AND I'M MIKE MCROBERTS. AND NOW, ON THE PROJECT, I HEAR THERE'S A FANCY NEW DRINK ON THE MARKET. YES, MIKE, BUT IT'S NOT DESIGNED FOR YOU AND ME. IT'S A BRAND NEW WATER FOR DOGS. WE ALL LOVE OUR PETS, THOSE FLUFFY BOIS, THE BESTEST DOGGOS, AND WE WANT NOTHING MORE THAN GIVING OUR FURRY FRIENDS THE FINEST THINGS MONEY CAN BUY ` THE TOP-OF-THE-LINE COLLAR AND LEASH, GOURMET FARM-TO-TABLE TREATS, BEDS FIT FOR THE KINGS AND QUEENS OF THE CANINE WORLD. AND TO WASH THAT ALL DOWN, NOTHING QUENCHES A PUP'S THIRST LIKE A COOL, CLEAR BOWL FULL OF ARTISANAL DOG WATER, AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL FARRO FRESH FOR A VERY REASONABLE $16.99 PER 10 LITRES. BUT WOULD YOU BUY IT? PROBABLY NOT. PROBABLY NOT. NO, REASONABLY GOOD WATER CONDITIONS HERE IN AUCKLAND, I THINK. YEAH, YEAH. NO. WHY NOT? BECAUSE I CAN GET IT FOR FREE. PROBABLY NOT. (CHUCKLES) BUT NOT EVERYONE IS WILLING TO BUY A BOX OF THE FINEST AGUA FOR THEIR DOG FRIENDS. JOINING US NOW IS MATT HEATH, DOG OWNER AND WATER DRINKER. MATT, YOU LOVE YOUR DOG, COLIN. WOULD YOU BUY HIM THIS WATER? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I GOT HOME FROM WORK TODAY AND MY DOG, COLIN, HAD DONE A LITTLE LEAVING ON THE COUCH. HE WAS SITTING THERE BESIDE IT, LOOKING SO GUILTY. BUT A PERSON ` OR A DOG ` THAT WILL DO A LEAVING ON THE COUCH DOES NOT DESERVE SPECIAL WATER. OK, SO IT'S NOT FOR THE DOGS, THEN? IT'S GOTTA BE FOR THE OWNERS. APPARENTLY THERE'S A COMPANY THAT SELLS FIJI WATER, ANTIPODES, SAN PELLEGRINO. IS THIS JUST SOME SORT OF PLOY BY THEM? BLESS THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE STARTED THIS COMPANY. I'VE HAD A LOT OF IDEAS FOR COMPANIES WHEN I'VE BEEN DRINKING AND SUCH BEFORE, AND THEY SEEM REALLY, REALLY GOOD. BUT THE NEXT DAY, YOU NORMALLY SOBER UP AND GO, THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. AND I FEEL LIKE THIS COMPANY OF DOG WATER, THEY'VE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA, AND THE NEXT DAY IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. DOGS DON'T NEED THAT. TAP WATER IS MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH FOR BOTH HUMANS AND DOGS. YOU THINK THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA? DO YOU THINK IT'LL BE A SUCCESS? I THINK IT'LL BE AN ABSOLUTE DISASTER, AND I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR THE PEOPLE THAT ARE RUNNING THIS COMPANY, AND BLESS THEM, AND I'M SURE THAT THEY MEAN WELL, BUT I WOULD PULL ALL MY MONEY OUT OF THIS. IF ANYONE'S INVOLVED IN THIS, JUST GET OUT AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN. PET FOOD IS LIKE ONE OF THE BIGGEST CATEGORIES IN SUPERMARKETS. IF YOU'RE IN THAT BUSINESS, ISN'T IT OBVIOUS TO TRY PET WATER? WOULDN'T YOU THROW WATER INTO THE MIX, JUST FROM A COMMERCIAL SENSIBILITY? I'D SAY PET FOOD MAKES SENSE. LIKE, DOGS HAVE TO EAT. AND CATS HAVE TO EAT. BUT THEY CAN DRINK ANYTHING YOU'VE GOT. SAVE YOUR MONEY. DO NOT SPEND YOUR MONEY ON SPECIAL DOG WATER. ON BEHALF OF THE COMPANY, WHO YOU ARE REALLY MALIGNING TONIGHT, THEY SAY THAT THE HIGH SILICA CONTENT IN THEIR WATER WILL BE GOOD FOR YOUR DOG COLIN'S FUR. DOES THAT TEMPT YOU AT ALL? NO. THE QUALITY OF HIS COAT IS IRRELEVANT TO BOTH ME AND COLIN, MY DOG. THERE'S ABSOLUTELY` AND ALSO, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT AS WELL. I DON'T BELIEVE THERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN PUT IN WATER THAT MAKES THEIR COATS BETTER. THAT'S SILLY. BLESS YOU. YOU'VE COME UP WITH A SILLY BUSINESS, AND YOU WERE PROBABLY DRUNK WHEN YOU CAME UP WITH IT. LET'S JUST MOVE ON. I'M SURE YOU'LL COME UP WITH BETTER IDEAS IN THE FUTURE. MATT, I KNOW YOU SAY THIS WATER ISN'T GOOD FOR DOGS. WE'VE GIVEN YOU SOME DOG WATER IN THE GLASS NEXT TO YOU. IF YOU'D CARE TO TAKE A SIP AND TELL US WHAT YOU THINK. OH, LOOK, I'D LOVE TO. IS THIS DOG WATER? YES. THIS IS THE DOG WATER FROM THE CAN. IS IT? OH, MY GOD, THAT IS DELICIOUS. HOW DOES YOUR COAT FEEL? MY COAT IS REALLY PEAKING UP, ACTUALLY. I TAKE EVERYTHING I'VE SAID BACK. THIS IS INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD! WELL, MATT HEATH, THANKS VERY MUCH FOR YOUR TIME. MMM! THANK YOU. (APPLAUSE) THIS IS THE PROJECT. KARA RICKARD IS HERE! WELCOME, KARA. DOG OWNER. ARE YOU TEMPTED? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I HAVE THREE DOGS AND THEY DRINK WATER OUT OF A SLIMY BUCKET UNDER THE HOSE TAP. THEY EAT THEIR OWN VOMIT. I DON'T THINK THEY CARE. NO ONE SHOULD, EVEN HUMANS. NEW ZEALAND TAP WATER IS FINE. I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE TOLD YOU, I USED TO WORK FOR BIG WATER IN LONDON. A FANCY LUXURY WATER BRAND. YOU ACTUALLY CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIGH AND WATER, BECAUSE OF THE MINERAL CONTENT. THEY ARE HIGH IN SILICA. THEY DON'T TELL YOU HOW HIGH ON THE WEBSITE. I CAN TASTE THIS AND TELL YOU WHETHER IT IS HIGH IN SILICA. YOU ARE AN EXPERT. WHAT ARE YOU GETTING? THERE IS A LITTLE SOFTNESS FROM THE SILICA, BUT IT IS HIGH AND OTHER HARD MINERALS LIKE MAGNESIUM AND CALCIUM. DOGS, STAY AWAY FROM IT. ALSO TONIGHT ` TAIKA WAITITI INTRODUCES US TO THE INSPIRATION BEHIND HIS NEW SPORTS MOVIE, 'NEXT GOAL WINS'. THAT'S NEXT. AND CHRISTMAS IS CREEPING CLOSER. SO IS THE STRESS THAT CAN COME WITH IT. JONO AND BEN GET SOME IDEAS ON HOW TO COPE FROM SCHOOL KIDS ` JUST AHEAD. I DUNNO IF I WOULD TRUST KIDS' ADVICE. LAST YEAR THEY TOLD ME THAT MY WIFE WOULD LOVE AN OODIE. SHE DIDN'T. STILL, SHE GOT ME AN APPLE WATCH, SO THEY GET IT RIGHT SOMETIMES. IT TELLS THE TIME. AND IT'S SAYING NOW IS THE TIME FOR THE DAILY DOSE. (APPLAUSE) UP FIRST A FEARLESS, COURAGEOUS DOG PROTECTING HIS OWNER AS HE SPOTS AN INTRUDER. HE'S RUN IN FULL OF GUSTO. IT'S QUITE BIG. IT'S CHASING ME NOW. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS IN MY BRAIN WHEN I THINK I CAN WIN AN ARGUMENT AT HOME. I'LL START OFF ALL CONFIDENT, THEN SHE'LL BRING UP A FACT. I RUN BACK TAIL BETWEEN MY LEGS. UP NEXT, A MUM GETS AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT FROM HER KIDS. WHAT COULD IT BE? IT'S HEAVY. OPEN IT THERE WHAT IS IT? SADLY IT WASN'T THE ONE SHE WANTED, SO THEY HAD TO SEND IT BACK. AND FINALLY, TWO YOUNG LADS FIND OUT THEY'RE HAVING A SISTER. GENUINELY THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. JUST WAIT TILL SHE GETS A BIT OLDER AND BRINGS HER FRIENDS OVER. YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR TUNE. TAIKA WAITITI'S NEW FILM IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY ABOUT THE WORST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD. A SURPRISING CHOICE FOR A DIRECTOR WHO CLAIMS TO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE SPORT. I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS. WAS? OF COURSE YOU CAN! TAIKA WAITITI HAS DONE JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ` FROM SATIRICAL WAR STORIES AND SUPERHERO BLOCKBUSTERS TO HOME-GROWN COMEDIES. WHEN THEY ASK WHO DID THIS, TELL THEM IT WAS THE WILDERPEOPLE. THE WHAT-ER PEOPLE? NOW HE'S TICKING SPORTS COMEDY OFF THE LIST, WITH 'NEXT GOAL WINS'. IT FOLLOWS AMERICAN SAMOA'S NATIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM, AS THEY ATTEMPT TO SCORE THEIR FIRST EVER INTERNATIONAL VICTORY. WHAT WE WANT IS JUST ONE GOAL. ONE GOAL. COME ON, GUYS! WE'VE WORKED TOO LONG AND HARD FOR THIS. YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE A FEW DAYS. CENTRAL TO THE TEAM WAS JAIYAH SAELUA, THE FIRST EVER OPENLY TRANS WOMAN TO COMPETE IN A FIFA WORLD CUP QUALIFIER. THAT'S IT, JAIYAH ` LEADERSHIP. NOW WE'RE MAKING SOME PROGRESS! # TAKE A CHANCE ON ME. JOINING US NOW FROM LONDON, PLEASE WELCOME TAIKA AND JAIYAH. (APPLAUSE) TAIKA, OF ALL THE STORIES OUT THERE, WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO TELL THIS STORY? UM, I WANT TO SEE MORE PACIFIC ISLANDERS ON SCREEN. AND I WATCHED THE DOCUMENTARY, THAT JAIYAH'S A BIG PART OF. AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE STORY. I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT IT WAS A TRUE STORY. AND IT HAD ALL OF THE ELEMENTS THAT YOU WANT IN A GREAT UNDERDOG SPORTS FILM, AND I'D NEVER MADE A SPORTS FILM, AND I THOUGHT, NOW'S MY CHANCE. AND, JAIYAH, WHAT WENT THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU FOUND OUT THAT TAIKA WAS GOING TO BE MAKING A FILM ABOUT THE STORY THAT YOU'RE SUCH A BIG PART OF? UM, I WAS... THE HONEST TRUTH IS, I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT TAIKA WAITITI. COS I'M NOT A BIG FILM... NO! I'M NOT BIG ON FILM IN GENERAL. ME NEITHER. I'M ALL ABOUT SPORTS. BUT THE MORE I READ UP ON TAIKA AND HIS WORK, THE MORE NERVOUS I GOT, AND EXCITED AT THE SAME TIME. IT DAWNED ON ME THAT THIS PROJECT WAS GOING TO BE A LOT BIGGER THAN I INITIALLY EXPECTED OR ANTICIPATED. AND, YEAH, HE HASN'T DISAPPOINTED. OK, BUT DID HE GET IT RIGHT? IT STILL MAKES ME NERVOUS. (CHUCKLES) YEAH! YEAH. I MEAN HE IS A PACIFIC ISLANDER, AND I DON'T THINK ANY OTHER DIRECTOR IN HOLLYWOOD WOULD HAVE DONE THIS STORY JUSTICE. BEGINNING WITH THE CAST. I MEAN, THEY'RE MORE THAN 90% PACIFIC ISLANDERS. AND, I MEAN, YEAH. SO IT ONLY MAKES SENSE THAT TAIKA WOULD TAKE ON THIS PROJECT SPECIFICALLY. OUT OF INTEREST, TAIKA, AS A FILMMAKER, WHAT DO YOU PREFER ` TELLING BRAND NEW STORIES OR SOMETHING LIKE THIS, MAKING A MOVIE BASED OFF A TRUE STORY? IN ALL HONESTY, IT'S EASIER TO TAKE A STORY THAT'S ALREADY HAPPENED OR SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN WRITTEN, TO ADAPT A BOOK, OR TO TAKE A REAL STORY. OBVIOUSLY WITH THIS FILM, I'VE SORT OF TAIKA-FIED IT AND, YOU KNOW, DONE MY THING TO IT. AND I LOVE DOING THAT, BECAUSE I GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. I GET TO PLAY IN THE SANDPIT WITH A REAL STORY, BUT ALSO TURN IT INTO MY OWN THING. BECAUSE, LOOK, LET'S FACE IT, IF YOU ASK ANY WRITER, IT'S REALLY HARD COMING UP WITH AN ORIGINAL IDEA. IT TAKES AGES. TAIKA, ARE YOU STILL ENJOYING THE ROLLER COASTER RIDE THAT'S HOLLYWOOD? OR ARE YOU MISSING HOME? THE RIDE HAS BEEN AMAZING. 'THE RIDE'? I'M ALREADY TALKING LIKE AN AMERICAN. THE RIDE'S BEEN FANTASTIC. BUT I LOVE COMING HOME. I THINK, IN TERMS OF IT BEING A ROLLER COASTER, I THINK I'VE DONE ALL THE TWIRLY BITS. NOW WHAT I REALLY IS FOR IT TO JUST COAST FOR A BIT BEFORE THE RIDE STOPS. I THINK I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE OLD TWISTY BITS. I'M JUST TRYING TO SORTA CHILL A BIT MORE AND SPEND A BIT MORE TIME... SPEND A BIT MORE TIME WITH MYSELF. WELL, YOU ENJOY THAT. YOU DESERVE IT. TAIKA, JAIYAH, IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE AS ALWAYS. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE FILM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR JOINING US. BYE-BYE! THANK YOU FOR HAVING US. (APPLAUSE) I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO SEE THE FILM LAST WEEK. THERE IS A CUTE LITTLE BOY IN THE FILM. APPARENTLY MICHAEL FASSBENDER USED TO SEE HIM HANGING AROUND EVERY DAY AND SUGGESTED, GIVE HIM A ROLE. SO NOW HE IS IN THE MOVIE. HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING, JUST LURKS IN THE BACKGROUND. STALKING PAYS OFF. I DON'T THINK THAT IS THE MESSAGE OF THE MOVIE. FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF. 'NEXT GOAL WINS' OPENS IN CINEMAS NATIONWIDE ON DECEMBER 7. CHRISTMAS IS IN THE AIR. HOLIDAY MUSIC IN THE STORES. AND PEOPLE ARE PUTTING THEIR TREES UP ` SOME MORE SUCCESSFULLY THAN OTHERS. A TOWN THAT HAS BECOME FAMOUS FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS, NEXT. I'M HERE WITH FRANZ. HE HITCH-HIKED FROM TARANAKI. HE DOES THAT TO RAISE AWARENESS AND HELP PEOPLE KICK METH. HE'S GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT'S COMING UP. THANKS, JEREMY. WHY WAS ONE TOWN'S CHRISTMAS TREE COMPARED TO A FAMOUS ATTACTION IN ITALY? THAT'S NEXT ON THE PROJECT. (APPLAUSE) WELCOME BACK. JONO AND BEN ARE WITH US SHORTLY, SEEKING KNOWLEDGE FROM THE SMARTEST PEOPLE THEY KNOW ` A BUNCH OF 8-YEAR-OLDS. THAT'S COMING UP. BUT FIRST, A CHRISTMAS TREE IN A SMALL ENGLISH TOWN HAS GONE VIRAL, DUE TO ITS SIGNIFICANT LEAN. IT HAS BECOME A TOURIST ATTRACTION, WITH SOME COMPARING IT TO ITALY S LEANING TOWER OF PISA. THE VOLUNTEERS WHO ERECTED THE 9-METRE TREE SAY IT WAS LIKE THAT WHEN THEY GOT IT. SOME IN TOWN LOVE THE WONKY FIR, WHILE OTHERS CALL IT A SAFETY HAZZARD. VISITORS HAVE TRAVELLED FOR HOURS TO CATCH A GLIMPSE AND TAKE A PHOTO. IT WAS LIKE THAT WHEN WE GOT IT. WE HAVE IMPROVED IT. I LOVE THIS. THIS IS HOW CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS ARE BORN. WHEN THINGS GO WRONG, AND EVERYONE SAYS REMEMBER LAST YEAR, WHEN THE CHRISTMAS TREE WAS WONKY. YOU HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY YEAR, THIS TOWN. WHEN THE TOWER STARTED TO LEAN IN PISA, THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN STORIES LIKE THIS. NOW IT IS FAMOUS. TURN MISTAKES INTO FEATURES. DON'T THROW OUT AN ACCIDENT. CURVED TVS WERE AN ACCIDENT. THEY SELL IT LIKE A FEATURE. WHAT HAPPENED TO CURVED SCREENS? I HAVE ONE. I HAVE TO SAY THAT CHRISTMAS TREE IS INCREDIBLE IN COMPARISON TO OURS. MY PARTNER DOESN'T BELIEVE IN CUTTING DOWN A TREE TO HAVE IT FOR A FEW WEEKS. HE WILL DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD AND FIND A HALF-DEAD BRANCH. THAT IS A BRANCH TIED TO OUR FIREPLACE. THAT IS THE CHIMNEY. THE SPINDLY BITS ARE THE CHRISTMAS TREE. THAT IS WHAT OUR TREE LOOKS LIKE EVERY YEAR. YOUR FAMILY WILL BE LIKE, AWW... IF YOU GOT A REAL TREE. YOU HAVE TRIED YOUR BEST, JUSTIN. BUT IT LOOKS LIKE A CRIME SCENE. WE ARE IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. WE KNOW WE'RE A WEE WAY AWAY FROM CHRISTMAS. BUT YOU'VE PROBABLY ALREADY STARTED SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. TO HELP YOU GET SORTED, IT'S JONO, BEN AND SOME KIDS. CHRISTMAS-TIME. WHAT DO WE WANT? I WANNA GET... A HORSE? (JONO AND BEN LAUGH) A HORSE SOUNDS VERY INCONVENIENT. WHO'S PROMISING A HORSE? I'M JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF A HORSE. SEEING RONALDO AND MESSI. RONALDO AND MESSI? YOU'D LIKE THEM FOR CHRISTMAS? THAT'S A BIG DELIVERY. THAT'S PRETTY TOUGH. I FEEL LIKE MESSI'S INTO A QUITE A GOOD CONTRACT WITH MIAMI. BUT WE'LL SEE IF WE CAN GET HIM OUT OF IT FOR YOU. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? UM... HORSE. A HORSE? I'VE GOT A HORSE! DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT A HORSE? GIMME IT! ANY CHRISTMAS WISHES? GOOD WILL AND PEACE TO EVERYONE? KIND OF. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? I DON'T... REALLY KNOW. DO YOU CARE? KIND OF. GOOD ANSWER. 2023 ` GONE. 2024 ` HERE IT COMES. HAS IT BEEN A GOOD YEAR? WOULD THIS BE THE BEST THING ABOUT THE YEAR? THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW? WILL YOU JUST SAY ANYTHING HE SAYS, AND AGREE WITH IT? YEAH. YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE UP ONE THING NEXT YEAR FOR YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION. WHAT'S IT GONNA BE? GONNA STOP VAPING? I KNOW THE PROBLEM'S BAD, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S... IT HASN'T GONE THAT FAR? PROBABLY... GIVE UP MINECRAFT, IF I HAVE TO. OH, YEAH. YOUR GOAL FOR 2024 IS... CONVINCE MY PARENTS TO... GET A HORSE. NO! WHAT'S SOMETHING YOU HOPE TO DO NEXT YEAR? LEARN MANDARIN. LEARN MANDARIN? DAMN! THAT'S GOOD. SETTING THE BAR HIGH. I WAS JUST HOPING TO JUST KEEP LIVING. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO NEXT YEAR? STOP DOING SOMETHING? I WANNA STOP DOING GYMNASTICS. YOU WANT TO STOP GYMNASTICS? IS IT A NIGHTMARE? ONE THING YOU WANT TO DO IN 2024? HAVE A GOOD FOOTBALL SEASON. OH, YEAH? MORE GOALS? MORE GOALS. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SCORE A GOAL? DO YOU CELEBRATE? YEAH. GIVE US THE TRADEMARK ZENO CELEBRATION. SIUUU! THIS STUFF THERE? NOT THAT. I LOVE THE ONE WHERE THEY PULL THE SHIRT OVER THEIR HEAD AND RUN AROUND DOES ANYONE DO THAT? NO. WHAT WE NEED YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW IS LOOK DOWN THAT CAMERA WITH THE RED LIGHT AND SAY SOMETHING INSPIRATIONAL. BOTH: MERRY CHRISTMAS! AND A HAPPY...? NEW YEAR! MERRY CHRISTMAS, NEW ZEALAND. HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT YEAR. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. AND DO YOU WANNA SAY... IF ANYONE'S IN THE MARKET FOR A HORSE...? ONCE I WANTED TO GET A HORSE. ONCE YOU WANTED...? I'VE GOT ONE. NO? OK. ALL RIGHT. MERRY CHRISTMAS. AND FOR THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY FOOTBALL, ALWAYS SCORE GOALS. SIUUU! HAVE THE BEST CHRISTMAS, AND I HOPE YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT. GOOD ON YOU. THAT WAS NICE. # I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS. # I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS. THANK YOU. THANK YOU TO THOSE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. KIDS CAN BE BRUTAL. MY LITTLE BOY, FELIX, HE CAME TO OUR SHOW BACKSTAGE TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME BEFORE WE CLOSE DOWN. HE SAW ME GETTING DRESSED. HE SAID, DAD, WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING A TIE ON FOR? IT IS NOT YOUR STYLE. BAD NEWS, SON. I HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR SEVEN YEARS. MY DAUGHTER, WHEN SHE WAS EIGHT, I WAS LEAVING MY HOUSE AND A CABLE KNIT SWEATER, SHE SAID NO! IT'S TIME FOR 'BEAT THAT'. (APPLAUSE) WE HAVE FIVE GRAND TO GIVE AWAY THIS WEEK. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOW US YOUR BEST CANDY OR CHOCOLATE CREATION. THE MORE CREATIVE THE BETTER. LIKE OUR CURRENT CHAMP, CHRISSY, SHE MADE THIS BRILLIANT 1.6-METRE CHOCOLATE MARLIN AND PAINTED IT BY HAND. KICKING US OFF TONIGHT IS BARB, WITH A FULLY CHOCOLATE HORSE. IT'S A WHOPPING 89cm X 38cm. IF IT IS HOLLOW, I WANTED. IT CREEPS ME OUT. I FIND IT EROTIC. WE ARE NOT 100% SURE IF THESE WERE MADE FOR THIS COMPETITION, BUT THEY ARE STILL IMPRESSIVE. CHECK OUT THIS AWESOME CHOCOLATE DUMBBELL MADE BY MANDY. MY KIND OF WEIGHTLIFTING. TONIGHT'S CHAMP IS FIONA, YOU WILL THINK THIS IS A NORMAL TRUCK. IT IS MADE FROM WHITE CHOCOLATE AND CARAMEL CAKE. IT IS ON THE PICNIC TABLE. IT LOOKS LIKE A REAL TRUCK. THAT IS A CAKE. SERIOUSLY IMPRESSIVE. YOU WILL HAVE TO LEVEL UP TO GET YOUR HAND ON $5000. MAKE A PORTRAIT OF US OUT OF LOLLIES. DO WHAT YOU CAN. IT DOESN'T JUST HAVE TO BE CAKE. IT'S ALL THANKS TO THE BRAND-NEW WONKA MOVIE, OUT ON DECEMBER 14. ENTER ON OUR WEBSITE. I CAN'T BELIEVE THE TRUCK CAKE. THERE'S MORE TO COME ON THE PROJECT. WELCOME BACK TO THE PROJECT. BEFORE WE GO TONIGHT, ANOTHER IN MY SERIES OF AMAZING CATS. ENJOY. ON THE BED. WHAT'S HE DOING? SPROING! HE'S IN THE LIGHTSHADE. AND HE'S SETTLED IN FOR THE NIGHT. WHAT A TALENT. I WISH I COULD JUMP INTO A LIGHTSHADE. AT A PARTY, YOU SAY SOMETHING STUPID? BOIN-N-NG! LIGHTSHADE. LOOKING DOWN ON THE PARTY. GOT OUT OF THAT. SIR JOHN KIRWAN IS GOING TO CLASS THIS PLACE UP. HE JOINS US TO TALK ABOUT RUGBY AND WHY HE FELT HE HAD TO CHANGE AND REPUBLISH HIS BESTSELLER, 'ALL BLACKS DON'T CRY'. SIR JOHN WILL BE HERE LIVE IN STUDIO TOMORROW NIGHT. THAT'S IT FOR US. THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR, CONTACT, AND THANKS TO KARA RICKARD FOR JOINING US TONIGHT. THE BLOCK AUSTRALIA IS NEXT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. SEE YOU TOMORROW. CAPTIONS BY JOHN GIBBS, FAITH HAMBLYN AND JAMES BROWN.