- My name is Rebecca Allum, and I am an incomplete tetraplegic from a horse accident five years ago. I broke C4, C5, C7. - Balanced? - It completely paralysed me. - You right? - SIGHS: Right. - Off we go. - It's been a long recovery process. I have some mobility; I can walk with a stroller. I've got back on my horses. I'm back driving my car. I say to anybody out there, just don't give up. Follow your dreams and follow your passion. Captions by Kitty Wasasala. Edited by Jessie Puru. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023 (FOLKSY MUSIC) - This is my property. I've been here about nine years, so five years since my accident. Thankfully, I've been able to keep my property and continue to live here surrounded by dogs and horses. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) No bot eggs or anything? - WOMAN: Um, I haven't seen any yet. - It's been a pretty good season for no bot eggs, thank goodness. - It's actually been really good, hey? - Horses are amazing. They're just beautiful. Their love is unconditional. I couldn't imagine life without them, I really couldn't. I've always loved horses. I remember entering competitions when I was, like, 10 to win a pony. You know, I was absolutely convinced I was going to win one. Goodness knows what we would've done with it if I had cos we had no land. - Becky was always a horsey person. She loved horses right from when we were teeny tiny. And we were definitely not, like, horsey people. There was just no way she was ever gonna have a horse. - Wasn't until I was 18 and left home that I managed to get my first horse, and it was a rescue thoroughbred. I actually bought him because he had a big cut on his head and I felt sorry for him, so I bought him out of sympathy, but he turned out to be amazing. I think I got back into it when Brianna was 4, Paris was 2. Yeah, then the girls started getting into their riding. I was very independent. I was a truck and trailer driver and a competitive runner at the same time as being a showjumper. So life was pretty full-on, and I looked after this property by myself. - She often had some quite sort of hairy accidents with the horses. A lot of us in the family got a little bit used to hearing that she was in hospital and that one of the horses had perhaps reacted badly. And we're like, 'Oh, there go the horses again.' - It's what her and my sisters loved doing. I mean, you can't let injuries and stuff like this stop you from doing the things you enjoy. - I've broken my ribs three times. I've had punctured lungs twice, ruptured spleen, broken three wrists, two toes. I'm a slow learner, apparently. (LAUGHS) The day of my accident, I'd hopped on a rescue horse ` one of many that I've had on the property who I was told was dangerous. My gut feeling was that she was sore, but I ignored my gut feeling. And I cantered her once. Then I came around here and I thought, I'll do one last canter before I unsaddle her. And she threw the most massive buck. I ducked my head under and landed on my neck. I knew I'd broken my neck. I wasn't knocked out; I knew straight away. Honestly, I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe properly. Thankfully, a paramedic was driving past when it happened and she said to her partner, 'I think we need to turn around and go and check on her.' My son was inside in the house. - We came running out of the house. The neighbour was with me cos she'd come to the door and then came running down. Mum was lying down over near the arena over there. Could tell by the way she was lying on her back and not moving around a whole heap that it wasn't good. - The paramedic straight away ordered an ambulance. It felt like forever to get here. When it did arrive, they immediately put the neck brace on and put me on to a flat board, then the helicopter was called in. - Then it was just a waiting game and trying to, I guess, comfort Mum as much as possible because I guess that was kind of the only thing you thought you could do to help. - The helicopter ride was torture. I actually was begging to` to die. And Jacob was with me. And the only place I had feeling was my face, so the whole 45 minute flight, I was asking him to stroke my face. - Just felt bad. Just wished you could do more. Just` Yeah. (INHALES SHARPLY) Like I say, just in complete shock of what was unfolding. And that kind of lasted a fair while, it wasn't just the day. It was, you know, months of trying to process actually what happened. - It was pretty scary being in HDU. People were dying in there. - All the hospital's pretty blurry. You kind of see her in the bed, but they didn't know too much. And I think it was when they transferred her to the spinal unit in Auckland. That was a big eye-opener for me on how bad it was. - She couldn't obviously feed herself. It was exactly like it was when she used to feed him, when he was just a little baby ` a sort of reversal. And they were both laughing about that, which was really nice. But it was a hard, hard couple of weeks. - Well, I was in the spinal unit for seven weeks. My partner at the time left me. I got a text saying, 'I can't do this, Rebecca.' Um, which I had` I did have a panic attack at that time. I was put on antidepressants by the psychiatrist in the spinal unit, and I had a counsellor. You're not just dealing with your injury and the ripple effect on your family; you're grieving for the loss of what you had. You're not allowed to leave the spinal unit until you've got your carers all set up, your house set up ` like, a ramp. I had an outdoor shower and toilet. But I wasn't prepared for the 24-7 care. It looked like a hospital. I had to get used to people bathing me, dressing me. I feel sometimes like half of Tauranga's seen me naked. And you never get over that feeling. I mean, there are days I spent just` I didn't wanna get out of bed or (SIGHS) I'd just be crying. I couldn't stop crying. Just cry mountains of tears. I remember my sister and I said, 'I just don't want to do this any more.' I still couldn't feed myself. They had to do everything for me. - She was at the end of her rope. That was it. She'd spent, you know, all these months working so hard and getting so far. And she said to me, 'I'm tired now. 'I'm tired of this. I don't wanna do this any more.' - And she just said, 'Can you just give it till Christmas?' And I agreed, and I managed to get through it. (TRANQUIL MUSIC) Going home with Jimmy? (CHUCKLES) 'So we do tend to rescue dogs.' Just like a rescue horse, they come with the past trauma of where they've come from. And you don't know often what that is. 'Buster!' To see them go from these timid, scared, sometimes biting dogs to dogs that smile. Like, Oscar smiles. He does this thing where he goes... When you come home, he goes... - I've always loved animals too, so we've got that hugely in common. Rebecca has always had rescue horses here. We've brought in calves, numerous dogs over the time. (DOGS GROWL) - Hey. - We've got seven dogs currently. We actually had seven ` two passed away. We thought, no, we won't start collecting any more dogs, and suddenly we've got two more. I know she has said she wasn't really allowed to have animals when she was a child. I think now she's making up for it big time. What do you wanna wear this morning, honey? It's a bit chilly out there. Do you wanna put on something a bit warmer, jeans? - Yeah, I'll put on jeans. - Sweatshirt? Yep. - And a light sweatshirt. - Just your blue shoes? - Sure. - You'd think breaking my neck and being completely paralysed, that would stop me, but no. All I wanted to do was get back on my horse. - When she was recovering, I think` and I don't think I was the only one in the family who kind of was a bit relieved in a way that this might be the end of the horses. - I think they know that I'm stubborn ` that whatever they say, I'm gonna do it anyway. - It's such a beautiful day to ride. - I know. ACC was so supportive and helpful, and my occupational therapist was super encouraging about getting back on the horse. I make it very, very clear to all the girls that work with me ` that's Jasmine here and Alicia ` that it is my responsibility if anything happens, and I have fallen off. But they know that that is my choice, my responsibility. - Walk up a bit more, Bill. Come on. - NIGEL: Forward, Billy. - ALICIA: Good boy. - Billy, walk. (CLICKS TONGUE) - Good boy. - Good boy. Grab my foot, Leesh. - Yep, yep. - Good boy, Billy. Yep, yep. - One, two, three. - We're away. We're a bit far back, I just... - You are. - We'll wiggle ya forward. - Right. One, two, three. Right. Right, OK. - All right. So we're heading out? - Yeah. - Do you feel good? - Yeah, I feel great. - Yeah. - OK, walk on. (CLICKS TONGUE) Walk on, girl. We'll head over to the arena. Most tetraplegics would have to have a girdle to keep them upright, but luckily, I managed to get rid of mine just by doing sit ups constantly because I couldn't do anything else. I'd just be doing sit-up after sit-up in the spinal unit cos it's so boring in there. I had a lot of people telling me to sell up, sell up the horses, sell up the property. - Yeah. - Get myself a little nice house, you know, in residential... - Bubble wrap yourself. - Yeah. - Like, settle. - Sit in a corner in my wheelchair and stare at the TV all day long. Yeah, no, I'm glad I didn't listen. Bill, whoa. Good boy. - Nice. - Good lad. He is a clever man. He's so clever. Now, walk on. Bill, walk on. I've always talked to my horses, but this has taken it to a whole 'nother level. Basically, Bill's just picked it up over the last few years. Cos he's 25. He's not a young horse. Walk on, Bill. Good boy. That's my man. - What voice command are you teaching him next? - Um... He knows trot, but we're not gonna trot. - (GIGGLES) - He knows... What else does he know? He knows how to, um, park up next to the ramp now. Eh, buddy? He knows how to stand still. It took me a while to get back into competitive riding. In fact, the first two years, I didn't wanna even go and watch. It was actually Jasmine, one of my horse handlers, I went and watched her do a round. It sort of opened up the door for me. And people were so friendly. Like, everyone kept coming up and saying, 'Oh, good to see you're back.' As a para, all I can compete in is dressage now. I'm allowed to have elastic bands to tie my feet to the stirrups, I'm allowed to have straps on my legs to strap me to the saddle, but I don't wanna do any of that. I prefer to keep it as much as it used to be like. I had a big audience at my second test and... right at the end, everyone burst out clapping loudly, and he bolted, shot to the side of the arena. But he knows, because he's been well-trained, not to step out of the side of the arena. So he slammed on the brakes, and that's when I came off. I was lying on the ground with my head buried in the side of the arena. And all I could say was, 'I finished the test, didn't I? I finished the test, didn't I?' and I got second. I had the biggest grin on my face. I was like, 'I finished the test! 'Woo-hoo! Who cares about the rest?' It'll stand. All right, let me get my hands off. Hands off the... Is that foot out? - Yep, you're out. - You're out, yep. - All right, I'm ready. - Good? - Yep. Watch, watch that. - Three, two, one. Yeah, I got ya. - Ooh, ow. (GRUNTS SOFTLY) - Ease you down and straighten you up. - Thanks, Bill. All right. We'll hop in the Polaris. (SIGHS DEEPLY) - Good ride? - Yeah, it was lovely. It was great. (CLATTERING) - All right. Pill time, honey. Rebecca will have her afternoon medication, which is just a few pills, so that'll just keep her going for the rest of the evening. - Thank you. - And that'll stop her having her spasms in the afternoon. That's pretty much what we do. - Yeah, cos it is... Living with chronic pain, with nerve damage. - Here you go. Just be careful, it might be a bit hot. - Thank you. Nigel and I met online. I put in my profile that I had broken my neck, so if that scared anybody, then don't bother contacting me, kind of thing. - Everything she said was up front. She said she'd had a spinal injury. She had limited movement. But she said to me, 'Look, would you like to meet?' - So Nigel moved in probably after a year of dating. At the time, he was working full-time. I had carers doing the housework and cooking and cleaning so he didn't have to do any of that. Nigel became my caregiver when I broke my hip, so that set me back a good... 18 months of recovery. - You ready? - Yep. - Up. - (GRUNTS SOFTLY) - Gonna roll you over. - Sunbather pose` Ooh, ouch. Ow, yep. - All right? - Mm-hm. - Yeah, the stretching's really important. Makes a massive difference, eh, to your body. Particularly now we're getting cooler. The cooler it gets, the harder you get. - All right, next one. - You find this a bit easier later in the day when your sort of body's warmed up a bit rather than first thing in the morning? - Probably. - That's probably cos of your medication too, but you've been out and moving around. - Yeah. - I do wonder if we should change it to after you've ridden and have it in the early afternoon because this is way easier. Being a carer and actually in the relationship is not an easy thing. It hasn't been easy from day one. It's not an overly successful thing for couples to be caring. - We've had counselling. - Yeah, we went and did` We decided to go and do joint couple counselling, which really helped actually just` just cleared a few things on our minds. - So, yeah, it's just a matter of talking about it. Communication's a huge thing. (BRIGHT, GENTLE MUSIC) - Getting behind the wheel was a biggie for me, and at first it took me a good six months ` I was scared. But they said, 'Just keep doing it.' I couldn't use my legs. So all they had to do is put the spinner on and they've lightened the steering a little bit. It's been a big challenge, but it has also given me a huge amount of independence, and it's hard to explain how freeing that is. I'm heading out to Wakefield Equestrian to pick up my four-month-old colt, which is very exciting. He will be my forever horse. You don't normally start a horse under saddle until they're 3, so he's got two and a half years of looking pretty in the paddock for me. His name is Cyprus. There he is, oh! Cyprus! (CLICKS TONGUE) Hey, buddy! Cyprus! Bill's 25. You know, he doesn't act it, but he is. He's not gonna last forever. And I can't do much other than play with Cyprus in the paddock till he's 3, so. Eh? We can go for a lot of walks in the wheelchair. - Having a foal rather than an already trained horse, because they need quite specific training for her, is far easier to train them from scratch than it is to retrain an animal that hasn't been taught. - Cyprus is already showing signs of listening to voice commands, so he knows 'up' ` when to pick up his foot up, it's 'up'. And then 'down' and 'walk on'. He can already come to his name. He's already learnt that at five months, which is really amazing. - And this is where I think Cyprus is perfect cos he's been bred very purposefully for being very quiet, safe, but will have a big enough movement that it's not gonna pop her out of the saddle, but good enough that she can get up the levels. - I would like to get to the top of para dressage in New Zealand, and I think he's going to be the right one for me to do that. But it also is teaching me the soul and heart of the horse that I didn't take as much notice of before my accident. It's a great thing to learn. (HORSE WHINNIES) Oh, Cyprus! (DOG BARKS) Oh... That movement that he's doing with his mouth is saying 'I'm a baby', so hopefully they won't be mean to him. - Come on, Libby! (CLICKS TONGUE) - It's like a submissive thing to do. (HORSE GROANS) Oh, this is just` it's just amazing. It's just wonderful. He's gonna be my dream horse. (GENTLE MUSIC) We've set up the support group at the Next Step gym, just really forming a community that helps others, you know, inspires people, it gets people out there, realising that they're not alone. They come to yoga, but I think they come more for the talk afterwards. - Bringing the palms of your hands together and just bringing them out in front of you. Little stretch there through opening the insides of your elbows and resting the arms now. Shaking them, letting that tension go... I was introduced to yoga in 2008, a good 10 years before my injury. Some of us, the challenge is simply... if we try to get our head up there, that can be an ordeal in itself. I see the benefits from my own progress, so I have a very clear picture of what's going on for others. And I found that integrating particular sequences of manoeuvres, particularly the flossing of nerves or the stretching of nerves, which is easy in arms and things that suffer paralysis, is quite beneficial. (STIRRING MUSIC) - Running the farm as a tetraplegic has a lot of challenges. At first, I wasn't sure if I was even going to be able to keep my farm. Over the last five years, I've had varying caregivers ` some who are willing to help out around the farm, some who weren't. I got more involved with ACC as to what we could do to make the farm more accessible for me. So they installed electric front gate, provided me with a Polaris, provided me with an electrical attachment to the front of my wheelchair. Millie, what's this? - What's this? You know what it is, don't ya? Yeah. - Whoa! - What's that? There you go. - Come on, Bill. - He's coming. He's being very slow, but he's coming. - All right. Get you out. (DOG BARKS) Are you gonna share with Checker? Chev! (DOG YELPS) (REBECCA CLICKS TONGUE) (DOG BARKS) - Is that enough? - Yeah. Checker! - Come on, Checker. - Hello, darling. Checker, come. What's on your head? Eh, what's on your head? (DOG BARKS) 'There's been a lot of input from my OT and ACC as to what we can do 'to make my life as familiar to me as it was prior to my accident.' (GRUNTS) - Come on, Lucy. Come on, Lucy. Yeah, off you go. - My shadow. Come on. - All right. - Yep, good. Go to bed with hay in my hair. - You love it. Up you come. Come on, Oscar. 'To her, her horses are her life. 'They're her inspiration. That's what keeps her going.' If she couldn't get back on a horse, she'd struggle to have any reason, 'Why am I bothering?' - What I had to learn was that it wasn't actually my business to tell Becky how to live her life and to take away one of the things in her life that had always given her the most amount of joy. - I try to live in the moment as much as I possibly can. When I'm on the back of a horse, I am totally in the moment. Too bad, you know, if somebody thinks I'm mad. Just live our lives as much as we possibly can because it is short. (SOFT MUSIC) Captions by Kitty Wasasala. Edited by Jessie Puru. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.