IT'S SEVEN SHARP. TONIGHT ` BRIDAL BOOT CAMP. SO, BASICALLY, YOU BULLIED ALL THE YOUNGER BROTHERS AND SISTERS INTO THIS? MIGHT'VE BEEN A LITTLE BIT OF THAT. (LAUGHS) WHY THIS WOMAN WANTS HER WEDDING PARTY TO BE FULL OF LOSERS. WHEN KAT ASKED ME, I SAID,'OK I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU. YOU OWE ME BIG TIME.' PLUS ` REMEMBER JACK? MY HAPPY PLACE. (LAUGHS) I WOULDN'T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY. WELL, HIS DEVOTION HAS FINALLY PAID OFF. GIVE YOURSELF A MARK OUT OF 10. I'D GO AN EIGHT. EIGHT OUT OF 10? EIGHT OUT OF 10. COME ON, SMILE. BOTH LAUGH AND ` # DEAR DIARY, # TODAY I SAW THAT BOY. # YOU'LL NEVER GUESS HOW THIS HIT STARTED. BRITNEY, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SINGING 'DIARRHOEA', AND, TO BE HONEST, IF YOU SING 'DIARRHOEA', IT'S GONNA SOUND LIKE <BLEEP>. ONE NEWS CAPTIONS BY GLENNA CASALME AND JOHN LING. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2014 DUE TO THE LIVE NATURE OF SEVEN SHARP, WE APOLOGISE FOR THE LACK OF CAPTIONS FOR SOME ITEMS. OUR SINGING COACH LOOKED A BIT AND INTENSE THERE. MIKE IS NOT HERE AGAIN. THIS IS WHY. WHEN YOU ONLY EAT KALE AND YOU HAVE LOADS OF PILLS AND VITAMIN C and come back to work too early, this is what happens. What about this business with the AC/DC drama. We get some international headlines. To be fair, he is not completely clean yet. HERE'S WHAT BEEN HAPPENING TODAY ` THINGS HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE BETTER FOR AC/DC DRUMMER PHIL RUDD. A CHARGE OF ATTEMPTING TO PROCURE THE MURDER OF TWO PEOPLE HAS BEEN DROPPED. BUT HE STILL FACES CHARGES OF THREATENING TO KILL AND DRUGS POSSESSION. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT HALLOWEEN WAS OVER, THINK AGAIN. SWISS SCIENTISTS HAVE CREATED ARTIFICIAL GHOSTS TO INVESTIGATE WHY SOME PEOPLE FEEL A 'CREEPY PRESENCE'. TURNS OUT IT'S JUST DOWN TO A TRICK OF THE BRAIN. AND HERE'S PROOF SOMETIMES CHEMISTRY IS CONFINED TO THE CAMERAS. NEWS ANCHOR DAN THORN'S HAVING A GREAT TIME GROOVING AWAY TO TAYLOR SWIFT'S 'SHAKE IT OFF'. HIS CO-HOST, WELL, NOT IMPRESSED. Is that what it is like between Mike and I? Not at all. IF YOU'RE FRANTICALLY TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR SUMMER, SPARE A THOUGHT FOR ALL THE BRIDES OUT THERE TRYING TO GET IN SHAPE FOR THEIR BIG DAYS. BUT CONSIDER THIS ` WHAT IF THE BRIDE ASKED YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT? AND THEN PROCEEDED TO SEND YOU TO BRIDAL BOOT CAMP? ONE FAMILY IN MORRINSVILLE HAS HAPPILY SIGNED UP TO THE CHALLENGE IN AN EFFORT TO WIN A $70,000 WEDDING FOR THEIR ELDEST DAUGHTER. EMMA KEELING WENT TO SEE IF THEY WERE ALL STILL TALKING TO EACH OTHER. METUA AND KATRINA ARE GETTING MARRIED, AND IT'S GONNA TO BE BIG. SO, YOU'RE THE ELDEST OF HOW MANY? SEVEN. WHEW. BUT IT COULD BE EVEN BIGGER IF THEY ALL LOSE WEIGHT. SO, BASICALLY, YOU BULLIED ALL THE YOUNGER BROTHER AND SISTERS INTO THIS? MIGHT'VE BEEN A LITTLE BIT OF THAT. THE MUM OF THREE ENTERED HER WEDDING PARTY IN A BRIDAL BOOT CAMP COMPETITION, AND THEY'VE SAID YES FOR ONE REASON ` KATRINA. SHE'S DONE SO MUCH FOR THE FAMILY AND FOR ME, FOR MANY YEARS NOW, SO I THINK I OWE HER THAT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I'D LIKE TO BE THE WINNER JUST FOR HER, JUST TO SEE HER FACE ON OUR WEDDING DAY IF WE DO WIN IT. WHAT I'VE DONE IS I'VE DONE FIVE BRIDESMAIDS, WHICH ARE MY SISTERS, AND THEN I'VE GOT THREE FRIENDSMAIDS, AND THEY ARE MY GOOD FRIENDS. AND THEN WE'VE GOT THE BOYS MATCH UP TO MY SISTERS, AND THEN THREE FRIENDSMAIDS, THEY'RE GONNA COME DOWN THE AISLE WITH MY BROTHER. NOT EVERYONE WAS THRILLED AT FIRST. WAH! LAUGHTER WAS IT SHEER WEIGHT OF NUMBERS THAT FORCED YOU TO SAY YES TO THIS? IT ACTUALLY WAS. I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. AND IF SHE WINS, THAT'S 70 GRAND DON'T HAVE TO COME UP WITH. LAUGHTER NOW, THERE'S A POINT. (LAUGHS) YUP $70,000 WORTH OF ALL SORTS WILL BE PROVIDED FOR A VALENTINES DAY WEDDING. SO, YOU'VE GOT YOUR WORK AND NUTRITION, WHICH I'M IN NOW. BUT TO WIN, YOU MUST COMPLETE A 13-WEEK PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND WORKOUT PROGRAMME. HAS IT SURPRISED YOU HOW GOOD THEY'VE BEEN SO FAR? THEY ARE ALL REALLY SUPPORTIVE, AND THAT'S SORT OF, LIKE, FAMILY IN PARTICULAR, I KNEW THEY'D BE SUPPORTIVE. LIKE, I KNEW MIGHT HAVE TO DRAG DAD IN. LOVE COULD BE THE KEY TO THE WIN, ACCORDING TO TYRONE BELL, THE MUSCLE BEHIND THE TRAINING AND NUTRITION PROGRAMME. DO YOU THINK IT'S EASIER FOR SOMEBODY TO BE MOTIVATED BECAUSE THEY'RE DOING IT FOR SOMEBODY ELSE? OH, IT CAN BE, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY. YOU KNOW, WHEN IT'S JUST ON YOUR OWN, IF YOU FALL OFF, YOU'RE ONLY LETTING YOURSELF DOWN, BUT NOW YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE HERE THAT HAVE ACTUALLY COMMITTED TO HELP THAT BRIDAL PARTY OUT, THAT COUPLE THAT ARE GETTING MARRIED, AND SO, YEAH, THAT'S A MOTIVATOR TOO. IT'S NOT JUST JUDGED ON WEIGHT LOSS. UP AND DOWN THE COUNTRY, ENTRANTS GO ONLINE EVERY DAY TO COMPLETE TASKS. YOU CHECK ALL THE PARTICIPATION, HOW THEY'VE BEEN, AND IT'S GONNA BE A LITTLE HEART-WRENCHING TO CULL REST OUT AND IT'S GONNA BE A LITTLE HEART-WRENCHING TO CULL THE REST OUT AND JUST PUSH THE 10 FORWARD FOR THE NEXT PART OF THE JUDGING PROCESS. DO YOU GET TO GO TO WEDDING? OH, I'M HOPING SO. IT DEPENDS HOW MUCH THEY HATE ME AT THE END. BACK AT A GYM IN MORRINSVILLE, KATRINA IS FOCUSED. SHE'D ALREADY LOST 25 KILOS BEFORE THE COMPETITION STARTED. I'M DEFINITELY NOT WHERE I WOULD LIKE TO BE. I'M PROUD OF MYSELF FOR WHERE I'VE COME, BUT I ALSO AM EXCITED TO SEE WHAT CAN ACHIEVE IN THIS TIME, SO I'VE GOT JUST AS MUCH CHANCE AS ANYBODY. ANYONE CAN WIN. FIRST YOU NEED TO MAKE THE TOP 10, THEN IT'S DOWN TO A POPULARITY VOTE. 100%, WE'RE GONNA SMASH IT. WE'RE GONNA SMASH IT! DAD WOULD ALSO LIKE TO UNCOVER HIS SIX PACK. THE TARRANT CLAN ARE DETERMINED; EVEN SISTER JO. WHEN KAT ASKED ME I WAS, LIKE, 'OK, I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU. 'YOU OWE ME BIG TIME,' BUT I'M ACTUALLY REALLY LOVING IT. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT CALIBRE OF CONTESTANTS OUT THERE, BUT I'M DEFINITELY CONFIDENT IN OUR FAMILY, AND, YEAH, I'M PUMPED TO WIN IT. OOH, IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD COMPETITION. MILA'S MAKING SURE DAD METUA KEEPS UP THE GOOD WORK. THIS WILL BE A TOUGH TEAM TO BEAT. BEING HEALTHY IS ABOUT HAVING A BIT OF FUN AND ENJOYING LIFE, AND THAT'S WHAT OUR FAMILY'S ALL ABOUT. ANYONE THAT KNOWS US... (LAUGHS) DOESN'T MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL WEDDING IS, IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD TIME. IT WILL BE GOOD TIME. I CAN GUARANTEE THAT. (LAUGHS) They look cool. I like them. They are going to eat at the wedding. I had really tiny bridesmaids at the wedding. I told them they could put on weight. DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT FOR YOUR WEDDING? I tried to, but I think I have been slimmer since. Did you? I did. COMING UP ON SEVEN SHARP ` I THINK IT'S A MARVELLOUS ACHIEVEMENT FOR A YOUNG 84-YEAR-OLD IN A RETIREMENT VILLAGE. YUP, SO DO WE, JACK. SO, WHAT'S NEXT ON THE AGENDA, THEN? JACK'S NEXT PROJECT MIGHT BE A FULL-SCALE JUMBO JET. BECAUSE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE? ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. THEY GO INTO ME CRUMPETS, AND WHEN I TOASTED THEM, I TOOK THEM OUT AND HAD A FEW BITES AND THEN REALISED THAT THEY WERE IN THE HOLES. AH YUP, GREAT STORY THERE, MATE. WE ALL MIGHT BE A BIT CONFUSED, BUT APPARENTLY WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT HAS PROBABLY HAPPENED TO US TOO! Nice work. Who knows why they are doing this. Is there a prize? Keep going, Graham. THERE IS CONSTERNATION AMONG RESIDENTS IN A HAMILTON RETIREMENT VILLAGE. THEY ARE VERY CONCERNED THAT SOMETHING VERY BIG COULD BE ABOUT TO ARRIVE AT THEIR VILLAGE, AND, WELL, IT COULD ALL BE OUR FAULT. YOU SEE, ALL WE'VE DONE IS ENCOURAGE THE MAN WHO COULD BE BEHIND IT ALL. REMEMBER JACK? HE'S BUILDING A PLANE` WELL, BUILT ONE, ACTUALLY, AND NOW IT'S FINISHED, HE COULD BE EYEING UP A NEW PROJECT. MICHAEL HOLLAND PAID JACK ANOTHER VISIT. OUR FIRST MEETING WAS A PLEASURE. YOU COULD BE TAKING LIFE EASY. I COULD, BUT THIS IS EASY FOR ME. OLD-FASHIONED PERSEVERANCE, PURPOSE... IT GIVES ME A GOOD REASON TO GET UP IN THE MORNING. ...AND PAINSTAKING DEVOTION. THIS IS YOUR HAPPY PLACE, JACK. MY HAPPY PLACE. BOTH LAUGH I WOULDN'T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY. THREE MONTHS ON, WE COULDN'T RESIST. WE'VE HEARD A WHISPER JACK'S AS GOOD AS DONE. CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU. LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY. FINISHED. GIVE YOURSELF A MARK OUT OF 10. I WOULD GO AN EIGHT. EIGHT OUT OF 10? EIGHT OUT OF 10. THAT'S NOT BAD. NOT BAD. COME ON, SMILE. BOTH LAUGH JACK'S REPLICA 1914 BRISTOL SCOUT HAS BEEN LOVINGLY CRAFTED IN THE RESIDENT'S WORKSHOP AT THE ALANDALE RETIREMENT VILLAGE IN HAMILTON. SIMPLE. A LOT OF PIECES, BUT STRAIGHTFORWARD. NOTHING MYSTERIOUS ABOUT IT. I THINK IT'S A MARVELLOUS ACHIEVEMENT FOR A YOUNG 84-YEAR-OLD IN A RETIREMENT VILLAGE. I DON'T THINK THERE WOULD BE TOO MANY UNDERTAKING THIS ACTIVITY AROUND NZ. I KNOW YOU ARE NOT ONE TO BEAT YOUR CHEST, BUT, TELL ME, YOU'RE PROUD. COME ON. YEAH, I AM PLEASED WITH IT. NO, I SAID TELL ME YOU ARE PROUD. (CHUCKLES) YEAH, NO, IT WAS A GOOD PROJECT. OK, I WILL SAY IT. 'JACK IS PROUD.' BOTH LAUGH BECAUSE YOU ARE AREN'T, YOU? YEAH, I AM PROUD OF MY ACHIEVEMENTS. ROCK MUSIC BUT GIVE HIM ANOTHER BREATH, AND, JACK BEING JACK, HE'S QUICKLY SHARING THE SPOTLIGHT WITH HIS FRIENDS AND NEIGHBOURS. ALL THESE GOOD PEOPLE HAVE HELPED ME IN SOME WAY. HAD SOME OF THEM DOING THE VARNISHING WORK, YOUNG LASS OVER THERE. YOUNG LASS. (CHUCKLES) HOW OLD IS THE YOUNG LASS? ABOUT THE SAME AGE I AM. (LAUGHS) IT WAS JUST A PRIVILEGE TO TAKE PART IN IT. JOHN OVER HERE. WHICH ONE IS JOHN? JOHN WITH THE STICK. AND HE DID THE`? A LOT OF THE PAINTING. WE ARE NOT OLD AND DECREPIT. NO, WE'RE NOT. ALL LAUGH WE DO EXERCISES. WE KEEP OURSELVES BUSY. COME ON. LET'S SEE SOME EXERCISE, THEN. BOTH: HEEL, TOE. HEEL, TOE. TWO TO THE RIGHT. I THINK THEY ARE TRYING TO STEAL YOUR THUNDER. SOME OF THE RESIDENTS ARE A BIT WORRIED THAT JACK'S NEXT PROJECT MIGHT BE A FULL-SCALE JUMBO JET. (LAUGHS) IF JACK TAKES IT ON, HE WILL ACHIEVE IT. WHICH MAKES WHAT I ASKED OF JACK DURING OUR FIRST VISIT, YOU MIGHT REMEMBER, MODEST INDEED. WHEN WE COME BACK TO SEE IT COMPLETED, I WANT TO SEE THIS. 'JACK'S HAPPY PLACE' OVER THE DOOR. NEXT TIME YOU COME BACK. THAT'S A DEAL? OK, THAT'S A DEAL. WHERE'S THE SIGN YOU WERE GOING TO BRING ME? DID I SAY I WAS GOING TO BRING YOU A SIGN? YOU KNOW, AFTER THE PROGRAMME, SOMEONE SENT YOU A SIGN ENGRAVED WITH THAT ON. DID YOU DREAM THAT UP? NO. MALCOLM FROM WHANGANUI HAS JUST THE THING FOR YOU, JACK. HE'S MADE YOU THIS BEAUTIFUL SIGN. IS THIS THE SIGN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT? THAT'S THE ONE. (LAUGHS) THAT'S THE ONE. YOU KNEW WE WOULDN'T HAVE FORGOTTEN IT. BOTH LAUGH IT WILL BE CENTRED. I WANT IT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. YOU CAN HAVE IT IN THE MIDDLE. I'M GOING TO MEASURE IT. WORKING OUT, JACK? YEAH, I THINK WE ARE RIGHT. FOREVER IT WILL BE KNOWN AS JACK'S HAPPY PLACE. YEAH. GO DOWN IN HISTORY. BOTH LAUGH Good to see that Michael Holland wasn't going any further than he needed to with the sign (!) NOW, YOU WILL HAVE NOTICED SOME OF THE RIBS ON THE WINGS AND TAIL WERE STILL EXPOSED. THAT'S SO PEOPLE WHO KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING, LIKE US, GET AN APPRECIATION OF THE CRAFTSMANSHIP THAT WAS REQUIRED TO MAKE THOSE EARLIEST OF WAR PLANES. AND JACK'S BABY WILL BE THE CENTREPIECE OF BIG ARMISTICE COMMEMORATIONS AT LAKE KARAPIRO TOMORROW AND SUNDAY, SO GET ALONG AND TELL HAPPY JACK JUST HOW CLEVER HE IS. We have come up with a plan what we will do with the ad break competition about the cameramen with the fancy a shot. We are going to give a prize for as long as you want which is a drive in Mike's Ferrari. I think I am the only one who has sat in his Ferrari so far, and I was too scared to touch anything. NEXT ON SEVEN SHARP ` WELL, IT TURNS OUT TIM ACTUALLY DOES WANT TO WRITE A LOVE SONG. # I'VE GOT 1000 REASONS TO LOVE YOU; # ONE FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO. # PLUS, EVERYONE'S PRETTY SURE THEY HAVEN'T,... No. ...BUT WE BEG TO DIFFER. You know how Toni was telling us earlier, you were going for a ride in the Ferrari with Mike. I just sat in it. We didn't go for a drive. He just revved the engine. WE'VE BEEN HIDING A BIT OF A SECRET HERE AT SEVEN SHARP, BECAUSE WE THINK WE HAVE THE NEXT BIG SINGING SENSATION AMONG US. AND WE'RE SO CONFIDENT IN TIM WILSON'S TALENT THAT WE ENLISTED SOMEONE PRETTY POWERFUL TO HELP FOSTER HIS ABILITIES. WE'VE PAIRED HIM UP WITH JASON BLUME. YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD OF BRITNEY SPEARS OR THE BACKSTREET BOYS. WELL, HE WROTE SONGS FOR THEM. HIS SONGS HAVE BEEN ON ALBUMS THAT HAVE SOLD MORE THAN 50 MILLION COPIES, SO HE WAS THE PERFECT PERSON TO HELP TIM WRITE A LOVE SONG FOR HIS EXPECTING WIFE. APART FROM HERSELF, THE BEST GIFT MY WIFE RACHEL MADE AT OUR WEDDING WAS THIS SONG. # COS THE HEART HAS ITS REASONS, # THAT REASON CANNOT UNDERSTAND... # THAT NUMBER IS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN DYING TO REPLY TO, WHICH SEEMED LIKE A GOOD EXCUSE TO INTERVIEW THIS GUY. JASON BLUME HAS WRITTEN WITH BRITNEY SPEARS. # MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME. # HE'S WRITTEN WITH THE BACKSTREET BOYS. # ...ROCK YOUR BODY! YEAH. # HE'S SO WELL VERSED HE'S WRITTEN BOOKS ON SONGWRITING. # I'LL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU. # NZ HAS A SPECIAL PLACE HIS HEART, BECAUSE WE GAVE HIM HIS FIRST NUMBER ONE. IT WAS NUMBER ONE ONLY IN NZ. NUMBER TWO IN AUSTRALIA, NUMBER ONE VIDEO IN THE US. THAT SONG LED TO AN APPROACH FROM HIS PUBLISHER. WE'VE JUST SIGNED THIS 15-YEAR-OLD KID. YOU KNOW, WE'RE GONNA BE HONEST, SHE'S NOT A GREAT SINGER, AND HER NAME'S BRITNEY SPEARS. # DEAR DIARY,... # WHICH IS HOW HE CAME TO WRITE AND RECORD THIS SONG WITH BRITNEY SPEARS. I'M LISTENING, AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HEAR ` 'DEAR DIARRHOEA'. COS SHE'S GOT THAT BREATHY THING. BRITNEY, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SINGING DIARRHOEA. AND TO BE HONEST, IF YOU SING DIARRHOEA IT'S GONNA SOUND LIKE <BLEEP>. AN OVERNIGHT SUCCESS, BUT IT TOOK HIM 16 YEARS ON THE MEANSTREETS OF LA TO GET THERE. I LIVED IN ONE ROOM. NO KITCHEN. NO BATHROOM. AND WHEN I GOT REALLY TO THE POINT WHEN I WAS SO HUNGRY AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANY FOOD, I WENT OUT AND I BOUGHT CATFOOD. YOU ATE CATFOOD? I ATE CATFOOD. I REALLY DID. (COUGHS) I'M SORRY, I HAVE A FURBALL. KIDDING. THOSE EXPERIENCES FILL HIS SONGS AND HIS TEACHING, BUT THEY'RE HIDDEN. I TELL PEOPLE IN MY CLASSES, 'DON'T WRITE ABOUT YOUR LIFE. 'NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR LIFE. WRITE ABOUT MY LIFE.' SO WE SAT DOWN, AND I PLAYED HIM RACHEL'S SONG. HE ASKED ME WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY WIFE. HER SENSE OF HUMOUR IS WICKED, BUT HER SOUL IS SAINTLY. MM, THAT'S FABULOUS. WE RIFFED SOME LYRICS. YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A PRINCE EVEN WHEN I LOOK LIKE A TROLL. 'WE TRIED A BIT HARDER.' WHAT YOU'RE EXPERIENCING NOW IS A BIT LIKE WRITING WITH BRITNEY OR SOMETHING? YES, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE IN THE ROOM, YEAH. WHEN I WROTE WITH HER, THERE WERE TWO PEOPLE IN THE ROOM. WE TRIED AND WE TRIED. FINALLY. # I'VE GOT 1000 REASONS TO LOVE YOU; # ONE FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO. # BUT I DON'T NEED A THOUSAND REASONS; # ALL I NEED IS YOU. # ALL I NEED IS YOU. # OH, ALL I NEED IS YOU. # Oh! I didn't know that was going to be that emotional. I knew that Tim was totally in love with his wife, but... Were you not taken with that? Barry, husband, do not sing to me. My husband proposed to me in a poem. HALLOWEEN MAY BE OVER FOR ANOTHER YEAR, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE DONE TRYING TO FREAK YOU OUT HERE AT SEVEN SHARP. IF YOU'RE NOT THAT FOND OF SPIDERS, THEN THIS NEXT STORY COULD SCARE YOU A BIT. PUMPING MUSIC NO. NO. (LAUGHS) NO. TERRIFIED OF SPIDERS. NO, I HAVE NOT. MAYBE. I'VE DRUNK A SPIDER. NO. YES. IT'S A DRINK THAT WE USED TO HAVE. I'VE EATEN ANTS. I WOULDN'T CHOOSE TO. THEY GOT INTO ME CRUMPETS, AND WHEN I TOASTED THEM, I TOOK THEM OUT AND HAD A FEW BITES AND THEN REALISED THAT THEY WERE IN THE HOLES. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT THE AVERAGE ADULT EATS EIGHT IN A LIFETIME. SHE'S CLOSE. YUM. (GROANS) REALLY? (LAUGHS) THAT IS HORRIBLE. OH. (LAUGHS) YEAH, I BELIEVE YOU. IT'S THAT FURRY FEELING AT THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT WHEN YOU WAKE UP, ISN'T IT? WHAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT, WE DON'T WORRY ABOUT. WOW. THE LESSON IS DON'T GO TO SLEEP. I have eaten a spider. You ate rat when you were in Africa. That was deliberate. I'VE GOT A WEE BIT OF A CHALLENGE FOR THOSE OF US, ME INCLUDED, WHO SUFFER A LITTLE FROM THE OLD ROAD RAGE. UNTIL ABOUT A WEEK AGO, NOTHING IRRITATED ME MORE THAN THE SLOW DRIVER. AND, LET'S BE HONEST, THEY'RE OFTEN TOURISTS. THEN I BECAME A TOURIST. I TRIED DRIVING IN AMERICA LAST WEEK. I DROVE FOR AN HOUR, AND EVERY MINUTE WAS HONESTLY EXCRUCIATING. I COULDN'T STAY IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LANE. I ALMOST HIT THE CURB A FEW TIMES. I NEARLY DROVE INTO THE BACK OF A CAR. THERE MIGHT'VE BEEN A DITCH. AND EVERY TURN FREAKED ME OUT BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH LANE TO GO INTO. SO I DROVE SLOWLY, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD BE SURE I WOULDN'T KILL ANYONE. SO IF YOU SEE A SLOW DRIVER, DON'T GET ANGRY. THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST TRYING NOT TO KILL SOMEONE. I have learnt a lot about you tonight, and I am slightly scared. A WORD OF WARNING TONIGHT ` WE'VE TALKED ABOUT HOW FUNDRAISING AND CHARITY PAGES ARE EVERYWHERE THESE DAYS. ANYONE CAN SET THEM UP AND ASK FOR HELP. WE SAW THE SUCCESS WHEN OUR WEE MATE CHARLIE GOT HIS NEW LEGS. BUT TURNS OUT SOME OF THOSE NEEDING HELP AREN'T GENUINE. A MOTHER OF SIX HAS JUST BEEN CAUGHT OUT AFTER SHE PRETENDED TO HAVE TERMINAL OVARIAN CANCER. HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE DONATED THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO PAY FOR HER TREATMENTS. A TOTAL STRANGER HEARD ABOUT HER PLIGHT AND SET UP A FACEBOOK PAGE TO GATHER FUNDS. ANOTHER ORGANISED A BIG, SWANKY FUNDRAISING DINNER CHARGING $150 A HEAD. THIS SCAMMER WAS GOOD. SHE SHAVED OFF HER HAIR, POSTED UPDATES ABOUT HER TREATMENT. TURNS OUT SHE WAS A TOTAL FRAUD, AND EVEN HER BEST MATES DIDN'T REALISE. I'D HATE TO THINK THIS WOULD SCARE OFF PEOPLE FROM HELPING THOSE WHO GENUINELY NEED IT, BUT PERHAPS JUST DO A BIT OF RESEARCH NEXT TIME BEFORE OPENING YOUR WALLET. MAKE SURE IT'S LEGIT. YOU HAVE A LOVELY WEEKEND. WE'LL SEE YOU MONDAY. CAPTIONS BY VIRGINIA PHILP AND ASHLEE SCHOLEFIELD. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2014