1 (UPBEAT MUSIC) Tonight ` we go back in time. What do you remember of the 1970s, Cheryl? You don't really want to know. They say it's the decade taste forgot. I had a pet orangutan. You had a pet orangutan in the '70s? I did. Our challenge to the kids of New Zealand was to make it cool again. Mos, bros and afros, and an OSH-approved method of getting over an electric fence. Stubbies! So you don't get your gonad sack. We even get in on the act. It's television wherever you are ` on the john. With John. And why wouldn't we? It was 1977 when Fair Go began. Have you ever dropped the Fair Go name to get something sorted? Couple of times I sort of mention that it could be a Fair Go affair. (LAUGHS) Copyright Able 2017 Kia ora, and welcome to a very special show. Tonight we celebrate the creativity of Kiwi kids and four decades of Fair Go. Now, we are hoping to go back to the '70s, but our time machine, well, we didn't read the warranty, so it's dumped us back in 1984, which is good, cos it's on the set of the Pleasuredome musical. Close enough, I reckon. Pretty good, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Now, this show is all about the past. If you grew up in the '70s ` this is the story of your life. If you didn't ` you might learn something. Here's Matt. (NORMAN GREENBAUM'S 'SPIRIT IN THE SKY') It was a tumultuous time... as black and white gave way to colour, the Vietnam War ended and the Cold War got colder. The world gave rise to a new generation that channelled confidence, not caution, not conformity. # When I die and they lay me to rest. The 1970s were many things, but boring wasn't one of them. # When I lay me down to die. # Goin' up to the spirit in the sky. What do you remember about the 1970s, Cheryl? You don't really want to know, do you? (CHUCKLES) Oh, I do, actually, now that you've said that. Oh, I was so loose, I didn't know how to come home. (LAUGHS) I was swinging through the trees with an orangutan, mate. (LAUGHS) Some would say it's the decade that taste forgot. I had a pet orangutan, had a pet gibbon in my time. You had a pet orangutan in the '70s? I did. Orangutans aside ` there were big 'fros, funky threads and far-out fads. What was the fashion like in the '70s? You're looking at it. (LAUGHS) Short skirts, big hair. They were great. They were great. Yeah. I don't know why we changed. I don't know why we did either. As Elvis Presley left the building for the last time, pop culture embraced funk, punk and disco. BEE GEES: # I feel the night fever. # We know how to do it. # And one film, one man, one dance move fed our Saturday Night Fever. Do you wanna bust out your disco dance? Yeah, I'd love to. Go for it. (BOTH LAUGH) I better not at the moment ` might get arrested. (LAUGHS) What's your signature disco dance move now? I'm not gonna show you. Why not? Not now, not ever. Certainly not in the middle of the street. Yeah, that's it. That's it. John Travolta. What have you got, Ellie? This is the one I could master. It was the... # Controlling my mind and my soul. # Whoo! That is golden! (BOTH LAUGH) There were sensational sounds, flamboyant fashion and a Hollywood space race. Space became our cinematic safe place. The ocean... not so much. (JAWS THEME SONG) Duh-nun, duh-nun. You do it so well. Three, two, one, Cheryl. BOTH: Duh-duh, duh-duh. Jaws was probably one of the scariest movies that came out at the time. Do you go swimming in the sea now? Never. Never. (BOTH LAUGH) # Drink yourself more bliss. # For the stay-home types, there was plenty to watch ` Charlie's Angels. Wonder Woman. And in 1977, a new show called Fair Go. We've unearthed some major rip-offs and some minor rip-offs. Have you ever dropped the Fair Go name to get something sorted? Couple of times I sort of mentioned that it could be a Fair Go affair. (LAUGHS) Looking out for the little guy, always, and that's the Kiwi thing, isn't it? # How bizarre. So here's to the 1970s. # How bizarre, how bizarre. Famous for flares, the rise of disco, lurid furniture, silly hairstyles, economic struggle and cultural change. # Every time I look around. # Oh, good times. Oh, great decade. Some amazing things came out of the '70s, like Mr and Mrs Jones had a night in. (LAUGHS) Don't. Don't go there. Don't go there. This year's challenge was for the nation's primary and secondary school kids to take something from the '70s and make it cool again. And boy, did you guys do well. Here's Anna. It was the decade of superpowers, space exploration and spinning disco balls. Have you ever wanted the best moves on the dance floor? Bow-bow! The hit favourite ` anything from ABBA. # You are the dancing queen. # Young and sweet... But it wasn't just slick dance moves for sale. There was fashion for all ages ` tie dye and bell bottoms. # You can dance. # You can jive. # And some questionable fashion choices. Stubbies! So you don't get your gonad sack. Stubbies! Stubbies! They've been around since ages ago. Now available for girls. It wasn't just groovy gear ` personal appearance was a popular ad choice. So, what are you looking for today? Whatever's trending at the moment. BOTH: Oh yeah. Afros, mullets and mos groomed to perfection. BOTH: Bringing back the mullet. And of course, a ride to match. The classic Holden with additional airbags. You're right on time. Ah, yes. It was all meant to be a bit of fun. It's silly! And it's (SLOWLY) twirly. And we got plenty of ads showing 1970s games reinvented for today. Solve the colours by making it twist. Forget devices. Play the fun-filled ultimate game of Trouble. Including... BOTH: Pet rocks. It's a pet rock. He isn't just a rock ` he's my pet. Comes in all shapes and sizes. So be a hero and adopt your pet rock today. ALL: It's a Celeb Rock. Others took a new twist on old things. Classroom vending machine! Just type in what you want and it'll dispense what you desire. ALL: # Just one look... But there was one thing the best in the bunch had in common ` a soundtrack to last the ages. # Whoa-oh-oh-oh. Mamma mia. # Here I go again. # My, my, how can I resist you? # Oh, love a bit of ABBA. I don't really remember them. I was hardly born in the '70s. I was so young. (LAUGHS) Hardly. Like, really late '70s. All right. Coming up after the break, the Fair Go 'Amateur Dramatic Society' is back in action. It's television wherever you are ` on the john. With John. Haydn goes solo and takes on the entire Fair Go team in our own creative challenge. And our celebrity judges get down to business. It was single-handedly the weirdest thing I've witnessed in quite a while. Who will take out this year's Kids' Ad Awards? Drum roll, please. We cannot find a hard surface. (LAUGHS) 1 Welcome back. Every now and then, an ad comes along that you can't get out of your head. Yeah. Whether they're good, bad or cringe-worthy ` they can stay in the memory bank for a very long time. And the '70s had more than its fair share of memorable advertising moments. Here's Garth. Do your own navigating next time! A bit of casual sexism. He says I've got bad breath. Don't worry. My boyfriend once told me that, so I changed to Colgate Dental Cream. Good, honest obesity. # While Hugo and I were having none # in the backseat. We sat getting thinner. # And homemade heroes. # Hokey Pokey bar. # Golden Crunchie Hokey Pokey bar. # Ah, the '70s. # Dad stopped the car, and Hugo said, 'You go,' # and I said, 'No, you go.' # When being bigger was not only better ` it was a genuine sales tactic. He's got a cold. But he knows Coldrex will make sure the show goes on. It was time before P addicts had ruined getting a cold and a quick remedy. It goes on working while you do. On the other hand... It was an era when photos meant a trip to the chemist's as well to develop them. ...so real, I almost look alive. Well, almost. Almost as good as this deal. Air New Zealand brings back the good old days of Fiji. Where a night in a hotel costs you about as much as an Uber to the airport does now. Your choice of nine resort hotels. # Different faces. # Many races. It was in black and white until 1973 ` mostly white, actually, with notable exceptions, like this ad. # Look at the things that make life what it is today. # When colour arrived, then a second channel... You'll go a long, long way in the Datsun 120Y. ElnaPress ` a new concept for an old chore. More of us than ever before we watching the ads. Skoda can give you the best of both worlds. Nature Fresh Green Apple shampoo has a crisp, clean fragrance. Was it because we hadn't invented fast forward yet? Nope. Some of these were classics ` the best thing on the box. # Golden Crunchie Hokey Pokey bar. # I'd like to just officially apologise on behalf of the Fair Go programme for putting those tunes in your head for probably the next week. They will be. So, how has 'Generation Now' coped with making the decade taste forgot cool again? Hannah joins this year's judges as they sort the best from the rest. She's a big job sorting the hits from the misses. Too tough for us, in fact, so we called on the very best to help. Angela Bloomfield ` famous for her work on and off screen. I would buy that. And ZM radio host, Vaughan Smith. But I'm easily impressed by flips, as a non-flipper. Fuelled and fed, we let them loose on the ads, starting with the secondary school entries. Pet rock can be your new best friend. I love my pet rock so much. That was great. Great energy. Hard sell, the pet rock in 2017. Fly around freely in the sky. Just remember to watch our for... planes. Production quality ` tick, tick, tick. Pretty good. Yep. Talk to your friends in the comfort of your own home. That looked and sounded great. I mean, their treatment of it was so good, it fooled me into thinking they were actually using 1980s technology to make their ad. RIHANNA: # Desperado. # Sittin' in a old Monte Carlo. # It was edgy and.... Yeah. It was like a music video. It felt like an ad for jeans. I will pull them up on the Woodstock footage. It was 1969. Oh no. And they were selling us on the '70s. But is there that thing where New Zealand gets something` that we get things a little bit later? Well, we got Woodstock three years after Woodstock happened, so... Yeah. (GUNSHOTS, EXCLAIMING) Now, what's good? (KAZOO PLAYS) It was single-handedly the weirdest thing I've witnessed in quite a while. It was like a mini film. It made me laugh. It was entertaining. It made me feel like I want a canoe` uh, kazoo. And a canoe. Canoes, kazoos and teachers bottoms ` our finalists really did have something for everyone. When those guys turned around, I went, 'Wow, they look, like, really old high school kids.' And then I went, 'Don't judge.' That's the kid at high school that you sent into the liquor store. Yeah. Then it was the younger kids turn in the primary and intermediate category. I don't know if I was expecting this level of creativity from the younger kids. # East bound and down. Loaded up and truckin'. # I really liked. I thought it was great. Yep. (FOURMYULA'S 'NATURE') Oh wow. That was cool. Kind of had that nostalgic nudge. It made me feel like I wanna have a go on a potter's wheel. (LED ZEPPELIN'S 'IMMIGRATION SONG') An ad for the ghetto blaster featuring a large orange disco puppet. Yeah, so it kept you intrigued. You're mocking me. Am I? Are you? I like the kind of ad vibe it has about it. Knitting as a resell are hard. What? It didn't go away. I knit. 25 of the best done and dusted, leaving just one other thing. So, first place for the Fair Go Ad Awards 2017. Drum roll, please. We cannot find a hard surface. (LAUGHS) Oh! I thought she was gonna tell us the winners. Jeez. Maybe later on. Stick around. Later on, yes. Also coming up after the break ` we lift the curtain on a Fair Go 'Amateur Dramatic Society' performance. Everyone wants freedom. # I'm free fallin'. # Can the entire Fair Go team beat my creative genius? It's television wherever you are ` on the john. With John. Well, it's tough. And we ambush the winners of this year's Kids' Ad Awards. You didn't just make the finals ` you won! (CHEERING) 1 Welcome back. The moment of truth is nearly upon us. Who is going to take out this year's Kids' Ad Awards? We are, of course, Pippa, celebrating the creativity of Kiwi kids. We are. But we couldn't help but get in on the action ourselves. MARVIN GAYE: # I've been really trying, baby. # Trying to hold back this feeling for so long. # And if you feel like I feel, baby. # Come on. # Oh, come... # (MUSIC SLOWS) (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC) WOMAN VOICEOVER: Do it like they did in the seventies. Go car-less for a day. Wow, great ad (!) Thank you. You must've have had a massive budget (!) Good cast, even though there was one cast member missing. Oh, Haydn, you will get your turn later. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline, which means I'm out of the running for the prizes, which, thanks to Canon, are absolutely amazing. The winners of the primary and secondary divisions get ` an interactive learning suite that includes a smart board and a canon projector. Two canon DSLR cameras with lenses. A couple of accessory packs and a printer. Also $2000 in cash, which is a big also. Yes. But wait, there's more, because second place will get the latest Canon digital video camera and $500 cash. Third place will also receive the latest Canon digital video camera. That's a total prize package of over $20,000. Canon ` thumbs up. Good job. Yes. Now, the top three finalists for the primary school division, in no particular order, are Whakatane Intermediate, Lynmore Primary and Diocesan School for Girls. Silence, girls. Examination in progress. No talking, calculators, food or cheat notes. (DOOR CREAKS) (SNEAKY MUSIC) Remember pet rocks from years ago? Kids took them to school. Came with its own manual on how to look after it ` such as how to brush their hair and how to feed them. They're back. Fully compatible with all the technology of today. Connecting Roto Rock on social media and completely wireless linking to Apple iCloud so you never lose your rocks. Comes with an app to connect you to other rocks and Bluetooth, along with notifications. Roto Rocks are fully codeable and will make any coding instruction. Roto Rocks ` get your reinvented pet rock today! Mr Jones, something is wrong with our school. (TENSE MUSIC) Make the call. Hello. Danger Squad. We'll be on our way. (FUNKY MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) Phew! Good ads, tough choices. I'm glad I'm not a judge. No, I wouldn't want that job. But I did get a good job, because I got the pleasure of breaking the good news to the winning primary school. The quality was high; the competition tough, but one primary school ad really caught the judges' eyes. That's right. Lynmore Primary in Rotorua is our winning school, and I'm here to tell them. You didn't just make the finals ` you won! (CHEERING) Just surprised. Great. It's awesome. Good to hear that we were in the finals. But to actually win, yeah, very exciting. This is life-changing. Pet rocks made a real comeback in this competition. We received a stack of ads making this quirky relic from the '70s cool again. But Lynmore Primary stood out for really modernising the idea. They're back. Fully compatible with all the technology of today. The idea of doing the Fair Go Ad Award was to go give them an authentic learning situation that they could actually put their skills to practise. It was a lot of work, but they thought it was cool. They're very talented kids. They're very clever kids. Who've won their school some pretty epic prizes. $2000! (KIDS EXCLAIM EXCITEDLY) These kids brought the pet rock into this century. Now they have the chance to get even more tech-y, thanks to Canon. ALL: Yay! But for now they're opting for a more traditional celebration. (ALL PERFORM HAKA) Well done, Lynmore Primary. You rocked it. ALL: Lynmore rocks! Well done, Lynmore. Great kids. Yep. Now second prize went to Diocesan School for Girls and their clever take on bell bottoms. And Whakatane Intermediate took third prize with their creative Danger Squad ad. Now to the awkward bit. Sharp-eyed viewers will have noticed I didn't get a part in Pippa's ad, so I decided to go solo. Everyone wants freedom. # I'm free fallin'! Whoa. It's a Micro TV. Freedom. Hm. You just need an extension cord. You just need two extension cords. It's television wherever you are ` on the john. With John. On the john with John. In the car ` as long as the car isn't moving. # Cos I'm free... # It's the Micro television. Freedom. Extension cords not included. Oh-ho. Powerful. Wasn't it powerful? (LAUGHS) It was a very good ad. Were you not moved? I was. Unfortunately, the music in your ad was from 1989. That's OK, isn't it? No, and it was 32 seconds long. What? And, as you know, we are very strict on durations, so you too are out of the running. They'll be an enquiry. This hardly seems fair. But I doubt that my work would have stood up anyway to the competition, because the top three finalists in this year's secondary division, in no particular order, are outstanding. Take a look at Hamilton Girls High School, Selwyn College and Chanel College. # If you were mine, # I'd make you smile # with all my foolish ways. # Like light to dark # would make a start. # You're so hot that I melted. I fell... # # Cos there's a thousand ways and a thousand times # that I could try to say... # Don't stop. Ring pop. (FUNKY ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) Texting, touch screen, WiFi. All of these features and more are missing from the new '70s-inspired landline. Talk to your friends in the comfort of your own home. There's guaranteed network coverage ` as long as you're at home. And when you're done, just hang up. Simple! Tired of running out of battery? Not a problem with the new wall socket function. So come on down and grab yourself a landline. It's your calling. (ALL LAUGH) Now, without any ado, it's my turn to surprise this year's winner with the good news. Ye-ah! That's the one, eh? The students at Chanel College love the camera, which is why we snuck in and waited. I'm just checking my shares ` my share update. We were waiting for Mrs Hills. She'd organised the winners and an audience for us. (APPLAUSE) Is that for me? It's for you! Is the applause for me or him? Was that for you? no idea we're here for him. Is there a Logan aro` You're Logan! (LAUGHTER) He's right here. Come up here, Logan. Did you make a movie? Uh, yes, I did. Did you have any help? Yeah, I did. Should we get your crew up? Oh, here she comes. She's late. And here we go. It says that in 2017, the winners of the Fair Go Kids' Ad Awards are Chanel College. Congratulations! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) I think Logan had a Richie McCaw moment. Whoo! (LAUGHS) But we weren't finished. James, you hold that ` you can be the reporter. I'll just be back. I won't be a second. Huh? (LAUGHTER) Logan, do you like cameras? Yes. Great. Well, I got you one. Oh! Do you know what's better than one camera? Two cameras. Oh! (LAUGHTER) I'll be back. Can you hold this? The fun was just beginning. (ALL EXCLAIM) Pixma printer ` could you do something with this? Probably. An amazing projector. Whoa! Look out. Oh, hold on. Oh, hold on. Cool. That's why we've got editing. Plenty of editing. (LAUGHTER) Not sure what these are, but they'll be really, really handy. (LAUGHTER) Wait a second. I'll be back. (LAUGHTER) More? Oh my God. Oh! (EXCITED CHATTER) Um, I'm not sure what it says. Chanel College. You guys are Chanel College, eh? Drum roll. Whoo! READS: Chanel College ` $2000. (EXCLAIMING) How you doing now, Logan? Um, over the moon. (LAUGHS) All in all, it's worth over $10,000, so congratulations. Whoo! Logan didn't win the World Cup, but it sure felt like he did. Now that is a happy man. Well done, Logan. That's awesome. Second place went to Hamilton Girls High School for their take on stubbies. And Selwyn College won third place for ring pops. Fantastic stuff. And a huge thanks to Canon ` once again, you have come through with an epic prize package. Mm-hm. So that's it for 2017. We're having a break over the Christmas and New Year period, but it's back to business in February. Our programme is always about your problems, your thoughts, your concerns. Keep those complaints coming in over the summer. Yes. We're on Facebook, or you can email us ` fairgo@tvnz.co.nz, or write to us... I'm gonna get you a hot dog. But in the meantime, that's our show. Until next year, po marie.