www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2014 Yeah, it's under control. $150 million of my dope is on the way. Today's gonna be a good day. We are 25 degrees north, 84 degrees west. The cargo's being dropped. (SPEAK SPANISH) (SPEAKS SPANISH) Good. (Do you wanna see his gun?) (Yeah.) Bang! Bang! (GUNSHOT) Sorry, Johnny! Fucking bitches. Picking up a live one on the water. Coast guard, we're picking up a fast-moving contact. Heading 350 towards South Florida. Captain, Stallion has a contact at 1H0. This is coast guard requesting your intentions at this time. (COMM) "US coast guard." Intercept is 180, speed 17 knots. Make it so. Scramble the helo. (COMM) "Vessel off our port bow, vessel off our port bow." "This is US coast guard. Requesting your intentions at this time." Incoming! "(MONITOR BEEPS)" Valiant, Valiant, Valiant, this is coast guard 6003. Negative contact with target. Over. Captain, we've lost target. Here's your delivery and payment. "Is it done?" "The cargo's on Dixie 7." OK. (WOMEN GIGGLE) Alright, TNT, for the millionth time, listen up. We've gone high-tech over the water so the dope runners have gone low. The biggest shipment's coming in tonight. We wanna know who's behind it. In a few hours, we'll have our answer. We'll hit 'em from three directions. We're going with a water team, vehicle assault and guys on foot. We cannot make a move until our UCs have IDed the drugs and called us in. No call, we back away and these guys we're going after - they got a lot of firepower so eyes open out there. (COMM) "Bravo's on the move." Here comes the drop. Fuck. My lens just flared. I can't see shit. Brothers, gather round! Hey. Why didn't you tell me there was a rally tonight? Who's looking? Take that shit. I'm out of here. White power! (ALL) White power! White power! (ALL) White power! Blue power, motherfuckers! Miami PD! Oh, damn! It's the Negroes. Casper, drop the bags. Alpha leader, bring them in. # Bad boys, bad boys (BOTH) # Whatcha gonna do? # Whatcha gonna do when we come for you? # (SINGS GIBBERISH) Dude, you gotta learn the words. We usually only do the chorus. Alpha leader, hit it. Repeat your transmission. (COMM) "Alpha leader to bravo four, please continue relaying." Where's backup? Alpha leader, bring them in! Hit it. I'm getting static. All I'm getting is static. (LAUGHS) Something funny? Something funny? Mike, where are they? Agh! Gotcha, nigger! Woah! We got us a situation. You ain't gonna shoot. You thinking I ain't gonna splatter your shit all over this swamp? That's what I'm thinking. My partner came here tonight prepared to die. Hell, no! Incinerating trash like you. You ready to die. What the fuck I wanna do that for? Scared? A, put that gun down and tell me who's bringing this shit in and I'll pop one in your shoulder. or B, I'll plant one in your chest. Or C, take the time to talk a minute. You know, de-escalate the situation. That's spiritual bullshit. Me, I prefer shooting motherfuckers. A lot of movement going on. Can't see the UCs. "Something's going down." Don't move yet. Mike, the man has a gun to my head. I bet he'll put it down! Your partner's a cocky nigger. Now was that necessary, sir? See? How come he can't just be a cop? He gotta be a nigger. I'm gonna! Mike, look. Calm down. Calm down? I'm calm! I'm calm! Hey! Woah! Woah! I am way too unstable for that bullshit! Stop all the goddamn movement! We can't let you go but the shit'll get worked out in court. We got our rights! How'd you like to use your right to shut the fuck up? Alright, I'll give you a warning, OK? That's the best I can fucking do for all of you. He's crazy. You have three seconds to put your gun down. He has emotional anger issues. One. He goes to bed early for this shit just to wake up to pop one in a motherfucker! Two! Mike, no! No! Rock and roll! Let's go! Kill them cops! Marcus! Agh! Agh! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (POLICE SHOUT) I didn't do shit. The radios are fucked up. Get some medics over here. You guys OK? Yeah, we're fine. What do you mean? Motherfucker shot me in the ass. Who shot you in the ass? That who would be you. Me? I shot you? Yeah. I mean I was shooting. I did a lot of shooting. But I ain't saying I shot you in the ass. I mean I ain't saying I didn't shoot you but damn! Somebody shot you in the ass! Tell me about it. Yo, man, how's it feel? It's hot, man. I can smell my ass burning. Mike, why don't you just give it a kiss so it feel better? Just pretend we're not even here. Isn't Ricky Martin having a concert? You always gotta go racial, man. It's sad. I think it's cool, man. It hit the meat. It ain't nowhere near the hole. Two bags? What happened to the biggest shipment to every come out of Amsterdam? Let me worry about my snitch, alright? It's a lot of cop work for nothing. Take your ass home somewhere. Tonight la policia jacked my mules. Who in this room can tell me how those jackals knew where to find Johnny Tapia? Speak up. You are lucky they did not find my drugs on Dixie 7. Change the boat schedule. We can't. We got a shipment Thursday. Change it after. Just keep them guessing. You know, unlike you,... ..my daddy didn't leave me no trust fund. Yeah, right. OK? I got real world shit to deal with, Mike. I'm not in it for the thrills. Same old shit, different day. Alright, yes. Damn, I shot you, alright? But you wouldn't be saying nothing if I hadn't so I don't know why you acting so angry. Oh, I'm not angry. You're very angry. No, I'm not angry. You are angry. It's OK. I'm not angry... except when you keep repeating, "You're angry." That's just fucking annoying like a fucking gnat at a barbecue just bugging the fuck out of me. Good. I want you to say, "I'm angry. It's OK." "I'll process my anger. I love myself." "Whoosa." I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Yes, you do. You're the one that needs therapy. I did therapy. When? Captain Howard made me do it after I shot people at the airport. Whoosa! Whoosa! Mmm-hmm. Officer Mike. (SPEAKS SPANISH) That's daddy, right? Yeah. Uh! Whoosa. Mike, you go to therapy to get your issues worked out, not bang your therapist. See, now you just talking nasty. I gotta survive. I gotta start loving me for me. Sound like that group thing talking. OK, maybe I did the group thing once or twice. Whoosa. And. (ALL) Whoosa. A bunch of men hugging and kissing. That's some cult shit. (DANCE MUSIC) Right. He's blowing this out of proportion. My ass is what's out of proportion, Mike, OK? I had a big chunk missing. It's actually a small chunk. This tension ain't gonna be healthy for us in the long run. Maybe there ain't gonna be no long run. Whatever. He's seeing a shrink. (MAKES CRAZY NOISES) "(PHONE RINGS)" "Icepick, Lowrey." Hey, brother. Two bags?! You embarrassed me in front of people! Wait, brother. No, no, no, brother. Wait, wait. You better pray to whoever it is that you pray to cos you got 24 hours to find that X before I find you. (DANCE MUSIC) (PHONE) "Cops hit my mule." I don't know where the heat is coming from. (PHONE) "It's a delicate situation." I'm telling you - Alex, look! The guy's ODing! I'm sorry, I gotta hang up. Some punk thinks he can die in my club! Ecstasy fucks them up. Get him out. We'll dump him around the block. Dump him. (RAP MUSIC) Auntie Syd, it must be so cool to be young, single living in New York. Probably hook up with a lot of cute guys. Just like Sex And The City. Theresa, cancel the cable. So, Auntie Syd, you're a cop too, huh? Sort of. I work for the DEA. You keep pushing paper. I don't have to worry about my little sister fighting crime... ..and possibly getting hurt. James, get my screwdriver. Damn bolts. Ignore him. He's being mean cos he got injured. You OK? His wound is fine. It's, um, other things that were affected. Oh. Oh. Theresa! What? You... It's just nerve damage. That's all. (LAUGHS) Y'all aren't gonna spoil it. I'll talk to you about it. (CAR HORN HONKS) It's a doughnut. It's a medical thing. I got it from a maternity store. Pregnant women use it. It take the pressure of the other cheek. For you. Thoughtful. Look, man, um, you know, last night... It was something different. You know, Mike, I had an epiphany, you know? I realised you're an enigma. Yeah, I can see that. God sent you here to test me but guess what? You're not gonna break me, Mike. No! Whoosa. Is that Syd? That's Syd! Now's not a good time. Hey! Mike, listen. Now's not a good time. Hit me, hit me, hit me. No throwing balls in the house! '(SMASH)' Agh! No! Whoosa! What's up, Theresa? Hey. They didn't tell me it was a luau. (BOTH LAUGH) Hey! Hey! Woah! Hey! Woah, Syd. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Hey, you. What's up, girl? Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Look at you. Look at you. Oh. Oh, OK. I see. You didn't tell Marcus about New York. Um, he knows about New York. About us? You told him about us? No, he knows about New York. You know, it's a nice city and that I dropped a witness off last month. Mmm-hmm. (CHUCKLES) Mike is so sweet. So sweet he make your teeth rot. So have you told him yet? Baby, soon, OK? Real soon. He needs to know you're transferring out. Theresa, timing is everything. Marcus is not happy with me right now. Mike... No, I'm telling you! We need to give that boy a few minutes to let his butt heal up good. We like each other. What's the big deal? I'm just gonna go tell him. Woah, woah, woah. Hold up. Hold up. I'm gonna tell him. It ain't like I'm not gonna tell him. When? I need a minute, alright. This man - We not vibing right now. I just need a minute. He's my brother, OK? Don't be scared. Toughen up, chief. Woah. Hey, I ain't say I was scared. Just... something wrong with your brother. (DOG BARKS) So, Mike, I understand you were in New York last month. Yeah, I was, um... Remember I did the thing? You remember? Oh, the two of you should have gotten together. That would've been nice. Yeah. Oh. I never told you Mike was in New York. Well, you know what, Mike? Syd's gonna be in town another week. Why don't you show her around Miami? That would be so great. Yeah. Yeah, I could... Well, me and, um,... Marcus. You wanna show her some stuff? Yeah, because I'm in town on vacation. I'm staying at the most amazing hotel with a view and a pool. We got a pool right here! That ain't exactly a pool. That's a big-ass puddle in blue plastic. Daddy, didn't they have any good pools? That pool cost $3,900. OK, so how much do the good pools cost? It's alright, honey. It is kind of whack, huh? I gotta go meet somebody. Nice seeing you again, Mike. Nice... Wha... Hey. Good to see you. Where are you going? Bye, sweetie. Bye. I thought you were on vacation. Glad you joined us. Spending time like this make a partnership strong. Mike, can I see you by my stupid pool? What's the deal, baby? Why you gotta always come over here and try to take over, Mike. What? This is my family, man. OK? What are you talking about? A place of peace! Are you taking medication? You're taking medicine for the thing, right? What I do? Forget it. Just forget it. What'd I do? Go fetch. (DOG BARKS) Agh! Agh! Agh! Now that shit is funny! Agh! That's some funny shit! "(CELLPHONE RINGS)" What up? Yo, it's Lowrey. $3,900! $3,900! You better pray to God you're right this time. Yo, dry off! That's Icepick! The Haitians about to do a rip. Let's move. 1 Alright, guys, smarten up. Talk to me. (COMM) "Eyes on, agents. Good luck." This is 105. They're backing in. I got a good look. We got a good eyeball. Alright, we're in. What's up? You come highly recommended out of New York. You did some good jobs for our Russian crew there. How old are you? Old enough. If you wanna move this stuff, you gotta do it quick. Wow. Nice getup. I'd like to see how your machine works. Ooh, that sounded dirty. I'd like to see how your machine works, baby. (MONITOR) "I wouldn't be so crude. I'm a refined kind of human being." You follow ballet? Three of my cousins are dancing with the famous Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow. I like hippy-hop, too. (MONITOR) "I gave you 5,000." "You gave me $4,900." I gave you $5,000. $4,900. $5,000. Count it. If you wanna fuck with me again, find another chump. OK. How much? Three. Look at this. Money everywhere. Clean it up. OK, we want change a little over three million dollars, alright? How many jobs did you do with my friends in New York. Quite a few. How you behave has consequences for a lot of people. You found me. You needed me to change small bills to large ones and make a delivery to a third party. Delivery's late, it's your ass. Ooh! Here's 50,000 in hundreds for your 50,000 in tens. Third party takes his million in these five briefcases here. I hate math. For your three million dollars that we shrunk for you, you get two million in clean money, less our percentage - $300,000. I'll be delivering these to your dealer. Alexei. What? You're giving too fucking much away. (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) Yeah, we'll call the general, renegotiate. He's a businessman, we're businessmen. Yeah, call him. You call him. (COMM) "Agents, we're on the move to the money drop." Forward. Hey, man, the truck's leaving. We're going to follow it. '(SHOUTING)' Don't lose that truck. Follow that truck! (WHISTLES) (HORN BLOWS) (ALL CHATTER) Yup, they're saddling up. Looks like Icepick came through. Wonder who's shit they're about to rip now. Falcon one, do you see her coming around the corner? Stand by. I don't wanna get spotted. A bunch of pirates, man. Steal anything. Black Suburban. Come on, baby. Alberto, she's coming to you. I got her. This is Falcon One, guys. I got her coming up. Heads up. I got an orange muscle car. Looks to be three black male occupants. It's out of our field division. Bring it up. We got three bogeys. Guys, we got three bogeys. They're moving. (COMM) Be aware, guys. They're approaching. Shit! Agh! Agh! Jesus! Fuck, it's a hit! Shit! (BOTH MEN SHOUT) Agent down! Agent down! Agh! Fucking follow them! I'm on it! Shit! Stay here! Son of a bitch! Agh! Agh! Agh! It's Syd! Move! Move! Man, what is your sister into? Sidewalk! Sidewalk! Move! Move! Move! Shit. Shit! I need backup now! Now! Just get ready to shoot. Police! Stop! Stop the car! Not your badge! He has a gun! Shoot him! Agh! Mike, she's in trouble, man. Move! Get out of the way! Agh! Agh! I think I done just got mad. Don't! Don't! Don't! Hold on. Agh! Now show 'em your badge! (POLICE SIRENS BLARE) (GUNSHOTS) (GUNSHOTS) This shit is crazy! Yeah, right. Move! Move! Get the wires out here! Mag! (MEN SHOUT) Agh! Shit! Go! Go! (PEOPLE SCREAM) Get out! You, drive! Move! Go, go, go, Mike! Punch that shit! Punch it! Slow the fucker! Agh! Shit! Move! Move! Don't lose her, Mike! This is what I do! Agh! Shit! Shit! And definitely shoot that motherfucker! My headlight! Shoot back! Shoot back! Shoot! Shoot! Agh! Man, what the...?! What?! What are you doing, man?! That's my bad. Shoot the outside! Pay attention to what you're doing! (SHOUTS) Oh, these dudes is off the chain! Jesus! Fuck! This is sick shit! It's about to get sicker! Watch out! Watch out! Whoa, shit! Oh, they are not about to do that! Yes, they are! Go! Woah! You see that?! They're throwing cars! Truck! Right! I'm just trying to help, OK? Just shut the fuck up and let me drive! Agh! Ough! Come on with the screaming shit! I'm trying to concentrate on dodging these motherfuckers! Just relax! Ough! Agh! Woah! Woah! That motherfucker flipped! That one puckered up my butt hole. Cars! The boat! Ogh! Whoo! I lost 'em. Yeah, I got your cargo to the backup drop point. (POLICE SIRENS BLARE) (POLICE RADIO) "Attention, all units. Suspects still at large." There she is. What the fuck is going on, Syd! Some driving! Get over here! I'm undercover! Please call off your dogs. I've got DEA watching. Don't blow my case. We saved your life. I appreciate that but I don't appreciate you two nearly burning a case that took me five months to set up. Oh, so now we lie. Is that what we do? What do you want me to do?! Marcus - She's wrong! Calm down. Relax. Are there drugs in that truck? Cash. Where's it going? I can't tell you that. Why not? I have a career and if I wanna keep it, I have rules to follow. What? My orders are under no circumstances share information with Miami PD because they got too many leaks. Oh! I'm Miami PD now! You forgot I'm your big brother? That shit you did was reckless, it was stupid and it was dangerous, OK? I'm telling Mommy. OK? I'm definitely leaking that shit. Hey, Marcus. Syd, come on. He got a point. Your brother loves you. Not to mention professional courtesy. If you're bouncing around in somebody's backyard, you should let 'em know about it. First time using your gun? Mmm-hmm. Hey, you handled yourself very well. Too bad your partner didn't notice. Thanks. You've been working on this for five months? How come you ain't tell me? What would you have said? What? I would've let you know this job is rugged, dangerous. If something happened to you, I... That's why I didn't say anything. Somebody stealing your money. The drop's done. I gotta go. Thanks. We gotta close this case before it get her killed. Yeah, no doubt. You ready to go to the station? 1 I think we gonna be alright. Fellas, what's your job description? You two, what is your job description? I'll tell you. TNT. Tactical Narcotics Team! Keyword - Tactical! It's finesse and subtlety in achieving the goal! Tell me, gentlemen, what was subtle about your work today? 22 cars... and a boat... totalled? How did you sink a boat? We didn't sink it... 'Whoosa!' Whoosa! Whoosa! Alright, positive - thank God no cops died. Negative - I got a police commissioner so far up my ass, if he spits, it's coming out of my mouth but... (Whoosa.) I know... ..that there's always two sides to a story. So what's yours? Well, I was at a family barbecue - We got a tip that the Zolpanas were gonna do a hit on cash or drugs from this big-time X man. That's what they call the ecstasy dealer. I know what they call him. That's why I'm captain. It's cool. So you got the drugs? No drugs? Oh, OK. How about the money? No money. Then who is this X man? Captain, I was at a family barbecue - We don't know. But we are going to find out. Well, then all that was for nothing? Oh, we didn't do all of that. If you look close... Hold on. Let me see... There's DEA all over. Wa - Wait, hold up. The... The DEA without consulting me? That's a DEA car right there! Fuck! Fuck! (Cap,... no!) Remember your pressure points. Let me exercise. Holler at your boy. Whoosa. Whoosa. Whoosa. Whoosa. 21,000?! What?! Oh, kiss my black ass. It was the dashboard! Oh. Whoo. Better. You know what? You can get your money. Somebody's on their way with your money. Captain, is it possible we could discuss potential reimbursement - The department doesn't cover personal property. Where do we go? They knew exactly when to hit the drop, where to hit the drop. We figure they know where the cash is. We find the cash, find the X man. I'm through playing games. I have three cops critical. I got kids dying on my streets from souped up X. I do not want these animals taking over my city! Understand? So I want you guys to do whatever it takes but do it now! (SPANISH RAP MUSIC) It's not good, boss. Oh, fuck! My God! Fucking ratonas eating my fucking money! Carlos, this is a stupid fucking problem to have! But it is a problem nonetheless. Rat fuckers. Rat fuckers. Boss, it ended up crazy. This black chica working for the Russians was a goddamn maniac lunatic. She saved your money. Also Roberto saw these two crazy homies chasing and shooting. Old days we'd have had this problem? No. Just fly the drugs in, ship the money out. Now American security's so goddamn tight over the water and the goddamn sky, the rats eat my money before I can get it to Cuba. You see?! (TV) "..fiery crash..." I can't even get my money across town without making the news. Ameil, tell me. Um,... ..should I be worried? No, boss. Shut the fuck up. People is trying to jack my loads here in Miami. I own this fucking town! You see,... this is my town. Poppy, Poppy! Pink. Pink, nina. Pink! Pink! No powder blue. Pink is prettier. But the lady says I look like a model. (SNICKERS) You're lucky... your mother was my mother's cousins. (SPEAKS SPANISH) Besides, models are filthy creatures. You look more like an angel. (GIGGLES) What do you think, Carlos? Of course. What you say? She's fucking beautiful. Hey, talk polite... ..in front of my little bonbon. Or I'm gonna chop your balls off. I'm straight with all your spiritual enlightenment and all that shit, but I need to know if a crackhead rolled up behind me, you gonna cook that fool. No question about it. Shoot him in the leg. That leg shit. Everybody deserves a little dignity. Your crackhead gonna be missing a kneecap. I'm gonna be in a body bag. So sad. What's so sad? Your untreated control issues. It's not your fault. What in the hell is that supposed to mean? Your mama probably refused you her tit when you were a baby, you grew up a malnourished high school softy. Got your gun, tight T-shirt and became an overcompensating tough guy. That is the last time you will ever refer to my mother's titties. I don't even want them up in your head. You know, I said all that, Mike, and all you heard was titties. You can't keep suppressing my spiritual growth. Suppress my mother's titties out of your psychoanalysis. You just remember one thing, my friend, I may not always be here. (RAP MUSIC) What's up, Icepick? Jesus is the way, my brother. Step inside. You just went number one on Mike's shit list. We got two lousy bags. My brothers. Haitian blonde with dreads. Where is he? Blonde dread? Num-um. He's very expensive. You and you have to do something for me. Oh, you trying to get gangster on me like that. Yeah, he went gangster. We should probably... (BOTH MUMBLE) Um, me and my partner, we're on the Miami PD dance team. And we got a routine. We won all the local talent shows. We thinking about going national. You wanna show him some of the routine? Boom, warm it up. Ugh! Ugh! Ooh, don't hurt nothing. Yo! Watch this! Watch this! This is shit right here! Agh! Ooh! It's your birthday. Ooh. It's your birthday. It's your birthday! Agh! Whoo! Whoo! What you doing to my shop?! Watch this. Watch this. Agh! Wait! Whoo! Agh! Agh! Agh! What are you doing?! Oh, gimme some! Agh! You're ruining my shop! Stop! That's it. Do it. I'll bring the house down! No! No! Whoo! Ooh! (BOTH) Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Stop! Stop! He lives in a pink house eight blocks from here on Carl street. Police! Get up! Police! Who dat? Who in my house?! I'm the devil! Who's asking? The devil is not welcome here! You got to call youself the devil in his house? Not in my house! This is all your fault! Yeah, you're in my country, though. Fuck you! I'm gonna kill you! Fuck you! Fuck me?! Fuck you! (SHOUTS) Mike, do you have to be so combative? Fucking skank! You calling me a bitch?! Huh?! Fuck that shit! Do or die, man! A bullet in the head'll really mess up your extensions! '(SHOUTING)' You leave that shit, man? Huh? Do or die! What the fuck? (SHOUTS) Sir, we just wanna talk. You wanna talk?! Well, go ahead. Go ahead. We're not immigration. They can't hear you cos they're still shooting at you! Fucking Haitians in a fucking room with fucking guns! Shit! Got to make it home to my babies. Damn! (LAUGHS) Motherfucker! You killed my brother! Son of a bitch! Shoot them! Fucking shoot them! They shot me! (SHOUTS) Got you. (GASPS) Shit! Motherfuckers! Get out of my house! Get out! (SHOUTS) Motherfuckers! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! I'm gonna kill you, motherfucker! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Come get me, motherfucker! Come on! You don't take me alive! You have three seconds to drop your weapon! I got a present for you! One! Two! I'm going to kill you! Ugh! Agh! Ough! Agh! Fucking don't shoot! Don't shoot! Don't kill me! With the... Bullets and all... Excuse me. You alright, man? (MUMBLES) Apologise. Yeah, apologise to that man. Apologise! Apologise! Hey, listen. I owe you... It's just that you was disrespect... But that don't give me the right though... Excuse me. Whoosa. Whoosa. Whoosa, motherfucker! Agh! He's the one of us that's not pissed off. I don't know nothing. I didn't ask no question yet. I don't know! You lying already? I don't know. How did you know about the drop? I don't know. Stop lying! Do you know anything? I'm being nice about it. Do you know anything? Let's ask some other suspects. Look, man... Let's try it. OK, let's talk to his homies. Hey, look here, man. Can you tell me who was driving the black Suburban? Huh? Oh, he don't know nothing. His brains is under the end table. Oh! Shi... He can't tell us shit, Mike. He's all fucked up. What's your point? Dead suspects can't say shit. Well, it seem like live suspects don't say shit so I'm gonna - I don't know nothing! I don't do no motherfucking surveillance. He do surveillance. He don't let nobody touch his camera. What's on that camera? Shit! Trigger Mike strikes again. PEOPLE CHATTER, DANCE MUSIC PULSATES They've been on the sauce. They've been on the sauce. Your party! They've been on the sauce. Your party! That's Mary's boy, isn't it? Yeah. Maybe you should say something. Maybe you should say something. Nah. I'm crap at that kind of thing, Barry. Yeah, but they're just kids. If we don't say something... (GROANS) Hey, boys? Boys? Why don't you get a lift home tonight? Oh, whatever, mate. I've only had a couple. No, no, no, no. It's too late now. I've spoken to you and I know your mum, so that means our fates are aligned. You get into that car and you get yourself killed or you kill someone else, I become part of it too. How? How? Well, it's like, um, my balls are in your hands. BOYS LAUGH, SNORT BOY: Oh, you want the balls! BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? What? Oh. What? Oh. BOYS LAUGH, DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO (SWITCHES RADIO STATION) (SWITCHES RADIO STATION) YODELLING MUSIC PLAYS I like it. 1 How can I help you? Miami PD. Cops! I love that show. We need to see what's on this video tape. Absolutely. Here we go. Can you tell me about it? Guess not. We'll put this in our floor model. It's got kick-ass base. You guys like hip-hop music? I love hip-hop. Alright, we're gonna set you up on the widescreen ratio. Spanish Palms Mortuary. Why would they be doing surveillance... ..at a funeral home? I don't know. Is that a Cuban flag? That. See the gun? Never knew guards at funeral homes needed to carry them kind of weapons. (TV) "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!" We should turn it off, you know, cos my dad owns the store. She's got a tongue ring. (TV) "Uh! Uh!" Seems like porno - Dude, dude, alright? Yeah. (TV) "Uh! Uh!" OK. OK. My dad's gonna be... I just need to... I think I... (TVS) "Uh! Uh! Ugh!" "Oh, yeah." It's just that my dad's gonna... (TV) "Oh, yeah! Come on! Ugh!" "Uh! Uh!" OK. This is official police business. What the fuck's going on here? My dad is coming! My dad is coming! My dad is coming! What's going on in my store?! Son, how did this porno crap get on my videos in my store?! What the hell is going on in here?! You alright? No, I'm not alright, Mike. Three days of this shit got my nerves all rattled. My ass still hurts... (TVS) "..from what you did to it the other night." Oh, my lord! It got rough. You know, I mean... ..we got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get. Yeah. "When you popped me from behind, I think you damaged some nerves." OK. Now I can't... I can't... Now I can't... Can't what? I can't even get an erection. What's an erection? I tried taking Viagra. Pop one, pop two. Been eating them like Skittles. That poor man is pouring out his heart. And I'm still flaccid. Um, OK. I'm comfortable talking to you... It's got 5.1 Dolby. (TV) "..about what I did to your ass..." but you not getting an erection? That's a real problem for me. I just figured I could talk to you. Yeah, we're partners but... ..we are partners with boundaries. Um, we got a new rule. From now on, you can't say the word flaccid to me. He's a mean fuck. Look here. This is our little boundary box. So we gonna take the word flaccid and put it in there with my mom's titties, your erection problems and we gonna close this box. And we gonna throw this bitch in the ocean. And the only way that you can get to this box is you got to be Jacques Cousteau. We cool? No. Oh, shit! We gotta go. In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows here! You two motherfuckers need Jesus. Cover your ears, babies. Palm Mortuary owned by off-shore holding company which, after 17 layers of bullshit, turns out to be registered to Donna Tapia, mother of Hector Juan Tapia who calls himself Johnny. Johnny Tapia. Shit! Looks like every time the PD goes after him, he sues for wrongful arrest and oh, does he win. Last year, he was awarded nine million dollars and got a dozen officers like you fired. He hasn't run across us. We'd like to hear what's going on in that house. Yeah, use your computer brain and tap the phone. Um, well, it happens to be highly illegal without a judge. We were thinking of something more along the lines of a trade operation. No, no, no. I can't do that. Get you tickets. I need floor seats. You don't need floor seats. Marcus - The man can see the game from the parking lot. I can't work. OK, floor seats. You got it. Lakers. Yes, Lakers. OK, watch me work. (COMPUTER) "(SPEAK SPANISH)" "(SPEAK SPANISH)" "Hello? Is this the pest control?" "Yeah." "We got a fucking problem. You know where I am?" "Yeah." "South Miami." We got it. Got our way in. Illegally? If you gotta put a word to it, it's, like, secret. Y'all gonna kill roaches? Illegal. We gonna go in, plant wires, find out what Tapia's up to. These are your basic household bugs. Dog, this is what we do. Hey, what's the sprays for? The roaches. Roaches? We got rats. Say what? That won't be an issue. We can handle that. We just have to slightly adjust our approach a bit. No! No, no! I don't mess with no rats! Hey, stop it! We're in. Get your head right. I'm a grown-ass man! Get your grown-ass self together and do this! This a beautiful house you got here, sir. Stop looking. They're all over. Woah! What? Calm down! Ogh! Um, those ain't normal rats. What he means is they're obviously a special breed. What breed are they? Big motherfuckers. Taking care of these rats is not gonna be a problem. We need to make sure they're not breeding in other sections. Yeah. We like to work from the outside in. So we gonna leave these - (SMASH!) Excuse me. We'll leave these here and send in a special unit. Yeah. It would be better if we began in the rest of the house. You're not. We won't be able to guarantee our work. Listen. The only thing we can guarantee is that these rats'll keep fucking, giving off offspring until we find the colony. Rats don't have no stinking colony. These are colonial rats. They send out worker rats that are called, um... Marsupials. Marsupials. These drones - they're explorers of the rat world, you know? They just... They just looking for rat pussy. (BOTH LAUGH) You know? Are you fucking with me? Hold on. You called us. We can leave but what you should understand is these rats will hump twice a day. Alright, down there. Kill them and bring me the bill. Um... That's that bullshit. Um... That's that bullshit right there. You see these rats? Plant wires. You're not leaving me. Plant wires. Hey! Gentlemen, Alexei, Josef. Oh, I really like that word, Johnny. Gentlemen. I'm just trying being civil. This is business. We can all relax. Would you like a (SPEAKS SPANISH)? Why not? Of course. And you? Josef? I'm told you are quite a wine connoisseur. I am. Carlos, have Josef pick a good wine from the cellar and Alexei and I will have a cigar. (SPEAKS SPANISH) (SPEAKS SPANISH) Where the fuck you going? Um, it's a pretty bad problem you got here. I'm gonna head down to the truck, get some pellets. Come straight back. No screwing around. (SMASHING) Oh, they're all over! 1 Nice place you got here. It's Mama's and it's a shit hole. Built a fucking million years ago! Expensive shit, alright. I know. My new place, the one I'm building in Cuba, wow! Almost finished. Everything fucking shiny new. Come on upstairs. Oh! Oh, shit! Oh! Oh! Oh, shit! Look at the balls on that motherfucker! Agh! The camera's off in the general's office. Everything is broken. My wire's planted. How about yours? Almost got three wires planted. (Mike!) There's a papa rat humping the shit out of this mama rat. He's driving her! How is that information gonna help me do my job? (They fuck just like us!) Where's the pest guy? There's something going on. Goddamn rats! Yeah, they're everywhere. Just like cockroaches. No disrespect, but... ..I do not wish to talk business until my partner returns. You two decide behind my back you want to pay me less money? Let's wait for Josef. You know, me and digits. Carlos, could you please bring Josef in? Entre. So,... ..your partner is here. Would you like to talk now? Carlos, another box. So you sign over ownership papers for all the Florida clubs you own and I will control everything from point of origin to sale, OK? No middle man, especially Russian middle man. With all due respect, Mr Tapia, in my country, I see such things all the time. I'm sorry for your country. It's gotta be some Cuban tradition to put them in a tortilla bin. Now listen to me, you Russian punk, I, me, Johnny Tapia, will sever your head off. You kill me and you will have a shit storm. Should I screw your young wife or visit your son, the soccer player? My daughter knows your son. You'll regret this. I hope we can remain friends because at the end, what else do we have but friendship, trust, honour? Without this, we are no more than beasts. The kitchen monitor's out. What the hell's going on out there? Shit. I found something. (COMM) "It's a guy's finger." Did the rats eat the rest? What the fuck are you doing? Hey. I was just looking for you. I figured out what your problem is. Y'all a bunch of motherfuckers. Jose - Agh! Pull out! Pull out! What's going on? (COMM) "Get out of the house! Pull out!" Shit! Agh! This shit's got to stop! Agh! Yagh! (SHOUTS) Fuck! Agh! Shit! Go! Hold it! Go! Go! Just another day with Mike Lowrey! (GUNSHOTS) (SMASHING) Hey! No! Come on! Alberto thinks they were the gang bangers sent to hijack the drop. How did this thing happen? I don't know. We called the rat people, these guys showed up. Maybe you're the rat, huh? They tried to steal from me. You let them into my mother's house. Johnny, hey, no. I would never... Nobody puts in danger my daughter,... ..my mother,... or my money. Send him to the mortuary. Johnny! Johnny, what happened to Roberto?! He killed himself, Mama. (SPEAKS SPANISH) Agh! Very sad. Make sure and write a nice letter to his mother. I'll do it. OK, bye. Yo, run the prints. Hey, Mike, stop playing, man! Run the prints. Don't touch me with no fucking dead finger! Excuse me. Run this print. I need to find the owner. Thank you. Think you can find out what's on these shreds? Of course. Listen, we're thinking about ordering a little bit of lunch. We put you down for a bucket and a couple of grape sodas? (ALL LAUGH) (MIMICS) 'A couple of grape sodas.' (ALL LAUGH) That's very funny. Isn't it low tide? I think it is. Don't you have some relatives to pick up? What? Now you crossed the line, man. That's not funny. Look, we planted some wires. We need some help. I want you... ..to find out... ..who those two black (SPEAKS SPANISH) are. And I want them lying right here in Mama's garden in these coffins. And our mystery finger belongs to... Josef Kuninskavich. Oh, man, this dude was a lieutenant in the Russian mob. Owned a couple dozen Florida night clubs. Tapia's starting to knock off Russian mob bosses. Got something. What you got? The computer matches half tones, grey tones, densities. Sort of like a visual code breaking. A little something I put together. The shredded paper you found was a photograph. Some boat. Dixie 7. Dixie 7. It's registered to a one Floyd Poteet. Poteet brothers. One of the KKK guys we busted? You blew his ear off, remember? Can you teach me how to shoot people? Listen to what we got at Tapia's. (TAPE) "(SPEAK SPANISH)" This is the second in command talking, telling him, "Yes, boss, we found a bunch of fat dough fuckers and we're getting them emptied. What the hell does that mean? Wait, he has a meeting this afternoon. (TAPE) "You know who I am?" "Name sounds familiar." "Sense of humour." "Meet me on the sand, two o'clock." She has no idea. Let's roll. Come with us. (SPANISH RAP SONG) I ordered us a couple Bacardi mojitos. (SPEAKS SPANISH) Miami. A little more audio, please. (TV) "So why don't we take a swim, cool off?" Or we could just stay here and get drunk. How about that? Or we could drink this later... ..unless you have a reason why you don't want to get that beautiful body of yours wet. Why don't you just ask me if I'm wearing a wire? I'd rather go swimming. What's he doing? Son of a bitch. Shit. He's taking her to the water. This guy's smart. I want you to work for me, OK? Why are we staying on this unnecessary conversation? What do you need with another banker? For the same reason as your previous employer. But now I own all the Russian clubs. No middle man. You know, I'm about to be the biggest importer and distributor of ecstasy in North America. You're gonna be a very rich young woman. That's why I thought... I know what you thought. As long as you don't think it more than once, I'm happy to be in business with you. Alright. Let's do business. (LAUGHS) # Let me see you take it off # Girl go and take it off # We can even do it slow # We can even do it slow # Take it where you wanna go # Take it where you wanna go # Just take that ass to the floor # What are you? A cop or a model? What you talking about, man? I like looking good. What? For who? Hey, don't hate the player. Hate the game. Hate the tailor. Good job. We'll get him. Your brother'd love to talk to you down the street. What's going on? You trying to blow my case or just insane? You're the one taking the dip with the maniac. How'd you know? We had a wire in the house. You have a warrant for that wire? Fuck that, OK? You don't know the kind of danger that you're in, Syd. I am fully aware and I am fully capable of what I am doing! I'm not your baby sister anymore! For the DEA, you ain't nothing but a honey pot. What? That's why you got the job. You look good in a bathing suit. Alright. Let's sit down somewhere. Look, Syd, there's some shit you need to know. Johnny Tapia is cutting up Russian mob bosses in his mom's kitchen. In the kitchen, Syd. He found a severed finger by the crock pot! You're about to be in the middle of a drug war. Miami PD has arrested this guy 12 times with no convictions. Why don't you hang back and let us bring him down? I need this, OK? I am this close! What's this close? I'm now in charge of money laundering. In a month or two, we'll have enough for a conviction. Marcus and I think we found the key to Tapia's whole operation. Yeah, nothing to say now. Just stuck, right? Time out! Damn! Look, we got this that's gonna put us down with the transport. End of Tapia's operation. Do you want in? Mike, why would you - When? Tonight. Page me. Should I bring my thong? Get your bitch hands off! I'm not your fuck! Mike, we're trying to keep her out of trouble, man, not invite her in. Man, I just figured, you know, if she with us, that's just less trouble she could get into. I'm gonna keep it real with you, too, man. I think she can handle herself. I'm gonna keep it real with you. Don't nobody know my sister the way I do, OK? She doesn't make good choices, Mike. She's not street smart. What kind of choices? Men for one. She's attracted to these dumb, flashy, just muscle-bound dickheads, Mike. You know? Motherfuckers that can't even fucking turn to wipe their ass, Mike. You feel me? Yeah. You know, that's just dumb as a bucket of shrimp. Ha. Yeah, that's just crazy. I mean, you don't think maybe you... ..maybe you didn't get a chance to know them. I'll give the next one a chance. A chance to whup his ass! Whup the shit out of him. You gonna fight him? What I'm gonna do ain't gonna be legal. I might be here with these motherfuckers. What the fuck you looking at? Thank you kindly. Who sprung me? Hey, cousin Floyd! You... Remember me? Agh! Cheese! Y'all look great together. What the fuck are you doing? Just insurance. You'll help us find Dixie 7, let us know what that boat has to do with Johnny Tapia. I ain't no snitch. Oh, you ain't no snitch. Oh, damn! That's a shame. Know what I'll do? I'm gonna send a special 8 x 10 to his KKK buddies back at jail. It's a digital photo too, so we can do whatever we wanna do with it. Ooh. By the time we get done, you'll be in the next Busta Rhymes video on BET. Tuck ass. I got my rights! I'm worried. There's so much shit around in Miami. I can feel it. I can feel it. (SIGHS) We need to put my money in coffins to Cuba faster. Tell the mortuary to speed things up, right? There's a channel marker way out there where they make the drop. Mostly at dawn but there'll be one today though. Syd, you talk to Mama? She's got hives. Oh, and I told Mama about your boyfriend. He ain't invited to Christmas dinner. Change the station. More music, less Marcus. If you open the door, he'll be a black Dr Phil for 40 minutes. Syd, you might not wanna get too flirty with Mike. Your boyfriend might cut off his trigger finger. Maybe Mike's been flirting with me. Did you ever think about that? Ooh. Num-um. Num-um. Trigger Mike? Not like this. Don't play with the boy. Seriously. Just tell him about New York. Tell me what? Oh, shit. Is he walking down the steps? Oh, shit. He coming down. Nu-uh. (Tell him.) Oh, yeah, you're fucked up. You're fucked up. Um, you remember, um,... how I went to New York? You remember? And I said, "Syd!" I ran into... Syd ran into me... ..in New York on the street in that place and I said,... "What's up?" And we was hungry. So then... ..she had fish. It was grouper. Then I had some chicken. Remember when I was supposed to come home... ..but I didn't? We went out on a date. Five, actually. Now we're seeing each other. Hold up. You know, out of respect for you, Marcus, nothing happened. Hey, Mike, why are you trippin', man? We wanted to make sure you was cool with it. Doesn't matter what I think. Hey, I had to find out like this, right? Don't matter. Let me ask you a question. Were you gonna have babies? Mini Mikes? Bunch of little lying motherfuckers. Marcus, nothing happened! I just wanna say Mama's gonna be thrilled. You need to go and whoosa or something for a second. Here comes the Dixie 7! Whoosa. Just leave it alone. Why you acting like that? Hey, go about your business. No, we gonna talk. No way! I'm trying to talk to you. Mike! Get the fuck off me, Mike! What the hell is your problem, man?! This is a dysfunctional partnership. That's why I'm acting like this! There ain't no trust! I was waiting for the right time to tell you! But that ain't what your issue is. What is your problem with this? You know what? You're a dog, man. That's it. There it is. I said it. OK. You're like a pit bull with that little pink thing hanging out. Oh, it's like that. Oh, OK. I'm not good enough for your sister. That's enough. The boat's coming. OK, we gonna handle that shit. Go ahead, man. In about an hour, the drop boat's gonna come. We got 'em. Wonder what mortuary that coffin's going to. 1 Keep going straight by. You seeing what I'm seeing? Get the load to the mortuary and don't screw up. I got it. Load up! They're getting away! Stop! Stop! We need your car. Get out. Can you not get a better car than that? Let that man go! Don't be coming at me with that tone, Mike! Freak! Your car gonna fuck up the ozone. That's what I'm talking about. Stop! Get - Yeah. Police. Pop the trunk, get out. Get in. Get out! Get out! Get your ass in. OK. I am in the middle of a sale. Do I have to pull my gun? Oh, shit. Dan Marino. What's up? Back up. Hey! Whatever you need, officers. Hey, it's Dan Marino! Hey! Back up. Let me know how it rides. Oh, he'll test-drive this. Go. I don't wanna blow my cover. Got 'em! Got 'em! Right there! Mike, why you gotta get so close? I won't let that coffin get away. They're all around. Shit, those are the gang bangers. They don't know us. Boss, we got a problem. We're being followed. This is a big problem, Carlos. I'll take care of it, OK? You kill those black bitches, alright?! Shit. I think they made us. OK, we're splitting up. Everybody go now! Here we go. A goddamn car chase! Woah! Have you lost your mind? Mike, I see you got your mind set on doing dumb shit so slap me out. (TRAIN HORN HONKS) I seen this in a movie once! They didn't make it! Mike! Agh! Shit! (RAILROAD CROSSING DINGS) Truck! Truck! I got it. Woah! I got it. Mike! I'm fine, I'm fine. Shit! Woah! Woah! Woah, Mike! Woah! Right there! Oh, Mike! Did you see that shit? No shit! Yo, Dan Marino should definitely buy this car. But not this one cos I'm gonna fuck this one up. Right there! Just missed that. Woah! Whoo! I almost fucked up! Wagh! Shit! This is not necessary! Agh! Oh, shit! Dead man on the hood! Get it off! I'm trying to get it off! Ough! Ough! Agh! That shit is nasty! Get it off! That shit is nasty! Off! That is nasty! Undercover police! Move! Undercover police! Move! Move! Ough! Coming around the corner now! Get ready! They're coming! Move! Up top! Agh! Shit! (ALL SCREAM) Agh! Shit! Boy, if this was my car, I'd be pissed! (GUNSHOTS) (PEOPLE SCREAM) Get down! (GUNSHOTS) Gonna break the world record for gunfights in a week! This is not the time! I can't work with you blaming shit on me! This is not your fault? No! Huh? No! Bullshit! Everything's your fault! Let's go! (PEOPLE SCREAM) Clear! Clear! I'm going around! Mike, got 'em! They got the coffin! Ugh! Ugh! Move! Move! Move! Move! Get down! Police! Move! Move! Police, move! (PEOPLE SCREAM) Police! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Move! (PEOPLE SCREAM) Open this door! Police! Woah! Mike! Mike! (PEOPLE SCREAM) That boy bit me! Mike! Agh! Agh! Ugh! Agh! Move! Move! (PEOPLE SCREAM) Police! Move! Ugh! Ugh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Police! Move! He under there? We lost the coffin and you barbecued our only lead, man. This has got to be the worst, most emotional cop week of my life. Yeah, it has been a little rough. (SIRENS BLARE) Where were these bodies going? I don't know. It's strange. All the John Does we found are empty. Empty Does. Fat Does. They cut them open, took the organs out, sewed them back up. Nice work. The more you fuck up, the more we look like rock stars. The van is a transport for the city morgue. These were being delivered to the university for medical research. Nice going. I can't believe you! Do you wake up in the morning, call each other up? Good morning, Marcus. Good morning, Mike. How you doin'? A'right. So how are we gonna fuck up the captain's life today? Gee, I don't know. I don't know. Ooh, look over there. Let's kill three fat people and leave them on the street. Hey. They were dead before we ran over them. It doesn't matter whether they were dead or not! Every time you leave a corpse on the street, I have to get these forensic coroner guys to come in. Then I gotta get detectives, see, detecting shit! Then I gotta get these forensic guys to stick 'em back in the bag! Jesus Christ! You guys! You're like... You're like a bunch of blood-sucking ticks draining the life's blood out of this department! Whoosa. Damn the whoosa. Did you call me a tick? I was referring to him. Captain, these are not normal corpses. If I threw you... ..out of a truck and ran over your head, you wouldn't be normal either. All of these bodies have been emptied out. I'm a drug smuggler that owns a mortuary and I got bodies hanging around with plenty of room in them. I could smuggle some shit. Johnny Tapia has the perfect cover. Woah. Johnny Tapia? Yes, and I wanna warrant to go into his mortuary. No! For what?! For a bunch of dead guys on their way to med research? No! Every time we go after him, he sues us and wins. This stops now or they'll fire us and stick me in a fucking coffin! This is over now! What happened to 'whatever it takes'? That was pre-vehicular manslaughter. Not to mention Johnny Tapia. What the fuck is that? '(BANGING)' Shit! '(BANGING / SHOUTING)' Agh! Shut up. Agh! Shut up. Augh! Shut up! This man has violated my rights! What is that? 'He is a violator.' Running people over's not enough? Now you're into kidnapping? That man's a criminal. We busted him - I have so much brass up my ass I could be playing the Star Spangled Banner. I ain't cut out for this, man. Come on. I can't do this with you now. I'm re-evaluating what's important. About what? Being a cop? No, about you being my partner. Is this about Syd? God! Marcus, man - That was messed up but that ain't what this is about. Once we nail Tapia, you and me, we're over. I already signed my transfer papers. Megan, what's the name of this boy taking you to the movies? Reggie. And Daddy, please don't embarrass me and ask him questions. Everybody knows you're a cop and it makes people nervous. Why nervous? He on crack? '(DOORBELL RINGS)' Oh. It's cool? Yeah. Yeah, come in. Got a sneak-and-peek. Judge Sinclare said we can go into the mortuary tonight. We can't touch nothing but if we find something, he'll give us a warrant. You love pissing Captain Howard off. It's what I do. So when did you start playing golf? Hey, so you real serious about this transfer thing, huh? I mean you been quitting for ten years. I just always thought it was how you dealt with this shit. It's what's best for me and my family. Look, I'm gonna get my stuff, man. Umm. "We ride together, we die together." "Bad Boys for life." '(DOORBELL RINGS)' We getting old. One of them young punks coming to take my baby out. Who the fuck are you? Hi, Mr Burnett. I'm Reggie. What you doing here? I came to take out Megan. What? I came to take out Megan. How old are you? I'm 15. Motherfucker, you look 30. Show me some ID. I don't have none on me. You don't have no ID? Get your ass up against that wall! You think you know it all. Young thunder cats! You got joints? No. You smoke that? No, sir. You trying to get my daughter high? Who that at the door? It's Reggie. Who the fuck is Reggie? He came to take Megan out. What you want? I'm here to take his daughter out. What's your name? Reggie. I heard the motherfucker say your name, Reggie. You taking Megan out? Yes. How old is you? 15. Shit, you at least 30. This is Mike. You fight? Yeah. You can fight? Mmm-hmm. Oh, yeah? You can't fight. Look at you. Mike - Somebody gonna take my niece out, I wanna know if the nigger can fight. OK. If he can't fight, she can't go. This is Megan's godfather. He just got out of the joint. Why are you - They call him - I just got out of jail and I ain't going back! I ain't going back! What's wrong with you? Nothing. You acting scared. You ain't never seen a gun? Stop. Look. Don't you disrespect me. Let the gun go off. Nigger, you a big, old, tall, Ludacris-looking motherfucker. You rap? No. Move. Hey. Get out of the way. If I see you on the highway, get the fuck out of my way. Hey, Mike! Now listen. Have my daughter home at 10:01. If she ain't home at 10:01, I'm in the car, OK? Locked, loaded and hunting your ass down. Do you hear me? I'm going with him! Don't fuck up! If I'm there, it's gonna be Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. That's what. Marcus! Reggie, please forgive Megan's dad and his silly friend. You a virgin? Yes. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight. You guys have a good time. Ever made love to a man? No. You want to? No, sir. Hey, have a good time, baby. Go. Alright. Go! That was cool. So you ready to bust this case open? Oh, yeah. Let's finish strong. 1 Alright, ladies, we cannot take a burn tonight or Tapia walks. (COMM) "I need a good, clean break-in. Eyeball." Eyeball set. Dex, high ground. Rooftop set. Fanuti, light your crack pipe. Gotcha. Lockman, you buzzin'? We're up, baby. (DOORBELL BUZZES) Hello?! Anybody home?! We got a special delivery! What's going on here? We got a stiff to deliver. Nobody told me about any stiff. No, he's in the van. No deliveries. They told us to come right over to the place. We gotta bring him in. You're not. Get that body to the morgue? Morgue? You said get it to the Spanish Palms Mortuary. (COMM) "No!" What are you smoking? Who are you calling Aladdin?! (Shit! There's burnt people down here, Mike!) Oh, fuck. (DISH CLATTERS) Oh, damn! Somebody's teeth! We'll need you to sign paperwork because the man is very contagious. This contagiousness could touch you. You have a nice evening. Won't you let us inside for some hot cocoa? Cam one, I got a good signal. Cam two, I got a good signal. Augh! Ough! (Hey!) (Damn!) (Stop it! Do not do that tonight!) (You don't smell that?) (Yeah.) (It stinks.) (Stop!) (I'm gonna have some Pepto.) This dude hasn't been embalmed yet. What the hell are you talking about? They stick a tube down your throat and they suck out all the gunk. Your body'll get gaseous and you'll decompose - Mike, I really don't need to know that right now. They gotta get all of that out cos a lot of times dead people fart. That'll clear a funeral home out! How do you know all that? The Learning Channel, man. (Ough! Shit!) (Ough! Agh!) (Ough! You're not even gonna warm up to it?) (Hey, do some cop work!) (He's a human being!) (Check the casket!) Check his spine while you're in there! Retching! Ough! (GURGLES) (Mike!) (What?) (Have some dignity!) (I ain't doing nothin'!) (Cover her titties up!) (What - What am I gonna do with these big-ass dead titties?!) (But you're looking.) (There's something wrong with your brain!) (Cover the titties.) (Goddamn!) Damn! This nicer than some cribs! She's going to Cuba. (LAUGHS) Who's top cop now, huh? That's what I'm talking about. See? There you go. Yeah. That's it. Take a picture of the money and check this body. No, I'm gonna count these. (Check the body!) I'm gonna check the body. I'm not rushing into it. It's going to a mortuary in LA. I'm gonna check this one. Ough! Ugh! That's that bullshit. Mike, the motherfucking head fell off! (Come here!) No. I'm... I'm back in the game. Whoo. Whoo. I think I got something. Feels like a bag. Shit, no, it's his kidney. Ough! (VOMITS) I smell dead people. Drugs and money. We got 'em, baby. This dude is loaded. Bet he thinks he's a damn genius transporting 'em in dead bodies, huh? Let's get the body. Mike, you got company. (Somebody's coming. Hide!) (Gimme the X! Gimme the X!) (You gotta stall them!) (ALARM BLARES) (Hide! Hide! Hide!) (Shit!) Kids do this? Go check it out. (Hide!) (Oh!) Marcus, why would you...? That's just not smart, man. You tell Theresa, I kill you. The bimbo's next. Oh, God. Not the bimbo. Let's hurry this shit up. (Oh, no!) Shit! We got a big problem. Drive that ambulance into the building now! (COMM) "Crash that ambulance into the building!" No, not me, baby. I got too many crashes on my file. You do it. No. I got red-flagged by administration last month. No way, man. I can't have another ding on my file. Mike, we wanna help you out here, you know, but we got a couple of administration problems over here so how about we give you a little sirens and some flashing lights. Negative! Crash that ambulance into the building right now! We wanna help the team out and everything." "But I'm not getting suspended for this." I plan on whuppin' your asses the second I get out. Crash that ambulance into the building now! That's the price of cop business. Put it on the table. (SIREN WAILS) Whoa. Oh, my God. What the hell! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's tragic, man. Go, go, go. Back route's clear. (Get up, Marcus.) The gas got stuck. I didn't mean to. Oh, man. Supple leather, you know. You ever rub your leather? You know, like just rub it, see how good it feels? What does love mean to you, Mike? Don't worry about me and my love. Look, I got plenty of love in my life. Like a woman's butt. Don't do that. Whoa, whoa. Why don't you just concentrate on getting this warrant? I'll say this right now. I want you to know, if this is our last job, I really appreciate you, OK? No, that's not gay shit, this is man shit. Know what I mean? You're a beautiful man, you know? When you let the beautiful side... What? Look at your pupils. How am I gonna look at my pupils? What are you taking? Did you take some of that X? Hey, look, gimme a hug. Listen. Listen! We need this warrant. Do not fuck this up. Pull yourself together. (BARKS) Evening, Captain. (SLURS) Hello, Captione. How do you two plan to fuck up my evening tonight? Well, Captain, believe me, we would not be here if it weren't seriously, utterly important. Get in here. Get off! Aaargh! Ho ho ho! Wow. This is beautiful. It has such a warm feel, you know? Sort of like a ven shwow! What's it, Mike? Remember it was - Why don't you have a seat? Ven wang or - Feng shui? Von sway. You have a von sway home. Make yourself at home. Er, Captain, you said Johnny Tapia was hands off - God, no. We got him, it's a rap. We messed up today but we got him. Please just look. How do I move it? Flip through the pictures. Take... You can flip through pictures. Oh. This is horrible. (Mike.) (Take the picture.) Take a look really close. We got everything we need to take this dude. Oh, God. Oh. They're taking the organs out. Captain, right here, you can... Yeah, if you look there... Oh, gosh. Oh. Oh, what do we have here? Good. (SNIFFS) Mm-mm. Look at this. Hmm-mmm. Everybody just needs to relax. Whoosa, whoosa, whoosa. What are you doing? It's 2am. Get your hands off. Oh. Oh. Remember we said we were gonna... call Vargas and Reyes? No, I don't... Call Vargas! Tell him the thing we said to tell him. What thing? Tell him what we said about yesterday. Tell him about the thing. Captain, listen. we've also got video tape. Yesterday we fucked up bad but we got him now. The... Aw, shit! What? A lot of times with these... Aw, shit! What? No, we got video, we got fucking... Let me see. There you go. Aw, shit. He's shipping the drugs in dead bodies. We found coffins of cash tagged for Cuba. And Tapia's about to move with all this money? Well, I love it when you call me bunny. Shit! Yeah, I do, girl. You see this sexy shit I got on. Who the hell are you talking to? I talked to Vargas and,... er, Reyes. They said that they're down for whatever. This is a nice fish, you know. Big fucking eyes but a nice fucking fish. We need this warrant, Captain. Let's take this scumbag down. What the fuck is going on? He... He ingested ecstasy. You OK? Take it easy. OK. Poison lady says we gotta keep him cold. Otherwise he burn up, he'll get brain damage. Nobody'll even notice. Oh. Mike, I got an erection. Holy! Take me home. Hey. Call the wife, tell her I'm on the way. 1 Hope you guys hear me. We got her, loud and clear. She's in. Show time. Mortuary, alpha team. Tapia's mansion, delta. Dixie boy, bravo. Coastguard, gunships. Anything that hits the water. We hit all three places simultaneously. Tack up at 08:45, we go hot at 09:00. Sharp. Bring the noise. You're such a beautiful girl. Thank you. Johnny? Yeah? Is she a negro? Mama, shut up! Get out of here. You make your bed, you sleep in it. (SHOUTING) You take risks. I like that. Or... ..maybe I can warrant taking a risk on you. Huh? Yeah. Excuse me, boss, we need to talk now. Something's going on outside. Cops. I thought we were cops. Goddamn it. Whoa, DEA, you guys aren't going in there, are you? We have a warrant. I got someone inside. She gotta come out. Two minutes. Call her on the cell. Yes, sir. Cut the power. Got her? No, sir. Let's go! Got a bogey in front of the house. God. This is for you, Josef, and me and mother Russia. They're not gang-banger homies, they're cops. Cops?! They weren't trying to hit the load. I think they were looking after her. (GASPS) Now you tell me. "Where is the wire?" They made her. We gotta get her out, we gotta get her out! Heads up! Your fucking mother! The Russian grim reaper is here. Everything's in here. Oh, shit. Has anything left here in the past two hours? "A funeral just left. Trailed them to Miami harbour." Tapia's running his money to Cuba. Get a chopper. Tapia! You scared of me, you little scumbag? We got some heat. Pull the car back. I kill you. Hey, who the hell are you? Drop the weapon! Drop the weapon. I'm with you guys! Drop the weapon. I'm over here! Shut up. I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch. This is Alpha. Heads up to the coastguard, sharks and bravo team. Lock down the harbour. Freeze any speedboat. "This is Bravo." "We got a boat, high rate of speed." Stop that boat. "He's moving it." "Off the bridge." Coastguard, we're going in. "Miami Police, shut it down!" "This is the police, shut it down. Cerrar el abajo." "Cerrar el abajo." He's got a weapon on board. Pull up. Coastguard, take him down. Burn him. "Vessel is dead in the water." This is what we do. Oh, man, it's full up. Full up. A righteous bust. Daaaaa! (LAUGHS) How the hell they slip away? Give me the watch commander on the horn. Do you know her brother in Miami PD? Yeah. Find him. Do you know anyone who might want to save your life? Hmm? (PHONE RINGS) Hello? Marcus, it's... You have one hundred million dollars of mine. I want it back in 48 hours. Shit just got real. Snell, DEA. Agent Eames, FBI, who has just informed me that satellite has pinpointed Tapia's jet in Cuban airspace, 20 minutes ago. Cuban? United States does not negotiate with any hostage takers, especially Cuban hostage takers. It's a... delicate situation. This is not just a situation, it's my sister. Off the record, our agencies are using their back-channel contacts for a diplomatic solution. You know, by the time y'all finish being diplomatic, my sister could be in a fucking box. This is bullshit. He ain't getting away from us that easy. We ride together,... ..we die together. Bad boys for life. We just gotta do it ourselves, man. Don't know you. Look like you're about to do something stupid. I'm in. Dodd tell you how fucking crazy us ex-Delta guys are? My brother lives in Cuba. He's crazy but hooked up with the underground. Weapons, a safe house, whatever we need. You can forget about passports. If the Cubans catch us, we're all dead. Tito's in Alpha 66. The Anti-Castro underground. What does that have to do with Tapia? Tapia's the biggest supplier of drug cash to Castro so Alpha 66 are all over him. No, that is perfect. He can get men on the tunnel right away. Let me at him. Tito, we need layout, security, the whole deal. We got info that Tapia's got a casket coming tomorrow at 4pm. Yeah, that might be our way in. Yeah. I brought you a little care package from my friends over at the CIA. They wanna help and don't ask me. They're spies. Former Delta, Intel and Demo, requesting permission to tag along. ("RADIO CHATTER") Ronnie, I hear there's a boat on fire off the coast of Cuba. Don't you think we oughta break international waters to help? Yeah. Point of no return. I want to thank y'all from the bottom of my heart. Mike, look - Mm-mm. You tell me when we get back. Target in sight. I see the boat. Roger. Target 12 o'clock, 300 yards. Opening the doors. Stand by. Go, go, go. Tito? Welcome to Cuba. Vamos. 1 What's up with the safe house right across the street from Tapia's crib? This is the last place anyone would look. We have been watching the place. The guards play soccer daily at 3:30. The bad news? Everyone around knows he uses the army like bodyguards. This is Tapia's compound. CIA hooked us up, huh? Yeah. This light and laser technology even shows his escape tunnel. Alarm security is wired to the army. We are screwed if we don't blow up this security room first. The tunnel we are digging branches off. One into his back yard and the other into his escape tunnel. We gotta hurry up. See, I told you my brother was a maniac. How'd we look? Let me check it out. (BOTH SPEAK SPANISH) (SHOUTING IN SPANISH) Papa, you look like Jesus. (LAUGHS) Why they call this the last supper? It was the last time they were all together before Jesus was crucified. Crucified? Cover your ears. Hey, you. Listen to me. This is fucking depressing! I mean, who had this fucking idea? I just want little angels looking down on me. Here's the ocean, 300 yards from Tapia's house. We're here, safe house. First tunnel comes through to here. Team takes out the security station. Second tunnel comes into the centre of the house. Tito, your contacts inside say Syd's in the last bedroom on the second floor. Lupe is one of us. If she says your sister's there, she is there. Three sharp the bag of cats and iguanas go over the fence. That'll make the motion detectors so crazy, security'll shut 'em off. My guys will watch for any military. If they come, that's bad. Let's make this count, guys. (SPEAKS SPANISH) We're in. (ALARM SOUNDS) Goddamn it, it's the fifth time today. Carlos, turn off the motion sensors till we get it fixed. Papa. Can I keep them? No. Alright, guys, sensors are down. Time to move. We are 100% go. Let's go. Left, left. There we go. This is not as easy as it looks. OK, we're at the T. Split right. Good luck, guys. Find the soccer game, sniff it out, baby, sniff it out. Left. Oh, shit. Oh, you did not see me. We're ready to bust into the escape tunnel. Here we go. Soccer. Whoa! Oh. Sorry. (SCREAMING) (SHOUTS IN SPANISH) Go. Get the American bitch. Get me the general. Tell him I need him now! Sorry, darling. Take her out to safety. Come on. Carlos, this is not good! I know. Where is the general? He's coming. You fucking Americans! I'll blow your head off! What's happened to this gun? My son is gonna slice you into chorizo. Mama, I'm sorry. You little... You in? We got mama and the girl. We're entering the house. Go. Move, move, move! Everything's clear outside. You got 30 seconds max. Haul ass. Be advised, you've got two rovers on the balcony. I can't get a shot off. I missed him, I missed him! Get down! Get down! Get down! Move! Move! Move! Marcus. Come on. We got the package. You gotta move, it's turning into a real bad day. Coming back. Cover us. We got your cover here. Somebody talk to me. What's going on, guys? Military is everywhere. This is bad. Guys, we have a lot of company. "Get out of there now!" Aaaargh! I'm hit, I'm hit. Head for the tunnel. I'm gonna blow this. Get out! Mike, please, man, you gotta get out. Vargas, get out, get out. Abort! We're not going in the tunnel. We're going to plan B! Plan B! What plan B? You don't pay attention to shit! (BOTH ARGUE) Are you fucking shitting me? Go! You follow me! Follow me! Plan B? What the hell is plan B? Tito. What you doing here? You need Cuban guys. This way! They're not gonna make it. Pull out of here! Pull out of here! Keys, keys, keys. Oh, my God, no! Oh, my God! Plan B did not have a big-ass gun in it! Plan B?! What does B stand for? Bullshit?! Do you wanna drive? Pull over by the machine gun! Shit! Whoo! Yeah! I am not to be fucked with. I missed the part where you drive through the house. Out the front door. Get in the truck. Cuban army was everywhere. Gotta get us to Guantanamo Bay. No. You can't drive onto a US naval base. We're Americans. Hey, Marcus, you know when we usually get in situations, you know I'm always trying to make you feel better? Yeah, yeah. I could say it but it'd be a bunch of bullshit today. Military! Which way? No, right, go right. Aaaargh! They make the cocaine here. Bet they got a lot of shit likely to blow. Oh. Faster! I'm gonna kill you motherfucker! We're gonna go for it. This is a big ass... Oh! (ALL SCREAM) Oh, shit. Is this still called plan B? No, this is definitely plan C. Alright, everybody start shooting at somebody. Shoot! Shoot! Shit, I'm out. I got two rounds left. One in the chamber. I'm out. Has nobody got bullets?! I got one. In my hip. Oh, God, he's hit. There. US soil, baby, US soil. (CAR HORN BEEPS) Go, go. Americans on the way, Americans on the way! Run it, run it! Go. Go, go, go. Mike! (INAUDIBLE) We're Americans! I pay my motherfucking taxes! Shoot them! Fucking gringo, drop the gun. Put it down! Put it down! They can't help you. You're staying in Cuba. (SHOUTING IN SPANISH) You are in a live mine field! Do not move. Look, why don't we all go home, well, we'll go home, you go to a hotel, work this shit out another day cos none of us is having a good day now. Give me the gun. OK, I'm gonna toss it right at your feet. Right next to the mine. Now, that's how you supposed to shoot! From now on, that's how you shoot! Whoo! I want my next partner to shoot like that. It takes a dysfunctional motherfucker to bust somebody in the head. That's some dysfunctional shit. My next partner gonna invite me to his barbecues. Come here, girl. I came all the way to Cuba for this. Come on. You gotta do that around land mines? Would you tell them that shit is dangerous around these land mines?! (RAP MUSIC) You know, Mike, this ain't easy for me but I was wrong. I'd be very proud for you to date my sister. Thanks, man. You know, me and Syd thought about it and your behaviour was so... crazy, whatever magic we could have captured, it's best if we didn't... You're gonna take advantage of my sister? Already breaking her heart? What the hell you talking about? She not good enough for you? Syd! Mike said you ain't shit! Why would you scream out nonsense like that? I don't appreciate you coming over, disrespecting me in my new pool. I bought your new pool. Why don't you hook this pool up to your Ferrari and drag this motherfucker out of here. I was joking. Second, all this right here, smell yourself right now. This is what is wrong with you. I got the transfer papers in the trash. I'll go glue 'em the fuck up. Glue 'em up. What? Want some glue? We won't be partners. I got glue in the car. It's a hot day, I'm cooking, and I gotta hear shit outta you? On top of that shit, you gonna dog my baby sister? Ah, this is bullshit. Aaargh! # What you gonna do?... Dad! (LAUGHTER) I kept the warranty, I kept the warranty! (BOTH) # Bad boys, bad boys # What you gonna do? # What you gonna do when we come for you? (MUMBLES) # Bad boys, bad... (BOTH MUMBLE) # Yeah... Come on, man, you gotta learn the words. Mike, you don't know the damn words either. (BOTH) Bad boys, bad boys... # What you gonna do? # What you gonna do when they come for you? # Bad boys, bad boys # What you gonna do?