IT'S SEVEN SHARP. INSIDE A SKINHEAD'S HEAD BLACK PEOPLE ARE CRIMINALS, AND ASIANS ARE DESTROYING THE COUNTRY; JEWS ARE TRYING TO MAKE A NEW WORLD ORDER. SO WHAT MADE HIM CHANGE HIS MIND? HATE TAKES A LOT OF YOUR TIME UP. PLUS, WELCOME TO MED SCHOOL. SILLY MUSIC LAUGHTER MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST MEDICINE,... (LAUGHS) ...BUT IT SURE HELPS. THEY'RE GOOD. THE KIDS LOVE THEM. AND SOME ADVICE FOR NEW MPS... COME OUT TO THE PLAYGROUND WITH ME. ...FROM PEOPLE WHO REALLY KNOW ABOUT BEING NEW. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A FRIEND, IT WOULDN'T BE FUN. ONE NEWS CAPTIONS BY FAITH HAMBLYN AND JUNE YEOW. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2014 DUE TO THE LIVE NATURE OF SEVEN SHARP, WE APOLOGISE FOR THE LACK OF CAPTIONS FOR SOME ITEMS. We have the word panda on the autocue, and I have no idea why. The whole thing would Tian Tian of course, was that they thought she was pregnant. Did you know that fantasy to have 36 hours of sex a year to get pregnant? So, are you pregnant or just hungry? I just wanted to know about pandas today. Woman guffaws I am not bringing in the ultrasound tomorrow. HERE'S WHAT CAUGHT OUR EYE TODAY. AND HERE WE GO AGAIN. LABOUR'S LEADERSHIP'S AGAIN UP FOR GRABS IN THE WAKE OF THE PARTY'S WORST ELECTION DEFEAT IN 92 YEARS. DAVID CUNLIFFE SAYS HE'LL DO ALL HE CAN TO STAY ON AS LEADER. YOUNG PEOPLE APPEAR TO BE GIVING UP ON BUYING HOUSES ANY TIME SOON. NEW FIGURES SHOW THEY'RE RACKING UP DEBT ON CREDIT CARDS AND PERSONAL LOANS take that governmentBUT APPLYING FOR FEWER MORTGAGES BECAUSE BUYING A HOUSE SEEMS SO FAR OUT OF REACH. AND THIS HOTEL IN CANADA LOOKS PRETTY DESTROYED AFTER A FIRE, RIGHT? LOOK, THE WALLS FALL DOWN,... AND FROM THE RUBBLE EMERGES A CAT WHICH SURVIVED THE WHOLE ORDEAL! WE'RE FAIRLY SURE GETTING OUT OF THERE USED UP MORE THAN ONE OF ITS LIVES, THOUGH. WE ALL MAKE STUPID DECISIONS WHEN WE'RE YOUNG. WE HAVE HEARD JUST THIS WEEK OF POOR OLD TONI'S TESSALON TRACKIES AND CRITTER-FRINGE PERM, BUT FOR MOST OF US, THEY'RE NOTHING MORE THAN MEMORIES. What about your mistakes? You look a bit different now than what he used to. Don't raise that again. NOT FOR MARK WELLS. HE STILL CARRIES THE SYMBOLS OF HIS OLD LIFE, AND HE'S DETERMINED TO ERASE THEM, NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL THAT'LL BE. HERE'S JEHAN CASINADER. BLACK PEOPLE ARE CRIMINALS, AND ASIANS ARE TRYING TO DESTROY THE COUNTRY; JEWS ARE TRYING TO MAKE A NEW WORLD ORDER. INSIDE THE MIND OF A FORMER SKINHEAD. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO YOURSELF IF YOU COULD GO BACK? > I'D GIVE MYSELF A KICK IN THE ARSE. IT'S GONNA SMASH ALL THE INK DOWN INTO TINY GRAINS. BURNING AWAY THE SCARS OF HIS OLD LIFE. I DESERVE THE PAIN, THAT'S FOR SURE. SPENT 10 YEARS OF MY LIFE HATING PEOPLE FOR NO REASON. HATE TAKES A LOT OF YOUR TIME UP. HATE THAT WAS BUILT ON PRIDE. WHEN YOU'RE SAYING WHITE PRIDE, YOU ARE SAYING, 'I'M PROUD TO BE WHITE. I'M PROUD TO BE BETTER THAN YOU.' NOW MARK WELLS IS MARKED FOR LIFE. I REGRET ALL MY TATTOOS. I WISH I NEVER ACTUALLY STARTED GETTING TATTOOS, TO BE HONEST. AGGRESSIVE MUSIC MARK WAS 17 WHEN HE AND HIS MATES BOUGHT A TATTOO KIT. I SORT OF REALLY LIKED TATTOOS COS MY UNCLES ALL HAD THEM, AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE PRETTY COOL. HE TATTOOED HIMSELF AFTER A NIGHT ON THE TURPS. A LOT OF DRINKING. LOTS AND LOTS OF DRINKING. A LOT OF MARIJUANA TOO. AND A LOT OF HEAVY METAL. DEATH METAL MUSIC MARK'S MUSIC WAS A BIT OUT OF PLACE AT AOTEA COLLEGE. THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL WERE PACIFIC ISLAND AND MAORI, AND US WHITE BOYS GOT A LOT OF FLAK FOR THAT, SO WE HAD A LOT OF HATRED. MARK STARTED READING ABOUT NATIONALISM AND WATCHING SKINHEAD MOVIES... (SPEAKS GERMAN) NEIN! SO YOU WERE A HOLOCAUST DENIER? ABSOLUTELY. YES, I WAS. MARK BECAME A SKINHEAD. I TRULY BELIEVED THAT I WAS GONNA GROW UP AND BE HOMELESS BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE GONNA COME AND TAKE MY JOB. HE COULDN'T STOP GETTING INKED. THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HERE. THERE'S THE HITLER YOUTH MOTTO, THE CELTIC CROSS. AND A STATEMENT AGAINST JEWS. I THOUGHT I WAS AWESOME. MARK RECKONS HE WAS NEVER TRULY RACIST. I THINK IT WAS MORE A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING AND IGNORANCE. MY PARENTS WEREN'T RACIST. THEY'RE VERY ANTI IT. HE STARTED TO QUESTION HIS SKINHEAD MATES. I TURNED AROUND AND REALLY THOUGHT. ONE DAY, I WAS, LIKE, THESE GUYS ARE ALL <BLEEP> IDIOTS. THEY WERE JUST BAD PEOPLE THAT THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE ` THAT THEY WERE SUPERIOR. WALKING AWAY, HE RECKONS, WAS THE EASIEST THING HE'S EVER DONE. THEY'RE STUCK LIKE THAT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, I SUPPOSE, UNLESS THEY WANT TO CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE I DID. BUT MARK'S TIME AS A SKINHEAD LEFT MORE THAN MEMORIES. IT'S REALLY HARD TO MEET PEOPLE, YOU KNOW. I THINK VERY STRONGLY ABOUT GOING DOWN TO THE SWIMMING POOL OR, IF I GO DIVING, WHO'S AROUND WHEN I TAKE OFF MY WETSUIT. HE'S KEPT HIS TATS HIDDEN EVEN FROM THOSE CLOSE TO HIM. HALF MY FAMILY'S MAORI, YOU KNOW. ALL MY WORKMATES ARE PACIFIC ISLAND, AND I GET ON WITH THEM REALLY WELL. BOTH CHORTLE MARK'S WORKMATE SAMA NOTICED THE TATTOO ON HIS HAND. I JUST ASKED HIM, AND HE SAID, 'OH, YEAH,' THEN HE STARTED SHOWING ME ALL THESE NASTY TATS. I JUST LAUGHED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SEEM THE TYPE. THERE'S NO POINT HATING SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE... THEY'RE BROWN. MARK DECIDED HE WANTED THE TATS GONE FOR GOOD. I'D SAY THIS STUFF'S GONNA GO PRETTY QUICK. THE INK'S GONNA COME OUT IN YOUR LYMPH NODES AND YOUR URINE. HERE WE GO. IT'S A COSTLY PROCESS IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. IT'S BLISTERS, IT BURNS. THE HEALING PROCESS ISN'T THE NICEST. (EXHALES LOUDLY) HE'S TRYING TO MAKE A CHANGE FOR HIMSELF. KIND OF A BIG STEP. MARK ISN'T ALONE. IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE HOLDING YOUR HAND UNDER HOT WATER. TATTOO REMOVAL IS BECOMING BIG BUSINESS. A LOT OF HANDS, FACES, THROATS, NECKS. THESE GUYS DO THE FIRST SESSION FREE FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY. I BELIEVE A LEOPARD CAN CHANGE ITS SPOTS. WITH THIS, YOU TAKE THOSE SPOTS OFF AND YOU SEE A MASSIVE DIFFERENCE IN THEM. AND YOU CAN SEE THE BIG RED WELT APPEARING OVER THE NEXT FIVE WEEKS. IT'S GONNA FADE. HE'S HOPING FOR MORE THAN CLEAN SKIN. A NEW LIFE. A NEW LIFE? YEAH, A NEW LIFE. THAT'S A PRETTY BIG EXPECTATION. IT IS, BUT I THINK IT'S GONNA CHANGE ME. WHAT HE'S LEARNT FROM ALL THIS IS PRETTY SIMPLE. JUST LOVE EVERYBODY. (CHUCKLES) He's pretty brave to tell that story. I discovered something in Los Angeles that most of them are inked up. Like Beckham, everyone's going to see him when he's much older and he's going to look silly. The twentysomethings now, they'll regret it when they're older. There should be some sort of regulation. We had this argument about under 18's, didn't we? If you're under the influence or something you don't going get a tattoo COMING UP ON SEVEN SHARP ` WE'RE VERY NORMAL-LOOKING PEOPLE. VERY NORMAL-LOOKING PEOPLE. THAT'S GOOD. THEY MIGHT BE 'NORMAL', BUT WHAT THEY DO IS QUITE EXTRAORDINARY. IT'S CLOWNING AT ITS BEST, REALLY. COS SHE WAS JUST` THE SMILE ON HER FACE WAS JUST` SHE WAS SO HAPPY. GOING BEYOND THE EXTRA MILE WHEN IT COMES TO CUSTOMER SERVICE. I JUST GAVE HER MY CARD AND SAID, 'HERE, USE THIS.' HOSPITALS CAN BE A STRESSFUL ENVIRONMENT FOR PATIENTS, FAMILIES AND HEALTH PROFESSIONALS. FOR CHILDREN IT CAN BE EVEN HARDER. Sweetie asked if you get too much Otrivin, do you get holes in your nose? FOR FIVE YEARS A GROUP OF 'ALTERNATIVE' DOCTORS HAVE BEEN DOING THE ROUNDS OF OUR MAJOR CHILDREN'S WARDS. AS MIKE THORPE DISCOVERED, CLOWNING AROUND IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS. IN HOSPITAL IT SEEMS EVERYONE HAS A MASK, TO PREVENT THE SPREAD OF BUGS MOSTLY. LAUGHTER BUT IF LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE, THEN THIS MASK ` THE SMALLEST MASK ` HAS THE POWER TO HEAL. # HERE COMES ASHLEY. # SHE AIN'T GOT THE BLUES. # THESE CLOWN DOCTORS, WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH THEM? > THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD. THEY MAKE US SING A LOT AND DANCE WITH THE KIDS. BUT THEY'RE GOOD. THE KIDS LOVE THEM. IT'S REALLY NICE WHEN THE CHILD IS SORT OF A LITTLE BIT APPREHENSIVE OF YOU AND THEN YOU CAN SORT OF TURN THAT AND WARM UP TO THEM. THAT'S A NICE FEELING, I THINK. WATCH THIS ONE. CLOWN DOCTORS BETTY AND BLUE BOTTLE HAVE BEEN KEEPING THE CHRISTCHURCH CHILDREN'S WARD GIGGLING FOR YEARS. I LOVE IT. IT'S VERY FINE WORK, REALLY SENSITIVE WORK. IT'S CLOWNING AT ITS BEST, REALLY. IS IT STRESS RELIEF FOR YOU AS WELL? A LITTLE BIT. SOMETIMES IT'S STRESSFUL! (LAUGHS) I TRY NOT TO DISPLAY THAT TOO MUCH. (LAUGHS) < DO THEY TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY? HM... YOU KNOW WHAT IS SERIOUS? CLOWN MED SCHOOL. YEAH, IT'S A THING. OFTEN IN HOSPITALS IT'S NOT JUST THE KIDS THAT WE'RE DEALING WITH. WE'RE DEALING WITH THEIR PARENTS, THEIR FAMILIES, THEIR SIBLINGS WHO ARE UPTIGHT, ANGRY, TIRED, WORRIED. CUE LIGHT RELIEF. 'BENNY HILL' THEME SONG THE SECRET TO GOOD CLOWNING? NO INHIBITIONS. NO FEAR. IN MY CASE, NO TALENT. 'BENNY HILL' THEME SONG CONTINUES IT'S A VOLUNTARY SERVICE THOUGH, ISN'T IT? NO, IT'S NOT. OUR CLOWN DOCTORS ARE ALL PAID. < REALLY? MM-HM, THEY'RE ALL PAID. I HOPE I'M GETTING PAID FOR THIS! (LAUGHS) WE'LL START YOU ON OUR MINIMUM RATE. AS FAR AS CLOWNS GO, CLOWN DOCTORS ARE DELIBERATELY UNDERSTATED. OFTEN KIDS ARE SCARED OF BIG MAKE-UP AND WHITE FACES AND ORANGE HAIR AND VERY EXTREME RED MOUTHS, SO WE REALLY TRY TO KIND OF AVOID THAT. WE DON'T WEAR VERY MUCH MAKE-UP AT ALL. WE HAVE SLIGHTLY ECCENTRIC COSTUMES, BUT APART FROM THAT WE'RE VERY NORMAL-LOOKING PEOPLE. 'VERY NORMAL-LOOKING PEOPLE' ` THAT'S GOOD. I HAVE A NOSE AND A COLLEAGUE, BUT I'M A LONG WAY FROM DOING THE ROUNDS. DOES IT GO WRONG, BETTY? WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT OVER HERE? (LAUGHS) IT ALWAYS GOES WRONG FOR ME. I DON'T THINK IT'S EVER GONE RIGHT. HAVE YOU PICKED UP ANY TRICKS OF THEIRS TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH? > ACTUALLY, I'VE RIDDEN THE UNICYCLE DOWN THE HALL. YEAH. HAVE YOU? > YEAH. (LAUGHS) THAT'S PROBABLY AGAINST OSH REQUIREMENTS. > I THINK IT PROBABLY IS. # UP ABOVE THE WORLD SO HIGH. THESE LITTLE ONES ARE HERE BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE; THESE GUYS ARE HERE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE. YOU WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE FABULOUS LIKE BETTY, AND IT ALL GOES REALLY GOOD. AW, THAT'S NICE. THAT'S LOVELY, ISN'T IT? DOES SHE ALWAYS SPEAK THAT NICELY ABOUT YOU? NO. NEVER. (LAUGHS) MAYBE SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO. THE FACES SAY IT ALL. What is that fear of clowns? Don't spell it in my ear. But he wouldn't be scared of those types of clowns good people doing good work. NEXT ON SEVEN SHARP ` I JUST GAVE HER MY CARD AND SAID, 'HERE, USE THIS.' HOW A VERY GOOD DEED ALMOST WENT UNNOTICED. I ACTUALLY THOUGHT I'D GET IN TROUBLE FOR WHAT I HAD DONE. HE LOOKS COOL. BECAUSE HE'S GOT A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE. HE'S GOT A BIG SMILE? YEAH? WHAT DO YOU THINK, KAYLA? HE LOOKS FUN TO PLAY WITH. THEY'RE YEARS AWAY FROM VOTING, WHICH MAKES THEM THE BEST JUDGES OF PARLIAMENT'S NEW KIDS. GENTLE MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUES When someone in the house smokes, everyone gets a share. Second-hand smoke contains over 200 poisons. It can give your child asthma, chest infections and glue ear. Otrivin ` you can't take it for more than five days. It reverses the effect. Here is what's good about the fear of clowns ` it was invented in the 1980s. It's new and made up. It comes from Steven King's It. The term comes from the ancient Greek word that means stilt walker. The term looks like something pseudo-intellectuals will invent it's an urban myth. There is officially no fear of clowns tonight. WHAT DO YOU RECKON YOU KNOW ABOUT THE SUPERMARKET CHECKOUT OPERATOR? DO YOU TALK TO THEM? DO YOU DO MUCH MORE THAN SMILE OR SAY HI? YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM AT ALL, How would you talk to a supermarket operator when you don't talk to your colleagues? Because I don't like them. They want to know about your day. I asked them as well. I think you need to take a camera with you to the grocery AND THEY DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOU. WHICH IS WHAT MAKES THIS NEXT STORY ALL THE MORE REMARKABLE. IT'S ABOUT A YOUNG GIRL TRULY TAKING CUSTOMER SERVICE TO THE NEXT LEVEL. HERE'S EMMA KEELING. FAST DISCO MUSIC WHEN YOUR WEEKLY SHOP TURNS INTO A DISASTER, YOU ARE DESPERATE TO SEE A FRIENDLY FACE. I THINK IT'S INSPIRED A LOT OF PEOPLE TO, SORT OF, LOOK AT THEMSELVES AND MAYBE TRY AND EMULATE WHAT SHE'S DONE. AT PAK'N SAVE IN WHANGAREI, THAT FRIENDLY FACE IS REBECCA MCLEAN. SUCH A CARING AND GENEROUS ACT, AND I THINK THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS HER UP. LAST WEEK 18-YEAR-OLD REBECCA WAS AT HER USUAL SPOT ON CHECKOUT. HAD AN ELDERLY WOMAN COME THROUGH. SHE HAD ABOUT $50-SOMETHING WORTH OF ITEMS. AND HER CARD DECLINED THE FIRST TIME. SO SHE WANTED TO TAKE SOME THINGS OFF AND DO IT AGAIN. AND THEN IT DECLINED AGAIN. AND SHE WAS STARTING TO GET A BIT FLUSTERED AND SHOCKED COS SHE THOUGHT SHE DID HAVE THAT MONEY. I FELT SO SORRY FOR HER SO I JUST GAVE HER MY CAR AND SAID, 'HERE, USE THIS.' SHE GAVE ME A BIG HUG AT THE END AND SAID, 'THANK YOU SO MUCH AND BLESS YOU.' AND THEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS GONNA COME IN THE NEXT DAY AND PAY ME, BUT I TOLD HER NOT TO. I ACTUALLY, LIKE, GOT A BIT TEARY-EYED COS SHE WAS JUST` THE SMILE ON HER FACE WAS` SHE WAS SO HAPPY. HAVEN'T YOU JUST BOUGHT A NEW CAR? YES. YES. AND SO YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE ALL THIS SPARE CASH? NO, NOT REALLY. SO WHY DO IT? I DUNNO. THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT HER THAT I JUST REALLY... MY HEART WENT OUT TO HER. AND ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT WAS THE NECESSITIES. REBECCA'S GOOD DEED WAS SEEN BY THE EDITOR OF THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER WHO WROTE AN EDITORIAL. YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS, DID YOU? NO, I DIDN'T WANNA TELL ANYONE. I ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WOULD GET IN TROUBLE FOR WHAT I HAD DONE BECAUSE I WAS TECHNICALLY SERVING MYSELF. I DIDN'T WANT TO COME ACROSS AS BRAGGING ABOUT SOMETHING I HAD DONE GOOD, BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE HAD DONE? I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY GOOD FOR A YOUNG PERSON. REBECCA'S ONLY 18, AND OFTEN YOUNG PEOPLE AREN'T GIVEN THE CREDIT THEY'RE DUE. THE 18-YEAR-OLD'S GENEROSITY HAS GONE VIRAL, GETTING LOTS OF COMMENTS ON FACEBOOK. SO IS A GOOD TIME TO PUT A PLUG IN FOR A PAY RISE FOR REBECCA, IS IT? YEAH, I GUESS IT COULD BE. (LAUGHS) OH, YOU'RE ON THE SPOT NOW, GRANT. YOU'VE GOT ME THERE. SO WHEN REBECCA SAYS 'HAVE A NICE DAY', SHE REALLY MEANS IT. IT FEELS GOOD? YEAH, IT DOES. IT FEELS GOOD TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE AND PUT A SMILE ON THEIR FACE. Rebecca, you are so awesome. I went to the supermarket today and I actually veered to the lady I like at the supermarket. Even if it means I have to line up a bit more. ISN'T THE FIRST DAY OF ANYTHING A BIT OF A MAJOR? THINK BACK TO SCHOOL. 'WHERE DO I SIT? WILL I HAVE ANY FRIENDS? 'WHERE DO I PUT MY BAG?' ESPECIALLY IF YOU TURN UP IN A TESSALON TRACKSUIT WITH A CRITTER-FRINGE LIKE STREETIE. It is actually funny that you say this. Can you imagine what my first day was like on seven sharp with him? But I did, didn't I? WELL, TODAY, THAT'S PROBABLY HOW ALL OUR NEW MPS WERE FEELING. LET'S FACE IT ` THERE'S NO BIGGER PLAYGROUND THAN PARLIAMENT. AND THE BIG KIDS, WELL, THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAY NICELY. SO FOR SOME ADVICE TO THE NEWBIES, WE SENT TIM WILSON TO MEET SOME PEOPLE WHO REALLY KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ` 5-YEAR-OLDS. IT'S THE BIGGEST, BADDEST SCHOOLYARD IN THE LAND ` WHAT A LOT OF BULL<BLEEP>! LEFTIE, PINKO PIECE OF` < ORDER! WOULD HE LIKE TO TAKE HIS PILLS? PINKO PACIFIST. ORDER! A BEAR PIT OF MEAN GIRLS AND BOYS. YET HERE THE NEW KIDS COME, THE CLASS OF 2014, FOR A GREETING... AND A LECTURE. MEANWHILE, YOUR HUMBLE REPORTER RISKED LIFE AND LIMB TO FIND OUT WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE TO BE NEW. KAYLA! DAX! HECTOR! MCKENZIE! IT'S GOOD, AND I KNOW WHERE THEY TOILETS ARE COS MRS HUNT SHOWED ME. I WAS A BIT NERVOUS COS I ONLY PLAY WITH MY FRIENDS FROM KINDY. YOU TELL A TEACHER. OR YOU COULD JUST WALK AWAY. OR YOU COULD JUST WALK AWAY AND ANNOY THEM. ACT'S DAVID SEYMOUR. DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WILL LIKE HIM? ALL: YES. WHY? BECAUSE HE LOOKS COOL. BECAUSE HE'S GOT A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE. HE LOOKS FUN TO PLAY WITH. HE LOOKS FUN TO PLAY WITH? WHO'S THAT? WHO'S THIS? YEAH. THIS IS THE` JOHN KEY. JOHN KEY. DO YOU KNOW WHO JOHN KEY IS? YES! HE GOT TO WIN. DO YOU THINK, IF HE CAME TO SCHOOL, KIDS WOULD LIKE HIM? NO. SORT OF. Y-E-S! YES? NZ FIRST SECOND-TIMER RON MARK. DOES HE LOOK FUN, OR SCARY? SCARY! FUN! FUN. ALL: SCARY! THEN THE KIDS DECIDED TO TEACH ME A LESSON. I'M A REPORTER, DAMMIT! I'M A JOURNALIST! I'M A POLICEMAN! That's the best response all night. We couldn't tell the difference between you and David Seymour. He's 32. I'm obviously looking very good for my age. JUST FOLLOWING ON FROM THE INCREDIBLY KIND THING REBECCA FROM PAK'N SAVE WHANGAREI DID IN PAYING FOR A WOMAN'S GROCERIES. THERE'S ACTUALLY MORE. IT SEEMS WHANGAREI PAK'N SAVE COULD BE RUNNING FOR NZ'S NICEST SUPERMARKET. THIS AFTERNOON A WOMAN CALLED NICOLA RANG US TO SAY THAT SHE'D BEEN USING THE ATM INSIDE THE SUPERMARKET, GOT DISTRACTED AND SOMEHOW LOST THE MONEY THAT CAME OUT. ANYWAY, BY THIS STAGE SHE WAS PRETTY DISTRESSED. SHE LIVES 40KS OUT OF WHANGAREI AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. THE STORE MANAGER, DALE, SAW THIS UNFOLDING AND OFFERED HIS HELP. THEY WENT AND WATCHED THE SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE, BUT IT WAS INCONCLUSIVE. SO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID? THEY GAVE HER THE GROCERIES ON THE HOUSE, SAYING THEY'D SEEN HER IN THE SHOP LOTS BEFORE AND 'THAT'S WHAT TRUST IS ABOUT'. PRETTY COOL, EH? I AM THINKING TODAY, WATCHING EPISODE ONE OF WHAT UNDOUBTEDLY WILL BE LABOUR'S BLOOD-LETTING DRAMA, THAT DAVID CUNLIFFE HASN'T GOT THE OLD 'WRITING ON THE WALL' GENE. IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THE LABOUR LEADERSHIP IS VOTED ON, I WON'T BORE YOU, BUT IT'S AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF WHY THEY GOT THE RESULT THEY DID ON SATURDAY. IT'S A MESS; IT'S A COMMITTEE; EVERY MAN AND HIS DOG GETS A SAY. THE CRITICAL BIT IS THAT THE CAUCUS HATE CUNLIFFE. AND ALTHOUGH THE PARTY MEMBERSHIP AND UNIONS DON'T, THAT ULTIMATELY WON'T SOLVE HIS PROBLEM. IF YOU CAN'T COMMAND THE RESPECT OF YOUR COLLEAGUES IN PARLIAMENT, YOU'RE TOAST. AND IF YOU CAN'T SEE YOU'RE TOAST, THEN THEY WILL MAKE YOUR EVENTUAL DEMISE A MISERY. AND THAT MISERY WILL BE A DAILY DRAMA, INVOLVING LEAKS, BLOOD-LETTING, BACK-STABBING AND BARELY CONCEALED FURY. LABOUR ARE FAMOUS FOR THIS. SO BUCKLE UP; TODAY WAS THE FIRST CHAPTER IN THE STORY ENTITLED 'THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF DAVID CUNLIFFE'. CAPTIONS BY GLENNA CASALME AND JESSICA BOELL. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR.