AND THAT'S ONE NEWS FOR MONDAY. HI, WELCOME TO THE SHOW. NO ALI TONIGHT, BUT WE ARE JOINED BY STACEY MORRISON, WHO IS SET TO HAVE PLENTY TO SAY ON OUR FIRST TWO STORIES. PLANES, RESTAURANTS, MOVIE THEATRES,... IT'S LESS THAN IDEAL WHEN YOU'RE STUCK NEXT TO A CRYING BABY. TURNS OUT THERE ARE OTHER PLACES... ONE MP RECKONS PARLIAMENT SHOULD BE MORE BABY FRIENDLY. WHAT I'M ASKING FOR IS THAT I AM, AS A MOTHER, ABLE TO PUT THE NEEDS OF MY CHILD FIRST. THEN, A DEAD CERTAIN WAY TO MAKE A SHAKY START TO ANY VISIT TO NZ OR A MARAE IS WITH A SHONKY HONGI. IT'S NOT RUBBING NOSES, IS IT? NO. NO. SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO COME IN FOR A RUB. TEAM NZ HAS LANDED. AND YOU NAME IT, IT'S HERE. TANIWHA, WE GOT PINEAPPLE LUMPS, KUMARA, SAUCE BOTTLE... AND REMEMBER THIS GUY? KIA ORA, BRO. HELLO, HELLO. I WAS JUST LOOKING AT YOUR FOR SALE SIGN THERE. HOW MUCH? OH, $80,000 OR NEAREST OFFER. YEAH? THAT'S STEEP FOR A SIGN, ISN'T IT? MEET THE WINNER OF THE BILLY T PRIZE. IT'S MONDAY NIGHT. WELCOME TO SEVEN SHARP. On Friday night there was a baby in Parliament. They're not actually about there. JAUNTY MUSIC NZ LABOUR? 33 VOTES AGAINST. THESE ARE A BABY'S WIGGLING LEGS. DID YOU KNOW THIS IS BANNED FROM THE DEBATING CHAMBER? IF YOU THOUGHT PARLIAMENT WAS MORE PROGRESSIVE, YOU'RE IN GOOD COMPANY. THINK THE RULES DO ALLOW THAT. I DON'T THINK BABIES ARE ACTUALLY ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE. NO, THIS BABY IS A THREAT TO DEMOCRACY. ITS MUM MAY BE ELECTED TO PARLIAMENT, BUT THE BABY ISN'T ELECTED. AND THE RULES DON'T CARE IF IT'S FRIDAY, NEARLY MIDNIGHT, AND IT NEEDS A FEED. REALLY, WHAT I'M ASKING FOR IS THAT I AM, AS A MOTHER, ABLE TO PUT THE NEEDS OF MY CHILD FIRST. HERE'S A QUICK HISTORY ` THIS BABY APPARENTLY GOT KICKED OUT OF CANADA'S HOUSE OF COMMONS FOR BREAKING NO-EATING RULES. THIS ONE STAYED. IT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T EAT. AND THIS ONE APPEARS TO HAVE GROWN UP IN THE EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT. THIS ONE COULD BE NZ'S FIRST RULE-BREAKING BABY. I JUST WALKED IN AND SAT DOWN AND, UH, FED GEORGIA, AND I DON'T THINK ANYBODY DARED RAISE A POINT OF ORDER. HERE'S THE TWIST ` THE BABY'S MUM, NANAIA, DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE IN THE DEBATING CHAMBER ON FRIDAY NIGHT. SHE JUST CAME IN TO MAKE A POLITICAL STATEMENT ABOUT PARLIAMENT'S INFLEXIBILITY. SHE WAS COURTEOUS, THOUGH. SHE LEFT WHEN THE BABY STARTED CRYING. YOU'D THINK THAT'S JUST WHEN IT WOULD'VE FITTED IN. A very cute baby. MOST MP'S WORK TUESDAY TO THURSDAY. BUT YOU HAVE TO COMMIT TO TAKING YOUR BABY IN ALL WEEK. PARLAIMENT HAS A CRECHE. TVNZ also has that same rule. This is not structured well. Who is working on Friday at midnight? She said it won't change because it's the nation's boardroom. I have this issue with the CEO at the radio network. She asked that the baby to be brought to her so she can have cuddles. She has a cot in her office. So that is work place friendly. It's about the hours. Are they being efficient if they're still working at that time? NANAIA TOOK HER BABY OUT WHEN SHE CIRED, BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T. TIM WILSON SPEAKS TO PLUNKET'S ROCHELLE CAVE. WHEN BABIES LAUGH, THE WORLD LAUGHS BACK. BABIES LAUGH WHEN A BABY CRIES, EVERYTHING SUCKS,... EVERYWHERE. BABY WAILS AIROPLANES, TRAINS, BUSES, CAFES, MALLS,... MALLS? SUPERMARKETS... SUPERMARKETS! YEP. THERE'S REALLY HEIGHTENED LEVELS OF ANXIETY OVER HOW CHILDREN... SHH! SHH! GIVE HER A CUDDLE. SHE'LL SHH. OK. OK. IS THIS PART OF THE ADVICE? ABSOLUTELY. THEY LOVE BEING CUDDLED. ESPECIALLY BABIES. THAT'S WHERE THEY FEEL SAFEST. BABY CRIES THIS VIDEO IS TITLED 'BABY SCREAMS FOR 5 HOURS ON A FLIGHT.' OW. LOOK AT THE SPEED WE'RE GOING NOW. 3 MILES PER HOUR. TOPGEAR HOST AND INTERNATIONAL CURMUDGEON, JEREMY CLARKSON, RECENTLY SUGGESTED... THIS US COUPLE FIGURED THE FIGHT OUT FOR THEIR TWINS, DISTRIBUTING LOLLIES AND EARPLUGS. NOW LET'S ROLL THAT VIDEO AGAIN. AHH. IF THE ADULT IS ANXIOUS, THE BABY WILL BE ANXIOUS, BUT TENFOLD. LOCATION IS EVERYTHING. BABIES AND STOCKCARS. NO. BABIES AND CAGEFIGHTS. DEFINTELY NOT. BABIES AND RUGBY? SURE. IN A RUGBY GAME, THERE'S NO REAL NEED TO SIT THERE AND BE QUIET THE WHOLE TIME. JUSTIN BEIBER CONCERT? MM, NO. NOT COOL? NO, I WOULDN'T TAKE A ANYBODY TO A JUSTIN BEIBER CONCERT. # BABY, BABY, BABY, OH! # AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOUR BABY CRIES, DON'T DANGEL HIM OVER A BALCONY. But the baby is now fine, and the Dad is not. Funny how the world works out. When you have a baby, are you more conscience about the baby or about everyone hating you? Parts of the plane was just babies could solve the problem, but it doesn't. You take your baby on a plane and then the one behind you and cries and wakes your baby up. All the baby is trying to do is tell you that something is not right. There are movie theatres that cater to babies and cafes that Are child friendly. I think it is a huge market that is untapped. We will go across town to go to a child friendly cafe. We take our baby to the movies with little earmuffs. If she becomes trouble, I take her out. The woman from Plunket was saying that parents anxiety will sometimes make it worse. With the second baby do you get less anxious when they cry? You always cater to your baby's needs. They're not crying just agitate you. Do not designed to annoy. We are used to watching foreign dignities and rock stars arriving here and being awed by the Maori welcome. But Do you know how to do a proper Maori hongi? THIS FROM BRODIE KANE. KIA ORA, TAHU. KIA ORA. HOW DID I DO? PRETTY GOOD. OUT OF 10? NINE. NINE? THAT'S GREAT, ISN'T IT! THAT'S A GOOD SCORE, BUT I'M THE LEAST AWKWARD PERSON YOU'LL EVER MEET. BUT WHY IS IT WE'RE SO SCARED TO HONGI? THERE'S NO REAL REASON TO BE AT ALL, OF COURSE. THERE'S NOTHING TERRIBLE THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN UNLESS YOU'VE GOT SOME SORT OF... DISEASE THAT'S GOING TO BE TRANSMITTED. EW. THAT COULD EXPLAIN THINGS. ARE WE JUST NOT THAT INTIMATE? THERE IS A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE. SOMETIMES MOVING RIGHT IN AND PRESSING PARTS OF YOUR FACE TOGETHER DOESN'T FEEL THAT COMFORTABLE. BUT SURELY IT'S NOT THAT BAD, RIGHT? WELL, IF HIGH-PROFILE HONGIS ARE ANYTHING TO GO BY, THEN, YES. POOR OLD CAMILLA. AND THEN WE HAD GORDON RAMSAY. BUT, GRANTED, HE GOT BETTER OVER TIME. AND IT APPEARS THE BEATLES GOT MAORI CONFUSED WITH ESKIMOS. MAN: ...ESPECIALLY WHEN PAUL RUBS NOSES WITH A MAORI. IT'S NOT RUBBING NOSES, IS IT? NO, NO. SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO COME IN FOR A RUB. (LAUGHS) OH, OK. IT'S COMING IN, KEEPING YOUR FACE UPRIGHT, YOU KNOW, PRESSING OF THE NOSES. SOME PEOPLE CLAIM THAT YOU EXHALE THROUGH YOUR NOSTRILS AND BREATHS SHARING, COMING TOGETHER. DIFFERENT IWI MIGHT PRESS TWICE AND OTHERS ONCE. SINCE I GOT A NINE OUT OF 10, TAHU AND I ARE GOING TO GIVE YOU A BIT OF A HOW-TO GUIDE AS TO BEING ABLE TO DO THE RIGHT HONGI AND NOT FEEL AWKWARD ABOUT IT. SO, FIRST WE SHAKE HANDS? THAT'S CERTAINLY THE MODERN CONVENTION. IN FACT, THE WORD USED FOR THIS PARTICULAR PART OF THE RITUAL IS THE 'HONGI ME TE HARIRU', AND 'HARIRU' IS, ACCORDING TO MANY, A TRANSLITERATION OF 'HOW DO YOU DO?' SO IT'S A HONGI AND A HANDSHAKE. IF WE'RE SHAKING HANDS, THESE HANDS ARE TOUCHING. WHAT AM I DOING WITH THIS ONE? WHATEVER YOU LIKE. OH, REALLY? POCKET. SO STEP TWO IS ESSENTIALLY THE HANDSHAKE AND THE NATURAL STEP FORWARD, WOULD IT BE? SO THERE WE ARE. SO ABOUT ONE STEP. BOTH OF US DO THAT? YIP. SO YOU'RE CLOSE ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO MOVE IN. HOW LONG, IS THE HONGI FOR? WHAT'S A GOOD TIME? JUST IN THE LINE UP, WHEN YOU'RE MEETING, YOU KNOW, JUST A SECOND. THAT'S ABSOLUTELY FINE. DO IT RIGHT, THEN... COS YOU'RE IN A LINE-UP, YOU'RE MOVING ON TO THE NEXT PERSON ANYWAY. AND EVEN AN EXPERT ISN'T IMMUNE FROM THE ODD DISASTER. A FEW HEADBUTTS, A FEW HEADBUTTS. A FEW GUYS WITH BIG LIPS WHERE YOU GET THE HONGI AND THE KISS AT THE SAME TIME. BUT TAHU HAS A MESSAGE FOR ALL OF US. THERE'S NO REAL MYSTERY TO IT, YOU KNOW. IT'S JUST ABOUT THE WAY... JUST LIKE THE HANDSHAKE, IT'S THE WAY THAT PEOPLE, INTERACTING GROUPS, INDIVIDUALS, IT'S THE WAY THEY GREET EACH OTHER AND COME TOGETHER. SO NEXT TIME, REST EASY AND EMBRACE IT ` WITHOUT THE HAT. It is an intimate thing. A handshake or a backslapping. It is from the creation story. It is the breath of life. That is one of the treats of being a New Zealander. We can do it right here. I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder to guide. Maori noses are quite ergonomic. Notice I didn't do it with you? That was not awkward. It's like any case. CORRECTION: kiss I don't think anyone could do a good Hongi with that hat on ` Camilla. It's about how they brief you. You should know each other. It is quite a masculine... Her husband tried to hit me. When he does it to my other workmates, they feel quite puffed up. You are in these emotionally charged situations, like tangi, and your anxiety is doubled. AFTER THE BREAK, THE KEY ELEMENT IN OUR AMERICAS CUP CHALLENGE. WHEN I SEE SOMETHING COME TOGETHER THAT THE GUYS HAVE PLANNED ` THE GUYS, NOT ME, THE GUYS ` AND THEY JUST MADE IT HAPPENED, AND THEY'VE DONE IT SO PERFECTLY, THAT EXCITES ME. WHAT HAS OUR TEAM NZ BOSS SO WOUND UP IN SAN FRAN? A HINT ` IT INVOLVES A SAUCE BOTTLE. SHE HAS THE YELLOW TOWEL OF SUCCESS. WE TALK WITH THIS YEAR'S BIG COMEDY WINNER. THERE ARE THREE ELEMENTS TO CHALLENGE IN SAN FRANCISCO ` TEAM MEMBERS, BOAT, LOATS OF CONTAINERS. ANOTHER INGREDIENT ` KIWIANA. CRAIG STANAWAY WAS TAKEN ON AN EXCLUSIVE BEHIND THE SCENES AT TEAM NZ BY ROB WADDELL. RAPS: # WHERE YOU FROM? RAPS: # SAN FRANCISCO. # MAN, I LOVE THIS PLACE. THERE AIN'T NOWHERE LIKE THIS PLACE. # WE IN SAN FRANCISCO. # IF YOU'RE CALLING IN HERE OVER THE NEXT LITTLE WHILE, YOU'RE CERTAIN TO RUN INTO A BUNCH OF KIWIS. YOU MIGHT CLAIM YOU'RE NOT INTO THE AMERICA'S CUP ANY MORE, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. YOU SEE, IT'S IN OUR DNA. PETER BLAKE ON THE RIGHT; RUSSELL COUTTS ON THE LEFT. WHAT A SIGHT. WHAT A DAY FOR NZ. FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT. TAKE IT FROM ME. TEAM NZ IS ALREADY RIDICULOUSLY OVERORGANISED. THEY DON'T ACTUALLY RACE UNTIL JULY 4. ALL ARE DIFFERENT CONTAINERS TOO. AS YOU SAY, THEY HAVE A SPECIFIC PURPOSE. THERE'S THAT WORD 'CONTAINER'. YOU'LL BE HEARING THAT A LOT WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE, CRAIG, IS THE MAIN SHOWER BLOCK FOR AFTER SAILING AND AFTER TRAINING. THERE'S SHIPPING CONTAINER OVERLOAD. # I LOST MY HEAD IN SAN FRANCISCO. # DID YOU LEARN THIS AT AUT? NO, THIS WASN'T ME, ACTUALLY. I'M A RING-IN. I'M WORKING ON THE WI-FI SORT OF THINGS. OH, YOU'RE THE COMPUTER GEEK. ONE OF THEM. HOW MANY WEEKS HAVE YOU BEEN IN SAN FRANCISCO? TWO AND A HALF. I THINK. ABOUT TWO. AND HOW MANY HOURS A DAY ARE YOU WORKING? OH, WE RE DOING PROBABLY 12 TO 13. ALL IN A SHIPPING CONTAINER. IN TOTAL, THERE'S 70 OF THEM. SO THEY KEEP YOU IN A CONTAINER ALL DAY? (CHUCKLES) NO, NO, I'M OUT AND ABOUT, RUNNING AROUND. LET'S SAY YOU'VE LOST A BOLT. YOU DON'T GO TO THE LOCAL HARDWARE STORE. TEAM NZ'S ACTUALLY GOT EVERY BOLT IT NEEDS. YEAH, PRETTY MUCH, YEAH. HAVE A GUESS WHERE. WE'VE GOT A STORE CONTAINER, A COUPLE OF STORE CONTAINERS, SO WE'RE NOT HAVING TO LOOK AROUND THE STATES AND FIND THINGS THAT MIGHT BE OUTSIDE OF THE STATE. THEY COULDN'T FIND A SHIPPING CONTAINER BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOAT. THEY HAD TO SETTLE ON A TENT. WE'RE ALL USED TO THE AMERICA'S CUP BEING SO SECRETIVE, AND THERE ARE PARTS OF THIS BOAT THAT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO FILM, WHICH IS COOL BECAUSE IT'S EXCITING. THE BOATS ARE SO BIG, CRAIG, THAT LOGISTICALLY THEY'RE A MASSIVE EXERCISE, AND ALL THE TEAMS HAVE GONE DOWN DIFFERENT DESIGN PATHS. WE'RE JUST SO AWARE OF ONE LITTLE BIT BREAKING OR SNAPPING OR NOT HOLDING TOGETHER. YOU LOOK AT IT WITH A LOT OF SENSITIVITY NOW. WE'VE JUST GOT TO BE SO ON TOP OF OUR GAME FOR RELIABILITY AND MAINTENANCE. ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY. AND TONIGHT WE CAN BE THE FIRST TO REVEAL A LITTLE PIECE OF NZ THAT'LL HOPEFULLY MAKE THEM FASTER. CARBON FIBRE. THIS IS ABOUT THE MOST EXPENSIVE KIWIANA EVER DESIGNED. AND YOU NAME IT IT'S HERE ` TANIWHA, WE'VE GOT PINEAPPLE LUMPS, KUMARA, SAUCE BOTTLE. WE WANT TO MAKE T-SHIRTS AND LOCK THEM INTO OUR BRAND AND THAT, AND I GUESS WE'RE LOOKING FOR OUR OWN RED SOCKS A LITTLE BIT. SOMETHING THAT WE CAN ASSOCIATE. WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT GOES ON THE BOAT, OK? # MAYBE I # SHOULD HAVE SET MY HEART TO CRUISE CONTROL. # I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE A COUPLE OF DAYS. I'M STILL, LIKE.... THAT EXCITES ME WHEN I SEE SOMETHING COME TOGETHER THAT THE GUYS HAVE PLANNED ` THE GUYS, NOT ME, THE GUYS ` AND THEY JUST MADE IT HAPPEN AND THEY'VE DONE IT SO PERFECTLY. THAT EXCITES ME. I'M GETTING EXCITED TOO. (CHUCKLES) IF THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE CHALLENGE FOR THE CUP, THEY'RE GIVING IT THEIR BEST SHOT. I'm a bit of a sucker for the America's Cup. I'm starting to get goosebumps watching that. How about the bros by the bridge? Ali is in Melbourne. She will be back on Wednesday. It was terrible news about the cricket this morning. But we have some good sports results otherwise. The NZ petanque team had a victory over astray earlier. They won 78 - 42. CORRECTION: Australia AFTER THE BREAK ` SHE'S YOUNG, FUNNY AND SHE SOLVES THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS. IF EVERYONE IN THE THIS WORLD WAS AS ENTHUSIASTIC AND AS HAPPY AND JOYOUS AND GIVING AS THEY ARE IN THEIR SELLER FEEDBACK ON TRADEME,... AUDIENCE LAUGHS ... THEN THIS WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE. AUDIENCE LAUGHS She is an A+ plus plus plus comic. Would visit again. Part of the prize is the towel. You have to put it on. Wear it like Billy used to wear it. And seven sharp tomorrow, we put the towel on. It's taking so long. I'm going to spend my money on going to Disneyland. Seriously. Don't have to spend it on professional development? Rose started comedy at 15 years old. And when I started, I decided I would do it for 15 years and then go to Disneyland. There you go. You have everything already. What is next? There's so much more to do. I might write a movie one day. I like writing. As a keen purveyor of stand-up comics myself, I have noticed that your act is clean. I'm not terribly clean. I do say some swear sometimes. It's about writing what you know. And I'm not the bluest person. none of the Billy T nominees were racist or sexist. Feel like it's a new wave coming through. We are very stoked for you. I wore this Bart Simpson shirt the last time I was on the show. I do own more than one shirt. IF YOU REMEMBER YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY AS A KID, CHANCES ARE IT WAS CHEERIOS, JELLY AND CAKE. NOT NOW, THOUGH, AS MATT CHISHOLM FOUND OUT. WE KNOW THAT PEOPLE HAVE SPENT UP TO $10,000, $15,000. WE'RE AT A 1-YEAR-OLD'S PARTY WHERE MUM AND DAD HAVE DUG INTO THEIR SAVINGS TO FOOT THE BILL. THAT'S TOMORROW NIGHT. THAT'S ALL FOR US TONIGHT. SEE YOU LATER. CAPTIONS BY DESNEY SHAW AND ANNA BRACEWELL-WORRALL. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR.