TIME NOW FOR SEVEN SHARP WITH HILARY AND JEREMY. THE MUCH-TALKED-ABOUT TAX CUTS FINALLY HIT THIS WEEK, ALTHOUGH WITH GROCERIES AND INTEREST RATES STILL SKY HIGH, IT'S NOT GOING TO BE A FIX-ALL. BUT IT'S STILL MONEY, SO HOW CAN WE MAKE THE MOST OF IT? (BASSY MUSIC) THE SIGNS ARE THERE ` WINTER IS WINDING UP, BUT IS THE SEASON OF FINANCIAL DISCONTENT ALSO SET TO EASE? FROM THIS WEDNESDAY, THE LONG AWAITED TAX CUTS WILL TAKE EFFECT. THE GOVERNMENT SAYS 3.5 MILLION KIWIS ARE IN LINE FOR A WEE BOOST. THOSE ON THE MINIMUM WAGE WILL BE BETTER OFF BY AROUND $12.50 A WEEK. A SINGLE ADULT EARNING $55,000 A YEAR WILL RECEIVE AN EXTRA $25.50 PER WEEK. A SOLE PARENT WITH TWO TEENAGE KIDS CAN COUNT ON A $45 WEEKLY BOOST, AND A RETIRED COUPLE RELYING SOLELY ON SUPERANNUATION WILL GET $4.50, RISING TO $13 A WEEK. IT'S NOT EXACTLY A WINDFALL, BUT IN A COST-OF-LIVING CRISIS, EVERY DOLLAR AND CENT COUNTS. SO HOW CAN WE MAKE THE MOST OF GETTING A LITTLE MORE OF OUR MONEY BACK? AND FINANCIAL ANALYST FRANCES COOK IS HERE NOW. NICE TO SEE YOU, FRANCES. MANY PEOPLE WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS EXTRA MONEY. HOW DOES EVERYONE CLAIM IT? WELL, THE GOOD THING IS, FOR MOST PEOPLE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A THING. YOUR BOSS IS THE ONE THAT HAS TO TAKE CARE OF IT ` IT SHOULD ALL BE SORTED THROUGH YOUR PAY. THE ONE THING TO KNOW IS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO IS GOING FOR THE FAMILY BOOST TAX CREDIT, THAT'S WHERE YOU CAN GET A LITTLE BIT EXTRA TO HELP WITH EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATION, THEN YOU'LL NEED TO HOLD ON TO INVOICES FROM YOUR CHILDCARE CENTRE AND CLAIM THAT BACK QUARTERLY THROUGHOUT THE YEAR. THAT'S THE ONLY THING ` THE REST OF IT, ALL AUTOMATIC. IN MANY CASES, IT'LL JUST BE A FEW DOLLARS FOR PEOPLE. HOW DO THEY MAKE THOSE COUNT ` THOSE FEW DOLLARS? YEAH, SO IT'S ROUGHLY 12 TO 50 BUCKS DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH YOU EARN, UM, PER WEEK, WHICH, YOU KNOW, GREAT, NICE TO HAVE; NOT GONNA GO SO FAR IN A COST-OF-LIVING CRISIS. I THINK THE TRICK IS WHENEVER DOLLARS ARE TIGHT, AS THEY ARE FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE RIGHT NOW, IT'S GETTING REALLY FOCUSSED ON WHAT YOU TRULY HAVE TO SPEND, AND THEN WHAT YOU CAN SPEND THAT'S GOING TO BRING SOME JOY INTO YOUR LIFE. AND IT'S THE NEED SPENDING, WHICH IS OFTEN QUITE BIG AND WE'RE OFTEN QUITE BEGRUDGING ABOUT. SO I OFTEN THINK START WITH THOSE BIG EXPENSES. LOOK AT HOUSING, TRANSPORT, FOOD, MAKE SURE YOU'RE GETTING THE BEST PRICE FOR THOSE AND REALLY REASSESSING THOSE, COS IF YOU CAN GET THINGS LIKE YOUR POWER FOR CHEAPER, AND YOU'RE STILL HAVING THE SAME QUALITY OF LIFE, BUT YOU'RE GETTING A BETTER DEAL ` THOSE ARE THE SORTS OF THINGS THAT CAN THEN REALLY STRETCH OUT THE DOLLARS, REALLY BRING THE QUALITY OF LIFE UP. FRANCES, SPRING IS JUST A MONTH AWAY ` IS IT A GOOD TIME TO TAKE A LOOK AT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH OUR FINANCES? A BIT OF A FINANCIAL SPRING CLEAN, IF YOU WILL? ABSOLUTELY. IT'S A BIT LIKE CHECKING ON THE FIRE ALARMS. PUT A NOTIFICATION IN YOUR PHONE TO REMIND YOU ONCE A YEAR TO GO AND LOOK THROUGH THOSE BIG BILLS. YOU KNOW, AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING AT THAT NEED SPENDING, WELL, CHECK IN ON IT REGULARLY, BECAUSE WE'VE SEEN THIS, PARTICULARLY ELECTRICITY USAGE ` THERE'S BEEN STUDIES THAT HAVE SHOWN IT, BUT THIS IS ALL OF YOUR CORE SPENDING. YOU WILL SEE THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO BRING IN NEW CUSTOMERS, OFFERING THEM GOOD DEALS. BUT IF YOU STICK WITH THE SAME PLACE, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY BONUSES. SO ONCE A YEAR, STICK A NOTIFICATION IN YOUR PHONE TO REMIND YOU GO THROUGH THOSE BIG COSTS, ANY SUBSCRIPTIONS YOU'VE GOT, YOUR REGULAR BILLS, AND CHECK THEM ` SEE IF YOU CAN GET A BETTER DEAL ELSEWHERE, BECAUSE THEN YOU'RE OFTEN PAYING LESS, GETTING THE SAME STUFF, AND THEN YOU CAN HAVE THAT DISCRETIONARY SPENDING THAT ACTUALLY BRINGS A BIT OF SPARKLE TO YOUR LIFE. ANYONE WITH A MORTGAGE IS OBVIOUSLY KEEPING A VERY CLOSE EYE ON INTEREST RATES AT THE MOMENT. WHAT DO YOU SEE HAPPENING THERE? YEAH, THAT'S THE MILLION-DOLLAR QUESTION FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE, ISN'T IT? WE ARE SEEING INFLATION HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION FOR THE RESERVE BANK TO BE ABLE TO GIVE US A BIT OF A BREAK AND CUT THOSE INTEREST RATES. WHEN THEY'LL DO THAT ` THAT'S THE TRICKY THING. THERE ARE SOME VERY OPTIMISTIC, I THINK, PEOPLE, WHO ARE HOPING FOR THAT EVEN IN AUGUST. FOR MY MONEY, THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE SOON, BUT THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT WE'LL GET INTEREST RATES CUT BY THE END OF THE YEAR. SO THAT WOULD BE A BIG SQUEEZE OFF A LOT OF PEOPLE. THE FLIP SIDE IS IF YOU'RE SOMEONE WHO IS MAYBE RETIRED, YOU USE TERM DEPOSITS A LOT, ANY OF THOSE INTEREST BASED SAVINGS ACCOUNTS, LOCK IN SOME OF THOSE GOOD RATES, COS THEY MIGHT BE GOING SOON. THANK YOU SO MUCH, FRANCES. GOOD TO TALK TO YOU. LOVELY TO CHAT. CAPTIONS BY ALEX BACKHOUSE, JAMES BROWN AND FAITH HAMBLYN. CAPTIONS WERE MADE WITH THE SUPPORT OF NZ ON AIR. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ COPYRIGHT ABLE 2024. TOMORROW IS THE NIGHT OF NIGHTS FOR NZ PASTRY ` THE BAKELS PIE AWARDS. IT'S A HUGE NIGHT FOR PIES AND PIE LOVERS ALIKE, BUT BEFORE IT ARRIVES, IT'S AN EVEN BIGGER WEEK FOR THE JUDGES. RHIANNON MCCALL HAS MORE. (WHIMSICAL PIANO MUSIC) AOTEAROA'S BRIGHTEST BAKERS GO TO A LOT OF EFFORT TO CREATE THE PERFECT PIE. TO HONOUR THEIR MAHI, THE JUDGING OF THE BAKELS NZ SUPREME PIE AWARDS IS CARRIED OUT WITH MILITARY PRECISION BY CULINARY EXPERTS. SID SAHRAWAT, RENOWNED RESTAURANTEUR AND STAR OF 'MASTERCHEF' AND 'MY KITCHEN RULES', IS THE CELEBRITY JUDGE AT THIS YEAR'S AWARDS. HE HAS HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR THE HUMBLE PIE. I GUESS IT'S GOTTA HAVE THAT REAL WOW FACTOR. SO, FOR ME, IT'S GOT TO HAVE AMAZING PASTRY, IT'S GOTTA HAVE AND AWESOME FILLING AND THE TEXTURES, COLOURS ` EVERYTHING HAS TO SING TOGETHER, AND YOU WANNA BE WANTING TO HAVE THAT PIE AGAIN TOMORROW MORNING. SID IS ACCOMPANIED BY HIS DAUGHTER ZOYA (13), WHO HAS BEEN BROUGHT UP IN AND AROUND SOME OF NZ'S TOP RESTAURANTS. THEY ARE A FORMIDABLE PAIR, BUT ARE THEY THE BEST PEOPLE FOR THE JOB? # GIVE IT TO ME BABY. UH-HUH! UH-HUH! NOBODY KNOWS PIES BETTER THAN TRADIES. # AND ALL THE GIRLIES SAY I'M PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY. # HI. CAN I HELP YOU? HEY, MATE. I'M JUST HERE TO UNBLOCK A TOILET, BUT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? UNBLOCK A TOILET? DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT ` WE ACTUALLY DO NEED A JUDGE. I'M SURE YOU MUST KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND A PIE. YEAH. YOU WANT TO TRY SOME PIES? YES, PLEASE. LET'S DO THIS. CALEB BASEL IS A TRADIE ` A PLUMBER AND GAS FITTER, TO BE EXACT ` AND IS VERY EXPERIENCED WHEN IT COMES TO EATING PIES. (COUNTRY AND WESTERN MUSIC) HOW MANY PIES HAVE YOU TASTED IN YOUR LIFE? TOO MANY! HOW ABOUT YOU? I THINK I MIGHT BEAT YOU ON THAT ONE. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I GUESS, THE FIRST THING YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS THIS PASTRY. LOOK AT HOW FLAKEY IT IS ` IT JUST TELLS YOU HOW WELL THE PASTRY IS MADE. THEN LOOKING FOR... HOW IT SMELLS. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET ALL THOSE FLAVOURS TOGETHER, AND THE MAIN THING IS THE TASTE. (DRUM ROLL) MMM. THAT'S A GOOD PIE. FLAKEY PASTRY, AROMA AND HOW THE FLAVOURS PAIR TOGETHER ` YOU GOT ALL THAT, CALEB? OOH, THAT'S GOOD BACON. JUST MISSING A V. OH DEAR. LET'S SEE IF CALEB CAN RISE TO THE CHALLENGE OF JUDGING A MORE SOPHISTICATED PIE. SO THIS ONE'S LOBSTER, AGRIA POTATOES, THYME, AND IT'S GOT A LITTLE BIT OF CHERRY WINE OR... CHERRY WINE SAUCE. SMELLS PRETTY GOOD, NO? SMELLS GOOD. LOOKS GOOD. (YELLO'S 'OH YEAH') MMM. TASTES GOOD. YOU PROBABLY WON'T FIND THAT ON A CONSTRUCTION SITE. THAT'S A GOOD PIE, THOUGH. TELL YOU WHAT MATE, WE'LL LEAVE THIS ONE TO THE PROFESSIONALS. WHAT'S THAT ONE THERE? IS THAT PORK BELLY? PORK BELLY. CAN WE CHOP UP THAT PORK BELLY ONE? (CHUCKLES) CALEB THE PLUMBER HAS HIT HIS STRIDE. WHICH ONE'S LOOKING LIKE YOUR FAVOURITE SO FAR? SO, WE'VE GONE THROUGH AND DONE THE VISUAL TEST ON ALL THE PIES SO FAR, AND AS YOU LOOK AT THESE ONES, THEY'RE ALL NICE ` THERE'S NOT A LOT OF SHRINKAGE IN THE PASTRY, THERE'S PUFF COMING THROUGH, GOOD COLOURS, EVEN BAKE ON THE BASE, ETC. AND WHAT WE'RE REALLY LOOKING AT NOW IS TO HAVE A LOOK AT THE FILLINGS AND SEE HOW THE FILLINGS STAND UP TO THE WARMING, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU'VE GOT TO BE WILLING TO EAT THEM AS WELL. YEAH, BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT IT TO FALL APART WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING IN THE VAN TO THE NEXT JOB ` YOU KNOW, HOT PIE IN YOUR LAP. THAT'S NO GOOD. (YELLO'S 'OH YEAH' CONTINUES) I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD JUDGE THESE, BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL GOOD. I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY. I MIGHT CALL IN SICK THE REST OF THE DAY! IT LOOKS LIKE CALEB HAS FOUND HIS TRUE CALLING. # TIKA-TIKAAAAA. # E WHAI AKE NEI, COMING UP ON SEVEN SHARP ` E WHAI AKE NEI, COMING UP ON SEVEN SHARP ` HE FIRST APPEARED ON THE HOLMES SHOW AS A COMBATIVE YOUNG COMEDIAN. SO THIS IS IT ` THIS I THE BAR IN QUESTION, 'EASTSIDE'. THEY ENDED UP NOT USING MOST OF WHAT I SAID, BUT THEY VERY MUCH PRESENTED HIS SIDE OF THE STORY. I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT, SONNY. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, I AM GONNA GO TO TOWN. I'M SICK OF THIS. AND THE CONTROVERSY STILL FOLLOWS HIM ALL THESE YEARS LATER. FIND OUT WHY ED BYRNE IS STILL GETTING PEOPLE TO RAISE THEIR VOICES, NEXT. (GURGLING MONSTER ON TV) DAD: Hey, hey, guess what? I just got another scam text from the 'power company'... ...saying I need to pay my bill. $156.32. MOM: What Grant?! Final notice... What? Threatening to cut my power... ...think I came down on the last... (ELECTRICITY CUTS DOWN) Oh, is that a fuse, Grant!? JADE: That might be real Dad. Yes it might. VOICEOVER:We're blocking more scams than ever before. One New Zealand, let's get connected. That bit might be real, Dad. NAU MAI, HOKI MAI. WELCOME BACK. NICE TO HAVE YOU WITH US. IRISH COMEDIAN ED BYRNE IS CURRENTLY TOURING THE COUNTRY WITH HIS NEW SHOW, 'TRAGEDY PLUS TIME'. ON HIS VERY FIRST VISIT TO NZ, ED CREATED HEADLINES AFTER A DISPUTE WITH A LOCAL BARMAN, AND HE'S BEEN SELLING OUT SHOWS HERE EVER SINCE. YOU ARE MR ED BYRNE. THAT WOULD BE ME. THE HAIRSTYLES HAVE CHANGED OVER THE YEARS, BUT ED BYRNE'S TONGUE REMAINS AS SHARP AS EVER. PEOPLE WANNA KNOW WHAT MAKES ME LAUGH, IN THE SAME WAY AS YOU MIGHT SAY TO YOUR HAIRDRESSER WHO CUTS YOUR HAIR? OR YOU MIGHT SAY TO SOMEONE IN AN AUDI, 'WHO DO YOU THINK DRIVES LIKE A COCK?' (LAUGHTER) MY PROBLEM IS THAT I SHOULD BE ON TOP OF THE WORLD, BECAUSE... HE FIRST APPEARED AS A PRANK CALLER ON FATHER TED. STUPID PRIEST! THIS IS A PRIEST-ONLY LINE. ARE YOU PRIESTS? BUT IT WAS A ROUTINE ABOUT ALANIS MORISSETTE THAT CEMENTED HIS FAME. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SONG, IRONIC? HUH? 'ISN'T IT IRONIC?' NO IT'S NOT. ASK ME ANOTHER. (LAUGHTER) SHE KEPT NAMING ALL THESE THINGS IN THE SONG THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IRONIC, AND NONE OF THEM WERE ` THEY WERE ALL JUST UNFORTUNATE. (LAUGHTER) THE SONG SHOULD HAVE BEEN CALLED 'UNFORTUNATE,' I SAY. THE ONLY IRONIC THING ABOUT THAT SONG IS THAT IT'S CALLED 'IRONIC,' AND IT'S WRITTEN BY A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IRONY IS. THAT'S QUITE IRONIC WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) ED, WELCOME BACK TO NEW ZEALAND. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR HAVING ME. I FEEL LIKE YOU'VE BEEN COMING HERE FOR YEARS. I FIRST CAME TO NEW ZEALAND IN 1997, SO YES, I HAVE ` I HAVE BEEN COMING HERE FOR YEARS, YEAH. PARTICULARLY POSITIVE, MEMORABLE EXPERIENCES IN THE PAST? YEAH. WELL, I MEAN, THE FIRST TIME I CAME HERE, I SOLD OUT, BUT IT WAS COS I CAUSED CONTROVERSY, COS I GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH A BARMAN IN A BAR, I THINK, ON SHORTLAND STREET, THE EASTSIDE BAR. THIS IS THE THIS IS THE BAR IN QUESTION, 'EASTSIDE'? EASTSIDE BAR, 67 SHORTLAND ST. YES. AND YOU ARE MR ED BYRNE. THAT WOULD BE ME. YOU ARE A TRAVELLING IRISH COMIC. YOU MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A GYPSY. (LAUGHS) VISITING IRISH COMIC. A VISITING IRISH COMIC, YES. INDEED, I HEAR YOU'RE VERY FUNNY. OH, HILARIOUS, ACTUALLY, YEAH. I REMEMBER HE WAS STANDING IN MY LIGHT, SO I WAS IN THE DARK THE WHOLE TIME, SO THEY ENDED UP NOT USING MOST OF WHAT I SAID, BUT THEY VERY MUCH PRESENTED HIS SIDE OF THE STORY. AND THEN BECAUSE I WAS JUST SORT OF IN THE DARKNESS, I DIDN'T REALLY GET TO PUT MY VIEWPOINT ACROSS MUCH. I WATCHED IT BACK ` I WATCHED IT WHEN IT WAS BROADCAST AT THE TIME. I WAS GOING, 'OH, I DON'T THINK I CAME ACROSS VERY WELL THERE.' I TELL YOU WHAT ` IF YOU APOLOGISE TO ME FOR BEING OBNOXIOUS, I'LL APOLOGISE TO YOU FOR SAYING WHAT I SAID ON STAGE, AND I WON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOU ANY MORE. I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT, SONNY. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, I AM GONNA GO TO TOWN. I'M SICK OF THIS. DID HE SUE YOU? NO. RIGHT. HE DIDN'T HAVE A LEG TO STAND ON. YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST JOKING. I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LEAVING THE COUNTRY, LIKE, THERE WAS A WOMAN AT CUSTOMS, JUST WENT, 'OH, YOU'RE THAT GUY.' I GO, 'YEAH.' AND SHE GOES, 'I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE APOLOGISED.' (BOTH LAUGH) AND I CAN'T ARGUE. I'M, LIKE, 'I COULD GET DETAINED RIGHT NOW.' I DID MY BEST. I GAVE YOU A CHANCE. I GAVE YOU A CHANCE. I KNOW. I DON'T KNOW, YOU SHOULD HAVE SETTLED. YOU SHOULD HAVE SETTLED. YOU WERE AHEAD FOR A MOMENT. YOU KNOW. I'M GONNA OPEN THE BOX. OPEN THE BOX? I DUNNO ABOUT OPEN THE BOX ` YOU NEED TO OPEN THE BANK ACCOUNT IS WHAT I THINK YOU'LL NEED TO OPEN. YOU'RE A DAD NOW OF TEENS. YEAH. YEAH, A 12- AND A 13-YEAR-OLD. YEAH. AH. SIMILAR AGES TO MY KIDS. DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS ` ANY PARENTING TIPS FOR SOMEONE WHO'S IN THE SAME SITUATION AS YOU? YOU KNOW, AS REGULARLY AS YOU CAN, DISAPPEAR FROM THEIR LIVES FOR A MONTH AT A TIME TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, AND THEN YOU CAN COMPLETELY DIVORCE YOURSELF OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR UPBRINGING. THAT'S A HANDY ONE. IT'S GREAT HAVING KIDS. IT'S GREAT. IT DOES PUT STRESS ON THE RELATIONSHIP, I HAVE TO ADMIT. I REMEMBER BEFORE WE HAD KIDS, I'D SAY THINGS TO MY WIFE IN THE MORNING. FIRST THING OUT OF MY MOUTH WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE, 'OH, THAT WAS A CRAZY NIGHT LAST NIGHT.' OR, 'OH, HERE SHE IS, MRS DANCES ON THE TABLES.' (LAUGHTER) BUT TWO YEARS AGO, I REMEMBER MY WIFE WAS COMING DOWN THE STAIRS. AND THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH TO THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'M SPENDING THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH, WERE THE WORDS, 'OH, GOOD, YOU'RE UP. 'WATCH HIM WHILE I HAVE A SHIT.' (LAUGHTER) ONE THING I FIND ABOUT KIDS IS THAT NOTHING WILL EVER ANNOY YOU AS MUCH AS YOUR OWN CHILDREN, BECAUSE YOUR CHILDREN ARE ANNOYING IN WAYS YOU RECOGNISE IN YOURSELF, AND THAT'S VERY POWERFUL. IT'S LIKE A FEEDBACK LOOP OF IRRITATION, COS YOU'RE, LIKE, 'OH, THAT'S ANNOYING, YET STRANGELY FAMILIAR.' (BOTH LAUGH) OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE ANNOYING LIKE I'M ANNOYING. WELL PLAYED. SO YOU'RE ANGRY AT THEM, BUT YOU'RE MORE ANGRY AT YOURSELF, FOR BEING LIKE THAT AND FOR MAKING THEM LIKE THAT, YEAH. IT'S LIKE HAVING SOMEBODY, LIKE, REPEAT YOU IN A FUNNY VOICE ` YOU GO, 'I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT!' NO, YOU DO ` YOU SOUND LIKE THAT. SO IN TERMS OF YOUR AUDIENCE, YOU WERE DOING A LOT OF MATERIAL ABOUT YOUR KIDS. YEAH. AND HOW DID THAT WORK WITH YOUR AUDIENCE ` DO THEIR KIDS COME ALONG AND WATCH THE SHOW? THAT'S HAPPENED MORE NOW. THAT IS INTERESTING. MY AUDIENCE SKEWS YOUNGER NOW THAN IT USED TO. AND NOT BECAUSE I'VE BROKEN THROUGH ON TIKTOK OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, IS THAT MY REGULAR AUDIENCE ARE NOW OF AN AGE WHERE THEIR KIDS ARE OLD ENOUGH, THEY CAN BRING THEM TO THE SHOWS, BUT THAT IS NICE ` THAT'S QUITE GRATIFYING, WHEN PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, ARE BRINGING THE NEXT GENERATION ALONG. AND THIS SHOW, TO BE FAIR, THE ONE I'M DOING NOW ISN'T ABOUT PARENTING. THE LAST TWO OR THREE TOURS I'VE DONE HAVE, KIND OF, FOCUSSED A LOT ON BRINGING UP KIDS, AND PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE KIDS FIND THAT QUITE ALIENATING. I THINK OF ALL THE SUBJECTS YOU CAN DO, YOU COULD TALK ABOUT DREAMS YOU HAD ABOUT GOING TO THE MOON, YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE MOST SURREAL OR WEIRD THINGS, YOU COULD TALK ABOUT THE MOST ALIENATING SUBJECT ` NOT ALIEN, BUT THE MOST ELITE SUBJECT ` YOU COULD TALK ABOUT, HEY, DON'T YOU FIND WHEN YOU'RE FLYING FIRST CLASS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, AND PEOPLE CAN GO ALONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE. BUT THE ONE THING THAT ABSOLUTELY I FIND TURNS PEOPLE OFF IS TALKING ABOUT PARENTING TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE KIDS. YOU FIND OUT THAT'S THE ONE THING PEOPLE GET MOST ANGRY. AND NOT EVEN PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE KIDS. LIKE, I GET ANY NEGATIVE COMMENTS, IT'S SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF, I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT MY OWN KIDS; I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOURS. LIKE, THAT TENDS TO BE THE THING. ED'S CURRENT SHOW HAS GARNERED THE BEST REVIEWS OF HIS CAREER. IT'S INSPIRED BY THE DEATH OF THIS MAN, HIS YOUNGER BROTHER, PAUL. YEAH, SOUNDS LAUGH A MINUTE, DOESN'T IT (?) YEAH, THAT'S THE STORY AT THE CORE OF THIS SHOW. OSTENSIBLY, THIS SHOW IS ABOUT THE DARKEST JOKE I EVER TOLD. IT'S THE STORY OF THE DARKEST JOKE I EVER TOLD, WHICH WAS A JOKE I MADE TO MY MOTHER ABOUT THREE DAYS AFTER MY LITTLE BROTHER DIED. AND SO, IN ORDER TO TELL THAT JOKE, I HAVE TO TELL THIS WHOLE STORY ABOUT THE CIRCUMSTANCES UNDER WHICH MY BROTHER DIED AND ALL THAT, WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A VERY DOWNER SHOW, BUT IT IS ACTUALLY GENUINELY VERY FUNNY. CAN YOU TELL ME IN A NUTSHELL WHAT THE JOKE WAS THAT YOU TOLD YOUR MUM? OR WOULD THAT BE SPOILING? THAT A, WOULD BE SPOILING AND B, I THINK WOULD BE TOO DARK A JOKE FOR A 7 O'CLOCK SHOW. (LAUGHS) YEAH, YEAH. LIKE, I SAY, IT IS THE STORY OF THE DARKEST JOKE I EVER TOLD. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT WITH YOUR FAMILY? HAVE THEY SEEN THE SHOW? THEY'VE BEEN TO THE SHOW. MY DAD CAME, BUT HE DIDN'T HAVE HIS HEARING AID TURNED DOWN, SO HE STILL DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE SHOW IS ABOUT, YEAH. BUT, NO, I'VE DONE IT.` MY MOTHER HAS BEEN TO IT TWICE. SHE CAME TO SEE IT AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE, AND THEN SHE JUST SAW IT IN DUBLIN JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO. SO, YEAH, MY OLDER BROTHER AND MY SISTER HAVE ALL BEEN TO SEE IT, COUSINS AND STUFF LIKE THAT, SO YEAH. AND WHENEVER THERE'S PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE WHO I KNOW KNEW MY LITTLE BROTHER, IT ALWAYS PUTS AN EXTRA SORT OF STANK ON THE SHOW, AND I GET A BIT MORE EMOTIONAL WHEN I'M DOING IT. AND I AM AWARE THAT WHEN I'M DOING THE SHOW, THE ONES WHERE I BECOME MORE EMOTIONAL, THE SHOWS TEND TO BE BETTER, THE AUDIENCE ARE MORE INTO IT, AND THE LAUGHS ARE STRONGER AND STUFF LIKE THAT. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO CHEAPEN THE WHOLE THING BY CONTRIVING THAT ` I'M NOT GONNA START TUGGING AT MY PUBES TO MAKE MYSELF CRY ON CUE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. ULTIMATELY, IT'S ABOUT, YOU KNOW, CELEBRATING HIS LIFE AND TALKING ABOUT HOW, YOU KNOW, IF YOU FALLEN OUT WITH ANYBODY, YOU KNOW, IT'LL BE TOO LATE TO MAKE UP WITH THEM ONCE THEY'RE DEAD. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, PAUL DID HAVE A BIG FALL OUT, AND WE DID RECONCILE, AND I TALK ABOUT THAT. AND THAT'S, YOU KNOW, SORT OF, THE EMOTIONAL HEART OF THE SHOW. AND IT'S VERY GRATIFYING TO SPREAD THAT WORD ` YOU KNOW, TO SAY, LOOK, LIFE IS TOO SHORT. YOU KNOW, WE ALL FALL OUT WITH FAMILY. WE ALL FALL OUT WITH FRIENDS. WE ALWAYS WE GO THROUGH PERIODS WHERE WE DON'T TALK TO THEM. BUT TRUST ME, YOU WANNA RECONCILE. OTHERWISE, YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY'RE GONE, THEY'RE GONE. I DON'T START SINGING 'IN THE LIVING YEARS' BY MIKE AND THE MECHANICS AT ANY POINT, BUT... (BOTH LAUGH) AND IF YOU WANT MORE OF MY INTERVIEW WITH ED BYRNE, HEAD TO THE NEWS PAGE ON TVNZ+. WE'VE POPPED UP AN EXTENDED CUT OF THE INTERVIEW. THAT WAS PRETTY EXTENDED. HOW LONG IS THE EXTENDED CUP? ABOUT 15 MINUTES. HAS IT GOT THAT STUFF IN IT TO? IT AS THE DOCTORS CUT. I JUST SAW THAT STUFF. YOU COULD HAVE LEFT THAT OUT AND I COULD WATCH THE OTHER STUFF. I WILL. IT WILL BE GREAT. WE'LL BE BACK IN JUST A MOMENT WITH TOMORROW'S PLACE TO BE. ON THE SHOW TOMORROW, THE SMALL BUT MIGHTY MUSSEL, AND THEY'RE BEING BROUGHT BACK TO THE HAURAKI GULF IN THEIR MILLIONS. OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE LITTLE SUCKERS. SO THEY GO CHK-CHK-CHK, LIKE THIS, ALL THE WAY THROUGH, AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS THEY'RE RE-OXYGENATING THE OCEAN, THEY'RE GETTING RID OF` THEY'RE FILTRATING ALL OF THE SEDIMENTATION AND CLEANING IT UP. THEY'RE PROBABLY` ARE OUR OCEAN'S HARDEST WORKERS. THEY ACTUALLY NEED A MEDAL. THE PLACE TO BE TOMORROW IS ARROWTOWN. PUT THE FIRE ON, STAY INDOORS AND WATCH ALL THAT SNOW COME IN. NOT GREAT TO DRIVE IN, BUT GREAT NEWS FOR THE SKI-FIELDS. TOMORROW, WE'VE ALSO GOT 'ROCKY HORROR' CREATOR TOMORROW, WE'VE ALSO GOT 'ROCKY HORROR' CREATOR RICHARD O'BRIEN, TALKING ABOUT HIS NEW PROJECT AND HOW THE PROCEEDS WILL GO INTO CHILDREN'S HEALTH. THOSE WERE OUR PEOPLE TODAY, THAT WAS SEVEN SHARP TONIGHT. 'AMANDA AND ALAN'S ITALIAN JOB' IS UP NEXT. WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. POMARIE, CHEERIO. CAPTIONS BY ALEX BACKHOUSE, JAMES BROWN AND FAITH HAMBLYN. CAPTIONS WERE MADE WITH THE SUPPORT OF NZ ON AIR. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ COPYRIGHT ABLE 2024.