q Brought to you by Mazda. Tonight on Sunday ` When I started, I was terrified. The man behind the pictures... I feel like I won't be able to live with myself if I know these animals on the farms are suffering. ...revealing more evidence about where our pork comes from. Farmwatch are arguing they're doing their job for you. What would you say to that? I just don't accept that. From lad to dad. Press this one. Oh! he fell over. A journey of discovery... I don't remember being exposed to anything like this ever in my life. ...into what the next generation are watching online. Pornography is actually sexually traumatising an entire generation of boys. Should we be worried? And growing up a small-town boy... At that stage in my life, it was very hard. ...with two mums,... At the beginning, you know, I did not like her at all. ...and not just any mum. You know, at the beginning, it was fine, but I think it, you know, got harder for him. # And I'll be leaving for work soon. # How music healed him. Something has happened, like, there's something magic. Copyright Able 2014 Kia ora, I'm Miriama Kamo. A big show tonight ` that lovely and touching insight into unexpected motherhood with the Topp Twins, but first, a warning to pig farmers ` you may be under secret surveillance. Now, this emerges in the wake of Sunday's investigation into pig farming. This week we obtained footage of disturbing abuse towards pigs by farm workers. As they kicked, punched, and beat pigs, the workers were unaware that a hidden camera was filming them the whole time. Farmwatch, the activist group that planted the camera, say this footage dismisses claims that abuse within the industry is rare. We warn some of this footage may be disturbing and parental caution is advised. This from Ian Sinclair. PULSATING MUSIC When I started, I was terrified. I would be overwhelmingly anxious before heading out. John Darroch, activist, photographer. And when I got home, I just wouldn't be able to sleep for hours and hours and hours. It was ver` incredibly stressful work to do. But to John Darroch, his work ` under cover of darkness ` to expose the hidden world of factory farming is worth it. I feel like I have to. Like, I feel like I won't be able to live with myself if I know these animals are on these farms suffering. SINISTER MUSIC You saw his pictures on Sunday last week on a South Island pig farm, taken for the activist group Farmwatch. I think that the public has no idea where their meat and eggs are coming from. PIGS SQUEAL They're just babies, clearly in distress and stomping` Look at that. Yeah, just stomping on their backs, stomping on their heads. This week, totally new farm, new pictures from the North Island. < It's, like, absolutely brutal. God. Pictures provided to the animal rights campaigners SAFE. I don't think anyone could look at this not be shocked. And for the first time, it's a hidden camera left on a farm for several weeks. So, they just picked this farm totally at random, PIGS SQUEAL, MAN YELLS As they herd piglets towards a truck, farmworkers are unaware that a hidden camera is watching them from the rafters. In panic, the piglets become jammed on the ramp. The front ones can't move, trapping the others behind. MAN YELLS And the workers here are just trying to get the piglets on to the truck as quickly as possible. PIGLETS SQUEAL And the workers are then punching them. PIGLETS SQUEAL Then a glimpse of one piglet trapped and injured under the others. It's lying on the ground after the rest go into the truck. It's lying there... breathing, so it isn't actually dead, but it's almost dead, and it's just lying there breathing, and a worker just comes over, picks it up by its legs and just walks off out of frame with it. In other loadings, pigs were kicked, even hurled into the truck. (YELLS) They are not allowed to treat animals like that. I think that the culture on these farms is that these animals are just objects, that this is a job they do that they want to get through it as quickly as possible. John Darroch's concern for animal rights has taken him into nearly a hundred farms. I've been going on to factory farms, investigating them, taking photos, for about seven years now. Though the visits are done in secret, he makes no secret of his campaign. In 2010, I was part of an investigation into pig farming which found horrific conditions that pigs were being kept in right across the Waikato. I decided to chain myself to a silo on a pig farm, 'and I spent 15 hours chained to a silo in the Waikato on a very hot day,' trying to draw public attention to this issue and trying to get some momentum for change. But four years later, John sees little change. Back at the farm we showed earlier, his camera captures another scene ` a worker with a gun, apparently to euthanase a pig. We are seeing the farm workers walking around the pig with guns. It's not` And this goes on for some time. It is not clear whether they actually do shoot her or not. And what unravels is brutal. The gun is gone. The pig ` still alive ` appears in shot, and a worker grabs a hammer. We can't show you the full force of the pig's end, because it's too disturbing. There's a pig lying on the ground, and he starts hitting it with an object, bludgeoning it in the head with a hammer. And he's bludgeoning it repeatedly and then walking away. The animal` The sow is lying there on the ground, still breathing but unable to move, and then he comes back and starts beating her again, and this happens on and off for over an hour, and it takes over an hour for the sow to die. So, what have you done with the evidence? I understand that MPI have got a copy of the footage that we've obtained. We can't condone what's in there and what we've seen. MPI director of compliance Dean Baigent says the footage is under investigation. We have been out to the property in question and interviewed some of the key players under a Bill of Rights interview. For the activists, that video represents a failure of inspectors to inspect. It was pretty shocking what they managed to get. If that's what's happening on a random farm, what's going on in the others? But I don't believe it's as systemic as what is being portrayed by SAFE. But with only 11 inspectors for over 100 million animals, how will MPI really know what's going on? The reality is, yeah, we don't have a proactive regime where we can go on and inspect every farm. But we do have this layered approach where there are critical checks and balances. While that may not be satisfactory and we do end up with some outcomes like we saw the other day, I guess, at the end of the day, we just have to be accepting of our level of investment in it to get a compliance rate which we are currently satisfied with. SAFE say they and Farmwatch are doing their job for you. What would you say to that? Well, I'd sort of take a few issues with SAFE feeling that they're doing our job, because as a regulatory agency, we certainly have to act in accordance with the rules of NZ. One of those we have to adhere to is the search and surveillance rule, and if any of my inspectors were breaking into properties and illegally filming activities, the consequences of that as a regulatory agency, with coercive powers of the state, would, in fact, be very serious, and we can't do that. While MPI can't, Farmwatch believes they can enter without breaking the law. < Do you break in? < Do you break in? No. With Farmwatch, we have never done any damage to any farm. So, then, how do you get in? We'll climb fences. Well, usually it's just, like, a three-wire fence. We'd hop the fence and usually just walk up the driveway, straight up the driveway, find an open door and go inside and start filming. There's honestly nothing more to it than that. But how can the inspectors always know what goes on behind their backs? To be fair to the inspectors on the job, they wouldn't see farmers and farm workers > doing this kind of thing to animals in front of them, so what could they do about it? Of course, yeah, that` that is true. I mean, what we would like to see happen is that animals would have an independent voice, something like a Commissioner for Animals. And perhaps a Commissioner for Animals might do what they are actually considering in the UK now, and that's CCTV cameras in slaughterhouses and farms to make` to make sure that, um, those animals are OK. In the meantime, the activists warn farmers they'll be watching with their own hidden cameras. We will continue to go behind these closed doors, and we will show the public what they don't want them to see. So my message is that no matter what you try and do, we will continue to expose the way these industries treat animals. And the MPI investigation into the North Island farm is ongoing, and we'll update you on the outcome. Well, coming up, should we be worried about what our kids are watching online? 'My lad, Sonny, is now 4, and he is my beautiful little boy.' Oh! He fell over. But according to the Children's Commissioner, kids may be exposed to online pornography by the age of 10. So what delights has Sonny got in store? There's only one way to find out. Can I help you? Can I help you? You know what this guy's problem is? What? What? He's so busy planning and building things for his customers that he's overlooking his most important project. that he's overlooking his most important project. Which is? His life ` planning and building his own business. Maybe he needs to talk to someone. He just needs to take the first step. ANZ has more local business bankers with the expertise to help you make your business a success. Welcome back. It wasn't so long ago that pornography was mostly about a few magazines or dodgy movies. Today, our kids are the first generation to grow up with easy access to hardcore porn. With their smartphones and fast download speeds, they're able to see things never meant for them. So, what's it doing to their brains? Is internet porn turning them into teenage addicts? Martin Daubney with this story. And a warning ` there's sexual imagery and language, and it's not suitable for younger viewers. QUIRKY MUSIC My own career in porn started by accident. My dad was a miner and a bit of a lad. One Christmas, when I was 10, I went looking for my presents. I was getting Subbuteo that year. I remember it with total clarity. Right, I went under the bed and my innocence was forever damaged by a biscuit tin I found. It contained some porn mags thick with coal dust, so I think that means they weren't Mum's. > It could` It could've been. Anyway, those things were private. You should never have had your nose into them anyway. In actual fact, I think finding those magazines was a bit of a moment. Was it? Was it? Yeah, because` > You realised that's what you was gonna grow into. You was gonna be one. What? A` A wanker. A` A wanker. BOTH LAUGH After my dalliance with Dad's biscuit tin, my access to porn pretty much dried up. No surprise, then, that my first act of manual relief was to a biology textbook from the school library at a tender age of 13. But in 1984, my world changed forever when we got our first VHS recorder. ...carries this symbol as a warning that it contains sexual imagery that you may find offensive. By 16, I was bored of wanking, so I started a band with my mate Nige. I grew up, I became a journalist, and by 2003, I was editor of Loaded. With its diet of girls, booze and celebrities, we were living the dream. Some called Loaded porn, but hey, it was the noughties. DIAL-UP TONE BEEPS By 2008, download speeds had gone from an achingly slow 40 kilobytes a second to a blinding 3.6 megabytes per second. The age of innocence was over. Then I became a dad. I left Loaded and embarked on what I called a porn vacation. My lad, Sonny, is now 4, and he is my beautiful little boy. Oh! He fell over. But according to the Children's Commissioner, kids may be exposed to online pornography by the age of 10. So what delights has Sonny got in store? SINISTER MUSIC There's only one way to find out. I typed four letters into Google. Here we go, then. It's been a while, so how much has porn changed? The first thing I see is, um, two gaping orifices. It looks like some sort of sea creature. It's literally within two seconds of logging on. It's bang, straight in there. He's got hold of her hair. He's twisting her head back. Granny porn. So this is 10 seconds into our journey. Oh God. Yep, she's this old granny you'd expect to see making jam, not making porn. Of course, there was hardcore stuff around in my day, but you had to make a proper effort to find it, and it was bloody expensive. Now you just click, and it's all there. For free. And if I can access it this easily, then surely anyone can. So is this what kids are streaming on their smartphones and passing round the playground like Top Trumps? To find out, I'm going to have to talk to the kids themselves, so I'm visiting York High School, where a group of 13-year-olds to 15-year-olds have been asked to compile an A-Z of words they know about sex from the internet. So how do they know all this stuff? It pops up at any time. It could be on Facebook or advertisements. You don't have any control over it. It'll just pop up. You don't have any control over it. It'll just pop up. Yeah, you're just going on Facebook, and then you're just scrolling down, and it just there. and then you're just scrolling down, and it just there. Cos someone in your friends list have commented on it or liked it, it comes up on your home page. That Facebook stuff's only been coming on last couple of months, hasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. From pigs to dogs to fish. To horse. To horse. To horse. To horse. To horse. That's just... < You wouldn't go out for a date with a horse, would you? < You wouldn't go out for a date with a horse, would you? ALL LAUGH It's just disgusting. It's just disgusting. Ongoing. I mean, do you have parental control at home? I mean, do you have parental control at home? Nah, my mum trusts me. People that watch it are gonna find a way to watch it if their parents did do that anyway, wouldn't they? I find it quite dirty and disturbing. So British teenagers are just consuming porn wholesale? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whether they want to or not, these children are watching explicit material online, some of which is even illegal. And judging by the advanced vocabulary, they've been at it for some time. I decided to dig a little deeper into this rolling buffet of online depravity. I like to think I'm unshockable, but within a few clicks, things got really dark. God. There's a woman lying in a public park; there's a guy lying down with a gimp mask on The next one I've just come straight across looks like child porn. Can't look at this. Sorry. I'm hoping and praying this is, like, kind of staged incest, really. I don't remember being exposed to anything like this ever in my life. Now we're just seeing something that's just all about a world of male domination and female humiliation. One man who knows all about these problems is Jon Grant. A US-based clinician and world-renowned expert in addiction, he's seeing more and more young men with porn-related problems, including erectile dysfunction. 15 years ago, I would say my average patient was probably 40, 50 years old. Now ` university students, so 18, 19, 20 is very routine. You can get on the internet anywhere, everywhere at the age of, whatever, 12, as soon as you hit puberty and start, um, looking at pornography. Professor Grant worried that online porn is affecting young people's brains. We know that all sorts of behaviours that we do activate our brain. I mean, we run, we expect people to get a runner's high, right, which is an endorphin release, and so it shouldn't be really a surprise that if I look at porn all day, my grandma could tell you there's something wrong with you. So what sort of lad spends all day watching porn? A socially awkward geek who lives in a basement? And anyway, why would they want to talk to me? Imagine my surprise, then, when I met Calum. He's 19, an apprentice, and he's volunteered to speak out about the effects on porn on young people. At first, obviously, I didn't know the limits and the bounds of what is extreme, until I'd speak to my friends, and I'd find out how much they view of porn, and it just didn't compare. Like, every bit of spare time I have in the day is watching porn. I felt that that is extreme. How many times a day? 15 or 16 times. That's why I'm coming for help, because I wanna be able to control it, because if I don't do it, it may help me to think that, like, sex is a lot more pleasurable. That's what I was hoping, really. That's what I was hoping, really. You've been very open and brave, you know, 'I'm addicted to porn.' How do you think people are gonna react to that? How do you think people are gonna react to that? Obviously, it'll be a bit alien to some people, but then others may understand it, because they may be facing the same problem but don't come public with it, because some people see it as a topic that shouldn't be talked about. So Calum feels like he's addicted. Now, if that's true, then the next step is to work out what the brain of a porn addict looks like. Using an MRI scanner, the research is startling. Are you relaxed? Are you relaxed? Good to go. Are you relaxed? Good to go. OK, we're gonna start. We're just having a quick scroll through his brain, making sure everything's where it should be. The results are painting a pretty scary picture. If we allow our children free access to online porn, that's like leaving heroin lying around the house. Welcome back. For the 19-year-old porn user in our story, his porn addiction isn't recognised until science can see it as fact. This is where a top neuroscientist at Cambridge University comes in. Dr Valerie Voon is a global authority on addiction and what it does to an addict's brain. In recent years, functional MRI scanners have allowed scientists to peer inside the brains of those addicted to substances like alcohol, nicotine or cocaine to see how they differ from the rest of us. No one has ever scanned the brains of porn users who feel like they are addicted. Even Valerie took some convincing. I wasn't sure what to expect when I first started this study, to be perfectly frank, and in part because we just know so little about it. I was quite sceptical. After a nationwide search, we found 20 men aged 19 to 34 whose lives were so controlled by porn, they were willing to take part in our study. You relatively comfortable? They didn't want to be identified, but they were prepared to be scanned by Dr Voon. They'd be compared with a control group of healthy male volunteers. ...screen in a moment. We're running a series of tests using functional MRI to look at brain activity. We're asking whether or not there might be differences in terms of brain activity in specific regions. Are you relaxed? Are you relaxed? Good to go. Are you relaxed? Good to go. OK, we're gonna start. We're just having a quick scroll through his brain, making sure that, um, everything's where it should be, like you would do with a bald egg ` just take the top off. The subject of the study was shown images of explicit porn to see if their reward centres would respond in the same way as drug addicts. If they did, it would suggest that porn might indeed be addictive for them. Although I wasn't part of the study, I had volunteered to be scanned for the programme, and by this point, I was absolutely crapping myself. After all, I spent 15 years of my career microanalysing naked women. Would I be exposed as a porn fiend? One last scan. When the data was analysed, the results were astounding. While the ordinary people were clearly excited by porn, as you'd expect, the compulsive users' brains were twice as active in their ventral striatum, just like addicts responding to drugs or alcohol. In people who are dependent on nicotine, alcohol or cocaine, when they're exposed to cues, they end up having an increase in activity. So what we see here is in response to an explicit video, and we see there's a very clear increase in activity in the reward centre. Absolutely great. Brilliant. And to my immense relief, mine wasn't. Like the healthy volunteers, my response to the porn was barely visible, whereas the porn users' brains were going ballistic. So it's a very very profound effect that porn's having on them. Yeah, it is a very profound effect. And the reaction that the porn user's having to porn there, they can't control that, can they? They can't affect the outcome? They can't affect the outcome? No, they can't. If people are saying that porn is addictive, and it's, like, 'Well, where's the proof?' The proof is the same parts of the brain are firing in the same way. That seems pretty compelling. Yeah, compulsive pornography users do have parallels with substance use disorders on several levels. The results are painting a pretty scary picture. It might be early days, but this research seems to show that porn can be addictive. If that's the case, and we allow our children free access to online porn, that's like leaving heroin lying around the house. So what does this mean for young men in the real world, like Calum? 'If porn has the potential to be like a drug, how does it affect his life? 'And can he even get a girlfriend?' So what about real girls? Like, you have a lot of sex with real girls, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. So what kind of sex do you have with these real girls? Depends on what they've got to offer. It's not as good as masturbating. It's not as good because they're not as good as the porn` obviously, the porn girls have done it a lot more, a lot more confident. Real girls don't have confidence. For Calum, porn is literally better than sex. And he's probably not alone. The brain of a 19-year-old is all about, 'Gimme, gimme, gimme, I want it, I find it pleasurable.' This is why 19-year-olds drive fast, they experiment with sex, they experiment with drugs. I mean, this is the time ` that sort of 14-year-old to 25-year-old range. The brain's reward centre ` the primal pleasure zone ` is fully developed by the time we're teenagers, but the part of the brain that regulates teenage urges ` the prefrontal cortex ` doesn't fully develop until our mid-20s. Until then, we're all accelerator, no brakes. What we're hoping during that time for a lot of young adults is that their prefrontal cortex is gradually kicking in and asking them, 'Should you want this? 'What are the repercussions of this choice? What are the long-term consequences of this behaviour?' But until` or if that doesn't kick in for some people as robustly as it should, they're all about drive state, they're all about wanting. All the science I've heard so far must apply to Calum, the 19-year-old lad I've been getting to know, yet he seems so mature and in control. I admire your guts to face up to what you're going through. But underneath all of that, you actually seem like quite a nice, ordinary guy. I try. Why do you think you've got this relationship with porn? Why do you think you've got this relationship with porn? Don't know. I really don't know. It's got worse and worse and worse as I've got older. I can't find a way to stop. I've tried getting rid of my smartphone, like, getting rid of easy ways to get on to porn, but then I'll just get an urge, and I'll go and I'll visualise it instead. Does that piss you off? Does that piss you off? Yeah, of course. You just get times where you sit there and think to yourself, 'Why have I just done what I've done? 'Why?' You get a high, and then you just get down straight afterwards. So you're always chasing the low away with the next high? So you're always chasing the low away with the next high? Mm-hm. Well, that sounds like a drug addiction to me. Well, that sounds like a drug addiction to me. Yeah, it is, virtually, because I can't` I can't stop it. We've been talking for about half an hour, when suddenly, I get a glimpse of the reality of Calum's compulsion. We drive past a girl in hot pants, and it triggers something. So what was it about her that set you off? Nice tight little shorts that show off everything that she's got. Right, so we've pulled into a pub. Right, so we've pulled into a pub. Mm-hm. Where you off to? Where you off to? Just gonna go to the toilet quickly. I'll just wait here, mate. I'll just wait here, mate. Yeah, that's fine. There he goes. He's going in for a wank. You all right, mate? You all right, mate? Yeah. Better? Better? Yeah. How do you feel now? How do you feel now? Pissed off. Why? Cos for that split second, I just feel like it's the best thing to do, and then as soon as I've finished, it's, like, 'Why the ... did I just do that?' This is the low. This is the low. Yeah. How long does the low last for? How long does the low last for? Usually about 10 to 15 minutes. There's so many questions running through my head ` 'Why've you done that? Wh`?' Stop for a minute and tell me why. Tell me what those questions are. 'Why did I need to do that? What's the point?' And just none of it makes sense; it just makes you feel so shit. But you couldn't control yourself. I mean, when we pulled up then, I mean, you more or less jogged over the car park. I mean, you more or less jogged over the car park. Mm. Between the car and the toilet, what went through your mind? Between the car and the toilet, what went through your mind? Just, like, that high, and just that split second of enjoyment. And it was the girl in the black hot pants? And it was the girl in the black hot pants? Mm. Yeah. I really really felt for Calum. Porn has clearly got a powerful grip on his life. Yeah, no matter what you think, he's pretty brave. It's not just Calum who is struggling, it seems. Porn is having a far-reaching effect on an entire generation. That's next. And I would go so far as to argue that pornography is actually sexually traumatising an entire generation of boys. Young boys are really getting their sexual cues from men who are acting as if they're sexual psychopaths. SOFT GUITAR MUSIC Sam felt fine spending $45 on perfectly good wine. And why wouldn't he, after they enjoyed the entire show together, right from the start, because he got to the station two minutes early, all thanks to saving valuable time paying Doug the lawn guy with his phone. Time really is money. To keep both running smoothly, talk to ANZ about switching banks today. Online porn may be having more effect than we know. Some believe young people are acting out the violent scenes they see online. One author who's watched more porn than probably most other academics is Professor Gail Dines. Again, a warning ` there are some strong sexual references in this part of the story. If I follow the breadcrumbs of an 11- or 12-year-old boy, no credit card, when he puts 'porn' into Google, what does he think he's gonna come up with? Probably pictures of breasts, maybe a naked woman. In reality, when he puts 'porn' into Google, he is catapulted into a world of sexual violence, sexual cruelty, body-punishing sex. He's not got a reservoir of his own experiences of sexuality with other people. He's probably never had sex with another human being. This is his first introduction to sex. And I would go so far as to argue that pornography is actually sexually traumatising an entire generation of boys. What about men being violent towards women during sex because of what they see? Does violent porn create violence towards women? When you interview young women and you hear about what's going on in sex, you're seeing an increased level of violence. So what young boys are getting their sexual cues from are from men who are acting as if they're sexual psychopaths. Making this programme has made it clear to me that porn is affecting teenagers' lives in a very real way. So what to do? Some say ban porn, but is a block even technically possible? I went to see a man who's just done an in-depth study of parental control software. But how does this software actually work? Usually, these things are a combination ` they'll look for certain keywords, sometimes they'll examine the images on a page, so if it sees a high degree of skin tones, it will say, 'Well, that's likely to be a nude person, 'so we'll block that site.' Problem with all of these filters is there's always holes in them, and it would take an army the size of China to actively sit there looking at every site that's uploaded, trying to judge whether it's suitable or not. There simply isn't a perfect filter. So are internet filters for children just pointless? I don't think they're pointless. I think they have a place. If a parent wants to use them as part of a set of methods to help control internet access, then I think they have some value. Clearly, parents have to get tech-savvy. It's not good enough any more to say, 'Oh, I just don't understand computers.' But we can't rely on filters. So could education be the answer? Jonny Hunt is a sex and relationship education worker with a difference. He actually talks about sex and relationships ` and porn. Just write them down from A-Z, and what I want you to do... Jonny talks frankly to kids about everything they've seen in porn and in real life, no matter how extreme. Erectile dysfunction? What's this one? But classes like this are the exception. Schools in Britain today are not obliged to teach anything more than the basic biology of sex and the dangers of having it. People wanna know how you have sex, what you do and where it goes and how to be good at it and what you should look like and all that kinda stuff. A lot of young people I speak to go and look at pornography because they're not getting what they want from school sex education, and, obviously, pornography's not necessarily the best place to have it, but at least it's opening conversations up. But if that's the only influence that young people are getting, then they're gonna get a very skewed version of what sex is. The thought that kids are going to hardcore porn for their sex education is horrifying. But there are now other places online that they can go. One council-funded website, which launched last year, offers a safe place for teenagers to ask any questions they have about sex. The website was set up by Amy Danahay and Etty Martin, and it was pilloried in the press for being too explicit. We've put pictures of genitals on our website, which made the headlines ` 'Local authorities putting pictures of genitalia on their website.' Absolutely. That was a decision that we made because we wanted to give young people the information but knowing that they were getting the correct information in a factual way and that we could help them to cope and to manage with what they were seeing out on the websites. Amy and Etty believe that if kids were taught properly about sex from an early age, there wouldn't be such a desperate need for forums like this. I think, as a society, we need to be far more open right from children being very young. You know, we all form relationships throughout our lives. We're all sexual beings from birth, and, therefore, we need to be talking about these things, so that when it comes to the stage where children may be accessing porn, it comes up as everyday conversation. But you can't teach 4-year-olds about sex, can you? We're not talking about teaching 4-year-olds sex. What we're talking about is feelings and emotions and also some of the very factual parts of our bodies. Yeah. Yeah. So you're saying that you'll teach a 4-year-old the word penis? Yes. It's very important that we all understand the correct terminology for genitals. I call it 'willy',... I call it 'willy',... Yeah. I call it 'willy',... Yeah. ...and that feels adventurous. Maybe you should go on a course, Martin. Maybe everybody should. Maybe that's the point. Maybe everybody should. Maybe that's the point. BOTH: Maybe parents should. Peel it. 'Sonny has just started primary school. 'If he could grow up with a comfortable understanding about the human body and healthy sex, 'then when he sees porn in a few years' time, which he will, he might be able to see it for what it is ` 'fake.' Faster. Faster. Faster! But what if you're sitting there watching this, and your child is starting secondary school? Well, like it or not, you're the first generation of parents who has to have the porn chat. You need to let them know that what gets passed around the playground is not normal. It's not what real sex is all about. Awkward parental chats may be a bit late for young men like Calum, but all is far from lost. Fortunately, since the teenage brain is still developing, it has an extraordinary ability to change. Paula Hall is one of the country's leading sex therapists. We arrange for Calum to see her for an initial consultation. So do you think you've got a high sex drive? Do you think it's because`? < Yeah. It must` That must be the reason. It must` That must be the reason. So you need to understand what's happening there to beat it. And what tends to work best is actually doing a group treatment programme. Mm. Calum is about to start on a two-day course of therapy with Paula, and I wish him the very best of luck. But his situation and the journey of making this film have changed my mind about pornography because porn has changed. My boy, Sonny, is growing up into a different world. I just feel like my kid's childhood has been taken away by porn. We live in the 21st century, the internet age, but sex education in schools, it's Victorian. It's ridiculous. I think I'm getting angry about it. We gotta take the power back by being proactive. We gotta start talking, cos nobody else will. By talking to our kids, we can keep them safe. It's gonna be shit, but we've gotta do it. And if we do it, they stand a chance. (BURPS) (BURPS) Oi! (BURPS) Oi! (LAUGHS) Well, up next, a change of gear ` Lynda Topp with the son she never expected to have. Did you think country music was cool? I did. I personally thought country music was really cool. Did everyone else around you? Did everyone else around you? I think everyone else had different opinions, but it didn't faze me at all, cos I was my own person. You know, I never thought I'd have kids, for a start, but I am a mum now. It's pretty exciting for me now that I get to actually sing with my son. SOFT GUITAR MUSIC Sam felt fine spending $45 on perfectly good wine. And why wouldn't he, after they enjoyed the entire show together, right from the start, because he got to the station two minutes early, all thanks to saving valuable time paying Doug the lawn guy with his phone. Time really is money. To keep both running smoothly, talk to ANZ about switching banks today. We asked you what you reckon we should work on at Z. Sometimes, like today, I just need to keep them moving as fast as I can. Well, I've got places to go, so more diesel lanes would be good. (SIGHS) I'd like to fill up no matter which side I park. We hear you, NZ. So we've got pay at pump,... UPBEAT MUSIC ...we've got diesel in more lanes... and super-long hoses. So come and see what you reckon now, as we help you Zip Thru Z. Hello again. They're a well-loved cultural institution, the Topp Twins, but tonight, we have an intimate insight into the life of Lynda Topp and meet the rising music star she's proud to call her son. Here's Libby Middlebrook with Lynda Topp, her wife and their youngest son, Cam Luxton. At that stage of my life, it was very hard, because I was just becoming a teenager. And, you know, people can be very cruel. They can be very, very cruel. GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC In a short 19 years of life, Cam Luxton has known all the heartache of a country love song. A small-town boy who watched his family disintegrate. I think in the beginning I was very blind, because I was so young. His mother in love with another woman, and not just any woman. Lynda being so well known, everyone knew about, um, you know, the Topp Twins. I think, you know, when you're a teenage kid growing up in the country and what have you and you've got two mums, you know, sometimes it probably was hard for him, you know. But he had an escape. I could just go and relax and chill out from everyone,... (PLAYS GENTLE TUNE) ...um, just... (CHUCKLES) my guitar and I. # You know a bad day of fishin' beats a good day of anything else. # Music that's helped to heal a relationship, and it's making him a star. There are times that I've seen him perform where he's just brought the house down. There's` Something has happened. Like, there's something magic. LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC Like all good country songs, this story has provincial roots. You cannot beat the South Island on a clear day. I've got the Southern Alps on my right. That's Mt Somers over there. And I'm heading towards a small village called Staveley. It's home to Cam Luxton, a young man who went his own way early in life. Did you think country music was cool? I did. I personally thought country music was very cool. Um... (CHUCKLES) < Did everyone else around you? < Did everyone else around you? Everyone else had different opinions. Everyone else found it, you know, a bit strange, you know, singing all those songs, but, you know, it didn't faze me at all, because I was my own person. Cam, you could have gone for pop music; you could have gone for rock music. What is it about country music that grabbed you? I think it's the, um` the story behind all the songs in country music. Country music goes right back to what the person was thinking at the time and they write it` write it down like a book. # As I walked down to... # Cam started competing around the age of 9 ` and winning. We would take him around to all the awards in the South Island. It was quite a family thing at the time. # Lookin' back... # But that family life he had known ` Mum, Dad and brother ` was about to unravel. Cam and his mum decided to organise a charity concert and invited the Topp Twins to be the headline act. So we read the letter, and it was really cute. He wanted us to be the special guests, raise money for heart kids and everything. Yeah, in the end, we said yes. < Did you have any idea... No. < ...where it was gonna lead? < ...where it was gonna lead? No way. God, no. (LAUGHS) Lynda Topp and Donna struck up a close friendship, which soon became more. You gotta to follow your heart and the more and more we spent together, the more we realised that we just fell in love. How did he take to you coming into his life as his mother's partner? Um, you know, at the beginning it was fine, but I think it, you know` it got harder for him. He never shied away from it. But he knew that if his mates were walking down the street and they'd see us, they might say something to him. He just didn't want his mates to give him a hard time. I was laying in bed most days going, 'I don't want to go to school.' Not that I didn't want to learn, but it was more the fact I was gonna get all these looks from people, and I knew what they were thinking. Well, I think it was really hard. I know that he used to cry himself to sleep some nights. Yeah. # Tennessee line # just changed my mind. He's still pretty young, but he sings really soulfully of heartache and love and loneliness. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think he's known those things? I would hate to say yes, but he probably has. Yep. # Tennessee line. # (STIFLES SOB) < Why does it upset you? Oh, I think it would upset any parent to` to know that their child was... (SOBS) going through heartache at such a young age. # And I be leaving for work soon. # 'Still, even now, if I feel upset I always, you know, turn to my music. I always turn to my guitar.' It's always been a base of` like a stone for me. GUITAR MUSIC Over the years, Cam and Lynda have had to work on their relationship. At the beginning, you know, I didn't not like her at all. Sometimes we didn't get along, you know. I wanted him to chop the firewood and he wanted to watch TV. And I'm old school. I'm an old` I was brought up in the country, you know. When things had to be done at home, you know, the cows had to be milked or things had to be done or wood had to be chopped or carted, you did it, you know. You didn't question Mum and Dad. You need your greens, buddy. 'Him and I get on pretty good now, you know.' 'She's a good person, you know. She's got a kind heart, you know.' In fact, they've become good mates, sharing a home in Staveley at Lynda and Donna's B & B lodge. He gives me a hard time, and I give him a hard time, and I think that's just` that's just nice. That's a mother-son thing almost, you know. So it feels really good. GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC It's quite peaceful, like, everything about it. You know, the river that runs through, like, separates the two sides of the road. The store, that's like the heart of the community. But there's always the odd outsider that comes in. So how do you treat them? So how do you treat them? The outsiders? Oh, we just leave them outside. Oh, we just leave them outside. < Right, OK. Oh, we just leave them outside. < Right, OK. It's why we call them outsiders. Right. I know where I'll be sleeping tonight. (LAUGHS) Right. I know where I'll be sleeping tonight. (LAUGHS) Yeah, exactly. Cam's training to be an electrician, but that's his plan B. # Just another way... # His dreams for the future are in music. This year he took home the prestigious Gold Guitar Supreme Award. It dates back to 1974 when Patsy Riggir won it. And all these stars are people that have won it, so there's 40 stars on it all the way around. And then my one will go here. And then my one will go here. What will it be like to have your name... Oh, I think` Oh, I think` ...on that guitar? Oh, I think` ...on that guitar? I'll be chuffed to see it done. I think, you know, Cam's, kind of` he's gonna take the long road, you know. That's important as a performer. If you're gonna be in the industry, you need to take the long road. # Rock me, mama, like the wind and the rain. # Rock me, mama, like a south-bound train. # 'I've got this passion for music now.' When I get up on stage or, you know, play at home or, you know, whatever happens to be at the time, I just... I just absolutely... Like, I'm in awe of it. # The smile on your face lets me know... Country music, it's always had a lot say about love ` the bad times and the good. 'I never thought I'd have kids, for a start. I never`' I've never been a mum in that` in the sense of having my own children. Um, but I am a mum now. It's pretty exciting for me now that I get to actually sing with my son. # And you say it best, # when you say noth` # when you say noth` Shh! LAUGHTER LAUGHTER # ...when you say nothing at all. # Yeah, I've heard Cam sing. He's a wonderful performer. He's been nominated for a top country music award. If he wins, he'll be off to perform in Nashville. He's also recording a self-funded album. If you'd like to know more, there's information on our website. Well, that's our show for tonight. Check us out on Facebook... and thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week. Nga mihi nui. Hei kona.