THANKS, SIMON, WENDY AND DAN. IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I HAVE SOME YELLOW ELECTRICAL TAPE ROUND MY ARM, I'M WEARING THIS ARMBAND TO MOURN THE DEATH OF AUSTRALIAN SPORTSMANSHIP IN CRICKET. EVERYONE'S PILED IN, SO I THOUGHT I WOULD TO. WHAT A FASCINATING COUPLE OF DAYS IT'S BEEN IN THE WORLD OF SPORT! MORE ON THAT IN A FEW MINUTES. ALSO TONIGHT, MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE ASKING HOW TO DELETE FACEBOOK. BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO UNFRIEND THEM COMPLETELY, HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR DATA SECURE? MOST OF THESE APPS THAT WE'RE USING EVERY DAY, DATA SHARING IS THE REASON WHY THEY'RE FREE FOR YOU TO USE. PLUS ` WE MEET A POLICE OFFICER WHO'S SELLING TICKETS, RATHER THAN ISSUING THEM. AND SHE'S NO ONE-TRICK PONY ` WE'RE IN WAIMATE, A LONG WAY FROM ALASKA, AS SARAH PALIN TROTS FOR THE LAST TIME AFTER A STELLAR SEVEN-YEAR CAREER. CAPTIONS BY FAITH HAMBLYN AND JAMES BROWN. CAPTIONS WERE MADE WITH THE SUPPORT OF NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2018. HI, EVERYONE. LOVELY TO HAVE YOU WITH US. IF YOU'RE AN AUSSIE CRICKET FAN, CONDOLENCES. YOUR TEAM'S DIGNITY IS SOMEWHERE UNDER THE DESK. JEREMY'S TAKING IT HARD. NOTHING BETTER THAN SEEING HYPOCRITICAL AUSTRALIAN SPORTSPEOPLE EXPOSED, PARTICULARLY WHEN THEY AVERAGE 61.37. STEVE sMITH DOES. ROOKIE OPENER CAMERON BANCROFT ` USING TAPE OR SANDPAPER? THE ARGUMENT WAS HE WAS GOING TO USE TAPE AND rOBERT ON THE BALL? You don't need a piece of tape to do that. It doesn't seem right. Later on I will show you how it looks with sandpaper. I think it is sandpaper. LET'S FACE IT, THOUGH ` TOP PLAYERS HAVE BEEN TRYING TO ROUGH UP THE BALL SINCE ADAM WAS AT FIRST LEG. SO WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL, AND WHAT SORT OF ADVANTAGE WERE THE AUSSIES TRYING TO GET? IN PART ONE OF A ONE-PART INVESTIGATION INTO BALL TAMPERING, I LOOK BACK AT THE HISTORY AND SCIENCE OF THE DARK ART OF FIDDLING. (10CC'S 'DREADLOCK HOLIDAY') BOWLED! THE AUSTRALIAN CRICKET TEAM CAUGHT RED-HANDED. I SAW AN OPPORTUNITY TO POTENTIALLY USE SOME TAPE, GET SOME,... YOU KNOW, GRANULES FROM THE ROUGH PATCHES ON THE WICKET AND TRIED TO,... I GUESS, CHANGE THE BALL CONDITION. BUT BALL TAMPERING IS NOT NEW ` LEGENDARY INDIAN BATSMAN SACHIN TENDULKAR, HERO TO MILLIONS, WAS CAUGHT PICKING. SACHIN TENDULKAR SHOWN RUNNING HIS FINGERS ALONG THE SEAM OF THE BALL. IT WAS ENOUGH TO CONVINCE MATCH REFEREE TENDULKAR WAS GUILTY OF BALL TAMPERING. OTHER CRICKETERS HAVE FOUND MORE CREATIVE WAYS TO FIDDLE. THERE'S BEEN SWEATY PITS... RICHIE BENAUD: SOMETIMES PEOPLE USE DEODORANT; SOMETIMES THEY TRY TO GET THE... THE LEATHER OFF THE BALL. ...SOME BITING... IT'S ABSOLUTE STUPIDITY. THERE'S 27 CAMERAS AT THE GROUND. HE'S BITING IT LIKE IT'S AN APPLE. IF YOU'RE HUNGRY, GO GET SOME FOOD FROM THE CANTEEN. ...AND SUCKING AND SMEARING MINTS. VISION HAS EMERGED OF SOUTH AFRICAN CAPTAIN FAF DU PLESSIS SHINING UP THE BALL WITH A LOLLY CLEARY IN HIS MOUTH. BUT HOW DOES IT WORK? WELL, CRICKETERS ARE LOOKING TO INCREASE THE AMOUNT THE BALL SWINGS IN THE AIR. IN SCIENCE-Y SPEAK, MORE FRICTION ON ONE SIDE MEANS IT'LL SLOW DOWN IN THE AIR AND SWING IN THAT DIRECTION. YOU CAN ADD WEIGHT ` THAT COULD BE MOISTURE OR TAPE; OR SCUFF ONE SIDE OF THE BALL ` THAT'LL MEAN MORE FRICTION; EVEN SMOOTHING ONE SIDE BY APPLYING THE LIKES OF LIP BALM AND VASELINE ` THAT'S LESS FRICTION, MORE SWING, WHICH MAKES THE BALL HARDER FOR THE BATSMAN TO HIT. BOWLED HIM! THE ONLY ACTION WHICH MAY BE APPLIED TO A CRICKET BALL IS POLISHING WITHOUT THE USE OF AN ARTIFICIAL SUBSTANCE, DRYING WITH A TOWEL OR REMOVING MUD UNDER SUPERVISION BY THE UMPIRES. ANYTHING ELSE IS ILLEGAL. What can you do that is legal? Your spittle orbodily fluid. Like sweat? Pretty much. That is disgusting. Ou can put it under your armpit. Ou can use unscreen or sweat. The issue is when you start bringing foreign objects on to the field like a bottle top tourist break. A bit of sweat here and there sCretching, but it's a foreign object. He definitely use and paper, didn't he? This is the ball that was used at the Basin reserve, and if you just have it in your handand go like this. That is so easy, isn't it? That is really roughing it up. Hat is the opposite swing. Explain to us the reverse. Normally the ball swings towards the rough side. The site is faster. Reverse swing, this is heavier. Spit on here. This is rough and it goes towards the heavy side. It goes late. Reverse is harder. That is what they were trying to do. FACEBOOK POLL WHICH IS WORSE ` THE 2018 AUSSIE BALL TAMPERING OR THE 1981 UNDERARM? Most people are saying ampering is worse by a slim margin. IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN TO A BIG STADIUM GIG, YOU KNOW THAT GETTING IN AND OUT IS SOMETHING OF AN ART. RIGHT NOW TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE POURING INTO MT SMART STADIUM FOR THE FINAL OF THREE ED SHEERAN GIGS. SO WE THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN TO SET OUR TIM WILSON A CHALLENGE ` CAR, TRAIN, WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET TO ED IN THE SPACE OF THIS SHOW. TIM, HOW ARE YOU DOING? Jeremy, it is hopeless. I can't hitchhike because there is no cars. The motorway is fine. That is no good to me. 23,000 people took cars last night. That could have been a good one. This is the breast and family. What is thebest way to get to a concert? We stopped at Papakura and trained in. Ron, Tim. We will check in to see how he does later. HAVE YOU EVER GOOGLED, 'HOW TO DELETE FACEBOOK'? WELL, IF YOU HAVE, YOU'RE NOT ALONE, BECAUSE THE SEARCH FOR THOSE INSTRUCTIONS IS AT A FIVE-YEAR HIGH. WHY? WELL, BECAUSE WE'VE ALL JUST LEARNED THAT FACEBOOK LET OUR DATA LOOSE WITH A POLITICAL CONSULTANCY FIRM. BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE DRASTIC ACTION OF DELETING ALTOGETHER, HOW DO YOU PROTECT YOUR INFORMATION? SOCIAL MEDIA GURU JESSICA MOLONEY ANSWERS YOUR TOP FACEBOOK QUESTIONS. (CHEERFUL MUSIC) I DON'T KNOW IF WE SHOULD BE WORRIED. I THINK WHAT WE SHOULD BE IS EDUCATED. BASICALLY, IF YOU'RE CONNECTED, DATA IS COLLECTED ON YOU. PEOPLE SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE FINE PRINT. I KNOW IT'S A TIRESOME THING, BUT I ACTUALLY THINK, IN THIS DAY AND AGE, AS WE'RE BECOMING MORE AND MORE DIGITAL AND THE WORLD IS BECOMING A BIGGER CONNECTED PLACE, WE HAVE TO BE REALLY AWARE OF WHAT THAT ACTUALLY MEANS. THE BUSINESSES THAT ARE TARGETING YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THINGS LIKE WHERE YOU ARE, WHAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN, POTENTIALLY EVEN THE PURPOSES AND THE VALUES THAT YOU SUBSCRIBE TO. DATA CAN ACTUALLY PLAY A REALLY BIG PART IN MOVING AND SHIFTING THE NEEDLE ON SOME REALLY BIG SOCIETY PROBLEMS. THINK ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE CLIMATE CHANGE, FOR EXAMPLE. THAT IS A CONVERSATION THAT HAS RISEN IN POPULARITY, GIVEN HOW MUCH IT HAS BEEN SPOKEN ABOUT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. THAT'S A REALLY GOOD THING. FLIP IT ON ITS HEAD AND YOU MAKE IT ABOUT SUPPORTING A POLITICAL ADMINISTRATION THROUGH YOUR DATA. THAT'S WHEN PEOPLE FEEL REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. PART OF THEIR PRIVACY SETTINGS IS ABOUT ACCESS TO YOUR MICROPHONE. A LOT OF SPECULATION, BUT I THINK THE OFFICIAL LINE ON THIS IS THAT, NO, THEY'RE NOT LISTENING TO YOU AND THEY'RE NOT USING THAT VOICE DATA. BUT I THINK TARGETING BY VOICE AND VOICE DATA IS PROBABLY ONLY A FEW MONTHS AWAY. DON'T USE AN EFTPOS CARD, DON'T GO SHOPPING, DON'T USE A CELL PHONE, REMOVE YOURSELF COMPLETELY OFF THE INTERNET AND DON'T INTERACT WITH ANYONE ELSE THAT'S USING THE INTERNET, AND THAT'S A WAY OF AVOIDING GIVING YOUR DATA TO ANYONE. FOR MOST OF THESE APPS THAT WE'RE USING EVERY DAY, DATA SHARING IS THE REASON WHY THEY'RE FREE FOR YOU TO USE. Don't do anything. I always get sprung by the family. If I have been looking at shopping sites, they know what they havein doing. The sandpaper is great for buffing the nails. STILL TO COME, TAKING TO THE TRACK ` WE'RE THERE AS SEVEN-YEAR VETERAN OF HARNESS RACING SARAH PALIN GOES ROUND FOR THE FINAL TIME. # WHEN YOU'RE GONE, THOUGH I TRY, HOW CAN I CARRY ON? # MORE SEVEN SHARP AFTER THIS. # Let my love in. # WELCOME BACK. TIM WILSON'S BATTLING THE AUCKLAND TRAFFIC TO TRY AND GET TO ED SHEERAN'S FINAL NORTH ISLAND GIG. HOW ARE YOU GETTING ON, TIM? E are going well. We are getting off the train. Can we get a chant? We are going to do it. Where is the chart? I think we're going to do it. 57 trains on Auckland transport. Ed, Ed, Ed! He has a shy retiring type (!) It is totally packed with people. How are you guys doing? Are you having fun? Say hi. The thing to do is just go with it. Don't fight the feeling. That train looks very efficient. Everyone is having a great time. I always find that on public transport to a cricket match or something like that. Is that Tims date? CONSTABLE STEVE O'REILLY MAY LOOK LIKE YOUR AVERAGE POLICE OFFICER, BUT HE HAS ANOTHER LIFE. OFF DUTY, THE AUCKLAND TRAFFIC COP HAS BEEN PREPARING FOR THE BIGGEST ROLE OF HIS LIFE. THAT'S RIGHT. HE'S ABOUT TO TAKE TO THE STAGE AS THE MALE LEAD IN A NEW PRODUCTION OF 'MAMMA MIA'. GILL HIGGINS WENT ON PATROL WITH THE SINGING BOBBY. (ABBA'S 'KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU') HE MAY LOOK FOCUSED ON HIS JOB, HAPPY IN HIS WORK, BUT DEEP DOWN, HE'S FULL OF REGRET. # WHATEVER HAPPENED TO OUR LOVE? # I WISHED I'D UNDERSTOOD. # IT USED TO BE SO NICE, IT USED TO BE SO GOOD. # OF COURSE, WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT CONSTABLE STEVE O'REILLY HIMSELF,... # SO WHEN YOU'RE NEAR ME,... BUT HIS STAGE CHARACTER, SAM CARMICHAEL, IN 'MAMMA MIA'. SO, IN THE FILM, THE CHARACTER REGRETS LOSING THE BIG LOVE OF HIS LIFE. HAVE YOU GOT MUCH EXPERIENCE LIKE THAT TO DRAW ON? (CHUCKLES) IT'S ALL ABOUT REGRETS. HAVE YOU HAD A FEW? OH, THERE'S A SONG THERE. ABSOLUTELY, I THINK WHEN YOU REACH MY AGE, OF COURSE YOU DO. IF YOU DON'T, THEN YOU HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN LIVING, RIGHT? DEFINITELY NO REGRETS TAKING TO THE STAGE. I STARTED FAIRLY LATE. THE POLICE GAVE ME THE CONFIDENCE, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I JUST WANTED TO PERFORM. ALL: # MY, MY! # AT WATERLOO, NAPOLEON DID SURRENDER. # OH YEAH! SO, YOU'VE BEEN IN QUITE A FEW MUSICALS. HOW DOES 'MAMMA MIA' COMPARE? IN TERMS OF SCALE, IT'S THE BIGGEST. IT'S A BIT LIKE A CANDYFLOSS MUSICAL, IF YOU LIKE. BUT IF YOU GO LOOKING FOR IT DEEP ENOUGH, THERE IS MEANINGFUL STUFF THERE. DISCOVERING HE MAY BE THE FATHER OF A YOUNG GIRL. PLEASE` BUT I'VE BEEN THERE, SOPHIE! YOU HAVE GOT THAT EXPERIENCE? OH WITH THE YOUNG`? NO. NO, I HOPE NOT. I'M PRETTY SURE I HAVEN'T. ALL: # YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN. AND THE MUSIC, OF COURSE ` THERE'S NOTHING DARK AND NASTY ABOUT IT. IT'S JUST FUN. AND DON'T WE ALL KNOW THAT? BOTH: # DANCING QUEEN. # FEEL THE BEAT ON THE TAMBOURINE. # OH YEAH. IT'S SO BAD! (BOTH LAUGH) SOUNDS GREAT WHEN I'M IN THE CAR BY MYSELF. # YOU CAN DANCE. # YOU CAN JI-IVE. # HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. # IT'S PARTLY WHY THE MUSICAL IS SUCH A WORLDWIDE SUCCESS, HELPED FURTHER BY THE INCREDIBLY POPULAR FILM VERSION. IN FILM, IT'S PIERCE BROSNAN PLAYING THE CHARACTER. TO FILL, ISN'T IT? YES. # WHEN YOU'RE GONE... # WHEN YOU'RE GONE... BOTH: # ...HOW CAN I EVEN TRY TO GO ON? # I REALLY RESPECT HIM AS AN ACTOR. BUT I BRING SOMETHING SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT. SO WHAT DO YOU BRING? (LAUGHS) I HESITATE TO SAY A VOICE. # KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU. # AHA! # THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO. # YOU HAVE TO BE LARGER THAN LIFE ON STAGE. BUT WHAT IS STEVE O'REILLY LIKE OFF STAGE? I... I WOULDN'T SAY I'M BORING, BUT I'M... I'M... STEVE O'REILLY IS A FAIRLY QUIET GUY. (SIREN WAILS) BUT HE'S OVERCOMING THAT FOR A BIT OF ON-THE-JOB SHOW PROMOTION. AFTERNOON, MA'AM. I THINK YOU DESERVE... A SONG. A SONG? # BREAKING UP IS NEVER EASY, I KNOW. # BUT I HAVE TO GO. # KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU, # IT'S THE BEST I CAN D` (LAUGHS) IT'S JUST GREAT. YEAH, I THINK THE AUDIENCE IS GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME. # ...IS ALWAYS REPEATING ITSELF. # WATERLOO. # I WAS DEFEATED, YOU WON THE WAR. # WATERLOO. # PROMISE TO LOVE YOU FOREVERMORE. # He is so smooth. What did the person Steve pulled over do? I'm not sure. She looked shocked. It is on at the Bruce Mason Centre on for another few weeks. WE'LL SEE HOW TIM WILSON IS GETTING ON IN HIS PILGRIMAGE TO MT SMART SOON. PLUS, HITTING THE TRACK ONE LAST TIME, SAYING GOODBYE TO TRUE WORKHORSE OF HARNESS RACING ` SARAH PALIN CALLS TIME ON HER TROTTING CAREER. VOICE-OVER: Blocked nose? Heavy head? Reach for the power of Sudafed Nasal Spray for fast relief. # He's going the distance. WELCOME BACK. SOME NAMES EVOKE CERTAIN REACTIONS, DON'T THEY? DONALD TRUMP, FOR EXAMPLE; STORMY DANIELS. THEN THERE'S THAT OLD POLITICAL BLAST FROM THE PAST SARAH PALIN, WHO MICHAEL HOLLAND STUMBLED UPON IN WAIMATE, SOUTH CANTERBURY, OF ALL PLACES. (WALK THE MOON'S 'ONE FOOT') # OOH-OOH-OOH. # HEY! # OOH-OOH-OOH. # HEY! IT'S A STELLAR CROWD FOR THE LITTLE COUNTRY TRACK. AND THE PRESIDENT? WELL, HE'S MIGHTY CHUFFED. 600, MAYBE 700 ` I'M THRILLED WITH THE DAY. (BOTH CHUCKLE) IT'S FANTASTIC. THE WAIMATE CLUB'S FIRST MEETING SINCE THAT DARK DAY FOUR YEARS AGO, WHEN A WINDSTORM SWEPT DOWN OFF THE HILLS. IT WHIPPED THROUGH HERE AND TOOK THE STANDS OUT. GONE? THEY'RE GONE. TWO STANDS, THE ROOFS WENT RIGHT OFF THEM. BUT THE REAL REASON WE'RE HERE... SEVEN SHARP'S HERE. ...IS PRINTED ON THE T-SHIRTS ` THE TROTTER WITH THE MOST CURIOUS ` SOME WOULD SAY UNFLATTERING ` OF NAMES. YOU KNOW WHO I WANT? OH, SARAH PALIN. YEP, SARAH PALIN, NAMED AFTER THAT MOST MOCKED OF U.S. VICE-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES, WHO CAUSED MORE THAN A FEW LIPS TO TWITCH EVERY TIME SHE DARED OPEN HER MOUTH. I LIVE AND BREATHE SARAH PALIN. YOU LIVE AND BREATHE SARAH PALIN? I LIVE AND BREATHE SARAH PALIN. YOU LIVE AND BREATHE SARAH PALIN? I LOVE HER. (CHUCKLES) ISN'T SARAH PALIN LAMPOONED AROUND THE WORLD? WELL, YEAH, SHE'S NOT THAT POPULAR, IS SHE? PROBABLY A REASONABLE ASSESSMENT, BUT THIS SARAH HAS HEARTS AFLUTTER AND ADMIRERS USING THE H-WORD ` 'HONEST'. SHE'S AN HONEST HORSE, AND THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE ` AN HONEST, GOOD-WORKING HORSE. SHE GIVES HER BEST ALL THE TIME. WAS THAT OTHER SARAH PALIN HONEST? I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT ` THAT'S BEYOND MY REALMS OF KNOWLEDGE. AND IF WE'RE TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST, THOSE IN THE KNOW SAY SARAH ISN'T THE MOST GIFTED OF HORSES. NO FRILLS. JUST DOES THE BUSINESS? JUST DOES THE BUSINESS. BUT WITH 180-ODD STARTS UNDER HER BELT OVER SEVEN SEASONS, FEW CAN RECALL A TROTTER WHO'S GONE ROUND MORE TIMES AND GIVEN SO MUCH PLEASURE. SHE EPITOMISES THE BATTLERS. YOU KNOW, SHE'S NO GREAT HORSE, BUT SHE BATTLES AWAY. SHE'S BLACK, AND SHE'S GORGEOUS. (LAUGHS) SHE'S HAD A BLOODY GOOD CAREER. SARAH'S 10 WINS NOTHING TO BE SNEEZED AT, BUT IT'S HER HAPPY KNACK OF RUNNING IN THE PLACES MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THAT'S GIVEN HER ANOTHER HANDLE. THEY CALL HER SARAH THE CASH-FLOW MACHINE. JUST KEEPS TICKING OVER? YEAH, YEAH. TODAY, THOUGH, ITS ALL ABOUT MAKING SARAH LOOK A MILLION BUCKS. IS THAT A BIT OF A HORSEY TIARA? IT IS A BIT OF A HORSEY TIARA. YEAH, THERE'S A BIT OF BLING GOING ON IN THERE. COME ON. IT'S TIME TO TELL HER. IT'S YOUR LAST RACE. THIS IS IT ` LAST RACE. HER 184TH. SHE MADE A GREAT START, SARAH PALIN. MUST HAVE BEEN OVER A HUNDRED TIMES SHE'S WON THE START IN HER CAREER. SARAH PALIN. FAREWELL, OLD GIRL. YOU'VE GIVEN THEM A GREAT RIDE. A MID-PACK SIXTH. JUST HOPE SHE HAS A LOVELY RETIREMENT. SHE DESERVES IT. SHE'S DONE A GREAT JOB. NOT MANY RACE AS OFTEN AS HER, AND PROBABLY AS CONSISTENTLY. YOU'VE GOT A TEAR IN YOUR EYE? OH. A LITTLE ONE. SHE'S BEEN A SWEETHEART. AND SO, WITH A SPECIAL COVER TO MARK THE OCCASION, OUR SARAH PREPARES FOR THE RETIREMENT PADDOCK, ALREADY IN FOAL, HER STAR HAVING BURNED LONGER AND BRIGHTER THAN THAT A CERTAIN SOMEONE ELSE NAMED PALIN. She is a lovely horse, Sarah Palen. ED SHEERAN'S CONCERT IS JUST OVER AN HOUR WAY FROM STARTING. TIM WILSON WAS DOING HIS BEST TO GET THERE. HAVE YOU ARRIVED YET, TIM? Guy's, yeah, we finish this part on foot. We had T-shirt sellers disappearbehind a bush. It is noisy but it is quiet here. There is a harsh. You know thatthere is something big about to happen for all the people who came here. We will leave you on a beautiful sunset. That is gorgeous. How far has he got to walk? 150 m. He has made good time. If you use public transport, they are set up for that. Hhalf the problem is getting home from the gig. Did you see that just under our Dern said she couldn't get to his concerts, so she invited him around for a cuppa and is gone isand he turned up? Here is a picture she put on Instagram. She couldn't believe it. She said thE scons turned out all right to. THOSE WERE OUR PEOPLE TODAY. THAT WAS SEVEN SHARP TONIGHT. WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. CHEERIO.