(DISTANT THUNDER RUMBLES) (ANIMAL BELLOWS) (GLASSES CLINK) (AMERICAN ACCENT) What is that? It's that famous picture of the monster. But it's fake. How do you know it's fake? It looks real. (SCOTTISH ACCENT) Oh, it's fake alright. Of course it's fake. Everyone knows that. Wait now, son. There's more to that photo than meets the eye. Oh, really? Well, if you'd like to know the real truth... Yeah, I wanna know. Come on. It'll be fun. Well, you have to go back to World War II. The Germans had captured the rest of Europe and were only 100 miles or so from these shores. 'And you need to know about a young lad called Angus MacMorrow.' 'The wee lad was drawn to water, but deathly afraid of it at the same time.' (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SEAGULLS CAW) (CHILDREN LAUGHING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (YELLS) (CHILDREN LAUGHING) (CRIES MUFFLED BY WATER) (WAVES LAPPING) (MAN) 'You know something, Angus?' 'The tide pool is a very strange, enchanted place.' Och, see these wee beauties? Now, they are full of luck. Magic. No? Aye, Angus. 'You'd best believe it.' 'Can I keep it, Daddy?' Aye. But don't tell your mummy. She believes things should stay where they are. (WOMAN) Angus! Angus! Angus MacMorrow, what in heaven's name...? Sorry. I'm coming. Indeed you are. I thought you'd drowned. You didn't even get wet. (KNIFE BEING SHARPENED) That piece, please. Thank you. Cheerio. They say it's going to rain, Mrs MacMorrow. You might be right, Mr McCowan. Remind me to tell Clyde to move the cattle to the lower field. I'll just put my pail in the workshop. Well, be quick. You have to help with the tea. (MAN MUTTERS) Clyde? Aye. Can we move the cattle down to the lower field? Oh, aye. I've got nothing better to do(!) Mummy, look what I've got! Where did you get that? Every volunteer got four oranges today. I haven't had an orange in Lord knows how long. How was the shore? Did Angus have fun? Angus? Fun? (LAUGHS QUIETLY) (FAINTLY) Angus! Come in now! Help with the tea! (DOOR CLOSES) (FAINT THUDDING) (THUNDER CRASHES / WIRELESS ON) (CHURCHILL) "All the Malay peninsula has been overrun." "We are struggling hard in the Libyan desert, where perhaps another serious battle..." (WIND RATTLES WINDOWS) (THUNDER) (WHOOSHING SOUND) "So far, we have not failed." "We shall not fail now." (THUNDER) (DOOR BANGING) (WHOOSHING) (DOOR BANGS) (CHIRPING) (THUNDER CRASHES) (THUNDER) (DOOR OPENS) (THUNDER) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SCREECH) (GASPS) (CLATTERING / SHRIEKS) (GASPS) (CLATTERING / SQUEAKING) (WHISTLING SOUND) (GLASS CRUNCHES) (CROAKING / CLATTERING) (SQUEAKING) (THUNDER) (THUNDER) (THUNDER / CLATTERING) (BIRD COOS / SCAMPERING) (THUNDER / SCAMPERING) (WIND RISES / THUNDER) (GASPS) (RAIN PATTERING ON ROOF) (THUNDER) (GASPS / THUNDER) (CROAKING) (THUNDER) (CHEEPING) Jings! (SNORTS AND SNUFFLES) It's alright. There, there. (SQUEALS) (THUNDER) (SQUEALS) (MUSIC ON WIRELESS) (SNORTS AND SNUFFLES) Here you go. Come on. That's it. Come on. Come on... That's it. (CROAKS) Alright, then. (WHINES) That's a good boy. (PURRS) It's alright. Oh, no. (WHIMPERS) (WHIMPERS) There you are. It's alright. I'll take care of you. (FAINTLY) Angus! (GASPS) Angus! Angus, it's bedtime! How many times must I call you? (WHINES) How many times must I call you? (WHINES) (RUMBLING) (ROARING) Crikey. (VEHICLE HORNS / LOUD VOICES) What is it? Maybe Daddy's with them. Do you know anything about this? No. They've got to be here for a reason. I don't know. Excuse me. Sir? Ah, good morning, madam. Captain Thomas Hamilton, 12 Medium Regiment, Royal Artillery. Are we all set? The head housekeeper, Mrs MacMorrow, is making all the arrangements. She is? Yes. Is she around? I'm Anne MacMorrow. Oh, I beg your pardon. Clearly, HQ have failed to notify you. My troop is to be billeted here. We've... I've hardly any staff. When Lord Killen went off to the RAF, only a few of us stayed on here. We won't expect afternoon tea. Only the officers will be billeted inside the house. The rest of my men will camp outside. Well, I... I'm afraid I would need Lord Killen's permission. Of course. Wormsley! Yes, sir. From Lord Killen. We're friends, actually. At Oxford the same year. Oh, right. But I have to tell you, our cupboards are not exactly full these days. Not to worry. The War Office keeps us well supplied. And what's more, we have a number of keen hunters in our regiment. They are trained killers, after all. (BREATHES HEAVILY) Scotland is the front line in the war these days. Ah, good man. Nazi submarines are everywhere. Here we are. Splendid! Yes. Well, how lovely. Now, all this, you see, is for your own protection. Goldman? Well, we're... very grateful. Is this the German advance? Following the troop movements, eh? Don't you worry, son. We're ready for 'em. Now, you men, come with me. Can you put my desk over here? Kirstie,... Angus, run along. You don't want to distract our guests from their duties. Can you keep a secret? Isn't this exciting? Soldiers here in our home! Promise me you can keep a secret. What are you babbling about? Swear you won't tell Mummy. I'll not breathe a word. What is it? I don't know. (DOOR CLOSES) (SCRAPING) (GASPS) (CHEWING) Hey! Those are my daddy's boots! Let go! Bad boy! You cannae eat them! (COUGHS) But I suppose you are hungry. (GROWLS / ANGUS YELLS) What's that? Churchill! That's enough, Churchill! Who are you? Sgt Wallace Strunk, 12 Medium Regiment, first battery cook. (DOG BARKS) Churchill. Regiment mascot. (BARKS AND GROWLS) Unauthorised personnel. I just wanted a wee snack. Provisions dispensed only by orders in triplicate. You have paperwork? Then off you go. (BARKS) Who's Daddy's boy, then, eh? Good boy. Good Churchill. You still here? I take out the rubbish. On the double, then. Who's the best soldier in the regiment, eh? (DOG WHINES) It's my Churchill. Good boy. Give me a kiss. Give me another kiss. Hello! Where are you, boy? Where are you hiding? (SNUFFLING) (CRASH) (MUNCHING) You are a sneaky devil, aren't you, boy? If you ARE a boy. What'll we call you? Crusoe. Trapped on an island. Right then, Crusoe. Let's see what you are. No. No. There you are. Maybe you're a mammal. 'Where were you born, Daddy? 'I was born and brought up on the banks of Loch Morar.' 'People whispered about a beastie living in that very loch.' And always there've been tales of sightings of such a creature, sometimes at sea, but more often in a loch. Och, when I was a boy, how I longed to see that monster. When I was a boy... Terrible times, they were. Boys and girls, wives and mothers, all over the world left without the man of the house. They all went off to war. And many never came back. We're a tiny village in the wilds of Scotland, but 20 men we lost. But maybe I'm boring you with my story. No. No, please. Don't stop. OK. If you insist. Angus was just like every other wee boy. He wanted his daddy home again. 'But... he also had another problem.' (BURPS) Crusoe, you ate it all! Come out. You'll be sick. (SNAPS / GROWLS) (WHIMPERS) That's a good boy. I'm sorry for grabbing. (PURRS) You're all dried up. (YELPS) (WAILS) You'll like this. That's better, eh? (SQUEAKS) Look at that. Oh, yeah! Come on, now. Oh, another five-pounder. Oh, ho, ye beauty! Aye. That takes care of my lunch. Oh, aye. (PLANE ROARS) What are they doing on that hill? It's a secret mission. They're after submarines. If it's secret, how do you know about it? I have my ways, my contacts. Aye. Well, make contact with them oars, pull us over some more fish. Salute! Down. Map, sir? Perfect. It's an amazing view, sir. HMS Royal Oak was lost to a German U-boat, Scapa Flow, not 100 miles from this spot. 833 sailors lost. We're not here for the scenery, Wormsley. Yes, sir. Now, make no mistake. We are on the front line here. Now, I have studied the German advance. If they invade, they will come right through here. It's the deepest loch in Scotland, perfect for their troopships. They'll send submarines for reconnaissance. Won't the steel net stop them, sir? The submarine net will be down to permit passage by routine marine traffic... and to let their subs in. And then we will raise the net, and we will destroy them. (LAUGHS) I wish I could swim like you. I wish I wasn't so afraid. Stop! (CRASH) What in the hell do you think you're doing? You great muckle! Clyde, what's going on? Keep your hands off it! You're no' fit to touch it. Oh, no. I'd better go. Stay out of trouble. (SQUEALS) Look where you're going. Where did you learn to drive? The Dodgems? Know what the rear-vision mirror is for? You didn't see? It's to look where you're going. It was an accident, I assure you. Right, Clyde, that's enough. Lovely bit of meat there. (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GASPS) There he goes! (LAUGHTER) (DANCE BAND MUSIC) You see all those lorries going up and down the hill? You're late. And that is very hush-hush. Aye. It's a secret mission, that's what I hear. Top secret. I'll say one thing, Jimmy. If it's a secret, you'd be the last person to tell about it. (LAUGHTER) That's very cruel. Evenin'. Alright? What'll you have? Pint of McEwan's. Looks like rain. Yeah, it might. You're not from the village. Would you be with the artillery? (RAUCOUS VOICES) Here we are, lads! Our home away from home. Did you hear the Captain today? "We're on the front lines." Front line, my aunt! We're here cos his daddy got him put as far from danger as the War Office could find! You're the boys with the big gun up the loch. Indeed we are. Would that thing sink a submarine? With one shell. What are you having? Pint of heavy. I'll have a whisky. What you got? Re-cock. Fire! Re-cock. Fire! Re-cock... (SCAMPERING) Angus, we need to talk. Oh. Miss... Mrs MacMorrow? Who are you? Er, me name's... Lewis Mowbray. Oh, yes. The handyman. You're two days late in arriving. Yes, ma'am. I... I was... I... Well, you can start by cleaning this mess. You can pack up all these books and shells and charts and so forth. I... I want to empty this shop out. And, um, I think my son has an animal hidden in here somewhere. He's not allowed pets, so... Do you think you could manage that? Aye. And we'll have no drinking in our house, Mr Lewis. Yes, ma'am. Er, it's... It's Mowbray, ma'am. Yes. (BREATHES IN DEEPLY) (WATER SPLASHING IN BARREL) (GASPS) No... No! No, no! Stop! What are you doing? Why did you empty the barrel? Did you see anything fall out of it? Only water. What you looking for? Er... Nothing. You'd remember if you'd seen it. Well, I didn't see anything. Who are you? Mrs MacMorrow hired me to help her in the lodge. So, this is my workshop now. I don't want you coming in and out of it. This is my father's workshop! He's off fighting in the war! You can't just come in here - Lad! When your father returns, he can do what he wants. But for now, this shop is mine. And I want to be left alone! Am I clear? Have I made myself clear?! Crusoe! Crusoe, come out! Where are you hiding? (FAINTLY) Attention! Could I trouble you for a light? Thank you. Ah. Absolutely stunning countryside, isn't it? You from round here? From Dornoch. Hm. Captain Thomas Hamilton. Good to meet you. And yours? Mowbray. Lewis Mowbray. Hm. And you've, er, seen service, I presume? (FAINTLY) Crusoe, please come out! Come out, now! Well, have a good evening, Mowbray. Where are you? Where have you gone? Crusoe, where the devil are you? (CHIRPS, THEN WAILS) (SNAPS) (YELPS) (DOG GROWLS) (DOG GROWLS) (DOG BARKS) (WHIMPERS) (YELPS) (DOG BARKS) Sergeant Strunk! Bad dog, Churchill. Even if you're the Lord Chamberlain, I won't have my kitchen destroyed! Sorry, ma'am. I don't know what got into him. (DOG WHINES) (DOG WHINES) Hush your wheesht, ye daft dog! (KIRSTIE SHRIEKS) Crusoe, no! (SHRIEKS) Stop. Get back in there! No. It's horrible! He won't hurt you! You have to believe me. He won't hurt you! (SHRIEKS) What is it? I don't know, but it came from an egg. I tried to tell you. (QUACKS) Jings, Crusoe! You're as big as a prize pig. How did you grow so fast? (PURRS) I thought I'd lost you. He's very friendly. Aren't you, boy? Angus, Mummy will have a fit. Don't you dare tell her. Kirstie, please... He needs me. I'm his only friend. (MEWLS) I saved his life. The poor, wee thing. You won't tell? Swear. I don't swear, Angus MacMorrow. I'll not speak a word. You're a good sister, after all. Morning, ma'am. Lovely morning, miss. Morning. (KNOCK AT DOOR) Oh, God, I'm sorry. That's alright. Come in. Come in. You've done some very good work around the grounds, Mr Lewis. Thank you, ma'am. And it's Mowbray, ma'am. Oh, yes. Did you know the guest bathroom's been out of order for three days? No. I'll see to it immediately. Er... I have some clothes. My husband's. Well, you seem to be about the same size. Would you care for them? Won't he need them when he comes home? He's not coming home, Mr Mowbray. His ship was sunk at sea. He's... It's been almost a year. Oh. I'm sorry. Sorry. It's just, um... It's just that your son... had said that... Oh. Angus is a confused boy. Confused? Yes. I have a lot to do. Do you want them or not? Yes. Thank you. I... Thanks. (SNORTS) Did you have to turn him into a mummy? It was getting too loud. Somebody would've heard. (YELPS) Quiet, Crusoe! (KNOCK AT DOOR) Who's there? I'm here to fix the bathroom. We're using it! What? Both of you? But I thought it was out of order. (MEWLS) What's that noise? I have a cough! (COUGHS) (SNORTS) You got an animal in there? Better let me in or your mother will hear about this. (RATTLES DOORKNOB) No. Let me in! Listen, you two... I have to do my job. This bathroom has been out of order - (SQUEAKS) What is that?! He came from an egg. At the tide pool. His name's Crusoe. What in the name of... He's very friendly. (CHIRRUPS) (SHRIEKS) Whoa! Mary and Joseph! He almost died when he was born. Almost took my hand off. He thinks I'm his father. I wonder... Oh, wait, it just can't be. Can't be what? Well, it looks like a... (CHIRRUPS) Like a bloody water horse. A what? They're make-believe. A legend from the Celtic past. They're said to be the rarest of all creatures. There can be only one water horse in the world at a time. When the one grows old, it lays a single egg, and then it dies. Crusoe's a girl? No. No, lad, he's girl and boy both. The beast is both mum and dad to the egg. The old water horse dies before the egg hatches, so the new water horse is born an orphan. That's sad. It's an amazing thing though, isn't it? Angus! Kirstie! Don't tell her. She'd make us get rid of it. Angus! Will you help us, Mr Lewis? You're asking me to deceive your mother. Angus? Kirstie? What are you doing in there? I was helping Mr Lewis fix the pipes. And since when have pipes been an interest? Wait! It's a bad time to interrupt him. What? Plumbing is tricky. It's like surgery. One mistake could mean death. Mr Lewis found the problem. Oh... I can explain! He... (WATER GURGLES) Always been handy with the plumbing. He's a genius. And you helped, did you, Angus? Yes, I... I handed the tools. And you, Kirstie? No. I came to show Angus the Civil Assistance manual. It's getting a bit cramped in here, so off you go. A grand job, Angus. (RUMBLING) It's the pipes. It's the air locks bubbling through. You see? Angus was a great help. So you said. (RUMBLING / GURGLING) Oh, dear. Excuse me. That's, um... The doctor warned me not to eat haggis for breakfast. So it's something about the.... texture of the innards mixed in with the suet that I... I just can't... Thank you. You've explained that quite enough. (SHRIEKS) Shut your ugly gob. You bloody near got me sacked, you wee ingrate. (BURPS) Oh! Captain, we'll have that bathroom up and running by tonight. Wonderful Oh, would you allow me to organise a meal tomorrow evening as a token of our gratitude? Just the officers and yourself as guest of honour. Thank you very much. That'd be very nice. Excellent. Shall we say eight o'clock? Mr Lewis, what are we going to do? You need to get him out of the house straight away. But where can I put him? In the loch. No! I want Crusoe to stay! He's mine! But he can't spend his life in a toilet bowl. No, but he can stay with me. But whatever the devil he is... he's meant to swim and be free. The loch is loaded with salmon and there's room for him to move around. You want what's best for him, right? What's best for him is to be with me. Excuse me, sir. Mrs MacMorrow. Mrs MacMorrow, you look radiant. In Scotland we call that a fib, Captain. Let me introduce you. (DANCE MUSIC ON WIRELESS) I love to watch a man work. Go easy. Don't we deserve it, eh? Gentlemen. The King, the regiment,... ..and the lady of the house. (ALL) The King, the regiment, and the lady of the house. Well, technically speaking, I'm not actually the lady of the house, but, um, I suppose for tonight I'm happy to serve that role. (LAUGHTER) Thank you. Here you are. Look what I've got. Don't be greedy now. Angus! Come quickly. I've something funny to show you. I'll be back in a minute, Crusoe. You're not going to believe this. (DANCE MUSIC) You're a fine woman, Gracie. (HUMS ALONG WITH MUSIC) (GROWLS) (LAUGHS) (SNUFFLES AND WHINES) (GROWLS) (GROWLS) (LAUGHTER FROM DOWNSTAIRS) (SNIFFS, THEN WHINES HAPPILY) (LOUD DANCE MUSIC) Urgh. Gracie! Oh, my God. I don't know what came over me. Just a bit of fun. Where's the dog?! (GROWLING) (BARKS) (YELPS) (BARKS) (WHIMPERS) (YELPS) (YELPS) Oh, no... (YELPS) (DOG BARKS) Do you know why I take two pairs of trousers onto the golf course? Hm? In case I get a hole in one! (LAUGHTER) (YELPING) (SHRIEKS) (BARKS) Did you hear something? No, no. Maybe this old house has one or two ghosts, huh? Oh, I don't believe in such things, Captain. Come here, you bloody mongrel. (GLASS TINKLES) I'm sure I can hear something. Yes, I distinctly heard something. (BARKS) Crusoe, no! What's that now?! (ALL SHOUTING) Somebody control him! Come on, Crusoe. Get out of here! Angus, come right back here! (BARKING) Crusoe, come back! Mr Lewis, what in goodness sake?! Er, sorry, the name's Mowbray, ma'am What? Sorry, ma'am. The dog got loose and I was trying to catch him. Oh, I should say you failed at that! Yes, ma'am. You think it's funny, Mowbray? No, no. It's a very serious matter. You hold your tongue, man! You're not in your stately home now. I'm not taking your orders. That is quite enough. Go and collect Angus and take him to his room immediately. Yes, ma'am. (OWL HOOTS) (DOG GROWLS) (SIGHS) (SQUEALS HAPPILY) (SNORTING) Crusoe! Crusoe, come back. We're all going to get into trouble. Lewis, we've got to find Crusoe. He's gone. Yeah, I know. I'll find the wee devil. You go straight to your room. But, Lewis, he's - Off to bed. Or your mum'll have our hides. On you go. (COCKEREL CROWS) (DAWN CHORUS) Where are you, you wee, smelly beast? (SIGHS) (BURPS) (BURPS) Angus! Angus. Wake up. I found him. Can't we just put him back in the bathtub? No. No, I don't think so. Jings! Lewis, do you know anything more about water horses? I think it was... Aye, my Uncle Lachlan first told me about them. Many years ago there was a lost traveller and he's weeping bitter tears cos he cannae find his way home. And he'd given up hope. Then suddenly who should appear at the bank of the loch to this traveller but a sea spirit, a water horse. Now, the traveller, no fool is he, knows that the water horse is a creature of magic, one that could grow ten feet tall overnight. So, the traveller, he feeds the water horse, strokes it, flatters it with compliments and finally the traveller says, "Incidentally, water horse, my dear friend, I'm wondering, if you've no other pressing engagements, could I trouble you to carry me across the loch on your back, show me the way home?" Well, what happens? Does the water horse help him? I, um, don't remember. What? Does the water horse help him or doesn't he? Well, it was so long ago that I heard it. It... It either carries him across the loch or it drags him down to the bottom to his watery death. Not sure which. Here you go, your favourite snack. (WHINES) (WAILS) Angus, run now! Angus, run! Faster. No looking back! Ah, Mowbray. You're all wet, man. You been fishing? No. I went diving, to see all those submarines you're going to sink. You like to mock the war effort, do you? No. No, I don't. Our forces over there in Europe, on the front lines, they're doing a great job. I want you to stay away from young Angus, do you understand? I consider you a bad influence. Is that so? I don't know if you're a spy or a deserter or just simply a coward, Mowbray, but I'm gonna find out. Oh, I see. They took you away from the battlefront to hunt for deserters and cowards. Well, I'm neither. You can take your Sassenach attitude back to where you came from. You stay away from the boy. Do you understand? I'll have a bit of breakfast. Wait, wait... How does she feel? Oh, respectable. It's a nice one. Get the net. You've got a keeper, for sure. Oh, I'd say it's at least a five-pounder. (LAUGHS) (RUMBLING) (GASPS) Oh, my sainted mother! What on earth is it? It's a monster. It's a big fish, alright. No. It's a monster, a creature with horns! A devil! I said to stay off that drink in the morning. (REEL SPINS) Argh! It's a big fish, alright! Oh! Oh... Oh... It's gigantic! Oh, no! Cut the line! Mother of God, cut it! Are you mad? This is the biggest fish I've ever had on! I'm going to land it! Oh... Oh! (BOTH YELL) It's going to sink us! OK, OK. Cut the line before he drowns us! For God's sake, hurry up! Hurry up! (BOTH YELL) Did you see it? I saw it. Whatever it is. (SIGHS IN RELIEF) Sir. Now, young man, your mother has asked me to enlist you in service. You are completely aimless and we're going to give you some purpose. Make a soldier out of you, right? Right, right, left! Right, right... Come on, hurry up. War'll be over before you finish that spud. That's very good, Angus. Put your back into it, lad. (BIRD SQUAWKS) Left, right, left! Right, left! Left, right, left! (KETTLE WHISTLES) Keep peeling. I'll be back. (WAILS) Very good. Now, onto the next one. (SIGHS) I want this vehicle spotless, both inside and out. Right? You understand your orders? Yes. You're in the army now. We have a way of addressing officers. Yes, sir! Good man. Well, carry on. Now, Edwards, we need to lay down some... We need to ensure that these grounds are unaffected by our presence as much as possible... Ya wally! Right away, sir. Carry on. (SIGHS) Crusoe! Where are you? I'm sorry I've not been to see you for a while. I haven't been able to get away until now. Crusoe! Crusoe! Crusoe! Crusoe! Where are you? (WATER RIPPLES) (GURGLES) Crusoe? Holy mackerel. (NICKERS) Hello, boy. Careful. Don't tip me over. It's good to see you, boy. (PURRS) (YELPS) Wait! Don't go! Crusoe! (YELLS) (YELLS) Crusoe! This isn't so bad. It's fun, actually. (SNORTS) (YELLS) Crusoe! (MUFFLED CRIES) (NEIGHS) (GASPS) (YELLS) Crusoe! (MUFFLED CRIES) Whoa! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! (LAUGHS) (SNORTS) (GROWLS SOFTLY) (GROWLS) What is it, Churchill? (SNIFFS AND BARKS) Slow down, boy! Heel! (LAUGHS) Whoa! (YELPS) Shoo, shoo. Go away. Crusoe, go! Crusoe, go! Shoo! (LAUGHTER) I thought it was raining, but when I looked up, there he was. No! Big as a house. So then what happened? I held out my hand. "Now, Crusoe, you have to promise to greet me, not eat me." (LAUGHTER) Did he greet you or eat you? He ate me. (LAUGHTER) Yeah, that's why you're here(!) Like a sardine. (FAINT VOICES AND LAUGHTER) Ma'am? Did you...? Ma'am? Did you need something, ma'am? No, no, thank you. For what? For making them laugh. Haven't heard them laugh like that in a long time. Especially Angus. Oh, he's a good lad, ma'am. Yes, he is. I used to make him laugh like that. Maybe you should... try again. What? Well, just... give him a wee bit more of your time. Yes. Mr Mowbray... Please, call me Lewis. Where'd you get your scar? Shrapnel. Almost took my arm off. I was, um... I was a gunner on a torpedo boat. We were... We were dive-bombed by a German plane, and I was firing at it. Next thing, woke up in hospital. Is it still painful? Och, it's nothing. I'm lucky. Compared to what some people have to... It's a good thing I didn't lose the arm. I'd not be much of a handyman with one hand. (LAUGHS) I'd be a one-handyman, you know? Sorry. (LAUGHS) No. Um, I'm sorry. You will tell me if it's troubling you, won't you? Lieutenant. Yes, sir. We had any news on this Mowbray character yet? Yes, sir. I put my report on your desk yesterday, sir. Mowbray's as clean as a whistle, sir. County records show him born and raised in Dornoch, enlisted in the Royal Navy 1939. Unblemished war record. Injured in action, August 1940, and honourably discharged. He's something of a hero you might say, sir. Thank you, Wormsley. That'll be all. Yes, sir. (MUSIC AND LAUGHTER) The head on it. Oh! And a tail like a crocodile, only bigger! Wasn't it? You've been telling that story for a week. It changes every time. Scales or skin? Skin. What's your interest, Jock? Interest? Aye. This is front page news. The Aberdeen Argus readers will want to hear of it this. Not a word of this is to get out. But, Hughie, when the war's over, there could be tourists, excursions. This could put our Loch Ness on the map! I don't want it on the map. Just leave things the way they are. If there's a monster in Loch Ness, the world has a right to know. Mm-hm. (ALL) Aye. Well, it's a perfect day for it. This is awfully nice of you, Captain, but you don't have to. No, I want you and the children to see the important work we're doing. If it's a mammal, it can't stay underwater for six hours. Mammal, my arse! It's a monster. It can do what it wants. You just be ready. This photograph'll make us all rich. Aye, aye. Well, the first thing we did was to cut an access road all the way to the top of the hill. All the way up to the location. See? I know we've been an inconvenience for you since we've been here, but I think you'll be impressed by what I'm about to show you. Now this location, obviously, has been strategically chosen for the long-range views. Moray Firth in the east, Loch Lochy in the west. Now follow me. Now here she is, our pride and joy. Now... Before we fire up Victoria - that's what we call her - I need you three to remain here on the perimeter. And you might want to cover your ears. She packs a hell of a punch. Come on. Block your ears. Now... We will be firing down the loch. Let's see what sort of splash she makes. Right, men! Walker! The loch? No, he can't do that! Angus, what on earth? There's a creature down there, a water horse. He could get hurt. Move! What are you talking about? Stop this nonsense! No, Captain! Angus! No, you mustn't! The Captain says to remain here! Mother, listen! He hatched from an egg. I saved his life. That is enough! Mother, it's true! Angus is telling the truth. You have to believe him! No! Stop! Fire! Fire! Fire! (WAILS) (WAILS) Very good. What happened? Did they kill Crusoe? That can't be the end. No, no, no. But it was the beginning of the end. Poor Angus was beside himself for his creature. 'He got into terrible trouble.' Let me go! No! Stop! No! Don't! Control yourself, boy. Did I or did I not tell you to wait over there?! Angus, this is not the place for us. Can someone drive us home, please? Certainly. Er, Corbin. Yes, sir. Kirstie. Anne... The boy needs discipline, Anne. 'The Captain lost all respect in Anne's eyes that day.' Alright, Corbin. That creature'll never surface after that bombardment! Puddocks! Ya bloody pests! 'Aye.' And he blew a big hole in Jock's plans for fame and Jimmy's for fortune. More to the left. 'Jimmy McGarry was not to be lightly parted from a pound or a penny.' 'He had seen the monster and he was determined the rest of the world should see it too.' Get out of the picture! Aye, go! Off you go. (CAMERA FLASHES) Aye. (LAUGHS) We've got it. We're going to be rich. Rich! (CHUCKLES) You can come in now, ya daft buggers. 'Everyone had a tale to tell about the monster.' 'Everyone except poor Angus.' 'He was sent to bed at six every night for a month.' 'Even his goody two-shoes sister could not convince their mother of the truth.' 'And no one had laid sight of Crusoe... since the bombardment.' 'Until... that fateful night.' Blimey, that's it. What's it? The monster. That's just what I saw. If it's out there, I'll catch it. Let's go hunting, boys. Angus. Kirstie? This is Lewis's idea. If you tell Mummy I let you out, I'll deny it. Do you understand? Everyone's talking about seeing the beast. You have to get him to hide better or something. Crusoe! Crusoe! Come! Try again. Crusoe! Come! (WHISTLES) (ROARS) Crusoe! Easy, boy! It's me! (ROARS) Lewis, what's happened to him? He's gone wild, lad! No. You're wrong! (ROARS) You'll see. (SNARLS) Angus, be careful. (SNORTS) Easy, boy. I'm your friend. (EXPLOSION) No! (SHRIEKS) (ROARS) (ROARS) It was YOUR idea to put him in the wild. You said it would be best for him. I didn't know that they'd shoot at him. This is your fault! (BARKS FEROCIOUSLY) Will it work? Soft spot. Back of the neck. Consider it dead. (DOG SNUFFLES) (WHINES, THEN GROWLS) Did you shoot that plane down? What? The plane you were shooting at when you got hurt. It's not something I brag about. Why not? (BARKS) (GASPS) Crusoe... Angus! (BARKS) You hear that? It's Churchill! I think he's onto something. Good dog! It's that dog. He'll tell everyone where Crusoe is! (BARKS) Wormsley, over there. In that cove! I'll take her in. (BARKS) (BARKS) (GROWLS) Kill the engine! (ENGINE OFF) Where's he gone? Churchill? (THUNDER) Oi, Churchill! Maybe he's just chasing a rabbit or something. That's not it. (ROARS) Someone kill it! Kill it! (ROARS) Mayday! Mayday! We're on the loch. And we're under attack! (RADIO CRACKLES AND WHINES) Where is it? There it is, port side! (ROARS) Shoot it! Shoot it! Turn the boat around! Where is it? Where is it? (WAILS) Help me! Anne... Look, I, er... I don't wish to carry on like this. I'd like to apologise for my actions on the hill. No, we should apologise Angus should never have behaved in such an inappropriate fashion. Sir! I'd like to... Hm? Sir. We just had a call from the loch. We're under attack. What? We're under attack, sir. Right. Gunner, bring my Jeep round to the front. Yes, sir. Anne, you take the children into the cellar. Wormsley! Kirstie! Angus! Downstairs, now! Angus is... He's not here. What? He's gone down to the loch. Oh, my God. Come quickly. Hurry, downstairs. Go, go. This is not a drill! Clyde, bring the car round to the front of the house. Aye. Anne, it's too dangerous. He's my son. You try to stop me. (SNARLS) Go away from me! Go away. Go away from me! Oh, my God. Please. (SNARLS) No. No, please! Crusoe! Go the other way! Turn around! Please! Go. No. No! (YELLS) Crusoe! Stop! Put him down! Somebody help me! Crusoe! Stop! Crusoe! (COCKS GUN) No! (GUN CLICKS) Help me! Get off me! Crusoe! Help! (YELLS) (GROANS) Angus? Can you hear me? Come on, lad. Come on, son. Come on, Angus. Breathe. Come on. If you have any magic in you at all, use it on this lad. I'm begging you. Put the gunners on high alert. Understand? Any sign of an enemy vessel, fire at will! "But, sir -" No. You fire at will! Come on. Come on, lad. Come on, breathe, Angus! Come on. Get some Scottish air in those lungs! Stay with me, Angus. Stay with me, lad. Come on. Come on, lad, breathe. Come on. (SIGHS) Come on, lad. Come on. We should go now. You know something? This workshop is the place I'll miss the most. You look after it for me, eh? Mm-hm. Ah, and I'll bet you grow into these by the time I get back. Keep them well polished. Oi... We'll have none of that. You're the man of the house now. Need you to be strong and sure. Alright, Dad. Strong and sure. Aye. That's my boy. That's it. That's it. Good lad. That's it. Good boy. Crusoe? (WHINES) (NICKERS) That's a good water horse. (SNORTS) Captain! Oh, God. Captain Hamilton! Angus! He's alright. Angus, what happened? Sergeant! You must kill the monster! I was only trying to save Crusoe. Who's Crusoe? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. A sea monster? What are you talking about? I swear! It was just there! A sea monster? Are you saying this has all been about a sea monster? What is going on here? Has everyone gone mad?! A sea monster?! There is no monster. There's just you with your bloody gun! And you! Filling his head with tales of sea creatures and magic? There's no monster. And there's no magic. Mother... There's just... There's just this war. And death. And people acting insane. What's wrong with everyone? (THUNDER) (THUNDER) (SNIFFS AND GROWLS) Angus? (GROWLS) Yes, Mum. I tried to tell you. Yes, you did. His name's Crusoe. I raised him. Right out of an egg. Angus, be careful! It's alright. He's my friend. He's peaceful. Really. He's not peaceful at all, sir. The damn thing tried to eat me. (GROWLS SOFTLY) (BOMB WHISTLES AND SPLASHES DOWN) (SCREECHES) Crusoe! Get out of here! (SCREECHES) Crusoe! Come! (BOMB WHISTLES) Crusoe! Oh, my God. Crusoe! Come! (GROWLS) Good boy. Come on. Over here. No! Angus! Angus! Angus! (BOMB WHISTLES) (BOMBS WHISTLE AND EXPLODE) (SCREECHES) Faster, Crusoe! We have to get to the net! He's trying to get Crusoe out to sea! Victoria base, come in! (RADIO WHINES) Victoria base, come in! You have to stop them! All the radios are down! We have to get to the net! All ammunition up here! On the double! (BOMB WHISTLES) (SHRIEKS) You were in the Royal Navy, right, Mowbray? Aye, sir. Think you can handle this tub? (ENGINE STARTS) I see the channel. Now head to sea, boy. As fast as you can! I see something! The rain's too heavy to make it out clearly. It looks like a periscope! Good God! It is. A German sub! Prepare to fire! Fire! Go under, Crusoe. We have to go under! (MUFFLED CRIES) (ANNE SHRIEKS) (YELLS) There! Where? There! Can you see them? I can't see him. Situation report? One of our own torpedo boats is in pursuit of the target. They're on the run. Don't let them get out. Raise the nets. (ALL) Yeah! Faster, Crusoe! Go, Crusoe! Go! (SCREECHES) (NET CLANGS) (ROARS AND SNORTS) What are we going to do? Angus! Over here! Angus! Let him go! Come on, boy! Angus, let go! Let go, Angus! Let go! You're the best friend I've ever had. (NICKERS SOFTLY) I'll never forget you. (WAILS) No, Crusoe! You can't stay here! Go and hide in the loch! Crusoe, go! Don't you hear me, you bloody fool? Do as I say! Go! (WAILS) Come on! Come on, Angus. You're nearly there. Come on! Come on, lad. Now give me your hand. Give me your hand, boy. Come on. Get him in the boat. Good lad! Where is he? Where'd he go? (THUNDER / SHOUTING) There he is! He's gonna jump the net! It's too high! He'll never make it. (ROARS) (SHOUTS) (ROARS) (CHEERING) Go, Crusoe! You did it, Crusoe! Well done, boy! He'll not be coming back, will he? I think he's meant to be on his own, dear. Not Crusoe. I meant... ..Daddy. Oh. No, love. He'll not. (KIRSTIE) Look, Angus! Up here! You have to come quickly. Come on! Quickly! (ROARS) 'Some say the creature comes back from time to time looking for his friend.' Some claim to have seen it over the years. But the boy never saw it again. That's a wonderful story. Aye. And all true. Every word of it. Thank you, er...? Angus. Angus MacMorrow is the name. He was so sweet. I know it's true. Great story but - You're so cynical! William? William? William! William! (CRACKLING) # Oh, it's hard to be a boy when # All the men have lost their joy # And they can't find the ones they left behind # Harder still to think of being a man # In this world of no lessons or love # It's only war that men be thinking of # Should you stay or should you come down with me? # Is that the question you're asking of me? # And do you think that you can take the answer as it is? # You have to wear life well # Come down with me # Come down when you need me # But for now I want you to be happy # Sometimes life does things to you # That will hurt you and confuse you # But when you're left behind # You're sure to find # I am with you though I can't come with you # I am in you and I'm always part of you # And all you'll ever have to do # To bring me to you # Is come down with me # Come down when you need me # But for now I want you to be happy # So you must go back home # That's where you belong # You must go back home # You must go back home # That's where you belong # You must go back home # And I can't come along IMS Subtitles www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2015