TINKLY MUSIC Captions by Faith Hamblyn. www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2016. INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS I never tell people that I'm dyslexic. I guess it's a fear of being judged. Also, um, the fear that they won't understand. And also how do I explain that to them in a way that they can understand it? Because I myself at times, you know, question how much I even know about dyslexia, and I have dyslexia. FLOATY FLUTE MUSIC I am a perfectionist. I am very hard on myself. I think it just comes about from how I was brought up. My mother was a perfectionist. She liked to have everything a certain way and presented in a certain fashion; um, you know, a great conversationalist. You know, how could you not want to, you know, be those things? So, um, I'm constantly trying on a day-to-day basis, failing miserably, but, um, giving it my best shot. (LAUGHS) FLOATY FLUTE MUSIC CONTINUES Doubt is something that constantly plagues my mind. I'm very scared of failure. Uh, but at the same time, I'm not scared to give something a go. And I'm not, you know, scared to move forward and to, you know, take my life in a new direction. I think I'd be bored completely if I didn't, you know, um, do something new on a day-to-day basis. I am many things. Uh, and dyslexic is one of them, but it doesn't define me. JAZZ MUSIC So, when I first started at Berkeley Cinemas in Mission Bay, I, uh, didn't disclose that I had a disability, because I didn't know how it would be received, um, by my co-workers, by the company. Uh, they have been, um, extremely supportive. They've really supported me through my transition into, you know, the workforce, and, um, they've really helped me. I really just feel like I fit in there. I come in every day, and I love to iron my shirt, because it's all about presentation. You've gotta look good and feel good. Um, but it also just says to the customer that you care about your appearance, and I feel like that's something that's lacking in today's businesses. So, you know, we like to keep things sharp and prim and proper here at Berkeley Cinemas. JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES DOOR CLICKS MUSIC CONTINUES PACKET RUSTLES The week's been, um, just really fast-paced. I'm seeing a lot of movies lately, which has been good, yes. Oh really? (CHUCKLES) 'I, you know, love working with people. 'Um, you know, my crew members at work, we have such a tight, wonderful bond.' We're all great friends. We hang out outside of, um, work and everything. And we, um, all really love each other and are like a big family, we like to call ourselves. Um, so, yeah, Ian's part of that family. I love this jacket you're wearing tonight. It's absolutely fantastic. BOTH CHUCKLE It's absolutely beautiful. 'I guess I just have the need to please. Um, I'm a Cancerian ` Cancerians are all about pleasing. 'I love to offer compliments. I love to be friendly and kind. And, uh, I just feel like, you know, 'wouldn't the world be a much nicer place if we were all like that?' Wonderful choice. I hear it's a very good film. You haven't seen it yet? I haven't actually seen it yet. I know. Oh! I mean, it's one of the curses of working in the theatre ` you don't get to see as many films as you'd like. Um, but that's all right. You know, I hear about all of them from the customers, which is great. I've been trying to, you know, decide on a career. Um, although in saying that, I think I've always known what I've really wanted to do, but it's just been the case of, you know, applying for what you want and not getting it, so falling into then a different category or looking at other options. Um, and that's not a bad thing, because it's good to explore other options and... and to see where life could possibly lead. CHICKENS CLUCK So, I'm trying to find my place in the world currently, and I don't know quite where that is. I think, you know, I wanna know that I've been put here for a purpose. I think we all do. Um, I think it's just human nature, and you just want to, um, you know, know that you belong somewhere. I've had a lot of fun going to fabric stores and decorating and being creative and just trying new and different things. I love to dress a room, so I guess I'm a person of many passions and talents. (CHUCKLES) RELAXED MUSIC I love living alone. It's fantastic. Who would want to live with anyone? Um, no. (CHUCKLES) You know, you can come and go as you please. I could be out at 3am and, you know, come back and there's no one saying, 'Oh, well, where have you been?' So, um, it's fantastic. You can just roam and do your own thing. POP MUSIC PLAYS ON COMPUTER I grew up in Auckland, and, um, I actually grew up in the suburb of Royal Oak, so right next to One Tree Hill. CHILDREN SING We were a very close unit, um, me and my mother especially. Um, my mum was like my best friend. And, um, losing her later on, uh, was just absolutely, you know, devastating. Here we are at Taupo again. That's a pool! Yeah. It's a hot pool. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) It was a happy childhood, yes. ALL SING The early days of school, they were really difficult, because I was struggling so much with, um, you know, the reading, the writing. I didn't deal with bullies so much at primary school; it was more just being in the classroom was difficult. Um, it's just a very hard thing to describe, um, I guess not being able to measure up to the other students in the class and, you know, feeling like you're behind in everything and, uh, just kind of, you know, damned in every direction and, you know, really wanting to... uh, you know, wanting to succeed, but not being able to and wondering why, you know, you're being hindered in so many ways. The more invisible, I guess, I could have been back then, um, I certainly tried to be. (CHUCKLES) From the productions of Titanic, I bring you this film,... heartbreaking but lovely,... Teddy Bear Titanic. Oh, Jack, I think we hit an iceberg! I think we're flowing. The water's gonna flow. We must tell mother and Cal. 'Because I was failing at school, my mother organised some tests, 'and that's when I was diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia.' It is really hard to, um, put it into a context, like what is dyspraxia and dyslexia, because it is in some ways quite a broad, you know, spectrum, um, disability. Um, for me, it really affected my reading and writing, just decoding words, because with dyslexia, you're constantly trying to, you know, decode, um, what you're taking in. Like, looking at a book, for me back then, um, you could have shown me hieroglyphics. Like, that's what it was like. Luckily, though, there was a school called the Wilson School, which specialised in helping kids with disabilities and learning difficulties, like me. So, Ian the boy at Wilson School was very, uh, different to Ian the boy in, uh, the mainstream classroom, um, I think, because... I was always trying to fit in in mainstream ` uh, you know, trying not to be too different ` um, whereas at the Wilson School, I was just accepted for me and who I was. And, uh, I think that's, you know, part of the struggle even in today's world is, you know, being accepted for who you are and not being judged. Um, this is my art picture over here,... if you look very carefully. Um, I... I did this... with my art work. I drawed it. Well done. Fantastic, Ian. That's all. So, it really opened my eyes to, um, you know, the world of disability and, um, also showed me that no matter who you are, no matter what walk of life you come from, um, you can really succeed and really learn and just flourish. PEACEFUL MUSIC BIRDS CHIRP So, after high school, I wanted to pursue a career in film and television, so I went to the National College of Design Technology, which was fantastic, because there were so many creative types there, so you had editors and graphic designers ` all of these people who just wanted to, you know, make things happen and, you know, create, you know, um, I guess, works of art. So I felt like I really fitted in there, and, um, you know, I was in the right place, and it was good. I started, you know, writing these soap operas, uh, and, uh, you know, getting my friends and my family and even my mother, you know, to play these, you know, various roles. Oh, come on. Please? Your father and I really need a night out. Well, OK, but I better be getting some more pocket money this week than last week. I'm warning you. Stay back. What, you really think a broomstick's going to protect you from this? You killed Laura. DRAMATIC MUSIC BROOM CLATTERS WOMAN SOBS ON COMPUTER POIGNANT MUSIC PLAYS ON COMPUTER Me watching soap operas, it's an escape into another world. And it's absolutely wonderful, because it's exactly how I think anyone in their right mind actually wants to lead their life ` you know, having a G & T in the middle of the day; you know, um, plotting some switch at the hospital; um, doing, you know, just these crazy things in, like, a small-town environment. Uh, but not doing it themselves, but seeing a character on screen act out these, you know, um... these bizarre, um, fantasies and getting away with it, where in real life, you'd be arrested or, you know, charged with fraud or, you know, even worse. So, um, yeah, it's, um... it's a great escape. I've actually started, you know, planning some ideas for a soap opera, just, like, a web soap opera series. Um, I'm thinking of calling it, like, Valley Of Dreams or something very soapy like that, maybe Memories In Time ` just, you know, something fun, something camp. ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC Me and my mum shared a lot of, you know, common interests, like, um, soap operas and different television shows, and, uh, you know, we'd go out curtain shopping together and do that sort of thing. When Mum passed away, um, it was, you know, very... you know, uh, well, a very difficult time. I, uh, really, you know, became depressed about everything in my life ` so, um, you know, certain careers that I wanted to have happened weren't happening; um, also, you know, uh, dealing with the fact that I had a father who had moved to Masterton and was out of the picture, you know, leading his own life, which was wonderful, but, you know, also just, you know, feeling alone in Auckland. ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES There is a huge link between, um, dyslexia and anxiety, but also depression. I live with depression on a day-to-day basis. It's, uh, you know, something you can't shake. It's not like you wake up one day and it's gone ` it's constantly there. But you find a way to, you know, get out of bed, to continue with your day. You find the little positives. I come up with little tricks to, you know, get me motivated. Yeah, it's not always easy. And there have been plenty of times, especially in the past, where I've felt like, oh gosh, wouldn't it be all nice if it just ended tomorrow? But there's always been something that's come along or something that's happened or something wonderful and it's changed that thinking right around, and, you know, you've just been able to continue. So, although I deviated for a little while, um, I decided that I really wanna become a flight attendant. So in about August last year, I applied for a job with Air NZ. And, um, I got through all the interview stages, um, except for the final interview stage. I think I was just feeling very nervous on my final interview and unfortunately didn't get through, um, based on how I presented. The questions I was being asked ` I had prepared for, um, a certain string of questions to answer, but all the questions I got asked on the day, uh, really threw me, um, off completely. So I wasn't able to, you know, give the appropriate answers. I felt disappointment ` I felt disappointment in myself, I felt like I'd really let myself down. Um, I also was thinking, 'Well, you know, what next? 'Um, you know, I feel like I'm running out of options here. I know what I want to do. 'Um, there's so many jobs I don't actually want to do, and, um, you know, 'can I really stomach doing another job I really don't wanna do?' Hi. How are you? He did amazingly well, and he got through to a final interview. Unfortunately, he wasn't successful. Perfect. Thanks a lot. Ian was somebody who stood out to me from 18 months ago, when he applied to be a flight attendant. Um, so when I met him again, I immediately felt that connection that I'd had with him 18 months ago. As Mum used to say, we're not quitters ` you know, we just persevere. And, um, I think that, um, in itself has always been in the back of my mind, so I decided to reapply. I guess what excites me about becoming a flight attendant is, you know, meeting a new person every 30 seconds or, you know, minute ` whatever it is ` and, uh, you know, getting to explore the world, this wonderful world that we live in. Uh, also, being able to be a brand ambassador, to represent NZ, and to, um, really, you know, sell this country to, um, a lot of... a lot of new tourists coming to it. Ian has to stack up for us. He's not getting, you know, an easy road to being a flight attendant. Anyone can turn up and tell us all the right things ` you know, that, um, you know, they're great at customer service ` but actually, you know within minutes whether somebody, through the way they present or their eyes, whether they're passionate about people and hospitality, and that's really important to us. So if they can't connect, then they're not gonna fit our culture. I'm probably not everyone's speed. But in saying that, um, I am always pleasant, and I always, you know, um, try to please. So I think I've been able to get on with, um, a variety of different groups over the years, groups that you probably wouldn't think, 'Ooh, this person can actually, you know, fit in with that group' ` I've somehow managed to find a way, um, you know, through, um, maybe offering a compliment or, you know, saying, 'Oh, that's really interesting. Tell me more about that. Can you elaborate?' You know, it all comes down to conversation and, you know, how you can, you know, engage with that person. Because as long as you can engage with them, then you can extract from them and, um, you know, make headway and, you know, uh, create a good environment. (CHUCKLES) Have you had a nice day so far? Oh, mate, it's been pretty good. I'm on my second movie this afternoon. Excellent. Good on you. What are you going to see? So I'm watching the Wilderpeople. Oh yes. Wonderful. I get a lot of compliments at work saying, you know, 'Wow, I feel like you should be a flight attendant, 'because, you know, you've got that mannerism about you; uh, you're, you know, really friendly; 'um, you know, but you also look the part.' And, uh, yeah, so that's something that's definitely helped` helped steer me in the direction that I'm currently going in. Wonderful. Do enjoy your movie today. Thank you. Excellent. You're welcome. I can't tell you how many times customers just tell me how much they adore him and his service and how good he is, um, with the customers. He just always is getting compliments. He gets to know the customer and asks them questions and is genuinely interested in them. It always amazes me, cos, you know, we don't really have anyone else that, um, gets those kind of compliments. Uh, that just comes to $19.80 all up. Wonderful. Just on card? Fantastic. There you go. For us, working with dyslexia, um, is not foreign ` so we have had crew in the past who've had dyslexia. We're much better to know about it and to actually make sure that we set people up for success. The first time I applied for Air NZ, I didn't say anything about my dyslexia for that very reason. I was worried that they wouldn't take a second glance at me. You know, I want the job. Um, and I don't want to, you know... Uh, the less said, um, you know, the more gained, I suppose, is the thinking. Hello, Mike. How are you? Good. So good to see you. You too. How have you been? I've been really good, thank you. Yes. 'So, Air NZ has been wonderful. They've teamed me up with a mentor. Um, his name is Michael Skeens. 'He, uh, suggested that I start a journal, that I start writing down situations that happen at work, 'how I deal with them, the outcome.' It makes me feel really good when I'm able to give a really positive customer service experience, because you're making that person's day. I mean, you have to bear in mind you can't please everyone who comes into the cinema, but, um, you can try your very best. And I think, um, that's all anyone's asking of you in life, so... Yeah. That's awesome. That's great. That's good, good. He's going to, um, offer me, you know, every... everything that he knows, um, basically, and, uh, also try and train me for that final interview, which is, um, wonderful, so that when I do have the final interview, I ace it and I get in. Because, you know, that's what I want, at the end of the day. I think the key message from my perspective and the right thing to do for Ian is that he's not being treated special. He has to be the right fit for us. And for... him, he's on that journey, and he's doing really well. Um, and so we're just supporting him on that journey. I'm nervous, because, you know, this is my future. This is, um, also my dream. Um, I feel like there's a lot riding on this. I have, uh, you know, the fear of not, um, presenting in the right way. You know, it can be, like, little things, um, that actually are my biggest fears ` so, um, you know, when I talk, like, you know, um, my lips can slightly be off-centre or that type of little fear. I've been feeling a lot more intense about it this year, but at the same time, I've also been letting go a little bit, because, um, I've gotten my hopes so high in the past. It's quite crushing when it all kind of all comes falling down, so I'm just trying to keep a level head. And no matter what the outcome is gonna be, I'm gonna be fine, at the end of the day. You know, you've gotta take every day as it comes at you. ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC FADES I used to have a bit of a problem back in high school and just, I don't know, when I was younger, just blushing. Um, I think it just comes from my shy nature. Like, I am really quite a shy person, but because I've been, you know, working in customer services for so long and just been in different roles, um, my personality has come out and really flourished, uh, but I still do, um, you know, blush from time to time, but nothing as bad as what it was back in, you know, primary or high school. I definitely looked a little bit more like a lobster, so yeah, not great. (CHUCKLES) My mum bought me my first concealer, and then after that, um, yeah, I just kind of got a little bit too hooked into make-up. And now that I'm, you know, getting older, I'm trying to get away from, you know, using too much make-up. Uh, I mean, now I'm at the point where I hardly put anything on, but sometimes I'll just, you know, add a little something just to kind of, you know, spruce the face up, cos unfortunately, I haven't been, Love your scarf. It's so cool. How's your day been? It's been good. That's good. Excellent. Wonderful. Yeah. And, um, you know, love getting the excuse to, you know, do a friend's hair. Oh, guess where I'm going this Friday. Where? Um, I'm going to Servilles to get my hair done. Oh cool. Um, I'm going a little bit lighter, so I'm gonna go back to being a blond. (CHUCKLES) Are you getting a bleach and tone? I am ` I'm getting a bleach and tone. Thank you. Thank you. And I can't imagine you not being a flight attendant ` totally see you walking down the aisle, offering me chicken or fish or a Coke or something like that for $5. Oh, I hope so. Definitely. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Fair enough. I think, for me, cos I've known you so long, I've seen it all, really. I've seen your highs and lows, and I've seen you through your mum passing and all those, you know, valleys and mountains that we've come through in our relationship. You know, your quality is that you don't give up, and you feel like it, but you still carry on. And that's what your mum and your dad both instilled in you as well. And you're stronger than you realise, so... Yeah. Thank you. (CHUCKLES) Very excited about tomorrow. So, I'm going to Air NZ, and I have my final interview with them. Uh, so I've been, uh, you know, sorting out what to wear, and, uh, you know, I've been going over the questions and answers, um, that I feel like they're gonna ask me. So, um, yeah, just getting all prepped and ready. READS: 'Describe a stressful situation in which you had to use your communication skills and/or 'problem-solving skills. How did you handle the situation, and what were the results?' So, I've had a few different, um, situations arise at the cinema. One that I can think about was actually over the summertime. Uh, we had the air conditioning go out. It was stifling hot. It was absolutely horrible. So we had a lot of customers, you know, come up and, you know, complain about the air-conditioning situation. Unfortunately, we didn't have the repair people coming through for, like, uh, another couple of days, so, um, what I did was I took the initiative ` cos you've always gotta take the initiative in the workplace ` um, and I decided to give out free sodas. Cos sodas don't cost the cinema anything. I had to clear it with the manager before it did it, but, um, it, you know, kept the customer happy, it kept, um, the cinema happy, and, uh, it just, um, you know, shows that you care. And I think that's all the customer wants to see at the end of the day, is that you care. Because, you know, it's not just all about taking their money; it's about giving them something in return. I feel way more prepared, uh, you know, way more ready. I feel like this is the most ready I'm ever gonna be. JAZZ MUSIC So, now it's a waiting game. It'll probably take them a while to get back to me. So, uh, watch this space. Do I have a plan B? No, not really. But you know what? I believe in the universe, and I believe in myself, and I know that I'm going to find my way. I'm a great believer that, you know, this is all leading somewhere and that, um, it is all gonna come to fruition in the end in some divine way. JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES PEACEFUL MUSIC I had the final interview with Air NZ, and, um, you know, I didn't get the position. Unfortunately, I wasn't what they were looking for. The feedback that I got given, um, from Air NZ was, um, that I didn't come across being genuine enough. And I must admit, like, I'm not a very genuine person when it comes to interviews. I don't think anyone is. You know, we all put up a facade, we all put up a front. Um, it's just human nature, and, you know, I was probably just doing it to protect myself, at the end of the day. Unfortunately, it wasn't actually what they wanted. They wanted to, apparently, see the real me. There's been so many times where I haven't gotten the job that I actually want, so this, in lots of ways, felt no different to that. I've really, kind of, had a switch of thinking. I went for a job the other day. I got offered the job. Um, it's just another part-time gig to go along with my cinema work, uh, and, um, I was the real me in that interview, which was great. I mean, um, I was really proud of myself. Yeah, I believe I'm destined for something. Um, and it doesn't have to be great; it just has to be, um, you know, uh, me living my life, um, and even, you know, making a difference in other people's lives, cos that's what I'm all about. And that's what I would like to do, is just make a difference. ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUES PEACEFUL MUSIC FADES Hello, everyone. I would just like to say how, um, truly honoured I am to be here tonight. I was sitting there, and I was, uh, looking at all the videos, and I was trying to hold my tears back, uh, cos of all my make-up, so I didn't wanna stand up here looking bad. We're closing in on the 2016 Attitude Awards. This is our ninth year, and we've mixed things up. Get ready for new categories. This year's awards will be bigger and better than ever before. You'll experience unique stories of Kiwis achieving, mixed with world-class performances and a full three-course dinner. Only... L-I. Live. O-N. Once. For tickets, go to... Copyright Able 2016.