* (UPBEAT MUSIC) (PENSIVE MUSIC) Some people just think I'm good for peeling spuds and washing dishes. I can do more than that. Where's the camera? Right here. Am I looking at it? Yep. Kia ora, my name is Freedom. Everyone calls me Free. I'm 20 years old. We're here in the heart of the King Country. Benneydale. 'Sticker' for short. And... Oh, yeah, and I'm blind as a bat. (PENSIVE GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES) I haven't achieved anything impressive ` just living my life; being happy and that. I mean, maybe I'll find where I'm going next year tomorrow,... you know, or five years down the track. But when that day comes, hopefully I'll be ready. But until then, yeah, this is me. I don't hold on to worries. Try not to, eh, you know? Nah. Now we'll just go through these photos. It'll have been the 18th of the 12th, '97. She was diagnosed with bilateral retinoblastoma in the eyes. Both in the eyes. And then we started chemo, must of been a couple of weeks after. So it was just full on for the next three years until Freedom was... two weeks before she turned 5, eh? And then she lost her left eye` right eye, and they took her left eye when she was 3� months old. And then we just, yeah, we did radiotherapy, chemotherapy, and then they took her eye two weeks before she turned 5. Yeah, so she's been blind ever since. Fought for that last eye. Mm. But then when they took her in, then they came back in and said they had to take it, eh. Cos it was starting to spread outside her eye. So, we had` Oh, we sort of explained to her. But how do you tell a, you know` ...4-year-old. ...a 4-year-old kid that she's gonna lose her eye? She probably just thought it would be a game or something. But I think it wasn't until they actually did the operation, come out of the operation` She just felt her eye. ...she was quite... ...traumatised, eh, yeah. ...standoffish. Just keep saying to her, you know, 'We love you.' I was quite 'thing' with her at first, you know, I was just being her eyes. But then as she got, sort of, older, she... You got to, sort of, let her go on her own and... Yeah. (SOFT MUSIC) My name's Hoka Osbourne. I've got six kids, and Freedom sits about the third. (DOG BARKS) Work as a shepherd on Tiroa station. We run over 25,000 ewes on our farm. Oh, look at them. Yep, my dad works here. He's permanent. My uncle works here ` he's the manager. Yeah, my cousin's up there, my cousin Levi. He's my brother. That's Uncle that drives the tractor. Today we're just doing drafting the wethers of the ewe lambs. We push them into here, then they go up that race, and then wham, bam, boom. They get drenched, then drafted. It's all good. My dad ` he sticks to himself. Not a very sociable sort of a fulla. But he will get on with anyone, and he's taught me a lot. Just taught me to be who I am when I want to be, you know? And just taught me to be myself. Freedom? She's a hard worker, yeah. She's a good worker, yeah. You tell her to do something, she usually gets up and goes and does it, so, yeah. Move, move. She speaks her mind. I wouldn't say that's from me. That'd be more from Mum than me. (UPBEAT MUSIC) My mum ` without her I wouldn't be in the place I am today. Wouldn't know half the things I know. Yeah, she's been a real mean support person; always encourage me to do things myself. I would say, from a very young age, I've been brought up like that, so it's sort of made me, yeah, do everything my own way and do as many things as I can do. And if I can't, I'll give it a bloody good try anyway. Well, we just took every day as it comes, and we just had to deal with what we were dealt with, cos we didn't know what tomorrow or next week would bring, you know? We were just always hit with hurdles, so, yeah, you were used to not getting your hope up by` just to be whacked back down, eh. So, yeah. It was quite hard, actually, the first four years. Mm. We've etched into her, you know, 'Never let anything get you down', and 'there's always somebody worse off than you.' You know? So, 'The only thing you can't do, Freedom, is see.' But half of the stuff that she does ` a lot of blind people wouldn't even attempt the stuff that she does. That's just her attitude, eh, her nature in just giving everything a go. My daughter's achieved. Even though she hasn't gone anywhere in the world, she's just achieved by being here, by just living her life the way we've lived our life. Because... that's just an achievement in itself ` just living her life with her family. She's got a neat attitude to life, eh? You know, just, 'Ah, don't worry about it, bro. Just get over it and just carry on, eh?' You know? (POIGNANT MUSIC) READS: 'We jut found out our baby has retinoblastoma. It's a real blow to us. 'But never mind. 'All we have to do is be strong and positive for our darling.' Yeah, sure does bring back the memory. But if you look at her now, eh, she's like, 'Mm.' (LAUGHS) I remember saying to her the day when she come out of surgery, 'It's all good, my baby. You use your mouth now, eh?' Yeah. 16 years later, saying, 'Shut your mouth.' (LAUGHS) You know? 'Huh? You said "use my mouth", Mum!' Now it's, 'Shut your mouth.' Yeah. We said to her, 'Your name is what it is. 'You're free to speak your mind; you're free to do anything you want, my darling,' you know, 'The world is yours.' (BLUES-STYLE MUSIC) (CHAINSAW WHIRRS) Yeah, we were up the bush getting firewood. My family are shareholders up here. My parents never wrapped me up in cotton wool or, you know, done things for me. They just treated me like they would treat my other sisters and my other brothers. And I'm real grateful for that, cos, yeah, I just wanna be the person I am now. (WHIRRING CONTINUES) (EASY-GOING MUSIC) (MUSIC DROWNS OUT CHATTER) Well, that's us, brothers. We're finished there ` finished that wood loading up the trailers. That's us, and ready to roll, eh? Sweet. Can I drive, Pa? Ooh... Come on now, Pa. Yeah. I suppose so. Kei te pai. You be careful. You listen. Yeah. 'Course. 'Course. Straight up and down ` stock standard. Righty. (LAZY COUNTRY MUSIC) (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (CHUCKLES) (ENGINE STARTS) Remember to put your leg on the brake. You in first? No, you're in reverse, Pa. A beep. Oh. There, eh? OK. Right. Left, left, left, left, left. Another left. A little left. Keep your hand 9 and 3 o'clock. 9 and 3 o'clock. So you can turn left. Left. That's all right. Coming up to... Coming up to thing. Put your leg on the clutch. Yeah. Man, you're the man. My sister Teesha is like, yeah, mini-me. You know, we laugh. That's all we do, pretty much together, is just laugh and crack up. I know that my sister ` she's always got my back no matter what, 100%. We do everything pretty much together, eh? If she could come to work with me every day, she would. Hunting, eeling, working. Going to town. Even just driving down to the nearest corner, we just sit there cracking up laughing. Anywhere with her is just a laugh. Things don't go her way, ooh, stand back. I've had a couple of goes with Free, and, ooh, she's had me upside down. But, hey, that's life. But, yeah, nah, it's all good. Just that sister bond I guess, eh, you know? Yeah. She's just a normal person, really, and the only thing she can't do is can't see. She'll be happy to stay here. She loves it here. She knows everyone here. She's local ` very local. Everyone knows her. Everyone just waves their hand. You know, she can't see them, but she waves anyway. If they're on that side, she'll be waving this side, you know. But, yeah, she'll love it here. We've been meaning for you to get gas. Took it down skidder pad, tap out. My sister's 17, and she's got a job and a house. And I'm 20, Ma, and I've only done casual work, like, you know, Ma. Like, it's all that sort of differences that sort of remind you of why it's sort of restricting ` a disability. But, like, you don't let that stuff get you down, but it's just` it's there. Although you're independent, you'll never be fully independent. (SNIFFLES) And just the ability, you know, to drive around here, just to make me feel... (SNIFFLES) I don't know, it just gives me peace sometimes, being able to do other things that (SNIFFLES) that my brothers and sisters can do, Ma. (SNIFFLES) Sometimes we've just gotta make the best of what we've got given to us, and, um... But, nah, sometimes it does suck. You sorta look at other people that, you know, they can drive and they just get normal jobs. You know, it's... ah, yeah. But, I mean, besides that, I mean, it's all good. But it does play on your mind when you sorta think about shit or stuff ` that you won't always be fully independent. Not out here, anyway. And I'll always miss, you know, just trying to do my own things but always having to rely on someone else. And Freedom ` come towards my voice. At 13, she started at that Homai for the Blind up in Auckland. MAN: Yes. HOKA: Yeah, that was quite hard. It was quite sad. I didn't want to leave her. I used to go to boarding school when I was 13. And although that was all good, it's not the same, you know, not having your family around. And, um,... yeah, I was up there for four and a half years. She changed for the better. She became more independent. All her Braille writing that she does ` she was blowing me away. Her education was right up there. When I turned 17, I come home for two weeks, and, um, in all honesty, it was probably the best two weeks I've ever spent with my family in a long time. You know, we were together. I felt a part of them. And I never went back to school. (GENTLE MUSIC) That's six, Ma. Oh, how are you supposed to get the ball in that? Oh, nah, just do a good one. Eh? Just do a good one. Oh... Go hard or go home. Here's the ball. Give me two! There's no two! You have tricks. You go first. All right. Oh, two steps back, brah? How are we doing? Here. (CLICKS FINGERS REPEATEDLY) This is where the cups are, brah. Yeah, nah. Yeah. Yeah, brah. (BALL HITS CUP) GIRL: Oh. Whoo-hoo! Did I get it? Nah. Oh! (THWACK!) Oh! Whoo-hoo! Did she get it? Dial them up! (LAUGHS) Whoo-hoo! Your favourite. Ooh, it's weak. Yeah, cos... Ooh, yuck. Ready? Oh, not like that, bro. Oh, you got one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh! Uh! Uh! Uh! The Baileys! Oi, not an empty one. BOY: We're not actually singing that song, are we? Can you imagine that, watching it? (SINGS INDISTINCTLY) (BOTH PLAY TUNE) # If I'm never to fear... # 'I sang and played guitar and piano. 'I think I had a term of lessons. 'Mm. Just cos I had a teacher called me lazy so I just taught myself. bit of a passion.' (SINGS) # ...there we shared... # Oh, # when the lights are... # ...lights are low. 'Songwriting ` that's a good one. 'You know, you can always just write songs.' # Oh, oh. 'I mean, you could choose any emotion that you're feeling, whatever, 'and you put it all in a song, use all those words ` so many words to choose from.' BOTH SING: # We'll let it go. # Just write your own feelings into a song, and for me, it was just a main release of emotions, and I wasn't bottling it up; I was releasing it through my music. And that's why I loved writing so much ` cos I could release all my anger or my (BLEEP)ing sadness or whatever it was I was feeling out into the songs, and I wouldn't hurt anyone otherwise with words or actions. All my words that are in songs ` it's not really based at anyone. So, yeah, that's sort of how I dealt with my emotions. (GENTLE MUSIC) I sort of abandoned music because, um, I felt like it became, like, a job ` it became like a job and not a passion. I wanted music to stay as a passion. But the amount of pressure I got put on me to write songs or perform ` But the amount of pressure I got put on me to write songs or perform ` it became, like, something I didn't want to do but others were pushing me to do, and so I sort of just gave it up altogether. Gave it all up, and... Dumb. Very dumb. If I went back to music, it'll probably mean everything ` writing again, playing again. Yeah. But the day will come. That day will come, hopefully. (SLOW, INTRIGUING MUSIC) Addie. Where's the gumboots, brah? Oh, in here. Here. Here. (GATE RATTLES) Come through the gate. Follow the gate. Yep. Yep. Oh. Cold. Come to your right, Free. (DOG BARKS) Here! Here! LOUDLY: Here, p-p-p-p-p-pig! Get it! Here, p-p-p-p-p-pig! What is it? Come on! What? (WHISTLES) 'Nothing worries me about life. I just go with the flow most of the time. 'But life ain't all roses and bloody rainbows and unicorns, whatever else everyone's thinking. 'Just want to be normal and treated normal. That's all I think about. 'Don't make us anyone different. Just want to be treated normally. You know, that whole 'no judging a book by its cover'? You see someone blind, you don't judge them, 'Oh, they might not be ale to do that.' (UPBEAT MUSIC) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (INDISTINCT CHATTERING CONTINUES) (UPBEAT MUSIC) 'Just getting out in the bush ` so free. 'It's tranquil up here, you know? There's no noise, just birds. 'And occasional chainsaws and cuzzies driving past.' WHISPERS: Got the bullets? So what we're up to is just waiting for the brothers to... They run on foot, track the old dogs. And fingers and toes crossed that they track something. Chances are good, but every day sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some. Sort of the luck of the game, I suppose. And I'll just stay here. The blackberry's too thick. Trying to get through there in jeans ` uh, yeah, not the one. Not the one. We're not very much of, a outing, going to town for lunch type of family. We're more of a prepare our own food and all gather round somewhere up here or on the farm for a picnic while we're getting wood and tasks. That's our family activity. Wasn't even there. Bloody useless dogs. (CHUCKLES) Might get one on the way out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Went for a look up there then, but there was nothing. Oh yeah? The dogs went right up on that side. Me and the bro have our ups and downs as brother and sister, but, you know, still love the bro, eh? You know. And, you know, buzzing out there, the old bro, blind as. She's got more grit than some of us with eyes. But, nah, all in all, pretty mean... to have a sister with a disability like that and doesn't let it phase her, eh. Now that we're older, we spend a lot more time together, cruising around the bush and stuff, out on the farm. She always just comes for a ride. I'm always usually rolling around by myself, so she always jumps in. Nice to have good company. Even if she had one eye, she wouldn't even probably be here. She'd be out doing her own thing, still live in Auckland, you know, living her own life. Yeah. I mean, yeah. But, like I said, I mean, she doesn't let that as a downfall, let it stop her, eh, you know? Still out there doing it. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Yeah. (GENTLE MUSIC) I don't really walk around with my cane. Fairly normal without using a cane. Sometimes I get sick of knocking into things. Probably three or four times a day. Vicious. Very vicious. Holy hell! 'Once you hit into it once, I suppose you won't hit into it again. 'You know it's there.' Whoa. 'Gotta start using it again, though. 'We'd be all safe. (CHUCKLES)' That's my favourite. My favourite. Uh... Oh, yeah, nah, look, that's better. There. Peanut slab. Buy that one. (GIRL CHUCKLES) Um... Oh, nah, there it is. Cracked it. Cracked them. - Oh hell. - (EGG THUDS) Really cracked that one. Hell. Hi. Hello. How are you? Good. 'Good thing about not living in town is just the amount of people and noise. 'Out in the country, it's peaceful. 'I suppose sometimes people think it's limiting on the old social life, but not for me.' See ya. Have a nice day. See ya. (CHUCKLES) 'Not at all. The only limits is, yeah, no job and all that.' (UPBEAT MUSIC) DAPHNE: It's not what we want, eh. It's what she wants, eh. She's just kinda in neutral, trying to figure out which paths she wants to take. You just look at her now, and you think, 'Jeez,' you know, 'she's come so far.' You know, and she's done really well. They always get me to cut the onions cos, yeah, they think it doesn't` it won't make me cry. But, anyway, life goes on. Just having that awesome nature and that 'just give it a go' attitude, eh. You know. Got any tomato sauce, Mum? Or tomato puree, tomato paste? Yep. Anything. She just adjusts to whatever's around here. She just goes for it. How many KGs of kangaroo? 'Get out there, girl.' You know, 'Whatever it is, get out there.' I'll give you a secret ingredient, eh? Keep it to yourself. Secret ingredients? Yeah, keep that a secret. (WEET-BIX CRUNCHES) the old possum stew. Bit of a possum stew. Chuck some sawdust on top there. Bit of sawdust there. HOKA: The world's out there. The opportunities for her to get out there and go and live her life instead of living here with Mum and Dad. Yeah, I hope she gets out there and goes and lives her life, you know for her own. Oh, that's a big boy. My hopes for Free is to live her life the fullest. Party hard, work hard ` you know, just live it up. Just hope she enjoys it, eh. You know. Don't, you know, don't put her, uh... like how we do ` you know, just do it normally, eh. Just, yeah, just live life to the fullest. Yeah. CHILD: Hot! Very hot. I'll get burnt. I'll get burnt. But hopefully I will not get burnt. Oh! There we go. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) Mwah. (UPLIFTING MUSIC CONTINUES) I'm living here, and I'm still living with my family, still got my mum and dad and my sisters, brothers. And you sorta need that stuff to pull you out of that depressing sort of area. I'm not gonna lie ` I wish I could see. I wish I could see my family's faces again. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) I'm where the light is. I'm still living, still here talking, healthy as. Just one disability, and that's I can't see. (STRUMS UPBEAT TUNE) Still haven't finished my journey. Barely started, but I'll get there one day. One day. (CONTINUES STRUMMING TUNE) Captions by June Yeow. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2018