INDISTINCT YELLING INTENSE MUSIC GUITAR MUSIC (SIGHS) MUSIC CONTINUES Ted West, as I live and breathe. > FOOTSTEPS APPROACH What's that you're wearing, constable? That's detective sergeant to you, and it's a safari suit. No rhinos round here, Mike, just a pig dressed like a ponce. (LAUGHS) You timed your run well, just in time for the Games ` the opening ceremony's today. You came all this way to tell me this? As a matter of fact, I was thinking about the Smith & Caughey job. Wasn't down to you. It was your mates from Central. My mates from Central tell me there's a hole in the wall and a safe that never got opened. And a jeweller who said nothing was missing, right before he skipped the country. Well, never been one to listen to gossip. Why isn't your lovely missus here to meet you? Get in. I've got something for you. Hello, Rod. Get in. I've got something for you. Hello, Rod. Rita. What have you got for me today, sweetheart? Oi. Don't you touch anything. Leave the kid alone. I need my ring back. Ooh. Would that be the emerald or the garnet? My wedding ring. I have this to exchange. (CHUCKLES) What do you do with that thing? It's for grinding coffee. Why would you bother when there's instant? It's all I've got left. Urgent, is it? Yeah. Rita,... (SIGHS) I've always told you we can... work something out. Why don't we head out the back? WHISPERS: Fuck you. (GROANS, COUGHS) Come on, Wolf. # Watch your back... # ...when you're walking down the alleys, child. # Watch your back... # ...when you're out on the street # There's a stranger on your street these days. You can't see it through the fog and haze. # Well, everybody's going crazy, everybody's going crazy, # everybody's going crazy. # Copyright Able 2015 Rod Nugent is a dumb-bum. The word is 'arsehole'. What did you get? Good boy. Rita! Hi, Vern. Hi, Vern. Go and warm up the TV. What are you doing back? I'm back from the bay, finished up the wool stores. I've missed you. And I love you. INTENSE MUSIC My husband is out today, and if he finds out, then you'll be dead, so stay the fuck away from me. CAR ENGINE REVS SLOW ROCK MUSIC BRAKES SQUEAK So, who ratted you the cops, you reckon? Was it Bert? Phineas? Bilkey? Or Lefty? They all did less time than you. Come on, Ted. Who do you reckon it was? I'll be getting out about now. Don't you want your present? ROCK MUSIC CLICK! There you have it, boys, as foretold ` the treasure that isn't here. The Krugerrands. You're a genius, Ted. It's a merry fucking Christmas, all right. ALL LAUGH Got it off the boys in town. Take it. Use it, so I can have the pleasure of nicking you personally. Won't happen. How do you know? Cos I'm not a bowel movement dressed in a pastel suit. (LAUGHS) Gidday. How are the whingeing Poms? (CHUCKLES) Oh, scheisse. Hello, hello. Ted. Oh, look at you. Didn't think you'd be home so soon. God, it's good to see you. BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY (MOANS) BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY My God, you've grown. Aren't you gonna say hello to your old man? Hello. Go play over the park. Tea's at 6. Don't let off any firecrackers. DOOR SLAMS # I'll be knocking at an open door. # I like the dream. Can I have some more? # Cos it's all right... (PANTS) (GASPS) (SIGHS) (CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) (CHUCKLES) BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY (SIGHS) # Going steady. # (INHALES, BLOWS) (SIGHS) (INHALES) What did you do to yourself? I cut it. Where's your ring? I lost it. Actually, I... had to hock it to Rod Nugent. Things were a bit tight. What do you mean? Wives always get a cut of the job when their bloke's inside. Were there not enough jobs? There's a new rule ` only working members get a cut these days. Since when? The last six months. I didn't wanna upset you. (SIGHS) Not while you're inside. Those bloody pricks. Lefty. Lefty! Ngaire. Ted. You're out. I did write to say. Where's Lefty? Not here. New place, is it? Yes, it is. We like it. Where is he? Down the tavern with the lads. INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS Ted fucking West! (LAUGHS) Lefty. Give the man a glass. ROCK MUSIC PLAYS Ted. INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS Ted, good to see you. You too. Nice threads. Oh, perks of the job, you know. (CHUCKLES) Did you get my note about me getting out? Sorry, mate. Ngaire got her tits in a tangle about needing to watch the Games. But good to see you. Gidday, Ted. Phineas. INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ROCK MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY What's this I hear about Rita being cut out of the jobs? She wasn't cut out. There haven't been many jobs. It's been a bit thin, but, uh, we've got something we're cooking up. ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING QUIETLY TAB? Payroll? It's K9s. As in woof, woof? ALL CHUCKLE TVs, top of the line ` everyone wants colour for the Games. Knocking off a few tellies? Not just a few; they're worth 700 bucks each. I know. Three fucking years. WHISTLING ROCK MUSIC Went all right, then, boss? We got the money and the bag. Bless Smith & Caughey for being next to a yarpie jeweller. You want me to get this away? Nah. Get in there and do a bit of Christmas shopping. You sure? Yeah. It's Christmas Eve ` this town's deader than a doornail. (LAUGHS) Where do you think they keep handbags? That would be accessories and haberdashery. What about perfume? You got some totty on the go, Bert? It's for my mum. Oh, to be bloody single. I love being married. Good for you. I won't be getting much Christmas cheer from Ngaire. She found out about Janice? Sharon from Swanson. Mate. When are you gonna learn to keep it in your pants? (SIGHS) Christ. Did Bert already shift it? No, he's still inside. TYRES SCREECH, SIREN WAILS Run! Stop! On the ground, you two! Now! Shit. Look, things went tits-up. We all suffered for it. Some more than others. It's under the bridge, and you're welcome to be in on the job if you want. What did he say? Not enough jobs, he reckons. Waving his dick and his one poxy ball around, as if a burg's anything to write home about. That's the next job? Yeah, knocking off TVs. Where's the bloody skill in that? Things have gone downhill without you, that's for sure. I know one of them ratted. You think? Oh, they're all so smug, but at least one of them's sitting on a pile of Krugerrands. Who do you think it was? I dunno. But I'll find out ` < don't you worry. BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY Ohhh. (BREATHES HEAVILY) (MOANS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) You do know how much I love you? I love you too. # When I saw you... # yesterday. # (MOANS) So, so much. (BREATHES HEAVILY) You are the best wife a man ever had. Dobbie, it's Keith. I was driving along Dundas Lane, and there was a pig in the middle of the road. Anyone over there know anything about it? No, no, mate. You're in a different valley. No one knows a thing. No one? Yeah, you don't know anyone out that way who has pigs? Moa Creek? No, I'm not too sure over there. (SIGHS) Blimmin' pig. Hey, Michael. It's Keith. So, you got the picture? Yeah, it's not mine. You don't know anything about looking after pigs? Not really. I just know they taste all right. (OINKS SOFTLY) (SNUFFLES) DING! I got your email about Sue. Yeah, the pig. (LAUGHS) GENTLE MUSIC (OINKS SOFTLY) Just pop` Pop it down. MUSIC CONTINUES (OINKS) UPLIFTING MUSIC Life's better together, so stay connected on NZ's leading mobile network. just a pig dressed like a ponce. (LAUGHS) RADIO PLAYS QUIETLY Come on, love, time for school. They're not for you, all right? Mind your manners, boy. Chips and Vegemite. So, how's school? It's all right. What you got there? It's for results in the Games. Make sure you pay attention in class. Yeah, yeah. Leave him alone, Ted. He's got an attitude on him. He's had three years being the man of the house. He's not used to you being here. You can take it. No, no, you need it for housekeeping. See ya. RADIO PLAYS QUIETLY Shit. Shit. Shit. Rita. How are you, Vern? You told me to stay away. Then I felt bad for being so cruel to you. Well, you could come in if you want ` Da's at work, Ma's at the shops. Vern, we can never have what we had. Love has nothing to do with age, Rita. Even if it is impossible,... I want you to know... that I'm thinking of you. Well, anything your hand has touched is gold. Silly boy. INTENSE MUSIC BELL JINGLES I'd like to offer you more, but there's just not much call for the older Instamatics these days. I paid bloody good money for that. > Oi, what are you doing? I want that ring back, Nugent. Ted West. One and the same, you mangy ferret. How would you like me to call the cops? Then you'd go straight back where you came from. Give me the ring. Hey, hey, hey! I'll scone ya, then I'll call the pigs. Huh? POP MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY ANNOUNCER: And it's going to be Tayler, Tayler from NZ. CHEERING PHONE RINGS Yes! Come on! Come on! A great athlete, a great champion ...Dick Tayler of NZ. PHONE RINGS CHEERING Yes! All right. And you can see how he feels. What an outstanding run it was! It's not like it's a real sport. It is. Just a lot of blokes running around in their underpants. Phone for you. It's Lefty, about your meet. Right. He said to tell you it's 9 o'clock, corner of Lovelock Ave and Snell Pl. Better get busy, then. TV PLAYS QUIETLY How long is he back for? For good. TV PLAYS QUIETLY LOCK RATTLES There you go, boys. As foretold. Be nice if there was a forklift. You're all the machine we need, mate. What are you doing? They've got a safe. Old model too. What about it? We should have a crack at it. And that's what got us into a barrel of trouble last time. Let's get on with it. Time's a-wasting. So, how're you gonna offload these bastards? That's mine to know and yours to fuck up about. Come on ` that safe's sitting there, begging to be cracked. Ted, you're not calling the shots these days. Is that so? And I should listen to you because? I'm cutting you in. Was it you who grassed in 1970? Eh? You think it was me? Why not? Jesus, Ted, if you're gonna point the finger at me, why aren't you looking at Bilkey? Or Bert? Hell, he only did three months. That's cos I only had a bottle of Tweed for my mum. Or maybe someone cut you a deal. Look, Ted, the point I'm making is do you think we haven't been through this already? Blaming each other. We all did. I thought it was Phineas, and he thought it was you. Me? What the fuck? I've made it my life's rule never to dob, ever. You've gotta admit that's a good cover. I did three fucking years! Which makes you the least likely, which means you could be the most likely. That is idiotic. Mike McCarthy said it wasn't. Why are you listening to him? I don't have the Krugerrands! And neither do we! That's what we're saying! Yeah, at the same time as I'm being accused of being a narc! Mate, we've had years to talk through this, and do you know what answer we came up with? What if it was none of us? SOTTO VOCE: Guys? What if some scrote walked past, saw his opportunity, called the cops, filched the van? Guys, someone's out there, and if I can hear you, they can. SOTTO VOCE: Who is it? Bloke in a car. Shit, it's the porkers. TENSE MUSIC SOTTO VOCE: How long's he been there? Since you lot started yelling. Let's get out of here. My Mammy will kill me if I do another lag. < Yeah, not good. SOTTO VOCE: Not until I say so. SOTTO VOCE: Let's get out of here. ROCK MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUES That's not the cops; it's a john with a hooker! Too late now. Another fucking cock-up. (SIGHS) (SIGHS) There was a safe sitting right there, and Lefty wouldn't let me near it. And you know who they thought was the rat? Who? Me. Of all the bloody nerve. That's ridiculous. I met those fellas in 1962. We built things up, job by job ` TAB, payroll, but this TV bullshit? There's no skill in it. Ted, you don't need them. We were a gang. We were tight. It's like that race, Ted ` Dick Tayler didn't need a crew to win. He did it all on his own. He had a coach. Yeah,... well, so do you ` the best coach. So you get out there,... and you show me how you can win. (MOANS) I know you can. ROCK MUSIC Mmm. BOTH MOAN You dirty bugger. Ted? That Pommy prick from next door was looking in. Ted. I'll show that little pervert. Ted, leave it. Forget about him. He's a weirdo,... and he's gone now. Come back to bed, baby. He's been giving me funny looks ever since I got back. Oh, you know what? We should move, get ourselves a place somewhere else. We need more space. Well,... if we want more kiddies... You need to get back where you belong,... that's all ` in charge,... on top. You're the boss. (MOANS) You show them you don't need them. BOTH MOAN Where'd you get this? School. What, you nicked it? No. Don't lie to me. It's not like you don't take stuff. Hey, you watch your mouth. What's going on? He's got a whole pile of cash, and he won't tell me how he got it. I won it. How? We all put in, and whoever gets closest on the results gets the sweep. On what? The Games. You think it's dumb, but everyone's into it. You're running a book? Who thought this up? Me. (CHUCKLES) Not too stupid after all, eh? Hey, that's mine! I live here too, and we share and share alike ` that's how it works in this house. Ted. How are ya? You want a beer? A port and lemon would do the trick. Coming right up. INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS Hope you've got the receipt for that. 'Course. ROCK MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY I heard there might be a few hot tellies on offer ` a warehouse got knocked over last night. No shit. They didn't manage to finish the job, though. Bloody amateurs, eh? You're the one telling the story. And how are you managing? Well, if you lock yourself out of your house, you know who to call. I know things aren't what they were, Ted. Word is, these days it's the Lefty Munroe show. Personally, I've never thought he was much chop, all mouth and trousers ` not a patch on you. Jeez, all this flattery. Next you'll be offering to gobble my knob. I just wanna get things to rights. If you knew anything, could be a bob in it. Go fuck yourself with a rusty crowbar. You're a hard man to crack, Ted. Lucky not everyone's so proud. See you round, gentlemen. Thanking you very muchly. Did you catch Dick Tayler's race? What a run! Faster than a greyhound. ROCK MUSIC PLAYS SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC Vern. I was just... digging up some bulbs. How are you? Fine. But my parents haven't been well. What happened? Well, Da spent a night in hospital with some kind of blood problem. That's terrible. They blamed the lamingtons. How could that be possible? They were poisoned. No. Oh, I didn't eat any. I'm not fond of coconut on a cake ` it's like eating horse hair. But I forgive you, Rita. And I can take anything you throw at me. Except you having sex with that man. He's my husband,... and you don't have to watch. I want you, Rita. I need you. Vern, this has to stop. I know you think I'm young and useless, but you know how I was down the Bay, at the wool stores? I grew it, and I'm going to sell it. That's very enterprising. Well, I met some crazy people in Hawke's Bay. Blerta ` they have land, they all live together. You know, I could never share a kitchen. Oh, I'm looking at a place at Huia, for us. What about Wolf? Well, he would come, of course. And we could find our own little boy, take him back. He's ours, Rita ` he should be with us. I don't know where he went to, and I don't wanna talk about it. Rita, I know the suffering you've been through, but we are meant to be together. You are my goddess, my queen. (BREATHES HEAVILY) Oh, praise the Lord. Vern, stop. We need to be patient,... OK? Wait until the time is right. We need to go soon. With Dad? Of course, love. I liked it better when it was just us. It couldn't stay that way. I can get us money. That's sweet, honey, but things will get better soon. You'll see. Smell that! Your mother makes the best sausage rolls in Henderson. Are you ready for this? Last bash. You look fantastic. It's the last time I have to put up with bloody Ngaire Munroe ` may as well go out in style. That's my girl. Always. POP MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY Oh, Ted! Oh, gidday, Ngaire. Rita. Ngaire. And you brought your sausage rolls. Wouldn't be a party without them. Oh, Bert, you're such a darling. Pop them by the hedgehog. Ngaire, that is spectacular. Oh, I saw it the Weekly, thought it would be fun to try something new. You're a friend of Bilkey? Rita, this is my friend, Shandy. The lovely Rita. Stop it. Hi. Hi. Bloody nice telly. Oh, we got it for the girls, really. It's a bit of a swizz, though ` not all of it's in colour. Well, I'm sure it's just the beginning. Oh, Carol, here at last. Sorry we're late. My angels on horseback turned into devils. Well, at least they're crunchy. I'm such a twerp sometimes. Phineas' mum says I'm not fit to be a wife. Oh, and is there any news? Um... Oh, the other day when I went in for my hair appointment, Carol was saying she was late. It turned out to be a false alarm. Oh, that's such a shame. Oh well. We've got business. Might need a couple of these as well. I'm sure we can manage to keep ourselves entertained. Ladies? POP MUSIC PLAYS Oh yeah. Bloody lucky man, Ted. < CHUCKLING And how's Wolf doing? He's a box of birds. Rita's got the one boy, I've got three girls; poor Carol has none. SHRIEKING Jesus, that nearly split the sound barrier. Take off, you lot! (SHRIEKS) (LAUGHS) (SQUEALS) POP MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY (PANTS) FOOTSTEPS THUD I caught you ` you have to show me your knickers. Only if you show us your willy. All right, then. BUTTON CLICKS ZIP! (GASPS) (SCREAMS) BOTH LAUGH (GASPS) POP MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY There we go, lads. GLASS THUDS POP MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY PAPER RUSTLES Oh, well, that'll keep me in Gingernuts. It would have been more if things had worked out the way they were meant to. So, what's next? And I've got a few ideas. Well, you don't need to worry about splitting it five ways. Eh? I'd like to apologise to you all for having suspicions. It didn't help having Mike McCarthy putting the wind up. Well, he's done that to all of us. Yeah, he's real confusing. Well, it's been a fine thing working with you fellas for all these years, but it's time I moved along. Where to? Well, I'll still be here. So you're not moving along. It's a metaphor, Bert. Sometimes you have a different philosophy, and you reach a parting of the ways. What's going on? Ted's got the pip. Not at all. But I'm a safe cracker, not a removal man. And that's how it has to be. Lefty, time to get the barbie on. Oh, thank you, Ngaire, but we won't be staying. Oh, come on Ted, have another. Yeah, don't go, Ted. Wolf, time to go. Bye, Carol. See you, lads. Wolf! Good evening to you all. What's going on? Ted's slung his hook. Oh, what a terrible shame. He's your son too, you know. I know that. Then maybe give him a fucking break. He's not a bad kid. And stop talking like you're not coming back. TV: And in the 1500m the local crowd will be cheering for John Walker and Rod Dixon, but Jipcho and Bayi will be the ones to beat. So, who's gonna, win do you reckon? John Walker. Rod Dixon. Jipcho's got two golds, but I'm going Bayi. Good on you, son. Always good to back the dark horse. How long is this thing meant to take? The record's 3 minutes 33 seconds, but someone could break it. ROCK MUSIC # Call out help, someone's got to listen what she's gonna say... # TV: There've been so many great events in these, the friendly games. > No matter what you think, in track and field the mile is the star event. Ted. Good to see you. Steady on. People will talk. Mate, you can't leave us. It'll be all right. Lefty's a blowhard, but he's not all bad. And cutting Rita out ` that wasn't his idea. Whose was it? Ngaire. You know she wears the pants in that house, and she's never liked Rita. Because of her sausage rolls. Well, not just that. But you can't leave us, not after all these years. TV: He's already taken gold in the 5000m in the men's steeplechase, so will he make it a hat-trick? Just think about it, Ted. If you wanna start a new gang, I'm in. Yeah, me too. INDISTINCT CHATTER That's good of you, but excuse me ` I just need to drop some boys off in the pool. The 1974 Commonwealth Games, attended by the Royal Family. Walker on the inside. And if his past efforts are anything to go by, will go right to the front. And they take their marks,... and they're off! And Bayi goes straight to head of the field. Jipcho is right behind him, coming into second. CHEERING SAFE CLICKS CHEERING SAFE CLICKS CHEERING CONTINUES And John Walker from NZ. Jipcho five. KIDS CHEER Go, Bayi! KIDS CHEER ROCK MUSIC Walker and Dixon are powering through. (GRUNTS) 200m left in this electrifying race. It's still Bayi first for Tanzania. CHEERING KIDS CHEER Bayi! Go, Walker! TV: 80m left. And it's Walker chasing Bayi, but Bayi won't be caught. Bayi's gonna win it. And it's going to be very close to a world record. Bayi wins, Walker second, Jipcho next, Dixon next. And the world record has been taken apart, beaten by almost a full second. INDISTINCT TV COMMENTARY Walker should have had it. Walker and Dixon were robbed, don't you reckon? If you say so. (SCOFFS) He's taken silver for NZ and also beaten a world record ` gold and silver both take the world record. > CAR DOOR SLAMS How'd it go? Bayi all the way. Good lad. Here's what I owe you, with interest. Thanks, Dad. Like I say ` if you've got it, you share it. Hey, go on ` shout your mates an ice cream. Cool! BOYS CHEER It went all right, then? Could be a new record. Is that right? Dad, there's cops. VEHICLE APPROACHES INDISTINCT CHATTER TENSE MUSIC CAR DOOR SLAMS Gidday, Ted. Righto. SOTTO VOCE: What the bloody hell? TENSE MUSIC FUNKY MUSIC (CHUCKLES) Stop looking. It's wacky backy! Those leek munchers, eh? Whoa. How could you do this? How could you? What's he bloody on about? You hardly even know the bugger. Does he think you called the cops on him? No way. Wests never dob. They certainly don't. That's right, officer ` drugs. I've seen them. Well, here we are,... just me and my two best boys. Things are looking up, all right. You know what I'm after, so hand it over. It's not even real gold, you know. (GRUNTS) Argh! 1 BOY: Oh, you want the balls! BOY: Oh, you want the balls! PEOPLE CHATTER, DANCE MUSIC PULSATES They've been on the sauce. PEOPLE CHATTER, DANCE MUSIC PULSATES They've been on the sauce. Your party! DANCE MUSIC PULSATES They've been on the sauce. Your party! That's Mary's boy, isn't it? Yeah. Maybe you should say something. Yeah. Maybe you should say something. Nah. I'm crap at that kind of thing, Barry. Yeah, but they're just kids. If we don't say something... (GROANS) Hey, boys? Boys? Why don't you get a lift home tonight? Oh, whatever, mate. I've only had a couple. No, no, no, no. It's too late now. I've spoken to you and I know your mum, so that means our fates are aligned. You get into that car and you get yourself killed or you kill someone else, I become part of it too. How? yourself killed or you kill someone else, I become part of it too. How? Well, it's like, um, my balls are in your hands. BOYS LAUGH, SNORT BOY: Oh, you want the balls! BOYS LAUGH, SNORT BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? What? Oh. BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? What? Oh. BOYS LAUGH, DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? (SWITCHES RADIO STATION) BOYS LAUGH, DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? (SWITCHES RADIO STATION) YODELLING MUSIC PLAYS DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? I like it. (SIGHS) Where are we? How about you look in that letter box over there? You know I don't like surprises. Oh, go on, you silly bint. (SIGHS) BIRDS CHIRP Ted? You gonna put that back on? Well, unless you've had a better offer. What's this? That is the key to a castle,... a castle for my queen. # Step inside, give me room to move. Get yourself up, get your head in a groove... Oh my God. Ted? # Are you ready? What, do you like it? You better, cos I put a bloody deposit on it. I fucking love it. And I love you. ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES You know, there's a little something I want in return. You can roger me any way you want. Actually, I had something else in mind ` bit of a party. # You push her round, # and she won't shoot. # Going steady. # Going steady. # ROCK MUSIC FADES So this is their new place? Apparently. I thought they were on the bones of their arse. So did I. Did he say what this is all about? Nope. This is tremendous, Rita. We like it. Do have a drink. Ted. Mate,... good to see ya. How's about we crack the top off one of those? Sounds good. You could show the ladies around the hacienda. Love to. CHEERING CHUCKLING You could play a good game of backyard cricket out here. Any time. But first, a little business. What's this? Well,... fair's fair, and there's the share. Of what? Where'd you get this? I melted down all those krugerrands, what do you think? (LAUGHS) Come on. It was a golden opportunity ` a tavern full of punters, all eyes on the goggle box,... Friday night's take still sitting in the safe. You knock off the tavern? You were in the bog. Nope. But I thought you were out, going it alone. I've reconsidered. Nah, it's your job ` you keep it. What's mine is yours. Piss off. Hey, we go way back. I'm not some bugger running on his own in his singlet ` I need a team. We get back in business, and Mike McCarthy can suck on that. What do you say? BIRDS CHIRP BOTH MOUTH (SIGHS) All those bedrooms... BIRDS CHIRP (TUTS) just for the three of you. GLASS THUDS Oh, I've always wanted a breakfast bar. Tina, can you be a love and take Carol's asparagus rolls out to the men? They're a wee bit soggy. I'm sure they're perfect. OK. Did you wanna have a little girl talk, Ngaire? How did you get this place? My husband's a good provider. Bullshit. You cashed in the krugerrands, didn't you? I thought we weren't meant to touch them until we were on our own. I didn't touch them, Carol. Even though you wanted me to. Excuse me? You cut me off so I'd get desperate and break cover, and then you could blame me when it was all your idea. I caught him right here in our bed with that slapper from Swanson! He should pay for this, bloody pay! I was a little bit upset. You were the one who said we needed insurance for a time when our men weren't around. You both saw the sense in that. Yeah, we did. Yeah, it's Christmas Eve ` this town is deader than a doornail. (CHUCKLES) (WHISTLES) ENGINE STARTS Calling the police was never part of the plan. I told you back then ` I have no idea who called the police. I assumed it was you, to get back at Lefty for screwing around. You mean, it wasn't just bad luck? It might have been so Rita could get Ted out of the way while she went up north for a little while. That time when you went on holiday? When you came back, Wolf told Desiree that you while you were away, Mummy got fat. Eating was my only comfort. My husband was doing three years. So was it a boy or a girl? I know you don't like me, Ngaire, but there was no baby, all right? And this kind of bullshit is just dangerous gossip, because if we turn on each other, then we're all sunk. Have you still got your insurance? Yes. Hidden away. How about you? MARK WILLIAMS' 'YESTERDAY WAS JUST THE BEGINNING OF MY LIFE' # Ah. # Ah. # Yesterday was just the beginning... # of my life... # FUNKY MUSIC FADES How about we go and join the men? LAUGHTER CHUCKLING That's quite a good haul. Isn't it? You shouldn't be flashing that about, you know. Might need a new system for the cash. I know what Bert should spend his on. What, a case of deodorant? A hooker. LAUGHTER, STEVE ALLEN'S 'JOIN TOGETHER' PLAYS Oh, not this bloody racket. I like it. The Games are over. Yeah, but by Christ, they had their uses. To the Games! Bring on the footie! ALL: The footie! LAUGHTER STEVE ALLEN'S 'JOIN TOGETHER' CONTINUES PLAYING It's just like old times. Isn't it? LAUGHTER # ...in the spirit of the Lord above. # STEVE ALLEN'S 'JOIN TOGETHER' CONTINUES PLAYING What was the party for? Ted's shifted house. Just after that job at the pub? He was sitting there the whole time. But it's a nice place he's got. You call that information? I'm paying you for a bit more than that. I would never turn on Ted, not ever. You will, eventually. You were meant to get shot of them. You're better than them! I said I'd get you a new place, and I did.