(P.A. SYSTEM BEEPS) MAN ON P.A.: This is your captain speaking. Flight time to Nice will be 7 hours 30 minutes. Our flight attendants will be coming by to provide you with complimentary beverages. WOMAN: Excuse me. We'll be flying at an altitude of 31,000 feet. WOMAN: Hello! Relax and enjoy your flight. Excuse me. Hey there! (RATTLING NOISE) Mom. Do you mind? Emergency exit's 13D, sweetie. Great. Got it. Thanks, Dad. Excuse me. Bonjour. Three chardonnays, please. No, nothing for me. I always remain alert in flight. Me neither. Thank you. Just the three, then. I am so proud of you, sweetie. A lot of women who just got dumped would have backed out of this vacation, but not you. Thanks, Dad, but I didn't get dumped. It wasn't quite like that... It was mutual. Yes. They agreed to part ways when he dumped her. I thought it was because he needed space. No, he just didn't find her spontaneous enough. Too safe. Predictable. I am sitting right here. I can hear you. He tried to get you to go bungee-jump but you wouldn't do it. I have a thing about heights and a rule about vomiting in public. I think that's perfectly reasonable. Too many rules, dear. There's nothing wrong with being cautious, sweetie, safety is sexy. The first time your mother and I made love, we managed to keep our seatbelts on the entire time. It wasn't easy... OK, Dad. What did I just say about vomiting in public? Change seats. And the emergency exit is...? 13D. Trust me, I know where it is. About to throw myself out of it. (SIGHS) (INTRIGUING MUSIC) www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2014 I've got a visual on him now. Target confirmed. I know the drill. (CHATTER) Trois minute. (CAMERA CLICKS REPEATEDLY) MAN: You have until 5pm to deliver the package, then the boss wants you to close the account. Yeah, yeah. I will have his final bill ready to go. You have my wife and I on the second floor and my daughter on the third when I specifically booked adjacent rooms. I assure you your room is lovely, Mr... Lovely and adjacent are not the same thing. She's a single woman all alone. Oh. Recently single. I am not always alone. Dad, the room is fine. Can you drop it? Do you know how many push-in robberies happen in hotels, sweetie? Third floor. We'd like an ocean view. Always the same thing with the rooms. Let Daddy do his thing. The little Frenchman will cave. He's a weasel face like you-know-who. Richard. I'm talking about Richard. I know, Mother. We're not discussing him anymore, remember? Right. Right. He's dead to us. Yes. So it never bothered you that he had kind of a womanly butt? What? No, he did not! Forget I said anything. (RECEPTIONIST SPEAKS FRENCH) I do not speak French. Excuse me. We have resolved the problem. I'm gonna go check on my room. You and Daddy figure this out. You want Maalox for the road? Wouldn't it be easier just to humour me? (CRUNCHES TABLET) (LIFT PINGS) Bonjour. Bonjour. Descente? Mm-hm. (SPEAKS FRENCH) Mmm. (CRUNCHES TABLET) (BOTH CHUCKLE) (CRUNCHES) (SPEAKS FRENCH) Mmm... (LAUGHS) (LIFT PINGS) S'il vous plait. Ah! (SPEAKS FRENCH) (LAUGHS) (SPEAKS FRENCH) I don't speak French. Ahh. Je ne parle Francais... Yeah, no, no, I got it the first time. Oh. Why were you pretending back there? I don't know, why did you follow me? I was already going to the beach. Remember? Yeah, well, I could be going swimming too. Are you? No. (GIGGLES) I'm just going to go marinate in shame. I'm Spencer, by the way. It's nice to meet you, Spencer. Do you have a name? Jen. Jennifer. Sometimes Jenny. No, it's...Jen. It's just Jen. I'm gonna go, uh...swimming before it gets dark. Yes, of course. Muscles like that take some upkeep. (BOTH LAUGH) Do you wanna get a drink with me tonight? Yeah. Yeah, sure. I don't have anything better to do, so why not? Great. I'll see you at Stella Maurice at sunset. Unless you have something better to do. Unless you have something better to do. (CHUCKLES) OK. Ah, no. No cute dress. I didn't pack a single cute dress? Oh, God. Oh, thank God I have all my socks. Gotta find a dress. JEN: Thank you. MAN: Yes, Madame. We knocked on your door several times. I can't believe you're missing this. I know, Dad. I'm sorry. It's just... You know, my stomach. It's going crazy. We'll come back right away with saltines and ginger ale. We'll come back right away with saltines and ginger ale. No! Stay put. I'm fine. Don't be a hero, sweetie. Dad, trust me, you don't want to be a part of this. Oh... Wait, I... Darling, at least you'll look thin on the beach. Are you sure you'll be alright? Yes. You and Mom go. Have fun without me. Hey. (GRUNTS) You're going to find the perfect guy. Someone who is good and decent and kind, who doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body. Ugh! Arggh! (SOFT CHATTER) Oh, God! You picked the perfect table. (LAUGHS) (MAN SPEAKS FRENCH) Please. I had to atone for being late, so... Ooh. Too bad I hate champagne. Really? Oh, I'm sorry. Please, no... Really? Oh, I'm sorry. Please, no... I was joking. It was a joke. That was a joke. (ROBOTICALLY) I am a dating robot sent here to observe your ways. (GIGGLES) You just pulled a robot voice. Oh, no. (CHUCKLES) Alright, don't worry. There's a certain segment of the population that goes over big for that sort of thing. Yeah. Nerds. They're my bread and butter. Yeah? How's that working out for you? Oh, God! Shit. Oh... JEN'S MOTHER: Hmm, this is lovely. How about you? I don't know. What are we...? Are you alright? All I wanted was a big tail. OK. Hi. Are you on the lam? You see that guy over by the menus, freakishly tall, excellent moustache? OK. Mmm, no. I do need to sit down somewhere. That is a gorgeous moustache. Well, he, um... He's a Russian diplomat. Also kind of a pervert. Sat next to him on the plane. Got a little grabby. Sat next to him on the plane. Got a little grabby. Really? Wait, wait, wait, wait... Women don't like grabby? That's... I'm gonna have to change my whole MO. (LAUGHS) I also heard him in the hotel trying to get the room next to mine. It was just kind of weird. I hope you switched rooms. It was just kind of weird. I hope you switched rooms. Oh, no, no. No, I like to live on the edge. Dangerous weirdos, spicy food... bungee-jumping. I mean, I'll give you dangerous weirdos and spicy foods but...bungee-jumping? I mean, it's almost never sexy to puke in public. I mean, it's almost never sexy to puke in public. That's what I said. Really? Yeah. I mean, it's really nice down here and all, but... Mmm. ..my bet is that they're gone, so... Shall we? Sure. OK. (CLEARS THROAT) So...should we order? You know what? Let's get out of here. The service is awful and... I need to show you Nice. You realise I'm gonna make you tell me your whole life story. You realise I'm gonna make you tell me your whole life story. Trust me, it's boring. (FRENCH POP MUSIC) Do you want some of mine? Oh, no. No. Actually, I really don't drink that much. I should...slow down. (GIGGLES) What do you do? Me? Consulting. I'm a consultant. For a company. Company consulting. Lately we've been doing a lot of downsizing. I travel a lot, so... Downsizing. People. Oh. Well, if you could do anything, you know, anything in the world, what would you do? I just think it'd be nice to put down some roots. I've actually always wanted to know my neighbours. I've never had that before. That's actually pretty beautiful. You're pretty beautiful. (LAUGHS) It's the dress. I... It's not the dress. You'd be beautiful without the dress. Not that I'm visualising you naked. Although I'm sure you would look beauti... I'm saying that you would...be beautiful clothed...differently as well. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Yeah, thank you. I do need another. Why don't I get you another? OK. Don't leave. Alright. Stay put! (GRUNTS) OK, fine. I will dance with you. I'm sorry. What? You almost ripped out of your dress to try to seduce me. It worked. No, no. Come, we dance. OK, maybe just for a minute. Wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow! You are a very...enthusiastic dancer. (CHUCKLES) Oh. Oh, this... Oh, God. Ah, this is very nice but I should really get back to my date. Now I blow your mind. Don't move. Oh, NOW you're gonna blow my mind? OK. Oh, God. Oh... Excuse me. I'm going to cut in here. Back off, Yankee. Go find your own prostitute. Oh, no. No, you're misunderstanding. I'm sorry, I am not a... Ugh! Arggh! Does this dress say 'prostitute'? No. (BOTH LAUGH) It's not, really. It's...it's...it's maybe... Wait, Just Jen. Yes? Just Jen. Yes. There's something that I've been wanting to do all night. (GASPS) Your tag was still on. Oh, no! I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. Oh, God. It's OK. It's OK. No. It's... I...I can't afford this dress. I left the tag on because I can't afford it. Not unless my father buys it for me, which...he wouldn't 'cause... he's not here. It's OK. It's fine. Oh, God. Are you OK? No. I can't breathe. This is so tight! Oh, God, you know what, I'm sorry, I can't keep this up. I am not this girl. I am not spontaneous. I never drink this much. And I don't live on the edge, I live a very quiet, normal life. I would like a normal life. I'd kill for a normal life. Well, just...it gets...it gets worse. Just...you know that guy at the restaurant with the moustache? Oh, the restaurant pervert. That's my dad. (LAUGHS) Wow. Yeah. Sounds like a really bad home situation. No, no. Oh, God! No. He's not Russian or a pervert. He's a pilot. You know, he flies planes. I came on vacation with my parents. That's...how lame I am. I was supposed to come here with my geek boyfriend but he dumped me for this girl and then... Sorry. Go ahead. I can't breathe. This dress is really, really tight. OK. I need to get out of it. Seriously, I've been sucking it in all night. You gotta get it off. Just take it off. Really? Yeah, take it off. OK. Alright. Yeah, let's do this. Ah, it's...um... The zipper's stuck. Just break it. It's fine. My father WILL pay for it. Break it? Yeah, break it. Here, just...turn around. Just...stay...still. (CLICK) (GASPS) Hold still. Oh, my God. (GASPS) (FABRIC RIPS) I, uh... Here. Thanks. I'll be... I'm gonna be over here. OK. I'll be... I'm gonna be over here. OK. Doing this. In this manner. (CHUCKLES) Thank you for...being so honest. I actually feel like I should share something with you. It's gonna be really hard to say it, but...I feel like... You're real, so... ..I want to be real with you. Haven't really told anybody this before, but... I kill people. Wow. You're taking this a lot better than I expected. Awesome. I mean, usually it's bad people. It's not like I'm out killing good guys. I'm not a murderer. I'm a professional. I professionally... ..kill people. You're a great listener. Excellent...listener. I don't like what I do. I'm not a fan of it. But I like you. Tomorrow, I'm going to show you Nice. And hopefully that's just the beginning. 'Cause I like you. SONG: # I'm running out of ways to make you see # I want you to stay here beside me # So just tell me today and take my hand # Please take my hand # Please take my hand # Just say yes # Just say there's nothing holding you back # It's not a test nor a trick of the mind # Only love... # (MUSIC CONTINUES) (CHATTER) (LAUGHS) That was really heart-felt. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Maybe a marzipan and marshmallow? Here, I'm sorry, I've ruined it now. (OMINOUS MUSIC) Oh, my God. This is really good. You should take a bite. Go ahead and try it. I'm not going to eat it all. I might eat it all, you know, if you don't eat some of it. Mmm. (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) Good lord, French food. Mmm. Mmm. Try that... I'm going to, uh...I'm just going to go to the rest room. I'm going to, uh...I'm just going to go to the rest room. OK. MAN: It's a crush, Spence. It happens. Go shoot some guns and screw some models, you'll be good as new. Then what? Kill some more people? Then what? Kill some more people? They're enemies of the state. Not people. Are you sure about that? 'Cause five years ago Leveneaux worked for us and then the NSA and then God knows who else. But this week he's the enemy. What the hell's wrong with you? You go screw Pollyanna for a week and suddenly your life's work's out the window? She's normal. And I feel normal when I'm with her. And maybe I... Wake up. Her world only exists because of people like us. And I'm sorry if people change sides. Sometimes a friend becomes an enemy and you have to take them out. She trusts me. And I'm not willing to compromise that. You know, these jobs are not optional, Spencer. You don't get to just walk away. Watch me. You are who you are, Spencer. You can't change that. 1 I think the best part is you're finally with someone who's genuinely attractive. I know. I know. I keep thinking I'm going to build up some kind of tolerance to his...physical, God-like perfection. But it just hasn't happened yet. Hmm? Oh, no. I'm OK. It's a little early, Mom. (LAUGHS) 'Early'. (LAUGHS) Do you think they're alright out there? Oh, as long as Daddy doesn't shoot him, we're good. Mmm. (DISTANT GUNSHOT) (FIRES RIFLE) So, I hear you're jobless. Corporate consulting's a tough business, sir. Jen and I were talking about putting some roots down. I might open up my own firm here. Look at my shoes. They're Edward Green. I picked them up 20 years ago when I was still flying the London route. If you have something of great quality and you take good care of it, you'll have it forever. (CLAY PIGEON RELEASES) (FIRES RIFLE) I know you're worried about Jen. Why would I worry? I am confident... (CLAY PIGEON RELEASES) (FIRES RIFLE) ..that you'll never hurt her. That's a nice shot. Thank you. I was an Eagle Scout. They really let you shoot stuff in the Boy Scouts? So do the Marines. Ahh. Semper Fi. That was yours. I'm sor... I thought you were... Be prepared, Spencer. You would have learned that in the Boy Scouts. I was in 4-H. You know, Jen's not some fragile china doll. She's funny and she's sweet and she's smart but in this kind of an off-kilter way, where one minute she could be talking about the strategic value of Nice in World War II and the next she's telling me that Cary Grant dropped acid. (CHUCKLES) Which I... (STUTTERS) Look, my point is it doesn't matter what she says, I can trust her. I depend on HER, sir, it's not the other way around. So... ..with your blessing... ..I'm going to marry her. Welcome to the family, Spencer. Thank you, Mr Kornfeldt. Please, call me 'sir'. (CLAY PIGEON RELEASES) JEN: How big is it? Oh, it's big. It's probably the biggest on the block. Well, have I ever seen anything like it before? Well, have I ever seen anything like it before? Uh...maybe in a magazine. Or in your dreams. (GIGGLES) Will I know what to do with it? Will I know what to do with it? Ah, I'll help you navigate the tricky parts. Oh, God. Greedy. Greedy. It's this blindfold. It's making me... Oww! Honey. Oops, sorry. Sorry. I didn't...I... Mmm. (GIGGLES) Prepare to be... Ohh! ..thrilled. Hmm? Oh, my God. Spence, you remodelled my office. It's so organised. OK, you can kiss me now. How did I get so lucky? How did I get a guy like you? It was easy. It was your charm... (LAUGHS) ..and your wit. You really should not be spoiling me especially...since... it's your birthday weekend. Come on, no, we talked about this. We're not making a big deal out of it this year. No presents, no parties. It's just dinner tomorrow night with my parents, I promise. But I never agreed to no presents. Come on. I have been keeping this secret for a week. I'm at my limit. You kill me. (CHUCKLES) Open-dated tickets to Nice. I thought we could go back to where it began, you know? And the best part is we can go anytime. But because I rule, I got two weeks off at the end of the month. What? Do you not want to go to Nice? Of course I do. I... It's... Things are hectic at work right now and we have a lot going on here. Plus, the peach parade is at the end of the month and you were going to make your cobbler. (SCOFFS) My cobbler sucks. You know what made Nice great? You. I have everything that I need right here. Hmm. (GIGGLES) SONG: # Poor old Grandad, I laughed at all his words # I thought he was a bitter man # He spoke of women's ways # They trap you, then they use you before... # SPENCER: Hey, batter-batter-batter-batter. Hey, batter-batter-batter. ('OOH LA LA' BY THE FACES CONTINUES) Let's go! Pick up the pace. WOMAN: Hey, Spence! Can you come to our party? Thank you. OK. Oh, hey, Spencer! Hi! Hey! It's Lily and Mac. Hey! Hey, I'm glad we caught you. BOTH: Block party. Alright. Are you coming? Yeah. And you guys can dress up. Perfect. LILY: OK. Here, you know what? Here's another one. MAC: Yeah. We're going to have those wings. Great. That's got some of my spit on it. Don't clone me. (ALL LAUGH) OK, we're going to go make love. You have fun. OK. MAC: Take care. Have you good one. Block party! See you there! Have you good one. Block party! See you there! Block party! # Makes you wonder where you are # If you want some more and she's fast asleep... # (MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) # There's nothing I can say # You'll have to learn just like me # And that's the hardest way # Ooh la la... # MAN: Pass, please? Thank you, Mrs Aimes. Our new Norton Internet Security Suite has SONAR behaviour-based protection that defends against any unknown online threats. So be sure to flag that feature for undecided clients. OK, people. You heard her. We're rolling this out immediately, so, uh...let's hop to it, hmm? Ah, Jen. Polished and concise as always. Thank you. Don't change a word when you go to San Francisco. You want me to speak at the conference? You want me to speak at the conference? No, I want you to dominate it! (CHUCKLES) OK. Alright. You fly out tomorrow. Oh, but, Mr Nootbar, tomorrow's, um... Well, it's such short notice. There's no-one else you can send? The conference isn't till Monday. Just take the weekend to prep. You'll be fine. OK. JEN: Of course I didn't say that it was Spencer's birthday. Because it is extremely unprofessional to turn down a business trip to babysit your husband, birthday or not. And that's why I didn't mention it. Can you take him out tonight or not? (SIGHS) Hello? Dad? If I have to. Love you, sweetie. I love you too. 'Bye. (HANGS UP) WOMAN: No, no. It's too low. Can you lift the back one up an inch? Right... No. Right there. Vivian... Perfect. Can you come in tomorrow? I'm sor... Mildred's having trouble with the billing again. Saturday, Mildred and bills, a trifecta. I'm sorry. Thank you. Fine. What do you think about this thing? (SIGHS) Well, Henry says it's a statement piece. Yeah, but is it stating that we like ugly shit hanging from our ceiling? Yeah, but is it stating that we like ugly shit hanging from our ceiling? Yep. Yep, what? Yes, you turned our conference room into Bambi's nightmare. Yeah, I know. Hey, listen, do me a favour. Grab some flooring samples for Olivia, alright? Something durable that cleans up easy. In case we decide to have sex on the floor. Of course. You're worried she'll vomit. Ohh. I like her even more when she's mean to me. You're going to give me a lawsuit. Probably. She gets aggravated, though, you know, when I flirt with other women. That's what it is. You do realise that only happens in pornos? You do realise that only happens in pornos? Yeah! The good pornos. I'm gonna give her a shot soon as I'm done letting Olivia do dirty things to me. That's gonna take a while. Olivia's a bigger slut than you are. Hey, are we gonna pretend to play basketball tonight or what? Hey, are we gonna pretend to play basketball tonight or what? No-can-do. I've got dinner with Jen. (SIGHS) I think I just saw your balls roll by. Yeah? You wanna catch them for me? Yeah? You wanna catch them for me? (STAMPS FOOT) Ah! Just crushed it. Just crushed one of your balls right there. Just crushed one of your balls right there. Thanks, buddy. We'll see. Call me 'ball crusher' from now on. (LIFT DOOR PINGS) So...how'd it go? Too good. Nootbar is sending me to San Francisco. No, no. Not the presentation, Spencer's gift. What did he say about the trip? He wants to stay home and eat cobbler. No vacation sex? No French getaway? (CHUCKLES) No. Who in their right mind turns down a vacation like that? Well, you know Spence, he's kind of a homebody. Well, you know Spence, he's kind of a homebody. OK. OK. OK. How long have you two been married? What, like, three years? Yeah. OK. That's your problem. I have a problem? Everyone always talks about the seven-year itch but no-one mentions the three-year snooze. People get complacent, get relaxed. But you have to be vigilant, OK? Otherwise you're growing out your leg hair and your down-there hair, and you're wearing your fat jeans and a pair of Spanx, OK? And the next thing you know, he runs off with a reality TV star named Shawnda, OK? And that's my personal experience, but I'm telling you you better watch out because Shawnda speaks six languages and one of those languages is sex. Are you going to eat that? Getting hungz ` super hungz ` over here. (RINGING TONE) WOMAN: Peach Plaza Motel. Ah, yes. I'm trying to reach a guest named... Sir? Yes, um, uh... The guest name, Annabell Hensler. Just a moment. (RINGING TONE) MAN: Well, it took you long enough. We need to meet. That's not going to happen, Annabell. You know, I get that you love being this soft suburban zombie. But like I told you three years ago in Nice, you can't just walk away from this game. I've got a job for you, kiddo. I'm out. You're going to have to find somebody else to clean up your mess. My mess?! If you don't do this job, it'll be your mess. I'm in room 114. I'll be waiting for you. Just do what I'm telling you. MAN: Spencer. MAN ON PHONE: Spencer. Hey! Spencer... (HANGS UP) Did you just hang up on someone? No. Jen's tied up at work, so I'm supposed to do something nice for your birthday, so here I am. I'm going to feed you. Oh, boy. That's great. Really, I can grab something real... Really, I can grab something real... Are you saying you'd rather eat alone? No. Of course not. I... Let's break some bread. Who's H? My old boss. Just asked me if I want my old job back. He sent you hugs and kisses. Yup. It's a French thing. You know, always kissing. Fruits. I can't take you to dinner dressed like a street urchin, so...we'll stop by your house and pick up adult apparel. I'll leave my car here. I will meet you out front. Mmm. BOTH LAUGH I am the master of the way. I am the master of the way. ALL CHATTER, LAUGH Hey! Over here, mate. (LAUGHS) Hey! Over here, mate. (LAUGHS) Thank you so much. See ya! Hey, thanks for driving tonight. Hey, thanks for driving tonight. You owe me. Hey, thanks for driving tonight. You owe me. (LAUGHS) Fair enough. Kate was giving me the eye as well. What?! What?! She was. No. No. BOTH LAUGH What's that? What's that? Oh crap. Don't worry about it. You're well under. Don't worry about it. You're well under. Yeah, but it's a lower limit now. Good evening. Any alcohol tonight? Good evening. Any alcohol tonight? Uh, just a couple... with dinner. Good evening. Any alcohol tonight? Uh, just a couple... with dinner. Yeah. She's fine, eh. Stop. That's over 250 micrograms. I now require you to accompany me to the booze bus... Oh stink. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say... It's a failed result, ma'am. ...may be given in evidence in court. You could ring a taxi and pick your car up in the morning. Let's call your mum and dad. They're, like, 10 minutes away. Let's call your mum and dad. They're, like, 10 minutes away. We're not calling my parents. CHILDREN ARGUE CHILDREN ARGUE Please. Behave yourselves. No. In the car. INDISTINCT RT CHATTER 1 What's with you? You're like a chained rhesus monkey at the wheel. Just excited about the two of us grabbing dinner. You and Mrs K still thinking about going on that cruise? You and Mrs K still thinking about going on that cruise? Yes. Where are you going to go? Where are you going to go? I really think that's up to the captain, Spencer. What's with you kids? Jen shouldn't be coming home to a dark house - it's not safe. I couldn't agree with you more, sir. Did I leave my keys in the truck? I am not telepathic, Spencer. Maybe I'm just... This is not Candy Land. Unlocked trucks get stolen, which is why CAREFUL men use the garage. Thank you, sir. The keys are in the ignition. (STARTS ENGINE) ALL: Surprise! (LAUGHS) MAN: Yeah! Yeah. SPENCER: You got me good. Oh, man. (SULTRILY) Happy birthday. I told you I wouldn't throw you a party... I told you I wouldn't throw you a party... ON my birthday. Right. That's very cute. Not what you were expecting, right? No. OK. Alright. You know what, I'm going to run upstairs and change really quick. OK, we'll be here waiting when you come back. Surprise! (LAUGHS) Good job, Daddy! WOMAN: Good evening. Peach Plaza Motel. Yes, can you connect me with Annabell Hensler, please? Yes, can you connect me with Annabell Hensler, please? One moment. No answer, sir. Would you like to leave a message? No answer, sir. Would you like to leave a message? No. No. No message. (HANGS UP) (POP MUSIC PLAYS) I've got a lot of work going on, so I don't know if I'll make it... We should hang out more. We should. Yeah. We should. I'm going to the bathroom real quick. I'm going to the bathroom real quick. Yeah. I'll join you. Mama. Oh, sweetheart! Oh, dear, I was just telling Jen how you were coming over tomorrow. We can't let you spend your birthday alone. I've got the block party. So, yeah. Mmm. We could come with you. Yeah! Yeah? Yeah? Perfect. Yeah? Great. HENRY: Where's the beer? I'm coming, you lush! Henry might be staying the night. Uh-huh. I'm telling you, smoke on the water, this chick was electrified. Pow! Snap! Pop! Whoo! (LAUGHS) OK. I need to get a fill-up. Uh-huh. You got something there you think I might like? I'll see you guys in a minute. Or something you might like. It's your party. You get to have whatever you want. Uh... Mm-hm. Wine? Having fun? I like wine. I'll go open it. I'll be here with a birthday kiss when you get back. I just hope it was a good surprise. He seems kind of distracted. Well, he wasn't expecting a house full of people. Cut him some slack. Maybe Kristen's right about the three-year thing. You'd tell me, right? You wouldn't sugar-coat it. 'Cause with things like that, it's better to know. I mean, my legs aren't hairy but I have been in my fat jeans for the last two weeks which may be why he'd rather stay home and make cobbler than go on vacation with me. Oh, my God, I'm really freaking out. Oh, my God, I'm really freaking out. What's going on with you guys? You got her all freaked out at lunch. Are you still having sex with Spencer, yes or no? Yeah, all the time. Then your marriage is fine. Guys, can we please play charades now? Come on. (OTHERS CHEER) Yes, yes, yes, yes. Are you sure you're alright? Yeah, yeah, I'm OK. Alright. Thanks. OK. Maybe... Watch the step. Oww! ..walk home. He really shouldn't be driving. He really shouldn't be driving. Nah, he's fine. Oh... Ahh. No, no. Babe, I got it. No, honey. No. I got it. I'll put the house to bed. You go and start packing. Babe, it's your birthday. I got it. Are you sure? Yeah. (SNORES) OK. Just do the bare minimum. I'll get the rest in the morning. I love you. Thanks, sweetheart. I love you. Where are your pants? (SNORES) Is something wrong? Huh? No, of course not. Are you sure? I mean... Is everything OK between us? You're kidding, right? Come here. Come here. Is this the spot? (BOTH GRUNT) Maybe I could skip the Kornfeldt packing method just this once. Your flight's early. You should keep packing. (SIGHS) (SNORES) (FARTS) Oh, I should have just told Nootbar I'd go tomorrow. I feel terrible missing your birthday. No worries. I've got another one next year. No worries. I've got another one next year. (CHUCKLES) Well, hold on. Hold on. You need your birthday kiss. OK. We don't want the neighbours to get jealous. Throwing a little porno in the driveway. Don't want you to be late for the airport. Better get you going. OK. You'll miss your flight. There we go. Oh. Hey, Jen! Jen! Hey! Jen... Hey, Jackie. You're up early for a party animal. Oh, yeah. I'm just running off to the airport. I'm just running off to the airport. My Dougie says it's a good thing we're such sound sleepers because lots of other people might have an issue with all that noise. Mmm. (LAUGHS) Anywho, Dougie wants to talk to Spence about this whole 'fence on the property line' brouhaha we're having. We don't want to bring lawyers into it any more than you do, right? But we're quite sure our new fence is not on your land. You know, you understand? Oh, yeah. Perfectly, of course. But you understand you're gonna have to take it up with Spence, right? OK? Thanks, Jackie. Oh. I'm sorry, I'm in a big rush. OK. See you soon. Oh, right. OK, you're late. Hey, did you guys have fun last night? Oh, yeah, it was great. Of course, I'm paying for it this morning. (LAUGHS) You're still taking Spence out tonight, though, right? Yes, for the hundredth time. Good. OK, did Daddy promise to be nice to him? Mmm...not in so many words. (SIGHS) Just get yourself on the plane. Let us take care of Spence, OK? OK, well, I'll call you when I get to San Francisco. Love you. Love you too, dear. 'Bye. Mmm. WOMAN: We'll call her ` maybe she wants to go to the park. GIRL: OK. Sounds good? Yeah. It'll be fun. (MESSAGE ALERT CHIME) Oop. Who is that? You or me? (GRUNTS) That's me. That's you. (PHONE JINGLE PLAYS) Here you go. You got any milk? Yeah. Everything alright? Yeah. Ah...what do I got? I've got skim milk and I've got some low-fat yoghurt. You know what you can do? Mix the two together... (LAUGHS) What the hell are you doing, man? You should have seen your face. God. You almost crapped your pants. Yeah, it's really funny. (BOTH GRUNT) Ugh! Come on. What are you doing?! Killing you, buddy. (SHOUTS) Arggh! Ugh! Where are you going, Spence, huh? You got a gun upstairs or something? Arrgh! Ugh! Surprise! I'm back. Spence? (CRASH) (SCREAMS) What are you doing?! Spencer, stop it! Stop! You're hurting him! I need you to get me something. Stop! Upstairs, in the bedside table... Arrgh! ..there's a Glock .45. A glot?! It's a gun! Just go get it! Why do you have a gun?! Just get it! Oh, my God! Ohh! Ugh! Arrgh! Ohh! OK. SPENCER: Jen! I'm coming, I'm coming. SPENCER: Jen! I'm coming, I'm coming. OK, I need you to hurry. OK. OK, I'm here. OK, stay right there. Good job, honey. Now I need you to point the gun at him. And shoot him in the face. What?! Don't do it! He's gone crazy! It's a psychotic break! Don't do it! Don't do it! He's gone crazy! It's a psychotic break! Don't do it! Just shoot him. Please. OK. OK. God... (SQUEALS) Oww! Bitch shot me! Ugh! Ohh! (GASPS) What are you, crazy?! You said to shoot him in the face! I didn't think you were really going to shoot. I was telling you as a divers... Then you should've winked or crossed your fingers or something! Baby, I was a little busy trying not to die. Oh, God, I shot him. It's alright. He's knocked out. He's not dead. I need you to go to the basement... What? ..and get the duct tape. The duct tape? There's duct tape downstairs. Go downstairs and get the duct tape. I can't move. Come on, baby. I can't move. It's OK. It's OK. It's OK. It's OK. He's going to be OK. Maybe. 1 Spence... ..what is happening? (MESSAGE ALERT CHIME) I'm about to find out. Arrgh! Wake up. Oww! You're hurting him. Yeah. I think he'll be alright. Sorry I'm bleeding on your chair. You just had it reupholstered, right? Yeah. You were under contract. Contract for what? The business? Somebody hired him to kill me. Oh, my God! I thought we were friends. Really? 'Cause you never seemed that invested. Oww! I covered for you. With every client that we have. I talked a half a dozen hussy girls out of slashing your tyres. I even drove you to the free clinic when your balls were swollen and you had that fungal thing! No. No, no, no. Hmm? Hmm? I helped you bury Sir Barksalot. I helped you bury Sir Barksalot. Hey, he was a good dog, alright? Leave him out of this. He couldn't fetch for shit. Arrgh... Spencer... Yeah? By the end of the day, you're going to be just as dead as he is. You got a $20 million bounty on your head. Oh, God. Are you going to faint? Unless I puke first. Breathe. It's OK. How is this OK? I'll explain. Just not right now. I'll explain. Just not right now. No, you explain now. I want you to explain right now! (KNOCK AT DOOR) JACKIE: Jen? Spence? (SIGHS) Shh. Hello? Yeah, that's it. Be very quiet. Maybe the other assassins will go away. Maybe the other assassins will go away. JACKIE: Yoo-hoo! HENRY: They could be any of your neighbours. JACKIE: Come out, come out wherever you are! What? You didn't think I'd have some competition? $20 million buys a lot of patience. JACKIE: Helloooo! I can see your car. Spencer, it's just Jackie Vallero. I know you're in there. She just wants to talk about the property line or something. She just wants to talk about the property line or something. Or kill you. (JACKIE KNOCKS AT DOOR) Hello, you two. Hello! I'm here about the fence. What do we do? Go. JACKIE: I can hear you... Now. To the garage. What about him? Oh! No, no! Spencer, stop. If I don't, he'll come after us. He's our friend. He's a liar. (GUNSHOTS) (SCREAMS) Oh, my God. Down, down. (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) (SCREAMS) (TENSE MUSIC) Oh, God. Ahh! (GUNSHOT) Put your seatbelt on. I am, I am. (TYRES SCREECH) Ahh! Jen! Jen! What's going on? Is she holding a gun? I can't tell. Jen, everything alright? (JEN SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) Good morning. (CHUCKLES) Slow down! Stop the car right there. I'm getting out right now! Calm down. I have a right to freak out. I don't even know who the hell you are! It's me. I just have a different resume. It's me. I just have a different resume. Who do you work for? Is it the mob? I can't tell you. If I tell you, they could kill you too. I can't tell you. If I tell you, they could kill you too. Oh, my... Let's just say that I work for the blah, blah, blah and they gave me a licence to blah. (SIGHS) I need air. I need air right now. Uh-huh. Honey, honey... Oh, my God. ..it was never my primary directive. Are we even married? Yes, we're married. I mean legally married? I got out. Not like married in your heart. I got out. Not like married in your heart. I got out in France. I was in the love bubble in France... I was too. ..and you were on the job? I've got something for you, Spence. (LAUGHS) Spread your legs. Oh, no. You are not getting off that easy. Spread 'em! Oh! OK! (GRUNTS) Oh, my God! Here. Oh, my God! Hold this. Oh, my God! Hold this. Oh, God! Wait! Hold on. Yeah! (SCREAMS) Thank you. He's on my side. He's on my side! Here we go. Oh, my God! Ohh! Oh, my God! (FIRES GUN) Ohh! Oh, cool! Race cars! Yeah! (SCREAMS) Ahh! Damn! I got him. You OK? Uh-huh. Alright. He's going to be close behind. Oh, God. Hide. What? Hide. Now! OK. (TYRES SCREECH) What are you going to do? What are you going to do? I'm going to kill him. (FIRES GUN) No! Ohh! Oh, God! (COUGHS) (ENGINE REVS) Whoa! (SCREAMS) Spence? Spencer. Get in the truck. Is he...? Yeah. Start talking. I was recruited in college, freshman year. Why did they choose you? They look for independent people. And after my parents passed, I didn't have any family, so... We gotta go, babe. You can be pissed at me in the truck. Are you going to kill me too? Come on, if I was gonna kill you, I would've shot you back at the house. I... That... ..sounded weird, I... Logically, you know that that's true. OK. Spread 'em. For Godsakes, what else do you have down there? How many people, Spencer? Four... ..teen. 15. It's 15. (SIGHS) Is 15 your real number? Or is that like when you ask a girl how many guys she's slept with and you have to double it and times it by 10? I didn't do that. I'm just... I didn't do that. I'm just... 15 is my number. And they were all bad guys as far as I know. But it was getting harder to tell. And then I met you. And we fell in love and I got out. My old boss reached out to me yesterday. He's staying in a hotel in Piedmont. He'll know what's going on. 1 (WOMAN SHOUTS DISTANTLY) Careful! Sweetie, your gun is showing. Where do you expect me to put it? Have you seen the size of this thing? (CHILDREN CHATTER DISTANTLY) GIRL: I got the other one! (KIDS LAUGH AND CHATTER) (PHONE RINGS) Oh, it's my Dad. Should I take it? (HANGS UP) (HIP-HOP RINGTONE PLAYS) I though you said you were gonna change that. (HANGS UP) Sweetheart, relax. It's a little early to check on Spencer, don't you think? And Jen will just be getting settled at the hotel. Yeah, you're right. Spence, I got that... ..from there. SPENCER: Easy. It's my old boss, Holbrook. Two to the heart, one in the head. It's old-school training. Had to be an experienced hitter. Alright, judging from his body, it happened earlier this morning. It's OK. It's the adrenaline. It'll go away in a little bit. How can you talk about him like that? You knew him. How can you talk about him like that? You knew him. It's my training, baby. Sorry. Spence, I can't stay here. I think I'm going to get sick. Spence, I can't stay here. I think I'm going to get sick. Just give me a second, baby. He had to have some information about the target. JEN: You already looked there. I'm missing something. It's the watch. It's wrong. He'd never wear anything this flashy. Nothing to get noticed. Look at this. It's broken. Who cares? No, no. It's a plug-in for, like, a flash drive or something. It's missing. You're right. Someone's taken the drive. OK. Alright. Let's go. JEN: Do you think that Henry got to Holbrook? No. Henry wasn't greenlit until this morning. There was another shooter at the house. I think we need to get out of here. Absolutely. And go to my parents'. No. Yes. No. Yes! No. Yes, my dad will know what to do. I used to do this for a living, OK? We do not want to involve your parents. And we definitely don't need help from your dad. I think we do because your plan to kill Henry and come see a dead guy, it's not really working out. I should have seen this coming. Of course you're going to rope your parents into this. Oh, you're a spy and a double agent but I'm the bad guy 'cause I want to call my parents? We've been married for three years and we've never been more than five minutes away from your parents. Must we do this now? Come on. They're always coming over. And your dad's all, "This is how the Kornfeldts load the dishwasher." And, "Mow the lawn clockwise 'cause that's the Kornfeldt way." "Take this piece of coal, stick it up your keister, squeeze it real tight like we do "and you'll make a Kornfeldt diamond." OK, hold up. You're talking about my parents. Yeah, and I'm your husband. What are we going to do when we have our own kids? (VOMITS) SPENCER: Jen, Jen... Just talk to me for a second. Look, I take it back. I love your parents. I'm sending them a mental hug right now. Look... Spencer! Hey! You OK? Yeah, I'm good. Yeah. Your garage, it's...it's a wreck. Yeah, it was a party foul, the whole thing... You do realise we have the block party tonight and it's...it's a real eyesore. Well, then, don't look at it, Pete! You can't just run off like that. You make it impossible for me to protect you. A little late for protection. What? Think about it. My emotions are all over the place, I'm picking up smells that half the K-9 unit would miss, plus, I pretty much feel like vomiting every time I breathe. Baby, it's been a stressful day. Explain these. Aren't they always that big? You take the pill every day. I know. But I had strep last month, remember? I had to take a Z-Pak. Antibiotics knock out the pill. That's why I said to be careful. I thought you were talking about my technique, not getting knocked up. I thought you were talking about my technique, not getting knocked up. OK, don't yell at me, sure-shot. You're the one who suggested naked Saturdays. Can I help you? Stop it. What? Be nice. She's staring at us. Don't do that. Staring is rude. Can we just...? We're not in a library. Let's pick up the pace. Well, they're not all equally accurate, OK? Well, it's crazy to stand out here in the aisle, so...take one, take them all. I don't know. Who cares? I care. I care, Spence. It would be awesome to know if I am actually making a little being inside of me, OK? And don't you call me crazy! I'm not calling you crazy. The scenario is crazy. Standing here... You know what? You're not helping. Uh, folks? Could I be of some assistance? Yes. Yes, you can. Ah...uh... Kevin. Which one of these is the most accurate? Jen, I don't think he's a pregnancy test expert. Well, First Response seems to be pretty popular. Um...can't seem to keep it on the shelf. Great. Here you go. OK. Must be your first. Pregnancy test? Baby. Oh. Yeah. (BOTH CHUCKLE) Well, it may be your lucky day. (MACHINE BEEPS) (SOFTLY) God, stop it. Look at that, it's on sale. Great! That's great. (CHUCKLES) Let's go. Thank you so much. Thanks. I'm coming. No judging. I need to follow protocol, report Holbrook's termination. We'll get a safe house ` you'll be protected there and I can figure out who Holbrook's target was. Maybe find out who set this whole thing in motion. As long as I get to pee on the stick and eat my delicious jerky, I'm in. As long as I get to pee on the stick and eat my delicious jerky, I'm in. Great. Listen, there's one more thing. And you can't be upset. I need to steal a car. Hmm. The truck's shot to shit. That would be the least awful thing we do all day, so go for it. God, I'm eating like I just got home from Fat Camp. I'm glad you said it. Really? You want to poke Mama Bear right now? That seems like a good idea? You're kind of scary right now. Just make your phone call. (DIALS NUMBER) MAN: You are a go for contact. This is Zulu 1-4-9er. Sierra 1-0-0's been forcibly retired prior to contact. Please advise a secure location for briefing. Hold for further instructions. "Zulu 1-4-9er"? It's my codename. (GIGGLES) It's just not very catchy. Sorry, all the cool codenames were taken. Zulu 1-4-9er, please confirm your contact and his status. Sierra 1-0-0. And his status is 'dead'. And I believe his target has put a hit on me. Negative. Sierra 1-0-0 has no targets. He is no longer an active agent. Please provide your location and coord... (HANGS UP) What happened? Something's not right. Where are you going? To search Henry's stuff. To find out who hired him. Maybe there's a connection to Holbrook. Oh, and you could do your...pee thing. 1 JEN: I got it. I'm in. Nice. Porn...porn...porn. Por-r-r-r-n. Porn. People are so inventive. They're, like, propped up there and... They're, like, propped up there and... OK. OK, how weird is this going to get? Because there are some things you cannot un-see. It's a picture of Henry's dog, Sir Barksalot. It's a picture of Henry's dog, Sir Barksalot. In costume? I don't know. Wait a minute. Look at the size of these files. Oh, my God. These are pictures from two years ago. I mean, this was the first block party we went to. Whoever set this up was patient enough to embed Henry and God knows who else into my life. Our life. Our life. (SIGHS) Wait. Wha...? I'm pretty sure your dad took that one. What is that supposed to mean? Nothing. It's just an observation. Nothing. It's just an observation. Yes, an observation about my father and that photo. Because it's a picture that he took. Because it's a picture that he took. OK, so, now my dad is a bad guy. I definitely did not say... No, no, no. You're right. Because you're a liar... Oh, OK. ..and a hit man, and everyone... Here we go. ..probably is too. Right. So, I bet my mom's in on it and Gammy Kornfeldt. Yeah, I think she's just messing with our minds with the whole 'I'm in a wheelchair' bit! OK, we are getting into some counter-productive territory here and I think we should move on to something else. Like...like, maybe we should piss on a stick now. That would be a good idea. It is a good idea because I have to pee. Grab my gun. You can't just walk out and... You are aware people are trying to kill us? You are aware people are trying to kill us? I really have to go. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, for Godsakes, just turn the light on. There's not a lot of places to hide. Just humour me. Why, thanks. (CLEARS THROAT) (SIGHS) (SNIGGERS) (SIGHS) I can't pee with you just standing there staring at me. Honey, you've peed in front of me a million times. But there's a little more pressure now, don't you think? Better? No. Really? (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS) Ahh. Honey, please, can you just give me one minute? It's going to take a minute. You can guard the door. (DISTANT RATTLE) Hey! Hey. You're here. YOU'RE here. Well, I'm glad. Look, there's a problem with the Wynnkay account. June 2008, the billing? You might want to take a look at it. June 2008, the billing? You might want to take a look at it. You know what? Let's forget the billing. Listen, we'll take care of it on Monday. Are you sure? Yeah. OK. Great. (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Arggh! Ohh! Ugh! (GROANS) (GRUNTS) Ahh! Ugh! (HIP-HOP MUSIC CONTINUES) Spence? Ohh! (GRUNTS) Spence? Ahh! Ugh! (GRUNTS) Oww! Ugh! Arggh! Hey! You! You stop it. Arggh! Stop it! (CHOKES) (GUN CLICKS) Honey, I don't know how to... It's not...it's not shooting. I don't... Oh, God! I... (GRUNTS) (SCREAMS) Ahh! (GROANS) Ahh! Are you OK? (GRUNTS) Baby, are you alright? Shit, I'm out of ammo. Bullets before babies, huh? Baby, ammo's kind of important right now. What's it say? What's two bars mean? Hey. You've got to translate this for me. Hey... am I going to be a dad? I'm going to be a mother. But I'm not sure yet if you're going to be a father. Jen, Jen. I know you're upset and you have every right to be. But I can't change who I was. Where does that leave us? We'll figure it out. How? I will keep you safe. HOW? Tell me how and I will stay. It's over, Spence. I know you don't want this to be over. What I wanted stopped mattering the moment I saw those two bars. Where are you going? Jen... Jen. Jen! (WISTFUL MUSIC) (SIGHS) (CAR HORN BLARES) (GASPS) Whoa! Oh. Olivia. (PHONE RINGS) Henry, who is calling you? You've got to be kidding me. (HORN TOOTS) Hey, Spence, I've got a package for you. Relax, buddy. Try a little decaf. Come around the other side for me. I think it's that back-order fabric from Tucson. Sure took its sweet time getting here, huh? Yeah. I just need your signature on the top there. Pen? Oh, yeah. Ugh! Ugh! (GROANS) I think I got him. Yeah, you got him. Oh, God, I'm glad you're OK. God, look at the windshield. You must have really pissed him off. (TYRES SCREECH) Ahh! Ugh! Is anyone...not trying to kill me? (BOOM) (SIGHS) Thanks. Let's go steal a car. 1 JEN: So, what do we do now? I don't know. Maybe some couples counselling. No. NOW, Spencer. What do we do right now? Right now. Right now we're going to go to the house, I've got a go-bag, we've got money, weapons, passports. We're set. Why exactly do we have a go-bag? Spencer, did you know this was going to happen? Spencer, did you know this was going to happen? No. I didn't know. You're lying. You are lying. No, I'm not lying... Am I telling you everything? No. I'm not telling you everything, OK? But we're married. That's what married people do, honey. They lie to each other. They tell people things that aren't true to keep them safe and to protect one another when they ask things like if they have their mother's arms. Not that you have your mother's arms, I'm not... You lied to ME! No, I didn't! The first time we met. No, I didn't! Well, unless your dad is a Russian pervert? Well, I came clean about that. You didn't. You did not come clean. I did too. No, you didn't. I can't help that you were sleeping. I didn't know that you sleep like a dead person. Come on! Well, I... For all I know, you heard everything I said. For all I know, you heard everything I said. Based on what? Based on...your leg was twitching. God, you know, this is perfect. This is just perfect. You couldn't have just been hiding tranny porn in the crawl-space like Suzie Brent's husband, Murray. Really? Murray Brent? No. No, no, no, you... That sonofabitch. ..had to be a spy. I can't believe I married a spy. What am I ` Pussy Galore? (CHUCKLES) Not that I know of. Excuse me? You're going to complain now about our sex life? Is that what you're doing? I'm not complaining... That's what you're gonna do now? ..about the sex. Pull the car over! We'll have sex right now! Just get it on! No! We're going to my parents'! No. I'm taking us to my parents' house. We're not going to your parents' house. We are. We are not. I said YES! Listen to me. We cannot go to your parents'. You have to trust me. (SIGHS) I love you. And I will protect you. Now, you did a great job of finding a car. I need you to point it at the house and step on it. OK. Fine. I'm stepping on it and it's not... It's not going. (HOLLOW THUDS) It's stopping, actually. It's starting to... (ENGINE WINDS DOWN) Uh-oh. Great. Didn't notice the, uh...blinking fuel light? You're right. I apologise. Topping up the tank should have been my first priority. (CAR APPROACHES) Run. (SCREAMS) Run. (SCREAMS) Go! Go that way! (SCREAMS) Darn it! It's locked. Well, stop pulling it! It's locked. I missed. Really? Run. Run! (CRASH) 20 million! You got him, sweetie! (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) (HORN BLARES) Come on. God, those Volvos are amazing. Yeah. They're good. (CHILDREN LAUGH) (FESTIVE MUSIC) Shit. The block party. Stay close, keep moving. Walnut muffin? (GUNFIRE) MAN: Everyone's a winner! MAN: Winner! We got a winner! MAN 2: Pop a balloon, win a prize! Just $3. MAN: Corn dogs. Get your corn dogs. Hey! You guys! Hey, Spence-Spence. Hey. Jen-Jen. Jen-Jen. Where are you guys going? They've got corn dogs. They've got regular... Oh, really? ..and they got bacon-covered. Hey. Honey, there's no way she's packing heat. Oh, well, you'd be surprised where people hide stuff. Guys, can I use the bathroom in your house? Number one. Where is the go-bag? In the office. Stay away from the windows, OK? The safe is underneath the carpet and the combination's our anniversary. Where are you going? To get the guns. Oh. To get the guns. More guns. That's great. (COCKS PISTOL) (READS) "Matilda Walfridsson"? Ooh, I'm Swedish! That's nice. (CREAK) Spence? Spencer, is that you? Spence? Spencer, is that you? (CREAK) Oh, God! Mom. Hey, you know, it is actually not a great time. Hey, you know, it is actually not a great time. You think? Kristen? Oh, you know, actually, that kind of makes sense. Oh, you know, actually, that kind of makes sense. (LAUGHS) Lower your gun or it's last call for Mommy. (CLICKS WEAPON) I told you, she's not nice. I told you, she's not nice. You told her that? That's very rude. (GUNFIRE) (SCREAMS) Goddammit! Who is up there?! I don't know. If somebody shoots Mr Perfect before I have the chance to, I will kill you both on principle. Lower your gun now. Check it out. Ahh! Ugh! Arggh! MAC: Lily! No! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GROANS) Arggh! Just let my mom go, OK? I am all the leverage you need. I didn't spend the last three years listening to you babble incessantly about your perfect little life to eff it all up now. So get in the living room, both of you. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Turn around. Come here, dear. Come on. You OK? Are you alright? Jen. To be fair, we did have some good times. Yeah. Remember... (GUNSHOTS) (SCREAMS) Ugh! Oh, there you are, dear. (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Answer the phone, sir. My dead best friend wants to let you know that your target's still alive. My dead best friend wants to let you know that your target's still alive. Stand down, Spencer. Whoa, hey. Guys. He killed Holbrook ` two to the heart, one to the head, remember? And then he pulled the trigger on me. Daddy, is that true? I put sleepers in your life, because I didn't trust your husband. I hoped I'd never have to use it. It's the flash drive from Holbrook's watch. It's the flash drive from Holbrook's watch. It's all there. His old boss turned dirty. And in your office, when I saw that card with his name on it, I knew you were back in the game and you were coming after me. So I activated the killers. I'm not trying to kill you, sir. Why don't you tell her about Nice where you tried to blow me up? Why don't you tell her about Nice where you tried to blow me up? How do you know about Nice? I was supposed to be on that helicopter. When I saw you, I didn't go. You said you got out when we met in France. You said you were in the love bubble. I got out. I'm out. Just look at him. Does he look like he's out? It was my last job. I'm out. I got out. For us. And I'm never going back. (SIGHS) So...you are not a pilot. Is that what...? Daddy, enough. Put your gun down. I have been dodging bullets all day thanks to you and it is not good for the baby. You have a baby? No, I'm going to. Oh! I knew it! (BOTH LAUGH EXCITEDLY) Let's celebrate. OK. I'm going to be a grandpa? Yes. (SCREAMS) Oh, God. Oh, my God. And you are the father? Oh, for Godsakes, Dad. Oh, my God. OK. OK. OK. OK. This would be a great time for a trust circle. SPENCER: A trust circle? Yes. Now? Yeah. Yeah, let's do that, OK? Let's gather, everybody. Dad, pull up a chair. Mother, join us. OK. OK. I don't do trust circles. I know, Mother, but I think that this is necessary. Humour me. (MOUTHS WORDS) OK, I finally understand that I am not to blame for this dynamic, OK? You are. And you need to own that. I need to own the fact that I unwittingly married the one man who is exactly like my father. A liar. So, if any of you want to ever see this kid, this is what's going to happen, OK? There will be no more lying. No more stealing cars or hiding weapons in the furniture. And I never want to see you two try to kill each other again, OK? In fact, there will be no more killing. I don't want to see you swat a fucking fly, OK? Alright? Are we all together on this? Yeah. Yeah? Great job, baby. Whoo. Is there anything else that I need to, or should, know? Anyone? Spencer. English is not my first language. (SPEAKS THAI) Oh, and also, the third week that we were together... ..you said, "I love you," in your sleep. And I didn't tell you because I wanted to be the one who said it first. I'm sorry. Thank you, honey. Mom? Hmm? Mom. Um... Do you remember that time that I took you and your little friend for a boat ride? No. No? Well, forget it, then. We're good. OK. OK, fine. In addition to planting killers in your life and secretly working for a government agency, I would like to admit... (KNOCK AT DOOR) JACKIE: Yoo-hoo! (KNOCKS AT DOOR) Jen! (KNOCKS AT DOOR) We need to talk about that darn property line. (LAUGHS) Hi, Jen. Ooh! Oww. Uh, sweetie, I don't think she was a killer. Oh, I know. MR KORNFELDT: Red wire crosses blue, good as new. SPENCER: Blue crosses red, good as dead. I know. It's my saying. That's not your saying. That's my saying. You copied me. I did not copy...I have not copied you a day in my life. I did not copy...I have not copied you a day in my life. Really? I think it's coming in nice, don't you? I think it's coming in nice, don't you? No. (BABY GURGLES) Well, he likes it. Don't you, buddy? You like Daddy's moustache, don't you? Don't you like that moustache? How's my little big guy doing? Great. Except your dad thinks I'm copying him, which I'm not. Will you tell him I'm not copying him? (LAUGHS) Sorry, sweetie, every girl marries her father. (LAUGHS) Sorry, sweetie, every girl marries her father. Oh, that's not gross. I certainly did. Oh, my father was one handsome man. (MAKES KISSING SOUNDS) Well built. Rippling muscles. His moustache was a lot larger than yours, though. Thick! Like a Balkan forest. Well, that's nice, Mother. But you're here to babysit, not creep me out. So if you wouldn't mind... (BABY BABBLES) Oh, hi! (CHUCKLES) Yeah, Grandma's a little scary. You know, maybe it's too soon. Maybe we should just stay. No. No. It's not too soon. We're not staying ` it's date night. We're going out, it's gonna be great. I'm wearing my skinny jeans. Don't worry, Spencer, you can trust us. Well, if we can't trust them, who can we trust, right? Well, if we can't trust them, who can we trust, right? Right. 'Bye, buddy. (ALARM BEEPS)