4 ("CHIM CHIM CHER-EE" MELODY PLAYING) WIND'S IN THE EAST, MIST COMING IN, LIKE SOMETHING IS BREWING, ABOUT TO BEGIN. CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON WHAT LIES IN STORE, BUT I FEEL WHAT'S TO HAPPEN ALL HAPPENED BEFORE. (DOORBELL RINGS) (RING) (RING) MR. RUSSELL. MRS. TRAVERS. LIKE PINK CLOUDS ON STICKS. EXCUSE ME? THE CHERRY BLOSSOM. I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. THE CAR SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW. MAY I USE THE PHONE? I CANCELLED IT. YOU... WHAT? PAMELA? "MRS. TRAVERS." MRS. TRAVERS, WHY WOULD YOU CANCEL THE CAR? I SHAN'T BE GOING. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS. I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. YOU MADE AN AGREEMENT. YOU UNDERSTAND? A VERBAL AGREEMENT. WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME AS IF I WERE A NEONATE? HE'S GOING TO... WHAT? WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO? SUE? HE'S VERY WELCOME TO EVERY PENNY I DON'T POSSESS. LOOK... I'VE REPRESENTED YOU FOR A LONG TIME. I LIKE TO THINK OF YOU AS A FRIEND. (SCOFFS) YES, I LIKE TO THINK IT. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW IT'S NOT RECIPROCATED. I WOULD NEVER SUGGEST ANYTHING THAT WOULD CAUSE YOU ANGUISH, BUT THERE'S NO MORE MONEY, PAMELA. "MRS. TRAVERS." SIMPLY NO MORE. SALES HAVE DRIED UP, NO MORE ROYALTIES. YOU REFUSE TO WRITE FURTHER BOOKS, SO... DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I... I'M FRIGHTENED YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. I KNOW WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO TO HER. SHE'LL BE CAVORTING AND TWINKLING, AND CAREENING TOWARDS A HAPPY ENDING LIKE A KAMIKAZE! WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THIS DEAL FOR 20 YEARS. HE'S AGREED TO BOTH YOUR STIPULATIONS. NO ANIMATION, SCRIPT APPROVAL. USE HER TO PAY MY BILLS? IF I BELIEVED IN A HELL, I'D BE SITTING IN ITS WAITING ROOM. SCRIPT APPROVAL! HE'S NEVER GRANTED ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO! (SIGHS) WHERE'S POLLY? I FIRED HER. IT'S JUST AS WELL. IT SEEMS I CAN'T AFFORD HER ANYMORE, ANYWAY. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS TO ME. POLLY? OF COURSE NOT POLLY! SAKE! LOS ANGELES. YOU ONLY HAVE TO GO AND WORK THERE FOR TWO WEEKS. COLLABORATE. YOU HAVEN'T SIGNED OVER THE RIGHTS YET. YET? YOU MUST MAKE THIS WORK, MRS. TRAVERS. OH, I MUST, MUST I? YOU NEED THE MONEY! - I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GO BROKE. - STOP SAYING MONEY! IT'S A FILTHY, DISGUSTING WORD! I'M PICKING UP THE PHONE NOW, MRS. TRAVERS. I HAVE FINAL SAY. YOU DO. I HAVE FINAL SAY. - AND IF I DON'T LIKE WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO HER... -THEN YOU DON'T SIGN THE PAPERS. HE CAN'T MAKE THE FILM UNLESS YOU GRANT THE RIGHTS. IT'S AN EXPLORATORY TRIP. WHAT DO YOU SAY? I... I WANT TO KEEP MY HOUSE. AHEM. EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. HAVE YOU SEEN MY DAUGHTER? I WAS QUITE SURE I LEFT HER AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE. HER NAME IS HELEN. NO, UH, "SHIRLEY." UH, NO, UM... HUH. GOOD LORD, I'VE QUITE FORGOTTEN. COULD IT BE "PRUNELLA"? NO. "PAMELA?" NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M SURE I HAVE A SPECIAL NAME FOR HER. "GINTY!" WHY, THANK YOU, MA'AM! "GINTY" IT IS, OF COURSE. YEAH. NOW, HAVE YOU SEEN HER? IT'S ME! (GIGGLES) GOSH, SO IT IS. THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT. OH, I WAS POSITIVE I WAS GOING TO BE BEHEADED FOR LOSING HER HIGHNESS, THE ROYAL PRINCESS GINTY MCFEATHERFLUFFY! DON'T LOSE ME. NEVER. I PROMISE. I'LL NEVER LOSE YOU. YOU READY? ARE YOU SURE? ALL RIGHT, THE ADVENTURE'S ABOUT TO BEGIN. COME ON. (BELLS RINGING) UP! THERE WE GO. (NEIGHING) CAN I HELP YOU? I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE, THANK YOU. THEY'VE USED ALL THE SPACE. SO GREEDY. I'LL TAKE IT, MADAM. I CAN PUT IT UP IN FRONT. I DON'T WANT IT UP IN FRONT. I WOULD LIKE IT HERE IN THE CORRESPONDING HOLDING AREA FOR MY ASSIGNED SEAT. THE FLIGHT'S CLOSING IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS, MADAM. I'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT. AH, AH, AH! YOU CAN MOVE MINE INSTEAD. IT'S THE GREY ONE. THANK YOU. WILL THE CHILD BE A NUISANCE? IT'S AN 11-HOUR FLIGHT. I DON'T... JOLLY GOOD. I HOPE WE CRASH. (CAR HORN HONKING) WHERE'S THE CARRIAGE? CARRIAGE? WHO NEEDS A CARRIAGE? BUT, DARLING, WE HAVE SO MANY... A LEISURELY STROLL IS A GIFT, DARLING! IT'S A GIFT! NOW, BIDDY, ARE YOU STAYING? MMM-MMM. YOU'RE COMING WITH US? MMM-HMM. EXCELLENT! ALL RIGHT. (SIGHS) THANK YOU SO MUCH. FOR EVERYTHING. THANK YOU, MISS. ALL RIGHT. HURRY UP, EVERYONE. WE MUSTN'T BE LATE FOR THE TRAIN. ALL ABOARD! EVERYBODY READY? YES. SEE YOU SOON, KATIE NANNA. TAKE CARE, LOVE. ALL RIGHT. EVERYBODY READY? WALKING BUS! LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT... MISS! MISS! OH. THANK YOU. LEFT! LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT. AND ONE, TWO, THREE. NEW TOWN, NEW JOB, NEW BANK, NEW LIFE! COME ON, MY LITTLE DUCKLINGS! RIGHT, LEFT! COME ON! COME ALONG! COME ALONG! (CAR HORN HONKS) HALT! "ALLORA." GINTY. COME ON, MY LOVE. (TRAIN WHISTLE) (DING) MMM. CAPTAIN: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE BEGINNING OUR DESCENT INTO LOS ANGELES. OH, HE DOES, DOES HE? TRAVERS? P.L. TRAVERS? "MRS." OK. WELL, WELCOME, MRS. P.L. TRAVERS. WELCOME TO THE CITY OF ANGELS. LET ME TAKE THOSE FOR YOU. I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE... COME. OH, NEVER MIND. THE SUN CAME OUT TO SAY HELLO JUST TO YOU. DON'T BE PREPOSTEROUS. IT SMELLS, LIKE... JASMINE. CHLORINE. AND SWEAT. UGH! IT'S DREADFUL. UGH! ABSURD. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT BACK THERE, MRS. P.L. TRAVERS? IT'S NOT "MRS. P.L." IT'S JUST "MRS." UGH. IT'S SO HOT. OH. NO PROBLEMO! NO PROBLEMO. WE GOT A BRAND NEW AIR CONDITIONING SYSTEM, MRS. YEAH. JUST ABOUT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN GOOD OLD ENG-ER-LAND AGAIN! I TELL YOU, THE THINGS THEY CAN PUT IN CARS THESE DAYS. GOSH ALMIGHT... NO PROBLEMO. AND HERE WE ARE, MA'AM. THANK YOU. MA'AM? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO UNPACK FOR YOU, MA'AM? YOUNG MAN, IF IT IS YOUR AMBITION TO HANDLE LADIES' GARMENTS, MAY I SUGGEST YOU TAKE EMPLOYMENT IN A LAUNDERETTE. ODD. ODD, ODD. OH, DEAR. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. WHAT ON EARTH IS... HOW... WHAT ON... NO, NO, NO. THIS WILL NEVER DO. ABSOLUTELY NO PEARS. NO PEARS. (ALL BREATHING HEAVILY) A PALACE. COMPLETE WITH MIGHTY STEED. AND CHICKENS. OH, MY. OH, WE'LL MAKE BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES HERE, MY ANGEL. ALL RIGHT? MMM. GIRLS. COME ON. IN THIS HOUSE, YOU GET TO SHARE A ROOM! (GIRLS GIGGLING) GOOD RIDDANCE. NOW... I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS. HOW OLD DO THEY THINK I AM? FIVE YEARS OLD, OR SOMETHING. POOR A.A. MILNE. GHASTLY BUSINESS. DUCK, DOG, OUT. (EXHALES) MUCH BETTER. AND YOU CAN STAY THERE UNTIL YOU LEARN THE ART OF SUBTLETY. OH! LASSIE! AH! THERE YOU ARE. (CHUCKLES) DON'T WORRY. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR TELEVISION SET. THIS IS A PIXIE BELL. THE SOUND IS MUCH TOO HIGH FOR HUMAN EARS. OH! THERE YOU ARE, TINK. HEY! HEY! GET THAT STUFF OFF OF ME! YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH OUR STORY OF PETER PAN, YOU KNOW A LITTLE SPRINKLING OF TINKER BELL'S FAIRY DUST CAN MAKE YOU FLY. HUH. WHERE ARE YOU GOING, TINK? HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING? OFF! THAT'S HOW WE DEAL WITH YOU. 5 GOOD MORNING, MRS. IT'S NOT "MRS." IT'S...NEVER MIND. WE'RE JUST NOT GOING TO GET IT RIGHT, ARE WE? WHAT'S THAT? WILL IT BE THE SAME DRIVER EVERY DAY? YES, MA'AM. I AM ALL YOURS. HEY, SUN CAME OUT AGAIN. YOU SAY IT AS IF YOU'RE SURPRISED. AS IF THE SUN WERE PARTICULAR ABOUT FOR WHOM IT APPEARS. IT SEEMS THAT YOU THINK THAT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS MIRACULOUS DAWNING EVERY DAY. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, IT'S CALIFORNIA. CERTAINLY IS. I'D SO MUCH RATHER BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE RAIN. OH, THAT'S SAD. SAD IS ENTIRELY THE WRONG EMOTION. I SHAN'T BOTHER EXPLAINING WHY. IT WOULD JUST...ZIP! HUH. OKEY-DOKEY. THE RAIN BRINGS LIFE. SO DOES THE SUN. BE QUIET. YES, MA'AM. I'LL GET THAT, SIR. GOT IT? YES, SIR. GOOD MORNING, PAMELA. IT IS SO DISCOMFITING TO HEAR A PERFECT STRANGER USE MY FIRST NAME. "MRS. TRAVERS," PLEASE. I DO APOLOGIZE, MRS. TRAVERS. I'M DON DAGRADI, THE SCRIPTWRITER. CO-SCRIPTWRITER. I SHALL CERTAINLY BE HAVING MY SAY, MR. DIGRADI. "DAGRADI." UH...WONDERFUL, I WELCOME YOUR INPUT. IF, INDEED, WE EVER SIGN OFF ON A SCRIPT. RIGHT. UM... THIS IS THE REST OF YOUR TEAM. THIS IS DICK AND BOB SHERMAN, MUSIC AND LYRICS. BOYS, THE ONE AND ONLY MRS. P.L. TRAVERS. THE CREATOR OF OUR BELOVED MARY. POPPINS. WHO ELSE? "MARY POPPINS." NEVER, EVER JUST "MARY." IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. HELLO. I FEAR WE SHAN'T BE ACQUAINTED FOR VERY LONG. WHY IS THAT? BECAUSE THESE BOOKS SIMPLY DO NOT LEND THEMSELVES TO CHIRPING AND PRANCING. NO, IT'S CERTAINLY NOT A MUSICAL. NOW, WHERE IS MR. DISNEY? I SHOULD SO MUCH LIKE TO GET THIS STARTED AND FINISHED AS BRISKLY AS IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. PERHAPS SOMEONE COULD POINT ME IN HIS DIRECTION. I'D BE SO GRATEFUL. THANK YOU. WE WERE HOPING TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE TOUR OF THE STUDIO. NO, THANK YOU. WALT JUST WANTED TO SHOW THE PLACE OFF. NO ONE LIKES A SHOW-OFF. MRS. TRAVERS, IT'S QUITE A LONG WAY. NOT A MUSICAL? I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF WALKING. GOOD MORNING. - GOOD MORNING, DOLLY. - COULD YOU LET MR. DISNEY KNOW I'VE ARRIVED, PLEASE? ABSOLUTELY. PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT. OH, NO, THERE'S NO NEED. HE'LL BE JUST A MOMENT, MRS. TRAVERS. WHY DON'T WE SIT? SHE'S HERE. UH... A WORD OF ADVICE, MRS. TRAVERS, IF I MAY. YOU MAY. WHETHER I HEED IT OR NOT WILL BE ANOTHER MATTER ENTIRELY. WOW. UH, IT'S JUST THAT HE CAN'T STAND BEING CALLED "MR. DISNEY." WE'RE ALL ON A FIRST-NAME BASIS HERE. HMM. (WHEEZING) WELL, HERE YOU ARE AT LAST. OH, MY DEAR GAL, YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW EXCITED I AM TO FINALLY MEET YOU. IT'S AN HONOUR, MR. DISNEY. OH, "WALT." NOW, YOU GOTTA CALL ME WALT. MR. DISNEY WAS MY OLD MAN, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, DON? ABSOLUTELY, WALT. COME HERE. COME HERE. TOMMIE. SAY HELLO TO THE ONE AND ONLY PAMELA TRAVERS. IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. P.L. TRAVERS, RIGHT HERE IN MY OFFICE. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, ALMOST 20 OF THEM? MMM. YES. 20 LONG YEARS. I WISH YOU COULD HAVE SEEN ME THEN, PAM. LEAN AS A WHIPPET, I WAS. A RACEHORSE. WELL, ANYWAY. NOW, HERE YOU ARE, AND LOOK AT YOU. I COULD JUST EAT YOU UP. UH...THAT WOULDN'T BE APPROPRIATE. YOU KNOW WHAT... WHEN DIANE, HERE, WAS ABOUT, UH, SEVEN YEARS OLD-- OH, CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK? A COFFEE, OR... A POT OF TEA WOULD BE MOST WELCOME. ANYWAY, SHE WAS ABOUT SEVEN YEARS OLD WHEN I WAS WALKING PAST HER ROOM AND SHE WAS ON HER BED READING TO HER SISTER, SHARON, AND THOSE GIRLS, THEY WERE JUST GIGGLING THEIR LITTLE SOCKS OFF. TOMMIE? YES? A HOT TEA FOR PAMELA AND ME. RIGHT AWAY, WALT. AH, YOU'RE A DOLL. SHE IS. SHE'S A DOLL. ANYWAYS, I ASKED THEM, I SAID, "GIRLS, WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" AND DIANE SAID TO ME, "WHY, DADDY, MARY POPPINS." (CHUCKLES) I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A MARY POPPINS WAS. BUT THEN SHE GAVE ME ONE OF YOUR BOOKS, AND, OH, BY GOSH, MY IMAGINATION CAUGHT ON FIRE. ABSOLUTELY ON FIRE. AND THOSE EMBERS HAVE BURNED EVER SINCE, AS YOU KNOW. I DO. YES. 20 YEARS. SO YOU KEEP SAYING. PAM, A MAN CANNOT BREAK A PROMISE HE'S MADE TO HIS KIDS. NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR HIM TO MAKE IT COME TRUE. NOW, YOU'VE KEPT ME DANGLING ALL THIS TIME. BUT NOW, I GOTCHA. "GOTCHA," INDEED. MR. DISNEY, IF YOU HAVE "DANGLED," IT IS AT THE END OF A ROPE YOU HAVE FASHIONED FOR YOURSELF. I WAS PERFECTLY CLEAR WHEN YOU APPROACHED ME 20 YEARS AGO THAT SHE WASN'T FOR SALE. AND I WAS CLEAR AGAIN WHEN YOU APPROACHED ME THE FOLLOWING YEAR AND CLEAR AGAIN WHEN YOU APPROACHED ME EVERY ANNUM FOR THE SUBSEQUENT 18 YEARS, AND QUITE HONESTLY, I FEEL CORRALLED. OH, NOW, PAM, THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS MAKE YOU FEEL AS THOUGH... WOULD YOU MIND? MY NAME IS "MRS. TRAVERS." I DO... SEE, I PROMISED THEM, PAM. NOW, THAT'S A FACT. YOU GOT KIDS? NO. WELL, NOT PRECISELY. I HAVE NEVER, AND ABSOLUTELY NEVER, GONE BACK ON A PROMISE I MADE TO EITHER ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS. NOW, THAT'S WHAT BEING "DADDY" IS ALL ABOUT, RIGHT? IS IT? SEE, OUR MOTION PICTURE IS NOT JUST GONNA MAKE MY KIDS HAPPY. IT'S GONNA MAKE ALL KIDS HAPPY. ADULTS, TOO. BECAUSE MY GUYS ARE GONNA DO THINGS WITH IT THAT ARE REVOLUTIONARY, PAM. REVOLUTIONARY! YOUR MARY POPPINS IS GONNA LITERALLY FLY OFF THE PAGES OF YOUR BOOKS. OH. THANK YOU, TOMMIE. THIS MAGICAL WOMAN WHO HAS ONLY LIVED INSIDE YOUR HEAD, WELL, YOU ARE GONNA BE ABLE TO MEET HER, SPEAK TO HER. YOU'RE GONNA HEAR HER SING. NOW, THE SINGING, I'M VERY GLAD YOU'VE COME TO THAT. OH! MILK IN FIRST, PLEASE. THEN THE TEA. AND A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR. YOU DON'T INTEND FOR THIS FILM TO BE A MUSICAL? I ABSOLUTELY DO. NO. NO? NO. MR. DISNEY, MARY POPPINS DOES NOT SING. YES, SHE DOES. WHEN? IN YOUR BOOKS. NO, THOSE AREN'T SONGS. THEY'RE RECITATIONS. SHE'S NOT A GIDDY WOMAN. SHE'S DOESN'T JIG ABOUT. I MEAN, SINGING IS FRIVOLOUS. IT'S WHOLLY UNNECESSARY IN A GOVERNESS, AN EDUCATRESS. NO, IT WOULD SIMPLY RUIN IT. I WON'T HAVE HER TURNED INTO ONE OF YOUR SILLY CARTOONS. NOW, PAM... AHEM. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THE LAST THING I WOULD DO, THE VERY LAST THING, IS TARNISH A STORY I HAVE CHERISHED. NOW, THE PAGES OF YOUR BOOKS ARE WORN TO TISSUE. THEY ARE DOG-EARED AND FALLING OUT, BECAUSE I HAVE PORED OVER THEM, GRIPPED AND TORMENTED. BECAUSE I LOVE HER, PAM. I LOVE MARY POPPINS. AND YOU, YOU HAVE GOT TO SHARE HER WITH ME. AND NOTHING HAPPENS WITHOUT YOUR SAY-SO. QUITE RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE IN THE RIGHTS AGREEMENT THAT WAS APPROVED BY YOUR AGENT. UH...DERMOT? "DIARMUID." DI... A LIVE-ACTION FILM. NO ANIMATION. LIVE-ACTION. HERE'S A PEN. I'D LIKE THIS ON TAPE. ON TAPE? MMM. YOUR PROMISE, AND ALL THE CONVERSATIONS WE HAVE HERE, ON TAPE. UH-HUH. THERE YOU ARE. MARY POPPINS AND THE BANKS, THEY ARE FAMILY TO ME. I UNDERSTAND THAT. I DO. WELL, THEN. SHALL WE BEGIN? (CHUCKLES) LET'S MAKE SOMETHING WONDERFUL. WELL, LET'S SEE IF THAT'S AT ALL POSSIBLE. WHOA. DAMN. 5 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) TESTING. ONE, TWO, THREE. TESTING. ONE, TWO. WHAT IS ALL THIS JOLLIFICATION? WE'VE GOT A WHOLE SCRIPT TO GET THROUGH. IT'S GONNA BE A LONG DAY, MRS. T. MRS. TRAVERS. YOU COULD SAVE A STARVING COUNTRY WITH BENEFACTION FROM THIS ROOM ALONE. IT'S JUST, UGH, SO VULGAR. DID YOU TURN ON THE THING? UH... YES. NOW, LET US BEGIN. MMM. SO... "SCENE 1." "EXTERIOR, CHERRY TREE LANE..." "EXT"? WHAT'S "EXT"? "EXTERIOR." IT MEANS THE SCENE TAKES PLACE OUTSIDE. OH, I SEE. IT IS AN ABBREVIATION. I'M SO SORRY, MR. DAGRADI, DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU SHOULD BE... OH. PLEASE, BE MY GUEST, MRS. TRAVERS. I DO THINK IT'S BEST. I HAVE THE MOST PRACTICE. READINGS OF MY BOOKS, YOU KNOW? ABSOLUTELY. ANYWAY. "SCENE ONE. EXTERIOR." "17 CHERRY TREE LANE, LONDON. DAY." YES, THAT'S GOOD. THAT CAN STAY. THAT'S JUST THE SCENE HEADING. ALTHOUGH, I DO THINK WE SHOULD SAY "NUMBER 17," INSTEAD OF JUST "17." IT'S PROPER, YES? BOTH: NO ONE'S GONNA SEE IT. I WILL SEE IT. WRITE IT DOWN. WRITE IT DOWN. CHOP, CHOP. IS THAT ON THE TAPE? HAVE WE GOT THAT? UH...YES. VERY GOOD. ONWARDS. I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT. IS THAT A JOKE? EXCUSE ME? DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A COMEDIENNE? I'M SORRY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WELL, IT'S... UNBELIEVABLE. IN THE WAY. DOLLY, I THINK WE'RE ALL SET WITH FOOD. THANK YOU. "SCENE ONE. EXTERIOR." "NUMBER 17, CHERRY TREE LANE, LONDON. DAY." "BERT, A ONE-MAN..." OH, THE RUMOUR IS THAT THIS IS TO BE YOUR MR. VAN DYKE. IS THAT RIGHT? WE DO HOPE SO. WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT. IT'S A HORRID IDEA. DICK IS ONE OF THE GREATS. DICK VAN DYKE? YES. (SCOFFS) ROBERT, MY DEAR. OLIVIER IS ONE OF THE GREATS. BURTON, GUINNESS, GREATS WITHOUT QUESTION. I CAN ASSURE... I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT DICK VAN DYKE IS NOT. DICK VAN DYKE. UH, "BERT, A ONE-MAN BAND, PLAYS TO A SMALL GATHERING OUTSIDE THE GATES TO THE PARK." "BERT...YES, BERT SAYS--" YOU CAN DO BERT. THANK YOU. GO ON. GUYS, SHALL WE... GIVE IT A WHIRL? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? "ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTS, "COMICAL POEM, "SUITABLE FOR THE OCCASION. "EXTEMPORIZED AND THOUGHT UP BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO." # ROOM HERE FOR EVERYONE, GATHER AROUND # THE CONSTABLE'S RESPONSTABLE # NOW, HOW DOES THAT SOUND? # NO, NO, NO! NO, NO, NO! "RESPONSTABLE" IS NOT A WORD. WE MADE IT UP. WELL, UN-MAKE IT UP. "RESPONSTABLE." THERE'S MY GIRL. (GRUNTING) HERE'S A GOOD BOY. COME ON. THAT'S IT, ALBERT, GIVE GINTY A SMOOCH. THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. OH. (EXHALES) POOR OLD ALBERT. HE'S YOUR SECRET UNCLE, YOU KNOW. BUT A MISERABLE, HORRID WITCH TURNED HIM INTO A NAG. WHY DID SHE DO THAT? SHE SAID SHE HATED THE SOUND OF HIS LAUGH. POOR UNCLE ALBERT. YEAH. HOW CAN WE FIX HIM? WE HAVE TO TEACH THE WITCH TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. HOW? WELL, I'M NOT QUITE SURE, DARLING. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO FLY, GINTY? COME ON. ALBERT, YOU OLD NAG. COME HERE. UP YOU COME. THREE, TWO, ONE. DO YOU TRUST ME? YES. HYAH! NOBODY WALKS. A LEISURELY STROLL IS A GIFT. BEAUTIFUL, AIN'T IT? IF YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF THING. I DO. WE DO FIND IT'S HELPFUL TO HAVE A VISUAL. PLUS, IT'S FUN. OH, NO, NO. NO, NO. GOODNESS ME, NO. NO? THE BANKS' HOUSE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THAT. NO, NO. MMM-MM. MY HOUSE IS A TERRACED HOUSE WITH A PINK DOOR, WHITE-BRICKED, WITH A CRACK IN THE GABLE. OK, WE GET IT. THE HOUSE IS NOT WHAT YOU PICTURED. THE WINDOWS ARE LEAD-LINED AND THE FLOWER BOXES GROW PINK NASTURTIUMS TO GO WITH THE PINK DOOR. HAVE WE GOT THAT? OH, DEAR, IT'S ALL A BIG MISTAKE. IT'S ALL WRONG. IT'S ALL WRONG? WELL, IT'S TOO GRAND! IT'S-- THE BANKS ARE NORMAL, EVERYDAY SORT OF PEOPLE, AND THIS ISN'T NORMAL. THIS ISN'T "EVERYDAY." THEY'RE NOT ARISTOCRATS. OK. OH. DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT? I'M AFRAID SO. WHY IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU MADE MRS. BANKS A SILLY SUFFRAGETTE? I WONDER IF EMMELINE P. WOULD AGREE WITH THAT ADJECTIVE. QUITE POSSIBLY, LOOKING BACK. IT DOES SEEM STRANGE THAT MRS. BANKS ALLOWS HER KIDS TO SPEND ALL OF THEIR TIME WITH THE NANNY, WHEN SHE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB TO SPEAK OF. ARE YOU CALLING MRS. BANKS NEGLECTFUL? YEP. NO, OF COURSE NOT. WE JUST THOUGHT THAT GIVING HER A JOB WOULD GO SOME WAY TO EXPLAIN... BEING A MOTHER IS A JOB. IT'S A VERY DIFFICULT JOB, AND ONE THAT NOT EVERYONE IS UP TO. ONE THAT NOT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ON IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND I WON'T HAVE HER CALLED "CYNTHIA." ABSOLUTELY NOT. IT FEELS...IT FEELS UNLUCKY. IT NEEDS TO BE SOMETHING WARM. SOMETHING A BIT, I DON'T KNOW, SEXY. HOW ABOUT "MAVIS"? UH... "SYBIL"? GREAT. "PRUDENCE"? "GWENDOLYN"? PERFECT. "WINIFRED." "WINIFRED?" "WINIFRED." I COULD GO WITH "WINIFRED." THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S VERY GOOD. THIS ISN'T MR. BANKS. THIS ISN'T... THIS ISN'T HIM. UH, YES, THAT'S MR. BANKS. BUT HE HAS A SET OF MOUSTACHES. IN THE BOOK, HE HAS THEM. I TOLD THE ILLUSTRATOR I DID NOT LIKE THE FACIAL HAIR, BUT SHE CHOSE TO IGNORE ME. NOW THIS TIME AROUND, THIS IS MY FILM, AND I SHALL HAVE MY WAY. MRS. TRAVERS, THIS IS A SPECIFIC REQUEST FROM WALT. WHY? WELL, I THINK HE IDENTIFIES... HE DIDN'T, HE DOESN'T. MR. BANKS IS CLEAN-SHAVEN. DOES IT MATTER? BOB... DOES IT MATTER? BOB... YOU CAN WAIT OUTSIDE. I SHAN'T SAY IT AGAIN, ROBERT. (SCOFFS) WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS LEG? HE GOT SHOT. THAT'S HARDLY SURPRISING. CAN I EXPECT ANY MORE DRAMA FROM ANYONE ELSE? 5 (KIDS YELLING AND LAUGHING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (ELEVATOR DINGS) WHY DO YOU DO THAT? FOR YOU, MY DEAR. TELL ME, GINTAMINA, WHICH KIND OF KISSES DO YOU PREFER? SCRATCHY ONES, OR SILKY ONES? SILKY ONES. WELL, THEN, SWISH! SWOOSH! A MAN MUST SHAVE FOR TO SPARE HIS DAUGHTER'S CHEEKS. SWISH. SWOOSH. SWOOSH. # SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC- EXPIALIDOCIOUS STOP! STOP! STOP! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? "SUPERCALI...?" "SUPERCAL...?" OR WHATEVER THE INFERNAL THING IS. IT'S SOMETHING YOU SAY WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. WELL, I ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY. IF YOU SO MUCH AS STEP ONE FOOT IN HERE WITH THAT TROLLEY, I SHALL SCREAM. ONE CANNOT LIVE ON CAKE ALONE. WELL, HIT ME WITH IT. SHE HAS A LOT OF IDEAS. YEAH? WHAT KIND OF IDEAS? AHEM. THE NAME "CYNTHIA" HAS BEEN CHANGED TO "WINIFRED." FINE, FINE, FINE. SHE WON'T APPROVE DICK VAN DYKE. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) THE SKETCHES OF THE BANKS HOUSE MAKE IT LOOK TOO OPULENT. THERE MUST BE NO HINT OF ROMANCE BETWEEN MARY POPPINS AND BERT. SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHY MR. BANKS HAS BEEN GIVEN A MOUSTACHE. OH, I ASKED FOR THAT. YES, THEY TOLD HER THAT, BUT SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHY. BECAUSE I ASKED FOR IT. RIGHT. OF COURSE. UH, THE TAPE MEASURE MARY POPPINS USES TO RECORD JANE AND MICHAEL'S HEIGHT MUST BE A ROLL TAPE, NOT A RULER. SHE ONLY WANTS GREEN VEGETABLES AND BROTH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT SHE WANTS IT IN THE ROOM FROM NOW ON. AND...OH! SHE DOESN'T WANT THE COLOUR RED IN THE FILM. AT ALL. I'VE SIMPLY GONE OFF THE COLOUR. WE CAN'T MAKE THE PICTURE WITHOUT THE COLOUR RED. THE FILM IS SET IN LONDON, FOR PETE'S SAKE. AND? WELL, THERE'S BUSES AND MAILBOXES AND GUARDS' UNIFORMS AND THINGS. AND HECK, THE ENGLISH FLAG. I UNDERSTAND YOUR PREDICAMENT, MR. DISNEY, I DO. UH, IT'S JUST... I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. I'M SUDDENLY VERY ANTI-RED. I SHAN'T BE WEARING IT EVER AGAIN. IS THIS A TEST, PAMELA? ARE YOU REQUIRING PROOF AS TO HOW MUCH I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY, SO WE CAN CREATE THIS BEAUTIFUL THING TOGETHER? I TOOK YOU AT YOUR WORD, MR. DISNEY. AND IT SEEMS MY FIRST STIPULATION HAS BEEN DENIED. THERE WILL BE MANY MORE. SO, PERHAPS WE SHOULD JUST CALL IT QUITS AND I SHOULD HAND YOU BACK THESE. ALL RIGHT. NO RED IN THE PICTURE. WALT. WALT! WAIT. HE DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHTS. QUITE. TOMMIE? SCOTCH MIST? WHAT DO YOU THINK? WHAT DO I THINK, WHAT? YOU'RE A WOMAN. OH, THAT'S A CANNY OBSERVATION, WALT. WHAT AM I MISSING HERE? YOU THINK THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES HAS SOME SORT OF PSYCHIC INSIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO OTHERS OF HER KIND? WE DON'T. YOU'RE GONNA GET AN ULCER WITH ALL THAT UNRIDDLING. GIVE IT UP. THAT WOMAN. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) GOOD AFTERNOON, MA'AM. WHAT CAN I FIX YOU? A POT OF TEA, IF YOU PLEASE. SURE THING. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) MA'AM. TEA IS BALM FOR THE SOUL, DON'T YOU AGREE? CATCH THE CHOOK! GRAB HER! GIRLS, WILL YOU PLEASE JUST STOP? SHH. IT'S OK, IT'S OK. I KNOW, I KNOW. IN YOU GO. ALL RIGHT? SHH, SHH. IT'S OK. AHOY, GOFFS! AHOY! FATHER! WHOA! THAT'S BETTER. OH. OHH! WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE. DID YOU FINISH EARLY? NO, I JUST, I COULDN'T STOP THINKING OF MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS ON THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THIS BEAUTIFUL PLACE. AND I THOUGHT, "TO HELL WITH IT." BUT DON'T YOU HAVE WORK TO DO? "BUT, BUT, BUT." BUTTS ARE FOR GOATS, MY LOVE. (KISS) I'LL PUT IN EXTRA HOURS TOMORROW. A GIFT OF A PEAR FOR MILADY. THANK YOU. NOW, WHAT ARE WE PLAYING? THE HEN GOT OUT AND WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO CATCH HER. AH. THAT'S NO HEN. THAT'S AUNT ELLIE, YOUR MOTHER'S HORRENDIFEROUS SISTER! THAT'S A MADE-UP WORD. YES, IT IS. HURRY, CATCH HER BEFORE SHE FLIES AWAY ON THE... WEST WIND! WEST WIND. QUICK, GET AUNT ELLIE! ELLIE! COME ON, BIDDY! THAT WAY. OH, SHE'S A FOUL FOWL! GET AUNT ELLIE! COME ON. GRAB HER! HURRY, SERGEANT GINTY! FELL THE BEAST! DARLING, IT'S JUST THAT I'M A LITTLE SCARED. MEG, SWEET, I HAD A THROAT SCRATCH. BUT THE BANK IS GETTING YOU DOWN AGAIN. - PERHAPS MY SISTER CAN HELP. - NO. GOD, NO. (SCOFFS) I CAN ENDURE. I WILL ENDURE. FOR THE GIRLS. JUST, PLEASE... OH, GOD, NOT ELLIE. SHE'S A FOUL FOWL. IT'S GOTTA BE LIKE A SLOGAN. HER PRESCRIPTION FOR LIFE. "AN APPLE A DAY?' "A STITCH IN TIME." "TIME AND TIDE WAIT FOR NO MAN." SUGAR. "SUGAR?" YEAH? JEFF HAD VACCINATION DAY AT SCHOOL YESTERDAY. OUCH. NO OUCH. NO OUCH? SUGAR. THEY PUT IT IN A CUBE. MEDICINE IN SUGAR? "CUBE" IS AN ODD WORD. "SPOONFUL." YOU NEED SUGAR? WE HAVE SUGAR. WELL, MORNING! MAY I WALK WITH YOU? I'M SURE THERE AREN'T ANY LAWS IN YOUR COUNTRY AGAINST IT. # A ROBIN FEATHERING HIS NEST # HAS VERY LITTLE TIME TO REST GO BACK TO THE CHORUS. # FOR A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR # HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN # THE MEDICINE... IT'S NOT-- IT'S MISSING... WAIT. SHE ALWAYS DOES THE UNEXPECTED. MMM-HMM. SHE GOES UP THE BANISTERS. GO UP! # JUST A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR # HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT. MAN IS IN THE FOREST. I WANT YOU TO PLAY THAT FOR HIM. WALT, HOLD ON. I WANT YOU TO HEAR THIS. IT'S JUST THE CHORUS. TELL US WHAT YOU THINK. # HE KNOWS (BOTH HUMMING TUNE) # FOR A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN # THE MEDICINE GO DOWN THE MEDICINE GO DOWN # JUST A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN (BOTH HUMMING TUNE) WE'LL...WE'LL WORK OUT THE REST OF THE LYRICS. YOU SEE HOW IT GOES UP ON THE WORD "DOWN"? ON THE WORD "DOWN," IT GOES UP. IT'S IRONIC. OH, FORGET "IRONIC." IT'S ICONIC. I WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP SINGING THAT FOR WEEKS. (HUMMING TUNE) WELL, IT SEEMS ENORMOUSLY PATRONIZING TO ME. JUST THE SORT OF ANNOYING TUNE YOU'D HAVE PLAYING IN YOUR THEMED PARK, I DARESAY. ALL GIDDY AND CAREFREE, ENCOURAGING CHILDREN TO FACE THE WORLD UNARMED. ALL THEY NEED IS A SPOON AND SOME SUGAR AND A BRAIN FULL OF FLUFF AND THEY'RE EQUIPPED WITH LIFE'S TOOLS. WONDERFUL. WHAT'S YOUR POINT, PAM? "MRS. TRAVERS," PLEASE. MY POINT IS THAT, UNLIKE YOURSELF, MARY POPPINS IS THE VERY ENEMY OF WHIMSY AND SENTIMENT. SHE'S TRUTHFUL. SHE DOESN'T SUGARCOAT THE DARKNESS IN THE WORLD THAT THESE CHILDREN WILL EVENTUALLY, INEVITABLY COME TO KNOW. SHE PREPARES THEM FOR IT. SHE DEALS IN HONESTY. ONE MUST CLEAN ONE'S ROOM. IT WON'T MAGICALLY DO IT BY ITSELF. THIS ENTIRE SCRIPT IS FLIM-FLAM. HMM? WHERE IS ITS HEART? WHERE IS ITS REALITY? WHERE IS THE GRAVITAS? NO WEIGHT, MR. DISNEY. SEE? "NO WHIMSY OR SENTIMENT" SAYS THE WOMAN WHO SENT A FLYING NANNY WITH A TALKING UMBRELLA TO SAVE THE CHILDREN. YOU THINK MARY POPPINS HAS COME TO SAVE THE CHILDREN, MR. DISNEY? OH, DEAR. e (INDISTINCT CHATTER) MR. BELHATCHETT. GOOD AFTERNOON. AFTER YOU, MY DEAR. ALLOW ME. (INDISTINCT YELLING) ...OR IF I'M FIVE MINUTES LATE OPENING HIS STUPID BANK! WELL, THEN, HE'LL TAKE TO ME WITH THE BUSINESS END OF HIS BEAUTIFUL HATCHET! THERE! WHACK! "TAKE THAT FOR NOT DROPPING YOUR BAIRNS ON SCHEDULE!" WHACK! "GO ON, THEN! TAKE THAT! TAKE THAT!" MR. BELHATCHETT... I WANT YOU GONE. GINTY. SWEET THING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU SAID TODAY WAS ICE CREAM DAY. ICE CREAM DAY. YES, I DID. OF COURSE, OF COURSE. WHAT KIND OF A FATHER AM I? COME HERE. ARE YOU FIRED AGAIN? YES. IT DOES SEEM THAT... NO, SWEETHEART. NO. HE'S NOT. DARLING, WAIT INSIDE FOR A SECOND. MR. BELHATCHETT... IF YOU CAN'T STRAIGHTEN UP FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DO IT FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. IRRESPONSIBLE. WE SHARE A CELTIC SOUL, YOU AND I. THIS WORLD, IT'S JUST AN ILLUSION, GINTY OLD GIRL. AS LONG AS WE HOLD THAT THOUGHT DEAR, THEY CAN'T BREAK US. THEY CAN'T MAKE US ENDURE THEIR REALITY. BLEAK AND BLOODY AS IT IS. MONEY. MONEY, MONEY. DON'T YOU BUY INTO IT, GINTY. IT'LL BITE YOU ON THE BOTTOM. I LOATHE THIS PLACE, MR. RUSSELL. IT'S BRINGING UP THESE... WELL, IT'S SO HOT AND STUFFY. I FEEL AS IF I'M BEING ATTACKED. THERE'S THESE ODD DREAMS, AS IF MY SUBCONSCIOUS WERE AFTER ME, PUNISHING ME FOR ENTERTAINING THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT HAND HER OVER. I'M AT WAR WITH MYSELF, MR. RUSSELL. THE SCRIPT IS GHASTLY. EMPTY PAP, JUST AS I EXPECTED. YES. A FEW MORE DAYS, THEN I'LL DECIDE. OH. SERVES ME RIGHT. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. IT BIT ME ON THE BUTT. # FEED THE BIRDS, TUPPENCE A BAG # TUPPENCE, TUPPENCE, TUPPENCE A BAG # FEED THE BIRDS, THAT'S WHAT SHE CRIES # WHILE OVERHEAD, HER BIRDS FILL THE SKIES # ALL AROUND THE CATHEDRAL, THE SAINTS AND APOSTLES # LOOK DOWN AS SHE SELLS HER WARES # ALTHOUGH YOU CAN'T SEE IT # YOU KNOW THEY ARE SMILING # EACH TIME SOMEONE SHOWS THAT HE CARES # THOUGH HER WORDS ARE SIMPLE AND FEW # LISTEN, LISTEN, SHE'S CALLING TO YOU # FEED THE BIRDS, TUPPENCE A BAG # TUPPENCE # TUPPENCE # TUPPENCE A BAG. # THAT'LL WORK. BUT SHE'S GONNA SAY NO, ISN'T SHE? THE WOMAN IS A CONUNDRUM. AHEM. (PLAYING TUNE) # MY WORLD WAS CALM # WELL ORDERED, EXEMPLARY # "EXEMPLARY." # THEN CAME THIS PERSON # WITH CHAOS IN HER WAKE # AND NOW MY LIFE'S AMBITIONS GO # WITH ONE FELL BLOW # IT'S QUITE A BITTER PILL TO TAKE. # INSPIRED BY SOMEONE WE KNOW? YOU'D HAVE TO ASK BOB. SHE MIGHT SURPRISE US ALL. NO, NO, NO, SHE WON'T. YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. NO, I DO. I DO KNOW IT. I KNOW IT ONLY TOO WELL. I FOUGHT THIS BATTLE FROM HER SIDE. PAT POWERS. OH, HE WANTED THE MOUSE, AND I DIDN'T HAVE A BEAN IN MY POCKET BACK THEN. HE WAS THIS BIG, TERRIFYING NEW YORK PRODUCER, I WAS JUST A KID FROM MISSOURI WITH A SKETCH OF MICKEY. IT WOULD'VE KILLED ME TO GIVE HIM UP. HONEST TO GOD, WOULD'VE KILLED ME. THAT MOUSE IS FAMILY. AHH. GO HOME. THIS WORLD, IT'S JUST AN ILLUSION, GINTY OLD GIRL. AH, THE COUNTESS MARY SPARKLESTICK. PRAY TELL ME, WHAT ARE YOU CONCENTRATING SO HARD ON? I'M LAYING EGGS. REALLY? FABULOUS. TODAY, I'M A HEN. INDEED. I CAN SEE THE FEATHERS SPROUTING AS WE SPEAK. HELEN GOFF, WILL YOU LAY THE TABLE FOR SUPPER, PLEASE? I'M NOT HELEN. SHE CAN'T POSSIBLY LAY THE TABLE, SHE'S BUSY LAYING EGGS. HELEN, WILL YOU LAY THE TABLE FOR SUPPER, PLEASE? SHE'S LAYING! SORRY. I SHOULD... GINTY. DON'T YOU EVER STOP DREAMING, GINTY, MY LOVE. YOU CAN BE ANYONE YOU WANT TO BE. ANYONE. I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU. DON'T. DON'T. (SOBBING) ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MRS.? MRS. TRAVERS? WE WERE SAYING WE'D LIKE TO PLAY YOU THE SONG IN THE BANK. WOULD THAT BE GOOD? MMM. OK. FIDELITY FIDUCIARY BANK. I AM DAWES. "SO, YOU HAVE TUPPENCE. "MAY I BE PERMITTED TO SEE IT?" "NO, I WANT IT TO FEED THE BIRDS," MICHAEL SAYS. "FIDDLESTICKS, BOY! "FEED THE BIRDS AND WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" FAT BIRDS! BUT... # IF YOU INVEST YOUR TUPPENCE # WISELY IN THE BANK # SAFE AND SOUND # SOON THE TUPPENCE SAFELY INVESTED IN THE BANK (BAND PLAYING, INDISTINCT CHATTER) MRS. BRILL SAYS FATHER IS PRESENTING THE MEDALS. HE IS, INDEED. ON BEHALF OF THE BANK. MAYBE HE'LL PIN ONE ON ME FOR THE MAYPOLE. HE MIGHT. WHERE IS FATHER? I THINK HE'S PRACTICING HIS SPEECH SOMEWHERE. TWO, PLEASE. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) # AND YOU'LL ACHIEVE THAT SENSE OF CONQUEST # AS YOUR AFFLUENCE EXPANDS # IN THE HANDS OF THE DIRECTORS # WHO INVEST AS PROPRIETY DEMANDS WAIT FOR ME! FATHER! (INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) BACK IN IRELAND. AH! I MISS HER GREEN HILLS SO. (NO AUDIO) WHY IS HE SPEAKING FOR THE BANK? HE IS THE MANAGER, SIR. HE LOOKS TERRIBLE. GOOD AFTERNOON, DISTINGUISHED GUESTS, OUR BIGGEST SUPPORTER, MR. RANDOLPH BELHATCHETT, AND HIS LOVELY WIFE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS. I'M HONOURED TO BE HERE ON BEHALF OF THE BELHATCHETT BANK OF AUSTRALIA. SHORTLY, IT WILL, UH... IT WILL BE MY VERY PLEASANT DUTY TO PRESENT THE AWARDS TO OUR YOUNG PERFORMERS. BUT, WE, UH... BUT BEFORE I BEGIN, ALLOW ME A VERY FEW WORDS TO OUR VERY YOUNGEST CITIZENS ABOUT THE, UH... ABOUT THE, UH, THE ROLE OF THE BANK IN OUR COMMUNITY. # WHEN YOU DEPOSIT TUPPENCE # IN A BANK ACCOUNT # SOON... SOON, YOU'LL SEE... # THAT IT BLOOMS INTO CREDIT OF A... GENEROUS AMOUNT. # SEMI-ANNUALLY # AND YOU'LL ACHIEVE THAT SENSE OF STATURE # AS YOUR INFLUENCE EXPANDS # TO THE HIGH # FINANCIAL STRATA # THAT ESTABLISHED CREDIT NOW COMMANDS # YOU CAN PURCHASE FIRST AND SECOND TRUST DEEDS # THINK OF THE... FORECLOSURES! # BONDS, CHATTELS! # DIVIDENDS! SHARES! # BANKRUPTCIES! DEBTOR SALES! # OPPORTUNITIES! # ALL MANNER OF... PRIVATE ENTERPRISE! # SHIPYARDS! THE MERCANTILE! # COLLIERIES! TANNERIES! # INCORPORATIONS! # AMALGAMATIONS! # BANKS! BANKS! THANKING YOU KINDLY. THANK YOU. (COUGHING) I, UM...WHERE WAS I? AH! OH, YEAH. IT'S A MARVELLOUS THING TO ENCOURAGE OUR CHILDREN TO OPEN BANK ACCOUNTS. MARVELLOUS THING! MY, MY, UH... MY DAUGHTER, THE PRINCESS GINTY! SHE'S... SHE'S... UH, HOW OLD ARE YOU? (AUDIENCE MURMURING) GINTY, COME UP. COME UP HERE. COME, GINTY. GINTY HAS AN ACCOUNT, AND THAT'S GOOD! WELL, GIVE HER A DRINK! I MEAN, GIVE HER A HAND. I SHALL RETURN IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS TO PRESENT THE AWARDS. BUT RIGHT NOW, I NEED TO RELIEVE MYSELF. GIVE US YOUR SHOULDER, GINTY, WILL YOU? I'M BURSTING. THERE'S A GOOD GIRL. ALL: OHH! (LAUGHING) # TOMES, MOUSELY, GRUBBS # FIDELITY FIDUCIARY # BANK I THINK IT WORKS. IT'S GETTING CLOSE. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE HIM SO CRUEL? HE WAS NOT A MONSTER! WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? I'M CONFUSED. YOU ALL HAVE CHILDREN, YES? YES, YES. AND DO THOSE CHILDREN MAKE LETTERS FOR YOU? DO THEY WRITE LETTERS? DO THEY MAKE YOU DRAWINGS? AND WOULD YOU TEAR UP THOSE GIFTS IN FRONT OF THEM? IT'S A DREADFUL THING TO DO. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY MUST FATHER TEAR UP THE ADVERTISEMENT HIS CHILDREN HAVE MADE, AND THROW IT IN THE FIREPLACE? WHY WON'T HE MEND THEIR KITE? WHY HAVE YOU MADE HIM SO UNSPEAKABLY AWFUL? IN GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOR, FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE? IF YOU CLAIM TO MAKE THEM LIVE, WHY CAN'T HE... THEY LIVE WELL? I CAN'T BEAR IT. PLEASE, DON'T. PLEASE, DON'T. I FEEL LIKE I LET HIM DOWN AGAIN. MRS. TRAVERS? . Your kids use as much data as you do. So if you're tired of topping up their prepay, just add Red Share to your Red+ mobile plan and keep them connected with data to share and unlimited talk and TXT. 4 I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU CAN GIVE ME ANY MORE... FOR THE PAIN? WHEN WILL ENOUGH BE ENOUGH, TRAVERS? HMM? I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING, FATHER. BE A DARLING, GINTY, MY OLD PAL. COME HERE. COME HERE. COME CLOSE. I'M SICK. YOU'LL HELP FATHER OUT, WON'T YOU? IN MY WASHROOM, THERE'S A BOTTLE OF MEDICINE THAT FATHER NEEDS. MOTHER TOOK IT AWAY. OH, DAMN IT! I WROTE YOU A POEM, FATHER. IT WON FIRST PLACE AT SCHOOL. SHALL I READ IT TO YOU, FATHER? IT'S HARDLY YEATS, IS IT? MRS.? I, UH... I BROUGHT YOU A TEA. IT'S BLASPHEMY TO DRINK TEA FROM A PAPER CUP. OH. UH... HERE. IS EVERYTHING OK, MRS.? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DRIVE YOU HOME? ALL THE WAY TO ENGLAND? YES, PLEASE. YOU, UH...YOU GOT FAMILY BACK THERE, MRS.? YOU'RE AN IMPERTINENT MAN, YOU KNOW? YOU ASK AN AWFUL LOT OF QUESTIONS THAT HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RELEVANCE TO YOUR BEING ABLE TO CARRY OUT YOUR DUTIES. (LAUGHS) I KNOW. YEAH, I DO, DO THAT, YES. AND YOU HAVE NO BAROMETER. LET'S JUST SAY I HAVEN'T FAMILY WHO WOULD NOTICE WHETHER I WERE HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD OR SITTING IN MY LIVING ROOM. MAKE A FURROW. THERE. THAT'S A GOOD STICK FOR DIGGING. A FURROW? YES. ALL RIGHT. I GOT A KID. MOST PEOPLE DO. JANE. YEAH. WHAT A TERRIFIC KID. BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL. SHE'S GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS, THOUGH. SHE'S HANDICAPPED, YOU KNOW? SHE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR. SEE, AND THAT'S WHY I CONCERN MYSELF WITH THE WEATHER SO MUCH. SUNNY DAY, SHE CAN SIT OUTSIDE IN THE GARDEN. RAINY DAY, I GOTTA LEAVE HER COOPED UP INSIDE. I WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE, BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT. ONLY TODAY. MMM. YEAH. NOW, LOOK. IT'S A BANDSTAND. AH! AH! A RIVER! LAKE. LAKE. HMM. HEY, HEY, HEY, I SURE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE HER THERE. WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE? MOTHER? I KNOW YOU GAVE IT TO HIM. TAKE CARE OF YOUR SISTERS. WHAT? I KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR FATHER MORE. BUT ONE DAY, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND. HMM. MOTHER! MOTHER? MOTHER! MOTHER! (BABY CRYING) COME ON, ALBERT. MOTHER! PLEASE! MOTHER! MOTHER! MOTHER! (GASPING) IT'S TIME TO GO HOME. (GASPING) I'M SORRY. OH, MY GOD. I'M SORRY. (SOBBING) I THINK WE SHOULD GO WITH FRIDA KAHLO. (TELEPHONE RINGS) (RING) MRS. TRAVERS. YES? (COUGHING) PAM. WALT. MR. DISNEY. I'M CALLING TO, UH, WELL, TO CHECK UP ON YOU. I UNDERSTAND THINGS DIDN'T GO SO WELL TODAY. SOMETHING ABOUT MR. BANKS? THEY WENT AS WELL AS THEY'VE GONE ON EVERY OTHER DAY THAT I'VE BEEN HERE. I DON'T RECALL ANY SPECIAL PHONE CALLS FROM YOU ON ANY OF THOSE OTHER EVENINGS. PAM, WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT? I MEAN, REALLY? I'M WONDERING WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. OH. AND YOU'RE WONDERING THAT, TOO, AREN'T YOU? YOU KNOW, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO DISNEYLAND, AND THAT'S THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH. TOMMIE! CANCEL MY MORNING TOMORROW. I'M GONNA TAKE A RIDE WITH MY FAVOURITE AUTHOR. NO, NO, NO, PLEASE, MR. DISNEY, I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW UNINTERESTED, NO, POSITIVELY SICKENED I AM AT THE THOUGHT OF VISITING YOUR DOLLAR-PRINTING MACHINE. WELL, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WHEN DOES ANYBODY GET TO GO TO DISNEYLAND WITH WALT DISNEY HIMSELF? DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE TO THE SOUL WHAT THE THUNDERSTORM IS TO THE AIR. HELLO? (LINE DISCONNECTS) HE... HE HUNG UP. HE HUNG UP. GUYS, WE GOTTA FIX THIS. FATHER, WIND'S FROM THE EAST. THE AUNT. (INSECT BUZZING) OH, DEAR. NOW... I'VE BROUGHT EVERY NEW-FANGLED TREATMENT AVAILABLE IN SYDNEY. MM-HMM. CLOSE YOUR MOUTH, BIDDY. WE ARE NOT A CODFISH. HMM. NOW, I SEE A MULTITUDE OF JOBS THAT NEED TO BE DONE. I'VE JUST BEEN, UM... I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED. OH, STOP YOUR BABBLING NONSENSE. I'M HERE NOW, AND I SHALL FIX EVERYTHING. I THOUGHT I MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT YOU TWO OUGHT TO START HELPING. HMM? SPIT-SPOT! WHERE ARE WE? THIS ISN'T THE WAY. CHANGE OF VENUE THIS MORNING, APPARENTLY. OH... (INDISTINCT CHATTER) WOW! THERE HE IS! LIVING AND BREATHING. (LAUGHS) OH, BOY! OH, I CAN GET THAT. MRS. TRAVERS, WELCOME TO THE MAGIC KINGDOM. OHH. IS IT ALL LIKE THIS? YEP. ISN'T IT WONDERFUL? HEY. DO YOU ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT, WALTER? PRETTY MUCH. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE RIGHTS TO MY BOOKS, OF COURSE. WELL, THE WAR AIN'T OVER YET, PAM. THE WAR AIN'T OVER YET. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. OH, HO! SURE, SURE. HERE YOU GO. THAT. HERE YOU GO. PRE-SIGNED? HEY, YOU SHOULD GET HERS, TOO. THIS WOMAN IS A BONA FIDE GENIUS. THE TOUR STARTS THIS WAY, PAM. HOT DOG. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA... MOVE ALONG, MOVE ALONG. UP, UP, UP, UP! THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. EACH SECTION OF THE PARK HAS A HIGH POINT SO YOU CAN GET YOUR BEARINGS. IN ADVENTURELAND, THERE'S A TREE. THIS IS A FUN FACT, THIS IS A TITBIT. "TIDBIT." IT'S GOT THREE MILLION LEAVES, FOUR MILLION FLOWERS. GOSH. THEY SAID ONLY GOD COULD MAKE A TREE. MR. DISNEY, SIR, WOULD YOU MIND SIGNING THIS? NO. DO YOU ONE BETTER. HERE YOU GO, HAVE A GREAT DAY. OH. THANK YOU SO MUCH. MR. DISNEY! HEY. WHERE DID SHE COME FROM? WHO? OH, I THINK YOU KNOW. SHE FLEW IN THROUGH THE WINDOW ONE DAY. "FLEW IN THROUGH THE WINDOW." IT WAS JUST THAT EASY, WAS IT, MRS. TRAVERS? DO YOU SEE THOSE SPIRES? PLATED WITH 24-KARAT GOLD. ROY WAS AGAINST IT, SO I WAITED UNTIL HE WAS OUT OF TOWN TO GET IT DONE. HOW CLEVER. NOW, I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, SO, I'M JUST GONNA TAKE YOU TO ONE RIDE. MY FAVOURITE AMUSEMENT, AND THEN I'LL SET YOU FREE. HELLO, MR. DISNEY! HELLO, FOLKS, HOW ARE YOU? ENJOY THE DAY. HEY, KIDS. ERNIE. WELCOME. RIGHT THIS WAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH. EXCUSE ME, PLEASE. MRS. TRAVERS, I WOULD BE HONOURED IF YOU WOULD TAKE A RIDE ON JINGLES, HERE. THIS IS MRS. DISNEY'S FAVOURITE HORSE. NO, THANK YOU. I'M HAPPY TO WATCH. NOW, THERE'S NO GREATER JOY THAN THAT SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD, AND THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF A CHILD IN ALL OF US. MAYBE IN YOU, MR. DISNEY, BUT CERTAINLY NOT IN ME. GET ON THE HORSE, PAMELA. NOW, WHEN WE FIRST MET, YOU SAID TO ME, "THEY'RE FAMILY." I SAID WHAT? MARY POPPINS, THE BANKS. THEY'RE FAMILY. THE BOYS HAVE COME UP WITH AN IDEA FOR YOUR MR. BANKS. I THINK IT'S GONNA MAKE YOU HAPPY. YOU DIDN'T BRING ME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE TO TELL ME THAT? OH, NO, NO, NO. I BROUGHT YOU ALL THE WAY OUT HERE FOR MONETARY GAIN. I HAD A WAGER WITH THE BOYS. COULDN'T GET YOU ON A RIDE. I JUST WON 20 BUCKS. (BELL RINGS) HA HA. YEAH! (CAROUSEL MUSIC PLAYING) I SEE YOU. I SEE YOU. WELL BEGUN IS HALF DONE. THERE YOU GO. GIVE IT A WHACK, BIDDY. NICE AND HARD. (BIDDY GRUNTING) (COUGHING) 5 MORNING, MRS. TRAVERS. WHAT HORRORS HAVE YOU IN STORE FOR MY BEAUTIFUL CHARACTERS TODAY? YOU SIT HERE. ALL RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? WE WERE THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID, AND YOU'RE RIGHT. MR. BANKS ISN'T CRUEL. HE ISN'T. SO, WE HAVE A NEW END FOR THE FILM. OH, GOD, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. MICHAEL SAYS, "HE MENDED IT. IT'S WONDERFUL." "HOWEVER DID YOU MANAGE IT?" HE MENDED THE KITE? # WITH TUPPENCE # FOR PAPER AND STRINGS # YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN SET OF WINGS # WITH YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND # YOU'RE A BIRD IN FLIGHT # WITH YOUR FIST HOLDING TIGHT # TO THE STRING OF YOUR KITE # OH, OH, OH! # LET'S GO FLY A KITE # UP TO THE HIGHEST HEIGHT # LET'S GO FLY A KITE # AND SEND IT SOARING # UP THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE # UP WHERE THE AIR IS CLEAR # OH, LET'S GO FLY A KITE THEN, MRS. BANKS RUNS THROUGH HER HOUSE. SHE GETS THE SUFFRAGETTE RIBBON, AND SAYS... "A PROPER KITE DESERVES A PROPER TAIL, "DON'T YOU THINK?" # OH, OH, OH! # LET'S GO FLY A KITE # UP TO THE HIGHEST HEIGHT # LET'S GO FLY A KITE # AND SEND IT SOARING # UP THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE # UP WHERE THE AIR IS CLEAR # OH, LET'S GO FLY A KITE # WHEN YOU SEND IT FLYING UP THERE # ALL AT ONCE YOU'RE LIGHTER THAN AIR # YOU CAN DANCE ON THE BREEZE # OVER HOUSES AND TREES # WITH YOUR FIST HOLDING TIGHT # TO THE STRING OF YOUR KITE. (SHRIEKING) MR. DISNEY! WALT! I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT. IT'S JUST THAT SHE'S-- SHE'S DANCING. MRS. TRAVERS. SHE'S DANCING WITH DON! # OH, OH, OH! # LET'S GO FLY A KITE # UP TO THE HIGHEST HEIGHT # LET'S GO FLY A KITE # AND SEND IT SOARING # UP THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE # UP WHERE THE AIR IS CLEAR # OH, LET'S GO FLY A KITE. # (LAUGHS) OH, HE-- HE FIXES THE KITE. OH, I LOVE IT. ALTHOUGH, THE PROPER ENGLISH WOULD BE, "LET US GO AND FLY A KITE." LET US GO AND FLY A KITE I MIGHT BE WILLING TO OVERLOOK THAT. ALL RIGHT. VERY GOOD. LOOK AT YOU. I REWROTE THE POEM, FATHER. THE AUNT GAVE ME TUPPENCE. SHALL I BUY YOU SOMETHING, FATHER? PEARS. PEARS. FATHER. TUPPENCE FOR PEARS, PEARS, PEARS, PEARS. YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT, YOU KNOW? IT IS BEAUTIFUL. EXQUISITE. IT'S ALWAYS NEW. SO, "JOLLY HOLIDAY" IS IN? MMM. BY ALL MEANS. WONDERFUL. I DO HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT IT, ACTUALLY. HOW IN THE WORLD DOES MR. DISNEY PROPOSE TO TRAIN ALL THE PENGUINS TO DANCE? I'VE HEARD ABOUT HIS IMPLAUSIBLY-LEAVED TREES. SO, I PRESUME HE DOES HAVE SOME INSANE PENGUIN-WRANGLING SCHEME. BUT IT DOES SEEM A LITTLE FAR-FETCHED, EVEN FOR HIM. CAN YOU TRAIN A PENGUIN TO DANCE? NO, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN TRAIN... THEY'RE ANIMATED. DICK... THEY'RE WHAT? CARTOONS. DON: DICK! WHAT? ARE WE GETTING REAL PENGUINS? YES, 2:00, TUESDAY. GOOD AFTERNOON, MRS. TRAVERS. I'M HERE TO SEE MR. DISNEY. OH, PLEASE, HAVE A... MRS. TRAVERS, PLEASE! DISNEY! (GASPS) MRS. TRAVERS? MRS. TRAVERS! I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, WALT. IT'S ALL RIGHT, TOMMIE. JUST CLOSE THE DOOR. I NEVER LET ANYONE SEE ME SMOKING. I HATE TO ENCOURAGE BAD HABITS. PLEASE, SIT DOWN. I SHALL NOT SIT IN THE SEAT OF A TRICKSTER, A FRAUDSTER, A SNEAK! PAMELA! "MRS. TRAVERS," PLEASE! MRS. TRAVERS, WHAT HAS YOU SO UPSET NOW? PENGUINS. PENGUINS HAVE VERY MUCH UPSET ME, MR. DISNEY. ANIMATED DANCING PENGUINS. NOW, YOU HAVE... YOU HAVE SEDUCED ME WITH THE MUSIC, MR. DISNEY. YES, YOU HAVE. THOSE SHERMAN BOYS HAVE QUITE TURNED MY HEAD. BUT I SHALL NOT BE MOVED UPON THE MATTER OF CARTOONS, SIR. NOT ONE INCH! IT IS A SEQUENCE. YOU PROMISED ME. YOU PROMISED ME THAT THIS FILM WOULD NOT BE AN ANIMATION! AND IT ISN'T. SO, THEY'RE REAL PENGUINS? NO. NO, THEY ARE ANIMATED. BUT THE ACTORS, YOU SEE, THE ACTORS ARE VERY, VERY MUCH REAL. FOOLISH OLD WOMAN. HAVE A GOOD DAY, MR. DISNEY. PAMELA. PAM! OH, DOLLY, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO RING MY DRIVER, AND ASK HIM TO COLLECT ME? YES, MA'AM. THANK YOU. HERE WE ARE, MRS. THANK YOU. YEAH. IT'S BEEN A REAL PLEASURE DRIVING YOU, MRS. NO ONE LIKES A FIBBER. OH, NO, NO. I REALLY HAVE ENJOYED IT. I DIDN'T KNOW WHO YOU WERE AT FIRST. AND THEN, GUESS WHAT. YOU FOUND OUT? WELL, I WAS TELLING MY DAUGHTER ALL ABOUT MY DAY, AND HOW I'M DRIVING THIS NICE WRITER LADY, MRS. TRAVERS, FOR MR. DISNEY, AND, UH... AND? AND... AND SHE MADE ME GO TO HER BEDROOM, AND BRING HER THIS. I CAN'T STOP READING IT, YOU KNOW. I'M VERY SLOW, MIND YOU, SO... WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SIGN IT? WOULD YOU? I'D BE HONOURED. UH... LET ME SEE, NOW. "TO JANE "AND HER DEAREST FATHER..." I'VE JUST THIS INSTANT REALIZED I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME. RALPH. PAMELA. PAMELA. YOU'RE THE ONLY AMERICAN I'VE EVER LIKED, RALPH. OH... WELL, MAY I ASK WHY? NO. NOW, TAKE THIS. "ALBERT EINSTEIN, VAN GOGH, ROOSEVELT. FRIDA KAHLO." "KAHLO." KAHLO. WHAT IS THIS? THEY ALL HAD DIFFICULTIES. JANE CAN DO ANYTHING THAT ANYONE ELSE CAN DO. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? OH. I ALMOST FORGOT, TURN IT AROUND. "WALT DISNEY." HYPERACTIVE BEHAVIOUR AND DEFICIENCIES IN CONCENTRATION. IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. THANK YOU, MRS. SHE ACTED LIKE AN ANGRY PERSON A LOT OF THE TIME. MM-HMM. SO, SHE'S COME AND GONE, HUH? YEAH, HER FLIGHT LEFT 10 MINUTES AGO. BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL, PRIVATE LIMOUSINE. FIRST-CLASS PLANE TICKET BACK TO ENGLAND FOR... WAIT. "GOFF"? WHO IS... WHO IS HELEN GOFF? THAT'S HER. THAT'S HER REAL NAME. SHE ACTS SO HOITY-TOITY BRITISH, AND SHE'S REALLY AN AUSSIE. THEN WHO IS TRAVERS? I'VE BEEN TALKING TO THE WRONG PERSON? HE'S GONE. NO, NO, NO. YOU MUSTN'T. LET HER GO, MARGARET. I DROPPED THE PEARS. I'M SORRY, DADDY. HELEN, DEAR GIRL... YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD FIX EVERYTHING. HELLO, HOUSE. (KNOCK ON DOOR) (KNOCK) (GASPS) (GROANING) OH, DEAR GOD! IT WAS ONE HECK OF A JOB GETTING A SEAT ON THE VERY NEXT FLIGHT, LET ME TELL YOU. MRS. TRAVERS, I COULD SURE USE A NICE POT OF ENGLISH TEA ABOUT NOW. 5 HERE WE ARE. ALLOW ME. MILK IN FIRST, REMEMBER? YEAH, I REMEMBER. AND A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR? NO, I THINK I'LL HAVE WHISKY. OH. OOH. THAT'S OK. WELL, WHEN IN ROME... THANK YOU. YOU'VE COME TO CHANGE MY MIND, HAVEN'T YOU? TO BEAT ME INTO SUBMISSION. NO. NO. I'VE COME BECAUSE YOU MISJUDGED ME. (SCOFFS) HOW DO I MISJUDGE YOU? YOU LOOK AT ME AND YOU SEE SOME KIND OF HOLLYWOOD KING MIDAS. YOU THINK I'VE BUILT AN EMPIRE, AND I WANT YOUR MARY POPPINS AS JUST ANOTHER BRICK IN MY KINGDOM. AND DON'T YOU? NOW, IF THAT WAS ALL IT WAS, WOULD I HAVE SUCKERED UP TO A CRANKY, STUBBORN DAME LIKE YOU FOR 20 YEARS? NO, I WOULD HAVE SAVED MYSELF AN ULCER. NO, YOU, UH... YOU EXPECTED ME TO DISAPPOINT YOU, AND SO YOU MADE SURE I DID. WELL, I THINK LIFE DISAPPOINTS YOU, MRS. TRAVERS. I THINK IT'S DONE THAT A LOT, AND I THINK MARY POPPINS IS THE ONLY PERSON IN YOUR LIFE WHO HASN'T. MARY POPPINS ISN'T REAL. THAT'S NOT TRUE. NO, NO, NO. SHE'S AS REAL AS CAN BE TO MY DAUGHTERS. AND TO THOUSANDS OF OTHER KIDS. ADULTS, TOO. SHE'S BEEN THERE AS A NIGHT-TIME COMFORT TO A HECK OF A LOT OF PEOPLE. WELL, WHERE IS SHE WHEN I NEED HER, HMM? I OPEN THE DOOR TO MARY POPPINS, AND WHO SHOULD BE STANDING THERE, BUT WALT DISNEY? (EXHALES) MRS. TRAVERS, I'M SORRY. I'D HOPED THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A MAGICAL EXPERIENCE, FOR YOU AND FOR ALL OF US, BUT I'VE LET YOU DOWN. AND, IN DOING SO, I'VE BROKEN A 20-YEAR-OLD PROMISE I MADE TO MY DAUGHTERS. I'VE BEEN RACKING MY BRAIN, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THIS HAS BEEN SO HARD FOR YOU AND I. AND, WELL... YOU SEE, I HAVE MY OWN MR. BANKS. MINE HAD A MOUSTACHE. SO, IT IS NOT TRUE THAT DISNEY CREATED MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE? NO, NO. BUT IT IS TRUE THAT YOU CREATED YOURSELF IN SOMEONE ELSE'S, YES? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO KANSAS CITY, MRS. TRAVERS? DO YOU KNOW MISSOURI AT ALL? I CAN'T SAY I DO. WELL, IT'S MIGHTY COLD THERE IN THE WINTERS. BITTER COLD. AND MY DAD, ELIAS DISNEY, HE OWNED A NEWSPAPER DELIVERY ROUTE THERE. A THOUSAND PAPERS, TWICE DAILY. A MORNING AND AN EVENING EDITION. AND DAD WAS A TOUGH BUSINESSMAN. HE WAS A "SAVE A PENNY ANY WAY YOU CAN" TYPE OF FELLA. SO HE WOULDN'T EMPLOY DELIVERY BOYS. NO, NO, NO. HE USED ME AND MY BIG BROTHER ROY. I WAS, UH... I WAS EIGHT BACK THEN. JUST EIGHT YEARS OLD. AND, LIKE I SAID, WINTERS ARE HARSH. AND OLD ELIAS, WELL, HE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN NEW SHOES, UNTIL THE OLD ONES WERE WORN THROUGH. HONESTLY, MRS. TRAVERS, THE SNOWDRIFTS, SOMETIMES THEY WERE UP OVER MY HEAD. AND WE'D PUSH THROUGH THAT SNOW LIKE IT WAS MOLASSES. THE COLD AND WET SEEPING THROUGH OUR CLOTHES AND OUR SHOES. SKIN PEELING FROM OUR FACES. SOMETIMES I'D FIND MYSELF SUNK DOWN IN THAT SNOW, JUST WAKING UP, BECAUSE I MUST HAVE PASSED OUT OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW. AND THEN IT WAS TIME FOR SCHOOL, AND I WAS TOO COLD OR WET TO FIGURE OUT EQUATIONS AND THINGS. AND THEN IT WAS RIGHT BACK OUT IN THE SNOW AGAIN TO GET HOME JUST BEFORE DARK. MOTHER WOULD FEED US DINNER. AND THEN IT WAS TIME TO GO RIGHT BACK OUT AND DO IT AGAIN FOR THE EVENING EDITION. "YOU HAD BEST BE QUICK THERE, WALT. "YOU'D BETTER GET THOSE NEWSPAPERS UP "ON THAT PORCH AND UNDER THAT STORM DOOR. "POPPA'S GONNA LOSE HIS TEMPER AGAIN AND SHOW YOU THE BUCKLE END OF HIS BELT, BOY." I DON'T...I DON'T TELL YOU THIS TO MAKE YOU SAD, MRS. TRAVERS. I DON'T. I LOVE MY LIFE. I THINK IT'S A MIRACLE. AND I LOVED MY DAD. HE WAS A...HE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN. BUT RARE IS THE DAY WHEN I DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY DELIVERING NEWSPAPERS IN THE SNOW, AND OLD ELIAS DISNEY WITH THAT STRAP IN HIS FIST. AND I AM JUST SO TIRED. MRS. TRAVERS, I'M TIRED OF REMEMBERING IT THAT WAY. AREN'T YOU TIRED, TOO, MRS. TRAVERS? NOW WE ALL HAVE OUR SAD TALES, BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO FINISH THE STORY? LET IT ALL GO AND HAVE A LIFE THAT ISN'T DICTATED BY THE PAST? IT'S NOT THE CHILDREN SHE COMES TO SAVE. IT'S THEIR FATHER. IT'S YOUR FATHER. TRAVERS GOFF. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT ME, WALTER... YOU MUST HAVE LOVED AND ADMIRED HIM A LOT TO TAKE HIS NAME. I... IT'S HIM THIS IS ALL ABOUT, ISN'T IT? ALL OF IT, EVERYTHING. FORGIVENESS, MRS. TRAVERS. IT'S WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOUR BOOKS. I DON'T HAVE TO FORGIVE MY FATHER. HE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN. NO, NO. YOU NEED TO FORGIVE HELEN GOFF. LIFE IS A HARSH SENTENCE TO LAY DOWN FOR YOURSELF. GIVE HER TO ME. MRS. TRAVERS, TRUST ME WITH YOUR PRECIOUS MARY POPPINS. I WON'T DISAPPOINT YOU. I SWEAR, EVERY TIME A PERSON WALKS INTO A MOVIE HOUSE, FROM LEICESTER SQUARE TO KANSAS CITY, THEY WILL SEE GEORGE BANKS BEING SAVED. THEY WILL LOVE HIM AND HIS KIDS. THEY WILL WEEP FOR HIS CARES. THEY WILL WRING THEIR HANDS WHEN HE LOSES HIS JOB. AND WHEN HE FLIES THAT KITE... OH, MRS. TRAVERS, THEY WILL REJOICE. THEY WILL SING. IN MOVIE HOUSES ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN THE EYES AND HEARTS OF MY KIDS AND OTHER KIDS, AND MOTHERS AND FATHERS FOR GENERATIONS TO COME, GEORGE BANKS WILL BE HONOURED. GEORGE BANKS WILL BE REDEEMED. GEORGE BANKS AND ALL HE STANDS FOR WILL BE SAVED. NOW, MAYBE NOT IN LIFE, BUT IN IMAGINATION. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE STORYTELLERS DO. WE RESTORE ORDER WITH IMAGINATION. WE INSTIL HOPE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. SO TRUST ME, MRS. TRAVERS. LET ME PROVE IT TO YOU. I GIVE YOU MY WORD. ENOUGH. JUST MAKE THOSE TWO CHANGES AND I'M SURE EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE. JUST FINE. WALT, COULD I GET YOUR APPROVAL ON THAT, PLEASE? WHAT IS IT? INVITATION LIST TO THE PREMIERE. YEAH? IS THIS EVERYONE? IT'S NOT EVERYONE. NOW, THERE WILL BE A PREMIERE IN LONDON. THAT WILL BE MORE CONVENIENT FOR HER. TOMMIE, THIS WASN'T AN EASY DECISION FOR ME, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S LIKE. WE GOT PRESS, INTERVIEWS, CAMERAS. I NEED TO PROTECT THE PICTURE. OK. (DOORBELL RINGS) AH. I SHOULD SAY SO, TOO. (RING) MRS. TRAVERS! (DOORBELL RINGS) MRS. TRAVERS! WILL YOU STOP SCREECHING LIKE AN ALLEY CAT! AND ANSWER THE DOOR! I'M VERY PLEASED TO HEAR THAT, PAMELA. I SHOULD THINK YOU WILL HAVE A DRAFT FAIRLY SOON. POLLY, WHERE'S THAT TEA? IT'S COMING ALONG MARVELLOUSLY. AH, AH, AH. NO PEEKING. AREN'T YOU GOING TO POUR IT FOR US? YOU'RE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF POURING IT YOURSELF. SHE'S QUITE THE WORST MAID I'VE EVER HAD. SO WHY DO YOU KEEP HER? I DON'T KNOW. SHE REMINDS ME OF ME. DO YOU HAVE A TITLE? "MARY POPPINS IN THE KITCHEN." WONDERFUL. SO, SHOULD WE START TALKING ABOUT THE FILM RIGHTS? NEVER AGAIN. OK. NOW, TELL ME, HAVE YOU GOT YOUR TIARA FOR THE PREMIERE? OH, I'M NOT GOING TO THAT. WHY NOT? HOLLYWOOD PREMIERES AREN'T FOR AN OLD TROUT LIKE ME. ANYWAY, IT'S NOT CONVENIENT. HE HASN'T INVITED YOU, HAS HE? MARY POPPINS WOULDN'T STAND FOR THAT. CAN I HELP YOU? I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE, THANK YOU. AS I RECALL. SWEET OF YOU. WALT! UM... HELLO, DOLLY! WALT... TOMMIE, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO MOVE THAT MEETING WITH G.E. WHAT? MRS. TRAVERS. ME AGAIN! HOW WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU. I'M HERE FOR MY PREMIERE. GREAT! I DIDN'T RECEIVE MY INVITATION, BUT I JUST ASSUMED THE AMERICAN POSTAL SERVICE HAD FALLEN DOWN UPON THE JOB, AS PER USUAL. I WILL HAVE A REPLACEMENT SENT TO YOUR HOTEL RIGHT AWAY. YOU'RE VERY KIND, MR. DISNEY. I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T HAVE FORGOTTEN ME. PAMELA. HOW COULD I FORGET YOU? 5 GOOD EVENING. OH, HELLO. COULD YOU PLEASE ORDER ME A CAB? ABSOLUTELY. THANK YOU. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) RALPH? I HAD A FEELING A CERTAIN FRIEND OF MINE MIGHT BE NEEDING ME TONIGHT. OH. HEY! WOW. YOU LOOK LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. THANK YOU. LET'S GET YOU TO THAT BALL. HUH? COME ON. THANK YOU, RALPH. THANK YOU. (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) (ALL CHEERING) (INDISTINCT YELLING) OH, NO, NO, NO. I GOT THAT, BROTHER. THIS IS YOUR NIGHT. NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT YOU. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (APPLAUSE) (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) AND SNAP! THE JOB'S A GAME # AND EVERY TASK YOU UNDERTAKE # BECOMES A PIECE OF CAKE # A LARK, A SPREE IT'S VERY CLEAR TO SEE (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) # STEP IN TIME, STEP IN TIME # STEP IN TIME, STEP IN TIME # NEVER NEED A REASON, NEVER NEED A RHYME # STEP IN TIME, YOU STEP IN TIME SOMETIMES, A PERSON WE LOVE, THROUGH NO FAULT OF HIS OWN, CAN'T SEE PAST THE END OF HIS NOSE. PAST THE END OF HIS NOSE? WELL, NOW, THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE. YOUR DAD IS A FINE GENTLEMAN, AND HE LOVES YOU. I DON'T THINK SO. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON HIS FACE. HE DOESN'T LIKE US AT ALL. WELL, NOW, THAT DON'T SEEM LIKELY, DOES IT? LET'S SIT DOWN. YOU KNOW, BEGGING YOUR PARDON, BUT THE ONE MY HEART GOES OUT TO IS YOUR FATHER. THERE HE IS IN THAT COLD, HEARTLESS BANK, DAY AFTER DAY. HEMMED IN BY MOUNDS OF COLD, HEARTLESS MONEY. I DON'T LIKE TO SEE ANY LIVING THING CAGED UP. FATHER IN A CAGE? THEY MAKES CAGES IN ALL SIZES AND SHAPES, YOU KNOW. BANK-SHAPED SOME OF THEM, CARPETS AND ALL. MARY POPPINS, YOU WON'T EVER LEAVE US, WILL YOU? WHATEVER WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU? I SHALL STAY UNTIL THE WIND CHANGES. (MRS. TRAVERS CRYING) IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT, MRS. TRAVERS. MR. BANKS IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT, I PROMISE. NO, NO. IT'S JUST... I CAN'T ABIDE CARTOONS. MMM. # OH, OH, OH! # LET'S GO FLY A KITE # UP TO THE HIGHEST HEIGHT # LET'S GO FLY A KITE # AND SEND IT SOARING # UP THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE # UP WHERE THE AIR IS CLEAR # OH, LET'S GO... # DON'T LEAVE ME. NEVER. I PROMISE. I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU. WIND'S IN THE EAST, MIST COMING IN, LIKE SOMETHING IS BREWING, ABOUT TO BEGIN. CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON WHAT LIES IN STORE, BUT I FEEL WHAT'S TO HAPPEN ALL HAPPENED BEFORE. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. ABLE 2016 NOW, WHO'S READING? AND GO SLOWLY. YOU START AND I'LL TAKE OVER... "AUTUMN. IN THE EARLY PART "OF THE 20TH CENTURY, 1910. LONDON. "AT NUMBER 17 CHERRY TREE LANE, THE BANKS HOUSEHOLD IS IN AN UPROAR." HOLD IT. NOW, I SEE THAT CHERRY TREE LANE AS NOT TOO TOWNIFIED ON ONE SIDE OF THE PARK. AND WE'LL GET YOU A PHOTOGRAPH OF 50 SMITH STREET, IN ORDER TO SEE THAT THE HOUSE IS REALLY QUITE LIKE THAT. BUT IT HAS MORE OF A GARDEN THAN MY HOUSE HAD. BUT IT MIGHT BE USEFUL AND AMUSING TO PUT IT IN AS MY HOUSE. YOU SEE? "UPSTAIRS IN THE NURSERY, "WHERE MARY IS MEASURING UP THE CHILDREN "WITH A LONG ROW OF TAPE MEASURE, "MARY READS OFF THE TAPE THAT JANE IS--" FIRST SHE SAYS, "WHAT KIND OF MATERIAL HAVE WE GOT TO WORK WITH?" NO, NO. THAT, WE CANNOT HAVE. THAT WOULD BE QUITE UN-ENGLISH. MRS. TRAVERS, BASICALLY, WHAT WE WANT TO DO HERE IS USE PRETTY MUCH WHAT YOU HAVE IN THE BOOK. YES, YES. NOW, I WANT THIS TAPE MEASURE TO BE USED, BECAUSE IT WAS A TAPE MEASURE THAT MY MOTHER HAD WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL. MMM-HMM. AND I THINK IT WOULD BE VERY NICE. "AT THE END OF THE CHORUS..." READ ME ALL THAT, NOW. WE WERE GOING TO-- READ IT. NO, NO. YOU READ IT. DO YOU WANT TO BEAR US? NO. GO ON. THIS IS TORTURE! NOW, GO ON. "AT THE END OF THE CHORUS..." THERE OUGHT PERHAPS TO HAVE BEEN PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRYSIDE. DO YOU SEE? ARE YOU MAKING NOTE OF IT? AND THEY WOULD BE THE PEARLY PEOPLE. THEY'D BE ARRIVING AND THEY'D COME NEARER AND THEY'D SEE, "AH. HMM." THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT GRAND ENOUGH TO EAT AT THIS TABLE. HAVE YOU GOT THIS ON TAPE? YES. OH, YES. I'M NOT GOING TO DO THIS FILM UNLESS I'M AVAILABLE FOR IT. THERE ARE THESE TAPES ALSO, YOU KNOW. NO, IT'S NOT ENOUGH. WE, UH...WE HAVE TO FEEL THE IMPACT OF IT. YES, YES. WELL, ANYWAY, IT BRINGS ABOUT WHATEVER IT IS, MR. BANKS, UM, IS ABLE. HE HAS A TENDER, GOOD HEART. NOT A CHANGE OF HEART. BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS BEEN SWEET, BUT WORRIED WITH THE CARES OF LIFE.