IT'S SEVEN SHARP. TONIGHT ` THE ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM. IF YOU DON'T MAKE SOME CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE, YOU AREN'T GONNA BE AROUND TO SEE 32. HOW JAMIE'S AHA MOMENT IS BENEFITING HIS WHOLE COMMUNITY. THERE IS SATISFACTION FOR US AND OUR FAMILY JUST SEEING THIS BEING USED BY SO MUCH OF THE COMMUNITY. PLUS ` 138-ODD KM AN HOUR BY THIS TIGHT SECTION. WE MAY HAVE FINALLY BROKEN MATT CHISHOLM. (LAUGHS) AND ` BOTH: # IT'S A LONG, LONG JOURNEY... # LISTEN UP, MILEY ` THE SEEKERS HAVE SOME WISE WORDS FOR YOU. THOSE OTHER THINGS ARE GIMMICKS. IN OUR DAY, ALL WE EVER DID WAS STAND UP AND SING. 6PM CAPTIONS BY VIRGINIA PHILP AND ALANA CRUIKSHANK. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2014 DUE TO THE LIVE NATURE OF SEVEN SHARP, WE APOLOGISE FOR THE LACK OF CAPTIONS FOR SOME ITEMS. Welcome to 7 sharp on Friday. My Nan I used to take me to Ballantynes in Christchurch. The amazing thing about the music awards was LordE went up six times and said something different every time. Everyone is nice, there's no big egos. STAN WALKER, JAMIE MCDOWEL, BROODS. HERE'S WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING TODAY. THE FORMER MALAYSIAN DIPLOMAT FACING A SEX ASSAULT CHARGE HAS APPEARED IN COURT TODAY. HE PLEADED NOT GUILTY. IF YOU'RE SINGLE, YOUR DNA COULD BE TO BLAME ` BEIJING RESEARCHERS BELIEVE SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN WITH A SINGLETON GENE AND THOSE WHO CARRY IT ARE 20% MORE LIKELY TO BE UNLUCKY IN LOVE. AND THIS MAN WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR HIS BEST FRIEND, WHO WAS BEING STRANGLED TO DEATH BY A PYTHON ` THE OWNER STARTED BEATING THE SNAKE WITH A STICK UNTIL IT RELEASED THE DOG. LET'S TALK ABOUT GOALS AND WEIGHT LOSS. THE BLOKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO MEET IS ONE FOR THE BOOKS ` HE LOST 70 KGS, 7-0. NOW, AFTER YOU'RE DONE, YOU'D BE TEMPTED TO STOP AND PUT YOUR FEET UP, BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE FOR JAMIE DOWNES. NOPE, NOW HE'S REACHED HIS WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL, HE'S ON A MISSION TO INSPIRE OTHERS. AND WITH THE HELP OF HIS FAMILY, HE'S GOT THE PEOPLE OF TAUMARUNUI ON A MISSION TO LOSE WEIGHT. GILL HIGGINS HIT THEIR GYM AND FOUND THE RIGHT ATTITUDE CAN AFFECT A WHOLE TOWN. THEY WANTED EVERYONE ` NO LIMIT ON AGE OR SIZE. IT IS WORKING ` YOU KNOW, IT IS WORKING. SO WHAT'S THE SECRET? HOW DO YOU GET SUCH A MIX OF PEOPLE BUYING INTO A WORKOUT? YOU COULD SAY IT ALL BEGAN WITH SHOES A BIT LIKE THESE. ALL I COULD SEE WAS THOSE AIR JORDANS I PAID SO MUCH MONEY FOR AND I COULDN'T TIE UP THE LACES. I HIT 30, AND MY COUSIN TOOK PHOTO OF ME, AND HONESTLY, I LOOK LIKE A JAFFA. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU GOT TO THAT WEIGHT? IT WAS DEPRESSION. PARTLY BECAUSE HE WAS LOSING HIS SIGHT, NEEDING A CORNEAL TRANSPLANT. MY PHONE USED TO BE LIKE THIS. MY GLASSES ` THICK AS A JAM JAR. BUT THE CHANCE OF SURGERY CAME, THE DOCTOR PLACING ONE CONDITION. HE SAID, 'YOU'VE GOT SIX MONTHS NOW TO GO AND LOSE SOME WEIGHT.' AT 174 KILOS AND AFTER EVERY DIET GOING, HE FELT LOST. BUT HE CAME ACROSS THE PAMPHLET OF HIS CLOSEST UNCLE, OVERWEIGHT AND DEAD AT 42. IT WAS LIKE SAYING IF YOU DON'T MAKE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE, YOU AREN'T GONNA BE ROUND TO SEE 32. FOR ME, IT WAS LIKE A LIGHT-SWITCH MOMENT. HE BEGAN THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF HIS LIFE. I PUT MY WHOLE JOURNEY OUT THERE ON FACEBOOK, RIGHT AT THE START, TO BE ACCOUNTABLE. IT'S PROVED A POPULAR SITE. AT THE MOMENT I CAN POST VIDEOS THAT GET 10,000 TO 15,000 VIEWS. HELPS THEY'RE WATCHING. AND IT INSPIRES THE ONES WHO WATCH. I WAS SHOCKED AS. WHEN SAW HIM, HE WAS BIG LIKE ME, AND THOUGHT, 'IF HE CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT.' I'M TRYING TO GET TO UNDER 100KG. IF I GET THERE I'LL FEEL GREAT. CAN'T WAIT. FAMILY TOO ` THIS FEISTY BOXER IS JAMIE'S MUM. HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST? 19 K'S. DIDN'T THINK EVER LIKE BEING IN GYM, BUT LOVE IT. AND IT'S NOT JUST A GYM ` THEY USE THIS CENTRE TO TEACH WELL-BEING, HOW TO LOOK GOOD, COOKING. DO YOU THINK EVERY TOWN SHOULD HAVE ONE OF THESE? DEFINITELY. DEFINITELY. AND THERE ARE A LOT TOWNS WANT IT NOW. ONE OF THE BIGGEST SUCCESSES IS A CLUB CALLED SHREDATHON. AROHA'S ONE OF 500 WHO'VE JOINED. IT'S ABOUT SETTING GOALS. THE ONE THING I USED TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT IS GETTING ON PLANE AND ASKING FOR EXTENSION. I WANT TO FIT THE BELT THAT'S ALREADY PROVIDED. THEY WORK OUT SIMPLE WAYS TO MAKE THE GOALS HAPPEN. POWER WALKING TO THE RESOURCE ROOM OR CUPBOARD, TO THE KOHANGA, KITCHEN. WHAT JAMIE'S FAMILY IS DOING DOESN'T STOP THERE ` HIS DAD LEFT HIS JOB IN THE MEATWORKS TO BUY A FAMILY BUSINESS. THE FIRST THING HAD WAS WEST END DAIRY. THEY ADDED OTHERS. IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK. ENDING UP BUYING ANOTHER DAIRY AFTER THAT, A RADIO STATION, AN AMUSEMENT CENTRE FOR THE KIDS ROUND THE TOWN. THIS GARAGE, WHERE HE WORKS WITH HIS SONS, AND THEY USED TO OWN THIS CAFE. MY DAD SAID, 'YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE A DOCTOR, A LAWYER ` LET'S JUST PUT YOU IN BUSINESS. ALL ADULT CHILDREN NEVER BEEN ON BENEFIT, NEVER KNOWN WHAT DOLE IS. IT WAS ONLY FOR MY FAMILY, BUT IN LAST COUPLE YEARS BECOME EVIDENT. WHAT WE'RE DOING CAN CERTAINLY HELP OTHERS. AND THEY KNEW, LIKE JAMIE, A LOT OF YOUNG PEOPLE NEEDED HELP, SO THEY SET UP THE GYM. IT USED TO BE THIS ` A HANGOUT FOR HEAVY DRINKERS. A LOT DESTRUCTION IN TOWN OUT OF THAT PUBLIC BAR. I'VE HAD TOO MANY BROTHERS DIE FROM ALCOHOL-RELATED BINGES. NOW THE STRONGEST STUFF THEY SERVE UP IS... THIS. LOOKS SO APPETISING, EH? THE CENTRE'S GOING FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH, BUT THEY'VE GOT MORE PLANS TO CREATE MORE JOBS TO GIVE PEOPLE MORE PRIDE. IT'S ABOUT OUR COMMUNITY OF TAUMARUNUI. That is so wonderful. Isn't that inspirational? He managed to use 50 of 70 kg in six months. Once you start, you wouldn't want to go back. COMING UP ON SEVEN SHARP ` RIGHT, SHOULD I BE PUT OFF AT ALL THAT YOU'RE CALLED MAD MIKE? OH, NAH, MELLOW MIKE. (LAUGHS) AH, MELLOW HE IS NOT. MATT, I THINK YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID, VERY AFRAID. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, MUM, YOU'VE GOT MY HOUSE. PLUS ` WHICH ONE ARE YOU? A MONKEY? GOTTA BE A CHIMPANZEE. ORANG-UTAN? OH, THE GORILLA. NO, MONKEY. ONE OF THOSE THINGS. THEY'RE THE SAME. WHY DO WE ASK? FIND OUT SOON ON SEVEN SHARP. OUR MOST ADVENTUROUS TEAM MEMBER IS PROBABLY MATT CHISHOLM. HE DIDN'T START OUT THAT WAY, BUT ITS BEEN FUN, AS THE YEAR HAS GONE ON, TO TRY AND KILL HIM. THERE HAVE BEEN SHARKS AND CAVES AND WOMEN'S PRISONS, AND WHO CAN FORGET HIS TRIP TO THE FERTILITY CLINIC? HE'S LIKE A WEEBLE ` HE MIGHT WOBBLE, BUT HE DOESN'T FALL DOWN. THIS NEXT ATTEMPT MIGHT TIP THE BALANCE, THOUGH. THE DRIFT SHIFTERS COMPETITION, WHICH IS HITTING AUCKLAND NEXT MONTH, WITH HOTTED-UP CARS GOING VERY VERY FAST, SLIDING AS CLOSE TO INANIMATE OBSTACLES AS THEY CAN. MATT WAS A WEE BIT RELUCTANT, BUT WHEN DOES HE EVER GET A SAY? SO OFF HE WENT TO MEET DRIFT DRIVER MAD MIKE WHIDDETT. THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST FUN YOU CAN HAVE ON FOUR WHEELS. IT'S OVER 230KM/H. CAR ZOOMS IT'S HIGH-SPEED PRECISION DRIVING AT THOSE SORT OF SPEEDS ON DANGEROUS ROADS AND OBSTACLES. IT DEFINITELY GETS THE ADRENALIN GOING. AND AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT, I WAS GOING WITH THEM. LET'S GET YOU IN THE SEAT. RIGHT. SHOULD I BE PUT OFF AT ALL THAT YOU'RE CALLED MAD MIKE? OH, NAH. MELLOW MIKE. BOTH LAUGH HMM. WE'D SOON SEE ABOUT THAT. WE'LL BE COMING THROUGH, STARTING AT THE OTHER END. 130-ODD KM/H BY THIS TIGHT SECTION WHERE THE VIPS ARE GONNA BE, RIGHT DOWN TO THE FAR END AND BACK, AND HOPEFULLY MAKE IT BACK IN TIME IN A MINUTE FOR THE FINISH. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, MUM, YOU'VE GOT MY HOUSE. ENGINE REVS THIS IS GONNA BE DANGEROUS, BUT YOU'RE SAFE WITH SOMEONE NAMED MAD MIKE. I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH. (LAUGHS) AND HE WAS RIGHT. TO ME, IT COMES AS NATURAL INSTINCT. THE CAR IS LIKE AN EXTENSION OF MY BODY. INSIDE THE ROLL CAGE... THERE'S A LOT OF GEAR-CHANGING, A LOT OF CLUTCH-KICKING. THE VIEW FORM OUT... IT LOOKS KIND OF LIKE BALLET MOTORSPORTS ` VERY SMOOTH AND FLUID AND LOOKS KIND OF SLOW MOTION. AND DESPITE THE AIM OF THE DRIFTING GAME, MY FEAR'S PUT TO BED WITHIN SECONDS. AS MAD MIKE WHIDDETT TURNS HIS PURPOSE-BUILT RX-7 ON A DIME. I'M ALWAYS TRYING TO PUSH THE EDGE, YOU KNOW? WE'RE JUDGED ON OUR LINE, ON OUR SPEED AND OUR ANGLE. SO WE'RE TRYING TO BE FASTER THAN THE REST OF THE COMPETITION. WE WANT MORE ANGLE THAN THE COMPETITION. WE WANNA BE CLOSER TO THOSE CLIPPING POINTS. THE CLOSER TO THE OBSTACLES THE BETTER? THAT'S RIGHT. IF YOU'RE SCRAPING, YOU'RE WINNING. (LAUGHS) AND THAT COUNTER-INTUITIVE APPROACH CREATES A LOT OF BURNING RUBBER AND A HEAP OF SMOKE. DO YOU HAVE AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH BEAUREPAIRES? (LAUGHS) WELL, IN ONE WEEK WE PROBABLY GO THROUGH MORE TYRES THAN MOST PEOPLE WOULD IN A LIFETIME. OUT ARDMORE AIRPORT 'DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME' HOT LAP USED 20 LITRES OF FUEL AND $1000 OF TYRES AND WAS ALL OVER IN JUST 60 SECONDS. THAT WAS AWESOME! (LAUGHS) SO, MIKE, I'M NOT A BIG SPEED DEMON, BUT THAT WOULD HAVE TO BE ONE OF THE COOLEST THINGS I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. OH, NICE. SO, YOU CAN IMAGINE` THAT'S WITH CONES. SO, IF YOU CAN PICTURE THAT ON QUAY ST, WHICH HAS A SMOOTHER SURFACE, CAR'S GONNA BE EVEN FASTER, AND ALL THESE CONES ARE ALL GONNA BE TRUCKS AND CONCRETE WALLS AND SPECTATORS AND TREES. # OH, BABY, MY RIDE'S SO CLEAN. # I RIDE SO DIRTY... # YEP, WITH THE HELP OF HIS EMPLOYER, RED BULL, MAD MIKE'S DREAM OF TRANSFORMING DOWNTOWN AUCKLAND INTO A GIANT PINBALL-INSPIRED DRIFT TRACK WILL FLY FOR A SECOND TIME IN DECEMBER. IT'S A HUGE DEAL. IT'S THE FIRST EVER EVENT OF ITS TYPE THAT'S FULL ELECTRONICALLY SCORED. THERE'S NO POLITICS, THERE'S NO NATURAL HUMAN ERROR, AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT'S VERY EASY FOR THE CROWD TO FOLLOW. YOU CAN SEE REAL TIME THE SCORES GOING UP ON THE SCREEN, THE CROWD CAN GET INTO IT, THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON. THAT'S A HIGH-OCTANE BATTLE INVOLVING 16 OF THE WORLD'S BEST DRIFT DRIVERS. YOUR IDEA, YOUR EVENT. YOU'LL BE A SHOE-IN, WON'T YOU? YEAH, WELL, IN THE FIRST ONE I ACTUALLY DIDN'T WANNA WIN IT COS IT'D BE, LIKE, 'OH, MAD MIKE CREATES THIS EVENT 'AND WINS HIS OWN EVENT. SO I WAS, KIND OF, NOT TRYING TO WIN.' AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T WIN, WILL MUM STILL BE PROUD OF YOU? OH, SHE'LL BE PROUD, YOU KNOW? LIKE, I'VE NEVER MET MY FATHER, AND MUM'S NEVER REALLY SAID NO TO ANYTHING. I'VE BEEN BROUGHT UP ON A LIMITED BUDGET, BUT I'VE ALWAYS JUST MANAGED TO HAVE FUN. SO TO BE ABLE TO TRAVEL THE WORLD, DO THIS FOR A JOB AND HAVE MY OWN EVENT, RED BULL DRIFT SHIFTERS, IS TOTALLY SURREAL. That is my kind of thing. 130Ks is skilful, but not fast. I've done that thing where you do the driving course where they left the car up and you have extra wheels. They emulate whoat is like to be on shingle or ice and have no control. DETAILS OF THE RED BULL DRIFT SHIFTERS EVENT ARE ON OUR FACEBOOK. NEXT ON SEVEN SHARP ` WELL, WHAT DO WE THINK OF, # YOU CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL #? IS IT A GOOD SONG? I HAVE NO IDEA. I'VE NEVER HEARD IT. (LAUGHS) THE SEEKERS TELL HEATHER AND MILEY WHAT THEY REALLY THINK. AND GOOD LUCK TO THE KIDS THAT GET A BREAK, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY OF THEM YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IN 50 YEARS' TIME, WITHOUT BEING STUPID ABOUT IT. WELL, AT LEAST WE ALL KNOW. THAT GIVES YOU AN IDEA, DOESN'T IT? BUT THIS IS NZ. YEAH, WE'RE NOT IN AUSTRALIA. (LAUGHS) YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT WE ASKED THIS LOT TO GET THAT RESPONSE. REMEMBER THE SEEKERS? THEY'RE UP THERE WITH THE ROLLING STONES AS ONE OF THE LONGEST SURVIVING BANDS, AND THEY HAPPEN TO BE IN THE COUNTRY AT THE MOMENT. HOWEVER, WE WERE A LITTLE SURPRISED WHEN THEIR PROMOTERS CALLED AND TOLD US THE SEEKERS' TOUR HERE HAS SOLD MORE TICKETS THAN MILEY CYRUS WHEN SHE VISITED. SO WE THOUGHT, GIVEN IT'S BECOME A COMPETITION, WE SHOULD SEE WHAT THEY THINK OF HER, AND, BOY, WERE THEY HONEST! THEY SPOKE TO HEATHER. # TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING MAKES A SLEEPY NOISE. # UNDERNEATH THEIR BLANKETS GO ALL THE GIRLS AND BOYS. # OH, DON'T BE FOOLED BY THEIR GENTLE INOFFENSIVE MUSIC ` THE SEEKERS GOT SOME ATTITUDE. LISTEN UP, MILEY. SO, WHAT A PITY FOR ALL THESE MILEY CYRUS' AND EVERYTHING THAT THEY THINK THEY HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS WHEN MAYBE THEIR TALENT COULD STAND ALONE, AND THEIR SONGS, MAYBE, COULD STAND ALONE. WHO WILL EVER KNOW? WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS CARRY-ON, MILEY. # I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL. # SHAMEFUL. THOSE OTHER THINGS ARE GIMMICKS. YOU KNOW, LIKE, IN OUR DAY, ALL WE EVER DID WAS STAND UP AND SING, # THERE'S A NEW WORLD SOMEWHERE... # AND YOU WERE SIMPLY JUDGED ON THAT AND THE SONG. AND GOOD LUCK TO THE KIDS THAT GET A BREAK, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY OF THEM YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IN 50 YEARS TIME ` WITHOUT BEING STUPID ABOUT IT. DO YOU THINK WE'LL HEAR ABOUT MILEY CYRUS IN 50 YEARS? (SIGHS) I GUESS THE HONEST ANSWER TO THAT... AH, NO. YES, MILEY, YOU COULD DO WORSE THAN TAKE ADVICE FROM THIS LOT. THEY HAVE MADE THE 50-YEAR MARK. BACK IN THE DAY, WITH ALL THEIR HITS, THEY WERE BIGGER THAN THE BEATLES. JUST LOOK AT THE CROWD IN NEW PLYMOUTH IN '68. AND THEY SET AN AUDIENCE RECORD THERE THAT STOOD FOR FOUR DECADES. AND THEY'RE CHARMING. LISTEN TO HOW MUCH THEY LOVE US. WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY IS THAT THE NZ VEGETABLES TASTE THE BEST ANYWHERE. THEY ARE FABULOUS. WE'RE NOT LEAVING ANYTHING OUT TODAY. WE LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT NZ. HONEY ` MANUKA HONEY ` THE WINE, THE HONEY, THE MILK, THE PEOPLE, THE MUSIC, ...POHUTUKAWA TREES, THE WEATHER. OOPS, NO. NOW, SEEKERS FANS OUT THERE, YOU'LL PROBABLY KNOW JUDITH HAD A BIT OF A HEALTH SCARE WITH A BRAIN HAEMORRHAGE LAST YEAR. DID YOU KNOW SHE EVEN FORGOT HOW TO WRITE? I WANTED TO REMIND MYSELF TO ASK SOMEBODY TO GET ME SOME SOYA MILK BECAUSE I DON'T DRINK NORMAL MILK, AND I COULDN'T THINK HOW TO WRITE THE WORD, AND IT TOOK ME, LIKE, HALF AN HOUR TO WRITE THE WORD S-O-Y. FUNNILY ENOUGH, JUDITH HAD NO SUCH TROUBLE REMEMBERING THE OLD SONGS, AND, CHANCES ARE, NEITHER DO YOU. EVEN 50 YEARS ON. TAKE THAT, MILEY. I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYONE PAY A COMPLIMENT LIKE THAT. I INTERVIEWED KEITH RICHARDS. WHAT A NICE GUY! A LOVELY CHAT. A HIGHLIGHT. NOW, IF YOU'RE A BELIEVER IN EVOLUTION, YOU'LL BE FAMILIAR WITH THE THEORY THAT WE HUMANS MAY HAVE STARTED OUT AS APE-LIKE CREATURES. BUT IT TURNS OUT WE ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH A DIFFERENT, MUCH CUTER ANIMAL. IT'S TIME TO SHARPEN UP, PEOPLE. IT'S GOTTA BE A CHIMPANZEE. ORANG-UTAN? MONKEY. CHIMPANZEES. APES. CHIMPANZEE OR SOMETHING. IT'S GOTTA BE, LIKE, A CHIMPANZEE OR SOMETHING, I'D IMAGINE. A MONKEY,... (LAUGHS) I THINK. GOTTA BE A CHIMPANZEE. CHIMPANZEE. OH, THE GORILLA. NO, MONKEY. ONE OF THOSE TWO. THEY'RE THE SAME. A KOALA? WHAT?! HUH? I DIDN'T EVEN REALISE THEY HAD FINGERPRINTS. EH? THOSE THINGS FROM AUSTRALIA? BUT THIS IS NZ. BUT THIS IS NZ. (LAUGHS) THAT'S GOOD. AMAZING. OK... LET'S GET GOING. Jeez. I don't know what I would do if someone asked me a random question on the street. FORGET THE MAN DROUGHT ` APPARENTLY THERE'S A MATE DROUGHT. AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT A SURVEY DONE BY TRAVEL COMPANY INTREPID IS CLAIMING. A THIRD OF US, IT SAYS, WOULD LIKE A MORE MATES, BECAUSE WHILE MOST OF US HAVE ONE TO THREE CLOSE FRIENDS, WE THINK THE IDEAL NUMBER IS FOUR TO SIX. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU'RE COUNTING HOW MANY MATES YOU HAVE TO SEE HOW FULL YOUR LIFE IS, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. SOME OF THE CHEESY CLICHES YOU READ ON FACEBOOK OR WHEREVER ACTUALLY RING TRUE HERE ` IT'S ABOUT QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY. IF YOU'VE GOT LOTS OF MATES, GREAT, BUT IF YOU JUST HAVE TWO OR THREE WONDERFUL FRIENDS, YOU'RE LUCKY. LIFE IS NOT A SORORITY HOUSE OR A POPULARLY CONTEST. IF YOU WANT MORE MATES, THEN START BY BEING A FRIEND AND FORGET ABOUT COUNTING THEM. AND JUST BEFORE WE GO FOR THE WEEKEND, THIS ` EARLIER ON THIS WEEK, WHEN WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE BAND AID SONG, I MIGHT HAVE ` MIGHT HAVE ` ALLUDED TO THE FACT THAT ONE DIRECTION, WHO IN THIS PARTICULAR VERSION START THE SONG, MIGHT BE ` JUST MIGHT BE ` A TAD SHORT IN THE OLD TALENT DEPARTMENT. NOW, THIS CAUSED SOME FEEDBACK. IN FACT, SOME OF THE OFFICE SUGGESTED IT WAS AN AVALANCHE OF FEEDBACK. I GOT GRIEF AT HOME FROM THE CHILD WHOSE WARDROBE DOORS ARE FESTOONED WITH 1D POSTERS. AND I GOT THIS. AND THIS WAS TYPICAL 1D CORRESPONDENCE. AND HERE'S WHAT IT SAYS ` 'I THOUGHT THAT YOU <BLEEP>WADS WERE ALL RIGHT UNTIL YOU TRASHED 1D. 'I HOPE SOMEONE SLIPS CYANIDE INTO YOUR $14,938 COCKTAIL. 'ONE DIRECTION SOUND LIKE EVERY PURE GOOD FORCE IN THE WORLD, 'WHEREAS YOU SOUND LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON TRYING TO TAKE A <BLEEP> 'AFTER EATING ROTTEN <BLEEP> MCDONALDS. ALL YOU <BLEEP>HOLES DO 'IS SIT AROUND WITH YOUR HEADS UP YOUR SPOILED <BLEEP>. GROW UP, '<BLEEP>, AND LEARN THAT THERE ARE GOING TO BE PEOPLE THAT ARE WAYYYYYY THAT'S SIX 'Y'S, BY THE WAY ` 'WAYYYYYY BETTER THAN YOU, 'AND ONE DIRECTION ARE DEFINITELY SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE. 'IN FACT, THE WHOLE POPULATION OF THE EARTH IS ONE TRILLION, '9000 BILLION, 500 MILLION, 763 TIMES BETTER THAN YOU. 'SO STOP JUDGING PEOPLE, YOU <BLEEP>WIPE. 'YOU PROBABLY THINK I'M A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL, BUT SURPRISE ` 'I'M 20. 'I HOPE YOU READ THIS AND PUT IT ON YOUR CRAPPY SHOW AND LAUGH.' (LAUGHS) SEE? I AM. 'BUT I KNOW YOU WILL GO HOME AND CRY ABOUT IT 'LIKE THE <BLEEP> DIRTY BABY YOU ARE. 'I HOPE YOU AND ALL YOUR CO-WORKERS AND CREW EAT A HUGE <BLEEP>, 'AIRHEAD.' SO JUST ANOTHER MAILBAG IN ANOTHER WEEK FOR SEVEN SHARP. YOU HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND, AND WE WILL SEE YOU MONDAY. CAPTIONS BY FAITH HAMBLYN AND IMOGEN STAINES. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2014