(GRAND MUSIC PLAYING) (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2015 FRONT GATE BARKER: Hurry, hurry, step this way. Get your tickets now. Don't be shut out, friend. Step this way. See the most wondrous sights imaginable... pulled from the four corners of the Earth. Acts to delight, to thrill and to mystify! Walk through these gates and into a world of wonder! (MAN GRUNTING) She is here, ladies and gents, live and in person. That gun-slinging, sharp-shooting... honey-pie of the Wild West. He has travelled the world... and baffled the crown princes of Europe. He will amaze! He will astound! (CROWD GASPS) The Great and Powerful Oz! I always knew that I was destined for show business. And now look at me. A magician's assistant. To think, an hour ago I was just... selling oil cakes on the midway. OZ: Yes, well, opportunity comes... when you least expect it, my dear. (MAY GASPS) Wow! What a get-up. -You won't need this. -Oh. You are playing the simple country girl. (GASPS) Oh! (CHUCKLING) A gift in honour of your debut. Oh! Now, this belonged to my grandmother. A tsarina from Mirkutsk, and a decorated war hero. Your grandmother? Yes. She was killed in battle, the poor thing. Which battle? -Which battle? -Uh-huh. Well, there are so many. You've heard of the Battle of Kreplach? No. No? Good. That's where she died. And this music box was the only thing to survive. (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) (GASPS) But I know that Grammie would want you to have it. -(DOOR OPENS) -Professor. Frank! The sock is on the door. We're rehearsing. How many times do I have to tell you to knock? Knock. (MUSIC PLAYING) (KNOCKING ON DOOR) I knocked. -What is it? -Showtime. Why didn't you say something? Only a half a house. Here's the take. Pitiful. All right, this is your cut. For you, the applause will be approbation enough. (MAY LAUGHS) Well, how do you think I feel? A man of my talents... I should be playing the Orpheum Circuit! Instead of some dusty podunk... in a second-hand jacket falling apart at the seams. You're gonna have to patch this thing again. -Again? -Yeah. -Let's go. Hat! -(BLOWS) -Hat. -MAY: Hat. Okay. You're the new girl, huh? Yes. Good, we needed a new one. The last one left us. Poor thing. Suffered from a broken heart. Attack. Heart attack. But she's resting comfortably now in Abilene... expected to make a full recovery. Perhaps you'd like to join her. Now, remember, when I ask for a volunteer-- I raise my hand. (LAUGHS) You are overqualified for this job, my dear. Let's go make some magic. SIDESHOW BARKER: Ladies and gentlemen... the show has already begun. There are still a few seats left. Don't miss your chance to see Oz, the Great and Powerful! OZ: Journey with me now, across those deserts... to the mystical lands of the Arabian Peninsula. (PIANO PLAYING MYSTERIOUS MUSIC, SCATTERED APPLAUSE) For 5,000 years... her lonely spirit has been trapped. But tonight, we will attempt to free her. I shall require a volunteer from the audience. Anyone. Anyone. How about you, madam? Oh! Yes, I would like to volunteer. (LAUGHS HUMOURLESSLY) How kind of you. Please. (SOFTLY) Just remember what I told you. A simple country girl, ladies and gentlemen. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) Now, you have nothing to fear, just so long as you believe. For when you do believe... anything is possible. (BLOWING) You are growing sleepy. Your eyelids become heavy. Sleep! -Come, Fernanda! -(DRUM ROLL) (AUDIENCE GASPING) Allow yourself to merge with this woman before me. (AUDIENCE GASPING) Can you hear me, oh, Queen Fernanda? (HOARSELY) Yes. (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) Then rise. Rise! (GASPS) I command you to rise! (BLOWING PIPES) Rise from your tomb of sand. (AUDIENCE GASPING) Rise as your spirit-- I see a wire! You are mistaken, sir. I am not! There is a wire! There is a wire holding her up! A wire? I see it, too. It's right there. (AUDIENCE GRUMBLING) MAN 1: Clear as day. Can't you see 'em? MAN 2: He's fooling us. A wire! What need have I of wires? Frank. (DRUM ROLL) (CYMBALS CRASH) (GASPING) (APPLAUSE) Make me walk! What's that? Make me walk. Not now, kid. Let us leave the wonders-- But I believe in you. Look, it's not much, but it's all that we have. Whatever you could do. I would make you walk, it's just... It's just that... MAN 1: Well, go on, then. Make the girl walk. Make the kid walk. MAN 2: Come on, you big phony. BOY: Yeah, come on! I would make her walk, of course... but unfortunately there is... a distemper in the ether tonight. Make the kid walk, you big phony. You see? -(SOBBING) -I'm sorry, but-- (AUDIENCE JEERING) Thank you. Thank you. Oz, the Great and Powerful. Why didn't you close the damn curtain sooner? I was dying out there. There was nothing you could have done. I didn't really think it was that bad. Of course not. You're just a trained monkey. You know, you shouldn't be... so mean to me all the time, Professor. After all, I'm the only friend you've got. Friend? You're not my friend, Frank. I don't need a friend. What I need is someone who knows when to close the damn curtain. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) It's a woman. Ah! Finally some good news. You want me to wind up a music box? No. Not for this one, Frank. Hey, Annie. Hello, Oscar. Hmm. You look lovely. Thank you. What is this? Gingham? (CHUCKLES) You know it is. It was a wonderful show. Oh, don't tell me you watched that debacle. I don't know why you didn't just tell that poor girl the truth. What truth? That I'm a fake? They would have had my head. And worse, they would have demanded a refund. Come on, have a seat. I'll get you some tea. -(THUMPING) -Ooh! (OZ CHUCKLES) It's been a long time. I haven't seen you since-- The last time you rolled into town. It's not often enough, Oscar, seeing you once every few months. (SIGHS) Well, it is a traveling circus. How's everything on the farm? How's your ma? She didn't send me a pie this time. I hope she's not mad. I meant to write. I need to tell you something, Oscar. That's never a good start to a conversation. John Gale asked me to marry him. That's why I've come. I thought you should know. Oh. I think that's... That's wonderful, Annie. I said I had to think about it. (CHUCKLES HUMOURLESSLY) Oh, men love that answer. I wondered what you thought I should do. You could do a lot worse than John Gale. He's a good man. ANNIE: So are you. OZ: No. I'm not. I'm many things, but a good man is not one of them. But you could be. -(SIGHS) -If you wanted to. Well, that's just it. I don't want to. See, Kansas is full of good men. Church-going men that get married and raise families. Men like John Gale. Men like my father... who spent his whole life tilling the dirt... just to die facedown in it. I don't want that, Annie. I don't want to be a good man, I want to be a great one. I want to be Harry Houdini and Thomas Edison... all rolled into one. That's all I ever wanted for you, you know. Greatness. Then you understand. I do. But do you? Uh, Professor, you need to look outside. No, Vlad, please. It was his grandmother's. -(GRUNTS) -Ah! I'm gonna rip him in half! (GRUNTING) -No, please! -Get off! It was just his grandmother's music box. It meant nothing. STRONGMAN: Oz! I have to go. Congratulations on the engagement. Oscar. I'll see you in my dreams. -(STRONGMAN YELLS) -(SCREAMS) STRONGMAN: Oz! I'm gonna rip your head off! Zim Zallah Bim! Oz! There he is! He's out here! No, Vlad! Don't hurt him! Vlad! -Vlad, no! -Whoa! I'm gonna crush you, Oz! (GRUNTING) I'm gonna crush you! BAUM: Oz! Where are you going? Mr. Baum, I'll catch up with you in Milwaukee. Half of that balloon is mine! OZ: And the other half is mine! BAUM: All right, you loafers! Roll up those tents! (GRUNTING) -(LAUGHS) -(GRUNTS) Oz! -No, no, no. -You're not getting away! OZ: Where's my thing? Come here. Get him down, Clowny. No, you don't! Oh, no, you don't! (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) Ah! (LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY) OZ: So long, sucker! Get back here! FRANK: Oz! Oz, you're gonna need these! OZ: Throw it! Now! -Hat! -Hat! Ha-ha! You're a dead man! Farewell! Au revoir! Auf Wiedersehen! -(CROWD SHOUTING) -STRONGMAN: Run! Run! (GASPING) No, no, no, no, no! No! (SCREAMING) Whoa! Ah! Ooh! Ooh! (YELLING) (PANTING) (SCREAMING) (GASPING) Please, I don't wanna die! I haven't accomplished anything yet! Just get me out of here and I'll do great things! Please! Give me a chance! I promise! I promise. I can change. (NOISE DIES DOWN) (ORGAN PLAYING TUNE) (GASPS) (STRAINING) (WIND WHISTLING) (EXHALES) (LAUGHS) Thank you. Thank you! (SCREAMING) Come on, come on! Come on, come on! (GROANS) Oh! Oh! Huh? (SCREAMING) (CONTINUES SCREAMING) (TWITTERING) (BELLS RINGING) (CHIMES TINKLING) (CHIMING) (STRUMMING MUSICALLY (BLOWING TUNEFULLY) -(BUBBLING) -Huh? Whoa! No, no. No, no. Come on, buddy. I can't swim. No! I can't swim. (GASPING) Somebody, help me! (HOOTING) Thank goodness. I thought I was dead. Unless you're an angel. Am I in heaven? (LAUGHING) There is still hope for me! You won't regret this! I saw you fall from the sky. Oh. Uh... Yes, my balloon hit, uh, an inverted thermal. I couldn't compensate. WOMAN: I'd get out of the water if I were you. Oh. It's actually quite nice. I'd be more concerned with the River Fairies. Their teeth are small, but very sharp. River Fairies? (CHUCKLES) What's a River Fairy? -(CHOMPING SOUND) -Ow! Ow! Get off! Ow! Ow! (WHISTLING TUNEFULLY) Psst. Psst. (WHISTLING TUNEFULLY) Go on, get out of here. (WHISTLING TUNEFULLY) (CHITTERING) (WHISTLING TUNEFULLY) (WHISTLING TUNEFULLY) Spiteful little things, aren't they? Where... Where am I, exactly? Where do you think you are? I have no idea. It's... It's like no place I've ever seen. You're in Oz. Oz? But that's my name. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman... Henkle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs. But everyone calls me Oz. I knew it! The king's prophecy was true. He said that a great wizard... bearing the name of our land will descend from the heavens, and save us all. And here you are. Here to claim your throne. "Claim my throne"? You mean, like a king's throne? Well, yes. Because you will be our king. Your king? Like, in a palace with a crown and a sceptre? Yes, a beautiful sceptre and a grand palace. Oh... And you will save all the people. Was that a gold sceptre? Yes, there's more gold than you could ever imagine. And Oz will now be what it once was. Because you are the Wizard, aren't you? Yes. I'm the Wizard. (CHUCKLES) -(LOUD SHRIEKING) -(GROWLING) What was that? The Wicked Witch's minions. They've been sent here to kill you. Kill me? -A wicked witch? What? -Oh! We better hurry or your reign will be over before it's begun! -Whoa! -Whoa! -OZ: All right, okay... -(PANTING) -OZ: Oh! Whoa! -Oh! OZ: Come on! In there! Give me your leg. -(CREATURE GROWLING) -Huh? (CREATURE GRUNTING) (FOOTSTEPS THUMPING) Oh... Perhaps the Wicked Witch has summoned them back. I don't think I like witches. (CHUCKLING) What? I... I, too, am a witch. I am Theodora the Good. (LAUGHS) You're not a witch. Of course I am. Where are all your warts? Where's your broom? What would I do with a broom? Fly. With a broom? Never mind. -(LOUD THUMP) -(BOTH GASPING) (CREATURE SNARLING) (GASPING) You were afraid? Yes. That something might happen to you. OZ: So, this Wicked Witch... just how wicked is she? THEODORA: She's as wicked as they come. She poisoned her own father. That's pretty wicked. He was a king and a wizard, like you. But she wanted the throne all to herself. Poor man. But my sister chased her away from the Emerald City. I can't wait for her to meet you. She was starting to doubt you'd ever come but now she'll see. And you're going to fix everything. Yeah. You know what I think we need? A little music. Is that magic? In a way. It's a music box. You've never seen one? Well, this belonged to my grandmother. A tsarina from Mirkutsk. (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) Go on. I want you to have it. No one's ever given me anything just because they wanted to. A pretty girl like you? With the visage of Helen of Troy, no less? I'm sure you have dozens of admirers. You don't know much about witches, do you? Maybe not, but I'm told I'm a fast learner. May I have this dance, milady? Now you're gonna tell me no one's ever asked you to dance before. No one ever has. Then it's high time that you learned. Put your hand here. And your other hand here. Nice, isn't it? Yes. -It's incredible. -Yeah. Here I thought I'd live a lonely life... -and then you showed up. -(SIGHS) Not only are you the Wizard... but you're the person I belong with. Well, we sure get along. And... And? And... like you said, we belong together. Oh! I was hoping you would say that. -Yeah. -(CHUCKLES) FINLEY: Help me! Somebody, save me! (GRUNTING) THEODORA: That poor little creature. Wizard, we must save him. Somebody, help me. Oh, no, no, no. Allow the Wizard. FINLEY: Help me! Come on! Of course I'll save this... little talking monkey in a bellhop's uniform. You, mister! Please, hurry up. Do you have anything sharp? Like a knife or something. How about your teeth? What kind of teeth you got? OZ: (CHUCKLES) Calm down, it's gonna be all right. You gotta get me out of these vines. Calm down. I'm gonna die. It's gonna eat me. Don't worry. These vines aren't gonna eat you. Not the vines, the lion! (LION SNARLING) -Lion? -(ROARS) FINLEY: We're gonna die. -(SCREAMING) Eat him first! Eat him first! Zim Zallah Bim! Be gone, coward! Fear my greatness! -You were wonderful, Wizard. -(SCOFFS) "Wizard"? You mean the prophecy was true? Indeed. All right, well, I've saved the day. It was nothing, just a little prestidigitatic display. -Shall we to the palace? -Oh! Yes. -Good day, sir. -Wait, please, sir. My name is Finley. My master's home was ransacked by the Wicked Witch's baboons. And I've been hiding in these woods ever since. But now you've saved my life, oh, Wizard. So I hereby swear a life debt to you. No... No need. From this moment on... I shall be your loyal and faithful servant until death. Well, he is cute. All right, you're hired. Wonderful. Let's shake on it. My bag, monkey. Surely. You must travel light. (CRASHING) I got it. (FINLEY GRUNTING) You two run along. THEODORA: It's the Emerald City. Just down this hill, along the Yellow Brick Road. OZ: Wow. It'll all be yours now. It's a good thing green is my favourite colour. (THEODORA LAUGHS) You are going to make the best king Oz has ever known. Thank you. And I will be so proud to be your queen. My queen? We'll spend a lifetime together. But right now, there's thousands of people in Oz... waiting to witness your miracles. (CHUCKLES) Thousands? That's a big show. (FINLEY GRUNTING) Phew! What now, Wizard? Monkey, tell me again about that life debt. -I devote my life to you. -Mm-hmm. Whatever you wish, whatever you want. It is my sworn duty to deliver for you... -until the end of my days. -Mmm-hmm. And there's no getting out of it? None, sir. It is irrevocable. Good. Because I'm not the Wizard. (FINLEY LAUGHS) Oh, sir, your sense of humour is as boundless as it is wondrous. -You remind me-- -Monkey. I'm not the Wizard. Well, you could have told me before I sealed the life debt. It's too late. You got to come clean for that innocent young girl. I'll deal with her later. As my new assistant, all you need to know are the three "up"s. Show up, keep up, shut up. But` What's the third "up"? Right. Now, listen, I'm depending on you. We need to convince the good people of Oz... that they've found their wizard. (FANFARE PLAYING) (HUFFS) THEODORA: Hello, Knuck. Theodora, we've been expecting you. I shall blow a fanfare. (BLOWING TRUMPET) No, no, no, no. No. Not now. (KNUCK GRUNTS) This is the Wizard. How do you do, sir? -This is the Wizard? -(THEODORA GIGGLES) Is there a problem? Yeah. (SOLDIERS GRUNTING) -LEADER: Halt. -(GUARDS VOCALIZE) (WHISTLE BLOWING) All hail the Wizard. WINKIE GUARDS: All hail the Wizard. All hail the Wizard. The mightiest of mighties. The greatest, most powerful... and most genuine of real and true wizards. Thank you. A wizard above scrutiny with no covert agenda... or subversive intention whatsoever. -Okay. -A wizard... of the highest moral rectitude. He's just a real, good, solid wizard, everyone. The Wizard, here he is. How'd I do? -(HORSES WHINNYING) -LEADER: Forward, march! FINLEY: (STAMMERING) Hello? Guys? Can I get in the carriage? Can I please get in the carriage? (STRAINING) I shall blow a fanfare. -THEODORA: Not now. -(KNUCK GRUNTS) Is that it? Is that my throne? Do you like it? I do so hope you like it because I've been personally watching over it awaiting your arrival. OZ: Oh... Much obliged. Praise be you are here at last... and the prophecy shall be fulfilled. Oh, this is a glorious day for us all. And may I add, you're as... handsome a king as we've ever had. (CHUCKLES) Flatterer. Who is this fetching woman? This is my sister. I am Evanora, the royal advisor. I have been protecting the Emerald City whilst we awaited your arrival. I am here to serve you as I served the king before you. Well, I look forward to being served. Oh, sister, I like him already. Oh... My sceptre. EVANORA: Oh, yes, go on then, have a seat. How does it feel? Fits like a glove. Goodness. Knuck will show you to your chambers and then we can, uh... (WHISPERING) We can chat more later. Can't wait. Monkey, my bag. Yes, Wizard, right away, oh, great and powerful one. (KNUCK GRUNTING) -Thank you, sourpuss. -Whoa! (GRUNTS) My name is Knuck! Isn't he wonderful? Didn't I say he would come? You dare escort that oaf in here... and allow him to climb on the hallowed throne? And why not? He is the Wizard. "The Wizard." Or so he says. Did it not occur to you... that he might be an imposter... in league with the Wicked Witch and sent here to kill us? The Wicked Witch? Don't be ridiculous. (SCOFFS) I'm not the one who's underestimating her cleverness. Or maybe it's you I'm underestimating. Have you finally joined her side, sister? I am on no one's side. You know that. I simply want peace. It's all I ever wanted, and the Wizard can do that. He's a good man. What do you know about goodness? Deep down, you are wicked. I am not wicked! (THEODORA GASPS) That temper really is wasted on you. Do you honestly think... that I could conspire against you with her? You are my sister and I love you. All right. But I do need proof that he is who he claims to be. But he has already proven himself. Not to me, he hasn't. OZ: Thank you for the tour. It's my job. Giving tours? Taking care of the king. (LAUGHS) Of course. And on that note... I was thinking it might be nice to have a royal feast. Maybe a grand roast. You know, my sister has been telling me... that your magic is really quite powerful. Oh, really? Yes, uh, boggling to the minds of all who witness it. Oh, I do wish I could see it for myself. -Yes. -(GASPS) Why not show me now? -Now? -Here. All things in good time. And a good time for all things. (CHUCKLES) So wise. So true. Well, um, there is one last room that I would like you to see. The royal treasure of Oz. It belongs to whoever is king. (SIGHS HEAVILY) It's all right, Wizard. Go and enjoy your riches. (OZ LAUGHING) It's mine! Mine! Oh, no more second-hand suits for you, baby! Nothing but the silks and satins! Ali Baba! (LAUGHING) And one of these things! What is this? A chalice. A chalice! I've always wanted a chalice. And now I've got one. Well, uh, not quite yet. You see, you only become the king... after you defeat the Wicked Witch. That's the prophecy. And since you haven't done that yet, you're not-- I'm not actually king. Not yet, no. You still have to get rid of the Wicked Witch. Right. And killing her won't be easy. No, I don't suppose it will be. Mmm. Wait a minute. No one said anything about killing anybody. Oh. Well, if you're not interested in being king, that's all right with me. We can just forget about the whole thing. The gold and the rubies, the chalice. I'm interested! I'm just not too keen on killing a lady. She's not a lady. She's a wicked witch. And your magic is the only thing strong enough to destroy her. All you have to do is journey to the Dark Forest and destroy her wand. -Her wand. -Yes. It's the source of all her power. Without it, she dies. I haven't even said goodbye to Theodora. She will be upset. I will talk to her in the morning. I will tell her how much you love her-- No. No, don't... Don't say anything. All right. I will say whatever it is you want me to say, but are you going to save us all or not? I'm your wizard. FINLEY: We're really gonna do this? How hard could it be to kill a wicked witch? Hard. Really hard. It's very very hard to kill a wicked witch. And what about that poor girl back there? I think she really liked you. She'll get over me. They always do. She's a pretty young witch. There'll be plenty of wizards knocking at her door. Oh, every lie you tell gets us one step closer to the Emerald City dungeon. Then don't think of them as lies. Think of them as stepping stones on the road to greatness. Wait, I got it. We'll turn around and go back. You'll come clean. You apologize for lying about being the Wizard... and for lying to that poor girl. Okay? You gotta really seem contrite. You gotta sell it. Maybe you could even cry. Can you cry? I could cut up an onion. We're not going back. We're gonna find this wicked witch, steal her wand... I'll get that big pile of gold and you can have a nice pile of bananas, all right? Bananas. Oh, I see. Because I'm a monkey, I must love bananas, right? That is a vicious stereotype. -You don't like bananas? -Of course I love bananas. I'm a monkey, don't be ridiculous. I just don't like you saying it. How about this? We offer to wash all the windows in the Emerald City -for an entire year. -Uh-huh. FINLEY: They'd have to forgive us. Or we could give them a little help with their infrastructure. I noticed some yellow brick potholes back there. That looks bad. We're not going down there. Someone might need our help. Not that you care. Get back here! You get back here! We gotta get the Wicked Witch. What are we doing over here? What happened here? (CRUNCHING) (WIND WHISTLING) -(GIRL SOBBING) -(GASPING) (SOBBING CONTINUES) Hello? -Hey, there. -(GASPS) -Are you all right? -(SNIFFLING) Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt you. This is Finley. Hi. My name is Oz. GIRL: Are you... Are you the Wizard? Oh, you... You've heard of me. Everyone has. Good. Then you know there's nothing to be afraid of. So, just come on out of there. But I can't. Oh. All right, hold on. Get this off of you. Oh, no. (SNIFFLING) I'll never get back together. Don't worry. I think I have something. Give me that bag. I, uh, packed something... There it is. -CHINA GIRL: What is that? -Magic in a bottle. Magic? Let's give it a try. All right. Just give it a little dab. Like so. Okay. Should work. There we go. Ta-da! -(RUMBLING) -Oh, no, no, no! (FINLEY GASPING) They're coming back! (BREATHING SHAKILY) It's okay. (SNIFFLING, SOBBING) They're gone. The Wicked Witch sent them. Why? Last night... the whole town was celebrating out in the streets... because we had heard that you finally arrived. Me? Everyone was so happy. But then... But then those things flew in. And then... And then they... (SOBBING) Here we go. Last piece. Would you like to try to stand? There. All right. There we go. Easy. Okay. -I'm gonna let you go. -Oh! Okay. Now walk to me. I don't think I can. OZ: I think you can. Come on. (LAUGHING) All right. You did it. Thank you. (FINLEY SNIFFLES) "Dark Forest." All right, this is it. Just head on down that way, about two, three hours. You'll hit the Emerald City. Tell them I sent you, they'll take great care of you. Nice meeting you. But... I wanna go with you. What? Aw... On a witch hunt? No, you're just a little girl. I'm not as delicate as I look! That didn't hurt. I'm coming with you. Listen, we have one rule in show business. Never work with kids or animals. And I'm already working with this thing. -(GROWLS) -Relax. The answer's no. (SNIFFLING) Oh, no, no, no. Don't... Don't do that. You're fine. (SOBBING) You're gonna leave me alone. Look, you're... You're fine. On a road in the middle of nowhere? All you have to do is take the Yellow Brick Road. You'll get there. (SOBBING HYSTERICALLY) It's crying again, what do I do? (CHINA GIRL WAILING) Oh, no. Off. Come on. Off. -Off of there! Scat! Get off! -Please let me come with you. No! Get off of there! -I promise I won't bother you! -No dolls on the witch hunt! (CONTINUES SOBBING) Fine. Fine! If you wanna come, come. We'll all go, it'll be a big party. Great. Let's go kill ourselves a witch! (HUMMING CHEERFULLY) (BRANCHES CREAKING) (CROWS CAWING) CROWS: You'll die, you'll die, you'll die! Did those crows just say that we were gonna die? They did. CHINA GIRL: Wizard? (OZ GRUNTS) Come on. CHINA GIRL: I'm scared. (OWL HOOTING) Think there are ghosts out here? No. Of course not. Evil spirits maybe? The undead? (WHIMPERING) The undead? Will you stop that? (CHINA GIRL GASPS) (FINLEY SCREECHING) No. Get off! Something's got my tail. Something's got my tail! Will you calm down? (ALL SCREAMING) (SNARLING) No! What is it? -CHINA GIRL: Look out! -I wanna go home! I wanna go home! -Hey! -Hat! Thanks. CHINA GIRL: Look out! -OZ: Come on. -(FINLEY YELLING) (GROWLING) OZ: Hate the Dark Forest. Hate the Dark Forest. CHINA GIRL: (PANTING) Oh, my gosh. That was close. Where are we? OZ: This must be the place. So, how are you gonna kill the Wicked Witch? All I need to do is get her magic wand. Once I destroy that, she's finished. Why don't you just use this? -It's got a knife! -Where'd you get that? I'm made of china. I gotta protect myself somehow. Give me that. -Hey! -(KNIFE CLATTERING) -Honestly. -"Honestly" yourself. (GASPS) Look. CHINA GIRL: That must be her. OZ: (WHISPERING) She put down the wand. But how are we gonna get it? Hey! (WHISPERING) Now, listen up. Here's the plan. The Wicked Witch is the triangle. Monkey, you're the X. I'm the O. China Girl, you're the squiggly line. I wanna be a heart. Can I be a heart? All right, fine. You're a heart. Okay, now, heart stays here... as O makes his way over here. X counters thusly. Clear so far? (SNEEZES) -(SNIFFLES) -Bless you. Good work. You just sneezed away the plan. -Sorry. -Never mind. Just go over there and make some of your animal noises. I'll grab the wand when she's not looking. Get out of here. (QUIETLY) Yes! Come on, come on. (CHAINS ON GATE RATTLING) (GATE CREAKING) -(GASPS) -Oh, no! (GASPING) FINLEY: Moo! Moo! Moo! A cow? FINLEY: Moo! (WHISPERING) Come on. Come on. -Hurry! -I got it! -Break it. -Break it, Wizard. -All right. -Break it! WOMAN: Did you say "Wizard"? (ALL SCREAMING) No! WOMAN: Are you really the Wizard? Um... That's a complicated question. I mean, what is a wizard? I... Um... Yes... I'm the Wizard. Then there's hope. What's going on? Not sure. I sneezed the plan away. I have waited so long to meet you. So, we've never met? Certainly not. I'd remember a thing like that. You've never been to Kansas? What is Kansas? Is that where you're from? My, you must have travelled very far to get to the Land of Oz. I did. I'm Glinda the Good. The Witch of the South. I thought Evanora was the Good Witch. Evanora is the true Wicked Witch. Conniving and as cruel as they come. She's fooled most everyone, including her own sister. She made everyone believe that I poisoned my father... -but it was her. -CHINA GIRL: Then... she's the one who destroyed my village? I'm so sorry, child. FINLEY: Here's your wand. Sorry I mooed. And to think, you almost killed Glinda for a bit of gold. OZ: A bit? There were mountains of it, buddy. Not that I was going to do it. I wasn't really going to break your wand. Follow me. Okay. EVANORA: No. No, no, no, no, no. It cannot be. Curse you, Glinda. You should be dead. I'll see you dead yet. Curse you and your pretty little face. -(DOOR OPENS) -THEODORA: Sister. Sister, the Wizard is missing. I've looked everywhere, but he's gone. What is it? Where is the Wizard? (CLEARS THROAT) Where's the Wizard? With Glinda. (SIGHS) Then it's happening. Oh, sister, he's fulfilling the prophecy. He'll bring her darkness to the light... and peace to the land. Yes, I'm certain that's what is happening. It must be. Where did you get that? This? Oh. It was a gift. From him. He came to my chambers last night. Oh, how we danced. -For hours, it seemed. -(QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, I can still feel his body pressed against mine. Oh, sister, you were right about him. He is the great Wizard. He must be, to make me feel the way I feel. Oh, no. Not you, too, sister? He said we would rule Oz together. He said I would be his queen. Did he? Are you quite sure it wasn't you who said it to him? (SOBBING) You fool! (WAILING) Serves you right. (SCREAMS) I want Glinda and that wizard torn to shreds. Do not fail me a second time. (YELLING) Fly! (GUARDS GRUNTING) GLINDA: On the day my father died, we lost a kind and noble leader. And a dark shadow was cast across this land. I've had to stand alone against Evanora and watch... as towns were destroyed, children were orphaned and my heart was broken. I've been unable to protect the good people of Oz by myself. With only faith in my father's prophecy, I've waited. For you... great Wizard from Kansas, to come and set things right. Oh. So, that's the prophecy. Um... Well, you see, when I agreed to be king... I didn't realize how complicated all of this was. She knows. What? Evanora knows you know the truth now. Look. CHINA GIRL: Oh, no. Uh... What do we do? Wizard, now is the time. -The time? -Use your magic. Oh... My magic. Yes. Uh... (YELLING) I think we should run. Run? Yeah. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) You heard the Wizard. Run! CHINA GIRL: Let's get out of here! OZ: Let's go! (OZ WHIMPERING) They're gaining on us! (STAMMERING) What are you doing? Is... Is that gonna stop them? I don't know. (GUARDS GRUNTING) Nice work. We lost them. Phew! That was close. Yeah. Wait, I hear something. (ROARING) (ALL SCREAMING) CHINA GIRL: They're getting closer! OZ: Wait for me! (OZ GRUNTING) Look out! (VOICE ECHOING) Monkey! Little China Girl! CHINA GIRL: Wizard! I'm over here! -(GRUNTS) -(CHINA GIRL SCREAMING) -Help! Catch me, please! -Got you! (OZ GRUNTS) -Are you all right? -Yes. I'm okay, too. (BABOONS SCREECHING) Just go! Great! A bunch of fog. This is her big idea on how to save us? Well, it was the best I could do under the circumstances. Uh... (ALL PANTING) OZ: Oh, okay. Whoa! Catch her! Get me! Don't let go! CHINA GIRL: Monkey, grab her! OZ: Don't let go! Don't let go! FINLEY: Pull my tail. Ow! -Not so hard. -(ALL STRAINING) CHINA GIRL: They're getting closer! OZ: What do we do? What do we do? Just do what I do. -Unless you've got something. -Uh... No, you go. Wait. What are you doing? Wanda! Where are you going? She said to do what she did. Just because she jumped off the cliff, you're gonna jump off the cliff? I have wings. -What about me? -CHINA GIRL: Come on! Um... (SCREAMING) (BUBBLING SOUNDS) Whee! Whoa! Oh! Oh! Whoa! (GIGGLES) Wow. Whoa! Oh! Oh, oh, oh! These things go kind of fast, huh? (GIGGLING) Hey, is... Is that a wall? GLINDA: Of sorts. It repels our enemies and protects us from harm. But we're headed straight for it. GLINDA: Yes, we are. And going very fast. How do you, uh... Does this thing have any brakes? Uh... I'm going too fast! I'm gonna die! GLINDA: You needn't worry, Wizard. It's a magic wall. And all good-hearted souls get to pass through. I'm gonna die! (OZ YELLING) Wanda! Oh! CHINA GIRL: It's beautiful. (PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) They've waited a long time for you, Wizard. (SHOUTING EXCITEDLY) (CROWD CHEERING) -Oh! -Whoa! All hail the great and powerful Oz! ALL: Hail! Thank you! Wow, you're a wonderful crowd. You put the "merry" back in "the merry Land of Oz." -(LAUGHS) -(CHEERING) Hi, what's your name? You're very beautiful. Oh, thank you. Girls, listen, I am not a toy. I am not a toy! -(KISSING) -Oz! Oz! -Hello! -(CHEERING) What? No fireworks? What are fireworks? Remind me to show you sometime. Glinda, I didn't know if you'd like these, or these. They're both so beautiful, I couldn't possibly decide. MAN: We need your help, Wizard. WOMAN: Please save us! You know, I should tell you, um... I might not actually be a wizard. Yes, I know. Oh. At least, not any kind of wizard we were expecting. You could tell? Yes. I can also tell you're weak, selfish, slightly egotistical and a fibber. I see. Anything you don't know about me? Whether or not you'll save my people. No. I just told you I'm not the Wizard. But they don't know that. If you can make them believe, then you're wizard enough. These are desperate times, after all. Can you make them believe? Will I still get that gold? Uh-huh. Good people of Oz. Your Wizard is here! (ALL CHEERING) What's the matter, sister? THEODORA: Look at how happy they are. Do you think she'll be his queen? EVANORA: Well, of course she'll be his queen. -What did you expect? -(SIGHS) You can't compete with Glinda's charms. No one can. Oh, God. Sister, it hurts. Such is a broken heart. Your precious wizard did that to you. Make it stop. Would you like me to? One bite is all it takes. One bite and your world will change forever. One bite and your heart will become impenetrable. One bite and you and I will finally share the throne. Unless you'd rather see Oz and Glinda there. (VOICES WHISPERING) (GASPS) You're the wicked one. Not Glinda. Sister, you lied to me. It's nice, isn't it? How clear everything becomes. (GASPING) (GROANING) (SHRIEKING) (GASPING) What is happening to me? Oh, it's just your heart withering away. Fear not, Theodora, for soon you will feel nothing at all except... beautiful wickedness. (GROANING) (SCREAMING) (DISTORTED LAUGH) Sister? (GASPING) (GASPING) Oh, sister, you're hideous. (THEODORA GROANS) I can cast a simple enchantment and have you looking just the way you were before. No! This is who I am now. I want him to see me like this. I want him to know that he was the one who made me this way. (CACKLING) Oh, dear. It's imperative that you behave like the great leader that they think you are. Morale is essential if we have any hope of defeating Evanora. And I assume you have a plan. No. You have a plan. You're going to lead us into battle and take back the throne. And do we have an army to help do this? Of sorts. The Quadlings, Your Highness. You're soldiers? No, sir. Farmers, mostly. Farmers? But you can fight. No, sir. Many of us can hoe. Oh, you can hoe. -And I can work with iron. -That's good. -I bake bread. -Yummy. -I can sew. -Not so helpful. I can make a scarecrow. Ah! Well, that'll come in handy. -It might. -Hmm. -And these are the Tinkers. -(TINKERS GRUNT) Are you kidding me? We're tougher than we look, Wizard. (TINKERS CHEER) What they lack in stamina the Tinkers make up for in ingenuity. They can build anything. (TINKERS CHEER) OLD TINKER: And I'll tell you what else. We can build anything. Yeah, I got it. And we're prepared to storm the Emerald City. (TINKERS CHEER) If you don't keel over on the way there. Ow! And, finally, the Munchkins. (UPBEAT FANFARE PLAYING) Ah! Please tell me you gentlemen can fight. No. But we make pretty clothes. Also, we sing. Uh, no, that won't be necessary. I like it, I think it's cute. I hope you like it. # The prophecy was clear # The wind would bring you here # And so it was A man named Oz # Would magically appear All right, enough. # So, sound the battle call # The Wicked Witch will fall # And so it is the wondrous Wiz # Will come to save us all... # All right, that's enough! Munchkins, stop! (SINGING STOPS) (OZ SIGHS) They do make beautiful clothes. All right. Now, listen, Wanda. Glinda. Guys, um, take five. Uh, Glinda, these are all very lovely people. But do you honestly believe that they can kill a wicked witch and an army of flying baboons? I don't expect them to kill anyone. What do you mean? I mean the good people of Oz are forbidden to kill. Forbidden to... You want me to lead an army that can't kill? If this was easy, we wouldn't need a wizard, would we? WOMAN 1: Something's wrong! -Look! -WOMAN 2: What is that? MAN 1: The wall! WOMAN 3: What's happening? The Wicked Witch isn't powerful enough to get through the wall. OZ: It looks like she's managing. Not by herself, she isn't. What does that mean? Is someone helping her? Everyone, take cover! Run quickly! Take cover! (ALL CLAMOURING) Get the children to safety! Run! Glinda! (PANICKED SCREAMING) (BOTH GRUNTING) -(SCREECHES) -(CROWD SHRIEKS) -(SNARLS) -(SCREAMS) (SNIFFING) There's so much good here. It sickens me. Ah! Still think your Wizard can save you from the likes of me? (GROWLS) Speak up, or I will tear out your tongue! Now, who is that? Don't you recognize me, Wizard? Have I changed so much? Theodora? May I have this dance? Huh? (GASPS) Hey, hey! (GRUNTS) I get it! You're a little upset! -(GRUNTS) -(YELLING) Theodora, stop. You're hurting him. -(GRUNTS) -(SCREAMING) (GRUNTS) (GROANING) Theodora, what happened to you? You happened to me. This isn't you. It's your sister. She's worked her magic on you. I'd hoped you'd be able to see through her. Oh, Glinda, so naive. Just like your father. That's why it was so easy for my sister to kill him. She only killed a man, not what he believed in. Be gone, Witch, before the Wizard makes mush of you! (CROWD AGREEING) Oh. How sweet. You all believe in him. Well, so did I, once. And as for you... my pretty one. When I return with my sister and her army... the Yellow Brick Road will be red with the blood of every Tinker, farmer and Munchkin in your kingdom. You underestimate us, Theodora. We are a strong and united people. And now the Wizard is here to lead us. And as for your Wizard... he will be the first to die. And you will all see that he is nothing but a deceitful... selfish and extremely mortal man. Give me that! It was a broom that you wanted. Wasn't it, Wizard? (CHUCKLING) (CACKLING) (CROWD CLAMOURING) It's all right. It's all right! She's gone now. Don't be frightened. Now that the Wizard is with us... Wizard? 1 Leaving? But you promised to help us. Yeah, well, that was before I knew what we were up against. An army and yet another wicked witch? This one bent on destroying everyone, especially me? We can defeat them. There must be something. Something we haven't thought of. Something that we're not seeing. Something we're just on the verge of. Glinda. You need a real wizard. Better yet, a general. But you're all I have. So, you're not the wizard I was expecting. So, you don't have the powers I thought you'd have. But you're here. There must be a reason. Maybe you're capable of more than you know. Glinda, I wish I had the answer. But I'm just a con man. I'm a carnival magician. I'm just not the man you want me to be. CHINA GIRL: Someone needs to tuck me in. Yes, of course. Allow me. My papa used to do it. I see. Perhaps you'd prefer the Wizard, then? CHINA GIRL: Yes, please. (CLEARS THROAT) All right. In you go. -Here you are. -Uh-uh. Just a moment. Bring forth the covers now. Yes, ma'am. Comfy? All right. Goodnight. Do you grant wishes? Do I what? Grant wishes. The old wizard could grant wishes. Ah. People would travel to the Emerald City and ask him for things. And if they were good and noble wishes, he would grant them. Is that right? Do you know what I'd wish for? Hmm. A pretty dress? To have my family back. I know. I'm sorry. I can't grant wishes. I'm not that kind of wizard. That's what I thought. Um, you see, where I come from... there aren't any real wizards. Although, there is one. Thomas Alva Edison. The Wizard of Menlo Park. A truly great man. Did he grant wishes? No. But he could look into the future and make it real. He created the electric light, the phonograph. He created a camera that could take moving pictures. Pictures that move? Yeah. Can you imagine? And all he had was a little bit of wire and some glass. With almost nothing, he made the impossible real. Is that the kind of wizard you are? (SIGHS) It's the kind of wizard I'd like to be. Well, you are that kind. I can tell. (YAWNING) I'd rather you grant wishes, but that's a good wizard, too. Goodnight, Wizard. Glinda. I've got it. What have you got? I've got a way out of this mess. -What is this? -A battle plan. It's all in there. Illusion, misdirect, sleight of hand. Look. I know I'm not the wizard that you were expecting... but I might just be the wizard that you need. You said you were just a con man. Precisely. Nothing but a trickster? Yes. A terrible cheat? The best there is. The carnival magician's going to put on a show. I'll put on the show of a lifetime. The likes of which the Land of Oz has never seen! Magic, mystery, prestidigitation! It'll be my greatest trick yet. Tinkers, gather around! MASTER TINKER: Quickly, now. This is what you're gonna build. Where I come from, this is called a praxinoscope. Although, I've made a few modifications. It allows you to project an image into space. Impossible. Nothing's impossible if you put your mind to it. -Bully. -TINKERS: Bully! These three roads all lead to the Emerald City. To the east are the deadly poppy fields. We'll have to steer clear of them. OZ: Why is that? One good whiff and it's everlasting sleep. And we're not exactly a terrifying army when we're awake. All right. We'll steer clear. Or maybe not. In the conjuring business, flash is always good. Gives the audience a little "wow". You gentlemen will be combining sulphur rock, nitrate of pot ash... and charcoal to create what is commonly known as black powder. -(FINLEY SCREECHES) -TINKERS: Whoa! GLINDA: Mr. Quimby, we need 200 bales of hay delivered to the main road by noon. Mr. Zim, have the Quadling carts... (SEWING MACHINES WHIRRING) Looks good. (CRACKLING) EVANORA: My very own Winkie Guards... soon you will be facing Glinda and her army of weaklings. And when they see our towering might... they will run and flee for the hills and-- No! We shall not let them flee! We shall show them no mercy! (ALL CHEERING) Now, I've added this adjustable lens to your design along with a few other things. Have a look. (MACHINE WHIRRING) Yes! Edison himself would be proud. (MACHINE POWERING DOWN) Now, there's something else I need you to do. But I'd rather you just keep it between us. Yes? Do you know how to build a hot air balloon? (PLAYING FANFARE) This is all very impressive, but you still haven't told me how you plan... to get this thing into the Emerald City. Relax. I know someone. What do you mean you know someone? Hello, Wizard. Well, well, well. If it isn't old Sourpuss. (SCOFFS) My name is Knuck! Now, you two be nice to each other. -Let's move it, Wizard. -Can you give me a break? I'll break your nose! Guess I'm up. Time to do what I do, right? Cue the con man. Would you stop? A con man couldn't have done all this. You're much more than that. Well, then, it looks like I've got you fooled, too. The only person you've got fooled is yourself. For protection. Not that you need it. Great people of Oz. Today we fight to free the land from the villainy of the Wicked Witches. (CROWD CHEERING) We are few but we are mighty! (CROWD CHEERING) -Quadlings. -(CHEERING) -Tinkers. -Bully! -Munchkins. -(HIGH-PITCHED CHEERING) We face great odds, but we are armed with our courage... our hard work and most of all... our faith in one another. We have nothing to fear as long as we believe. For when we do believe... anything is possible! (CROWD CHEERING WILDLY) Onward! (URGING HORSE) GATEKEEPER: Halt! Good day there, fellow Winkie guardsman. What is your business here? Supplies for battle. We bring supplies for battle. GATEKEEPER: I was told of no such delivery. Where are your papers of transit? KNUCK: Why this delay? Do you not recognize me? I'm Knuck, the City Herald. Sir, I'm just trying to do my-- -What I meant was... -Hmm? Let them pass! Let them pass. EVANORA: What's this? They dare march on us? -Tear them apart! -Fly! (SCREECHING) (LAUGHING EVILLY) (ROARS) It's a trick. MAN: Pull! Retreat! Retreat! Curse you! (CHEERING) Oh, it's not over yet. The fog is lifting! Quadlings, fall back. Into the woods! MAN: Watch out! -(GASPING) -(SNARLING) Ah! (GRUNTING) (GASPING) Away with her. (SNIFFING) -(TWIG CRACKLES) -Oh! -Herald. -Great Wizard. Who's this? Emerald City underground. Unload the carriage. -Yes, sir. To the rear. -MAN: Let's go! Let's go. You two, get the trolley. Everything's ready. All we need now is you. Yeah, come on. I just have to do one thing first. There's no time. Get this carriage in position. -DRIVER: Yes, sir. -Hurry! I told Glinda you would do this. She said I was wrong about you. I guess I wasn't. What are you talking about? I'm talking about that thing the Tinker built. -The balloon. -What balloon? (SIGHS) OZ: That's my cue. All right, you guys. Just remember, stick to the plan. FINLEY: Stick to the plan? The plan was you. We're supposed to stick to you. You guys will do great. So long. KNUCK: Come back! We can't do it alone. Wizard! Wizard, I don't know what to do! (STRUGGLING) (CROWD CLAMOURING) (GRUNTING) EVANORA: Citizens of Emerald City. Witness what happens when you defy me. (CROWD SHOUTING) Glinda did very well for herself today, I'll admit. Leave her alone! Unchain her, you witch! MAN 1: We know the truth. MAN 2: You poisoned the king! Guards! Get them under control. The citizens of Emerald City will not tolerate this! We will not! Silence! (CLAMOURING) Silence! (SIGHS) Ooh... What should I do now? I'd get your sister and fly out of here. Really? While you still can. Well, I think I'm going to do something quite different and I'm going to do it... ooh, very, very slowly, because... I just can't take the sight of that pretty, pretty face. Ooh, I'm going to wipe out your light until there is nothing left but my darkness. I have been waiting for this for a long time. (GLINDA GROANING) (GLINDA CONTINUES GROANING) FINLEY: Oh, no. He said it was going to be his greatest trick yet. Did he tell you the trick was on us? (OZ GRUNTS) How predictable! (GUARDS VOCALISING) (CHINA GIRL GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) I knew that buffoon of yours couldn't be the Wizard. (GROANING) (CLAMOURING) (THEODORA CACKLING) Out of my way! Give up, Glinda. Why do you continue to resist? Because I believe in the Wizard. So did I, once. Behold! Look! Your Wizard! Where is he going? He's abandoning us. How could he? (BREATHING HEAVILY) -(GRUNTS) -No! (GASPING) (CROWD SCREAMING) No! (SOBBING) Aw! Not so great and powerful after all. (HUSHED WHIMPERING) (SNIFFLING) (QUIET SOBBING) Hey. Hello, monkey. Oz! -I thought you were dead. -Shh. You were crying pretty hard. Was that for me? Oh, no. Some of the smoke got in my eyes. Oh. Right. (CHUCKLES) Wow, you fooled everybody. That was your greatest trick yet. That was just the opening act. EVANORA: Let this be the final word. Your prophecy is dead. Like the king who spoke it and the wizard who tried to fulfil it. All dead. It's show time. And they will be joined in death by Glinda the Good. Farewell. Say hello to your daddy for me. (INHALES SHARPLY) (GRUNTING) The dreams of the people live on. (CROWD GASPING) (CROWD SCREAMING) (GASPING) (ROARING) Fear me not, good people of Oz. Fear me not. For it is I... the great and powerful... Wizard of Oz! More tricks? After everything. How dare you defy us! OZ: Dare? How dare you, wicked sisters? -No one defies Oz! -(CROWD CHEERING) Guards. Destroy him. Forward! GUARD: Attack! (CLAMOURING) -(ROARING) -(SCREAMING) (OZ LAUGHING) Guards! Come back here this instant! -(BLOWING TRUMPET) -(LAUGHING) You thought you could kill me? Me? Thanks to you, I have shed my mortal shell and taken my true ethereal form. (QUIET RUMBLING) I'm now more powerful than ever. I'm invincible! Do you still doubt me? Doubt you? I defy you! (YELLS) (CROWD GASPS) (GASPING) (ROARING) Beautifully done, sister. Thank you. FINLEY: Hurry. You're taking too much time. Hold. Hold. They think they're winning. Turn it back on. What? Turn it back on! Oh, we got a loose wire. Oi! -(STAMMERING) Screw's stuck. -Hold on. Use this. -Got it. -Right. (CROWD GASPING) (BREATHLESS GASP) -This can't be. -(OZ LAUGHING) You cannot defeat me. I'm immortal! I am the great and powerful Wizard of Oz! (CHEERING) Now witness and observe... as I unleash the stars! Behold! (INHALES SHARPLY) (WHISTLING) -(EXPLODING) -(BOTH GASP) (CROWD CLAMOURING) So, those are fireworks. -(GASPING) -He is the Wizard. (GASPS) We got Evanora. She's on the run! All right! We got one! -Yeah! -(LAUGHING) Come back here, you coward! Glinda. It's you. And you said that I was the weak one! (WHIMPERS) I may not be able to kill you. -Now. -Okay. But I can kill the one you love. -Higher. -I'm trying. (BREATHING HEAVILY, SCREAMS) (GASPS) (OZ LAUGHING) (YELLS) Ready! Fire! (SHRIEKS) OZ: Be gone, Wicked Witch! Be gone! I hate you. Be gone, forevermore! (CHEERING) The Witch is gone! The Witch is gone! Yes! -Whoo-hoo! -Bully, bully! I knew we could do it. Right. Theodora, I know your wickedness is not your doing... and should you ever again find the goodness within you... you are welcome to return. Never! (CACKLING) GLINDA: Not so fast. You and I aren't finished yet. You have the throne, Glinda. What more could you want? You can't give me that. You took what mattered most to me. My father. I'll never again feel the comfort of his kindness... but I'll settle for the freedom of his people. Of course, Glinda. I think at the very least, they deserve that. (GRUNTS) What's the matter, Glinda? Out of bubbles? I don't need them. Bubbles are just for show. (BOTH STRAINING) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (STRAINED BREATHING) (GROANS) What have you done? (WHIMPERING) (GRUNTING) (SNARLING) (GROWLING) Look what you've done to me! Now everyone will see you as you truly are. (GROANS) In the name of my father... I banish you from the Emerald City, never to return. (SCREECHING) (SCREAMING) (GASPING) (HISSING) GLINDA: Good people of Oz... I have here a missive from the great Wizard himself. "With little more than pluck and belief, we made the impossible happen." "As your Wizard, I hereby decree... "the Land of Oz will forever be free." (ALL CHEERING) (TOLLING) MASTER TINKER: Okay. Close the curtains, please. CHINA GIRL: I'm trying. All right. Let's give it a try. -Is it on? -(FEEDBACK WHINING) Is this thing working? CHINA GIRL: It's wonderful. Well. If it isn't the most beautiful witch in all of Oz. Hi, Glinda. Hello, Wizard. Well done, Tinker. Your machine works beautifully. That's just workmanship. What you displayed was real courage. Your father would have been more than proud. He would have marvelled at the woman you've become. Zim Zallah Bim! Excellent work, everyone. Now we're ready in case anyone... wants to speak with the Wizard. Now, remember, Oscar Diggs died so that the Wizard of Oz could live. When those witches come back, and they will come back... we're going to need everyone to believe. Your secret's safe with us. Good. And now it's time for some gifts. Gifts? -Gifts? -(BLOWS FANFARE) Knuck, not now. What kind of gifts? Well, you know I can't grant wishes, so this will have to do. First, the Master Tinker. To the man who can make anything, my lucky thingamajig. May it assist you in the reconstruction of the Emerald City. I will cherish this forever. Thank you for your faith in me. And now for Sourpuss. My name is Knuck! Sourpuss, I grant you something you are in need of most. Something that, where I come from, can turn the saddest day into a happy one. -I don't want that. -It is yours. -Take it back. -I cannot. CHINA GIRL: Knuck... you look nice with a smile. (MASTER TINKER CHUCKLES) You do look nice. Thank you. Finley, you stood by my side... when any monkey in his right mind would have flown away. To you, I give something that I've never given to anyone. (BLOWS) My friendship. Now you're my partner. You're my friend. That's all I ever really wanted. My turn, my turn. Come here. I'm afraid I can't give you what I know you want most of all. All I can offer you is this. It's us. I know it's not the family that you had in mind. It's perfect. Thank you. I wonder what you're gonna get. Oh, I don't need anything, child. You better have something for Glinda. OZ: But of course. I've saved the best for last. For you... a sight envied by all and seen by none. You'll be astounded by what you find behind the curtain. Oh, my. It's very tight in here. It's nice, isn't it? I know what you're up to, Wizard. What? I'm just giving you a tour. And I want to thank you. For opening my eyes. And what do you see? That I have everything I ever wanted. For the record, I knew you had it in you all along. Greatness? No. Better than that. Goodness. Now, Knuck. (BLOWING FANFARE) (MASTER TINKER CHUCKLES) (GRAND MUSIC PLAYING) www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016 (GRAND WALTZ PLAYING)