAYBE BILLIONS. AND EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE IN THE BEAUTY INDUSTRY IS GOING TO WANT IT! I BET THEY WERE SPYING ON ME THROUGH BINOCULARS FROM THE APARTMENT ACROSS THE STREET. NO ONE WAS SPYING ON YOU THROUGH BINOCULARS. I'VE BEEN WORKING ON CREATING THIS FRAGRANCE FOR YEARS. SURELY, I'M ON EVERYONE'S RADAR IN THE COSMETICS INDUSTRY. I'M PROBABLY BEING BUGGED RIGHT NOW. OH, NO, I'M THE ONE BEING BUGGED. OK, YOU KNOW WHAT, DRIVE TO PARIS. UH, YOU CAN'T DRIVE TO PARIS. YOU HAVE TO FLY. THEN TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT. I'M NOT TAKING YOU ANYWHERE! PLEASE! I HAVE TO GET THIS TO THE HOUSE OF MOUFFETTE BEFORE SOMEONE STEALS IT FROM ME. WELL, I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET THERE WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S HELP. OH, IS THIS ABOUT THE MONEY I OWE YOU? WHAT WAS IT, 20 BUCKS? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME FOR 20 BUCKS? NOT THAT I'M COUNTING, BUT, UH... BEEPS (GULPS) GOOD THING I'M GONNA BE RICH. LOOK, I PROMISE I'LL PAY YOU. (GASPS) THERE'S A BANK RIGHT THERE. WE CAN DO IT RIGHT NOW. TRUST ME, THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE MONEY. I INSIST. MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME 'ALWAYS REPAY YOUR DEBTS'. OR WAS IT 'ALWAYS BRUSH YOUR HAIR BEFORE BED'? NO, COS THESE ARE MY EARS. IT WAS 'ALWAYS REPAY YOUR DEBTS'. (YELLS) WE CAN ASSUME THEY'RE WORKING TOGETHER. THEY HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME. SO THEY'RE PROBABLY A HUSBAND-AND-WIFE CRIME TEAM. OR BROTHER-SISTER. I'M JUST SAYING. WELL, WHOEVER THEY ARE, THEY'RE ABOUT TO BE FAMOUS. REPORTER: (ON TELEVISION) THE SUSPECTS ARE AT LARGE AND CONSIDERED DANGEROUS. THE STATE DEPARTMENT IS OFFERING A REWARD OF $500,000 FOR ANY INFORMATION LEADING TO THEIR CAPTURE. 'GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY AND NO ONE GETS BLASTED TO SMITHEREENS.' SMITHEREENS? SHE AIN'T GOING TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS. THESE ARE CITY FOLK. HMM, MAYBE 'BITS'. 'BLASTED TO BITS'. THAT'S GOT A RING TO IT. COURSE, IT'S A SQUIRT GUN. COME ON, SAM, DON'T DOUBT YOURSELF! BLASTED TO BITS, IT IS! IS THAT RIGHT? THAT DON'T LOOK RIGHT. NEXT CUSTOMER. HOLD YOUR HORSES, GIRLIE! UH, THAT DON'T LOOK RIGHT EITHER. I'M RUNNING OUT OF ROOM HERE. UH, SIR? DAD-GUMMIT! YOU CAN'T RUSH A BANK ROBBERY! ALL GASP UH, I MEAN, UH... DO YOU WANT IT IN 50S OR 20S? OR A BUNCH OF 10S? I LOVE A 10. MAYBE YOU'RE MORE OF A COIN GUY THOUGH? BUNCH OF COINS JINGLING IN YOUR POCKET? I DON'T CARE, WHATEVER. TELLER: NEXT CUSTOMER. UH... UH, I NEED TO GET SOME... DRAMATIC MUSIC OK. WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. HUH? HUH? HUH? OOH! HUH? (LAUGHS EVILLY) WHAT ABOUT YOUR MONEY? GET IN THE CAB! YOSEMITE SAM: YOU'RE NOT A-GOING ANYWHERE! NOW GET IN THE TRUCK! I THOUGHT YOU JUST SAID, 'WE'RE NOT A-GOING ANYWHERE.' WHAT? YOU SAID (IMITATES YOSEMITE SAM), 'YOU'RE NOT A-GOING ANYWHERE!' SO DO YOU WANT US TO GO ANYWHERE OR NOT TO GO ANYWHERE? OH! THEN I MEAN, GO ANYWHERE! AND BY ANYWHERE, I MEAN MY TRUCK. MY LORD, I'VE KNOWN YOU ALL OF TWO SECONDS AND IT FEELS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN BUGGING ME MY WHOLE LIFE. IMAGINE HOW I FEEL. IS THAT YOU ON THOSE MUD FLAPS? IT WAS A SIDE BUSINESS. I TOOK A BATH ON THOSE THINGS. YOU WANT A SET? I'M GOOD. GET IN! MAN: (ON RADIO) WHAT IS THE NATURE OF YOUR EMERGENCY? I GOTS THE TWO MOST WANTED RABBITS IN THE COUNTRY AND I WANTS MY 500 GRAND. WHAT'S YOUR LOCATION? TIMES SQUARE, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BANK I WAS GOING TO ROB. FORGET THAT LAST PART. SIRENS WAILS DISTANTLY HELICOPTERS WHIRR THAT'S AN IMPRESSIVE RESPONSE TIME. GUNS COCK HAND OVER THE WABBITS. HAND OVER THE MONEY. YOU'LL GET YOUR REWARD WHEN WE HAVE THE SUSPECTS IN CUSTODY. SUSPECTS? WHAT ARE WE SUSPECTED OF? WE'RE NOT A 'WE'. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE INVOLVED IN, BUT I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING. NICE TRY, GOVERNMENT MAN. I WANTS MY MONEY FIRST. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH. YOU'LL GET YOUR REWARD. I PROMISE. OH, LIKE THE IRS PROMISED NOT TO GARNISH MY WAGES? THEY A-GARNISHED 'EM. NOW GIVE ME MY 500 GS. FORGET ABOUT THE MONEY. WHAT SHE'S GOT IS THE MOST VALUABLE THING ON THE PLANET. OH, THAT'S VERY FLATTERING. MOST VALUABLE THING ON THE PLANET? THEN THE PRICE JUST WENT UP. I WANTS A ZILLION DOLLARS. AND I WANTS IT NOW OR I'M A-GOING TO SHOOT. BOTH: WHAT?! IT'S JUST A WATER PISTOL. BUT I'M A-FEELING BOXED IN. AND WHEN I'M BOXED IN, I GOTS TO SHOOT MY WAY OUT. YEE-HAW! RAPID GUNFIRE BOOM! YEE-HAW! HMM, GUNS REALLY DO HAVE A WAY OF ESCALATING THE SITUATION. CELL PHONE RINGS HELLO. IT'S ME, YOU SEEM TO HAVE LEFT YOUR PURSE HERE WHEN I FIRED YOU. OH, THANK GOODNESS. GIOVANNI, LISTEN TO ME. I DID IT. I-I CREATED MY PERFUME AND IT IS PERFECT. I'M TRYING TO GET IT TO PARIS BUT EVERYONE'S AFTER ME. I MEAN, I ALWAYS KNEW THE COSMETICS INDUSTRY WAS CUTTHROAT, BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST AN EXPRESSION. WHOEVER IT IS, THEY'RE WILLING TO KILL ME FOR IT. LOLA, NO ONE'S TRYING TO KILL YOU FOR YOUR FRAGRANCE. OH, REALLY? GUNSHOTS CALL THE HOUSE OF MOUFFETTE. TELL THEM LOLA BUNNY HAS THEIR NEXT BIG FRAGRANCE AND SHE IS ON HER WAY. (SCREAMS) DIAL TONE IS THIS THE HOUSE OF MOUFFETTE? I'M CALLING TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR NEXT BIG FRAGRANCE IS ON ITS WAY. WHO CREATED IT? THAT WOULD BE ME. GIOVANNI JONES. NOW I JUST NEED TO FIND LOLA. GUNFIRE CONTINUES COME ON! YOU SURE YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE ANOTHER PHONE CALL? WHOA! WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY? UH, TRUST ME, OK? I KNOW MY WAY AROUND THE NEW YORK CITY SEWAGE SYSTEM. I KNOW I'M GOING TO REGRET ASKING THIS, BUT WHY? OK, WELL, ABOUT A YEAR AGO, I READ ON THE INTERNET 10 SURPRISING FOODS THAT WILL SUPERCHARGE YOUR DAY, AND ONE OF THEM WAS HOT DOGS. SO, EVERY DAY ON MY WAY TO WORK, I WOULD STOP AT THE SAME HOT DOG VENDOR AND GET A HOT DOG. BUT THEN ONE DAY I READ ON THE INTERNET, 10 UNSURPRISING FOODS NO ONE SHOULD BE EATING AND HOT DOGS WERE NUMBER ONE. WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I COULDN'T KEEP EATING HOT DOGS, BUT I STILL HAD TO WALK PAST THE HOT DOG VENDOR TO GET TO WORK. I JUST COULDN'T FACE HIM ` HIS SAD LITTLE HOT-DOG-VENDOR FACE. BUT THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO WORK, OR SO I THOUGHT. SO YOU TOOK THE SEWER TO WORK? MMM-HMM. NO FUSS, NO MUSS. WELL, ACTUALLY A LOT OF MUSS, TONS OF MUSS. OK, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET DOWN ON OUR BELLIES FOR THIS PART. (CHUCKLES) NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON. I TOLD YOU. THEY WANT MY PERFUME. IT'S GOING TO BE THE MOST POPULAR FRAGRANCE IN THE WORLD. IT WILL BE EVERYWHERE. AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE MONEY. YOU CAN HAVE IT. I TOLD YOU, I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY. ARE YOU SURE? YOU'D BE ABLE TO BUY THAT BUILDING AND TEAR IT DOWN AND GO BACK TO LIVING IN THAT LITTLE HOLE AND BEING ALONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT? YES, BUT` THEN, COME ON! LOLA, LISTEN TO ME. WHOOPS! LOLA, THOSE WERE THE FEDS BACK THERE! THE FEDS DON'T WANT YOUR PERFUME. YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY MIXED UP IN SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S BIG. BUGS, I TOLD YOU, THE COSMETICS INDUSTRY IS A BILLION-DOLLAR INDUSTRY. (GROANS) HOW AM I GOING TO GET THAT PERFUME? SHE COULD BE ANYWHERE. BUGS BUNNY: I PROMISE YOU, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE COSMETICS INDUSTRY. NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE IS TRYING TO STEAL YOUR PERFUME AND TAKE IT TO PARIS. I'M OFF TO PARIS. MY PERFUME! GI... GIOVANNI'S GOT MY PERFUME! WE'VE GOT TO STOP HIM. BOTH SPEAK INAUDIBLY, JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS NO WAY, I'M DONE. LOOK, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. (STUTTERS) HEY, COME ON, COME ON. (STUTTERS) GREEN MEANS GO. HONKS GENTLY OH. (CHUCKLES) I'D RATHER TAKE MY CHANCES WITH THE FBI THAN FOLLOW YOU FROM ONE MESS TO ANOTHER. WELL, I HAVE TO GET MY PERFUME BACK. THAT IS ONE NUTTY RABBIT. HORN HONKS TYRES SCREECH WHOA! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GO AFTER HER. OH, BROTHER. TAXI! SCREECH! FOLLOW THAT VAN. WHOA, MAN, I DON'T GIVE PEOPLE RIDES. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THIS IS A TAXI. YEAH, BUT IT'S FOR MY TRANSPORTATION NEEDS ONLY. HOW DO YOU MAKE MONEY? MY SALARY. TAXI DRIVERS DON'T MAKE A SALARY. YOU ONLY MAKE MONEY BY GIVING PEOPLE RIDES. OH, THAT'S WHY I'M BROKE. ALL RIGHT, WHERE TO? FOLLOW THAT VAN. TYRES SCREECH HORNS HONK SO, WHERE ARE YOU FROM? ARE YOU CRAZY? LEGALLY, NO. THERE'S NOT A WORD FOR MY CONDITION. BOTH YELL COMING UP ON YOUR LEFT, YOU'LL NOTICE THE FAMED STATUE OF LIBERTY. THAT'S THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. WELL, IT HAS MANY NICKNAMES. THEN RIGHT UP HERE ON OUR RIGHT, YOU'RE GOING TO GET A GLIMPSE OF THE MAJESTIC ST. LOUIS ARCHES. THERE'S JUST THE ONE AND IT'S IN ST. LOUIS. SEE, THIS IS WHY I DON'T GIVE RIDES. TYRES SCREECH ACTION MUSIC TYRES SCREECH TYRES SCREECH ACTION MUSIC CONTINUES TYRES SCREECH ACTION MUSIC CONTINUES THAT'LL BE $7,000. WHAT? YOU NEVER EVEN TURNED THE METER ON! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THAT. I DO IT ALL IN MY HEAD. WAIT HERE. CAR DOOR OPENS WHERE ARE YOU GOING? TO SEE IF THEY HAVE A BATHROOM. I'M ON THIS CRAZY INTERNET HOT DOG DIET. (GROANS) I'M JUST A LITTLE BURBLY. 1 SHE SAYS SHE DOESN'T HAVE IT. SHE SAYS SOMEONE NAMED GIOVANNI HAS IT AND HE'S ON HIS WAY TO PARIS. (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) ELIMINATE HER? LOLA: HMM? OH, WELL I DIDN'T KNOW WE'D BE ELIMINATING PEOPLE, BUT, UH, THAT'S FINE. OK, I UNDERSTAND, BUT MAYBE I SHOULD BE PAID A LITTLE MORE THAN WE AGREED ON BECAUSE ELIMINATING PEOPLE IS DEFINITELY A VERY ILLEGAL ACTIVITY AND I'M NOT VERY... (CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) OH, OK. OK, SO MY LIFE WOULD BE IN JEOPARDY AND YOU'LL HAVE ME ELIMINATED. I UNDERSTAND. WELL, IN THAT CASE, I THINK WE CAN STICK WITH THE ORIGINAL DEAL. DIAL TONE HELLO, HELLO? HMM, DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE. ALL RIGHT, ELIMINATE HER. BUZZER BUZZES, ALARM BLARES (MUFFLED SCREAMING) I'M JUST CURIOUS, UM,... HOW MUCH ARE YOU GUYS GETTING PAID FOR THIS? OH, YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL ME, I JUST... I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'RE ALL GETTING THE SAME AMOUNT. FINE, DON'T TELL ME, BUT ALL I KNOW IS I'M NOT GETTING PAID ENOUGH TO WATCH SOMEONE GET SMELTED IN THE SMELTER. NOW LET'S GET OURSELVES TO PARIS AND FIND THIS GIOVANNI. ACTION MUSIC OVER THERE. A BATHROOM? BUGS BUNNY: SHUT OFF THE MACHINE! FRANTIC MUSIC HMM. HOW'S THAT? LOLA SCREAMS THAT'S NOT IT. KEYS BEEP HOW ABOUT NOW? WHIRRING (SCREAMS) NOPE. HOW'S THIS? NOT GREAT. (YELLS) OH, I BET IT'S THIS ONE. DOESN'T ONE OF THEM SAY 'ON/OFF'? YEAH! WELL, COULD YOU PRESS THAT ONE? (SLURPING) AH! (SCREAMS) FRANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES BEEPING CONTINUES TRIUMPHANT MUSIC OH, BUGS, I JUST KNEW YOU'D SAVE ME. MAYBE NOT AS MUCH AS I KNEW I WAS GOING TO GET SMELTED, BUT I PRETTY MUCH KINDA SORT OF REALLY WAS HOPING YOU WERE GOING TO SAVE ME. AND YOU DID. YOU MEAN, WE... DAFFY DUCK. SORRY ABOUT THE WET HAND, JUST WASHED 'EM. FOUND THE BATHROOM. SURPRISINGLY NICE. COME ON, WE HAVE TO GET TO THE AIRPORT AND FIND GIOVANNI BEFORE THEY DO. AN AIRPORT RUN? THIS GUY ALREADY OWES ME $7,000. YOSEMITE SAM: NOW WAIT A DOGGONE SECOND. YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT NOT ONLY DO I GET NO REWARD, I'M A-GETTING CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTED BANK ROBBERY? BE QUIET! UH, YES, GENERAL. I'M AFRAID WE LOST THE WABBITS. FIRST OFF, WHY IS ATTEMPTED BANK ROBBERY ILLEGAL? IF I'D A-JUST ATTEMPTED IT, IT MEANS I DIDN'T GET IT DONE. DO YOU SEE ME SITTING ON PILES OF MONEY FROM THE BANK I ROBBED? NO! BECAUSE I DIDN'T ROB IT. I WAS JUST ATTEMPTING IT. AND YOU'RE THE ONLY REASON THEM RABBITS GOT AWAY. I'M WELL AWARE THIS IS A MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY. (GROANS) HEY, GOVERNMENT MAN. YES, SIR. WE'RE LOOKING EVERYWHERE, SIR. BALDY! COMING UP ON YOUR LEFT, YOU'LL NOTICE THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT. THAT'S IN WASHINGTON. (SIGHS) IS THAT THAT LITTLE HILLBILLY LEPRECHAUN THAT TRIED TO KIDNAP US? HUH? STEP ON IT! OKEY-DOKEY, BUT IT'S GONNA COST YOU EXTRA. ACTION MUSIC WHAT ABOUT THE AIRPORT? RIGHT NOW WE GOT BIGGER FISH TO FRY. ACTION MUSIC CONTINUES UH, SPEAKING OF FISH... UH, IF YOU LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT, YOU'LL SEE THE FAMED FISHERMAN'S WHARF. SIRENS BLARE THERE'S OLD FAITHFUL. ACTION MUSIC CONTINUES HMM, LOOK AT THAT, THE SPACE NEEDLE. DAFFY DUCK: WELL, LOOK AT THAT. (CHUCKLES) REMEMBER THE ALAMO. (GASPS) ALL EXCLAIM ACTION MUSIC CONTINUES SIRENS BLARE BOTH GASP ACTION MUSIC CONTINUES HUH? (CHUCKLES) IT'S EASIER THIS WAY. BANG! NOPE. HARDER. SIRENS WAIL COME ON, WE CAN LOSE THEM IN HERE. OH, GREAT IDEA. WHY ARE YOU COMING? WELL, IT'S NOT EVERY DAY A PERSON GETS TO SEE THE GRAND CANYON. THIS IS CENTRAL PARK. I THOUGHT THAT WAS IN MICHIGAN. SIREN WAILS BUGS! THIS WAY. GENTLE MUSIC DAFFY DUCK LAUGHS MONKEY SHRIEKS (LAUGHS) MONKEYS EXCLAIM (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 1 CLIMB IN. AW, SO ROMANTIC. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU THOUGHT OF ME IN THAT WAY. I MEAN I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, THERE'S OBVIOUSLY SOME CHEMISTRY HERE AND YOU ARE EASY ON THE EYES. SORRY, DOC, BUT WE GOT TO GET TO THE AIRPORT. OH, RIGHT, YEAH, AIRPORT. WHIP CRACKS, HORSE NEIGHS DUCKS QUACK LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. THESE DUCKS, THEY JUST LIVE HERE, RENT FREE? MEALS, EVERYTHING TAKEN CARE OF? HMM-HMM. INTERESTING. SIREN WAILS UNBELIEVABLE. NEVER GOT MY ONE PHONE CALL. WHO WOULD I CALL? I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO CALL. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. POINT IS, YOU GET A PHONE CALL. HORSE NEIGHS WELL, WELL, WELL. FINALLY, THESE LITTLE DOLLS HANDS IS GOOD FOR SOMETHING. LOLA CLEARS THROAT BUGS BUNNY: ARE YOU KIDDING? OH, BROTHER. SMASH! HORSE NEIGHS THERE HE IS! ONE TICKET TO PARIS, PLEASE. COME ON. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? DUH, WE HAVE TO GET ON THAT FLIGHT TO PARIS! PARIS, EH? WE'RE WANTED CRIMINALS. WE TRY AND BUY A TICKET, THEY'LL ARREST US. WELL, THEN WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? HMM. I THINK I'VE GOT AN IDEA. YOSEMITE SAM: ONE TICKET TO PARIS. DOWN HERE. OH, I'M SORRY. THAT WILL BE $2,165.38. I DON'T WANT TO BUY THE PLANE, I JUST WANT A RIDE ON IT. DARN, I REGRET NOT ROBBING THAT BANK. (CLEARS THROAT) (GRUNTS) HOW AM I GOING TO GET ON THAT PLANE WITHOUT A TICKET? DOG BARKS UGH, THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TAKE THE VAN WYCK. OK, YOU TWO GET US TICKETS TO PARIS, I'M GOING TO POP INTO THE DUTY-FREE SHOP. WHAT? I NEED SOME BRONZING POWDER. (HUMS) DOG BARKS WHOA! CAN SOMEONE TIP ME OVER, PLEASE? ANYONE? SOMEONE? ANYONE? I KNOW YOU CAN SEE ME. HELLO! BUGS BUNNY: (OVER INTERCOM) WELCOME TO FLIGHT 418, NONSTOP TO PARIS. OUR FLIGHT TIME IS APPROXIMATELY SEVEN HOURS AND 16 MINUTES. DINNER WILL BE SERVED SHORTLY, SO SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT. OK, YOU KNOW THERE ARE MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS. YEAH, BUT I LIKE THE HEIGHT THE HEELS GIVE ME. HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THE PERFUME? AT SOME POINT HE'S GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. WE'LL GET IT THEN. WELL, WHAT IF HE NEVER USES THE BATHROOM? IT'S A SEVEN-HOUR FLIGHT. MAYBE WE NEED A LITTLE INSURANCE. HERE YOU GO, ONE JUMBO OAT BRAN MUFFIN WITH A SIDE OF DRIED PRUNES. A COUPLE OF BOXES OF RAISINS, SOME ASSORTED MELON, SEVEN OR EIGHT FIBRE WAFERS AND A LARGE CUP OF BLACK COFFEE. CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING ELSE? UH, I THOUGHT I ORDERED THE CHICKEN. WE'RE ALL OUT OF THE CHICKEN. I PREDICT A BATHROOM BREAK IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, A ONE. STOMACH GROWLS AH, HE TOOK THE PERFUME. RELAX, WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. EXCUSE ME, IS THE BATHROOM OCCUPIED? OH, THE ONE IN THE BACK IS DEFINITELY OCCUPIED. (WHINES) OH, NO, HELP YOURSELF. SOTTO VOCE: BUGS, THAT'S THE TURTLE, THE ONE THAT TRIED TO SMELT ME! WE GOT TO GET THAT PERFUME FROM GIOVANNI BEFORE HE DOES. THANK YOU. I SHOULDN'T, BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE PEANUTS? (HUMS HAPPILY) (SIGHS, LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) (SCREAMS) THUD! AH, IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING. IT'S RIGHT THERE. AH, I'VE GOT IT. I'LL TAKE THIS FORK AND JAB IT INTO HIS THIGH WHILE YOU TAKE THAT SCALDING COFFEE AND JUST, JUST POUR IT RIGHT IN HIS FACE! (GRUNTING) WHAT, YOU WANT TO DO THE FORK? JUST SIT DOWN. EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WE'RE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE SOME TURBULENCE AHEAD, SO I'M GOING TO NEED TO COLLECT ANY LOOSE ITEMS YOU MIGHT HAVE. OK, AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR POCKETS? WHAT! OH, I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO EMPTY YOUR POCKETS, SO NOTHING JABS YOU WITH ALL THE TURBULENCE. IT'S AN FAA REGULATION. YOU'LL GET IT BACK. SMACK! BUCKLE UP. YOU GOT IT? I GOT IT. (SQUEALS) I ALSO GOT A TON OF DUTY-FREE STUFF FROM THAT TURTLE. OH, THAT'S SOME REALLY GOOD BRONZER. PASSENGERS SNORE EXCUSE ME, LADIES. BOTH GASP SHOULDN'T YOU TWO BE AWAKE? YEAH, BUT SHOULDN'T YOU BE FLYING THE PLANE? LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO ALARM YOU, BUT WE JUST GOT WORD THAT INTERPOL WILL BE MEETING US AT THE RUNWAY WHEN WE LAND. AND NO ONE IS TO DEPLANE UNTIL THEY COME ABOARD. APPARENTLY WE HAVE TWO WANTED FUGITIVES ON OUR FLIGHT. BOTH GASP ANY QUESTIONS? I HAVE ONE. WHO DO YOU THINK BUILT STONEHENGE? I THINK ALIENS. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) WE DON'T HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. HMPH. WE GOT TO HIDE. FOLLOW ME. WE'LL STAY DOWN HERE AND SNEAK OUT WITH THE BAGS. YOU AIN'T A-GONNA SNEAK NOWHERE. YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME THAT THING EVERYONE'S AFTER YOU FOR, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. YOU WANT THIS? WELL, GUESS WHAT, LITTLE MAN, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT ME FOR IT. I AIN'T AFRAID TO HIT A GIRL. NEITHER AM I. COMICAL MUSIC OH! BUZZING (GROANING) YEE-HAW! (GROANING) (YELPS) COMICAL MUSIC CONTINUES (LAUGHING) NO! NO! NO! GOTCHA! OH, THAT WAS CLOSE. THOUGHT I WAS IN REAL TROUBLE THERE, FOR A SECOND. (SCREAMING) GRAB ON TO ME! FRANTIC MUSIC WHAT ARE YOU DOING? BUGS, THOSE ARE OTHER PEOPLE'S THINGS. MAYBE CAB DRIVERS DON'T MAKE A LOT OF MONEY BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'S CLOTHES. YOU DON'T EVEN WEAR PANTS. LOLA: OH! TRIUMPHANT MUSIC INCREDIBLE! OH, COME ON. I WAS JUST GOING ON INSTINCT. ANYONE WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING. WELL, NOT YOU, THIS BLOUSE. SO, HOW DO I LOOK? 1 EXCUSE ME, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE TWO FLIGHT ATTENDANTS? KEEP IT MOVING. BUT THEY HAVE SOMETHING OF MINE. WELL, THAT'S THE LAST OF THEM. NO SIGN OF THE SUSPECTS. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. SEARCH IT AGAIN. I'M JUST SAYING, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU HAD PARACHUTED US TO A RESORT OR A HOTEL. I MEAN THERE'S TONS OF THEM IN FRANCE. QUIET! WHAT? I DON'T THINK WE'RE ALONE. O-M-G! WE'RE SAVED! WE'RE SURROUNDED BY SHARKS! THOSE ARE DOLPHINS. AND FORTUNATELY FOR US, I SPEAK DOLPHIN. (IMITATING A DOLPHIN) I JUST TOLD THEM TO GO GET HELP. GET A NICE YACHT, A BIG ONE WITH A JACUZZI. (GROWLS) MAN, THESE ARE SOME DUMB DOLPHINS. YOU'RE CRAZY, YOU KNOW THAT. I SHOULD'VE NEVER PICKED YOU UP THAT DAY. I WAS PERFECTLY CONTENT LIVING MY LIFE ALL ON MY OWN AND NOW I'M GOING TO BE EATEN BY A FISH WITH A LUNATIC BY MY SIDE! HORN BLOWS TOLD YOU. THANKS, DOLPHINS. SORRY FOR CALLING YOU DUMB. OH, I MEAN... (IMITATING A DOLPHIN) (GROWLS) (DIALLING PHONE NUMBER) UH, YEAH, YEAH, YES, THIS IS GIOVANNI JONES. I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE MR MOUFFETTE THIS AFTERNOON, BUT THERE'S BEEN A SLIGHT COMPLICATION AND, UH, I MIGHT NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME. HANG UP. I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOMETHING WE WANT. TOSH: HOW POSITIVELY FORTUITOUS! HERE YOU ARE TRYING TO GET TO PARIS. AND WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO PARIS. BOTH GIGGLE NOW, ENOUGH CHIT CHAT. I WANT TO SEE THAT PERFUME WE'VE BEEN HEARING SO MUCH ABOUT. NOW DON'T JUDGE IT BY THE BOTTLE. IT'S ALL I HAD. BUT I JUST KNOW THAT MR MOUFFETTE WILL HAVE A MILLION WONDERFUL IDEAS. I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAME YET. WHAT ABOUT 'LOLA'? IT HAS A CERTAIN RING TO IT. OH, NO. I COULDN'T NAME IT AFTER MYSELF. WELL, WHY EVER NOT? YOU CREATED IT. IT'S YOUR FRAGRANCE. COME ON, GIVE US A SPRITZ. POOF! AH! MY HEAVENS! MY HEAVENS, IS RIGHT. OH, THIS SCENT IS OUT OF THIS WORLD. AND SO ARE YOU! WHAT? YOU'VE DISAPPEARED! THAT'S WHY EVERYONE WANTS THIS. YOU INVENTED INVISIBILITY! (SIGHS) INVISIBILITY, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS? YES, IT MEANS MY PERFUME IS A DISASTER. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? A FRAGRANCE IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU STAND OUT NOT DISAPPEAR. FORGET THE FRAGRANCE. YOU'VE INVENTED THE MOST POWERFUL THING MAYBE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. I AM EVER SO SORRY AND I HATE TO BE A BOTHER, BUT THERE IS STILL THAT LITTLE MATTER OF... (CLEARING THROAT) MY FRIEND HAVING VANISHED! WHAT ON EARTH IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT? WHERE ARE YOU, TOSH?! I'M RIGHT HERE! WHERE?! TOSH SCREAMS SPLASH! BUGS BUNNY: AND NOW WE KNOW WATER WASHES IT OFF. WHATEVER HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU? YOU WERE INVISIBLE. OH, HERE WE GO AGAIN. THIS IS PRECISELY WHAT OUR THERAPIST WAS TALKING ABOUT. I'M ALWAYS INVISIBLE TO YOU. I BEG YOUR PARDON, NO. REMEMBER KEITH SAID, 'NO ONE IS ALWAYS ANYTHING.' OH, FINE. I AM USUALLY INVISIBLE TO YOU. WHY, BECAUSE I IGNORED YOUR ADVICE ABOUT MY MOTHER? CUT THE CORD, MAC. I TOLD YOU, I'M GOING TO STOP SENDING HER MONEY. YES, BUT YOU SAY THAT EVERY MONTH. I HAVE TO DO IT ON MY TERMS AND ON MY TIMETABLE. CUT THE CORD, MAC. MAC: I AM WORKING WITH KEITH ON THIS. TOSH: YOU LIE TO MY FACE. MAC: WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT? TOSH: YOU SAID YOU'VE NOT BEEN IN CONTACT AND YOU'VE BEEN IN CONTACT! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? (GASPS) HAVE YOU LOOKED AT MY PHONE? OH, DON'T YOU TURN THIS AROUND ON ME. THE WOMAN SAID SHE HATED ME. HATED! THOSE ARE JUST WORDS! WORDS ARE WEAPONS, MAC. CUT THE CORD. WHAT'S UP, DOC? HMM? I TOLD YOU I'M NOT A DOCTOR. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM ANYMORE. WELL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN THE WORLD. THINK OF ALL THE POSSIBILITIES THIS OFFERS. WHENEVER YOU WANT, YOU CAN GO TOTALLY UNNOTICED. IT'S THE ULTIMATE IN BEING LEFT ALONE. INVISIBILITY IS A DREAM COME TRUE. MAYBE THAT'S YOUR DREAM. IT'S NOT MINE. MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU HAD A NEW DREAM. LOOK AT THAT. THE MOST ROMANTIC CITY IN THE WORLD. AND THANKS TO YOUR INVENTION, IT CAN ALL BE YOURS. ONE NIGHT. WHAT DO YOU SAY? I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR. YOU DO REALISE WE'LL BE INVISIBLE. OOH! ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? BOTH: MAKEOVER! BOTH GIGGLE # THERE'S NOTHING QUITE AS SWEET AS A WOMAN'S INNER BEAUTY. # A SPARKLE FROM WITHIN IS A LADY'S CALL OF DUTY. # YOUR BRAINS, YOUR CLASS, YOUR WINNING SMILE ` THESE THINGS CANNOT BE BOUGHT. # BUT HOW TO WEAR A KILLER DRESS CAN CERTAINLY BE TAUGHT. # F. # CAN YOU FEEL IT? # A. # ALL RIGHT NOW. # B. # BUST IT OUT. # U. # YOU KNOW IT. # L. # YOU LOVE IT. # O. # OH, MY. # U. # YOU FOLLOWING THIS? # S. # I SAID... # I'M SO FABULOUS. # YOU'RE SO FABULOUS. # WE'RE SO FABULOUS. # WE'RE SO FABULOUS. # GIRL. # GIRL, YOU'RE FABULOUS. # NO TIME TO WASTE, IT'S GETTING LATE. YOU'VE GOT TO LOOK YOUR BEST. # A FLAWLESS LOOK FROM HEAD TO TOE TO STAND OUT FROM THE REST. # A GATHERED WAIST, A MERMAID HEM, A BUSTIER TO DIE. # AND, GIRL, YOU KNOW THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS OVER-ACCESSORISE. # F. OH, BOY. # CAN YOU FEEL IT? # A. # ALL RIGHT NOW. # B. # BUST IT OUT. # U. # YOU KNOW IT. # L. # YOU LOVE IT. # O. # OH, MY. # U. # YOU FOLLOWING THIS? # S. # I SAID... # I'M SO FABULOUS. # YOU'RE SO FABULOUS. # WE'RE SO FABULOUS. WE'RE SO FABULOUS. # RHINESTONES, CRYSTALS, GOLD LAME. WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T WEAR FUR? # BUT WHEN IN DOUBT, A KITTEN HEEL WILL ALWAYS MAKE YOU PURR. # A POUTY LIP, A CONTOURED CHEEK, A SMOKY EYE'S A PLUS. # EXTEND YOUR LASH THEN ARCH YOUR BROW AND YOU LOOK FABULOUS. # F. # F. # CAN YOU FEEL IT? # A. # A. # ALL RIGHT NOW. # B. # B. # BUST IT OUT. # U. # U. # YOU KNOW IT. # L. # L. # YOU LOVE IT. # O. # O. # OH, MY. # U. # U. # YOU FOLLOWING THIS? # S. # S. # I SAID... # I'M SO FABULOUS! # SHE'S SO FABULOUS. # WE'RE SO FABULOUS. # WE'RE SO FABULOUS. # GIRL, YOU'RE FABULOUS! ROMANTIC MUSIC WELL, HOW DO I LOOK? BEAUTIFUL. SEEMS A SHAME TO DO THIS, BUT... ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES HAVE FUN! DON'T DO ANYTHING WE WOULDN'T DO. WELL, THAT'S NOT MUCH, NOW IS IT? BOTH LAUGH OH, YOU DO NEED TO CUT THAT CORD THOUGH. I KNOW. JAUNTY FRENCH MUSIC HUH? SMASH! SMASH! SMASH! SIREN WAILS JAUNTY FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES HORN HONKS OH! HUH! WHOA! HORN HONKS BOTH: HUH! BOTH SHRIEK PEOPLE SCREAM HORN HONKS CARS CRASH CAR ALARMS BLARE 1 BUGS BUNNY: YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN. LOLA: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M INVISIBLE. YOU CAN'T SEE ME AT ALL. I SEE YOU. SIREN WAILS, BOTH GASP GUNS COCK YOU TWO, FREEZE, IT'S OVER! NOW, GIVE ME THE BOTTLE. SORRY. THEY HAD GUNS! WHY SHOULD YOU GUYS HAVE IT? IT'S HERS! SHE INVENTED IT. IT'S TOO POWERFUL A WEAPON. IT CAN'T END UP IN THE WRONG HANDS. NOW GIVE US THE BOTTLE OR WE'LL SHOOT. BOTH GRUNT I'M AFRAID THE ONLY SHOOTING AROUND HERE IS GOING TO BE DONE BY US. WHO ARE YOU? LET'S JUST SAY I'M WORKING FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS THAT MORE THAN YOU. YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS. HAND OVER THE BOTTLE OR I SHOOT YOU. OR IS THAT ONE OPTION? HAND OVER THE BOTTLE OR I SHOOT YOU. OH, I GUESS THAT'S ONE OPTION. LOOKS LIKE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE OPTION. REALLY? WHAT ABOUT THIS OPTION? OH! DON'T DO IT! (GASPS) NO! (SNIFFS) HUH? DRAMATIC MUSIC OH! FIFI! I GOT IT! I FINALLY GOT THAT THING THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT EVERYBODY WANTS THAT'S WORTH MORE MONEY THAN I'D KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH. TENSE MUSIC OH, BOY. ALL GROAN SPOOKY MUSIC IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GET THAT FOR YOU. YOU'RE MARTIANS, TOO? OH, I BET YOU ARE GETTING PAID MORE THAN ME. YOU'RE A MARTIAN? NOT JUST ANY MARTIAN. MARVIN THE MARTIAN. WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH INVISIBILITY? IT'S QUITE SIMPLE REALLY. THE EARTH OBSTRUCTS MY VIEW OF VENUS. SO, I'M GOING TO MAKE IT INVISIBLE. WHAT? BUT IF EVERYTHING WAS INVISIBLE WOULDN'T THERE BE MASS CONFUSION? I MEAN, CARS WOULD CRASH INTO EACH OTHER, PLANES WOULD COLLIDE, PEOPLE WOULD DIE! I KNOW, IT WOULD BE A LOT EASIER JUST TO BLOW IT UP. BUT I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED THE ILLUDIUM Q-36 SPACE MODULATOR. SO, PLAN B. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD INVISIBLE. I MEAN, THAT'S GOT TO BE AS ILLEGAL A THING TO DO AS A PERSON CAN THINK OF. I SHOULD BE GETTING A TON MORE MONEY. TENSE MUSIC WHAT? OH, GOODY. IT REALLY DOES WORK. (SNIFFING) BUT FIRST I NEED TO GET RID OF THAT PUTRID SCENT. PUTRID! PUTRID MEANS BAD, RIGHT? NOW, WHERE IS THAT SEPARATOR? I ALWAYS MISPLACE THE SEPARATOR. A-HA! ELECTRICITY CRACKLES OH, GOODY. NOW I HAVE ONE SUPER CONCENTRATED BOTTLE OF INVISIBILITY AND ONE BOTTLE OF WHATEVER YOU CALL THIS. IT'S CALLED LOLA. AND THAT'S THE WRONG ONE. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, FOOLISH EARTH CREATURE? THIS IS THE ONE YOU WANT. IT'S THE ORIGINAL. IT IS? NO HARM DONE. I'LL JUST TAKE THIS ONE AND GIVE YOU THIS ONE. OKEY-DOKEY, YOU TAKE THIS ONE, I'LL TAKE THIS ONE. NO, NO, NO, NOT THAT ONE. THINK FAST. OK, HERE YOU GO. YOU KEEP THIS ONE, I'LL TAKE THAT ONE. I'LL TAKE THIS ONE, YOU TAKE THAT ONE. THIS ONE'S YOURS. OK. HERE YOU GO. INDISTINCT OVERLAPPING DIALOGUE OH! AND THERE YOU ARE, SIR. AND REMEMBER THE ACME COMPANY GUARANTEES COMPLETE CUSTOMER SATISFACTION. WELL, THANK YOU. YOU DON'T SEE THAT TYPE OF PERSONALISED SERVICE VERY OFTEN THESE DAYS. HEY, THIS ISN'T... GET THEM! FRANTIC MUSIC BOTH SCREAM ALL SCREAM BOTH SCREAM WHOA! ALL: WHOA! A-HA! (GRUNTS AND GROANS) (PANTS) FRANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ALL GROAN ELECTRICITY CRACKLES FRANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ELECTRICITY CRACKLES FRANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES STOP RIGHT THERE, EARTH CREATURES! LOCK THEM IN THE CAPTIVATOR. WHAT? THE CAPTIVATOR. THE PLACE WHERE YOU HOLD SOMEONE CAPTIVE. IT'S... HMM, WHERE IS IT? I COULD HAVE SWORN IT WAS RIGHT OVER THERE. OH, FORGET IT. EVERYONE STAND OVER THERE AND IF YOU MOVE AGAIN, I'LL VAPORISE YOU. HUH! YOU TOO. WHAT? I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL. OH, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY MOTHER. SHE ALWAYS SAID, 'NEVER TRUST A MARTIAN.' I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER. SPOOKY MUSIC BEEPING AND NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PRECIOUS EARTH. UH, HEY, DOC. MM-HM? IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH THIS BOTTLE OF PERFUME OVER HERE, WOULD YOU MIND IF I GAVE IT TO THE GIRL, SEEING AS HOW IT WAS HER LIFELONG DREAM AND ALL. DO WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE SOON I WILL BE PLACING YOU ALL IN THE ELIMINATOR, WHICH IS RIGHT OVER THERE. HUH! OH, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. HOW DO YOU LOSE AN ELIMINATOR? BEEPING OH, GOODY. IT'S READY. SPOOKY MUSIC INTENSIFIES BOOM! SPLAT! WHAT HAPPENED? OH, WERE YOU WANTING SOMETHING TO DISAPPEAR? OH! SHOOT THEM! OH! BUGS BUNNY: I'LL TAKE THOSE. CECIL: THIS WAY! I AM SO ANGRY. LOLA: YOU SWITCHED THE BOTTLES? BUGS BUNNY: AIN'T I A STINKER? WHOA, WHAT'S THIS? 'ILLUDIUM Q-36 SPACE MODULATOR.' CECIL: HEY! BUGS BUNNY: HEY, MARVIN! MMM-HMM? CATCH. OH, WHY, THANK YOU. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT. BOOM! BOOM! SPOOKY MUSIC I HATE EARTHLINGS. TRIUMPHANT MUSIC WHOOSH! SPLASH! BOOM! WHOOSH! CRASH! (PANTS) (GASPS) FIFI, I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU. FIFI, COME BACK. FIFI! (GASPING) WHERE'S THE BOTTLE? IN THERE. WELL, IT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. I DON'T THINK THE WORLD IS QUITE READY FOR INVISIBILITY. WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL, SO I SHOULD PROBABLY BE ON MY WAY. REALLY? YOU'RE A TURTLE. I'M GOING TO CATCH YOU. OH. OH, LOLA, CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME? OF COURSE, I FORGIVE YOU. OH, THANK YOU. HUG? DON'T PUSH IT. (SNIFFING) DO YOU SMELL THAT? (SNIFFING) I GUESS YOUR DREAM CAME TRUE. YOU BROUGHT YOUR FRAGRANCE TO THE WHOLE WORLD AFTER ALL. I'M SORRY YOUR DREAM DIDN'T. WHAT WAS MY DREAM? GETTING TO BE ALL ALONE. MAYBE IT'S TIME I HAD A NEW DREAM. ROMANTIC MUSIC LOLA! SPEEDY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I'M GETTING MY MORNING CROISSANT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU DON'T PAY RENT, BUT YOU CAN AFFORD TO TAKE A ROMANTIC TRIP TO PARIS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND? AYE, YA, YA. I'M GOING TO SWITZERLAND FOR SOME HOT CHOCOLATE. ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING APPLAUSE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS MY GREAT PRIVILEGE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE OF MOUFFETTE, MONSIEUR LE PEW. APPLAUSE OH, MY LITTLE BOTTLE OF LOVE. BOTH: OH! EXCUSEZ-MOI. MY AUDIENCE, SHE AWAITS. BONJOUR, MES AMIS. BEFORE I UNVEIL OUR LATEST FRAGRANCE, I WISH TO SAY A FEW WORDS. ONE YEAR AGO, FOR A BRIEF MOMENT, THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE SCENT COVERED THE WORLD, AND I FEARED THAT WE WOULD NEVER SMELL SOMETHING THAT BEAUTIFUL AGAIN. BUT I WAS WRONG. AFTER ALL, THIS SCENT WAS CREATED BY THE SAME WOMAN. I GIVE YOU 'LOLA'! WILD APPLAUSE ROMANTIC MUSIC WHAT IS THE WORD, DOCTOR? OH, WHAT, I DID IT WRONG? WELL, I'M SORRY. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? BUSY, JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT. HOW WAS YOURS? NOT BUSY, JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT. SO, WHAT'D YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT? (CLICKS TONGUE) I THOUGHT WE COULD GO TO THE GAME. BUT IT'S THE PLAYOFFS. IT'S SOLD OUT. EH, WE'LL GET IN. TRUST ME. HOW? HUH! IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? YOU'VE HAD IT THIS WHOLE TIME? HAVE YOU BEEN USING IT? NO. WELL, MAYBE ONE TIME. A COUPLE OF TIMES. YEAH, I USE IT A LOT. ALL QUACK HEY, KID! GO GET ME A CORN DOG, WILL YOU? (YELPS) WHAT'S YOUR NAME? (QUACKS LOUDLY) THAT'S A STUPID NAME. STUTTERS: THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! INTERESTING. BANG! CAPTIONS BY JESSICA BOELL. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2015