Tonight on 20/20 ` FAST ELECTRONIC MUSIC ENGINES REV These kids are going places fast. My heart rate's up a lot. I'm sweating really badly. We meet the midgets of speedway. Two adults turned round and were like, 'Do you race? You're so small.' One man, multiple wives... Joe is a polygamist. He has three wives ` Alina, Vicki and Val. ...and 24 children. I wish that my dad could never go to jail. Oh! Are you worried about that? Are the rest of you worried about that at all? Also ` her father was a hit man. I mean, as far as being a hit man, I-I actually was good at it. She stars in a reality TV show. This is to` to Karen Gravano. The mob daughter talks to 20/20 about growing up gangster. www.tvnz.co.nz/access-services Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright TVNZ Access Services 2012 Kia ora. I'm Sonia Wilson. There's no doubt that racing around a track in a powerful car as fast as you can is risky. In fact, just this past weekend, the speedway community tragically lost one of its drivers at a crash at Huntly. But it was, supporters say, a rare death in a sport that emphasises safety. Tonight we bring you a unique insight into the young ones who are being constantly drilled with those safety procedures, as they learn the ins and outs of the track, the motors and the finances. They're the future of speedway ` the 12 to 16-year-olds who are allowed behind the wheel. Hannah Ockelford with three of the rising stars of mini stocks. FAST ELECTRONIC MUSIC Throttle and thrust. My heart rate's up a lot. I'm sweating really badly, and it's just... (EXHALES LOUDLY) Dirt and dust. GIRL: You have, like, the power, and you're going so fast. FAST DANCE MUSIC Welcome to speedway, where the kids are in control. Two adults turned round and were like, 'Do you race? Do you race?' And I was like, 'Yeah.' They were like, You're so small.' FAST ELECTRONIC MUSIC It's, like, really intense. And, like, you're strapped in so tight, you can, like, hardly breath. GIRL: I love the starts of races, cos you're waiting and watching the flag, and you've, kind of, got your feet, kind of, half off the clutch, half on the accelerator, and you just, kind of, go for it. # I just want to make you sweat. # FAST DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES BOY: You just focus on that one thing, of driving as hard as you can. And it's just` It takes over you, and you just drive. It's full-throttle fun, but not for the faint-hearted, or the financially frivolous. If you've never been to a speedway event, have a look, and you'll see it's a lot more professional than people think. A little further up the ranks and a mere weekend's racing can cost $40K, car and trailer not included. To race a mini stock it's a minimum 10-grand spend just to get on the track. He's helped us out a lot. We wouldn't be racing without him. Steve Williams is one of mini stock's main mentors, and he puts his money behind his words. If you wanna further your progress, you've got to know how to approach sponsors. 14-year-old Ben Neve is one of the lucky ones. Yeah, he's a really nice guy. Yeah, firm handshake. (LAUGHS) We sent him a sponsorship letter late last year, and, um, we just asked him if he'd be keen. And we got a reply about a month afterwards, saying that, 'you've been selected'. And we were really shocked. And then we` first meeting, we went over and saw him, and I won the first race. So that was a really good start. Winning races is great, but that has a-a very little part of it. Perhaps it's surprising advice from the Kiwi caddy who's made a career out of big wins. Ben's a Huntly competitor; I'm a Huntly competitor. Like tonight, I'll get as much fun watching him race as I will get racing tomorrow night. It's just` It's fun. MELODIC GUITAR MUSIC I'm just going out there to have fun. # There you go, way too fast. # Don't slow down. You're gonna crash. # Less than 5ft tall and just 48kg, Kendyll Ashton is a mere 12 years old. But this is one place where she's encouraged into the driver's seat. I'm not the fastest person out there, but I'm getting faster. Do you understand your motor? Do you understand your motor? No. (GIGGLES) I'm not that kind of girl. FUN ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES I'm probably more of, like` more leaning towards a girlie girl. So you're not a petrolhead? So you're not a petrolhead? SLOWLY: No. Not as much as some. It's great, and I really love it, but it's just another thing that I do. GENTLE PIANO MUSIC Something amongst many things. Well, it's definitely more relaxing than racing. It's best not to put Anne-Marie in a box. COW LOWS Every activity seems almost conflicting. (PLAYS FLUTE) Yet, for this multi-talented, multi-layered teen, somehow it makes total sense. I am very proud that I've managed to do all this over all the years, and school, and` Cos I work very hard at school too, so I'm quite` not modest, but I'm kind of a top student at school too. So, yeah, I'm proud that I've managed to do everything and I can do everything. GEORGE THOROGOOD'S 'ONE BOURBON, ONE SCOTCH, ONE BEER' At school I have two other guys that race like me, and it's just, we` that's all we talk about ` racing, racing, racing. And it's just` it's taken over my life, to be honest. Ben's focus is all about the track. We're spending a few hours a night just to get the car ready. Nice long strokes, so from here, you wanna put nice... His three part-time jobs and dedication to racing chew up any spare time. Dad's been teaching me all that stuff ` all the set-ups and whatnot for ages. After three seasons, Ben and his assistants are near to perfecting the prep. FUN ROCK MUSIC PA: So, get another good start away... ENGINES REV, TYRES SCREECH I take it that black-and-white flag means he won? He did. He did. (LAUGHS) It was a very exciting race. He's going to be stoked. He's going to be stoked. Yes, he will be. He will be. When Ben wins, it's success shared with the family,... It's my third win this season, so I'm pretty happy with that, yeah. ...because without their support, racing would be impossible. I'm part of it too. I, sort of, feed them, keep them watered, wash the car, keep it and` and just reminder of, you know, little things. And it keeps the family together. Keeps` We're all out together, rather than do our own thing. Me, Dad, Ryan and Mum are... That's us. FAST ELECTRONIC MUSIC It's the same story for every driver. Go hard, eh? Find yourself a nice dry line, and go for it. My dad has always raced at speedway. And then my sister, who's three years older than me, she got into it. And then my mum also raced off-roaders before that. It seems you're born into the murky beauty of speedway. Dad's dad did it ` Pop-Pop did it. And everybody's done it since. CHEERING Kendyll's one of eight, and in some way, each one of them has a hand on the wheel. They said to me, 'If you want to, you're gonna end up doing it.' Sisters helping, brothers racing; little ones simply getting familiar with the tools of the trade. ENGINES REV LOUDLY Seeing the Ashtons in action, committed to the dust and fumes, proves racing rallies respect. YELLING Like when Dad wins. It's Kendyll and her brother that get to show him off. It's an amazing feeling that you're out there. And, like, the only two mini stocks out there are mine and my brother's, and it's, like ` it's so cool. And like when the boys race the girls. Once you're out on the track, a car's a car. Even when they get beaten by the girls. Good race, darling. If they drove better on the day, then that's their victory. How do the boys treat you? Most of them just treat you like equals and just, kind of, race like they would with any other boys. You wanna be out there, and you want to respect everybody, otherwise you can get trailered and stuff. Trailered's being turfed off the track. And it happens when the officials deem you a danger. You see, safety's paramount in this sport, where speed rules supreme, and especially for the overaged, and in this case oversized, too. SOTTO VOCE: It's a bit tight. (GRUNTS) Thanks, Kendyll. There's a fair bit to do before Kendyll and I rip up the dirt. Sometimes you wish you were smaller. (LAUGHS) ENGINE REVS Finally, we're off. HEAVY ROCK MUSIC HUMOROUS PARADE MUSIC In terms of how fast you go when you go out, when you're actually racing, how were we compared to that? I'd probably go, like, quite a bit faster. Quite a bit faster. (CHUCKLES) Quite a bit faster. (CHUCKLES) Not that fast, though. Well, you were very kind not to make me look stupid. Well, you were very kind not to make me look stupid. BOTH GIGGLE To be honest, I think I managed that one successfully on my own. Thanks for letting me, um, have a go out there. What you can't see from simply watching is just how skilled these young drivers are. Well, I felt quite proud that I could drive before I could get my licence. That's a road licence she's talking about. They need one on the track too. And newbies, like Kendyll, have to earn it. KENDYLL: I haven't got my licence, so I can't move off the pole line yet. Pole line is the concrete thing around the track. And, um, newbies have to stay around that just to get used to the track and everything. Until her track mentor decides she's ready, Kendyll will keep wearing a tag of inexperience. One guy span out right in front of me, and I accidentally hit him. But I went up and said sorry. The newbies are labelled because the risks are real. SAD PIANO MUSIC Two years ago, 15-year-old Samantha Mouatt lost her life on the track. SAD PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES It is the only death in mini stocks' 10-year history. With the amount of kids that are racing around the country in these mini stocks, and there's very little incidents, it just shows that Speedway NZ are doing a very good job, as far as, um, the safety of the sport. But crashes are commonplace ` simply part of the regular mix. I've been hit right up the back of my car, and that hurt, like, up here and gave me red rashes and stuff. I've never took a really really hard hit, so I haven't got really badly hurt, but some people have. ENGINES REV Sometimes there's incidents and accidents, and I have` I-I can` I must say, I have caused, maybe, a few, but not purposely. < Surely not, Ben (!) < Surely not, Ben (!) (LAUGHS) Not on purpose. And I just try to be as clean as I can. For parents on the sidelines, the hits are hard to handle. The roll I had was one of the worst. I completely destroyed the car. (SCREAMS) Trudy's watched both her boys crash. (SCREAMS) Oh my God! It's all right, Trudy. It's all right. It's fine. It, sort of, really slowed me down. But I got back up to confidence. The kids love it. They get a laugh when they roll upside down. When you're racing speedway, it's not if you're gonna get upside down, it's when you're going to get upside down. The kids find it quite funny. ELECTRONIC MUSIC Safety's been drilled in, along with self-belief and confidence. When you do sport, you've got to accept failure. I mean, that's part of it. Failure is one of the ways you get successful. If you never have failure, you know, you're not going to do any good. What would you say to the kids who think they couldn't do this? What would you say to the kids who think they couldn't do this? That they can. # Sweat. # Sweat. # I just wanna make you sweat. # What awesome kids. Next up on 20/20 ` one man, three wives and 24 children. We take a look at the life of a polygamist. And on your wedding day, did both of you wear a wedding dress? And on your wedding day, did both of you wear a wedding dress? Mm-hmm. A whole new meaning to double wedding. That night, when it comes time to consummate two marriages, a painful choice has to be made. Two decades later it is still a sensitive topic. Obviously somebody has to be first. And that was a very difficult and private decision that we had to make. MC HAMMER'S 'U CAN'T TOUCH THIS' RAPS: # When you gotta go, think of this rhyme. Grab your Pull-Ups, then stop ` potty time. # Pull-Ups fit you like a pro. There's sealable sides in case you go. # All because you're a big kid now. Stop ` potty time. # a Welcome back. Most polygamist families don't share their lifestyle with the outside world, for fear of persecution and discrimination. 42-year-old Joe Darger, however, has three wives and 24 children. And tonight he's telling his story to 20/20. Joe discusses his wives Alina, Vicki and Val, their lifestyle, their faith and their decision to talk now. GUITAR MUSIC The golden grasslands of suburban Salt Lake county, Utah, are a land of secrets. Entire families living in the shadows to protect husbands and fathers from going to prison for polygamy. But today there is one secret less,... Very good. Here we go. ...because Joe Darger is ready for his close-up. This is an act of civil disobedience, for sure. Joe is a polygamist. He has three wives ` Alina, Vicki and Val ` and 24 children. # ...such a nice surprise. # But they're not like the isolated and old-fashioned disciples of Warren Jeffs, who shun the outside world, and whose wives are covered from neck to ankle. Just go to hell. Polygamists, whose leader counted girls as young as 12 among his 87 wives, and who's now in a Texas prison for life. We are law-abiding in every other way. I'm in a felonious relationship. That's a decision we made, and we have to explain that. The Dargers are a typical modern family, albeit a very large one. Oh yeah, you got him! Good job! They live in a typical rural neighbourhood on the outskirts of Salt Lake City. They dress like anyone else. Dad works in construction management. The kids go to public schools. What sets them apart is their fervent belief that polygamy is a divine instruction. Why is sharing your husband with other women bringing you closer to God? It was always, I guess, just part of what I felt would help fulfil everything in me. Like, the height of unselfish love and build a large family that I always wanted. Couldn't you do that in a monogamous relationship? It just felt like it was the right thing to do. I'd searched my soul and prayed and felt like it was where I should be. They don't have to be reminded that polygamy is against the law. This photo from 1945 includes five of the Dargers' grandfathers entering Utah state prison ` convicts for having multiple wives. Growing up, Joe, Alina, Vicki and Val learned from their parents that plural marriage is best practised in secret. You feel like you have to keep the fact that you're a polygamist family a secret. You've lost business. You paid a price financially. Yeah, I feel like we're just, kind of, the underground. One time we were holding hands in the store, and he dropped my hand and started walking way ahead of me, because there was somebody from work that he saw that he knew, you know` because there was somebody from work that he saw that he knew, you know` ...that knew me. On the spot, you don't really know how to handle it, and I got it. The potential cost of being too public with their lifestyle was highlighted earlier this year... MAN: Love should be multiplied, not divided. ...when the family featured in the reality TV show Sister Wives had to flee to Nevada after the state of Utah opened an investigation. Are you willing to go to jail for this principle of polygamy? Let's just say we're not going to move to Nevada. This is our home. We're staying here. Still, Joe was conflicted, because he doesn't want to send the wrong message to his family. We don't want to teach our children it's OK to break the law. Instead, Joe, Alina, Vicki and Val decided to write a book about what they see as their healthy, happy family. The story of this family begins 23 years ago when Joe began dating Alina and Vicki at the same time. I found I was in love with both of them just from hanging around. They were coming round. I could tell they both liked me, and I had a connected to both of them early on. I looked at Vicki, and I'm, like, 'Hey, she's my friend, and I love her. 'We're both open to it, and he's a really good guy, and, you know, let's see if this can work.' It helped that Joe and his two girlfriends were all from plural families. Joe grew up in a family with four moms. Vicki had three. Alina had two. Incredibly, one would think, the dual courtship flourishes, and with the eventual approval of the 12 parents involved, Joe proposes to both Alina and Vicki. You got down on one knee... ALL CHUCKLE ALL CHUCKLE ...and took Alina's hand and Vicki's hand? Yeah. Yeah. Asked them both to marry you? Yeah. Yeah. So they even shared the proposal? ALL CHUCKLE ALL CHUCKLE And on your wedding day, did both of you wear a wedding dress? Mm-hm. Whole new meaning to double wedding. That night, when it comes time to consummate two marriages, a painful choice has to be made. Two decades later, it is still a sensitive topic. Obviously, somebody has to be first, and that was a very difficult and private decision that we had to make. I've got to be honest. I think I would have a really hard time with that if I were one of you. Right, and I think you would if you didn't understand or you didn't come from the whole picture ` the faith, the family. the faith, the family. And then one night in comes Val. ALL CHUCKLE 10 years into their marriage, the spark has fizzled a bit when another woman catches Joe's eye ` Vicki's identical twin sister, Val. Didn't you think it would be a little weird? Things are about to get complicated. Right, next up on 20/20, we meet some of the 24 children and discuss, amongst other things, marrying your sister-in-law. Joe says at first he dismissed his sudden attraction to Val, but within months, at the urging of both Vicki and Alina, he proposes, immortalising the moment in this photo. She's your twin sister, Vicki. The two of you are identical twins. Didn't you think it would be a little weird? Didn't you think it would be a little weird? I guess I didn't at the time. MC HAMMER'S 'U CAN'T TOUCH THIS' RAPS: # When you gotta go, think of this rhyme. Grab your Pull-Ups, then stop ` potty time. # Pull-Ups fit you like a pro. There's sealable sides in case you go. # All because you're a big kid now. Stop ` potty time. # a Welcome back. In part two of our story 'Big Love', we look at how a house with 24 children functions and talk about the day Joe fell for his sister-in-law. GUITAR MUSIC Joe Darger has been married to Alina and Vicki for 23 years, but over all the years of their marriage, one moment stands apart, frozen in time. It was 11 years ago when Vicki's identical twin sister, Val, paid a visit, and all of a sudden, Joe and Val locked eyes from across the room. What was that exactly? What was that exactly? I saw her soul in a different light than I'd ever seen, and it was just really a strong connection, thinking, 'Wow.' You turned away, because you didn't want Alina and Vicki to see it. You turned away, because you didn't want Alina and Vicki to see it. Yeah. Which, by the way, they did. Which, by the way, they did. I know. You know, I'm very faithful, and I wasn't expecting that. It caught me off guard. Joe says at first he dismissed his sudden attraction to Val, but within months, at the urging of both Vicki and Alina, he proposes, immortalising the moment in this photo. She's your twin sister, Vicki. The two of you are identical twins. Didn't you think it would be a little weird? Didn't you think it would be a little weird? I guess I didn't at the time. Um, I just` I missed her a lot, too. It really was a, 'What can we add to the love and the creation of our family?' No other way would it have worked, and we knew that. Four months later, Val and Joe are married, and immediately, jealously rears its head among the sister wives. When he first brought up the idea of going to Hawaii for the honeymoon, then Alina just, 'I don't want to talk about this right now.' then Alina just, 'I don't want to talk about this right now.' ALL CHUCKLE 'Let's talk about that in a few days. Hmm.' 'Let's talk about that in a few days. Hmm.' ALL LAUGH Alina and Vicki laugh now, but at the time, it was hard to welcome Joe's sizzling new relationship with Val into their home long after the spark in their marriages had settled down. Did you learn quickly you can't go to Alina and say, 'I had the best time with Val'? I remember him saying that to me one time, and... I'd put my foot in my mouth, not knowing what they were going through. I had to step back and go, 'OK, she's marrying a family. This is about family. This isn't about just her and I.' Boy, it was a rocky, rocky road. You're aware that the other two are struggling. Yeah. I just know that's a hurtful, hard thing, and how do you balance that out? They just have to trust I love all of them and I'm trying to do the best I can. Do you love all of them equally? Do you love all of them equally? Absolutely, yeah. Equally, but separately. We just have it on a rotation. You know, so every third night would be what we call my night. Every third night is his night. Every third night is his night. ALL CHUCKLE Ooh. Ooh. It's my night tonight. Ooh. It's my night tonight. Aren't you excited? No, Joe, it's your night every night. No, Joe, it's your night every night. ALL CHUCKLE I'm not saying anything here. They admit where it concerns sex and jealousy, polygamy is an emotional minefield. Just seeing Joe head out on a date arm in arm with one of his other wives can be a trigger. How do you not feel the human emotions of jealousy? 'Is he going to like her more than me?' Wouldn't a flip-off switch be great? It would be great. It would be great. 'I don't have to feel this today.' It would be great. 'I don't have to feel this today.' We do feel it, though. > How do you ladies not imagine your husband in intimate situations with your sister wives? I don't know that you don't. A thought pops up in your mind unbidden sometimes. That must be hard. It's been really hard and, you know, caused me some tears. Like the morning Val went into Vicki's bedroom and made an upsetting discovery. Her daughter was making Vicki's bed, and she wasn't there. It was after Vicki's night, and she was pulling the sheets down to pull them back up, and she pulled out a pair of Joe's underwear. And, so, I was, like, 'Oh, I didn't just see that. ALL CHUCKLE 'I got to go.' And I went crying to Joe, and it made me think about it, and it was really hard. How was school? Joe Darger arrives home from work to the usual scene of organised mayhem. Hi, ladies. There's homework,... I've already read this book. I've already read this book. That's a big book. ...boys to get to football practice, meals to prepare, kids to manage, babies to wash... BABY CRIES BABY CRIES I'm sorry. ...and load after load of laundry. We're a great test on these machines, you know. Consumer reports call. (CHUCKLES) We'll tell you. But everything gets done, and this household runs like a finely tuned machine. Beginning at 5 years of age, the Darger children all have chores ` cooking, cleaning and caring for their younger siblings. ...not just commit adultery, but those that think adulterous thoughts. The underpinnings for everything in this family is visible on Sunday mornings, when Joe Darger leads his flock through religious worship. READS: Who shall be in danger of hell fire? When he's speaking, he's speaking about our spiritual state. Their homemade Sunday service is mostly a private affair. Even the small children know it's best not to share their belief in polygamy with neighbours and school friends. # Those who can't and tear your world apart. # The Dargers' teenagers are acutely aware of the outside world's dim view of families like theirs. Some of them agonised over whether they should appear on 20/20 and risk facing ridicule in high school. Does it make you nervous going on national TV to talk about your family? I'm not very worried about it any more. I kind of am. I kind of am. You're kind of a little worried? I kind of am. You're kind of a little worried? I still want friends. I'm just wondering what my friends will think that don't know. There are people who decided not to be friends with you after finding out? Yeah. A few. But the need deliver a message outweighs Logan's fears. I'm still pretty sure that I'll be fine. I mean, I want to show the world that we're just normal people. I don't want to hide it. You can't get rid of your family, so why hide it and why be ashamed of something that is a part of you? I've had people be, like, you're one of the most normal kids I know.' And I was, like, 'Only if you knew.' And at that point, they didn't know that I had three moms. I just feel like I'm, you know, no different than anybody else. People are afraid of it because they're ignorant. I mean, if you knew and you knew all about it, there would be no problem if you just knew all about it. What don't people know about it? What don't people know about it? I don't know. I guess they don't know why we live it, and, like, we believe, like, this is the way the Lord told us to live. Jed makes the point that the widely reported news of Warren Jeffs, his underage brides and child abuse are a rare and bizarre exception and not what polygamy is all about for the Dargers. There's sick people, but there's a lot of sick people that live monogamy or aren't married at all too, so you can't just stereotype it down to that. We don't... We're not abused or practising underage marriages or any of that. Wait for me. As the younger children head off to school, they may not understand the bigotry they could face in the future, but they do know the bottom line, and it scares them. If you guys could have any single wish come true, what would you wish for? I'd wish that my dad could never go to jail. Oh! Are you worried about that? Are the rest of you worried about that at all? Kind of. Kind of. Kind of? I say a prayer at night and hope that my dad doesn't go to jail. You know, your kids ` your little kids ` admitted last night they're afraid you're gonna go to jail, Joe. That touched my heart. I didn't, um, expect that from my little kids. Do you think that he's breaking the law? > Well, they say it's against the law, but we don't really like that. We're trying to change it. Do you think it should be against the law? Cos I want to do it when I grow up. Cos I want to do it when I grow up. You do? > How many of you guys think that you want to be in polygamous families yourself when it comes time to get married? when it comes time to get married? I don't think anybody can really say. They say they've been raised to understand the choice is theirs to make individually. I'm not ready to make that decision for myself right now. I'm just worrying about high school. For the Dargers' oldest daughter, Laura, the big decision is at hand. It's really hard when you actually fall in love and you love somebody so much to think of sharing them with somebody else. It becomes more real, and that's kind of hard. Laura is her new husband's first wife and, for now at least, only wife, but she admits that could change. God changes people's hearts, you know. Sometimes there's things you don't think you can do, but when God asks you, you do it, you know, and I think if I felt like God was asking me, I would do it. # ...and learning from...# All of the Darger children will face the same choices some day. For change to be effective, people have to be willing to stand for a principle and what's correct, and even if that's uncomfortable for society as a whole, it's something that we're ready and willing to do. # Hold on tight # and fight. # One husband, three wives, 24 children; one family choosing to stand up and be counted in the face of the law, the morals of society and popular opinion. A portrait of a tiny minority that says, 'We will not be moved.' Next on 20/20 we meet a mob daughter growing up with a father who's a hit man. In the strangely warped world of gangster families, the Gravanos have no peer. Dad was the hit man, and now she's got a hit TV show chronicling the lives of women whose husbands and fathers are connected to the mob. # The big, big bang. # The reason I'm alive. # This is to` This is to` This is to Karen Gravano. Plus, they're the only nappy clinically proven to help prevent GENTLE LULLING MUSIC It's nice when someone's there to lend a helping hand. That's why Huggies Newborn Nappies have a wetness indicator that makes it easier to see when it may be change time and a waistband pocket to help protect against leaks at the back. Plus, they're the only nappy clinically proven to help prevent nappy rash. a Welcome back. In the strangely warped world of gangster families, the Gravanos are one of the most notorious. Sammy 'The Bull' Gravano, John Gotti's former right-hand man, is the legendary hit man turned informant ` the highest-ranking mobster ever to switch sides. Tonight, his daughter, Karen Gravano, speaks candidly about being the daughter of a man who pulled the trigger or arranged the murder of at least 19 people. I mean, as far as being a hit man, I actually was good at it. Oh yes, he was. Sammy 'The Bull' Gravano either pulled the trigger or arranged the murder of at least 19 people. I remember somethin' that surprised me ` that I had no remorse at all. None. And then Sammy would come home. What kind of dad was he? What kind of father? What kind of dad was he? What kind of father? He was a great father. Sammy's daughter Karen Gravano. He was home every night for dinner. If we were sick, he was by our bed. He really... cared about our schoolwork. He was someone that, if you need, he'll be there for you. In the strangely warped world of gangster families, the Gravanos have no peer. Dad was the hit man, and now she's got a hit TV show chronicling the lives of women whose husbands and fathers are connected to the mob. # The big, big bang. # The reason I'm alive. # This is to... This is to... This is to Karen Gravano. DRAMATIC MUSIC You have a problem cos of who my dad is. You can't be in the same place. You're weak-minded. Of course, no cable catfight can compare to living in the genuine lions' den of the mafia. I'll keep coming for you, you <BLEEP>ing dirty ho! As raunchy as this reality TV show can get, it can't compete with the true reality of a young girl growing up Gravano. When you were a kid, what is it that you thought your dad did for a living? Construction. Everyone thinks their father who is in the mob is in the construction business. In the universe of gangsters, Karen had been born into royalty. She's a princess wherever she's walking. Former FBI agent George Gabriel knew the mob scene here as well as anyone. She was treated differently in school. People don't say no to the Gravano family at that time. Did you ever go to your other friends and say, 'You know, I think my dad might be killing people.' No. Cos that would be quite a... revelation. You know, what do you do, as a kid? Do you go and call the police and say, 'I think my father murdered someone last night.' I don't know how to react. There's no way Karen didn't know what Daddy was doin'. She's being treated differently cos of who she is. And let there be no mistake. She's Sammy's daughter. # Happy birthday. # You're peeking in on one of those sweet, but surreal moments ` Karen in the arms of her father at her sweet sixteen birthday. APPLAUSE I love my father. He's my protector. He was a provider. He was a friend. But before you get all misty, you might want to know that the real guest of honour at Karen's party was none other than the Teflon Don, John Gotti. I walked over, and my father said, 'Say hello to Uncle John.' And I said hello to Uncle John, and he gave me an envelope, and in the envelope was 10 $100 bills. What did you make of John Gotti? What did you make of John Gotti? He was intriguing. He had this certain aura about him. When I went back to school, people were, like, you know, 'John Gotti was at your party, you little mafia princess.' Though she's offended by that label, she was most certainly growing fond of the luxuries ` like her own flower shop, bought by Sammy for Karen's high-school graduation. It was a booming business overnight. It was a booming business overnight. How come? You had just opened, and suddenly you got a lot of business. Gangsters love to send flowers, I guess. (LAUGHS) A lot of funerals. A lot of funerals. Mm-hm. And nobody could turn a bouquet into a bloodbath faster than Sammy The Bull. Police say that Paul Castellano, the reputed head of the Gambino crime family, and another man were shot and killed. On December 16 1985, Sammy helped mastermind the murder of Paul Castellano. I knew my father was involved in Paul Castellano's murder. And yet wasn't there a feeling of some power as a result of that, too? It wasn't all negative news, was it? No, it wasn't negative news at the time. On the news, there was my father and John Gotti walking up the street. People were, you know, glorifying it. So I felt like I was part of something that was big. But big is about to become epic as Sammy Gravano turns the tables on the mob and on Karen's life. On an autumn day in 1991, in a New York prison, Sammy The Bull Gravano ` underboss for the Gambino crime family ` dropped a bombshell on his wife, son and daughter. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, 'I'm gonna do something that goes against everything I believe in 'and everything I've told you to believe in ` I'm gonna cooperate with the government.' In a mafia minute, the Persian rugs had been pulled out from 19-year-old Karen Gravano's world. I was hurt, because I felt like everything he taught me in my life ` you never tell... I felt like the life that I grew up in was ripped out from underneath me. Karen's father had taken the mafia commandment 'thou shalt not betray the boss' and shattered it atop John Gotti's head. But this nearly did not happen ` because of Karen. FBI agent George Gabriel helped arrange Sammy's cooperation. Her concern, outrage that her father had turned, almost caused him to break up the deal. She just couldn't deal with the betrayal. And, of course, it only made matters worse that the whole affair was played out on the front pages. Being a rat was, in your mind at that point, just as bad as all those killings. It was probably worse at that point. Sammy left the witness-protection programme and moved to Phoenix, setting up a legitimate construction business. Karen, her mother and brother Gerard moved here too. In her new book, to be published this week, about her life as a mob daughter, Karen writes these days in Phoenix were a struggle to find a new identity. And you say, 'I had a choice to make a new life, but I felt more comfortable being bad.' You did? I did. I did. Why? Cos I felt being bad is where you gain respect. I'd seen it my whole life, growing up. In short order, she hooked up with an ex-con, and she and her brother began selling drugs. In the meantime, word was spreading that the charming guy with the construction business was actually Sammy The Bull. He went from having a legitimate construction business... Once everybody figured out who he was, all those contracts dried up. Perhaps it was inevitable, but Sammy soon reverts to his old ways, financing a small drug ring. But this time the family is literally his own. Arrested for drug dealing? Yes, four of us in my immediate family ` my father, my mother, my brother and myself. Sammy was eventually sentenced to 19 years in prison; son Gerard nine years. Karen and her mother were placed on probation and released. Dad's birthday party. Dad's birthday party. Oh my gosh. Today, Karen's a single mom, splitting her time between New York and Phoenix, where she lives with her 11-year-old daughter Karina. She's also launching her own line of skincare products. Sammy will remain an inmate until 2019. Do you think your dad is still capable of killing? Yes. Do I think that he's` wants to do that? No. I think that if he was sitting in this room right here with us and somebody went to go hurt me,... he's gonna kill you in two seconds flat. Next on 20/20 ` one from our What Would You Do files. Is there such a thing as a free lunch? What would happen when our What Would You Do actors, Joey and Nick, armed with a can of crickets, try the old 'bug in the food' trick? How is this all going to get paid for? How is this all going to get paid for? Don't worry. It's on the house. CRICKETS CHIRP MC HAMMER'S 'U CAN'T TOUCH THIS' RAPS: # When you gotta go, think of this rhyme. Grab your Pull-Ups, then stop ` potty time. # Pull-Ups fit you like a pro. There's sealable sides in case you go. # All because you're a big kid now. Stop ` potty time. # a Welcome back. Skipping the bill at dinner ` we've all joked about it, but what would you do if you saw someone scamming a restaurant by, say, putting a bug in their soup? Would you speak up? They did it in the classic movie Victor Victoria. I have a bug in my purse. At the appropriate moment, it goes in my salad. It'll never work. It'll never work. Anybody looking? It'll never work. Anybody looking? No. (SCREAMS) They did it in Tower Heist. Jeez, a hamburger's $24. We can't afford to eat here, anyway. Hey, we can order whatever we like, cos, um, lunch is on me. So we wondered what would happen when our What Would You Do actors, Joey and Nick, armed with a can of crickets, tried the old 'bug in the food' trick. How's this all gonna get paid for? How's this all gonna get paid for? Don't worry, dude. It's on the house. CRICKETS CHIRP BOTH CHUCKLE Our hidden cameras are rolling at the Empress Diner in East Meadow, New York. Actors Diana, Carol-Ann and Victor are about to serve our conniving twosome. Captain's platter for him, and I'm getting two lobster tails. After they order their pricey meals, Diana brings the guys their soup. And when they think the coast is clear, plop goes the cricket. CRICKET CHIRPS WOMAN: That was wrong. WOMAN: That was wrong. Excuse me, but there's... there's a bug in my soup. there's a bug in my soup. LAUGHS: Ew! Oh my God. That's` Oh my God. That's` There's a bug in your soup! Oh my God. That's` There's a bug in your soup! Yeah. We sent our manager over to help. I want two lobster tails to go, and he wants the captain's platter to go. As he heads off to get their order, the patrons tattle on our troublesome twosome. They're trying to get free lobster tails. We heard them talking about it. We think they've done it on purpose. I wouldn't give them crap. Throw them the hell out. And when Victor returns to confront the bad guys, the patrons have his back. You shouldn't get a free meal! You shouldn't get a free meal! I am gettin' a free meal ` I'm gettin' lobster tails. I'm gonna ask you to leave. Thanks to these diners, our insect instigators' plans are crushed. Why can't you mind your business? Why can't you mind your business? It's nice` a nice place. There's never any problem with the food. Why should they get hit for somethin' like that? We send our scammers back again in a last attempt to rustle up a free meal. Free dinner time. Free dinner time. Free dinner time. Time for dinner to be... on the house. Now, watch these guys. They're ready to exterminate the situation. Oh! Oh! Look at that thing! Ew! (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) Ew! You got a` (CHUCKLES) Ew! You got a` Excuse me! Is there something wrong? Is there something wrong? Yeah, there's a bug in his soup. Is there something wrong? Yeah, there's a bug in his soup. There's a bug in my soup. We've never had anything like that before. We've never had anything like that before. It was... They've been busted. They were talkin' about the free meal. What free meal? What are you talking about? What are you guys`? Why are you paying attention? Because you got a loud mouth. Because you got a loud mouth. You're not getting anything. Please leave. Thank you very much. Thank you. Once again, it's out with the criminals and in with our cameras. How are ya? Why should a place like this, that has such great service, such great food, you know, have troublemakers like that come in and ruin their reputation? But what if this next time, we replace the guys with girls? Surely they couldn't get away with it. This is gonna be so good. This is gonna be so good. So good. This is gonna be so good. So good. (LAUGHS) OK, just do it. OK, just do it. You ready? OK, just do it. You ready? Yeah. Oh my God! Oh my God. Oh my God. Miss! Miss! Oh my God! Oh my God. Oh my God. Miss! Miss! Oh my God, that is disgusting. Miss, Miss, Miss, I just... There is something in my soup. It's gross. You have to take it. It's gross. How can I make it up to you? We just want the lobster tail. We just want to go. Can you make it to go? At first, their gag seems to be paying off. But soon, Kathy Weiss and her family have heard enough. I heard them say that they were gonna try this in other restaurants, and that they were gonna go to different diners and do it, and they were gonna wait till dessert. It was a scam. It was a scam. That's all. Time for us to untangle this web of deceit. Hi, guys. I'm John Quinones, and this is part of the TV show What Would You Do? They're actors. ALL CHUCKLE What did you think of your mom? She has cojones for doin' it. That's all I got to say. She has cojones for doin' it. That's all I got to say. ALL LAUGH What do you want your kids to learn from this? I don't know. Just, if you see something wrong, you should say something. That's really... it. So, conniving customers everywhere, beware ` eventually, you'll get squashed. Is there any such thing as a free lunch? Absolutely, but that's not the way to get it. You can check out any of tonight's stories again, including that one, by going to our website: You can also email us at: Or go to our Facebook page and let us know your thoughts on tonight's show. Thanks for all your feedback over the past week. We're interested in your stories, of course, so keep those ideas coming in.