I do know that I felt like I was made wrong. Tonight on 20/20 ` what if nature got it wrong? Hi, I'm Bryer Chalmers, and I'm a trans man. (CHUCKLES) An incredible journey to be the man he always knew he was. It's not something that's gonna happen overnight. I'm not gonna have that shot and wake up with moustache. Then he was unarmed and shot in the back. My son is gone. My son is gone. Nothing will bring him back. Was it self-defence... Once I got defence, I was absolutely outraged. ...or murder? And... Coast to coast, parties have been going viral and spiralling out of control, fuelled by Facebook, infused by Instagram and turbo-charged by Twitter. They urinated in every single drawer in my house. Copyright Able 2014 Kia ora. I'm Sonya Wilson. Now, there's nothing easy about what Bryer Chalmers has faced in his life so far, but he's far from alone. Many people around the world are born one gender but identify as the other. However, his is an incredibly unique story. Bryer has opened up to 20/20 in a way that has even surprised us. He's insightful, he's handsome and never does he shy away from any of Hannah Ockelford's curious ` and, at times, challenging ` questions. CURIOUS MUSIC It's how we look that tells the world who we are. It completely changes how you're treated. I've never been a miss or a lady. And I don't wanna be treated that way. Nature chooses for us, but what if nature made a mistake? I do know that I felt like I was made wrong. And I had a lot of anger. They are the fleshy lips and soft curves of a female's face, but Bryer's begun taking steps to ensure his outsides match who he is, and inside, Bryer is a man. It's... not scary. It's not... that unusual. Hi, I'm Bryer Chalmers, and I'm a trans man. (LAUGHS) Hi, I'm Bryer, and I'm a trans man. Welcome to my life. I was born biologically female. But in my mind I've always felt male. I used to get my parents and my friends to call me a different name. So I had Fred for a while. What was it to feel like a boy rather than a girl? I didn't wanna play with dolls, didn't wanna wear dresses. You know, didn't want to do those stereotypical` You know, didn't want to do those stereotypical` But a lot of girls don't. What made you transgender? I remember I was about 2 years old, and my mum was trying to explain to me why I wasn't a boy. And part of that explanation obviously was going into genitals and what girls have and what boys have. And so I told her that I'm growing one. I was growing a penis. Yep. CURIOUS MUSIC As Bryer grew up, he did what he could to present as male ` cut his hair off and dressed in guys' clothes. I was a pretty sad kid. Uh, and... yeah, kinda had drinking problems by about the age of 13. Just drunk a lot. I s'pose I just ignored myself. I didn't have a lot of respect for myself or my body because I felt so disconnected from this that I just` I didn't respect it. So put myself in a lot of situations that were, you know, dangerous or possibly traumatising. SOMBRE MUSIC He is caught in the middle. I just feel so... stuck and in limbo like this. While growing up in Manurewa, Bryer wasn't recognised as a guy or a girl,... Two mince-and-cheese pies, please. ...dealing with puberty and unsure of his sexuality. Did people think you were a lesbian? Did people think you were a lesbian? Yep. Did people think you were a lesbian? Yep. And that was OK? It didn't feel quite right, um, but it was easier. I mean, if you say to someone, 'Hey, yeah, I'm gay,' they go, 'OK, yeah, I know what that means.' But if you say, 'I'm transgender', or, 'I'm biological female, I identify as a male, 'and I'm into women, so I'm a straight man,' and people are, like, 'What?!' So, yeah, it was easier. It was just easier to say I'm a lesbian. That's a lot for people to get their head around. That's a lot for people to get their head around. Yeah. It is rather complicated, because gender identity and sexual identity are unrelated. Gender identity is about what gender ` male or female ` that you see yourself to be, while sexual identity is about who you're attracted to. All of my relationships so far have been with women where I was also treated as a woman, um, until now, until my partner who I'm with now. Right from the start, Bryer's been straight up. I was pretty honest. I see myself as a father and a husband. And that feels right. I don't want to be... a wife or a mother. Like, those terms are just` feel really wrong. How does your gender identity affect your sex life? Well, I guess, like, sex has always been the same for me. I've always, kind of, done it the same way, and that's pretty much like a straight guy. So in most cases it's,... you know, strapped on. strapped on. Does Alex have sex with you? strapped on. Does Alex have sex with you? Nah. No. I don't mind her, like, touching me and stuff like that. Um, but I don't` I don't enjoy penetration, so, nah, we don't go there. Does that mean you can't orgasm? Does that mean you can't orgasm? No, not at all. So, how do you, then? So, how do you, then? Um, well, we have strap-ons and so forth, and that` you know, just wearing them in a certain way that they will rub on the right places. At 29, Bryer's been presenting as male for years. I wear a binder ` a binder which flattens down the chest. What do you think of your breasts? What do you think of your breasts? I feel very detached from them. They're just kind of like this odd part that shouldn't be there. Just, yeah, lumps of fat that grew in the wrong place. Yeah. Now, he's preparing for the next step ` a medical transition, which involves injecting testosterone ` essentially going through puberty again, but this time as a guy. So, the testosterone will cause the clitoris to grow, not huge, um, but,... you know, an inch or two. And will you be able to use that as a penis? Um, well, I have heard of guys getting erections with it. Um, I don't think you could` Oh, depends how big it would get. I don't think you could do penetration with it. Um, it'd be kind of awkward. FAST-PACED MUSIC But the added hormones will make passing as a man easier, although there's no guarantee of a trouble-free transition. It's exciting, um, but I'm trying to be very patient and calm about it because it's not something that's gonna happen overnight. I'm not gonna have that shot and wake up with a moustache, you know. When we come back, we're with Bryer in Melbourne, nearly six months into his second puberty. There may be a point when she might not be attracted to me because I'm becoming more masculine. So how will his medical transition affect his once-lesbian relationship? So you still having sex, then? So you still having sex, then? Um... LAIDBACK MUSIC I s'pose in my day-to-day life I'm just... I'm just like everyone else. (CHUCKLES) Do your normal stuff. What's normal? POIGNANT MUSIC There was one time when I was probably about 14, I went sailing with my dad. I s'pose this is, like, when it started to hit home about how good it felt to be, um` I'm getting teary. It's so annoying. Um... (CHUCKLES) about how good it felt to be gendered as male. And the guy that we went sailing with assumed I was a guy. And so the entire time he just gendered me as male, and, um... SOFTLY: Fuck. (SNIFFLES) And Dad just let it be. And that was, yeah, a really good day. Bryer was born in a woman's body, but inside, he's a man. I s'pose having my dad there... And this is so annoying. Boys don't cry. Boys don't cry. (CHUCKLES) Stereotypes. Yeah. Yeah. Moved from Auckland, NZ to Melbourne, Australia. And I` you know, getting out of that past, um, has really helped me rediscover myself. And I think that's made it easier to decide to start transitioning. And, of course, I have a wonderful partner, who accepts me and doesn't love me because of a gender. When he first told me, I had this male stereotype in my head of Bryer in a wifebeater, resting a beer on his stomach, watching footy. That's sort of what went through my mind initially. UPBEAT MUSIC After years of presenting as a man, Bryer's nearly six months into his medical transition, injecting testosterone to force a second puberty. What do you reckon's changed? What do you reckon's changed? Um, obviously the voice has dropped a lot. Um, definitely got a lot more broader, like in the shoulders, and my face has kind of filled out a bit in here. And facial hair's starting to come through. Big win? Big win? Yeah, yeah, I love that. Were you worried that you would not find Bryer sexually attractive any more? It's had the opposite effect. We've become more attracted to each other because he feels more comfortable within himself. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Yeah. (CHUCKLES) That makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah. Bryer's revelling in the hallmarks of manliness. But while the many changes are welcome, he still needs time and support to adjust. I do have quite a few trans friends. But they're different sorts of relationships. With Jack it just feels really comfortable. What is he able to offer you in terms of support as you go through this process? We have similar ideas around the whole transition. I'm not doing this to become society's idea of what a man is. I'm doing this to become me and what I feel. Jack's been on hormone therapy for nearly three years. All the markers of masculinity, like flat chest, facial hair, like, muscles ` all that kind of stuff ` I spent about the first... year at least stressing, really highly stressed about it, and how I presented. And you made a comment earlier about facial hair, and I'm, like, just, 'It's all right, dude.' Just... It's on its way. It's on its way. It'll come, like... It must be nice seeing someone just that much further down the process than you. It'd be hard pushed to call Jack a chick these days, wouldn't it? (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) Oh, sometimes. Incredibly femme. Jack's gone a step further than hormones. He's had his breasts removed. which in trans lingo is called 'top surgery'. Um, I had some complications with my... One nipple half died. But the reality is that it's` it's a pretty serious kind of... Totally. Totally. ...surgery. So, you don't really know things are gonna go. And it's each individual. It's not like buying a KitKat. UPBEAT MUSIC While Bryer can shop around for the best surgeon, Jack's right ` transitioning is not a simple transaction. Are you counting? Are you counting? No. Are you counting? No. (CHUCKLES) Everybody is different and every body reacts differently. One thing I was worried about is because Alex is attracted to women would be that she might possibly not be that attracted to me any more, but that's... Yeah. Nah. Not at all. Definitely not. Is there any change in the way that you sleep together? Is there any change in the way that you sleep together? No, I don't think so. I mean, there's been some little added advantages along the way, obviously. Cos you get downstairs growth. It's definitely a lot more noticeable. Cos you get downstairs growth. It's definitely a lot more noticeable. Does it look funny? Nah. Nah. (LAUGHS) Nah. (LAUGHS) Nah, I don't think so. I guess some people might think it looks funny, but I like it. Yeah. It's kind of` I guess the sensation of it changes a little bit as well. Like, it's, um... it's not as sensitive. Is that a good thing? Is that a good thing? It is, because you can have more direct contact with it. Right. Right. Without it, like, making you jump. (LAUGHS) OK, my job is so weird sometimes. OK, my job is so weird sometimes. BOTH LAUGH You asked. You asked. (LAUGHS) What's not so easy to forget is society's reaction. Do you get viewed now as a heterosexual couple? Do you get viewed now as a heterosexual couple? Yeah, absolutely. Most of the time. Like, 99% of the time. How does that fit for you? It's pretty weird. I've taken the back seat, and Bryer gets all the attention, all the spotlight, because he's the man. He gets spoken to first. He gets more respect. He gets more acknowledgement. Wow. Wow. And I sort of, um,... just cruise along with him. So, um, does he come home to find you with a skirt, high heels, an apron and lipstick? BOTH CHUCKLE Never lipstick. Never high heels. Never an apron. No. (CHUCKLES) That's such a cliche. FUNKY MUSIC Bryer will have to inject testosterone for the rest of his life. A small sacrifice for the joy of finally being in the right body. Last thing on the list ` get rid of that lady chest. Yes. Yeah. I've had my first appointment, um, with the surgeon. So that's hopefully happening in May. That will be amazing. That will be amazing. Oh, incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just never gonna wear a shirt again. I'm just gonna be topless. Have to get yourself a six pack. Have to get yourself a six pack. Yeah. Yeah. How do you know I haven't got one? (CHUCKLES) Yeah, you know. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, you know. BOTH LAUGH (CHUCKLES) Yeah, you know. BOTH LAUGH Damn. What a cool couple. If you have got any questions or want to talk to anyone about gender identity, we have got links to GenderBridge and OUTLine on our Facebook page. Next up on 20/20 ` how does a teenage boy end up dead with a gunshot wound in his back? Is it murder or self defence? A family wants answers. RAPS: # The days go fast, but the time moves slow. # It's like I'm stuck in sand, but I can never let go. Hey. # He was a self-proclaimed rapper going by the name of Prince George. # Yo, Caleb. Prince George. # The core was his music, was his lyrics. I have 85 songs I have collected. Good kid, Shawn? > Good kid, Shawn? > Great kid. He was very respectful, very polite. Partier? Partier? SCOFFING: No. Like, he did not drink. And that's what makes that night even more peculiar, even more odd. We're walking to school. And out of character for Caleb. He's not much of a drinker. But he just, I guess, wanted to try for that night. Yet, the one time Caleb decided to let loose, he would wind up dead in a stranger's home. PEOPLE CHEER MAN: You know the one thing every great city has in common ` and I know because I've been to them all ` is when you walk outside, the show never stops. INSPIRATIONAL ROCK MUSIC MUSIC SWELLS MUSIC CONTINUES 1 Auckland ` the show never stops. Welcome back. One night last spring, 16-year-old Caleb Gordley snuck out of his house to party with some friends just a few blocks away. At 2.30 in the morning, a drunk Caleb walked to what he thought was his home but mistakenly entered the wrong house. The started homeowner thought a burglar had entered his house, grabbed his gun and fired two warning shots. Now, when those shots went unheeded, he fired two more shots and killed Caleb. So was the killing justifiable? Deborah Roberts speaks to Caleb's parents, who are, of course, outraged and to the sheriff in charge of the case. It was a late Saturday night last spring. Caleb Gordley (16) had a secret plan ` to sneak out of his house to go party with some friends. A popular three-sport athlete at Parkview High School in Virginia, Caleb was also an aspiring rapper, seeing himself as the next Jay-Z. RAPS: # The days go fast, but the time moves slow. # It's like I'm stuck in sand, but I can never let go. Hey. # He was a self-proclaimed rapper going by the name of Prince George. # Yo, Caleb, Prince George... # The core was his music, was his lyrics. I have 85 songs that I have collected. Good kid, Shawn? > Good kid, Shawn? > Great kid. He was very respectful, very polite. Partier? No. Like, he did not drink. And that's what makes that night even more peculiar, even more odd. We're walking to school. And out of character for Caleb. He's not much of a drinker, but he just, I guess, wanted to try for that night. Yet the one time Caleb decided to let loose, he would wind up dead in a stranger's home. It all began with a typical teen punishment. He was grounded because he went to the park after I told him to clean his room. I said, 'One week, you cannot go anywhere. You go to school, go to practice. Then come straight home.' And he accepted it. He doesn't talk back. He doesn't get up in my face. He said, 'All right, Dad.' By the end of the week, Caleb is itching to get out of the house. # He really wants to party. Don't wanna get nothing... # Tweeting throughout the day, 'Honestly, who's throwing a party tonight?' 'I'm trying to have fun tonight, no lie.' Caleb and sister Eden are living with their dad. Their parents, Shawn and Jennea, are divorced. Their firstborn was a natural ham. Caleb here at 6 busting a move to 'N Sync's 'Girlfriend'. # You don't know, cos things ain't clear... # He just had that energy that really attracted a lot of people to him. Because he was so fun and good-hearted. He just loved laughing and joking. To give their kids a better life, the Gordleys left behind the tough, crime-ridden streets of Dayton, Ohio, for the tranquil suburbs of Sterling, Virginia, where Shawn is a corporate IT manager. I was happy with the area; I was happy with the school. The community seemed to be very active and social and kind of close-knit. After the split, Jennea moved back to Ohio to go to school, but never missed a beat with her kids. How much did you monitor his social media accounts? How much did you monitor his social media accounts? A lot. And that was the one time I didn't in that particular day. I would have saw the signs if I would have just looked that day. I would have saw the signs if I would have just looked that day. About the parties and` He was looking for someplace to go that night. So at the stroke of midnight, Caleb slips out of his two-story home. He would never return. Caleb's first mistake would happen just after arriving at a buddy's house a few blocks away. Some of the boys begin tossing back vodka shots. By 2am a woozy Caleb decides it's time to go home before his dad notices he's gone. Good friend Kory Carico was with Caleb. I took him back to my house. I was gonna make him stay there, but he knew he had to get home. I knew that for sure. Cos he kept bothering us about it. Staggering now, Caleb needs his sober friend to walk him the few blocks home to his quiet cul-de-sac where many of the houses in the development look nearly identical. We crossed this fence cos all the houses are similar, and once we crossed we came up to this window over here. You thought this was the window? You thought this was the window? Yeah, we thought this was the window. I just opened it up. I've never come in the back way before. It looks different from the back. I always come from the front when I come pick him up in the morning, so I figured it was his house cos he thought it was his house, too. Did you just, sort of, like, shove Caleb in? Did you just, sort of, like, shove Caleb in? No, he went in himself. The alarm went off, and then I saw the light come on and then I heard yelling, which I thought was his dad, so then I ran because I thought I was going to get in trouble. Turns out it's not Caleb's dad. In fact, it's not even Caleb's house. It's the neighbour's home two doors down. The startled homeowner grabs his 40-calibre pistol that he kept next to his bed thinking a burglar has broken in at 2.30 in the morning. In the chilling moments that follow ` gunshots. GUNSHOTS REVERBERATE How many times was Caleb actually physically shot? Once. Out of four shots, he was hit once. A developing story now out of Sterling... Loudon County sheriff's deputies responded to a burglary with shots fired... The next morning, news of a shooting quickly spreads through the neighbourhood. At Caleb's home, there's panic. His sister, Eden, realises her brother isn't in his bed. My friend's mother called her and told her that someone two doors away from us had gotten shot. She said somebody was trying to break in. I told my dad, and he was, like, 'I woke up this morning and Caleb's not home. I don't know where he is.' I ran over to the neighbour's house, knocked on the door and didn't find out any information. I ran back in the house, called 911` What's going through your mind at this point? What's going through your mind at this point? I know my son's dead. I know he's dead. Cory dropped Caleb off at my house at 2.30 in the morning, and there was a shooting in my neighbourhood at 2.30, and I can't find my son. I knew it instantly. His 16-year-old son shot dead. I could barely talk. And I was so lost. And I couldn't fathom surviving this. I just` No. I was like, 'What`? There's no` No. There's no going beyond this.' Eden and Shawn break the unbearable news to Jennea in Ohio. Overcome with grief, she heads to Virginia. I wept in the airport, I wept on the plane in front of strangers, and it didn't even matter. You lost your son. Did you understand at all what had happened? I did. I understood that, you know, he made a mistake. And it cost him his life. Yeah, my handsome man. A life even Caleb realised was fragile. This is a new microphone. Trust me, I have, like, six songs I'm going to be putting out today. And one of those songs he wrote just months before dying is oddly prophetic. Called 'Wreckless', with the sound of gunshots in the background, Caleb rapped... His own life cut heartbreakingly short in what seemed a classic case of self-defence. Somebody breaking into your house that you don't know. This person's going up the stairs, going towards where the homeowner's family was. I guess he felt in fear for their lives. I mean, I put it on me at first. I thought it was all my fault, because I took him to the wrong house. But you realised it was a tragic mistake. But you realised it was a tragic mistake. Yeah. Both Shawn and Jennea believed it was an awful accident, until they got the police report. What it revealed would change everything for Caleb's parents. Once I got the details, I was absolutely outraged. Was it self-defence or something else? Murder. Stay with us. An incredible journey to be # Yeah. # After a night of drinking, 16-year-old Caleb Gordley mistakenly entered the wrong house and was shot dead by his neighbour just two doors down. In the immediate aftermath of the shooting, Caleb's father, Shawn, was on a mission. And that was to let the world know my son made a mistake. He was not there to harm anybody or rob anybody. That's all I cared about. Letting everybody know he went to the wrong house. You said right after this happened you felt forgiving towards your neighbour? Correct. Correct. Do you still? Correct. Do you still? No, not 1% forgiving. I'll tell him right here and right now. I apologise for my son entering your house. I will take that. Beyond that, there is no forgiveness. Once I got the details, I was absolutely outraged. This is a horrible, horrible set of circumstances for the family; horrible set of circumstances for the shooter. But five months after Donald West Wilder ` seen here and identified to us by neighbours ` shot and killed their teen son... My son is gone. My son is gone. Nothing will bring him back. ...Shawn and Jennea are no longer conciliatory. It sounded like a mistaken identity. Someone thinks there's a burglar in their home and they're defending themselves. Never, during the homeowner's account of the events, did he ever describe Caleb in any way as being aggressive, ill intent. He did not approach him. He did not come after him in a violent way. In fact, Kory Carico says his friend Caleb was visibly impaired when he tried getting him home. He was stumbling a lot. He, kind of, fell down on the sidewalk a couple times. Even though he had to be home, I probably should have just kept him at my house` I mean, or waited a little bit longer. Shawn is convinced that his son was confused, since his home has a nearly identical floor plan to the neighbours. From the vantage point of Wilder upstairs, Shawn showed us what he thinks happened according to the police report. He was crawling into his window? Correct. Correct. Where do you think the homeowners saw him first? According to the police report, the homeowner came down this hall, immediately saw Caleb in the kitchen area, he saw his face. He did not recognise him, and he yelled at him to get out of the house. He suspects his intoxicated son believed he was hearing his dad's angry voice. So, Caleb would have continued on thinking he's going to his bedroom, you think? Yes, correct. But remember, the 6' tall boy is in Wilder's home and headed toward the bedrooms of Wilder's fiancee and her son. The homeowner said he made eye contact with Caleb and there was a dazed look on his face. So he knew he was on drugs, alcohol, whatever the case may be, and as he came up the steps, he said he saw no weapon. Wilder then yells out and fires a warning shot, fearing the unknown intruder who's making his way upstairs near his family. Caleb then, according to a statement, turned around, didn't attack the person shooting at him and simply said, according to the statement, 'You just shot me.' Then the end for Caleb ` the ending Shawn finds unconscionable. The autopsy report revealing the cold hard fact that Caleb was shot in the back. The homeowner angled against the wall and fired, through Caleb's chest, and then a fourth shot passed Caleb's head, then he aimed at his head, missed. Caleb then took two more steps and fell face down on the floor, right in front of what he thought was his own bedroom. I don't care if you're in the wild West. I don't care if you're in the hood. There is no honour in shooting somebody in the back. So why would the homeowner fire multiple times when this person didn't appear to have a weapon? It's 2.30 in the morning. You have a person that comes in through a window. The alarm sounds off. I mean, he was 6' tall, unknown to the homeowner, wearing dark clothing. The homeowner advised him to stop, you know, and that he would shoot, and Caleb continued to come forward. He lined himself up at the perfect angle to shoot a hollow-point bullet through my son's lung and explode his chest and then a fourth shot at his head for good measure. That's what he did. Do you see it as murder or accidental shooting? Murder. Murder. Murder? Murder. Murder? Mm. He shot him in the back. If you're really in fear of danger of your life and your family's life, why would you allow a person that you` that appeared to be dazed to you, walk right past you and then you shoot him in the back? If Caleb would have crossed that street right there and get hit by a car, I would have nobody to blame but Caleb. I have somebody else to blame for my son's death. I just do. This kid is a kid of colour, black kid. Did that have any impact on this case? I can't see that it would. The entire situation was just bad all the way around. Somebody coming into your house. Not stopping when you're giving them commands to stop. Somebody continued to advance on you, going up the stairs where your family is. The homeowner has not spoken out publicly. Have you had any sense of how this has impacted him? In conversations with my detectives, I understand that he was devastated by what had happened. So much so that he had to take a couple weeks off. After an investigation, no charges were filed against Donald West Wilder, a volunteer firefighter who owns a consulting company. Though his attorney he declined our request for an interview, saying, 'The incident was an unfortunate tragedy on every level. 'But as we are not confident that participating in your programme 'would contribute to the healing process, we are unwilling to so participate.' 10 months after their son's death, Shawn and Jennea Gordley still can't understand how a teenage mistake can end so tragically. The man who took her son's life did reach out to the Gordleys through his attorney, saying he was sad about what happened, but Shawn threw out the note, offended by its formal tone. Do I hate him? No. Do I want him put away? No. I don't think that's going to solve anything. Do you want to hear from him personally? Do you want to hear from him personally? I would love to. He's two doors down? He's two doors down? Two doors down. Do you still see this neighbour? Do you still see this neighbour? I never saw him before. I haven't seen him since. Some people would have packed up and moved right away, but yet you've somehow managed to stay here. The first few months, there was no way I was leaving. I keep the door closed because it smells like him in here still, after all these months. I smell him right now, on his blanket, on his pillow. We haven't washed anything. We haven't vacuumed. I come in here, sometimes, I'd` I'll take a nap on his bed. And he awakens to a wall of emotional memories, scrawled by Caleb's classmates who were shattered by their friend's sudden death. I don't know anybody who didn't like him for any reason. He just put a smile on your face. Absolutely great kid. This was his 16th birthday. So this is his last birthday. His son would be 17 now, a high-school senior making college plans with his friend Kory. He's such a great friend. It's a shame you never knew him. He was such a funny person. I truly believe that my son was a gift. Yeah, we got 16� awesome years. I will hold on to that. Next up on 20/20 ` it could be coming to your house. A party, a Facebook invite, a retweet and boom ` 500 of your 'closest friends' at your house, just like that. In Houston, Texas an invitation went viral on Facebook and Twitter. Almost a thousand people showed up at this empty mansion. When police were called to break it up, one partier started shooting. One was dead. So how do you put a fire like this out? Well, you look for the smoke signals online. That's exactly what the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department is doing, creating a specialised unit ` the first and only one of its kind ` dedicated to watching parties in real time through social media. Lieutenant Rod Armalin runs this unprecedented team. Like the CIA that listens for terrorist chatter, this unit listens for dangerous party buzz, hoping to break up the bashes before they get really bad. Welcome back. It happens every weekend here in NZ too. Party invites are posted on social media sites and quickly turn 40 guests into 400. But in LA, there's a new sheriff in town. The county's E-COMM unit monitors social media on Friday and Saturday nights to find the parties before they spiral out of control. Tonight 20/20 rides along with that unit, armed with tips they've found online. And for these teens, nothing's a bigger buzzkill than a bunch of cops. HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS Remember in the movie Mean Girls when Lindsay Lohan threw a party for a few of her closest friends,... Do I know you? ...whom she had never met? Now more than ever, a few friends takes on a whole new meaning. Seems Miley was right on the money. # It's a party in the USA. # Coast to coast, parties have been viral and spiralling out of control, fuelled by Facebook, infused by Instagram and turbo-charged by Twitter. In Colorado, when a few students gathered for a little pool party, they texted their friends, and they texted their friends, and in no time... This is the biggest party I've ever seen in my life. News of the party made a splash on the internet. And so did 500 kids. I didn't think it'd get that big. As the booze started flowing, the pool started overflowing. Police showed up and made four arrests. 10 partiers were taken to the hospital. In a Boston suburb, Jill Abbott's 18-year-old son was staying with a neighbour when they were on vacation in Paris. When he went home to feed the cat, police say a few classmates barged into the house, then went on Facebook to announce a party. One of them had put on Facebook, 'Call or text ` rager. For details call this number. A hundred teens showed up and caused $45,000 in damage. They urinated in every single drawer in my house. But sometimes it can go from disgusting to deadly. In Houston, Texas an invitation went viral on Facebook and Twitter. Almost a thousand people showed up at this empty mansion. When police were called to break it up, one partier started shooting. One was dead. So how do you put a fire like this out? Well, you look for the smoke signals online. That's exactly what the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department is doing, creating a specialised unit ` the first and only one of its kind ` dedicated to watching parties in real time through social media. Lieutenant Rod Armalin runs this unprecedented team. Like the CIA that listens for terrorist chatter, this unit listens for dangerous party buzz, hoping to break up the bashes before they get really bad. We're on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. And you're using search terms like 'bring your own beer', 'party tonight', 'kickback tonight'. It's new-age data mining with e-vites in hand. These are Facebook and Twitter parties. Looks like we got, I believe, six locations we're gonna go to ` six parties. Acting on tips from Twitter and Facebook, the unit rolls out, and we are along for the ride. First stop is advertised on Facebook as a birthday party. Like many, this invite boasts 'goodies', code for pot, pills and the latest party drug of choice, nitrous oxide ` the gas that you get in a dentist's office, known as 'nos'. Nothing bad's happening... We arrive with the team at 8.44. So this is the party that they say 'massive backyard' on this Facebook post. Officers are in there now checking it out, seeing what's in there, seeing who's in there. We found a couple of tanks back there. They fill the balloons with the gas. And a balloon will see for anywhere from 5 bucks to 10 bucks a balloon. And then the kids inhale the gas out of the balloon, so... You can feel the air escape the party when Mom comes home and the lieutenant wants to talk. They didn't want to show their faces on national television. You had two empty nitrous oxide tanks, you have balloons, and I am telling you that we would be making arrests if those tanks were full. This has to stop. This can't go on. The night is still young. The team is ready to party on. Tipped off by social media, the team drops in. Nothing's a bigger buzzkill than a bunch of cops. 10.52, Lieutenant Armalin and his team arrive. Partiers disperse, leaving a trail of evidence ` bottles, Jell-O shots and a nos tank. So police say they were selling these Jell-O shots to minors inside that party. And it looks like the homeowners are coming here right now. Our party patrol is getting ready to talk to them. They're having a party in the back. They're having a party in the back. WOMAN: Yeah. They're having a party in the back. WOMAN: Yeah. They're selling nitrous oxide and` No, no, no. She doesn't understand why what she thought was to be a small gathering turned out to be a bash with much more than booze. The officers are telling her there's nitrous oxide inside this party. And she's saying, 'No, there's no way.' I didn't believe it. Then he showed me the flyer. The flyer. That's when you said, 'What, it's on the internet?' It showed that that tank was gonna be here and the beer and... And your address was out there for everyone to see. And your address was out there for everyone to see. So they could still come by and... Yeah. You might- You might see some more people walking by. Yeah. You might- You might see some more people walking by. Oh my goodness. Even some of the kids can't believe the party was online. < It was on the internet. < It was on the internet. This party? This was a flyer off the internet? This was a flyer off the internet? For this party. Oh, that's great. I'm gonna send a shout out there ` if you're gonna have a party, don't put a flyer out on Facebook. 12.06am, last stop for the night. Call it new-age event planning ` and invite for a blowout at a Zumba studio. These kids paying admission to be out of their parents' purview for the night. But they couldn't escape the long arm of Lieutenant Armalin and his posse. The lieutenant and his unit walked in, didn't like what was happening inside and kicked everybody out. As partiers streamed out, they left behind remnants of the night ` beer cans, balloons and those nos tanks. Party hosts Maria and Kimberley underestimated the power of social media. Did you expect it to get this big? Um, no, we didn't expect that. Um, no, we didn't expect that. There was like 500 people. We didn't expect` There was? There was? Yes. There was? Yes. Oh my God! So many people were there, as they saw it on social media. I mean, effectively they invite the entire world if they choose to. Now Lieutenant Armalin has an instant message for parents, property owners and party promoters. We need the parents to be educated on this. They had no idea their children were using social media to get the attention of the world about this party they were throwing. And you can see what happens when they do do that. Now a piece of news from one of our familiar faces on 20/20. We've followed Parris Goebel and her hip-hop dance crews through their international success. And last night, Parris was honoured for her work, taking home the Young NZer of the Year at the Kiwibank Awards. A huge congratulations to you, Parris, from all of the team here at 20/20. And before we go, here's a teaser of what's coming up next week. AVICII'S 'HEY BROTHER' Whoo! Whoo! Shark here. Look at this beautiful mako. Might have to lift my feet up. Oh, there he is. No cage. None. Nothing. Just in. Water. Shark. Us. Now I will definitely outline that this is not recommended for people without trained professionals. So she should not do this by herself. But with us, you're gonna have a blast. And it's gonna change your perception of sharks. They are absolutely crazy. She has ridden on the back of a great white. Check that out. Check that out. Oh my God. He is our own shark expert. I'm Riley Elliott, and this is Ocean Ramsey, and today we're looking at the fastest shark in the sea. Every single time I see a shark, I get excited. There's love there. But it appears their craziness is catching,... I feel like Miranda. Not Miranda Kerr, either. The other Miranda. You know the one. Let's go! Let's go! Whoo! Let's go! Whoo! Jump in! ...cos they've convinced me to give it a go too. Is that fun, Charlie? Is that fun, Charlie? RAPID GUNFIRE A year-long investigation taking the pulse rate of America. Oh my God. What kids do when adults aren't looking. Boys, girls, with a pink 'My First Rifle'. The bad part is that sometimes you don't know if they're a fake gun or a real gun. But what about parents who say, 'Put guns in their hands'? Guns don't have to be bad. Quench their curiosity as young as 4. You gotta know there are a lot of parents out there who will say... You gotta know there are a lot of parents out there who will say... They're gonna be outraged. Now, if you want to see any of tonight's stories again, you can head to our website. It's... You can also email us at... Or, of course, go to our Facebook page, as many of you do. We're at... And let us know your thoughts on tonight's show. Well, thanks for all your feedback over the past week. We're interested in your stories as always.