Hương fell pregnant at 20, but she didn’t know it was twins until it was time to push. In this bilingual episode, she talks with her daughters Hà and Ly about dependence, marriage, and homecomings. Hương Nguyễn didn’t know she was having two babies when she was pregnant. “I delivered Ly first. I had absolutely no idea about the twins. The doctor said I still needed to deliver one more baby.” In this penultimate and special bilingual episode of Conversations With My Immigrant Parents, Hương sits down with her twin daughters Hà and Ly and talks about wishing she had more support with raising them, what going back home to Vietnam for the first time since she left as a young woman was like, and a closeness with her daughters that is like sisterhood. The Nguyễn whānau arrived here as refugees from Vietnam, via Hong Kong, where Ly and Hà lived for the first two years of their lives. There was little food, baby clothes, or things to buy or share in the camp, and Hương tried hard to provide for her daughters. When cooking she had to balance one on her front and the other on her back. Her descriptions paint a clear picture of how different life with two babies was instead of the one she had expected. The pandemic started right when Hà’s long-term relationship ended and she moved back in with her mother in her 30s. In many ways, Hà and Hương believe this physical closeness has helped their relationship grow. As Hương describes it, “I know her more, can understand her more and really empathise with each other's stories. It's quite pleasant actually. Fun at times, too!” Despite being raised in the same environment, Hà and Ly are very different from one another, and they say they have always been treated as such. Ha recalls being asked to be translator more often for their parents and how much pressure she felt because of this, while Ly asks Hương if this is true. Both also found navigating school life difficult and Hương can empathise with why, “We didn’t know English so you had to stand on your own.” In relaying some of the current realities of her life bare in this episode, Hương admits that her marriage isn’t what it used to be, or what she wishes it could be, as well as confessing that she doesn’t exactly know what to do about this going forward. This bilingual episode couldn’t have been made without the work of translators and interpreters Celine Đàm, Thu Dzung Nguyễn, and Polo Nguyễn.

The Best of RNZ's Podcasts. Conversations With My Immigrant Parents is a podcast and video series where immigrant whānau have conversations they normally wouldn’t, crossing barriers of language, generation, and expectation. Co-hosts and producers Saraid de Silva and Julie Zhu travelled Aotearoa meeting families from different countries, sitting in as they spoke to each other about love, disappointment, what home means to them - and where home really is. Immigrant whānau across Aotearoa have frank conversations covering love, ancestry, home, food, expectation & acceptance. Made with the support of NZ On Air.