1 Tonight ` I've got no intentions of being with anyone else, so thought, 'Might as well get married.' They won the wedding of their dreams. She nearly cried. Now they've been stood up at the golden sand altar. It's horrible. Unfortunately, same-sex marriage is illegal in Rarotonga. And ` They got served by an online cheat. They are not tennis shoes, they're running shoes, so worthless. Why are we so loose with our cash on the net? I can make a website that looks exactly like a legitimate business, but be a fraudulent site. Plus ` Olympians, on your marks, get set, go! Do you hang on? I want to talk to a human. Or hang up? Oh, they've hung up. The waiting game is over. Still waiting. I'm not worried about it. The music's getting better. The call-centre Olympics have begun. Copyright Able 2017. Welcome to the show. Weather bombs, wardrobe malfunctions and drunken uncles on the rampage. Anyone you wanna name and shame? No, no, not today. There are many things that can make your wedding memorable for all the wrong reasons. But crystal-clear waters, tranquil lagoons and white sandy beaches should not be on the list. Mm. Sadly, if you're gay and you've won a free wedding in Rarotonga, they are. Here's Anna. (BILLY IDOL'S 'WHITE WEDDING') Life is complicated. (TINKLY MUSIC CONTINUES) And sometimes it doesn't turn out how you expect. Just ask Ali McWatters and Tracey Strachan. How did you guys meet? Oh, I was taking my children for horse-riding lessons with Ali, and, yeah, we developed a friendship, and, yeah, went from there. (LAUGHS) After five years, Ali and Tracey decided to make the ultimate commitment. And I have got no intentions of being with anyone else, so... (LAUGHS) That's good. ...we might as well get married. (LAUGHS) Having found love, the perfect engagement ring and two stunning dresses, they were at a wedding expo scouting for venue ideas when they won the perfect wedding in Rarotonga. Literally, the first competition we came across was a dream wedding in Rarotonga, so we thought we'd better enter that one, cos that would be ideal for us. Absolutely. So you entered? We did. And? And won! (LAUGHS) Lo and behold, we won! What was your reaction when you won? I was a bit of a maniac. (LAUGHS) Tracey leapt on the stage. I just jumped straight up from my seat. Yeah. (LAUGHS) She nearly cried. (LAUGHS) It was an opportunity to have the wedding that we wanted that we didn't think we could have. Mm. But like we said, life is complicated. And their dream tropical wedding plans were scuttled when they discovered gay weddings aren't legal in Rarotonga. We were in shock a bit. Yeah. It was horrible. And it's an awkward position to be in. Well, we went along to this expo, we were able to enter the prize ` if it wasn't able to be fulfilled, then the prize shouldn't have been held here in New Zealand. It was a crucial bit of information that was never revealed when they entered and won an all-inclusive wedding package. We'd said we were a couple, and she took our names down, so she knew. And she seemed quite excited. The prize was being offered by Edgewater Resort, a popular choice of venue for Kiwis wanting to tie the knot in paradise. Its value ` more than $5000, for the ceremony, a celebrant and a week's stay on the island. This is Edgewater's brochure that Tracey and Ali picked up at the wedding expo ` plenty of photographs of couples enjoying their big day. There's even a section on the legal requirements of a wedding in the Cook Islands, but nothing in there says you can't have a same-sex marriage. There's nothing in there, no. We looked through the, um, entry form that we put in; uh, we looked through the booklet; we looked on the website ` there's nothing. It was a serious problem, a major oversight, so Tracey emailed Edgewater Resort. They told me to go back to the wedding expo to see what to do from here. She did, giving the expo's organisers her guest numbers and the dates they wanted to visit. But there was another problem ` Edgewater said even if they could have a ceremony, the resort couldn't find anyone willing to be a celebrant for the couple anyway. And that was the last Tracey and Ali heard from the resort or the North City Wedding Expo. I've tried emailing and phone calling,... and I've had no reply back whatsoever. How does that make you feel? Not very good. (LAUGHS) That's sad. Apart from being in limbo, um, yeah, it's almost like they've just discarded us. We rang the expo's organiser, and she agreed there was a bit of a problem. So we rang the resort, and they weren't sure what had happened either. Raro's always been a very special place for this couple. It was our first holiday together. Our first holiday together. (BOTH CHUCKLE) Yeah, absolutely. And when we were there, we both said it would be a lovely place to be married. In the absence of a law change, that will never happen. But the couple's adamant a compromise can be found and they should be able to celebrate their love surrounded by family and friends on the sandy shores of Rarotonga. We're not asking them to marry us, we're not even asking them to bless us ` we are just asking them to be able to use their venue, which they offered us in the first place by winning the prize. They have to do no more than have us at their resort ` that's all they need to do. Which there's no law against. Exactly. Mm. Oh, this is no good. And so disappointing. What went wrong? Well, it seems poor communication is largely to blame. Now, in a statement, North City Wedding Expo says... Mm. There's no chance of a wedding in Rarotonga, but Anna did have some good news. So, this is about as far away from Rarotonga as I could even imagine being right now, but we're back at Tracey and Ali's. We've got some good news to deliver them. This is the part of my job I really love. Hi, ladies. Come on down. Now, we've been talking to Edgewater and to the North City Wedding Expo this week. We've got some good news for you both. Yes. We have your ceremony in Rarotonga. Oh, no way! Fabulous! Oh wow! Thank you! (CHUCKLES) You're welcome. Thank you so much. So, it looks like there was just a bit of a communication breakdown there ` they thought they had offered you a ceremony. They've confirmed it now that they will offer you a beachside ceremony. You can get your wedding dresses on and go and have a holiday. How do you feel? Oh, fantastic. Brilliant. Brilliant. There you are. Thanking you. White wedding flowers to get you in the mood for it all. Aw. Wow. Hey, now, look, uh, Deirdre from North City Wedding Expo has also said to us that she would like to help you out with the wedding side here. She would like to assist with you getting the marriage licence and a celebrant for things this side as well so you can make it all officially legal. Oh neat. Brilliant. Oh, that's fantastic. That's really good of both parties. Thank you. Can't wait to see the pictures. You're going to send us the photos, aren't you? Absolutely. I mean, short of an invite, of course. Absolutely. Well done, and thank you so much for coming to us, and we're so pleased we could help. Oh, thank you. Thank you for helping us. No worries. Thank you. Aw. Yay! That is a much better outcome. Yeah. Really good. I think it's time now for a fun fact from Hado, a really irregular segment on Fair Go. All right. Do you know, Kiwis spend on average $30,000 on their wedding? Wow. I didn't spend that much at all. Now, how much do you think the world's most expensive wedding cost? World's most? Ooh, it'll be millions. $10 million? Well, you might have to go a bit bigger. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West reportedly spent $17 million. But that is a pittance compared to the $48 million that Kate and William supposedly spent. $48 million! Ooh! I know. It's big. It's a princely sum, but it was dad who took the cake for one of the world's most expensive weddings ` you know Charles and Di back in the '80s ` said to have cost a staggering $68 million. Adjust that for inflation, carry the one, times it by two ` $260 million. Wow. Wow! Can't even comprehend that. I know. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a few fun facts for you from Hado. Thank you, Hado. Right. After the break ` are you at risk of getting slammed at the net? Internet bargains aren't always what they seem. They are not tennis shoes, they're running shoes. If you trust '.co.nz', you could get served. Often fraudsters will put things in so that you are convinced that you're dealing with a local company. And ` TVNZ in association with ` well, actually, we don't have a sponsor ` are proud to present the 2017 Fair Go call-centre Olympics. The waiting game is over. Do you know how long I've been waiting to talk to you? Welcome back. When disaster strikes, you can expect your insurer to step in and bail you out, right? Mm-hm. But what if they don't? How can you stop yourself falling victim to that insurance mantra ` deny, deny, deny? (FUNK MUSIC) It's been a pretty tough couple of weeks for consumers. Cyclone Debbie smashed Edgecumbe, leaving some homeowners with massive repair bills. House is gone. Family's safe ` that's the main thing. And as the country recovered, Mother Nature reared her ugly head and threw Cyclone Cook our way. Across the Pacific, United Airlines was dealing with a storm of its own. Go! Off! Hey, hey, hey! I very much doubt you can get reaccommodating insurance, but a bit of prudence can avoid headaches and nightmares. The main problem we still see with consumers is that they don't read the documentation. They make assumptions, they have expectations, and the biggest one of them all is, but I've paid my premiums, I've never made a claim ` they should pay this one. So here's a few situations where you might find yourself caught out. Pre-existing medical conditions when you travel ` don't just think about those who are travelling, but does anyone back home have a medical condition that could impact your travel, a sick parent, for example? If so, then you'll need to include them on your policy too. Jewellery ` you'll need to check exactly what your policy says about your precious jewels. Sometimes, you won't be covered unless you're wearing it or it's locked in a safe. You won't be covered for theft by some policies if it's not on, even if you're just popping down the road. Take photos, make lists so you can prove it was damaged. There's lots of reasons a claim on your car insurance might get turned down ` if someone without a licence is driving or if a car insured as a private vehicle... Our insurance watchdog, Karen Stevens, says do your research, make informed choices and be realistic. People need to read the documentation. That's the main thing that they could do. And if they have questions, ask. By the time something goes wrong, it's too late. There are a lot of areas where you can get tripped up. If you are having any insurance issues, you can contact the insurance ombudsman. It is a free service. Right. Do you trust '.co.nz' sites? Do you automatically assume you are dealing with a New Zealand-based company? Well, if you answered yes to those questions, listen up. This next story could save you from falling victim to unscrupulous overseas merchants. Here's Garth. This is Jack. Jack is 11, but he already sounds like a tennis pro. Build cross-court, and wait for an opportunity, and finish it down the line. These are Jack's new shoes ` Nike, legit; loves them. Look at that footwork. If you have flat soles, like my previous shoes did, then you can slide around a lot. And sliding can sometimes be a bit dangerous. As for these shoes, these were a mistake from the start. They're not tennis shoes, they're running shoes, so worthless. They're not what Mum ordered and maybe not Nikes either. And it had this really horrible plastic smell, like, a really strong toxic smell. Not new-shoe smell? No, not new-shoe smell. And we had a look at the shoes, and they were not the shoes that we ordered. Jack's mum got these instead of these because she couldn't buy local, even when she went for what she thought was a local online business, www.thebagpiper.co.nz Cos it said '.co.nz', and I sort of assumed that it was a New Zealand company. It's a crucial assumption to get right. Trade with a Kiwi business, and consumer law covers you completely. But how can you be sure who's on the other side of the net? These guys are learning how to win on the tennis court ` winning online, it's a whole different ball game. You need some skills for that. Netsafe takes complaints from Kiwis about their online troubles. And Martin says the dodgy .nz URL, as it's called, is just one of the tricks for the unwary. Often fraudsters will put things in so that you are convinced that you're dealing with a local company: lots of nz iconography; using NZ URLs; you know, using local information; putting those kinds of things on the website so you think, 'That must be a local company,' but, of course, all of that stuff can be faked. So, Martin, what's the number-one mistake people make shopping online? Uh, they're in a hurry. I think, especially, when we talk about trading, I think people see an opportunity, and they wanna grab it, and they don't take the time to analyse whether it's a real opportunity or a fraud. Right, yeah. There's nothing on the website that you're looking at that'll tell you whether that's real or fake. Window shopping online can be just as easy as it is in the high street. There are ways to work out who's behind that .co.nz or dot-whatever if you know where to look. This is a Whois search. It's free. It tells you who registered the website. If it's legit, it should give you a name, a number and an address to deal with. Because Belinda had nada... There was just no one to answer our questions. Thebagpiper.co.nz is registered to a guy called Samson in South Australia, but that road doesn't exist there. The phone numbers start with an 8, not a 9 ` not looking too trustworthy; information Belinda could have used before she bought the shoes. I tried to cancel this order ` 'You sent us the wrong shoes anyway; I'd like a refund; um, you know, 'let me know what's going on.' And no reply. It was just, like, we paid for the shoes, they chucked us the shoes ` and be happy with it, I guess. Belinda's also been on to her bank to dispute the transaction. It looks like she'll get her money back. So that's another pro tip ` use a credit or debit card, never a bank transfer, unless you are very sure you're trading with a good sport and not a player. Now, we've been talking to Nike. They're having a bit of a sniff round those sneakers, if you see what I've done there. Pretty good comedy. Over to you. All right. Coming up ` to hang on or hang up? That's the predicament. Olympians, on your marks, get set, go! Have you had enough of irritating elevator music? I want to talk to a human. Do you really think your call is important to them? You have a great day there in the Philippines. The waiting game is over ` the call centre Olympics are about to begin. Do you know how long I've been waiting to talk to you? 1 Welcome back. And it's time to celebrate a win. Yes. Now, a couple of weeks back, we introduced you to Phil and Shirley Herbert. Mm-hm, a lovely couple who, out of the blue, found themselves under attack from a top-dressing pilot. Here's Matt. This was the day it rained fertiliser. Shirley and Phil Herbert caught the bombardment on camera, their Hawkes Bay home drenched in fertiliser, contaminating their water supply and causing huge headaches for the couple. I was just really worried. Honestly, I had no idea if, um, fertiliser has weed killer in it, cos it could. The pilot who sprayed the fertiliser wasn't keen to talk to the Herberts or us, and he certainly didn't seem interested in forking out for the $720 clean-up. Our story got loads of you fired up ` some of you in support of the Herberts. Maggie told us... Others weren't so empathetic, like Bernie, who says... Fortunately, not everyone agrees with Bernie. The head of New Zealand's Agricultural Aviation Association told us he was appalled at the pilot's actions, the organisation offering to pick up the cheque. Turns out he doesn't need to ` the aviator has since come good and paid the $720. So from the Herberts and their pooches, thank go, you fair. (LAUGHS) Matt Chisholm. We are very proud of him here at Fair Go. Now, look, if you've ever called a customer-service line, you'll be familiar with the phrase, 'Your call is important to us.' And then you wait. You will know the words, 'Your call will be answered shortly.' And then you wait some more. And you would have heard that comforting classic, 'Your call might be recorded for training purposes.' Now, it's a good thing they are recording, because, if you are anything like me, you get primed to unleash some expletive-laden feedback. So, from time to time we all have to ring a company, and today we want to find out who's the best, who's the worst, who makes you wait the longest and what sort of music they put on while you're waiting, cos we have to wait sometimes. What annoys me the most is, 'Your call is important to us. Please be patient. 'We will get to you as soon as we possibly can.' (LAUGHS) For some, it's the tunes. If I hear Dominion Road one more time, I will scream! For others, it's that endless, seemingly eternal wait. Work and Income. How long have you waited for them? An hour and a half. So do you hang on? Just sit there and hope for the best. (LAUGHS) You don't, like, put it on speaker and do some housework? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just put it on speaker and carry it round with me while I'm waiting. Or hang up? I got a call-back service, so that was pretty good. Oh, yeah, that's good when they do that. And then you can, like, hang up, and then they call you back when they're ready. That's really good. Right, the waiting game is over. We love helping big business with staff training. We are here to help, yeah. So we've unleashed our athletes for the 2017 Fair Go call-centre Olympics. ('EYE OF THE TIGER') They've come to conquer, to be the best of the best. They have active wear, but they're not athletes. # Eye of the tiger. # They're about to battle for supremacy,... if they can just get in the door. TVNZ in association with ` well, actually, we don't have a sponsor ` are proud to present the 2017 Fair Go call-centre Olympics. Wow. We've decided to put the telephone manners of five top New Zealand companies to the test. The rules are simple ` first to talk to a human wins. Anna Burns-Francis has Kiwibank, Matt Chisholm Spark, Hannah Wallis Westpac, Pippa Wetzell 2 Degrees and Garth Bray Vodafone. Olympians, on your marks, get set, go! One minute in, and we have problems. I didn't hear that. Please say or key in your access number or say, 'I don't have it. I don't have it. Anna and Kiwibank's automated system are getting to know each other. I want to talk to a human. While Garth and Vodafone have deeper issues. Oh, they've hung up. We'll try that again, shall we? All right, Garth's got a false start. Pippa and 2 Degrees are content. I've gone to just a general hold. I've got music playing. It's inoffensive. While Hannah is holding happily with Westpac. Just on music, but I am still holding for a human. You're hanging in there. I'm hanging in there. At the two-minute mark ` movement. Hello! Guys, I've got a human on the phone. Yeah, good afternoon. It's Matt Chisholm calling from Television New Zealand's Fair Go programme. Congratulations for answering the call. Gold medal for you. It'll be in the post. This is a time our call-centre athletes must dig deep. Congratulations. You've finally answered the phone. Westpac takes second, five minutes in. Then at 11 minutes, a flurry of action ` Vodafone steals third. Good on you, Vodafone. You have a great day there in the Philippines. With 2 Degrees picking up seconds later. Yeah, um, 2 Degrees. Uh, lovely girl. To be honest, she was pretty keen to get me off the phone, I think. (LAUGHS) Which leaves Anna Burns-Francis alone on a phone with Kiwibank. Still waiting. You know, I'm not worried about it. The music's getting better. Yeah. That's good. What have we got at the moment? 16 minutes and eight seconds. And at four minutes, they told me they'd be with me soon. We decided to have the medal ceremony without her. We couldn't wait. Then well past the half-an-hour mark, this happened. This is Anna calling from the Fair Go programme at TVNZ. How are you? I'm very well, thank you. I'm much better for having actually finally reached you. Do you know how long I've been waiting to talk to you? Kiwibank did call back later to apologise. It says the wait time was awful, but it is training extra staff, and so is Westpac, while the telcos say responding quickly to calls is one of their top priorities. So there's your final in the Fair Go call-centre Olympics, Spark the winners in a sparkling two minutes; Westpac, Vodafone and 2 Degrees mid table, with Kiwibank in overdraft at 34 minutes. Oh, fourth place. Such an effort. Such a trier! I won't lie ` I was a bit disappointed. I'm not competing in the Masters' Games, so I thought that was my chance at glory, but wasn't to be. We've got responses from all of those businesses as well on our Facebook page. You get a chance to redeem yourself next week ` we're gonna be phoning local and central government agencies. Mm-hm. So that is the show for tonight, but we will be on Facebook for the next half hour to answer your questions. As you know, our programme is all about your thoughts, your concerns, so please do contact us. Yes. Join us on Facebook, or you can email us ` fairgo@tvnz.co.nz Or you can write to us ` Private Bag 92038, Auckland 1142. That's our show. Until next week,... ...Goodnight.