Messages that aren't getting through. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CHECK? UM, NO, I HAVEN'T. NO. (LAUGHS) NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN FOR ONE. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPOT A KILLER,... SHOWED US A SORT OF RED SPOT ON THE BACK OF HIS CALF THAT KIND OF LOOKED LIKE A PIMPLE. ...EVEN ONE IN DISGUISE? PLUS ` WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE COMING HOME TO THIS? WE HAVE A VERY BAD CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY. AND ` ALL CHANT FIERCELY IN MAORI A SPECIAL HONOUR FOR ONE SPECIAL GIRL. THERE'S NO FOUNDATION IN NZ. NO SUPPORT GROUPS. ONE NEWS CAPTIONS BY IMOGEN STAINES AND SARAH MAIAVA. DUE TO THE LIVE NATURE OF SEVEN SHARP, WE APOLOGISE FOR THE LACK OF CAPTIONS FOR SOME ITEMS. Don't you love a short week? I feel I have so much more to give this week. I haven't expended energy yesterday. What a treat of an Easter weekend. This is what I did which is so much better than what you did. Pippa left town and encountered traffic and vomiting children. I was being sensible. Four hours to drive a two hour trip. It was worth it. I was somewhere beautiful at the end. I was at my place. No traffic worries at all. START CHECKING OUT THOSE TICKET PRICES ACROSS THE DITCH. THE KIWI DOLLAR DIDN'T QUITE MAKE PARITY WITH ITS AUSSIE COUSIN TODAY, BUT IT'S SO CLOSE. THAT'S GOOD NEWS FOR SHOPPERS, BUT NOT SO GOOD NEWS FOR EXPORTERS. STEP AWAY FROM THE FIZZY DRINK, EVEN IF IT'S 'DIET'. TEXAN RESEARCHERS HAVE FOUND THAT DAILY CONSUMPTION OF DIET DRINKS CONTRIBUTE TO SIGNIFICANT WEIGHT GAIN OVER TIME. AND IS SHE THE COOLEST FIRST LADY EVER? MICHELLE OBAMA NOT CONTENT WITH HER 'MOM DANCING' TAKING OVER LATE NIGHT TV, TOOK IT ON STAGE AT THE OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE EASTER EGG ROLL, SHOWING THE CAST FROM 'SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE' HOW TO MOVE LIKE A MOM. She can dance but also she's enjoying herself. LET US BEGIN TONIGHT WITH MEDICAL MATTERS ` MEDICAL MATTERS THAT TOUCH TOO MANY OF US, IN SUCH A PREVENTABLE KIND OF WAY. IT'S A POTENTIALLY FATAL DISEASE. AND IT HAS HIT HOME FOR THE YOUNG FAMILY IN WELLINGTON. ISAAC YOUNG (9) FOUND OUT HE HAD SOMETHING WHICH KILLS ALMOST AS MANY PEOPLE AS THE ROAD TOLL. GILL HIGGINS WITH THE MESSAGE THAT JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO GET THROUGH. SOMBRE MUSIC WE ALL KNOW THE SUN HERE IS HARSH AND RELENTLESS. WE UNDERSTAND ITS PIERCING RAYS CAN KILL. BUT IT'S AN EMPTY THREAT WE TAKE FAR TOO LIGHTLY, UNLIKE THE YOUNG FAMILY. THEY HAD A CLOSE BRUSH WITH DEATH. IT WASN'T GRANDPA, THOUGH. NOT EVEN DAD, BUT ISAAC, STRUCK BY MELANOMA AT JUST 9 YEARS OLD. IT WAS RANDOM. IT WAS A BIT LIKE I'D NEVER SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. SHOWED US A SORT OF RED SPOT ON THE BACK OF HIS CALF THAT KIND OF LOOKED LIKE A PIMPLE, ALMOST. THE GP THOUGHT IT WAS A BLOOD BLISTER. HE TRIED VARIOUS CREAMS, THEN... MUM: HE JUST SAID WE SHOULD SHAVE IT OFF. SO, AT THAT POINT THEY STILL DIDN'T THINK IT WAS MELANOMA? NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. SENT IT OFF TO GET CHECKED, JUST AS A MATTER OF COURSE. BUT MELANOMA IT WAS, AND SURGERY WAS NOW URGENT. SCANS, OPERATIONS AND A SKIN GRAFT LATER, HE WAS LEFT WITH THICK BANDAGES COVERING HALF HIS LEG. WHEN YOU FIRST TOOK THEM OFF AND SAW YOUR LEG, WHAT WAS`? WHAT WENT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THEN? HOLY CRAP. THAT LOOKS BAD. THEY PUT ABOUT 15,000 STITCHES INTO MY LEG TO KEEP A PIECE OF COTTON WOOL ON TO IT. CAN YOU SHOW ME YOUR SCAR? UM, YEAH, SURE. GOTTA WEAR A COMPRESSION GARMENT AS WELL. FEELS NORMAL UNLESS IT GETS TOUCHED. IT WAS REALLY CLOSE TO SPREADING, AND IT'S RELATIVELY LIKELY TO BE FATAL ONCE IT'S SPREAD AROUND THE BODY. DR ANTHONY TAM WORRIES THIS RECORD SUMMER WILL MEaN A RECORD NUMBER OF CASES. THIS YEAR THERE WILL HAVE BEEN A LOT OF UV EXPOSURE. THE UV IN NZ IS SO INTENSE. IT'S JUST NOT NORMAL TO GET BURNT SO QUICKLY. WE'RE ALREADY TOPPING THE TABLE FOR MELANOMA RATES. WE'RE NECK AND NECK WITH QUEENSLAND. WE SEE FIGURES LIKE 60 PER 100,000 PEOPLE WILL GET A MELANOMA. AND THAT COMPARES TO, SAY, THE UK, WHERE IT MAY BE NINE PER 100,000. WHICH MAKES THIS ALL THE MORE UNBELIEVABLE. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CHECK? UM, NO, I HAVEN'T. NO. (LAUGHS) NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN TO ONE. TOO BUSY. WE'RE PROBABLY NOT AS CONCERNED AS WHAT WE SHOULD BE. NOT SURPRISINGLY, THERE WAS A COMMON THEME AMONG THE ONES WHO HAD GOT THEIR SKIN LOOKED AT. MY MUM HAS HAD MELANOMA. MY DAD HAS A LOT OF SKIN CANCERS. MY MUM HAS MELANOMA AS WELL. IT'S A HUGE PROBLEM IN NZ. SO THIS SUNNY LUNCHTIME WE TOOK THE INITIATIVE ` FREE CHECKS BY AN EXPERT. IF YOU'VE GOT A SPOT ANYWHERE THAT YOU'D LIKE ME TO HAVE A SQUIZ AT. OH, YOU'VE GOT ONE ON YOUR BACK. LAUGHS: IT'S NOT EASY TO ACCESS! YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHEN MELANOMA DOES POP UP. TURNS OUT THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS MOST OF US DON'T KNOW. FOURTH CANCER MOST LIKELY TO CAUSE DEATH IN NZ. IT'S ALMOST AS HIGH AS THE ROAD TOLL. BUT THERE'S JUST NOT THAT SORT OF AWARENESS. AND HERE'S ANOTHER FACT. 2:1 MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO DIE FROM MELANOMA. I'VE PROBABLY GOT A BIT SUNBURNT ON THE NOSE COUPLE OF TIMES THIS SUMMER. THERE'S THAT 'SHE'LL BE RIGHT' ATTITUDE. YEAH, I'M FINE. ALL LAUGH IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO GET CHECKED. YOUR FIRST PORT OF CALL COULD BE YOUR GP OR A SPECIALIST LIKE ANTHONY. BUT... WHAT ABOUT THE APPS ON THE PHONE YOU CAN GET? AVERAGE PICK-UP RATE WAS 30%. THAT'S NOT GOOD. > IT'S NOT GOOD. HAPPY TO REPORT WE FOUND NO REALLY NASTY SURPRISES, BUT A FEW WEREN'T COMPLETELY OFF THE HOOK. IF THAT BLACK AREA DOES GET BIGGER, THEN I'D SAY CUT IT OUT. NOT SURPRISINGLY AFTER ISAAC'S SCARE, HIS FAMILY ARE CONVERTS TO REGULAR CHECKS. JUST SO MUCH BETTER TO CHECK AND FIND OUT IT'S NOTHING THAN TO NOT CHECK AND DISCOVER TOO LATE. Phenomenal. Isaac seems assist with pale skin and read here. Scottish skin. No one can be that confident. This weekend we passed the height of summer. Your holiday suntan. Lots of sunblock on. I got checked for the first time at the age of 47. I went along clean as a whistle. He does this brave thing. They freeze them and drop-off. Maybe it's just me. Just ones that could potentially be dangerous. Trying to tidy you up a little bit. I assume he was a certified doctor. Well with the checkup. COMING UP ON SEVEN SHARP ` TO COME HOME TO A BIG DISRESPECT ALL OVER OUR WHARE IS ABSOLUTELY ANNOYING AND DISGUSTING. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU FIND OUT THE REASON IT'S THERE. NOT ONLY CAN SHE NOT SPELL, SHE ALSO CAN'T COUNT. (LAUGHS) AND CAN'T SEE, OBVIOUSLY. AND CAN'T SEE. MAN: CHEEKY, MISCHIEVOUS, A GRIN THAT COULD LIGHT UP A ROOM. BUT BEHIND THAT GRIN, ESTHER WAS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH. MAN: I GOT THE STRONG IMPRESSION THAT I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE. LAUGHTER AND SAYING NO WAS NOT AN OPTION. We were just talking about great movies. I had time to settle in and watch a movie on the weekend. Saving Mr Banks. What a fantastic movie. It's the story of Mary Poppins and the story behind the story. With Emma Thompson and Tom Hanks. It's the only thing she ever wrote. She was Australian. It was about her dad. You've got to see the movie. Spend less time on the road and more time at home. WE'VE SEEN PLENTY OF DRAMA AND DIY DISASTERS ON HOME RENO SHOWS LIKE 'OUR FIRST HOME', BUT WE'VE DISCOVERED A HOUSE IN LOWER HUTT THAT'S IN A LEAGUE OF ITS OWN. IT'S A HOUSE WITH, SHALL WE SAY, SOME 'SPECIAL FEATURES'. JEHAN CASINADER WENT TO CHECK IT OUT, AND A WARNING, THIS STORY DOES CONTAIN SOME VERY UNPLEASANT LANGUAGE. IF YOU'VE NEVER VISITED LOWER HUTT, LET ME TAKE YOU ON A LITTLE TOUR. YOU'VE GOT STATE HOUSE, AFTER STATE HOUSE AFTER STATE HOUSE, BUT SOMEWHERE ROUND HERE, THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE` OH, THERE IT IS. OH MY GOODNESS. A MASTERPIECE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. I COULD UNDERSTAND THE WORD HO AND UNDERSTAND THE WORD SLUT. THE REST OF IT ` TOTAL GIBBERISH. BIT CRAY? VERY CRAY CRAY, DEFINITELY. TANISHIA DISCOVERED THE GRAFFITI AFTER SHE RETURNED FROM A TRIP. TO COME HOME TO A BIG DISRESPECT ALL OVER OUR WHARE IS ANNOYING AND DISGUSTING. THE MASTERPIECE WAS FIRST SPOTTED BY THE NEIGHBOURS. I LIKE FREAKED OUT WONDERING WHO DID THIS AND WHY DID THEY DO THIS. THE CULPRIT HAD WORKED HARD DURING THE NIGHT. DID ANYBODY SEE ANYTHING? NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF. IT LOOKED LIKE THE WORK OF A BORED TEENAGER. THERE'S KIDS RUNNING AROUND AT 2 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING. WHERE ARE THE PARENTS! BUT THERE'S A TWIST. WAIT FOR IT. THIS WAS APPARENTLY DONE BY AN ADULT WOMAN. YOU'RE KIDDING! I'M NOT KIDDING. FAR OUT! IT SEEMS A JILTED LOVER HAD PICKED UP A SPRAY CAN IN AN ACT OF REVENGE. SHE WAS AIMING FOR HER EX- HUSBAND'S HOUSE. OR EX-HUSBAND'S MISTRESS. THE PROBLEM IS SHE GOT THE ADDRESS WRONG. SO NOT ONLY CAN SHE NOT SPELL, SHE CAN'T COUNT. (LAUGHS) AND CAN'T SEE. THE WOMAN ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED TANISHIA'S HOUSE INSTEAD. YOU'D ALMOST THINK SHE RAN OUT OF PAINT AT SOME POINT IN THIS PROCESS? YEAH! JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN IT ALL. THIS IS WHERE IT GOT EVEN CRAZIER, THIS IS WHERE WE FIND BRAS AND A DRESS. THE DRESS, TANISHIA RECKONS, WAS USED AS A BALACLAVA. DO YOU EVEN WANT TO TOUCH THIS? I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT, BUT I WILL, JUST TO FIND OUT. IS THIS YOURS? AN ALLEGED CULPRIT HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED AND POLICE HAVE BEEN CALLED. THIS IS A THRILLER, THIS IS A SCARY MOVIE, THIS IS AN OBSESSED WOMAN. LOCALS ARE DRIVING BY TO CHECK OUT HER HANDIWORK. TAKE A SELFIE? (LAUGHS) TAKE A SELFIE, I WOULDN'T MIND. BUT TANISHIA AND HER PARTNER WANT THE GRAFFITI GONE. I WANT WHOEVER DONE THIS TO COME AND PAINT IT, AND I'LL WATCH HER DO IT. BUT THAT'S NOT ALLOWED BECAUSE THE PLACE BELONGS TO HOUSING NZ. WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING HIGH CALL VOLUME. WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING GRAFFITI ON OUR HOUSE. TANISHIA HAS BEEN CALLING SINCE SATURDAY. YOU COULD HAVE PAINTED THE HOUSE IN THE TIME YOU'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE. EXACTLY. BUT AFTER A CALL FROM US, HOUSING NZ HAS APOLOGISED AND PROMISED TO CLEAN IT UP QUICK SMART. SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAN AN ACT OF REVENGE, HERE ARE SOME TIPS ` SEND A TEXT. SEND A SNAPCHAT. DON'T SEND IT ALL OVER SOMEONE'S HOUSE. AND PERHAPS THE BEST ADVICE OF ALL ` IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE IGNORANT, AT LEAST LEARN HOW TO SPELL. That is nasty. Aren't you glad that bloke standing at the door smiled at the end. I hope he was finding it funny. She seems like a good sort too. Worst story I ever heard with the jilted lover - prawns in the curtain rod. I read that somewhere. I wouldn't do that. Unhappy woman took apart the ends of the curtain rod. Put prawns in the and secured it back up. The partner came home and can smell something. Pulled up the carpet. Lucky it's a hollow curtain rod. Where would you put the prawns at the solid curtain rod? Hem of the curtain. These are top tips. If you're angry over the Easter break, prawns and the curtain. COMING UP ON SEVEN SHARP ` THAT WAS THERE SHE ASKED ME IF I'D BE THE PATRON OF HER FOUNDATION. AND WITH UNCLE GERRY ON BOARD, ESTHER'S DREAM IS NOW A REALITY. LOOK AT THESE PRICES. KIWI PRICE ` 34.99. AUSSIE PRICE ` 29.99. TOO BLOODY DEAR. KIWIS, GET YOUR BUMS ACROSS THE DITCH! YES, TIM'S TERRIBLE AUSTRALIAN ACCENT TELLS US ALL ABOUT THE UPSIDES OF OUR DOLLAR REACHING PARITY. Seems like everyone has a revenge story. Unpicks the mattress. Put a dead fish in the mattress and stitch it back up. Oysters Kilpatrick. Serve them at the conciliatory lunch. Inside each of the oyster is a dead fly. Grass seed in the shagpile. A little bit of water and grass grows in the shagpile. Frozen dog poo grated. Into the carpet. You'd never get about. Go to our Facebook page. Ideas from relationships that have gone pear shaped. SHE WAS THE BEAUTY QUEEN PROVING THAT TRUE BEAUTY IS ON THE INSIDE. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ESTHER JORDAN MURIWAI ` THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO'D SPENT MOST OF HER LIFE IN HOSPITAL, BATTLING A DEBILITATING LUNG DISEASE. ESTHER KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DIE, BUT SHE HAD ONE WISH BEFORE SHE WENT ` TO SET UP A FOUNDATION TO HELP PEOPLE WITH THE SAME CONDITION IN THE FUTURE. TODAY HER DREAM CAME TRUE. HERE'S MICHAEL HOLLAND. SHE WAS AND, TO MY MIND, STILL IS ONE OF THE SWEETEST SOULS IMAGINABLE. AND TODAY, OUR FRIEND ESTHER GOT HER DYING WISH ` THE LAUNCH OF A NATIONAL FOUNDATION FOR THE DISEASE THAT ROBBED HER AND US, WAY TOO EARLY ` BRONCHIECTASIS. GROUP PERFORMS HAKA THE OCCASION AS VIBRANT AS HER. CHEEKY, MISCHIEVOUS AND A GRIN THAT COULD LIGHT UP A ROOM. AN ENERGY THAT COULD POWER A CITY. TESTAMENT TO THAT POWER ` THE PRESENCE OF THE HIGHEST OF DIGNITARIES, WHO ESTHER DELIGHTED ONLY WEEKS BEFORE HER DEATH LAST JUNE IN REFERRING TO IN THE MOST FAMILIAR OF TERMS. UNCLE GERRY. DID YOU JUST CALL THE GOVERNOR GENERAL UNCLE GERRY? YEAH, HE'S REALLY COOL, LIKE HE'S REALLY REALLY COOL. THE PAIR MEETING WHEN HIS EXCELLENCY SIR JERRY PRESENTED HER WITH AN ASTHMA FOUNDATION BRAVERY AWARD AT GOVERNMENT HOUSE. IT WAS THERE SHE ASKED ME IF I WOULD BE THE PATRON OF HER FOUNDATION. I WAS ABLE TO SAY YES TO HER REQUEST, ALTHOUGH REQUEST WASN'T QUITE THE WORD. I GOT THE STRONG IMPRESSION THAT I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE, AND SAYING NO WAS NOT AN OPTION FOR ESTHER. ESTHER'S FIERCE SPIRIT THEN BEING REINFORCED WHEN IT CAME TIME TO RECEIVE HER AWARD. I WAS MOVING OVER AND SHE WAVED ME BACK, LIKE THAT. SHE SAID, 'NO, NO, GO.' HE WAS COMING TOWARDS ME. I GOT SO MAD. I WAS LIKE... I SENT HIM BACK. I'M GOING, 'I'M COMING TO YOU.' YOU DON'T REALLY TELL THE GOVERNOR GENERAL TO GO, AND CERTAINLY NOT IN MY HOUSE, BUT I DID GO, COS SHE WANTED HER AWARD FROM ME IN THE SAME WAY AS EVERYONE ELSE HAD ` BY WALKING UP AND RECEIVING IT IN THE FRONT. TODAY, ON WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HER 25TH BIRTHDAY ` A TRULY REMARKABLE PERSON. IT WAS ESTHER'S PHOTO FRAME FRONT AND CENTRE. WHAT WOULD YOUR GIRL THINK? I THINK SHE WOULD BE AMAZED. AND SHE'D BE SO PROUD OF US ALL. AND THEN SHE'D BE SAYING, 'CELEBRATION TODAY, WORK TO BE DONE TOMORROW.' THAT'S WHAT SHE'D BE SAYING. 'I WANT YOU TO GO OUT, AND I WANT YOU TO FIND THESE FAMILIES, FIND THESE CHILDREN, AND I WANT YOU TO SUPPORT THEM. THIS IS A FABULOUS OPPORTUNITY TO PROVIDE ADVOCACY, SUPPORT FOR THIS REALLY IMPORTANT CONDITION. ESTHER'S BEEN ABLE TO SAY, 'THIS NEEDS TO BE OUT THERE. 'THIS NEEDS TO BE PULLED OUT OF THE SHADOWS 'AND WE NEED TO LOOK AT IT AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.' SO OUR SPARKLING BEAUTY'S DREAM IS NOW A REALITY, AND ALL THE MORE SPECIAL IT IS TOO BECAUSE GOOD OLD UNCLE JERRY CAME TO THE PARTY, JUST AS HE WAS TOLD TO. Lasting legacy. Lance O Sullivan is for the New Zealander of the year. The disease is linked with rheumatic fever. You find it in poor and damp houses. What a beautiful soul. SO, OVER THE WEEKEND, OUR DOLLAR BECAME WORTH BASICALLY THE SAME AS THE AUSTRALIAN CURRENCY. WE'VE TALKED ABOUT PARITY FOR YEARS, AND TECHNICALLY WE'RE STILL A SMIDGE SHORT, BUT AS NEAR AS COUNTS, IT'S BUCK FOR BUCK. BAD NEWS FOR EXPORTERS, AND GOOD NEWS FOR TOURISTS. BUT IT GOT US THINKING ABOUT HOW AUSTRALIA MIGHT TRY AND SELL THIS TO KIWIS. THE FOLLOWING IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A MESSAGE FROM THE AUSSIE TOURISM BOARD. AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: GIDDAY, COBBERS. IT'S YOUR OLD MATES HERE. GIDDAY. NOW THAT THIS IS PRETTY MUCH WORTH THIS. YOU KIWIS ARE A 100% RICH. IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE A KOALA CRINGE. (SCREAMS) SO WE WANT YOU TO SKIP ACROSS THE DITCH... FOR BARGAINS. THIS BEAUTIFUL HOUSE IN BRIZZO USED TO COST HEAPS A FEW YEARS AGO, MATE. NOW IT'S 20% LESSER, BLUE! TELL HIM HE'S DREAMING. BOTH SOB WE'RE HAVING A PARITY SELF-PITY PARTY. LOOK AT THESE PRICES. KIWI PRICE ` 34.99. AUSSIE PRICE ` 29.99. TOO BLOODY DEAR. KIWIS! GET YA BUMS ACROSS THE DITCH. SHOPPING, BOOZING,... DREAMING. STRAYA! IT'S BIGGER, BRASHER AND NOW CHEEP CHEEP CHEAPER! EVEN YOUR SMALL CUTE SWEAR WORDS... BOTH: BUGGER. ARE NOW WORTH ALMOST THE SAME AS OUR BIG HORRIBLE ONES. THE LAST TIME THIS HAPPENED WAS IN 1974. AND THAT WAS FAKE, SO COME TO AUSSIE. WE'RE RULED BY A BERK. TOO MUCH DRINKING, EH? AND AS BROKE AS A DRUNK OCKER AT MORNING TEA TIME. AUSSIE ` IT'S HOW NZ USED TO BE. Thank you to Tim Wilson for that. SO PARITY OR PRETTY CLOSE TO IT ` ONE OF THOSE STRANGE THINGS BECAUSE DESPITE WHAT IT REALLY MEANS, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT IT THAT MAKES US FEEL LIKE WE'RE ABOUT TO WIN SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT. WE'RE SO COMPETITIVE WITH THE AUSSIES, THAT WE'LL TAKE A VICTORY WHEREVER WE CAN GET IT. HEY, AND NO KIDDING, IF YOU'RE PLANNING A SHOPPING TRIP ACROSS THE TASMAN, THEN IT WILL BE ALL THE MORE SWEETER, BUT LET'S NOT GET TOO CARRIED AWAY - THE KIWI DOLLAR ACHIEVING PARITY HURTS US A BIT TOO. OUR EXPORTERS, OUR TOURISM OPERATORS MAY ALL FEEL THE PINCH AT LEAST IN THE SHORT TERM, AND IT ALSO REFLECTS TO SOME EXTENT A WEAKER AUSTRALIAN ECONOMY, WHICH ISN'T A GOOD THING FOR US EITHER, SO MAYBE THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD HOPE FOR ` LETS GET OVER THAT 100 MARK, CELEBRATE AND THEN RETURN TO SOMETHING THAT'S A BIT MORE PALATABLE FOR ALL OF US. I LOVED EASTER, EXCEPT FOR THE RULES. EASTER IS THE HOLIDAY OF DUMB RULES, AND THE DUMBEST OF THE RULES IS THE BUSINESS WITH THE DRINKS AND THE MEALS. ON CERTAIN DAYS, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED A DRINK WITHOUT FOOD. WHY? WHAT POSSIBLE LOGIC IS THERE TO THAT? AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT A MEAL IS, AND WHEN YOU WANT ANOTHER DRINK, DO YOU ORDER ANOTHER MEAL? TWO DRINKS, TWO MEALS? ARE CHIPS A MEAL? AND IF THEY'RE NOT, WHY NOT? ONE PLACE I GOT TOLD ABOUT LEFT THE DIRTY PLATES AT THE TABLE IN CASE THE INSPECTORS WALKED IN. ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE THE RULES REALLY THAT BORED, OR DO THEY ALL WORK FOR BASTARDS INCORPORATED AND JUST DO IT TO MAKE LIFE ABSURD? THIS IS A 24/7 WORLD, NOT 1972. LETS START ACTING LIKE IT. CAPTIONS BY JESSICA BOELL AND ANTONY VLUG. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR.