(UPBEAT INDIE MUSIC) - # Don't take it for granted. # Love when you have it. # You might be looking over # a lonelier shoulder. # - LIAM: Dear Jenny, I'm in a rehab for vets. I think about you a lot, and I think about how I left. I know I promised not to leave you. I'm sorry it took so many months. I was pretty messed up for a while. But I'm in a good place right now, and I miss you. - # One to deceive. # I'm beginning to wonder # if anything's real. # Guess we're just at the mercy # of the way that we feel. (MUSIC CONTINUES) (DOORKNOB RATTLES) # Alive with a past # no other can share. # Alone with a heart # no other can bear. # So give me some heaven. - I'd like to see you. Let me know if you feel the same. Je t'embrasse. - # There in your smile. # (MUSIC DARKENS) - Shirley? Are you OK? Captions were made with support from NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 - DR SHARMA: With everything that's happened, do you wanna see Liam? - I mean, y` Yeah, I mean, of course I do. I just... The last time we saw each other, you know, he said, 'I love you.' He said he was sorry. And then we said goodbye. - And you thought goodbye was permanent. - Yeah, I mean, I didn't hear from him for five months. What was I supposed to think? - Well, there's no statutory limit on love. - Yeah, but I don't understand how, in my gut, I was so sure, and yet I was so wrong. You know? - Gut feelings are conditioned responses, sometimes to trauma. In your personal life, are there other people who've left? - Well, I mean, my sister died. That's leaving, I guess. - And then your mother left, Jenny. Does thinking about it shut you down? - No. No. I` - It's perfectly natural to go to a place of 'no' in your body and your mind to protect yourself. Here's some homework. For the rest of the week, I want you to say yes to everything. - (LAUGHS) - No matter what your gut says. Let your life unfold, Jenny. Surprise yourself. (SOFT MUSIC) (CELL PHONE RINGS) - (CHUCKLES) It's work. - Always on call. I can relate. So, your biopsy shows that you have solitary spinal plasmacytoma. - Uh... - A low tumour in the lumbar spine. Your lumbar puncture confirms that it hasn't spread, which is good. - OK. - The tumour explains the pain in your leg and why it progressed to your back. - OK. - Without the pain, we wouldn't have caught it as quickly as we did, so that's a good thing too. - Mm-hm. - You'll need to start a regular course of radiation as soon as possible. How about Thursdays? - (STAMMERS) Will I be able to work? - Well, there can be some side effects to the treatment. Fatigue. Nausea. But you're free to work if you feel up to it. Oh, you'll need a ride home Thursday. We don't know how you'll react to the radiation. You might need someone to take care of you. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) (INDISTINCT PANICKED SHOUTS) - MALIK: Ma'am? Please. Ma'am. Ma'am, stop. Stop. You can't go there. - WOMAN: Suddenly he was just there! I can't get fired! (SOBS) - JENNY: You're late. - Who do we have here? - Andrew Park, courier for Food Scouts. He was 65. He was hit by the van. - Cause of death, check. - Well, what you see isn't always what you get. We're gonna send the body to pathology and see what they can tell us. - Death waits on no man. - Except for this woman. - (COUGHS, GROANS) - ECHOED: Hey, Mac. - Where were you? - Minding my business. You should do the same. - Yo, are you getting some? Big D, you big dog. (CHUCKLES) - You talk to the driver? - Yeah. She said the guy came out of nowhere, ran right in front of her. - Ran? He was on foot? - All the witnesses confirm her story. - Delivery guys don't usually travel by foot. So where's his vehicle? - I'll contact Food Scouts, ask if he used a car or bike for deliveries. - All right. - Huh. * (TRANQUIL MUSIC) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) - WOMAN: Dr Cooper. - It's beautiful here. - Isn't it? I'm sorry you're here under these circumstances. Normally, this is a place of new beginnings. Right this way. - So, how does the retreat work? - It's a silent retreat. Very structured schedule. 10 days, 10 participants. They take workshops or seminars for about 12 hours each day. - Wow, that's a long day. - I think of it as a luxury. I mean, when's the last time you spent all that time on nothing but yourself? - Well, not since my son was born. Definitely not since my dad moved in. (SIGHS) - Just this way. - Did you make this maze? - It's a good metaphor for life. - Huh. (SOFT MUSIC) (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) There's no sign of injury. - This is a medical form she filled out for our records. - Shirley Brownstone. No pre-existing medical conditions, no medications. Was she exhibiting any sign of illness? - No. Nothing. In fact, she was great. Shirley had bloomed. It's crushing that she died here, of all places. - Why's that? - Because in the maze, you don't lose yourself. You find yourself. - I'm Fareed. I'm the one who found Shirley. Can I ask, how did she die? - We don't know that yet. We're gonna have to do an autopsy. - I can't believe that this happened. I mean, that she died here. She just bloomed a few days ago. - Sorry, can I ask, um... what does 'bloomed' mean? - Oh, it's an expression that Faye uses for a moment of transformation, when you finally break free of whatever pain or fear brought you here. - Hm. Does everyone experience that? - It's what we're all working towards ` when you realise that there's nothing standing between you and the life that you want. - Must be nice. - (CLICKS TONGUE) It's OK. Good. Come on. (KISSES) - Hey. (CLICKS TONGUE) - Come on. That's it. That a girl. Come on. - It's OK. - How do you think she's reacting to you today? - Come here. - Just breathe. - It's OK. - Keep going. - Yeah, easy. OK. - It's OK. Establish a connection. It's OK. - OK. OK. - Oh. - OK. She won't settle, eh? - It just takes time. (SOFT MUSIC) - Hey. You and me, OK? You and me. (HORSE WHINNIES) - Maybe tomorrow, Liam. - Yeah. - Just keep trying, little bits at a time. - Sure. (CLEARS THROAT) - She still doesn't like you. Come on. - Give it time. I'm an acquired taste. - JENNY: Andrew Park's cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. - DONOVAN: Makes sense. That van hit him pretty hard. - Yeah. I found shards of glass in his skull. I actually found something else kind of interesting too. Once I washed off all the blood, there were cuts, like knife marks, that were not from the accident. - Defensive wounds? - Yeah, looks like it. - Knife marks and running into traffic? Let me call you back. - OK. What's your body telling you? - Not much from the outside. There's no external signs of injury. She does have a rash on her legs. Poison ivy. - I've seen it in worse places. It does make sense, though. There was a lot of forest around the retreat. - Turning Tides sounds nice. - Yeah, it was peaceful. I can see how someone would bloom there. - 'Bloom'? - MELANIE: Whoa. We have a bezoar in the GI tract. - Looks like... unabsorbed pills. - It takes a lot of pills to cause a ball that size. - If Shirley had 'bloomed', then why did she take her own life? * - MALIK: I'm starting a pick-up game with the guys on Thursdays. You wanna join? - DONOVAN: I'm busy. - Every Thursday? I'm starting to think you don't have a woman. You're too tense. Are you taking a class or something? - What's the house number? - 216. It must be something embarrassing, like salsa dancing or something. - What's the guy's name? - Randy smith. You know, I'm gonna figure this out, right? Those hips don't lie. (LAUGHS) I'm detective Abed. This is detective McAvoy. Did you have food delivered yesterday? - Yeah. - Is this the guy? - Guess so. I didn't really see him. - Was he wearing a mask? - Yeah. But he looked Asian. - Well, this guy was killed yesterday, hit by a van. - I don't drive a van. - Your house was the last scheduled delivery. - Oh. - There's some indication that he had an altercation with someone. Know anything about that? - No, but that kinda thing happens all the time now. This neighbourhood's really changed. Is that all? - Yeah, for now. Why don't you, uh, give us a call if you remember or hear anything. - One more thing. Did the delivery guy leave on a bike? - Yeah. Took off like a bat out of hell. Guess he had somewhere to be. - He didn't really see him, but he 'looked Asian'? - You know, a lot of food delivery services put cameras on their vehicles for insurance purposes. - We need to find that bike. - The police did find an empty bottle of acetaminophen in your wife's room, so we have ruled it a suicide. I'm so sorry. I know this hard to hear. Had anything changed recently? Like, was she, um... Was she sad, or was she depressed at all? - The COVID crisis was hard on us, on everyone. Stuck at home, nothing to do but worry. But we were fine. I thought we were fine. Shirley said she was going to Turning Tides to re-centre herself. I didn't ask specifics. Three days ago, she left a voicemail saying she wanted a divorce. - She didn't say why? - No. The next day... she withdrew $10,000 from our account. I went there, but the woman who runs the place wouldn't let me see her, said, 'No outside contact allowed.' I just wanted to talk to her. I would never hurt my wife. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) - KID: I'm here to answer phones. I'm not going to whoo-whoo with you. - FAYE: Did you ever consider the fact that you might get something from the experience? - Did you ever consider that you're not as good at this as you think? I'm not going to do this. - I am so disappointed in you, Oliver. - You OK? - No one in this place is OK. - I'm Dr Jenny cooper. I was I was actually hoping I could speak to Faye. - She's about to start a seminar right now. One second, please. - (PHONE RINGS) - Hello. Turning Tides. Yes. (TRANQUIL MUSIC) - Hey, I'm looking for Faye` - Shh. Sorry. We're not allowed to talk to anyone outside of the workshops, and the only pleasure Oliver gets is to narc on us. - Oh. Well, he doesn't look too happy to be here. - He's Faye's son. He got kicked out of private school again. You're the coroner, right? - Yeah. I'm Jenny Cooper. - Tina. It sucks about Shirley. She seemed like a nice woman. You know, the day that she bloomed, ugh, wow, it was so powerful. - Yeah, I'm um... I'm trying to make sense of her death. I don't understand why she would kill herself if she had just bloomed, you know? - We're not really supposed to question Faye's methods. - MAN: What's wrong with you people? Can't you see this whole thing is a lie? - Whoa. - She's brainwashing you. Please, you've got to get out of here now before this place kills you too! Please! Why won't any of you listen to me?! - Sir? - I'm begging you! Please! - Sir! - Listen! Listen to me! - Hey. Hey. Hi. - You! - I'm listening. Were you a former participant? - Um... - Um, not me. My son, Jonah. - If you don't mind me asking, what happened? - Um... Well, before he came here, he was... Well, he was a little bit lost. Um... He begged us to pay for this place ` thousands of dollars. But then, when he came home... he was so much worse. - And what happened to your son? - A month after he came here, he jumped off the Humber Bay Bridge. - Ugh. - (SNIFFLES) - I'm sorry. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) - MAN: You know black don't crack, right? - DONOVAN: That's what they say. - That's what they say. Come on. - You ready? - Yeah, let's go. - Oh! - Oh, all right. - Oh, Dad, you gotta make it a little more difficult. Make it a little tougher. - You know, since you were a kid, I always let you win. - You used to let me win? Aw, that's so sweet. - But not today, baby. - Not today? - Bring your best. - All right. - Come on. Come on. No, no, no! Right now I'm gon' school you. Come on, son. Come on. - What you got? - Watch this, son! - You know that's a foul, right? - No, baby. That's game. - Ugh. You know, you used to be so much better at least hiding how badly you cheat. - Come on now. Take your beating like a man. - (SIGHS) All right, good game, pops. Good game. (TENSE MUSIC) - You wanna know how an old man like me could take you? - Cos you cheat? - (BOTH LAUGH) - Because now I'm finally living. - And what exactly were you doing before? - Paying bills. Working two jobs. Waking up at the crack of dawn. Coming home in the dead of night. Now I finally found my joy. (LAUGHS) - What's her name? - Mindy. - (LAUGHS) - Whoa, she's something else! Whoo! - Oh, I bet. - You got to see her, son. She makes a good ginger beer. Oh, I need you to water my plants. - Where are you going? - One of those all-inclusive resorts. And all the drinks are free! - OK, first of all, the drinks are not free. They're included in the thousands of dollars you pay for a vacation like that. And second, you really think it's a good idea to be going to a resort? - At least I'm not going on a cruise. - Communal spaces. Buffets. Dad, you're 70. - One day it's the virus. The next day it's something else. I'm not gonna live in that fear, son. - (CELL PHONE RINGS) - I spent my whole life waiting to shine. - Yeah, whatever. What, Malik? - You gotta go back to work? - Yeah. Just check if you can get a refund on that cruise, all right? - It's not a cruise! - Shirley was the second person to commit suicide here. - Did you know the success rate of Alcoholics Anonymous is 5% to 10%? Meanwhile, Turning Tides' success rate is 85%. - OK. But I'm still gonna have to question your methods. - I know my methods can't save everyone, but I won't turn anyone away, not even the lost causes. - So Shirley and Jonah were lost causes? - Most people leave here transformed for the better. - At what cost? Because Shirley's husband said that she took out $10,000 before she died. And he came here to talk to her about it, but you wouldn't let him in. - Beyond the registration fee, I've never taken a cent from Shirley. If you really wanna know what we're doing here, observe. - Thank you, but no. - Hm. - Ugh. Yes. (SOFT MUSIC) - I know some of you are still feeling uncertain because of the recent tragedy, and I want you all to know that this is still a very safe place. So, who would like to come up and share? Tina? Why are you here? What do you wanna let go of? - TINA: My mom, uh, was... really verbally abusive when I was a kid. It was brutal. And I could never say anything back. - Why not? - Because she would... yell more. (STAMMERS) I was afraid she was gonna beat me. - Did she ever hit you? - No, but` - Then stop making excuses. - I'm not. She squashed my spirit. I could never want anything for myself. I was afraid it would be taken from me if I spoke up, if I wanted anything. I` - Grow up. Now you're crying. Stop blaming your mother. If you don't get what you want, whose fault is it? - (SOBS) It's mine. - OK, stop. Just... What are you...? You're re-traumatising her. - If you don't agree with my methods, you're free to leave. In fact, all of you are. If anyone here still questions this process, please leave. - Are you OK? - You're saying... What you're saying is... I'm not that little girl, and my mother can't hurt me, that it's... It's my life. It's my life! It's my life. (BREATHES HEAVILY) (APPLAUSE) - Here. Yeah. Now, listen. We're gonna be friends, all right? Just you and me. We're` Oh. Hi. Hm? - Brush her. She likes it. - Yeah? - Yeah. - Is this part of my therapy? - (CHUCKLES) Not on your life. I'm only here for the horses. You know, they'll let you choose another horse. - Yeah, I know, but... I don't wanna give up on her yet. - Sometimes it's not a good fit. I've seen it happen. No connection. It's not working. Then they changes horses and... it's better. - Oh. - You're almost done here, right? - Yeah. Time to start thinking about what comes next. - Have you heard from Jenny? - Uh, no. She never answered my letter. - You know, we could use an extra hand around here. Would you consider staying on as staff? - Yeah, sure. Well, I'll think about it. (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS IN DISTANCE) - MALIK: Mac, look. I found it on Bunz. Bunz ` it's like Kijiji for hipsters. You trade and shop with people online. Some guy found it in a dumpster one block away from Randy Smith's house. - Nice work. - Thank you. And hey, I'm gonna find out about your Thursday thing, you know. - Waxing. - Oh. - It's my waxing appointment. - OK, cool. Deflect. Yes, that's fine. Huh. - There's our guy Andrew. - And there's Randy. - RANDY: Where's your mask?! - ANDREW: Y-Your food is there. - Yeah, I see the food. Where's your mask?! - Leave me alone! - You filthy people and your viruses! - Hey, hey! Easy! - And there's our knife. - Hm. And there's our defensive wounds. - Help! - Get out of here! You don't belong here! - He ran him into traffic. - (EXHALES HEAVILY) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - Hey. - Hey. - Hi. Uh, quick question. What is your official policy on cell phones? - No phones. Faye says interference from outside can make your 'bloom' wither. - Ah. OK. (CHUCKLES) Oh, and what was Shirley's room number? - Uh, number 11. - Awesome. Thank you. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) - I hope you get this. The signal here is crap. Girl, where do I begin? OK, first, I'm finally leaving Victor. I called him today and told him that it's over. Nicole, it feels amazing! I feel like myself again. And it's not just leaving victor. I'm in love! We talk every night, and I tell him things I haven't told anyone. Ugh, and he's gorgeous. Tall, beautiful eyes, and I don't even mind his beard. Bye. (QUIET, TENSE MUSIC) - (EXHALES) Fareed! (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (TENSE MUSIC) - (BRANCH SNAPS) - (GASPS) * - Need some help? - Oh. Huh. Yeah, actually, I do. I'm a little lost, and the flashlights on these... (CHUCKLES) - That's why I always bring these, just in case. - Is that... Is that poison ivy? - Yeah. I stepped in some in the woods. - Hm. And when was that? - I got claustrophobic a couple nights ago and... snuck out for a walk and a smoke. - Was Shirley with you? She had poison ivy too. - OK, it's not what you think. - Well, what should I think, Fareed? - OK, she followed me into the woods, and then she kissed me, and she said that her husband knew, and... she can't wait and we should leave that night. She kept talking about all these conversations that we had. We'd stay up late. And all the promises that I made to her? None of it was true. - What do you mean? - I never spoke to Shirley before that night. (TENSE MUSIC) - Ben? - Hey. - Hey. I'm Detective McAvoy. I'm sure your dad would like for you to have this. - Thanks. - And just so you know, we have more than enough evidence to convict the man responsible for his death. - My dad said he wanted my old bike back for exercise. - He didn't tell you he was delivering food? - He mentioned that some of his investments took a hit during the pandemic, but... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) he sent me tuition money last week. - My guess is he wanted to protect you, let you focus on school. - Who cares about school? Some racist killed my dad. He was 65 years old. He should have been retired, and now he's dead. 65 years for what? To end up like this guy on the wall? Where's the fairness in that? (SOLEMN MUSIC) - Who were you talking to, Shirley? (DISTANT HUMMING) (HUMMING CONTINUES) (HUMMING CONTINUES LOUDER) Hello? - (HUMMING STOPS) Uh, it's Jenny Cooper. I'm the coroner. What's your name? Hello? ECHOING: Look, I just... I just wanna know what happened. OK. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) Oliver. Tell me how it started. - One night, I heard her singing through the vent. I told her she had a great voice, and it kinda just kept going from there. (SHIRLEY HUMS TUNE) - SINGS: 'It is well 'with my soul. 'It is well. 'It is well with 'My soul.' - It's really cool how you sing to yourself every night. - After hard days, it picks me up. Do you ever feel like... you're defined by someone else's idea of you? - What do you mean? - Like the one person who's supposed to love you the most has no idea who you really are. - Yeah. (SIGHS) I know exactly what that's like. - (CHUCKLES) You know, let's forget this pity party. Um, if you could be anywhere right now, where would it be? First place that comes to mind. - The beach. - I've always wanted to go to Hawaii. - We should go and learn how to surf. - And only have drinks with umbrellas. (CHUCKLES) - That'd be great. - Tell me who you are. - Um... You'll know me when you see me. - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - We would have mellow conversations at first. - And then it turned into something more? - It just got too personal. - I can't talk about it. - Come on, Shirley. You know you can tell me anything. - I've... never had an orgasm. - You mean your husband never...? - Never. - Did you ever talk to him about it? - I tried. And then he tried, but... it didn't happen. Then he shut down, I shut down, and after, we pretended everything was fine. That's what he would always say ` 'We're fine.' But I want more than fine, damn it! I want more than fine. God, would you listen to me? Faye was right. I'm pathetic. - No. Don't listen to Faye. That's her thing ` to break you down, make you feel small. Shirley, you are not small. You're immense. Immensely wonderful and smart and hilarious and fun and` - Stop. Please. - No, no, no, it's true. You're the best thing about this whole place, and I can tell that through a stupid vent. - It's just... I've been so lonely... for years. Sometimes it's so heavy... I can't even get out of bed in the morning. I feel like I have no one. - You have me. - Yeah. I do. - I knew it had gone too far, but by then it was too late. - Please don't do this! Don't push me away, Fareed. - What? What're you talking about? - I'm sorry I followed you into the woods. - Oh no. Shirley, what did you do? - I know you're scared and you have a lot to lose. I do too. But I already told Victor. I already got the money. It's time for our new beginning. - I... I don't think I can do this. - What? - I can't! I can't do this anymore, Shirley! I can't! - I blew up my whole life for you! (SOBS) - I didn't mean for Shirley to hurt herself. It wasn't supposed to be real. - Well, it was real for Shirley. - (EXHALES HEAVILY) (SOFT MUSIC) - DONOVAN: Hey, Pop. - Hey! Twice in one week. (CHUCKLES) What's going on? What? What's this? - For your trip. There's another one in there for Mindy. - So all of a sudden, you don't have a problem with my vacation? - I don't wanna be the one that stops you from shining, Pops. - All right. - (BOTH LAUGH) - # Every now and then. # Makes no difference # where you're going. # You may be feeling low. # Oh, but let your face glow. # A smile is so easy, # and it comes naturally. # You must remember, yeah, # through the rain, # there'll be sunshine again. (MUSIC CONTINUES) (CELL PHONE CHIMES) # So try a little smile # every now and then. - Who is it? - It's Jenny. - # You must remember, yeah, # through the rain. # Captions by Able. Captions were made with support from NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 (MUSIC CONTINUES)