6PM CAPTIONS BY RICHARD EDMUNDS AND AMY PARK. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT TVNZ ACCESS SERVICES 2013 DUE TO THE LIVE NATURE OF SEVEN SHARP, WE APOLOGISE FOR THE LACK OF CAPTIONS FOR SOME ITEMS. HI. WELCOME. GEORGIE PIE, EH? DID YOU EVER THINK THEY'D BE BACK? THESE TWO REFUSED TO BE SEPERATED. THERE ARE A FEW KIWIS WHO NEVER REALLY LOST FAITH. YEP, THE CHAP WHO'S MADE IT PRETTY MUCH HIS LIFE WORK TO BRING BACK THE COUNTRY'S FAVOURITE MINCE AND CHEESE TELLS US: IS HE FINALLY HAPPY? WHOO-HOO! YES! I CAN GO THERE AGAIN! YOU KNOW THAT THAT'S GONNA DEFINITELY BRING BACK THOSE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. IT'S GONNA BE ULTIMATE. AND ANOTHER THING YOU MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT WAS LOST FOREVER ` THE NZ ARMED FORCES. TURNS OUT THE NAVY'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME. THEY'RE ON THE HUNT FOR NEW BLOOD, AND THEY WENT ALL OUT TRYING TO IMPRESS HEATHER. THE SAILORS WERE ALL IN FAVOUR OF IT, AND WHAT WORRIED THEM THE MOST WAS THAT WE ACTUALLY PICKED YOU BACK UP AGAIN. ALSO TONIGHT ` THE INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL GETS WEIRDER, AND JEHAN GETS THE INTERVIEW HE'S ALWAYS WANTED, KIND OF. ISN'T MICHAEL ALL RIGHT? IS HE HAPPY? OH, AS HAPPY AS HE CAN BE, YOU KNOW, DEAD. YES, DEFINITELY. AND THE VERY FIRST OF OUR NEW SERIES CELEBRATES THE TOWN OF RAKAIA. IT'S THURSDAY. THIS IS SEVEN SHARP. You might have seen the unemployment rate is at all-time low. We've found an organisation that has hundreds of jobs. They are desperate to employ people. NAUTICAL MUSIC THE NAVY TOOK ME OUT ON A BOAT, TOLD ME TO JUMP,... (SCREAMS) ...AND I DIDN'T EVEN ASK HOW HIGH ` I JUST DID IT. WATER GURGLING THEN THEY JUST TOOK OFF AND LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF WELLINGTON HARBOUR. FOR AGES. MAN OVERBOARD. MAN OVERBOARD. MAN OVERBOARD. AFTER AT LEAST SEVEN MINUTES,... NAUTICAL MUSIC CONTINUES (SHRIEKS) (GRUNTS) ALL RIGHT. TOOK YOU GUYS LONG ENOUGH, EH? THAT WAS REALLY COLD. I'VE ALSO NEVER FELT MORE ABANDONED BY OUR DEFENCE FORCE. TELL YOU WHAT ` I'M NOT JOINING THE DEFENCE FORCE AFTER THAT. BUMMER FOR THE NAVY, BECAUSE THEY NEED SAILORS. OH, I THINK THERE'S JUST SO MANY OTHER THINGS FOR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN TO DO TODAY. YEAH, THE NAVY INVITED US ON A DAY TRIP ON THE WELLINGTON TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH FUN IT CAN BE. SO DO YOU THINK, LIKE, THROWING A REPORTER OFF THE BOAT IS GONNA HELP? YEAH, IT WAS A GREAT IDEA. THE SAILORS WERE ALL IN FAVOUR OF IT, AND WHAT WORRIED THEM THE MOST IS THAT WE ACTUALLY PICKED YOU BACK UP AGAIN. NOW, FOR SOME OF YOU WATCHING, WE REALISE IT MAY BE A SURPRISE THAT WE HAVE A NAVY. I MEAN, CHECK THIS OUT. PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW WE'RE HERE. COME ON, GUYS! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WE'RE HERE? AND BY THE WAY, LADIES, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN. OK, STEERING 0-8-5 IN HAND. BOTH LEVERS AHEAD 1-0, 100% FULL POWER AVAILABLE. DUAL POWER THRUSTS AVAILABLE. CAPTAIN PHIL ROWE'S LUCKY HE'S EVEN GOT ENOUGH CREW TO TAKE HIS SHIP OUT. THE NAVY'S STRUGGLING SO MUCH TO GET NEWBIES TO JOIN THAT UNTIL RECENTLY, THE HMNZS WELLINGTON WAS PARKED UP. WE ACTUALLY NEED SIX AUSSIES TO HELP US TAKE THE VESSEL OUT. THE AUSTRALIANS ARE HELPING US OUT WHILE WE GROW OURSELVES OUT OF THE HOLE WE'RE IN. SO WE NEED MORE KIWIS TO FILL THOSE JOBS? ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. AS MANY AS YOU CAN GET. DO YOU WANT TO RELY ON AUSTRALIA? NO. I HAVE THE SHIP. YOU HAVE THE SHIP. ON THE BRIDGE, NAVIGATING OFFICER HAS THE SHIP. NEED MORE REASON TO JOIN? WELL, YOU GET TO FIGHT FIRES,... ...CRUISE AROUND ON FAST BOATS,... ...AND YOU GET TO PLAY WITH GUNS. SO THIS IS THE BIG KAHUNA? YES. I CAN'T... (LAUGHS) I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH STRENGTH TO PULL IT BACK. I THINK IT'S JAMMED. THERE YOU GO. OH MY GOD. BUT YOU JUST PLAY. IT'S NOT FOR REAL. WHY DO YOU GUYS NEED GUNS? YOU DON'T ACTUALLY FIGHT, DO YOU? NOT VERY OFTEN. NO, WE DON'T. THE NAVY MAY NOT GO TO WAR, AND THANK GOD FOR THAT, BUT SAILORS STILL SEE PLENTY OF ACTION. YOU HELPED OUT WITH THE CHOPPER CRASH THE OTHER DAY. YEAH, THAT WAS ONE OF OUR PATROL BOATS JUST HAPPENED TO BE THERE, AND THEY QUICKLY WHIPPED THOSE TWO PEOPLE OUT OF THE WATER AND PUT A BUOY IN WHERE THE CHOPPER WAS. THAT'S WHAT OUR PEOPLE CAN DO. YOU HAVE COCKTAIL PARTIES. WE HAVE RECEPTIONS, YEAH, AND THEY'RE IMPORTANT. WE CAN DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING YOU WANT US TO DO. THRUST TO STARBOARD STAT TWO. HAVE THEY GIVEN YOU ENOUGH INCENTIVES? STOP THRUST! JOIN UP. YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU. I like any job where for a good portion of the day you have to stand like this. No one saw that but Jesse. If you're in Wellington on Saturday, you can get on the Wellington and see what it's all about. They do heaps of important stuff like patrolling the waters, illegal fishing and all the rest of it. I'd go for the army. Willie Apiata and the gear. It's been a while since we had a good Navy role model. The armies got Prince Harry, Prince William went to the air force. The most famous person to join the Navy recently as MC Hammer. It would be the air force for me. It was won in 2009 by the student pilots. AFTER THE BREAK ` GEORGIE PIE'S BACK, BUT IS IT REALLY? WE'LL GET REACTION FROM THE MAN WHO'S SPENT MOST OF THE PAST DECADE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS VERY DAY. AND THEN... IS SHE A HE SALMON OR A SHE SALMON? > DON'T KNOW. IT'S A SALMON. IT'S A FISH. (LAUGHS) IT IS INDEED, AND WE'LL TELL YOU WHY THIS FISH IS SO SPECIAL TO THE GOOD PEOPLE OF RAKAIA. There's been a lot of talk about Georgie pie today. There's been a backlash because it's been taken over by McDonald's.People think it might be too extensive. Apparently the original GeorgiE pies were really good and they sold them far too cheap. # I NEED A DOLLAR, DOLLAR, DOLLAR ` THAT'S WHAT I NEED. # HEY, HEY. # A ONE-MAN CAMPAIGN FOR A $1 PIE. FOR GRANT DUFFIELD, THIS IS... A VERY BIG DAY, A VERY BIG ONE. # WILL YOU SHARE YOUR DOLLAR WITH ME? # IT ALL STARTED WITH T-SHIRTS AND PLACARDS I WAS HOLDING UP SOMETHING LIKE THAT. YES. I GOT THIS PROFESSIONALLY MADE, THIS SIGN HERE. I'VE BEEN AS FAR AS CHRISTCHURCH, DOING THIS CAMPAIGN. COLLECTING SIGNATURES ALONG THE WAY. YEAH, LOADS OF THEM. ALL FROM DIFFERENT PLACES. TAURANGA, ROTORUA, TAUPO, TOKOROA, MATAMATA. TAURANGA, ROTORUA, TAUPO, TOKOROA, MATAMATA. IT GOES ON AND ON. YEAH, CAMBRIDGE. SO YOU PUT ALL THIS HARD WORK, AND TODAY THEY'RE SAYING 'WE'RE GONNA BRING IT BACK IN JUNE, 'BUT ONLY ONE FILLING AND NOT WHERE YOU LIVE.' OH, THAT IS A SHAME BIG TIME, BUT I'LL DRIVE. YOU KNOW, IF I'M IN THE PARTICULAR AREA, I'LL DEFINITELY SORT OF GO THERE, COS I LOVE THE PIES. HE'S NOT ALONE. UPBEAT MUSIC HOW'S IT GOING TO FEEL GETTING YOUR CHOPS AROUND YOUR FIRST GEORGIE PIE? THAT IS JUST GOING TO BE SUPREME. IT'S GONNA BE ULTIMATE. IT'LL BRING BACK THOSE EARLY CHILDHOOD DAYS OF GOING THERE. YOUR FAVOURITE FLAVOUR? CURRY MINCE PIE. I BELIEVE NO ONE HAS MADE A CURRY MINCE PIE THE WAY GEORGIE PIE MADE THEM. 'BUT BRING THEM BACK?' WE'RE ACTUALLY WONDERING IF MAYBE NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA ANYWAY, AND THERE ARE THREE REASONS FOR THAT. NUMBER ONE, IT'S REALLY A MCGEORGIE PIE. NUMBER TWO, THERE'S ALREADY SO MUCH COMPETITION. I REALLY HAVEN'T FOUND ANY OTHER ONE THAT COMPARES WITH GEORGIE PIES. LET'S TRY THESE ONES. ABSOLUTELY. LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT. OH, CURRY MINCE. OH, OOK AT THAT. I'LL GIVE THAT A TRY. YOUR FAVOURITE PIE. DO YOU RECKON YOURS ARE AS GOOD? YES. YOU MUST HAVE FOUND SOME GOOD PIES. I HAVE FOUND GOOD PIES, YES. LOOK AT THAT LOVELY LAYER OF CHEESE. GOOD TASTING MINCE. THIS IS A GOOD ONE. ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT WHAT WE'RE THINKING OF THEM? KIND OF. DEFINITELY A LOT OF FILLING IN THIS PIE. STRUGGLING TO GET THROUGH IT. AND REASON NUMBER THREE ` SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT AS MEMORIES ` THAT WEDDING DRESS. IT'S NOT GOING TO LOOK SO HOT 20 YEARS LATER. THOSE HIP ROCKERS ` THEY SHOULD'VE STOPPED BEFORE THEIR HIPS GIVE WAY. AND JAWS. DID THAT REALLY USED TO SCARE US? SO WHAT IF THE NEW GEORGIE PIE IS... JUST A PIE? WELL, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO ITS NUMBER ONE FAN. HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW? NOW THAT YOU KNOW IT'S COMING BACK; YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO EAT ONE AGAIN. WHOO-HOO! YES, I CAN GO THERE AGAIN. YOU KNOW, THAT'S GONNA DEFINITELY BRING BACK THOSE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. IT'S GOING TO BE ULTIMATE. It doesn't matter what you are passionate about; if you're passionate, but a very attractive quality. Three things price, variety, where is the fish pies? Tell us on Twitter. There's a Georgie pie in Kelston real four years ago. STARTING A NEW SERIES. IT'S ABOUT YOUR TOWN, REALLY, WHAT GIVES IT ITS UNIQUE CHARACTER. TO KICK US OFF, HERE'S GREG STUBBINGS IN RAKAIA. IF YOU'VE EVER DRIVEN THROUGH THE CHARMING MID-CANTERBURY HAMLET OF RAKAIA, YOU MIGHT HAVE SAID SOMETHING LIKE... IT'S A GIANT TROUT! BUT YOU'D BE AN IDIOT! BECAUSE... THIS ISN'T A TROUT, IS IT, JOHN? NO. IT'S A SALMON. I'VE NEVER HEARD IT REFERRED TO AS A TROUT. IT'S THE RAKAIA SALMON. I'M SO SORRY. AND AT 12M HIGH, SHE'S A BEAUTY. AH. IS SHE A HE SALMON OR A SHE SALMON? I'VE NEVER LOOKED THAT CLOSELY. SALLY THE SALMON WAS COMMISSIONED BY THE RAKAIA LIONS CLUB IN 1991 AND BUILT BY A YOUNG CANTERBURY ARTIST. PHIL PRICE BASED SALLY ON A REAL LIFE, THOUGH DEAD, RAKAIA SALMON, BUT THAT'S WHERE THE SIMILARITIES END, BECAUSE SHE WAS BUILT MORE LIKE A BOAT THAN A FISH. SHE'S GOT AS METAL POLE UP HER, AND THEN, SORT OF, A WOODEN CANOE-LIKE STRUCTURE, THEN, ORIGINALLY, ONLY ABOUT A MIL OF FIBREGLASS AND THEN PAINT ON TOP OF THAT. SO SHE WAS LOOKING PRETTY GOOD. BUT BY HER 15TH BIRTHDAY, SALLY HAD REALLY LET HERSELF GO. IT WAS BECOMING APPARENT THAT THE PAINT WAS STARTING TO WEAR. HE'S TOO KIND. SALLY HAD GONE FERAL! AND SHE EVEN HAD WATER ON THE BRAIN. IT DOES HAVE A DRAIN HOLE ON IT. AH. WHERE'S THE DRAIN HOLE? WHERE YOU'D EXPECT? YEAH. 'EW. SO BACK IN 2006, THE ASHBURTON COUNCIL CRANED SALLY OFF 'FOR A $128,000 EXTREME FISHOVER.' YOU CAN STILL SEE WHERE THEY JUST CHOPPED OFF THE POLE. IT TOOK PHIL PRICE'S TEAM FOUR MONTHS TO COMPLETE THE OLD GIRL'S FACELIFT. AND THOSE WERE DARK DAYS FOR RAKAIA. THERE WAS A WAY YOU COULD TELL THAT PEOPLE WEREN'T STOPPING HERE AS MUCH AS THEY WERE BEFORE. THE TOILET SUPPLIES COMING IN TO THE TOILET DROPPED BY ABOUT 40% FOR THE PERIOD THAT THE SALMON WAS DOWN. A 40% DECREASE IN BOG ROLL WHEN SHE'S NOT THERE! SALLY, YOU'RE QUITE A TROUT. IT'S A SALMON, YOU IDIOTS! 'SORRY.' Gore has a similar identity, but it's a trout. Apparently there's a rivalry in terms of the big fish. Wherever you live, get a hold of us and tell us about your town. AFTER THE BREAK ` HE'S SAYING AT SCHOOL YOU WERE QUITE SPORTY IN AN ACADEMIC KIND OF A WAY, ACADEMICALLY. DEATH AND LAUGHS ` WE TRY TO WALK THAT FINE LINE NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. FIRST WITH A COMEDIAN, THEN A COMIC WHO LIKES GRAVES AND TELLS US WHY. It was GB pies in Kelston. HE TALKED WITH JEHAN CASINADER. MYSTICAL MUSIC WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF IAN D MONTFORT. I'M JEHAN. TAKE A SEAT, JEHAN. THANK YOU. HE CAN'T PUT YOU IN TOUCH WITH YOUR DEAD SISTER. I'M NOT PROFITING FROM PEOPLE'S GRIEF. AND IF I PROFITED FROM PEOPLE'S GRIEF, I'D BE NO BETTER OFF THAN A FLORIST. BUT HE COULD PROBABLY LET YOU TALK TO A DEAD SINGER. WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO IS CONTACT FAMOUS PEOPLE, OK? PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT BORING. WELL, I'VE GOT ONE IN MIND. # WHOO! # SO WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO IS GET YOU TO THINK ABOUT THE FAMOUS PERSON THAT YOU'D LIKE TO CONTACT. DON'T TELL ME WHAT IT IS. JUST HOLD A THOUGHT THERE IN YOUR MIND ` AN IMAGE. # NO ONE WANTS TO BE DEFEATED. # IMMEDIATELY, I'M PICKING UP ON SOMETHING VERY INTERESTING. AND THIS IS DEFINITELY A GENTLEMAN OR A LADY. UM, YOU THINK(?) I'M GETTING A LETTER IS ALL I'M GETTING, AND I WANNA SAY THE LETTER M. NOT NECESSARY AN INITIAL; THIS COULD BE A LETTER IN THE NAME OR A LETTER AT THE END OF THE NAME OR THIS ACTUALLY COULD BE ONE THAT'S BEEN LEFT OUT. SOUNDS TO ME LIKE HE'S HEDGING HIS BETS. I BELIEVE THIS IS A GENTLEMAN OF COLOUR, BUT I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT COLOUR HE IS. # IT DON'T MATTER IF YOU'RE BLACK OR WHITE. # WOULD THIS BE MICHAEL JACKSON? IT WOULD BE. YEAH. OK. AND HE'S HERE NOW. SO MICHAEL JACKSON HAS JUST POPPED INTO YOUR MIND? LIKE A HOLOGRAM, YEAH. AND HE'S NOW COMMUNICATING WITH ME ABOUT YOU. I FEEL LIKE THERE IS A SCEPTICAL ENERGY HERE, I'VE GOTTA BE HONEST. I DON'T MIND SAYING THAT. WELL, HE'D BE RIGHT, BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT MICHAEL JACKSON KNOWS ABOUT ME. OK, MICHAEL IS TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE ADOPTED. NO, I'M NOT. YEAH, YOU ARE. MYSTICAL MUSIC HE'S SAYING AT SCHOOL YOU WERE QUITE SPORTY IN AN ACADEMIC KIND OF A WAY, ACADEMICALLY. MICHAEL'S TELLING ME THAT YOU DRIVE. HE'S TELLING ME ABOUT THIS CAR, AND IT'S A BLACK CAR. WHOSE CAR IS THIS? YOURS. NO. AT NIGHT. I DIDN'T KNOW MICHAEL JACKSON WAS SO INTERESTED IN MY LIFE. THIS IS EVIDENCE NOW OF ANOTHER SIDE OF LIFE. AND YOU KNOW THAT MICHAEL IS HERE, CARING FOR YOU. HE WAS A VERY TOUCHY-FEELY PERSON WHEN HE WAS ON THIS SIDE OF LIFE. HE WAS VERY TOUCH-FEELY. AND NOW HE'S CROSSED OVER, UNFORTUNATELY, HE CAN'T BE AS TOUCHY-FEELY AS HE USED TO BE, COS HE'S IN THE SPIRIT WORLD. IS MICHAEL ALL RIGHT? IS HE HAPPY? OH, AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN BE, YOU KNOW, DEAD, DEFINITELY. OK, BUT WHAT ABOUT MY FUTURE HAPPINESS? AND I BELIEVE YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIAL SET OF SKILLS. I DO. YOU STRIKE ME AS SOMEONE WHO IS SKILFUL BUT NOT NEEDY, LIKE SOMEONE WHO CAN JUGGLE BUT DOESN'T. I HAVE TO SAY, IT'S NOT EXACTLY THE FORTUNE I WAS HOPING FOR. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. THANK YOU. I THINK THAT WENT REALLY WELL. AND BEFORE A TINGLE GOES DOWN YOUR SPINE, WE SHOULD PROBABLY MENTION THAT TOM ASKED JEHAN TO WRITE THE NAME OF HIS DEAD CELEBRITY ON A PIECE OF PAPER BEFORE THEY SAT DOWN TO TALK. JEHAN HAD THE PAPER IN HIS POCKET THE WHOLE TIME, BUT PSYCHICS, WELL, THEY HAVE THEIR WAYS. Is he just taking the Mickey? But he did work out as Michael Jackson, right? We're going to stay on topic of comedians. HELLO, FRIENDS. I'M TOM RHODES. I'M A COMEDIAN HERE IN AUCKLAND PERFORMING AT THE NZ INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL, HELLO, FRIENDS. I'M TOM RHODES. I'M A COMEDIAN HERE IN AUCKLAND PERFORMING AT THE NZ INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL, AND I AM AT THE SYMONDS STREET CEMETERY BECAUSE DEAD PEOPLE ARE COOL. I DON'T THINK IT'S CREEPY. THE REASON I LIKE TO GO TO CEMETERIES AND VISIT GRAVES OF PEOPLE I ADMIRE IS BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME TO LIVE AND THAT LIFE IS PRECIOUS AND WE'VE GOT A SHORT FLASH IN TIME HERE. I'M NOT A VAMPIRE. I'M NOT INTO EVIL. I'M NOT INTO SATANIST STUFF AT ALL. I'M A VERY SPIRITUAL GUY. I THINK THAT THE WAY PEOPLE HONOUR THEIR DEAD ARE ALWAYS USUALLY IN A VERY SPECIAL PLACE. MY FAVOURITE THING, OF COURSE, ABOUT VISITING CEMETERIES IS FREE FLOWERS. YOUR MUM OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW WHERE THEY CAME FROM. ON MY GRAVE, I WANT IT TO SAY 'COURTEOUS PASSENGER' BECAUSE JESUS' WHOLE MESSAGE WAS 'DON'T BE A DICK'. SOMEBODY WANTED TO TURN THIS CEMETERY INTO A CAR PARK. WHAT A MORON. THAT GUY, CERTAINLY, ISN'T BURIED HERE. THIS GUY MUST'VE BEEN COOL, BECAUSE THEY PLANTED HIM NEXT TO A TREE. PERSONALLY, I WOULD LOVE IT IF MY GRAVE HAD A JACUZZI THAT WAS REGULARLY MAINTAINED, AND, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE COULD NOT ONLY COME AND THINK ABOUT WHAT A GREAT GUY I WAS, BUT, YOU KNOW, THEY COULD HAVE A NICE, LITTLE, HOT TUB EXPERIENCE. IT'D BE AWESOME. THINK ABOUT IT. COMEDY IS KIND OF CLOSELY RELATED TO DEATH. WHAT WAS THE FAMOUS QUOTE THAT DYING IS EASY; COMEDY IS HARD? WHOEVER WAS DYING ON THEIR DEATHBED SAID THAT? IT'S A FAMOUS QUOTE. AND IN COMEDY, IT'S ALWAYS 'I KILLED' OR 'YOU KILLED THEM' OR 'I MURDERED'. IT'S ALWAYS VERY BLOODY, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE TO DESCRIBE COMEDY, FOR SOME REASON. THE GREATEST JOURNEY FILMS WERE FILMED IN NZ, AND LIFE IS A JOURNEY. GANDALF'S BOOK, THERE AND BACK AGAIN ` THAT'S MY ENTIRE LIFE SUMMED UP. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. HOORAY, NZ. CAPTIONS BY FAITH HAMBLYN AND FINN SCOTT-KELLY.