I'M MIKE McROBERTS. AND I'M JANIKA TER ELLEN. AND NOW, ON THE PROJECT ` WE'RE ALL TYING OUR SHOES WRONG? YEAH, THIS HAS BLOWN OUR MINDS. APPARENTLY THE WAY YOU TIE YOUR SHOELACES AFFECTS THE LIKELIHOOD THEY'LL COME UNDONE. SO HOW DO YOU DO IT RIGHT? FOR MILLENNIA, PHILOSOPHERS HAVE STRUGGLED WITH THE BIG QUESTIONS ` YOU'VE GOT YOUR DOUBLE BUNNY EARS; HOOP AROUND THE LOOP. THE FLASHY-FAST TWIST AND PINCH. NAH ` ALL WRONG. THERE'S EVEN A TED TALK ABOUT IT. THERE'S A STRONG FORM AND A WEAK FORM OF THIS KNOT. YOU CAN SEE THAT THE BOW WILL ORIENT ITSELF DOWN THE LONG AXIS OF THE SHOE. THAT'S THE WEAK FORM OF THE KNOT. BUT NOT TO WORRY ` IF WE START OVER AND SIMPLY GO THE OTHER DIRECTION AROUND THE BOW, WE GET THIS ` THE STRONG FORM OF THE KNOT THAT WILL COME UNTIED LESS OFTEN. IT WILL LET YOU DOWN LESS. AND NOT ONLY THAT, IT LOOKS BETTER. AND IT WORKS. ONE OF HUMANKIND'S GREATEST QUESTIONS FINALLY ANSWERED. AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL, BUT NEW ZEALAND'S MOST FAMOUS COBBLER CERTAINLY DOES. LET'S HAVE HIM EXPLAIN. JOINING US NOW, OUR FAVOURITE KIWI COBBLER FROM TAURANGA, SHANE BARR. SHANE, CAN YOU QUICKLY PLEASE SHOW US WHAT YOU'RE DOING WHEN YOU TIE 'THE BETTER WAY'? A BETTER WAY IS JUST TO GET THE LEFT ONE OVER THE TOP OF THE RIGHT ONE; PULL THAT SNUG, AND THEN JUST GET THE RIGHT ONE OVER THE TOP OF THE LEFT ONE AND JUST PULL IN NICE AND TIGHT LIKE THAT. RIGHTO, IT LOOKS PRETTY. BUT WHY, IN FACT, IS IT BETTER? WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THERE IS THE BITS OF THE LACE ARE LAID TOGETHER FOR QUITE A LONG DISTANCE, AND SO THERE'S LOTS MORE FRICTION. WHEREAS IN YOUR GRANNY KNOT HERE, IT'S MORE STRAIGHT ACROSS LIKE THIS, SO IT'S BARELY TOUCHING, AND THEY TEND TO JIGGLE LOOSE PRETTY QUICKLY. THIS IS` WHEN I HEARD 'YOU'RE TYING YOUR SHOES WRONG', I ROLLED MY EYES. BUT THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DEAL WITH AT WORK ON A REGULAR BASIS, RIGHT? IT IS, YEAH. PEOPLE COME IN TO BUY NEW LACES BECAUSE THEY'RE UPSET, BECAUSE THEIR LACES ARE COMING UNDONE, AND WHEN YOU CAN SEE THEIR LACES ARE PERFECTLY FINE, AND YOU'RE TRYING TO JUST, LIKE, BROACH THE SUBJECT ` 'HEY, MATE, YOU MIGHT BE JUST WANTING TO TIE THEM PROPERLY.' THEY` MOST PEOPLE, THEY DO TAKE A DOUBLE-LOOK AND THINK, 'MAYBE HE'S A BIT NUTS.' BUT, LIKE, THE OTHER DAY I HAD QUITE A WELL-RESPECTED OLDER GENTLEMAN COME IN, AND I COULD SEE WHAT HIS PROBLEM WAS. ONE WAS LIKE THIS ONE, AND WAS BEAUTIFUL SHOES. AND SO I JUST, YOU KNOW, 'GRAB A SEAT. 'I'LL JUST SHOW YOU SOMETHING IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.' AND HE LISTENED. AND ONCE HE GOT IT, HE WAS REALLY STOKED. AND HE WAVES OUT EVERY TIME HE GOES PAST NOW. BUT IT WAS A RISK, I THINK, TALKING TO HIM. THEY LOOK BETTER, TOO, I THINK. BUT FOR OUR VIEWERS WHO ARE SEEING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME, CAN YOU PLEASE JUST EXPLAIN ONE MORE TIME REALLY SLOWLY? SO THE LEFT ONE OVER THE TOP OF THE RIGHT ONE. PULL THAT TIGHT. AND THEN THIS. RIGHT ONE... OVER THE TOP OF THE LEFT ONE, THEN PULL IT TIGHT. SO IT'S LIKE LEFT OVER RIGHT, THEN RIGHT OVER LEFT. YOU CAN'T DO BOTH THE SAME. OTHERWISE YOU END UP WITH THIS JOKER OVER HERE. AH. AMAZING. HMM. WHAT ABOUT JUST A GOOD OLD DOUBLE KNOT? THAT'S HOW I TIE MY KIDS' SHOES; HOW MOST KIDS TIE THEIR SHOES, BUT THEN THEY'RE ALSO KIND OF STUCK IN THEM FOREVER. ANY ADVICE ON THAT SITUATION? YEAH. THE BEST THING IS TO BUY LACES THE RIGHT LENGTH TO START WITH. ONCE THEY'RE DONE UP, YOU WANT ABOUT 15 TO 20CM HERE, AND THAT WAY YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO TIE A NORMAL LACE AND NOT DO THE DOUBLE KNOT BUSINESS, WHICH ENDS UP BEING A PAIN IN THE NECK, BECAUSE THEY DON'T UNDO THEM, THEN THEY WRECK THE BACK OF THE SHOE WHEN YOU'RE DRAGGING YOUR FOOT OUT. ARE YOU POPULAR AT DINNER PARTIES? I WOULD THINK YOU WOULD BE. I KNOW, IT'S WEIRD. PEOPLE ARE LIKE, 'I'VE JUST GOT THIS ONE THING I'D LIKE TO SEE CAN BE FIXED.' AND NEK MINNIT, YOU'RE SITTING WITH SHOES AT THE DINNER TABLE. (LAUGHTER) SHANE, YOU'VE CHANGED MY WORLD. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TONIGHT. NO WORRIES. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. THIS IS THE PROJECT. KARA RICKARD IS HERE! I LOVE HOW WE WERE ALL MESMERISED BY A MAN TYING SHOES AS IF IT WAS THE MOST REVOLUTIONARIES THINK WE HAVE SEEN. BUT THERE IS. I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS A WRONG WAY. I'VE CHANGED, AND THEY HAVEN'T COME UNDONE. I SUSPECT YOU STILL HAVEN'T QUITE FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO IT. YOU'VE DECIDED TO EMBARRASS ME. I CLOSED MY EYES ENTERED THE LEFT OVER RIGHT, AND I THINK I CAN POSSIBLY DO IT. DO IT THE UNNATURAL WAY AND YOU WILL PROBABLY GET IT. HEY, IF YOU'RE STILL A BIT CONFUSED ON HOW TO DO IT RIGHT, WE'VE GOT SHANE'S EXPLAINER VIDEO ON OUR FACEBOOK. ALSO TONIGHT, RUGBY GREAT DAN CARTER MEETS UP WITH JEREMY, AND REVEALS HOW THE LOCKDOWNS CONVINCED HIM TO QUIT THE GAME. THAT'S NEXT. AND SHOULD WE TURN BACK THE CLOCK AND BECOME A PART OF AUSSIE ONCE AGAIN? WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT WHY THIS MIGHT NOT BE SUCH A BAD IDEA, JUST AHEAD. ALL RIGHT. THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO SAY FOR A WHILE, BUT I HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT TIME TO ACTUALLY PUT IT OUT THERE. BUT I THINK THERE'S NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO` UP THE WAHS. OK, NOW THAT'S OUT THERE, LET'S DO THE DAILY DOSE. FIRST UP, WE HEAD TO A PLAYGROUND, AND GET A PRETTY HONEST REVIEW OF A SLIDE. IT'S NOT A GREAT SLIDE. IT KNOCKS THEM AROUND. I'M NEVER RIDING AGAIN. LUCKILY THEY CUT THE VIDEO SHORT OR I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE HEARD HIS FIRST SWEAR WORD. NEXT, WE HAVE A VERY CUTE MOMENT WHERE SOME KIDS HAVE SURPRISED A MUM WITH BREAKFAST IN BED. CHECK IT OUT AND SEE IF YOU CAN WORK OUT WHICH CHILD MADE WHAT. WHAT DID YOU MAKE? I DIDN'T MAKE ANYTHING. DON'T WORRY, SOPHIE. WAIT TIL MUM TASTES THAT DISGUSTING SMOOTHIE. YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU WEREN'T A PART OF IT. FINALLY, NOT A FUNNY VIDEO ` AN INCREDIBLE VIDEO OF A SKYDIVING STUNT WHICH COULD BE STRAIGHT OUT OF A MISSION IMPOSSIBLE MOVIE. HE JUMPS FROM THAT SKYDIVER ONTO THIS OTHER ONE. THAT IS TERRIFYING. I DON'T NEED TO GO THAT FAR. I GET THE SAME THRILL WHEN I CHANGE LANES ON THE MOTORWAY WITHOUT MY WHEELS TOUCHING THE BUMPS. THAT WAS YOUR DAILY DOSE! TOMORROW, THE ALL BLACKS PLAY A WARM-UP AGAINST THE SPRINGBOKS AHEAD OF THE WORLD CUP. SO WHAT ADVICE MIGHT A FOUR-TIME WORLD CUP VETERAN HAVE FOR THE CURRENT ABS? JEREMY WENT TO FIND OUT, AND SAT DOWN WITH THE LEGENDARY DAN CARTER. BORN LEESTON, NEW ZEALAND, A FATHER OF FOUR, HUSBAND OF ONE, AUTHOR, MODEL, PISCES, BANANA KICKER AND UNICEF AMBASSADOR, WITH HIS OWN LIBRARY CARD AND HIS OWN FRAGRANCE; FROM SOUTHBRIDGE RUGBY CLUB VIA THE CRUSADERS TO ALL BLACK FIRST FIVE. HE'S RUGBY'D EVERYWHERE AND SCORED THE MOST TEST POINTS EVER BY ANYONE EVER EVER. THE WORLD'S BEST RUGBY PLAYER, ASTERISK ` PLEASE WELCOME DANIEL WILLIAM CARTER ONZM, AKA DAN CARTER. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I LIKE THE ASTERISK, BECAUSE I'M USUALLY NOT THE BEST RUGBY PLAYER. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? COMFORTABLE WITH THIS SORT OF DISTANCE` IT FEELS LIKE WE'RE A LONG WAY APART. YEAH, YOU CLEARLY LISTENED TO MY DEMANDS. I CAN'T GET TOO CLOSE. OH, I'M HAPPY TO DO AN INTERVIEW AS LONG AS THERE'S AT LEAST A METRE AND A HALF BETWEEN US. TELL US ABOUT THE BOOK. SO THIS BOOK'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT. MORE WANTING TO BE A LITTLE BIT VULNERABLE ABOUT THAT TRANSITION OUT OF RUGBY. I KNEW THAT I COULDN'T PLAY RUGBY FOREVER, AS MUCH AS I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO, BUT THE CLOSER IT GOT, THE MORE I WANTED TO PUSH IT AWAY AND NOT THINK ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THERE WAS THIS FEAR OF THIS WORD 'RETIREMENT'. I'M IN MY 30s, AND RETIREMENT'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER. I SHOULDN'T BE THINKING ABOUT RETIREMENT UNTIL I'M IN MY MID-60s. WHEREAS PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGING ME TO THINK OF RETIREMENT AND IT'S NOT EVEN ON MY RADAR. SO` JUST KEEP GOING. KEEP GOING, EXACTLY. YEAH, STICK AROUND. JUST LOW-LEVEL STICK AROUND, AND THEY JUST NEVER GET RID OF YOU. THE COCKROACH. YEAH. THE CORBETT COCKROACH. THANK YOU. COULD BE MY NEW NICKNAME. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) I KNEW EVERY MORNING WHEN I GOT OUT OF BED WHEN I WAS PLAYING RUGBY PROFESSIONALLY, I WANTED TO BE THE BEST RUGBY PLAYER I POSSIBLY COULD. THAT'S WHAT WAS DRIVING ME EACH AND EVERY DAY. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU STOP, AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, 'WHAT IS IT?' 'WHAT'S MY PURPOSE AFTER RUGBY?' I CAN'T GO INTO THIS NEXT CHAPTER OF MY LIFE AT THE LEVEL THAT I FINISHED MY PROFESSIONAL RUGBY. I NEEDED TO... TO SORT OF BE A LOT MORE HUMBLE. DID HONOUR HELP, BY, LIKE, THE MORNING YOU WOKE UP AFTER YOU ANNOUNCED YOUR RETIREMENT, AND SHE'S LIKE, 'TAKE THE BINS OUT.' YOU KNOW, DID SHE HELP GROUND YOU WITH SORT OF, 'YOU'RE LOOKING AFTER THE KIDS TODAY. I'M OFF.' I WAS ABOUT TO SAY IT WASN'T ONLY THE BINS, IT WAS FOUR CHILDREN AS WELL. SO SHE'D BE OBVIOUSLY DEALING WITH THE LION'S SHARE OF FOUR CHILDREN AS I WAS PLAYING RUGBY, AND IN A WEIRD WAY WHEN I WAS SO FIXATED ON BEING THE BEST RUGBY PLAYER I POSSIBLY COULD, THERE WERE TIMES, YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU'RE KIND OF PUTTING THE FAMILY SECOND. AND THEN THROUGH THE PANDEMIC WHEN WE WERE ALL IN LOCKDOWN, IT KIND OF PUT EVERYTHING INTO PERSPECTIVE A LITTLE BIT MORE. 'WHY AM I PLAYING? WHAT AM I CHASING?' I THOUGHT I WAS PROVIDING FOR MY FAMILY BY PLAYING IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE WORLD. SOON REALISED THE KIDS DIDN'T CARE WHETHER I WAS PLAYING PROFESSIONAL RUGBY OR IN FRONT OF BIG STADIUMS. THEY JUST WANTED ME AROUND. SO IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS AT THAT TIME THAT IT WAS TIME TO HANG UP THE BOOTS, AND I DID EXACTLY THAT. FAMILY'S VERY GROUNDING, BECAUSE I'M QUITE FAMOUS, AND MY FAMILY COULD NOT CARE LESS. (LAUGHS) THERE IS THAT FAMOUS BANANA, OF COURSE, WITH THE CRUSADERS. WAS THAT INTENTIONAL? WAS THERE WIND HAPPENING? DID YOU` OH, THERE WAS A LOT OF WIND. AND I FELT IF I KICKED IT NORMALLY, THE WIND WOULD JUST BLOW IT BACK. SO I WANTED TO ACTUALLY USE THE BANANA KICK TO ALMOST ELEVATE THE WIND EVEN MORE. THE TRUTH IS, I SHANKED IT, THOUGH. (LAUGHS) BUT IT WORKED IN MY FAVOUR, BECAUSE IT MADE IT BANANA EVEN MORE SO. SO IT WAS` IT WAS PLANNED. ALL RIGHT. ANY ADVICE TO THE ABs GOING INTO THE WORLD CUP? TO WIN THE WORLD CUP, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO COME FROM BEHIND. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH OPPOSITION, HAVING ALL THE MOMENTUM AND BEING ABLE TO KEEP THAT SELF-BELIEF AND JUST FIND A WAY IS REALLY IMPORTANT. AND WHAT ARE OUR CHANCES? CHANCES ARE GOOD. ABSOLUTELY. GOING ALL THE WAY. THAT'S THE ONE. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU SAY? WELL I'M NOT GONNA SAY WE'RE NOT GONNA WIN. (LAUGHS) OH, GREAT STUFF. DAN CARTER, IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE, MATE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU. GREAT INTERVIEW. LAST NIGHT, I'M SURE YOU TOLD ME YOU SMELLED HIM. THAT WAS EDITED FOR TIME, BUT I SMELLED HIM TO SEE IF HE WAS WEARING HIS FRAGRANCE. HE WASN'T, BUT HE HAS AN ALLURING MASK ABOUT HIM. I DID NOT KNOW HE HAS FOUR CHILDREN. AND YOU CAN REMAIN A SEX SYMBOL. A BIT OF A STRETCH BETWEEN YOU AND DAN CARTER. ARE YOU A FAN? I'M A BIG FAN. AND HE IS UNDENIABLY HOT AND HANDSOME, BUT NOT MY KIND. THAT IS HURTFUL. HE IS ON BILLBOARDS ALL AROUND TOWN, AND HE LOOKS UNDENIABLY HANDSOME. HE IS RUGGED, LOOKS LIKE HE'S LIVED A LITTLE. I COULD GET A JACKET LIKE THAT. DAN CARTER'S NEW BOOK 'THE ART OF WINNING' IS OUT NOW! IT IS AVAILABLE PERFECTLY FOR FATHER'S DAY. IT'S TIME FOR BEAT THAT. THIS WEEK, WE WANT TO FIND THE BEST WEDDING DANCE! UP FIRST TONIGHT IS FLYNN GETTING THE PARTY STARTED WITH HIS UNCLE! THEY ARE MOVES. THANKS FOR SENDING THAT IN. SOME GREAT MOVES FROM LEXI AND NICK HERE. VERY WELL DONE, GUYS. A LOT OF WORK GOES INTO PREPPING FOR THESE. NOW, OUR CURRENT BEAT THAT CHAMPION IS A LIFT LIKE THE ONE FROM DIRTY DANCING. BUT WE GOT ANOTHER LIFT TODAY ` CHECK OUT RICCO AND MICHAELA! GROUP EFFORT. IT'S PRETTY GOOD. THE THREE OF THEM. THAT'S RIGHT. AND ENJOY OUR CHAMPION AGAIN. THAT IS AMAZING. CONGRATULATIONS, MR AND MRS CHIRON. YOU'VE PICKED UP A TWO-NIGHT STAY FOR TWO AT THE CANOPY CAMPING ESCAPE OF YOUR CHOICE! NEXT WEEK ` TO CELEBRATE FATHER'S DAY, WE WANT YOUR BEST DAD JOKE! DADS, SEND US A VIDEO, KIDS, SEND US A VIDEO ` WE WANT TO HEAR THE MOST CLASSIC DAD GAG THERE IS. THE WINNER WILL PICK UP A $500 GIFT VOUCHER FROM OUR FRIENDS AT NOT SOCKS. HEAD TO OUR WEBSITE TO ENTER NOW! AND BEFORE YOU PANIC ` FATHER'S DAY IS NEXT WEEKEND, NOT THIS ONE. DO YOU EAT IN THE SUPERMARKET BEFORE YOU PAY FOR YOUR FOOD? YOU'RE NOT ALONE! WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT A SURPRISING NEW POLL NEXT ON THE PROJECT. I'M HERE WITH EMILE, WHO IS AN AUCKLANDER WHO WORKS FOR MAINFREIGHT. HE'S GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT'S COMING UP, SO EMILE, READ THAT! THANKS, JEREMY. IF YOU GRAZE FROM THE TROLLEY WHILE YOU SHOP, OUR NEXT STORY IS FOR YOU, ON THE PROJECT. WELCOME BACK. A KIWI MP MADE HEADLINES ACROSS THE TASMAN FOR SUGGESTING NEW ZEALAND BECOME A PART OF AUSTRALIA. SOUNDS LIKE AN AWFUL IDEA ` BUT WHAT IF IT ISN'T? WE'LL TAKE A LOOK NEXT. BUT FIRST ` IS SNACKING ON FOOD IN THE SUPERMARKET EVER OK? A ZM RADIO POLL FOUND 16% OF PEOPLE THINK IT'S JUST FINE; 84% SAID NO WAY, WITH MANY ADMITTING THEY'D FEEL TOO EMBARRASSED TO EVEN TRY IT. A MAJORITY OF THE 'YES' VOTES WERE PARENTS WHO LET KIDS NIBBLE TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED. A COUNTDOWN SPOKESPERSON SAID THEY PREFER CUSTOMERS PAY FIRST BECAUSE IT'S 'A CHALLENGE TO WEIGH A HALF-MUNCHED APPLE'. I'VE GOT A SOLUTION TO CATCH THEM, THESE CRIMINALS` WHEN YOU GO INTO COUNTDOWN, YOU JUMP ON THE SCALES, AND WHEN YOU LEAVE YOU JUMP ON THE SCALES AND MEASURE THE DIFFERENCE. TO BE CLEAR WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE STEALING, BUT EATING FOOD AND THEN PAYING FOR IT. I 100% DO IT ALL THE TIME. YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR IT, SO YES I DON'T STEAL FROM THE PICK AND MIX, BUT IT IS JUST A WRAPPER I CAN SCAN AT THE END. MAYBE I FINISH WORK AND I'M THIRSTY` YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GO TO THE SUPERMARKET AND YOU ARE SUDDENLY STARVING. WHO IS THAT WEIRD GIRL DRINKING A BEER IN THE SPICES AISLE? I GUESS IT MIGHT NOT WEIGH. THEY GIVE YOU FREE FOOD IN THE SUPERMARKET THOUGH, WITH THE FREE FRUIT. THAT IS FOR KIDS. STOP STEALING THE KIDS' FRUIT. I LEARNED TO TIE MY SHOELACES TODAY AND NOT TO STEAL FRUIT FROM KIDS. AN OUTGOING MP HAS USED HIS FINAL SPEECH IN PARLIAMENT TO NOT ONLY THANK HIS CATS BUT ALSO TO SUGGEST NEW ZEALAND SHOULD BECOME PART OF AUSTRALIA. SO DOES HE HAVE A POINT? THE NOW-FORMER MP FOR HAMILTON EAST, JAMIE STRANGE, USED HIS LAST MOMENTS IN THE DEBATING CHAMBER TO DO A BIT OF A MIC DROP. EVERY TIME I VISIT AUSTRALIA, OFTEN PONDER THE THOUGHT ` 'WILL WE EVER BECOME ONE COUNTRY?' NEW ZEALANDERS SHOULDN'T RULE THAT OUT. AUSTRALIAN MEDIA WERE ON IT LIKE STEVE IRWIN JUMPING ON A CROC. HAVE A LOOK AT THIS LITTLE BLIGHTER. THERE ARE ABOUT 670,000 NEW ZEALANDERS IN AUSTRALIA ALREADY. SO WHY NOT GO FOR IT? WELL, HOLD UP, COBBER. HERE ARE A COUPLE OF THINGS TO CONSIDER. OUR FLAGS ARE SO DIFFERENT. HOW WILL WE EVER REACH A COMPROMISE ON THAT? (VOCALISES) HAS ANYONE THOUGHT ABOUT ALL THE HEMSWORTH ADMIN? DO WE REALLY WANT TO DEAL WITH LIAM? MAYBE TASMANIA COULD TAKE LUKE ON SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE LEADERSHIP. OUR PRIME MINISTERS GENERALLY LIKE THEIR SNACK FOOD COOKED... I ENJOY ONIONS. ...AND THEY WISELY AVOID UKULELES. # I'MA (BLEEP). CAN WE REALLY GIVE UP CONTROL TO THESE DORKS? OUR PRIME MINISTERS HAVE ALL BEEN SERIOUS FUNCTIONING ADULTS. (LOUD SQUELCHING) VOICEOVER: 'MM-HM. MM.' VOICEOVER: 'AW, RITCHIE, I LOVE YOU.' OH, HERE'S A PLUS, THOUGH ` IF WE TOOK THE NAME AUSTRALIA, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO SCROLL ALL THE WAY THROUGH DROPDOWN LISTS ON THOSE INTERNET FORMS... (VOCALISES) ...AND MAYBE WE'D FINALLY APPEAR ON THE RISK BOARD. BUT DO THEY EVEN WANT US? (VOCALISES) I'M THINKING ABOUT THIS MORE AND MORE. WE DESPERATELY WANT TO BE AUSTRALIAN. LOOK AT THIS TV SHOW ` IT AS AN EXACT REPLICA OF THE AUSTRALIAN ONE. BUT IF WE MERGED, YOU WOULD BE MADE REDUNDANT. WE WON'T HAVE TWO OF EVERYTHING. IMAGINE THE MONEY WILL BE SAVING. DOES THAT MEAN WE HAVE TO GET ALL THE POISONOUS SNAKES AND SPIDERS? MAKE IT A DOOMSDAY BUNKER, OR CONTINUE WHAT THEY STARTED, AND TURN IT INTO A PRISON ISLANDS. THESE ARE ALL AMAZING IDEAS. WELL, WE DECIDED TO DO A SURVEY OF AUSTRALIANS TO SEE WHAT THEY THINK OF THIS IDEA. HERE'S WHAT THEY SAID. NO, IT IS SILLY. MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY. SEEMS STATISTICALLY ROBUST. THERE YOU HAVE IT ` THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, AND IT'S A HARD 'NO'. IT'S TIME FOR SCENES OF NEW ZEALAND. AND WHICH I SHARE WITH YOU PHOTOS AND VIDEOS THAT SUM UP LIFE AND OUR BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY. THE WARRIORS PLAY AT 8pm TONIGHT. AND, YEAH, YOU SUPPORT THEM EACH WEEK, BUT HOW COMMITTED ARE YOU? DO YOU HAVE THE NUMBER PLATE? THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD BE MORE COMMITTED IS TO GET A TATTOO ` A TATTOO OF SHAUN JOHNSON'S FACE OVER YOUR OWN FACE. DON'T GIVE PEOPLE IDEAS. I WAS WAITING FOR THE PHOTO OF THAT TO TURN UP. IT WOULD NOT BE GOOD. DON'T ENCOURAGE THAT. DO YOU EVER GET THE FEELING THAT ANIMALS ARE PLOTTING AGAINST US? THAT'S WHAT ONE OF OUR VIEWERS THOUGHT WHEN HE CAME ACROSS A BUNCH OF COWS HOLDING A SECRET NIGHT-TIME MEETING ON HIS FARM. YES, IT LOOKS SINISTER, BUT THEY APPARENTLY VOTED TO KEEP EATING GRASS AND MOOING. I HEARD FROM A TEACHER THIS WEEK WHO WANTED TO SHARE THE WORK OF A GIFTED STUDENT. THE KIDS HAD BEEN DROPPING MENTOS INTO COKE BOTTLES AS AN EXPERIMENT. HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED NEXT ` 'SOON AFTER THAT, I SAW THIS BIG LONG COKE MONSTER SHOOTING UP 'INTO THE SKY. I COULD ALSO SEE THE CHILDREN RUNNING INTO THE COKE. 'FINALLY THERE WAS COKE EVERYWHERE.' COKE EVERYWHERE? SOUNDS LIKE MY KINDA PARTY. NICE TO BE ON THE LAST EPISODE OF THE PROJECT. THERE'S MORE TO COME ON THE PROJECT. WELCOME BACK TO THE PROJECT. IT'S TIME FOR US TO TURN THE CAMERAS AROUND AND FOCUS ON YOU, NEW ZILD ` IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT VIBES! THIS WEEK'S QUESTION, WHICH HAS GONE VIRAL ONLINE ` WHAT TOPIC COULD YOU GIVE A 30-MINUTE PRESENTATION ON WITHOUT ANY PREPARATION? WELL, THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF RIGHT AWAY IS, UH, 30 MINUTES ON WHY I COME DOWN HERE. (CHUCKLES) I FIND THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO COME DOWN HERE AND MEET OTHER PEOPLE. CARAVANNING. GARDENS, PROBABLY. I LOVE GARDENS. THE PROS AND CONS ABOUT MOVING TO NEW ZEALAND FROM SOUTH AFRICA. LIVING IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE WORLD. COOKING. TEACHING PILATES. ROWING, PROBABLY. LIKE, THE SPORT ROWING. MINE WOULD ALSO BE IN ROWING, BUT ON COXSWAIN. SO I'M A COXSWAIN. SO THAT'S A SMALL PERSON WHO STEERS THE BOAT AND DIRECTS THE CREW. MUPPETS. I'VE GOT MY OWN MUPPETS THAT I TALK WITH AND STUFF, SO I COULD DO A 30-MINUTE PRESENTATION WITH THEM. EASY AS PIE, OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD. WHAT DO YOU TYPICALLY USE THEM FOR? SCARING PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD BECAUSE THEY EITHER THINK IT'S A CHILD OR A DOG. AND WHEN I TALK TO THEM, THEY SORT OF FREAK OUT A LITTLE BIT AND GO, 'OH MY GOODNESS, 'I DIDN'T REALISE THOSE THINGS SPOKE ` OR EVEN STILL EXISTED.' JACK INHIBITORS. IT'S ADVANCED TREATMENT FOR ALL AUTOIMMUNE DISEASES. MINING IN AUSTRALIA. HOW TO EXTRACT THE VALUE FROM THE MINERALS WHERE PEOPLE HAVEN'T DONE THAT SORT OF THING BEFORE. SO, YOU SEEM LIKE A VERY SMART COUPLE. (BOTH LAUGH) THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU. PROBABLY RUGBY LEAGUE FOR ME. I'M A BIG FOOTY FAN, SO ME AND MY YOUNG FELLA ARE OVER FOR` TO WATCH THE WARRIORS VS DRAGONS GAME THIS WEEK. GO, THE DRAGONS. GO, THE DRAGONS. UP THE WAHS. I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND. THAT'S IT FOR US. THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR, CONTACT, AND THANKS TO KARA RICKARD FOR JOINING US TONIGHT. YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE, HOLMES AND WATSON, IS NEXT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. SEE YOU MONDAY.