I'M MIKE McROBERTS. AND I'M ORIINI KAIPARA. YES, A MYSTERY THAT HAS BECOME A WORLDWIDE HIT. AND ON THE PROJECT ` THE BIGGEST STORY OF THE NIGHT ` IT'S A WHODUNNIT? YES, A MYSTERY THAT HAS BECOME A WORLDWIDE HIT. AND WE'VE GOT THE KIWI AT THE CENTRE OF THE INVESTIGATION. THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A CHAT THE MORNING AFTER A WEDDING. WHO CUT UP THE DANCE FLOOR? WHO HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK? WHOSE SPEECH WAS CRINGE? AND OF COURSE... WHO (BLEEP) ON THE FLOOR AT MY WEDDING? WHEN THEY HEADED TO THE RECEPTION, THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE NIGHT HAD IN STORE. I SAW A HUGE (BLEEP) IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR. THEIR HORROR TURNED INTO CHAT, AND EVENTUALLY THEY DECIDED TO LET THE REST OF THE WORLD IN ON THEIR CONVERSATION BY TURNING IT INTO A PODCAST. THE NEWLYWEDS RECRUITED LAUREN TO PLAY DETECTIVE, AND SHE LEFT NO STONE UNTURNED. THE TAIL BECOMES THE POO, AND THE BATHROOM BECAME THE CRIME SCENE. JOINING US NOW FROM AMSTERDAM IS KIWI INVESTIGATOR LAUREN KILBY. HOW DID YOU GET THIS JOB, LAUREN? I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE PROFESSIONAL QUALIFICATIONS AS A PRIVATE DETECTIVE. NO. I HAVE ZERO QUALIFICATIONS, AND THAT IS WHY I AM THE BEST. (LAUGHTER) TELL ME ABOUT THAT. WELL, I GUESS, LIKE, TO... IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO DO THINGS THAT YOU'RE NORMALLY NOT ALLOWED TO DO, BY LAW, IT'S BEST TO REMAIN UNQUALIFIED, BECAUSE THEN YOU TECHNICALLY AREN'T BREAKING ANY RULES. AND I DON'T NEED TO APPLY FOR THINGS LIKE WARRANTS. YOU KNOW, I JUST GO INTO SOMEONE'S HOUSE IF I WANT TO AND ARREST THEM. (LAUGHTER) OK, SO YOUR MAIN QUALIFICATION IS YOU WERE AT THE WEDDING. WHAT DO YOU THINK PEOPLE LOVE ABOUT THE STORY SO MUCH? I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE A VERY, VERY SIMILAR... OR A STORY THAT THEY CAN KIND OF RELATE THIS TO. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS A THING THAT HASN'T BEEN ADDRESSED UNTIL NOW, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE` I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE A VERY SIMILAR STORY, AND THEY LIKE HEARING ABOUT THOSE KINDS OF STORIES FOR SOME WEIRD REASON. IN THE CASE THAT YOU'RE WORKING ON ` HAVE YOU FOUND OUT WHO IT WAS? YOU'LL HAVE TO LISTEN TO DETERMINE THAT. NO! YOU CAN'T GET US ON THAT! NO, I NEED YOU TO PIN THIS ON SOMEONE. YOU DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT. YOU DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT. SO WHY HAVEN'T YOU SOLVED IT? WHY HAVEN'T I SOLVED IT? YEAH. WELL, LET ME ASK YOU ` IF YOU HAD ACCIDENTALLY OR ON PURPOSE SHAT ON THE FLOOR AT A WEDDING, WOULD YOU BE COMING FORWARD AND SAYING IT WAS YOU WHO DID IT? NO, I WOULD NOT. BUT YOU'VE GOT LIMITED NUMBER OF SUSPECTS ON A BOAT; SURELY YOU CAN NARROW IT DOWN TO ONE PERSON. I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY NARROWED IT DOWN TO A FEW PEOPLE. THERE'S ONE PERSON I CAN'T GET ACCESS TO. YEAH, ESSENTIALLY, THEY WERE ONE OF THE ENTERTAINERS ON THE BOAT, AND THEY AREN'T OFFICIALLY A WEDDING GUEST, SO THEY'RE VERY HARD TO GET ACCESS TO TO QUESTION. AND GOING BACK TO THE DETECTIVE SKILLS ` THIS IS WHERE BEING A REAL DETECTIVE WOULD ACTUALLY COME IN HANDY, BECAUSE I WOULD ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO GO AND ARREST THAT PERSON. BUT THIS IS KIND OF WHERE IT'S A BIT DIFFICULT. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THE FACT THAT WHOEVER DID THIS MAY BE VERY REGRETFUL, HAS FOUND OUT YOU'VE GOT A PODCAST AND IS LIVING THEIR LIFE IN CONSTANT TERROR AT BEING UNMASKED? YES. I HOPE THEY ARE LIVING THEIR LIFE IN CONSTANT TERROR. WE'VE GIVEN PEOPLE PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITY TO STEP FORWARD. AT ONE STAGE, WE INVITED THE WHOLE WEDDING TO THE PLACE WHERE THE BOAT SET SAIL IN AMSTERDAM AND SAID, 'COME FORWARD NOW WITH INFORMATION. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.' SO WE ARE GIVING PEOPLE THE OPTIONS, AND, YEAH, SOMEONE'S JUST HOLDING THAT BACK AND AND JUST KIND OF GOING THROUGH LIFE. THAT'S THE PROBLEM ` THEY DIDN'T HOLD IT BACK. THAT'S HOW THIS WHOLE THING CAME ABOUT. EXACTLY. DETECTIVE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR TIME. THANK YOU. THIS IS THE PROJECT. IT'S A MARK RICHARDSON NIGHT! AND GUY WILLIAMS IS HERE. I LOVE THAT PODCAST SO MUCH. I AM JUST WONDERING, IT SEEMS TOO COMMON IN KIWI WEDDINGS. WHAT BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN PEOPLE? ALCOHOL. IT SEEMS TO HIT PEOPLE A LOT WORSE THAN AT A BAR. PEOPLE DO THINGS THEY WOULD NEVER DO IN PUBLIC. I HAVE A THEORY. I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT BEING THE SAME AT MY WEDDING, BUT WEDDINGS ARE A BIT BORING. YOU HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT LOVE. THEN THEY GO BACK IN TIME. YOU GET THROUGH THAT BIT, HAVE A DRINK, AND THEN SPEECHES. ALL THE PRESSURE BUILDS UP. IT HAS TO GO SOMEWHERE. I LOVE THE STORY. IT IS WITHOUT DOUBT A NEW LOW FOR THE PROJECT. I GUESS YOU'VE SPENT AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT OF MONEY ON A WEDDING GIFT, SO YOU ARE GETTING YOUR MONEY'S WORTH. THAT MEANS DOING SOMETHING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. YOU SOUND LIKE A SUSPECT. THERE IS A SECOND SEASON PLANNED, ON A DIFFERENT STORY, A CLEANER ONE. ALSO TONIGHT, ARE WE FACING A HOT CHIP SHORTAGE? WE'LL SPEAK TO ONE SHOP OWNER WHO SAYS SHE MAY BE FORCED TO HAVE FROZEN CHIPS IMPORTED, BECAUSE SHE CAN'T FIND ANY HERE. AND IN THE COUNTDOWN TO THE ELECTION, POLITICAL PARTIES ARE SPLASHING THEIR MESSAGES ALL ACROSS SOCIAL MEDIA. SO WHO'S DOING IT RIGHT AND WHO'S DOING IT VERY WRONG? THAT'S NEXT. I'M PRETTY SURE POLITICIANS BEING ON TIKTOK IS A CLEAR SIGN THAT TIKTOK IS ALREADY DEAD. LET'S CHECK BY PLAYING SOME VIDEOS I FOUND ON TIKTOK, IN THE FORM OF THE DAILY DOSE. (APPLAUSE) HERE'S A CUTE VIDEO OF A LITTLE KID WHO IS SHOCKED THEIR AUNTY HAS TO GO TO WORK TWO DAYS IN A ROW. AWW. GUTTED ABOUT WORK ` BUT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE IN THE BATH. HAVE A SHOWER LIKE AN ADULT! THAT'S DISGUSTING! NEXT, I HAVE A VIDEO WHICH SHOWS YOU THAT EVEN IF YOU WORK HARD, IF YOU WORK WITH LIKEMINDED PEOPLE, YOU CAN MAKE IT FUN. THESE GUYS, WHO HAVE TURNED A LEAF BLOWER INTO A SKIPPING ROPE. THAT IS A GOOD TIME! I WOULD CELEBRATE THAT, BUT I TRIED TO DO THE SAME THING WITH MY COUSIN AND A LAWNMOWER AND IT ENDED HORRIFICALLY. HERE'S THE MOST AMAZING VIDEO OF A MAN WHO MANAGED TO FIND A JOB HE REALLY ENJOYS ` AND HIS JOB IS SAILING A FULL-SIZED LOG DOWN A RIVER. THAT'S INCREDIBLE! THAT'S THE BEST WAY TO GET HOME FROM THE PUB IN HAMILTON ` JUST JUMP ON A LONG AND RIDE THE MIGHTY WAIKATO. THAT WAS YOUR DAILY DOSE! (APPLAUSE) IS THAT WHAT YOU USED TO DO, JESSE? THE USED TO BE A RACE, BUT WE LOST A LOT OF PEOPLE. THE ELECTION IS AROUND THE CORNER, AND POLITICIANS ARE TRYING EVERYTHING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION, INCLUDING ` WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT ` TIKTOK. BUT DO ANY OF THEM KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING? YOU NAME IT, TIKTOK HAS IT ` FOODTOK, BOOKTOK, MOVIETOK, AND NOW POLITIKTOK? LET ME TELL YA THREE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD BE VOTING FOR NATIONAL. NOT EVERY POLITICIAN IS QUITE UP WITH SOCIAL MEDIA. BUT THEY SURE ARE GIVING THE VIDEO-SHARING APP A GOOD CRACK. BESIDES BEING DOWN WITH THE KIDS, IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY FOR POLITICAL PARTIES TO LOOK FRESH, LIKE THEY'RE DOING SOMETHING INNOVATIVE. AND THEY GET TO REACH NEW AUDIENCES. AT LAST COUNT, NATIONAL HAD MORE THAN 51,000 FOLLOWERS. NATIONAL KNOWS HOW GEN-Z WORK. AND WE VERY MUCH LOVE A FASCINATING YET ODDLY SATISFYING VIDEO. SO THEY'VE REALLY TAPPED INTO JUST GETTING INTO VIRAL CONTENT AND PUTTING IT UNDERNEATH THEIR VIDEOS. THEY PROBABLY NEED TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE SAYING THINGS VERY SIMPLY OR HAVING WORDS ON THE SCREEN, COS AT THIS STAGE, I'M ONLY THERE FOR THE SAND. BUT IT'S NOT JUST NATIONAL TRYING TO GO VIRAL. IT'S IRONIC, BUT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, AUTHENTICITY IS WHAT PLAYS THROUGH THE MOST. MY NAME IS RAWIRI WAITITI. I'M THE CO-LEADER OF TE PATI MAORI, THE ONLY INDIGENOUS TANGATA WHENUA PARTY HERE IN AOTEAROA. WE'RE NOT GONNA PLAY THE GAME. WE'RE AUTHENTICALLY OURSELVES. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE REPRESENTING, AND THIS IS WHAT WE'RE DOING. GREENS? I THINK THEY'VE GOT POTENTIAL. AND THEY'VE GOT SOMEONE IN THEIR TEAM WHO'S GOING, 'LET'S USE SOME TRENDING MEMES.' THEY HAVEN'T QUITE NAILED HOW TO USE THEM. THIS IS THE WORST! THEY'RE PUTTING ARTICLES. THERE'S A THOUSAND WORDS ON THE SCREEN. AGAIN, LOW ATTENTION SPAN ON TIKTOK. I'M NOT READING ALL THE WORDS. TAYLOR SWIFT IS PLAYING THE ANTI-HERO FOR NEW ZEALANDERS TODAY, REVEALING THAT THE LOVE STORY WITH OUR COUNTRY IS OVER. SOMEONE NEEDS TO CHECK ON DAVID SEYMOUR. HE LOOKS LIKE HE IS BEING HELD THERE AGAINST HIS WILL. YEAH, GIDDAY. IT'S A HARD WATCH. ALTHOUGH, TO BE FAIR, I DID WATCH IT. TIKTOK'S LATEST SENSATION, NONE OTHER THAN NEW ZEALAND FIRST'S SHANE JONES. # FROM AWANUI... # THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY... HE'S SINGING IT. THIS IS HIM SINGING. I... I... I DON'T HAVE WORDS. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, LABOUR. IF YOU CAN FIND THEIR ACCOUNT, THAT IS. THEY ABSOLUTELY SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO IT. THE INFAMOUS LABOUR. WHERE IS IT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU NOT APPEALING TO THE YOUTH? DO YOU NOT WANT US? IT'S SO HARD TO FIND ANYTHING ON TIKTOK RELATING TO THE LABOUR PARTY. AND WHEN YOU HAVE SEEN IT, IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE... PAID ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN. WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THERE TO DO. WE KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO SELL US SOMETHING. BUT IF YOU COULD AT LEAST PLAY THE GAME AND GIVE US A LITTLE BIT OF A TREND, WE CAN BE LIKE, 'RESPECT.' (APPLAUSE) THE LABOUR PARTY IS INTERESTING. WE FOUND A SCRAPPY LITTLE VIDEOS, BUT THEY DIDN'T SEEM TO BE ANYTHING OFFICIAL. WE ACTUALLY ASKED LABOUR TODAY WHEN THEY'D HAVE AN OFFICIAL TIKTOK. WHY IS LABOUR NOT USING TIKTOK? NO, LABOUR WILL BE USING TIKTOK. IT CERTAINLY WILL BE. BUT OBVIOUSLY MPs CAN'T USE IT ON PARLIAMENTARY DEVICES. SINCE THAT MOMENT, THOSE SCRAPPY VIDEOS DISAPPEARED, AND LABOUR HAS LAUNCHED AN ACCOUNT. IT HAS NO VIDEOS. THAT'S PROBABLY THE BEST OF THE POLITICAL OPTIONS. I AM TOO EMBARRASSED TO GO ON TIKTOK. I AM TOO OLD AND I WOULD GET IT WRONG. POLITICIANS ON THEIR GETTING IT RIGHT CREEPS ME OUT MORE THAN THE ONES FAILING. HOW ELSE DO YOU REACH YOUNG PEOPLE? NOT TV. IF YOU ARE 18 AND WATCHING, WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. GET IN TOUCH ON OUR FACEBOOK PAGE! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLITICIANS. SOMETHING LIKE TIKTOK WAS FUN. AND POLITICIANS GET HOLD OF IT, AND IT IS NOT FUN ANY MORE. THEY RUINED IT. THEY TAKE SOMETHING AS WHOLESOME AS AN APP MADE BY THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT TO GAIN OUR DATA, AND THEY RUIN IT (!) SCIENTISTS ARE LISTENING TO THE SKY, WAITING FOR A MESSAGE FROM SPACE. WHY DO THEY THINK TODAY MAY BE THE DAY WE HEAR FROM ALIENS? THAT'S NEXT ON THE PROJECT. I'M HERE WITH NICK, WHO CLAIMS TO BE THE BEST POOL MAN IN NEW ZEALAND. HE'S GONNA TELL YOU WHAT'S COMING UP. SO, NICK, READ THAT. THANKS, GUY. COULD TODAY BE THE DAY WE GET A PHONE CALL FROM OUTER SPACE? FIND OUT NEXT ON THE PROJECT. (APPLAUSE) WELCOME BACK. IF YOU'RE ENJOYING HOT CHIPS TONIGHT, SAVOUR THE MOMENT. ONE SHOP OWNER SAYS LOCAL SUPPLIES OF FROZEN CHIPS ARE SO LOW, SHE MAY HAVE TO SHIP THEM IN FROM OVERSEAS. THAT'S NEXT. HERE ARE SOME STORIES MAKING HEADLINES FOR WEDNESDAY 23 AUGUST. POLICE HAVE LAUNCHED A HOMICIDE INVESTIGATION, AFTER A PERSON WAS KILLED AT AN APARTMENT BUILDING IN CENTRAL AUCKLAND THIS AFTERNOON. THEY DIED AFTER BEING TAKEN TO HOSPITAL. TWO PEOPLE ARE IN CUSTODY. THE ENTIRE GROUND FLOOR OF THE RESIDENCE ON UPPER QUEEN STREET HAS BEEN CORDONED OFF, AND POLICE ARE SECURING THE AREA. AUSTRALIANS ARE BEING WARNED TO 'PLAN AND PREPARE' FOR WHAT COULD BE THE WORST BUSHFIRE SEASON SINCE THE 2019 BLACK SUMMER FIRES. FORECASTERS SAY THE RISK IS HIGH DUE TO HOTTER-THAN-NORMAL TEMPERATURES AND THE ABUNDANCE OF NEW FUEL CREATED BY WINTER RAINS. AUSSIE FIREFIGHTERS WILL HAVE HAD PRACTICE. 700 HAVE BEEN BATTLING DEADLY WILDFIRES IN CANADA AND GREECE. AND EARTH COULD GET A MESSAGE TODAY FROM ALIENS. IN AUGUST 1983 JAPANESE ASTRONOMERS SENT OUT A HELLO MESSAGE ` A SERIES OF 13 DRAWINGS SENT VIA TELESCOPE TO CONVEY HUMAN LIFE ON OUR PLANET. ITS DESTINATION WAS ALTAIR, A STAR THAT COULD POTENTIALLY HAVE LIFE AROUND IT. BUT IT'S SO FAR AWAY A REPLY WOULD TAKE NEARLY 40 YEARS TO GET HERE. TODAY IS THE EARLIEST DAY WE COULD HAVE RECEIVED A REPLY. I HAVE A FEW MISSED CALLS FROM AN UNKNOWN NUMBER, AND I WISH I HAD PICKED UP NOW. NOT SURE HOW THEY WILL GET BACK TO US. MAYBE THEY WON'T GET BACK TO US ON DAY ONE. IT'S COOL TO WAIT A COUPLE OF DAYS. MY ADVICE TO THE JAPANESE SCIENTISTS, DON'T TEXT BACK. DON'T SEND TWO TEXTS IN A ROW. MY ADVICE IS IF THE ALIENS ASK FOR ANCHOR ACCOUNT DETAILS, DON'T GIVE THEM THAT. WE ALL LOVE A HOT CHIP, BUT COULD THEY SOON BE OFF THE MENU? OUR NEXT GUEST IS A FISH-AND-CHIP SHOP OWNER WHO IS RUNNING OUT OF CHIPS AND IS CONSIDERING IMPORTING THEM THE NETHERLANDS. STARCH, SALT AND GREASY GOODNESS. OUR HUMBLE SCOOP OF CHIPS IS UNDER THREAT. PRICES ARE HEATING UP AT LOCAL FISH AND CHIP SHOPS. BUT THEY'RE NOT JUST CAUGHT IN THE COST-OF-LIVING CROSSHAIRS. SHOP OWNERS SAY THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF FROZEN CHIPS, WITH SOME FORCED TO WAIT UP TO FIVE WEEKS FOR NEW SUPPLIES. THAT'S DUE TO THE IMPACTS OF CYCLONE GABRIELLE, THE AUCKLAND FLOODS AND THE LACK OF SUN, THANKS TO ONE OF THE WETTEST YEARS ON RECORD. IN AN EMAIL TO THE PROJECT, POTATOES NZ TOLD US... WHEN DOMESTIC SUPPLY GOES DOWN, PRICES GO UP AND CHIPPIE SUPPLIERS MAY NEED TO LOOK FAR AND WIDE TO KEEP THE CHIPS COMING. SO COULD YOUR LOCAL CHIPPY BECOME ALL FISH AND NO CHIPS? JOINING US NOW FROM BLUFF IS FISH AND CHIP SHOP OWNER DIANE WILLIAMSON. DIANE, JUST HOW MUCH HAS THE PRICE OF CHIPS GONE UP FOR YOU? SO, IT WENT FROM $47 FOR 15 KILOS TO WHAT I PAID TODAY ` TO $55. SO THAT'S A 16% INCREASE THAT NOT ONLY MY BUSINESS, BUT HOSPITALITY INDUSTRIES ACROSS OUR LOVELY COUNTRY OF NEW ZEALAND ARE HAVING TO ABSORB. AND SO DOES THAT MEAN THAT A SCOOP OF CHIPS IS GONNA COST ME A LOT MORE? WELL, SOME PEOPLE IT MAY WELL. BUT DOWN HERE AT THE LOCAL DELI IN BLUFF, I'M MAKING A VERY STRONG COMMITMENT TO MY LOYAL CUSTOMER BASE THAT I'M GOING TO STICK TO MY $5 A SCOOP, AND I WILL ABSORB THIS, YET AGAIN, ANOTHER PRICE INCREASE. AH, YES! BUT WILL THE SIZE OF YOUR CHIPS' SCOOPS BE REDUCED BY SHRINKFLATION? YEAH, GOOD QUESTION. NO. SHE'S A GOOD BOSS DOWN HERE. I'M GONNA KEEP IT AT THE SAME PRICE. BUT IT'S GONNA BE PRETTY TOUGH. BUT I'M MAKING A STRONG COMMITMENT. IT'S PRETTY HARD OUT THERE IN TODAY'S WORLD ` YOU KNOW, THE PRICE OF LIVING COSTS, THE PRICE OF FUEL. WE DON'T NEED TO GO INTO TOO MUCH MORE DETAIL ON THAT. BUT IT'S HARD ENOUGH FOR THE EVERYDAY FAMILY TO HAVE FRIDAY NIGHT FISH AND CHIPS, SO I WANT THEM TO KEEP COMING BACK. SO CHIPS ARE EXPENSIVE FOR NOW. BUT IS THERE A CHANCE THEY MAY RUN OUT COMPLETELY? YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. IF THERE'S A LOCAL GROWER OUT THERE THAT'S KEEN TO GET ON BOARD AND HELP SUPPLY US, I'D BE REALLY KEEN TO TALK TO THEM. THE OTHER ALTERNATIVE IS I'LL BE LOOKING TO GO OFFSHORE TO PURCHASE THEM, AND AS I SAID, POTENTIALLY COMING FROM FURTHER AFIELD, WHICH IS A BIT UNFORTUNATE FOR OUR ECONOMY. WHERE ARE YOU THINKING? OH, I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT MAYBE SOMEWHERE UP THE NETHERLANDS. WHOA! I KNOW! THEY SAY THAT THE DUTCH THE TALLEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, SO CAN WE EXPECT THE CHIPS TO BE LONGER? (LAUGHS) I LIKE YOUR IDEA, MARK. WELL, GOOD LUCK, AND THANKS FOR YOUR TIME TONIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GUYS. I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT THIS, BUT WHEN I GET FISH AND CHIPS, I ALWAYS CHOOSE THE MOST EXPENSIVE PIECE OF FISH. THIS IS QUITE CONTROVERSIAL. BACK IN THE DAY, YOU HAD NO CHOICE. BUT NOW YOU ARE FACED WITH A DILEMMA WHEN THEY ASK WHICH FISH. EVEN AS A FOODIE, I AM NOT SURE. I GO MID RANGE. IS THIS PSYCHOTIC? PEOPLE FROM THE AUDIENCE, YOU DON'T GET TO YELL OUT! IT IS ALL BATTERED AND FRIED. THE WHOLE POINT OF FISH AND CHIPS, THAT IS WHAT YOU DID WITH THE SHARK. AND WENT TO THE FISH AND CHIP SHOP. WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT IS WHO DOES GOOD FISH, AND WHO DOES GOOD CHIPS, BECAUSE YOU NEED BOTH. WE HAVE TENDED TO FIND THE ONES THAT DO FISH AND CHIPS WELL ARE DIFFERENT. WE GO TO 2 DIFFERENT STORES. THAT IS WORSE! WHY DON'T THE AUDIENCE PIPE UP ON THAT? DO YOU GET YOUR BUTLER TO DRIVE? I AM WITH MARK. JUST ORDER FISH AND CHIPS. IS ABOUT THE BATTER. THE ONLY PLACE I MAKE AN EXCEPTION IS IF THEY SERVE BLUE CARD IN THE SOUTH ISLAND. IS IF THEY SERVE BLUE COD IN THE SOUTH ISLAND. ANY THEORIES ON HOW TO FIND A GOOD SHOP? I HAVE A PASSIONATE VIEW ON THIS. THE FURTHER AWAY FROM THE BEAUTIFUL BEACH THE BETTER. NO DISRESPECT TO MY HOME BEACH IN NELSON. THE FURTHER INLAND YOU GO THE BETTER. HANMER SPRINGS, PALMERSTON NORTH, AMAZING. THE PROBLEM IS YOU. IT IS YOUR PERCEPTION. YOU THINK IT IS BECAUSE IT IS BESIDE THE SEA, YOUR PERCEPTION AS IT WILL BE GOOD. YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE OPPOSITE. FELLAS, WE HAVE DISCUSSED EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE. THIS IS NEW ZEALAND! THIS IS THE BIG ISSUE! MAKE IT AN ELECTION ISSUE. ALL RIGHT, GUYS, I HAVE A VIDEO FOR YOU NOW WHICH COMBINES TWO OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS ` BASKETBALL AND GENDER REVEAL FAILS. IT WAS BLUE. AND THAT'S STILL THE BEST GENDER REVEAL I'VE EVER SEEN. I FEEL FOR HIM. IT'S TIME FOR 'BEAT THAT'. THIS WEEK WE WANT TO FIND THE BEST WEDDING DANCE. UP FIRST TONIGHT IS THIS FIRST DANCE FROM RAMON AND ADAM. THIS WEDDING LOOKS LIKE IT IS WILD. AND REBECCA DELIVERED A FANTASTIC DANCE, TO THE DELIGHT OF THEIR FAMILY. BEAUTIFULLY FILMED. THAT STUNNING! DEVIN AND REBEKAH ROCKED THEIR FIRST DANCE. LOOK AT THE FOOTWORK. THEY HAVE BEEN PRACTISING. IS THERE ANYONE AT THE WEDDING? POOR TURNOUT. THEY ARE BEHIND THE CAMERA! THE DANCING IS AMAZING, BUT THE CROWD IS NOT THERE. WE SHOULD HAVE FOCUSED LESS ON THE DANCE AND MORE ON THE GUEST LIST. OUR CHAMPION ALL WEEK HAS THIS CLASSIC MOVE. OOOOH! INCREDIBLE. IT REMAINS CHAMPION. I ONLY REALISED LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT IT WAS A FEAT OF STRENGTH FROM THE MAN, BUT IT IS NOT EASY FOR THE WOMAN. IF SHE WASN'T INCREDIBLE POWERFUL DANCER SHE IS, IT WOULD BE LIKE HOLDING UP A PIECE OF OVERCOOKED SPAGHETTI. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT THAT, SEND YOUR CLIP TO OUR WEBSITE AND YOU COULD KICK-START YOUR HONEYMOON WITH A TWO-NIGHT STAY FOR TWO AT THE CANOPY CAMPING ESCAPE OF YOUR CHOICE. HEAD TO OUR WEBSITE TO ENTER NOW. THERE'S MORE TO COME ON THE PROJECT. WELCOME BACK TO THE PROJECT. LET'S FINISH TONIGHT'S SHOW ON A HIGH ` WITH A CUTE VIDEO OF A GRANDMOTHER PREPARING SOME MEATBALL FOR HER GRANDSON. HERE I AM, TRYING TO HAMMER OUT A MEATBALL. FOR MY GRANDSON. I JUST BROKE MY FREAKING KNIFE! I LOVE HER ACCENT SO MUCH. AND IF HER GRANDSON ISN'T HUNGRY, HE'S GONNA BE LUCKY SHE DOESN'T HAVE THAT KNIFE. WHAT A LADY. SHE WANTED JUST ONE MEATBALL, AND DIDN'T WANT THE HASSLE. YOU HAVE TO DEFROST THE WHOLE THING. TOP TIP FROM JESSE MULLIGAN. THURSDAY IS A BIG NIGHT OF LIVE COMEDY ON THREE ` DAI HENWOOD'S HOSTING A STAND-UP COMEDY SHOW TO BENEFIT THE CANCER SOCIETY. TOMORROW, WE'LL CROSS TO PAUL EGO AND MEL BRACEWELL BEFORE THEY HIT THE STAGE. THAT'S IT FOR US. THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR, CONTACT, AND THANKS TO MARK RICHARDSON FOR JOINING US TONIGHT. ALL-NEW DAVID LOMAS INVESTIGATES IS NEXT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. SEE YOU TOMORROW. CAPTIONS BY JAMES BROWN, MAEVE KELLY AND LENA ERAKOVICH.