1 I'm New Zealand's biggest fan. When is a Kiwi not a Kiwi? Keeps coming back to the passport, which I don't have. (CHUCKLES) Is this our oldest overstayer? Or have the bureaucrats really gone mad? Basically, I don't exist on paper. And... (DOG WHINES) ...man's best friend goes rogue. Is it a case of bad dog... Has had a bit of a chew here. ...or bad courier? He threw it over the fence. Plus ` keeping the home fires burning just a got a whole lot harder. Try again. Try again. Try again. Try again. If this match was made in heaven, there's no chance of it lighting anyone's fire. If you're buying a product, it needs to work. Copyright Able 2017 Kia ora. Welcome to the show. We lead tonight with a crazy case of bureaucracy gone mad. Liz Young is Kiwi as. For 55 years, she's called New Zealand home. In fact, during that time, she's hasn't left the North Island. Liz embodies that friendly, down-to-earth, 'she'll be right' Kiwi spirit, but lately, she's been feeling like a stranger in her own land. Here's Garth. (NEW ZEALAND NATIONAL ANTHEM PLAYS) What makes a Kiwi a Kiwi? And what makes a Kiwi a New Zealander? How long before you belong? And how would you prove you belong here? I feel like this is my home country. You're a Kiwi. I'm a Kiwi through and through. Just question-mark New Zealander? Yes. Yes. Liz Young reckons rain or shine, this beach on Auckland's North Shore is close to home for her and her husband Trevor. It's actually too nice for a jacket. I'm gonna get rid of this. Yes. Go on, then. You've turned the weather on. (LAUGHS) Mairangi Bay ` who knew? This is a bit of a celebration. Some Shrewsbury's for later, if you're good. Last week, Liz marked 55 years here in Godzone. She immigrated when she was almost 6 years old from the Isle of Man. You're in the middle of the Irish sea. You've got no protection. Mm. Gosh, it's cold. So, this seems like bliss. Why would you want to go anywhere else? And she hasn't. Never left the island? Never left North Island, no. Waiheke? I did go to Waiheke. Right. I've never been to Rangitoto Island. Liz remembers family holidays as far afield as Rotorua. She's never needed a passport; never even moved from the first house she bought. I love my home. She's given us five very happy Kiwis. Money was tight, overseas travel an unobtainable dream. The younger two, cos they're just under the autistic spectrum, and so it was up at the school all the time and trying to make sure they got a fair deal at school and got teacher's aides. So, I haven't really had time for travel. But, at least, they thought the system had them covered, until late last year when Liz had heart trouble. Rushed to hospital, she recovered just in time for another nasty surprise ` the bill. Nearly $1000. I thought, 'Oh, this is just a mistake,' and rang them up to clarify it. And I said, 'Well, I don't understand,' and they said, 'Oh, yes. Well, the policy's changed. They said, 'Oh, yes. Just bring your passport.' 'I don't have a passport.' 'What do you mean you don't have a passport? Well, can't you get another passport?' 'I've never held a passport. I've never travelled.' 'Oh.' Then you get passed to another department, you see. I mean, you become a` in the too hard basket. And I'm, like, well, it's too hard for me too. In 2011, the government set new rules for who qualifies for healthcare. Enforcement seems to have stepped up too. Last year, Waitemata District Health Board provided $4.1 million worth of treatment to ineligible patients. They say so far they've recovered about half. Waitemata District Health Board was being pretty decent. They put the charges on hold for a bit while Liz tried to work it out, but they told her she would have to pay unless she could prove her eligibility. Which took Liz to Immigration New Zealand and a parallel universe where she just didn't seem to exist. So, on this application I have to fill out, it says I have to prove I have been living here in New Zealand since 1974, I think it is, and not left the country. But you've actually been here longer. Yeah, I have. But it's like, how do you prove that? How do you prove that? They suggested birth certificates of all my children. The list seemed absurd to Liz. I have to provide a school report or a` (CHUCKLES) a power bill from back then. A power bill? Which of course I've got a shoe box full of them, don't I (?) (CHUCKLES) It keeps coming back to the passport, which I don't have. Because you've never been anywhere. I've never been anywhere. Quite happy here, thank you. I've never needed` Yes. Yeah. I'm New Zealand's biggest fan. You're possibly New Zealand's biggest overstayer as well. (LAUGHS) It was more than just the run-around. Liz was getting anxious talking to immigration. At the end of the conversation, she said, 'I'm not guaranteeing anything.' And I was like, 'What does that mean?' 'Well, we can't guarantee that you'll still qualify` you'll still be eligible to get that letter.' 'Basically, I don't exist on paper is what you're saying.' She said, 'Basically.' And I'm like... Go commit a crime. I'm like... (ALL LAUGH) Trevor was born here. He can't understand why after all this time it's up to him and Liz to prove she's also a Kiwi. I'm sure they've got records. If they wanted to prove something, they could prove it. Why does she have to do all of the running around? We'll, we're going to help with that running around. Investigation's our game. It's back to school for me. Glendowie College, 1971. Elizabeth Boyd ` no E. Wait, here she is Boyde with an E. I need a photo. This proves she was here before 1974. (CAMERA LENS CLICKS) I've also picked up some other public documents that may help. So, Liz, this here is all you've got to prove that you've been here all along? That's right. That's the lot. That's the lot. I've been looking a bit harder, so we've got a few bits and pieces like your title documents for your house. Yes. You've been on the electoral roll since 1982. Oh, right there. So that's all right. We've got a whole bunch of them stacked away there. This is, like, the last year at school in 1972. Wow. Gosh. I don't even have that. Faye Bristow ` she was my best friend. Isn't it funny? We pulled these out. Now, can you pick you there? Can you pick you out of the line-up? How did you get these? I don't know that I'm in this photo. I thought I had ya. I thought this was you here. No. And that might be you here. Nope. And then, that might be you here? (CHUCKLES) No. I had bangs when I was at Glendowie College. Lucky we had more than old photos to show Liz. There was this brand-new letter. Can you read it out? READS: 'The DHB has looked into Liz's situation, 'and we are very sympathetic. It is clear that she has lived in New Zealand for more than 50 years 'and should be considered eligible for free healthcare.' They've decided on compassionate grounds to get rid of that invoice. Thank you. And I kinda think that you probably won't be seeing another one again next time you go. Wonderful! You'd like to think, anyway. I hope so. I hope you're watching there, WDHB. Well done. Yes. Oh, great. That's a nice result. And Liz, if you like the North Shore, you're gonna love the South Island. So, after 50 years, I think you should give it a try. Yes, but don't celebrate too soon ` every silver lining has a cloud. The bad news is Liz might have to repeat this battle in five years when she goes for a pension. Here's Garth. It's 55 years last week since Liz stepped off the SS Canberra at Princes Wharf. I was 6 years old. We just arrived here. I got whacked into school. That was that. Bizarrely, she must now prove she's never left, but should she have to? Seems like a bureaucratic reaction they've got. Matt Robson here knows this stuff, as a lawyer and a former minister in the Labour-Alliance Government. He says there's plenty of precedent to apply some common sense. It shouldn't be an obstacle race for her. It should be that the particular government agencies go out of their way for this unusual case to assist her. Don't give her any more grief, any more difficulty. Make it simple ` it is simple. And, in fact, it would be a very nice thing to do, a very human thing to do. All of this paperwork tells her story, and the humans at Immigration New Zealand are listening. Late last week, Liz sat down with a senior official who's promising some swift answers. Liz is sure they'll be the right ones. I feel like this is my home country. All my family are here. I have many friends here. I've made a good life here. I'm very happy here. An update ` we have just heard from Immigration New Zealand, and I have good news. They have confirmed her residency status, so actually, Liz now is a resident. No worries about hospital fees, no worries about her pension. Great news and common sense. Good. Now, we're all very familiar with the saying 'the customer is always right,' but is it really true? Or, more specifically, is it true when it comes to incorrect price tags? (ED SHEERAN'S 'SHAPE OF YOU') It's a good day for giving away money, but will we be parting with Fair Go cash as we ask the final question in our Fair Go True False quiz? If a product has the wrong price on it, the retailer is obligated to sell it to you at that price. What do you reckon, Nelson ` true or false? BOTH: True. Um... I would say that's true. The retailer can honour it, but whether he actually has to or not, I don't know. I'll say false. I'll go for true. True. See, I've heard about this. I think it's an urban myth. Yeah. True. I'm gonna go false. False. I think you can come to some kind of arrangement. True. True. So, a lot of you are picking true for this one. Find out if you're right shortly. I've got this. Don't worry, New Zealand. Worry, New Zealand. The price is the price. It's legally binding and morally the right thing to do, so the price is the price. OK. We're gonna have the answer for you a little bit later on` That was the answer. But coming up after the break ` dogged by bad luck or bad couriers? So, they've had a bit of a chew here. First it was the bag. And then the boots. Stevie's had a really good go at these, hasn't she? But is this pooch really to blame? Some choice words coming out of my mouth. And... Try again. Try again. Try again. Safety matches that don't light. Talk about a bad buzz. If you're buying a product, it needs to work. Welcome back. Digging, barking, chewing ` all natural behaviour for a dog. So, when I was a kid, of course, I had a big problem with the dog chewing through my homework. I'd slave all weekend on a 'pet project' only for it to become a chew toy. Yeah, I don't think anyone believed you then and no one believes you now. Very studious. Big dog. However, cushions, seatbelts, socks, shoes and rubber duckies have all fallen victim to man's best friend, but is the dog always to blame? Here's Hannah. Debbie. (CHUCKLES) Gidday. Hi! I hear you've got a dog here that can rip things from limb to limb? Sure do. Safe to come in? Sure. Come on in. All right. Won't be a moment. Right now, Debbie's dogs look pretty docile, but they love a good chew, and what's good to chew on? What did you like about the handbag? The tassels. Yep. You're a bit of a tassel queen, are you? All right. (CHUCKLES) Oh yeah. Yep. This daggy doggy story starts with this bag bought on the web and couriered to Debbie's house by Fastway Couriers. They sent it to me, and instead of leaving a card to call, which normally courier companies do, he threw it over the fence, and then my dog got it. And the handbag still bears the scars. Debbie's done her best. As you can see, there's bits missing. Oh, OK. So they've had a bit of a chew here. Oh yep. And I've had to sew that up. She's chewed on that too. Now, let me ask you, Debbie ` not to be critical or anything, but could you not have found some black thread? That was black when I first started. It's been sitting in the sun. I try. I try. Debbie contacted Fastway to say next time, beep at the gate. If no one's home, leave a card to redeliver or they could have done this... So, just looking at the mail box ` plenty of room in there, isn't there? Yes, there is. So, you could easily fit, say, a half a package in there. This dog ` Dung Dung ` despite the unfortunate name, isn't a problem, but this one ` Stevie, after Stevie Nicks ` is just 9 months old and full of beans, and if someone throws something over the fence... She was a bit camera-shy to start with, but before to long... You can probably see where this is going. Another internet purchase, another Fastway courier. Well, it was actually my 40th birthday party, so I wanted the boots before my party. What did you like about the boots? The sheepskin lining, suede, just the way the boot looks. Just` It was everything I wanted. And then what happened with the boots? Same thing. (CHUCKLES) The courier turned up, and instead of beeping or leaving a card to call, he just threw it over the fence. Where the dogs were waiting. I went round to the back of the house and found Stevie with my boots, covered in mud, fluff everywhere, (CHUCKLES) and some choice words coming out of my mouth. Stevie's had a really good go at these, hasn't she? The boots. Indeed. Yeah. She's just carried it in the mud. Debbie again told Fastway what had happened. It's almost too much for a dog, isn't it? Someone throws something over the fence, what are you supposed to do? I couldn't tell the dog off, cos it's not her fault. With her handbag, Debbie put it all down to experience, but this time, she put in a claim to Fastway to cover the boots and the courier. It wasn't for much. $27. That was back in June. Three months later, she's still waiting for Fastway. That's all I keep hearing is, 'Oh, it's with the claims department. It's with the claims department.' Well, what's going on? Debbie says she just wants the couriers to use common sense. Fastway need to teach their drivers that they need to leave a card to call instead of just throwing things over the fence. Especially a fence that's got 'Beware of the dog' on it. Exactly! Do you think that should have been a bit of a clue? (CHUCKLES) It should have been. (CHUCKLES) Do you know what would annoy me? Getting my tasselled handbag eaten by my own dog. That would annoy me. But also customer service that don't get back to you after a few months. That would drive me crazy. Yes. So, what have Fastway got to say about all this? Well, quite a bit, actually. Well, first and foremost, I'd like to sincerely apologise to Debbie for this unfortunate incident. We've had people make some bad choices in how they've handled Debbie's incident. In this case, it was two people not doing their jobs correctly ` the courier and the customer service agent. Fastway says the courier should have left Debbie's bag and boots in a safe and secure place. This was not a safe and secure place to leave these packages. Correct. We also have policies in place where the couriers are not to put themselves in harm's way, ie, if there's a dog on the property, leave a card to call. And that didn't happen, and the courier made a judgement call and left the parcel over the fence. Do you know why the courier did this not once but twice? He made a bad decision and a bad choice. Two bad decisions. Absolutely. And whatever happened to Debbie's claim for the boots? So, the instruction from the company was given to lodge the claim and make compensation because we'd done wrong, and we needed to put it right. Unfortunately, the staff member handling that case didn't follow through with that instruction. Three months to wait, though ` not good enough. Not good enough at all. Thanks to Debbie, changes are afoot. We're gonna make it easier for customers receiving goods to lodge a claim with our company when things go wrong. Also ` thanks to Debbie ` from next month, the company will contact the parcel receiver to ask, 'When can we deliver your parcel, and where should we leave it?' You've made an apology to Debbie. How did that go? Listen, as well as you can expect. I've actually said thank you for actually laying the complaint and taking it further, because it highlights for us where we've got it so wrong and where we can get it right. Can I just say ` Fastway Couriers, thumbs up. Double thumbs up. Mm-hmm. Double thumbs up. That is how you get things done with customers. That's how you make it right. Exactly. And next week, we're starting a new series about how to complain when you have a problem. I am terrible at complaining. I am looking forward to that. Right. Coming up after the break ` we get to play with fire. Try again. Try again. Try again. Why is there such a bad buzz around these Beehives? I was thinking, 'Come on, burn.' And is the customer always right? I've heard about this. I think it's an urban myth. If a shop gets the price wrong, do they really have to take it on the chin? What do you reckon, Nelson ` true or false? Welcome back. Over 1 million years ago, our ancestors learned how to tame fire. Were you around for that? (CHUCKLES) Anyway, luckily, these days we don't have to rub two sticks together or carry a pocket full of flint, because we have ` ta-da, matches! You remember matches. Yes, but are these safety matches a little too safe? Here's Anna. You know the saying, three strikes, you're out. Well, turns out it can take a lot more than that to get a fire going. I tried to strike the match and it wouldn't go, and I thought, 'Oh that's OK. 'Try again. Try again. Try again. Try again. Try again.' So Louisa Allwood did try again ` by the box. So I threw that box in, started another one and then after a couple I thought, 'I don't think it's me.' Louisa lights a fire a day, and the day we visited was no different. But this winter, she's had trouble actually getting the damn thing to go. Some would go and some wouldn't. Hey, it's not hard. I even tried lighting some of the matches from the gas stove and they wouldn't take. (LAUGHS) I was thinking, 'Come on, burn!' Still nothing? No. # Burn, baby, burn. Louisa had bought a multipack of your standard Beehive brand matches ` there's no expiry date visible ` so she rang the company to let them know she was burning through dozens just to try and keep warm. I said, 'They won't light.' She did say, 'Somebody will get back to you.' And they didn't. But where there's smoke, there's fire and the Beehive New Zealand Facebook page has got a few other complaints about the quality of its matches. Beehive told us it aims to produce matches that are 'safe and reliable.' And that failure to ignite 'is not necessarily a result of the production process.' They've asked for Louisa's remaining matches to be sent back. The complaint will be fully investigated. Meanwhile Louisa waits for the results, and she's had to find another way to keep the home fires burning. OK, we've tried rubbing sticks together. That was a bit hard. But the magnifying glass and the paper here on a sunny day is fantastic. I nearly burnt my hand the other day. I was holding it, and we were laughing and blowing on it. It seems there aren't many solutions that can match a match. Louisa would just like to see them strike it right ` first time. We do rely on matches. I know they're not expensive, they're relatively reasonably priced, but if you're buying a product, it needs to work. So, Beehive are gonna go off and do some investigating, and they're gonna tell Anna their results. And when Anna knows, you'll know. Exactly. Right. Time to reveal the answer to the fifth and final question of our true or false challenge. Now, dedicated followers will know... Or anyone, in fact. You got that last one wrong,... Yes, well... ...which means you are now out of the running for that $20 prize, but there are still some in with a chance. (ED SHEERAN'S 'SHAPE OF YOU') Final week of our True False challenge, and there's still some people in the running to win large. Well, maybe not that large. Our last question is 'If a product has the wrong price on it, 'the retailer is obligated to sell it to you at that price.' (BOTH CHUCKLE) See, this is` Legally, I don't know. But that's a good guess because the answer is false. This is good news for Beth because... You're right, and you actually got them all right. Oh, Beth! - Which means` Which means` Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - (APPLAUSE IN BACKGROUND) Oh. Oh. There is a big-money prize. (GASPS) $20. WOMAN: Yay! (LAUGHS) Seriously? Seriously. Yay! Was I wrong? Again. Wow. Yes. But we had a winner, which is great. And I have to say ` it's not about the money, it's about the glory. It's always` Yeah, OK, the glory. Now, parents, teachers ` it's time to crack the whip cos time is fast running out to get your Ad Award entries in. And this year's theme is an absolute doozy ` make the '70s groovy again. Dig it? (THE BEE GEE'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER') Ooh, yeah. We're getting our groove on for the '70s, a time when bigger was most definitely better. # Listen to the ground. There is movement all around. # There is something goin' down... Well, except for men's shorts, of course. Fortunately, if you had a gripe about pint-sized pants, there was a new show to turn to. Over the past year, we've unearthed some major rip-offs and some minor rip-offs. That's right, the 1970s saw the birth of Fair Go. So, to celebrate 40th, we want you to make the '70s cool again. And we have some amazing prize packs up for grabs. The winning schools will get thousands of dollars worth of Canon goodies ` an interactive learning suite that includes a smart board and a Canon projector; two ` that's right, two Canon digital DSLR cameras with lenses, plus a couple of accessory packs and a printer. On top of that, there's $2000 in cash, and that makes the first prizes worth more than $10,000. Sound good? Second and third place winners are also looked after. Second spot will get the latest Canon digital video camera and $500 cash. Third place will also receive the latest Canon digital video camera. So that's a total prize package of over $22,000. Go Canon. So, kids, it's time to cook up some ideas, tune in your imagination and get your sky-high dancing shoes on because the Kids' Ad Awards clock is now ticking. Stubbies ` so comfortable. So` I don't know if you need to keep on wearing them, though. Stylish and comfort. So, remember ` the maximum duration is 30 seconds, and the deadline is 5pm, Friday the 29th of September. That's this Friday. All entries are to be submitted online. Go to our website tvnz.co.nz and search Fair Go, or our Facebook page. That is the show for today, but we'll be on Facebook for the next half hour to answer your questions. Our programme is all about your gripes and your grumbles, which I'm sure you've got a couple, so please do contact us. Yes. Join us on Facebook or you can email us ` fairgo@tvnz.co.nz or write to us ` Private Bag 92038, Auckland 1142. That's our show. Until next week, po marie. Copyright Able 2017