Tonight on Close Up ` NZ's shocking history of forced adoptions and the women breaking their silence after so long. longboarding through South America. It's harder than it looks. And the Kiwi songwriters in a race for Olympic glory. Due to the live nature of Close Up, captions for some items may be incomplete. ONE News captions by Faith Hamblyn and Chris Leggett. Close Up captions by June Yeow and Richard Edmunds. The bond between mother and baby is one of life's strongest. What if the baby's torn away, you're left alone and no one's on your side? Tens of thousands of NZ women experienced that from the 1940s to the 1970s, when they were forced to give their baby up for adoption, coerced by the state. Why? They were unmarried! In Australia, overnight, an 18-month inquiry into adoption practices ended with a recommendation the government apologise. Here in NZ, women who suffered the same fate want our government to act. Mark Crysell met one such woman, Merilyn, who's broken four decades of silence to tell her story. For almost 40 years, this woman has carried a deep secret. Lived a lie. So there will be people watching this interview who you've worked with, who you've known, who won't know this about you at all? My first cousins won't know, no, because it was never talked about. I was never allowed to. About 12 years ago, the phone rang at Merilyn McAuslin's house. I thought he was selling me something, and he said, 'You are my mother. I am your son.' And that came as an absolute bombshell. In 1973, Merilyn, unmarried, gave birth to a boy in Waikato Hospital. She'd been told to forget about him, but now on the other end of the line was the boy she'd been forced to adopt out. For two days here, I sat here. I couldn't breathe. I just cried. I couldn't go to work. I was just frozen still. She told no one... until today. I didn't know it was wrong. I just knew that I felt bad and worthless. Between the 1940s and 1970s, tens of thousands of vulnerable, young unmarried women were coerced by the state and society into giving up their babies. Having a child outside of wedlock was seen as scandalous. And I'm aware that a number of women commit suicide over this ` go to their graves without telling their children. And so this, for the first time, is Merilyn's story. My mother never talked to me about sex, contraception, anything. She was a 21-year-old teaching at Napier Girls High School in 1973 when she became pregnant. The headmistress gave her no options. She said, 'Well, you're single and pregnant. You won't be able to stay. You'll need to resign. 'Write a letter. This is what you say.' Her pupils were distraught. One of them wrote to her. READS: 'I would like to thank you so much. You helped me when I had stress with my exams.' And she asked me to get back to her, and I never did because of the situation. Would you have ever told them? No. Never. Never, never, never. I said I was going to South Africa. Instead, her mother sent her to a farm in Waikato. Back then, it was known as 'going north' ` young, pregnant girls sent out of town, often to church-run homes, to have babies and avoid scandal. Merilyn's mother made her wear a wedding ring. Why did she give me the ring? Because people would think I was married and it would be respectable. The education department found out where she was and harassed her over the phone to pay back her teacher's bond. Oh, he was going to make my mother pay back the money. He was going to` I mean, I'm so innocent. He said, 'I'm going to force` You've got to go back. 'I'm gonna make you go back.' In the end, I said, 'Can you ring my doctor, please?' But I never heard from him again. On May 29th 1973, Merilyn gave birth on her own in Waikato Hospital. She underwent the entire procedure without local anaesthetic. They put me in a huge room in one corner; the baby in the other corner, diagonally. That was the` I didn't know that was to be my only opportunity to see him, but I was so, um, butchered down below from this experience that could only be barbaric that I couldn't move. The nurses lied to her that she had syphilis and was to be placed in isolation, but one of the doctors told them to bring the baby to her. The nurse went and got the baby, and he left, and in came a more senior nurse and yelled at me and yelled at my mother and said, 'You can't have that baby. 'You're not allowed to.' And so she took him away again. Do you feel that the medical staff was treating you differently because you were an unmarried mother? Yes. Absolutely. I felt so shameful. Yes, awful. Just awful. Stuck` You know, stuck in the bedroom, and I wasn't allowed out. I felt it the whole time. They wouldn't leave a married woman alone to go into labour and then shove it in a corner. Another government agency, Social Welfare, had told Merilyn she would have to give up the baby. Every sentence was couched with, 'If you love your baby, you will have him adopted to a good home 'with a mother and father. You can't look after this child. You can't give a baby what it wants.' And within weeks, she was taken to a lawyer. He made me swear on the Bible that I would never make any attempt at looking for my son. He covered up the whole contract and told me to sign it, and then said, 'The adoptive parents are paying for this. You're very lucky.' Merilyn kept the secret for almost 25 years ` remember, there are members of her family who won't know until they watch this ` then she got that phone call. And this is her son Damian today via Skype, from Ireland, where he now lives. How's Auckland? Wonderful. We've had a rainy summer, though. Oh, well, make a nice change (!) (LAUGHS) Damian has no complaints about the South Island family who brought him up, but he supports his birth mother's attempt to bring this into the open. I'm delighted she's doing it. I'm delighted for her. I'm delighted for anyone who's going to be helped by this. I think it's fantastic. I'm with Merilyn 100% behind this, and I'm very proud of her. She and her other son went to the Damian's wedding. They get on like a house on fire, but it's bittersweet. She can't look at photos of him growing up. I've gone through my life with a strong feeling of poor self-worth. You don't get time back, do you? So meeting him doesn't make it right for me. It doesn't give me my baby back, does it? And as Australia considers whether to apologise to the women they forced into adoption, Merilyn and tens of thousands of other NZ women want our government to break their own silence. I want more than sorry, actually. I want them, as well as saying they're sorry, to actually` to really` I'd rather that they just acknowledge that the government stood up and said, 'This is what we did to people, and we shouldn't have, 'and these women didn't give away their babies to strangers.' To actually` I'd like the government to get up and talk about it. The producer on that story was Vanessa Forrest. The Australians then think this is an issue worthy of a formal apology. Does our government? I put that to Justice Minister Judith Collins a little earlier. I think it's really important, Mark, to think back to those times. Many of these mothers were certainly told by their parents that they had to give up their babies. The government, certainly, at the time didn't say they had to. But it was very very difficult for them, and particularly those before the DPB came in. Do you think it was different here than it was in Australia? I mean, the Senate inquiry there has found that, in effect, the state was a party to it. Well, I think it probably was a little different. But I've been involved with women like Merilyn. Before I came into Parliament, I used to be a lawyer, and I did quite a lot of work with the movement out of adoption. I've met a lot of these mothers. And, actually, mostly, it was societal values at the time that were coercing them along that track, and I can understand how they feel; that they'd like an apology. But, look, at the end of the day, these were decisions made by their family members, and frankly, society frowned very deeply on unwed mothers of babies. You're saying no? Well, I'm saying that I'm not sure that it would achieve anything for Merilyn and the other mothers. I know, pretty much, what happened` They think it'll achieve something for them, Minister. They desperately want this. Well, I know that there's plenty of adoptive parents, too, Mark, and plenty of other birth mothers who would say, actually, they've tried to get on with their lives, it's very difficult for them, and they're not sure that that would necessarily be in their best interests. But I think most of us who are old enough to remember those days remember what was happening, and we do know what happened. The idea` I mean, you heard it. Someone's 'going up north for a while' was the euphemism for exactly that. Look, there is a practical thing, maybe, you could help them with. This is one thing they raised with us. I've got a birth certificate here. This is for Merilyn's son. Now, her name isn't on it. It can't even be on it. Mm. Is there some way of changing that or acknowledging that? Well, we'd have to make changes to the Adoption Act 1955. I can tell you, Mark, there are people who want us to change the Adoption Act to make it much easier for people to adopt; for children to be put up for adoption. There are other people, like Merilyn, who feel very strongly that they were badly treated by it. So I'm not sure that that's something we can do if` you know, when they've had adoptive parents who have taken over the role of parents. So we've also got to consider that. Maybe we could look at that; what we could do there. You mentioned there the Adoption Act 1955, and that is, I think, part of the problem, because nothing has really changed since then. I know that in other jurisdictions they say someone looking at giving up their baby must get counselling, whereas here the rule seems to be you can't do it until after 10 days. What I can tell you, too, Mark, is that back in 1955, people didn't have counselling. People came back from the war, all these sorts of things ` they didn't. But also` Does that mean they shouldn't have it now? Oh, no, no, no. But I tell you what, Mark ` we have only about 100 stranger adoptions a year in this country. The time that Merilyn's talking about, she was part of, I think, about 2700 in a year. So, I mean, it's a completely different situation now. But I do say, for people like Merilyn, I don't think anybody ` unless they've lost a child ` would know what she's gone through. Look, finally, Minister, I think you're the fourth Justice Minister they've come to to try and get something done in this. Do they have to wait for a fifth? Well, I think that we need to work out what would actually make a real difference for people like Merilyn. And I'm always happy to look at what we can do, but I think, too, we need to realise there are a lot of others who would rather that we didn't do this. Justice Minister Judith Collins, appreciate your time tonight. Thank you. Now, if you want to comment on this story, email us at... And we're on Facebook too. Coming up ` skating through South America might look like fun,... All right. ...but it's not without its dangers. DOGS BARK Go away! And how you can vote for the song that'll represent our team at the London Olympics. Skateboarding 1600km through the Andes and the driest desert on Earth may not be everyone's ideal holiday. Throw in an attack by a viscous dog pack, water running out and three days surviving on biscuits ` I can only hope they were chocolate ` and you've got what most would call an absolute disaster. But not everyone. Matt Chisholm with three young men on a mission. THE XX'S 'INTRO' Going down hills on a skateboard is probably the best thing in the world. Yeah, rolling down hills with these parachutes, and you're just looking out over the... the whole world. It's just amazing. When you felt yourself getting too fast and needed some control,... Wooph! Like a flying squirrel. And they slow you right down, and you gain a lot of control just like that. How fast would you be going downhill? > My top speed was about 70 down this huge hill in the Andes. Going uphill, you go about 5K. Auckland today; last month, South America, and it was epic. We'll probably die if we don't get water. Three mates on longboards skating 1600km through Chile and Peru,... It was stupid, but it was fun. Yeah. (LAUGHS) ...taking on the Andes and the Atacama Desert ` that's the driest bit of dirt on Earth. There's nothing out here,... (PANTS) apart from road and sand. Thirsty work? > Very thirsty. It was. We got through about 10 litres of water a day. Ended up in the middle of the desert. We'd run out of water, and we were trying to hail down trucks, asking them for water as they were going past, getting whatever water we could off them. Agua, por favor. No. No agua. We went two days without food and water at one stage. It was getting pretty gnarly. Hopefully there's an ATM in this town. Otherwise we're <BLEEP>ed. All right. By day three of this five-week mission, the prankster Guy wanted to head for home. I definitely did. You guys were still charging. And I was, like, 'Man, I'm going uphill, there's buses going past every day 'that'll travel the same distance that we travel in a day ` they'll do that in an hour or half an hour.' Yeah. And I was, like, 'Man, I'm gonna get on one of those, and I'll see you guys in the next town. 'I'll be there, drinking Coronas and Pisco, and you guys will just skate in and I'll see you there.' We stopped him from getting on a bus. ALL LAUGH DOGS BARK This dog attack meant Troy, too, very nearly didn't make it to the end. They were just killing machines. Yeah. They probably saw me as just a big steak on a platter coming towards them. DOGS BARK Go away! My life flashed before my eyes. I was just, like, 'I'm gonna die, 'but I'm gonna go down with a good fight.' And I just swung my board around and collected about two of them, and just standing there, yelling and hitting them with my board, just trying to get them to go away. And they were biting me. There was a bit of blood. So have you had your rabies shots? > Uh, yes, I got 'em. Yep. Yep. She injected me... In the buttocks. ...in the buttocks with some sort of vaccine. And the thing is when you're skating long distances, you don't wear underpants, cos we don't have room to carry underpants. You guys free-balled it for 1600K? That's one of the benefits; one of the perks. Yeah, commando the whole way. HORN TOOTS Another challenge ` the traffic. These trucks, sometimes, would literally be inches from knocking you off your board or just completely taking you out. You had to be constantly on your toes. Were your parents worried about you at all? ALL CHUCKLE They didn't really know what we were up to. Despite the tough times, these boys learned to laugh at their plight. We ran out of sunblock, so we had to roll around in the dirt. (CHUCKLES) But why were they putting themselves through such a gruelling ordeal? We wanted to raise a bit of awareness about sustainable travel. How can flying to South America be good for the environment? Would you do this story if we'd skated around the perimeter of Auckland a couple of times? ALL LAUGH The boys had their trip Carbonzero-certified, where they measured, managed and offset their greenhouse-gas emissions. Helping, basically, native forest regenerate itself through doing plantation plots. As young men in your early 20s, why are you thinking about the environment? For us, it was a great thing to support while we had a lot of fun skateboarding through a foreign country. # Tonight, # we are young. Providing we all do our bit, the boys reckon there'll be plenty more amazing adventures ahead. You were yarning about Antarctica or some ridiculous idea, weren't you? Antarctica, yeah, on a board with skis instead of wheels. Big spike wheels or something, yeah. Could be the go. # We are young. # So let's set the world on fire. # If you want to know more about Troy, Alan and Guy's charity adventures, you can go to... Coming up, the Kiwi songs that could represent our team at the Olympics, and how you can vote for your favourite. What would you say actually makes an Olympic anthem? Do I walk away from the song thinking I'm charged by it? Forget getting in training for the Olympics. How about getting in tune? Singer-songwriters across the country are vying for the right to pen our Olympic anthem ` a torch song I guess. From 200 original entries, it been whittled down to 10, and you can help choose the winner. Gill Higgins and the songs designed to spur us on to Olympic glory. UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS Major sporting events kind of need a song. UPBEAT MUSIC NZ have won it! # It's up to you. # # The emotion. # I want something gives you the heebie-jeebies and goosebumps and makes you, kind of, feel good before a game. UPLIFTING MUSIC But how to find that one song that can capture the mood of a nation? Well, you start with a request. 'There is a Olympic song-writing competition. Who's got a song?' And boof! They all came in. 200 entries from your average musical Kiwi. Today it's brilliant. You can have a little laptop computer with a little pinhole microphone on it. I just thought, 'I have to do this.' Emily, a former gymnast herself, was studying in the States when she heard about the competition. (SINGS SOFTLY) You become so much more patriotic, you know, when you're overseas. # Raise up your flag. # Raise up your... # flag. And it was standing on the podium in the Youth Olympics that inspired her lyrics. The flag went up and the anthem was being played, and the people in the crowd had their flags, and it was just... You know, it was just, like... The memory of that moment was really amazing. # Rivers run free, # just like me. With the river, sort of, analogy, I picked out the four things I really remembered about growing up here. # You're from NZ. # I love the verses. It's, like, 'I am the personification of NZ.' It works well for me. Of all the ones we've listened to, that's the one that's moved me the most. Mike Chunn's real job is bringing on new talent, so he was a natural choice as an anthem judge. He's joined by Olympic organiser Dave Currie and Black Stick Anita Punt. Her natural habitat is on the hockey pitch. But she's here in the studio to be an ear for the athletes. FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS It doesn't give you the goosebumps or the... that you need before a game. For every song, the same process. I'll push play. # Flashback. # What I reckon's really cool about this is that... she's a schoolgirl. It goes into this great chorus, 'Jump.' # Jump... into the world. # OK. Maybe. Next! # With ferns on our hearts... # # Long white cloud... # You can't just throw a bunch of cliches and say, 'Well, that covers it. 'I've got black, long white cloud and ferns and Aotearoa and all that...' It's not good enough. # Me ta mahi ka ora. Cos that's the Kiwi way. # Rousing. Yeah. (CHUCKLES) They've now got it down to 10 finalists ` one who learnt her trade busking on Auckland's streets. What number's that? GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS Lovely guitar-playing on this. Yeah. I tried to imagine that I was an... you know, an Olympic athlete. # You stand tall. # You stand strong. 'Stand tall' is about more than physical achievement. It's about standing tall inside. # You stand me up. # If people sing along, then that's the... test of an anthem. What would you say actually makes an Olympic anthem? Do I walk away from the song thinking I'm charged by it? CROWD CHEERS Because it needs to be a song that drives athletes to achieve... # When the time is right, yeah. # ...and inspires spectators to cheer. # I'm doing the impossible. # What do you think this will mean to the person that has the Olympic anthem? It'll be a glorious moment in their life. (PLAYS GUITAR) # We wish you well. # So if you want to vote for NZ's official Olympic anthem, So if you want to vote for NZ's official Olympic anthem, head to www.nz2012.com and click on 'contests'. Voting ends at the end of the month. Feedback now, and we've got some very opposing views on the adoption issue. Judy says... Pam says... Sumner emailed in... Dave says... That's NZ Close Up. Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air.