DO COME IN. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU COME VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED LIKE HER ROYAL HIGHNESS. (LAUGHS) THE DEMAND FOR DOMESTIC STAFF IS NOW HIGHER THAN EVER. I COULDN'T RUN THIS PLACE WITHOUT MY STAFF. YOU KNOW, JUST CLEANING THE WINDOWS HERE TAKES AGES. LAUGHTER WHETHER BEHIND THE GATES OF BRITAIN'S STATELY HOMES... I'M PROBABLY THE ONLY PERSON OVER 50 WITH MY NANNY ON SITE. ...OR JUST FOR THOSE WITH THE CASH TO SPLASH, THERE ARE STAFF TO CATER TO EVERY WHIM. I'D LIKE THEM TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE A PROPER MARTINI. IS THE` IS THE GLASS CHILLED? I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE THAT CAN BASICALLY BE ME BUT NOT SLEEP WITH MY HUSBAND. CROW CAWS IN THIS SERIES, WE FOLLOW THE CREAM OF SOCIETY... KISSY KISSY, BOO BOOS. OH, BYE, DARLING. ...IN THEIR SEARCH FOR THE VERY BEST DOMESTIC HELP,... THE LAST HANDYMAN UNFORTUNATELY LEFT BUT HE TOOK THE LADY OF THE HOUSE WITH HIM. ...AS WELL AS THE CANDIDATES WHO DREAM OF WORKING FOR THEM ` FINGERS CROSSED. (LAUGHS) I GOT IT. YES! (LAUGHS) FROM THE EXACTING INTERVIEWS... WHAT ARE YOUR RECREATIONAL INTERESTS? WALKING THE DOG ROUND THE PEAT DISTRICT. DOG... WALKING. OOH! OOH! OOH! DOGS SNARL ...TO THOSE TERRIBLY TOUGH RECRUITMENT DECISIONS. HELEN'S BIG FAULT IS SHE'S SO VERY PRETTY. (CHUCKLES) BECAUSE AS EVERYONE KNOWS, FINDING GOOD STAFF... CLANK! ...IS THE HARDEST JOB OF ALL. HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S JUST COME OFF THE STREET. YOU DO SOMETHING TO MY DOGS, I DO SOMETHING TO YOUR CAT. FORGET ABOUT ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF THEIR MOUTH AT THE INTERVIEW. THEY'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING. IT'S ALL LIES. DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2016 THE VICTORIANS KNEW A THING OR TWO ABOUT DOMESTIC STAFF. IN 1901, OVER 1.5 MILLION PEOPLE WORKED IN SERVICE. DURING THOSE GLORY DAYS, ONE WOULD FIND ONE'S STAFF VIA WORD OF MOUTH OR PUBLICATIONS SUCH AS THE LADY MAGAZINE. FROM DAY ONE, THE CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS WERE TO THE FORE. IN FACT, IF YOU LOOK AT THE FIRST EDITION, YOU WILL SEE ENDLESS CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS IN THE MAGAZINE. HELLO, JAKE. HI. LOVELY TO MEET YOU. HOW DO YOU DO? NICE TO MEET YOU. TIMES MAY HAVE CHANGED, BUT HAPPILY THERE'S NO SUBSTITUTE FOR LOOKING A MAN IN THE EYE OVER THE INTERVIEW TABLE. WELCOME. SIT DOWN HERE. HOW'S THAT FEELING, THERE? IT FEELS ABSOLUTELY FINE, TO BE HONEST. STRUGGLING TO FIND THE STAFF THIS WEEK IS A BARONET IN SEARCH OF SOMEONE WORTHY TO POLISH HIS ARMOURY; HOW DO YOU THINK THAT SWORD MIGHT BE USED? YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE THE ONE HAND SORT OF SWINGING ROUND AND DRAG AS YOU GO PAST. THAT HANDLE IS NOT MADE FOR ONE HAND; IT'S MADE FOR TWO HANDS. UH, I WANT THE JOB A LOT. (LAUGHS) I REALLY REALLY WANT IT. A LADY WHO REQUIRES A BUTLER OF ABSOLUTE DISCRETION; I'VE SPENT SEVEN YEARS LOOKING AFTER THE PRINCE OF WALES AND HIS FAMILY. SO YOU REALLY DO COME VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. AND A RUSSIAN PRINCESS LOOKING FOR A GARDEN BOY WITH AN AGREEABLE OUTLOOK. I HUNT. YEAH. SO` AND I THINK YOU MIGHT BE ANTI. YES. JOVIAL CLASSICAL MUSIC PROVENDER HOUSE IN KENT IS A CHARMING RESIDENCE DATING BACK TO THE 13TH CENTURY, AND ITS OWNER ALSO LAYS CLAIM TO A RATHER IMPRESSIVE LINEAGE. INTRODUCING HER IMPERIAL HIGHNESS, PRINCESS OLGA ANDREEVNA ROMANOFF. THAT'S MY GREAT GRANDFATHER, ALEXANDER III OF RUSSIA. MY MOTHER MARRIED MY FATHER IN 1941. HE WAS THE ELDEST NEPHEW OF NICHOLAS II OF RUSSIA. PRINCE ANDREI ALEXANDROVICH ROMANOFF ` OR DADDY ` GREW UP IN THE WINTER PALACE IN ST PETERSBURG SURROUNDED BY A FEW FAMILIAR FACES FROM THE HISTORY BOOKS. HERE IS NICK AND GEORGE ` SO THAT'S CZAR AND KING. THERE IS MY AUNT, ARINA. SHE GOT MARRIED AT THE AGE OF 18 TO FELIX YUSUPOV. MY FATHER DIDN'T REALLY APPROVE OF FELIX AFTER HE AND GRAND DUKE DIMITRI HAD MURDERED RASPUTIN. PRINCE ANDRE MADE A SHARP EXIT FROM RUSSIA, GETTING TO THE GARDEN OF ENGLAND BEFORE OLGA CAME ALONG, PLUS ALL THE STUFF ONE NEEDS TO RAISE A ROYAL BABY. I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO TO SCHOOL. I HAD TO HAVE` I WAS VERY VERY PRECIOUS. I WAS MY MOTHER'S ONE AND ONLY VERY PRECIOUS CHILD. SO EVERYBODY CAME TO ME. I HAD GOVERNESSES, TUTORS, ETCETERA, HERE. I WENT TO FINISHING SCHOOL WHEN I WAS 17 ` BLISS. THESE DAYS, HER ENTOURAGE IS RATHER SHRUNK. AND SINCE OLGA'S MOTHER LEFT HER THE HOUSE IN 2000, SHE'S BEEN REQUIRED TO PUT HER BACK INTO IT. I NAIVELY THOUGHT WE'D SPEND ALL THE MONEY ON THE HOUSE, DO IT UP, AND I HADN'T TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION, OF COURSE YOU'VE GOT THE UPKEEP OF THE THING, AND IT'S SOMETHING` IT'S LIKE A JOB. AND AS I'VE NEVER REALLY HAD A PROPER JOB, THIS IS QUITE INTERESTING, AS I'M 64. I FIND THIS QUITE INTERESTING. SOMETIMES I WOULDN'T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD 'INTERESTING'. OK, EVERYBODY. WE'RE GOING THIS WAY. TO KEEP THE COFFERS HEALTHY, OLGA IS NOW UNDER DURESS TO OPEN HER HOUSE AND GARDENS TO THE GREAT BRITISH PUBLIC. AND PLEASE WATCH THE STEPS DOWN. SHE'S ALSO HAD TO DEVELOP HER SKILLS AS A TOUR GUIDE. HOW GHASTLY. YEAH, STEP AND HEAD. WELL, YOUR HEAD WILL BE ALL RIGHT. HERE THERE ARE VARIOUS FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS. UH, LIVING ONES ARE AT THE BACK. WE ALL LOOK QUITE PISSED. NOW, THIS ROOM IS CALLED THE OAK ROOM. THAT IS MY MOTHER. SHE POSED FOR HER PORTRAIT IN THIS ROOM IN 1962, AND SHE SAID THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT IT WAS THE BOSOM AND PUT LIPSTICK ON HER MOUTH. ANYBODY THAT COMES TO THE HOUSE, THEY PARTLY COME TO THE HOUSE TO LOOK AT THE HOUSE COS IT'S 13TH CENTURY AND PARTLY TO COME AND LOOK AT ME. THAT IS MYSELF THAT WOULDN'T GET OFF MY PONY AGE 7. THEY PUT ME IN THE MOST REVOLTING DRESS THAT I HATE. LAUGHTER YOU KNOW, THEY COME AND THEY TALK AND THEY CHAT AND OCCASIONALLY THEY SORT OF TOUCH ` NOT OFTEN. MONEY FOR THE CARDS GOES IN HERE. THE ACCOUNTANT LIKES ME TO KEEP THEM SEPARATE. WOMAN: OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING. I DO THIS TO KEEP THE ROOF ON. IF I WASN'T DOING THIS, I'D BE UP TO MISCHIEF. COS I'D PREFER TO BE GALLOPING AROUND THE COUNTRYSIDE, TO BE HONEST. BUT ANYWAY. WHEN THE HOI POLLOI AREN'T NOSING AROUND THE ARTEFACTS, PROVENDER IS AVAILABLE FOR WEDDINGS AND EVENTS, PUTTING A SIZABLE BURDEN ON PART-TIME GARDENER SHAUN, WITH WHOM HER HIGHNESS ENJOYS A RATHER CASUAL WORKING RELATIONSHIP. SHAUN! COFFEE. WEED-EATER WHIRRS, STOPS THANKS VERY MUCH. A BIG CHUNK OF THE MAGNOLIA'S GOT TO GO. SOME OF THAT ONE'S TAKING OUT. A LOT; I MEAN, A BIG CHUNK. FIRST THING TO DO IS TAKE OUT ALL DEAD WOOD UP THERE. JUST CUT IT WITHOUT GOING THROUGH THE RIGMAROLE OF CROSSING BRANCHES. MM. CLEARLY, PLEASING A PRINCESS ISN'T ALWAYS EASY, AND IN ORDER TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES FOR PROVENDER'S EVENTS, OLGA HAS DECRIED THAT SHAUN NEEDS AN APPRENTICE. I'M HOPING THAT A GARDEN BOY WOULD BE VERY, UM, USER-FRIENDLY. THEY COULD DO ALL THE MENIAL TASKS THAT THE GARDENER DIDN'T WANT TO DO. I COULD BE HERE EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, REALLY. TO MAINTAIN THE FLOWER BORDERS AS THEY SHOULD BE. WE'VE ALL GOTTA START FROM THE GROUND UP, HAVEN'T WE? YES. EVENTUALLY, I` I DON'T WANT THE GARDEN PUT BACK LIKE IT WAS (GROANS) IN MY GRANDMOTHER'S DAY. IF IT'S CLEARED WITH A BRUSH HOOK AND A STRIMMER, AT LEAST YOU CAN SEE, THEN, WHERE THE LAYOUT WAS. BUT I DON'T WANT THAT. NO. I WANT SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. RIGHT. NAPOLEON SAID 'IN VICTORY, ONE DESERVES CHAMPAGNE. BUT IN DEFEAT, ONE NEEDS IT.' IE ANY EXCUSE IS ENOUGH TO OPEN A BOTTLE. BUT HERE'S HOW TO DO IT PROPERLY. POIGNANT MUSIC REMOVE THE FOIL AND THE CAGE... THEN GRIP THE CORK FIRMLY AND GRADUALLY TWIST THE BASE OF THE BOTTLE. AT THE POINT WHERE ONE FEELS THE CORK BEGIN TO YIELD, TENSE THE ARM TO RECEIVE THE PRESSURE THEN PERFORM A HALF TURN ANTI-CLOCKWISE, RELEASING THE GAS WITH A WHISPER. CLICK! WIPE INSIDE THE LIP TO KEEP THE BUBBLES BACK AND POUR INTO A SUITABLE RECEPTACLE READY TO QUAFF. FIZZ! YOUR CHAMPAGNE, SIR. THEY SAY AN ENGLISHMAN'S HOME IS HIS CASTLE. THIS ONLY BECAME THE CASE FOR SIR HUMPHRY WAKEFIELD IN 1982 WHEN HE HAD THE GOOD FORTUNE TO FIND A WIFE WITH AN ESTATE. I'VE LIVED HERE FOR 30 YEARS NOW, AND I'VE SIMPLY LOVED IT. WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE, THERE WERE NO ROOFS. THERE WERE FLOORS BUT THEY'D ROTTED THROUGH. AND IT'S BEEN WONDERFUL. IN FACT, PUTTING THEM BACK, IT'S LIKE YOU KISSED THE BULLFROG AND HE'S TURNED INTO AN AMAZING SORT OF PRINCE HERO. SIR HUMPHRY HAS SINCE PURCHASED CHILLINGHAM HIMSELF, AND HIS RESTORATION EFFORTS HAVE DRAWN ADMIRERS FROM FAR AND WIDE. HERE WERE SOME PEOPLE FROM THE ISLAND OF VANUATU WHO CAME TO US. THEY'RE MARVELLOUS PEOPLE. THEY WERE DRESSED IN CLOTHES WHEN THEY CAME HERE, BUT THE MOMENT THEY SAW A WEAPON, THEY STRIPPED OF ALL THEIR CLOTHES, UH, COS THAT'S WHAT MEN DO. ONE COULDN'T POSSIBLY COMMENT. AS A FORMER MILITARY MAN HIMSELF, CAPTAIN WAKEFIELD, OF THE 10TH ROYAL HUSSARS, HAS DEVELOPED A PECULIAR LOVE FOR INSTRUMENTS OF WARFARE. IN FACT, HE OWNS OVER 1000 PIECES. I'VE GOT HUNDREDS OF SWORDS. YOU COULD IMAGINE, UM, THAT HANDLING KNOCKING OFF A HEAD ALL RIGHT. SUITS OF AMOUR. IT WAS AMAZINGLY CLAUSTROPHOBIC. HORSE ARMOUR. 16TH, 17TH CENTURY FROM PERSIA. ELEPHANT ARMOUR. THAT'S INDIAN; PROBABLY 19TH CENTURY. YOU NAME IT, IT'S HERE. THIS IS A GUN FROM AFGHANISTAN. AND IT'S URGENTLY IN NEED OF ATTENTION. BUT AS TIME MARCHES ON FOR 77-YEAR-OLD SIR HUMPHRY, HIS COLLECTION IS UNDER THREAT FROM A MORTAL ENEMY. IT'S DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN ARMS AND ARMOUR PARTICULARLY BECAUSE RUST IS A CONSTANT ATTACK. SO SIR HUMPHRY IS ON A NOBLE QUEST FOR A LIEGE TO WORK 40 HOURS A WEEK FOR THE NATIONAL MINIMUM WAGE OF �6.31 AN HOUR. I EXPECT LOYALTY TO THE CASTLE, AND I WANT THEM TO GIVE THEIR LIFE AND SO TO THE CASTLE. I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO'LL UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT I'M TELLING THEM TO DO. CASTLE GORING IN SUSSEX AND A BIJOU CHATEAU IN THE TOWN HAVE SEEN MANY A SOIREE FOR RENOWNED HOSTESS AND CONTROVERSIAL ROYAL BIOGRAPHER LADY COLIN CAMPBELL. WELL, IF SHE GETS THE DUKE TO COME, I PROMISE YOU EVERYBODY WILL FLOOD IN, BECAUSE YOU KNOW EVERYBODY ALWAYS FLOODS IN WHEN MEMBERS OF THE ROYAL FAMILY COMES. THIS EVENING, SHE'S PLANNING AN AFFAIR AT A MORE MODEST LONDON RESIDENCE. I'M HAVING A SMALL DINNER FOR SOME VERY GOOD FRIENDS. ALL OF THEM ARE VERY CIVILISED AND VERY SOPHISTICATED. BORN IN JAMAICA TO THE PROMINENT ZIADIE FAMILY, GEORGIE ARIANA BECAME LADY COLIN CAMPBELL WHEN SHE WED LORD COLIN IVAR CAMPBELL IN 1974. DESPITE THEIR DIVORCE IN 1975, HER TITLE REMAINED. BUT ONE THING SHE'S NEVER BEEN WITHOUT IS HER STAFF. WELL, I'VE HAD THREE NANNIES FOR THE BOYS, TWO MAIDS. I HAD A WONDERFUL AU PAIR CALLED ARIANA STAPENATZ, AND MY HOUSEKEEPER IN LONDON HAS BEEN WITH ME FOR DECADES. THIS EVENING, LADY COLIN DESIRES SOME EXTRA SPARKLE, SO SHE'S SEEKING A BUTLER OF DISTINCTION TO HELP MAINTAIN HER REPUTATION. TO ME, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WHEN LOOKING TO EMPLOY SOMEBODY IS THAT THEY HAVE A GOOD CHARACTER. AS HERACLITUS SAYS, CHARACTER IS DESTINY. HOPING HIS CHARACTER DESTINES HIM FOR THE JOB IS FREELANCE BUTLER GRANT HAROLD. NOW, PLEASE DO EXCUSE THE VULGAR MONEY TALK, BUT AN AVERAGE BUTLER'S SALARY IS �25,000 PER ANNUM. A VERY NON-AVERAGE BUTLER CAN EARN OVER �100,000. OUR MAN GRANT HAS BEEN IN THE BUSINESS FOR 17 YEARS. I'VE BEEN REAL LUCKY. I'VE WORKED FOR THE TWO DUKES OF BEDFORD. AND THEN I WENT TO WORK FOR THE PRINCE OF WALES AND THE DUCHESS OF CORNWALL. UNTIL THE 17TH CENTURY, THE BUTLER'S ROLE WAS PURELY TO LOOK AFTER HIS MASTER'S WINE, BUT GRANT IS A VERY MODERN-DAY JEEVES. A BUTLER DOES EVERYTHING. HOUSEKEEPING, A BIT OF NANNYING, CHAUFFEURING, EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN A DOMESTIC HOUSEHOLD, THE BUTLER SOMETIMES HAS TO BE ABLE TO DO. A GOOD BUTLER IS VERY VISIBLE AND VERY PERSONABLE WHEN HE NEEDS TO BE, AND WHEN HE SHOULDN'T BE, HE'S COMPLETELY INVISIBLE. HOPING HE'LL GET THE BALANCE RIGHT, GRANT ARRIVES FOR HIS AUDIENCE WITH HER LADYSHIP. HELLO. LOVELY TO MEET YOU. LOVELY TO MEET YOU. YOU COME VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. (LAUGHS) LIKE HER ROYAL HIGHNESS. OH, OF COURSE. PRINCESS KATARINA. YEAH. LADY COLIN'S CHUM, HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, PRINCESS KATARINA OF YUGOSLAVIA, PUT IN A GOOD WORD FOR GRANT. RATHER NEATLY, SHE'LL ALSO BE GRACING THE DINNER WITH HER PRESENCE. CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF? I STARTED OFF IN SCOTLAND WORKING FOR TWO FAMILIES. WHAT WERE THE FAMILIES? SHWARZENBACH AND, UH, HANBURYS. I'M FRIENDLY WITH THE PRESENT DUCHESS, LOUISE, WHO WAS THE NEXT MARCHIONESS. THIS IS WHY I ASK. BUT GRANT'S SERVICE PEDIGREE INCLUDES MORE THAN A MARCHIONESS. THE PRINCE OF WALES WAS LOOKING FOR A BUTLER IN HIS HOUSEHOLD. I SPENT SEVEN YEARS LOOKING AFTER HIM AND HIS FAMILY. SO YOU REALLY DO COME VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. HOW MANY GUESTS HAVE YOU GOT COMING? IT'S GOING TO BE EIGHT OF US. EVERYBODY'S VERY LAXED. AND IT'S A NICE NUMBER. YEAH. 14 ALWAYS ASSURES A ROW. YEAH. BUT I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ABSOLUTELY SUPERB TOMORROW EVENING. WELL, GRANT, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING. YOU TAKE GOOD CARE. GOD BLESS. BYE. I THINK HE'S DIVINE. ASIDE FROM COMING HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FROM HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, TURNS OUT HE'S WORKED FOR FRIENDS OF MINE. THE VICTORIANS INTENDED CHANDELIERS TO RESEMBLE STARS PLUCKED FROM THE HEAVENS. SO IN ORDER TO AVOID CLOUDY EVENINGS IN THE DRAWING ROOM, CLEANING MUST TAKE PLACE AT LEAST TWICE A YEAR. CREATE A SOLUTION OF WASHING UP LIQUID AND WHITE VINEGAR, THEN ADD WARM WATER. BUT REMEMBER ` SUPERFLUOUS SUDS SUPRESS SPARKLE. WET A MUSLIN CLOTH IN THE SOLUTION AND WIPE DOWN EACH BEAD. WITH THE OTHER HAND, TAKE A DRY CLOTH AND POLISH. IMAGINE ONESELF TO BE A MILK MAID IN THE DAYS OF CONSTABLE AS A STEADY RHYTHM FOCUSES THE MIND. BEFORE LONG, ONE'S LIGHT FITTINGS WILL BE DAZZLING THE NEIGHBOURS ONCE MORE, JUST AS NATURE INTENDED. AT CHILLINGHAM CASTLE IN NORTHUMBERLAND, IT'S INTERVIEW DAY FOR THE ROLE OF ARMOUR POLISHER IN CHIEF. FIRST IN IS ANTONY SULE. IN SIR HUMPHRY'S BOOK, HE MAY NEED A SHORT BACK AND SIDES, BUT THE LOOK IS ALL PART OF ANTONY'S PASSION. I STUDY THE METHODS AND PRACTICES OF HOW TO USE A SWORD, SPECIFICALLY THE 15TH CENTURY GERMAN STYLES OF COMBAT. FROM NEARBY ALNWICK, 28-YEAR-OLD ANTONY IS SIMPLY GA-GA OVER MEDIEVAL SWORDSMANSHIP. WE GENERALLY USE WOODEN ONES FOR TRAINING. IT'LL STILL HURT IF YOU GET HIT BY ONE, BUT IT'S A LITTLE BIT SAFER THAN BEING HIT BY STEEL. COMBINATIONS OF SINGLE-HANDED,... TWO HANDS, HAND AND DAGGER. JUST TAKE TIME, PRACTICE JUDGEMENT AND IT WORKS OUT PRETTY WELL. SIT DOWN AND WE'LL GET ON WITH LIFE. TELL ME ` WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'D LIKE THIS JOB? UM, I'M VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THE MEDIEVAL PERIODS. UM, I ACTUALLY STUDY THE HISTORICAL TEXTS ON HOW TO USE THE WEAPONS, VARIOUS FANCY MANUALS. WHO DO YOU EXPECT TO USE THEM AGAINST? UM, IT'S NO ONE SPECIFIC. IT'S MORE, UM, YOU DO ACTUALLY LEARN QUITE A BIT OF SKILLS THROUGH THERE, SUCH AS TIMING. AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE MOMENT? AT THE MOMENT, I'M WORKING AT ALNWICK YOUTH HOSTEL. YES, WONDERFUL. UM, MAIN` MAINLY CLEANING. WELL DONE YOU, JUST GETTING DOWN AND DOING SOMETHING, WHICH IS` WHICH IS JUST FANTASTIC. SIR HUMPHRY WANTS TO TEST ANTONY'S METAL WITH ONE OF HIS BEST BLADES. SO HOW DO YOU THINK THAT SWORD MIGHT BE USED? UM, POSSIBLY ON HORSEBACK. I THINK YOU'LL HAVE A NIGHTMARE, IF YOU'RE RIDING A HORSE, TO USE TWO HANDS ON THE WEAPONS. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE THE ONE HAND SORT OF SWINGING ROUND AND DRAG AS YOU'RE GOING PAST. THAT HANDLE IS NOT MADE FOR ONE HAND; IT'S MADE FOR TWO HANDS. YOU'D HAVE TO BE A BIG GUY TO DRAW THAT OUT WITH ONE GREAT DRAW. I THINK IT'S MORE OF A CASE OF SOMEONE'S HOLDING THE SCABBARD WHILE THE OTHER PERSON DRAWS IT. WELL, LOOK, WHAT'S THAT FOR? YEAH. THAT'LL BE ATTACHED TO A BELT, BUT IT'LL BE MUCH EASIER FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DRAW THE SWORD. IT WOULD BE EASIER, BUT IN GENERAL YOU DO NOT GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DRAW YOUR SWORD; YOU DRAW YOUR OWN SWORD, AND YOU'VE GOT TO BE A LARGE GUY TO BE ABLE TO DRAW OUT THIS. HIS REACTION ABOUT THE` THE SCABBARD, UM, I'M NOT QUITE SURE WHAT TO MAKE OF THAT, REALLY. POTENTIALLY CONFUSION, MAYBE, OR` OR A LITTLE FRUSTRATION. UM, IF ONE WORKS ON THAT WITH THAT METAL POLISH. I WANT THE JOB A LOT. (LAUGHS) I REALLY REALLY WANT IT, COS THAT WAS` THAT WAS VERY ENJOYABLE. I COULD LEARN QUITE A BIT OF INFORMATION FROM HIM AND POTENTIALLY LIKEWISE, HE COULD LEARN FROM ME. BIRDS CHIRP PRINCESS OLGA ROMANOFF, DESCENDANT OF THE RUSSIAN CZARS, WAS RAISED AND SCHOOLED AT PROVENDER HOUSE IN KENT. BUT INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY WAS CLEARLY NOT ON THE CURRICULUM. NO! SKYPE TONE CHIMES STUPID... WHO THE HELL IS CALLING ME? HELLO? HELLO? CURIOUS MUSIC (SIGHS) SIGHS: UM... WITH A HEFTY 35AC OF ESTATE TO MAINTAIN, OLGA'S ROYAL FLORA ARE IN DANGER OF WILTING, SO SHE'S LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY TO FILL A ROLE THAT HAS AN HISTORIC PRECEDENT. WELL, MY IDEAL HOPE FOR TODAY WOULD BE TO FIND A SUITABLE PERSON TO BE GARDEN BOY. TRADITIONALLY, THE GARDEN BOY WAS REALLY YOUNG, COS IN THE OLD DAYS YOU COULD LEAVE SCHOOL AT 14. THEY LEARNT UNDER THE GARDNER ` OF COURSE, IT WAS A FULL-TIME PERMANENT GARDENER HERE. AND, UH, MY MOTHER WOULD RING UP THE LOCAL COMPREHENSIVE AND SAY 'HAVE YOU GOT ANY SUITABLE CANDIDATES?' AND THAT WOULD ALSO BE FOR MAIDS. BOTH, YOU SEE. LOOKING LIKE HE WAS BORN FOR THE ROLE IS THE FIRST CANDIDATE FOR OLGA'S ASSESSMENT. 20-YEAR-OLD RHYS HERBERT WAS TAKEN BY THE IDEA OF EARNING �8 AN HOUR. I'M STUDYING ENGLISH AND ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES. I THINK I FANCIED A JOB OUTDOORS AFTER WORKING IN AN OFFICE FOR QUITE A WHILE. SO YEAH, I NEEDED SOMETHING A BIT DIFFERENT. (KNOCKS) DOGS YAP OLGA: NO, NO, NO! DOOR SQUEAKS HI. HELLO. HI, NICE TO MEET YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M RHYS. AT LEAST YOU BROUGHT LOVELY WEATHER WITH YOU. CHUCKLES: YEAH. DO SIT DOWN. SO TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF, RHYS. UM, WELL, I'M CURRENTLY A STUDENT AND STUDYING ENGLISH AND ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES. AH. UP AT KEEL UNIVERSITY. AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT GARDENS, PRESUMABLY? NOT TOO MUCH ABOUT GARDENS, BUT I WORKED IN SEVERAL COUNTRY PARKS AS A VOLUNTEER, SO, UM, YEAH, I'M NOT AVERSE TO GETTIN' MY HANDS DIRTY. GOOD-O. DOG YAPS GET DOWN. SORRY, THAT'S RONNIE, BY THE WAY. (CHUCKLES) AND THE OTHER ONE'S CALLED JAK THE JACK RUSSELL. J-A-K, DEAR. AND DO YOU HAVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS? ONE BROTHER AND ONE SISTER, YEAH. SO ARE YOU IN THE MIDDLE? I'M THE YOUNGEST. AH. MY MIDDLE CHILD HAD MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME FOR YEARS. IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW. OLD. (CHUCKLES) OK. YEAH, I'M HAPPY WITH THAT. SHE'S VERY FRIENDLY. SHE SEEMS LIKE AN INTERESTING PERSON. IT'S THE FIRST REAL INTERVIEW I'VE HAD, TO BE HONEST, SO I'M QUITE NERVOUS THE RELAXED EXTERIOR. RHYS, I THOUGHT, WAS VERY SWEET. HE SEEMS VERY WILLING AND QUICK ON THE UPTAKE AND A DELIGHTFUL BOY, SO WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES WITH THE OTHERS. THERE'S NO HIDING THE FACT THAT THE NEXT CANDIDATE STRUGGLES TO FIT THE BRIEF OF GARDEN BOY. BUT SUZANNE STEPHENS ` WHOSE AGE SHALL NOT BE DIVULGED HERE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH ` CAN AT LEAST SAY SHE HAS SOME WORK EXPERIENCE. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR WORK FOR QUITE A WHILE. I WENT TO COLLEGE QUITE A FEW YEARS AGO TO DO MY RHS QUALIFICATIONS, AND I WANT TO PUT IT INTO PRACTICE. DOGS YAP SHUT UP. SHUT UP! NO! DOOR SQUEAKS BOTH: HELLO. I'M SUZANNE. I'M OLGA. HI. HOW NICE TO MEET YOU. BEAUTIFUL. IT'S REALLY NICE THE WAY YOU'VE GOT IT. OOH. WELL, WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR IS SOMEONE TO COME IN AND DO THE THINGS THAT SHAUN DOESN'T HAVE THE TIME TO DO. IT'S A BIT OF WEEDING, WEEDING PATHS. WELL, I'M QUITE HAPPY WITH THE WEEDING; I'M QUITE HAPPY WITH THE, UM, PATHS. I ACTUALLY HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THE WEEDS COMING UP THROUGH MY DRIVEWAY, SO I'M OFTEN ON MY HANDS AND KNEES CLEARING THAT. CAN YOU DIG? I CAN DIG. I CAN EVEN DOUBLE DIG IF I NEED TO,... OOH. WHICH IS WHERE YOU DIG A TRENCH AND THEN YOU DIG THE NEXT TRENCH INTO THE FIRST TRENCH. VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE. WELL, I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN GARDENING SINCE I WAS LITERALLY OLD ENOUGH TO HOLD A TROUGH. I CAN REMEMBER BEING QUITE INTERESTED WHEN I WAS A CHILD DOING THAT SORT OF THING. UM, BUT SINCE I'VE HAD TO DO IT, I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. (CHUCKLES) WELL, THAT'S A SHAME. I THOUGHT SUZANNE WAS REALLY LOVELY. SHE KNEW MORE ABOUT PLANTING AND GARDENS THAN MOST OF THE GARDENERS I'VE MET IN THE PAST 20 YEARS. SHE WOULD TELL ME WHAT TO PLANT AND WHEN TO DO IT, AND THEN SHAUN COULD COME ALONG AND GET IT OFF. (LAUGHS) IN LONDON'S GLAMOUROUS KENNINGTON ` SURELY THAT SHOULD BE KEN-SING-TON. FINE. IN LONDON'S KENNINGTON, IT'S THE DAY OF LADY COLIN CAMPBELL'S DINNER PARTY. AND AS ONE WOULD HOPE, THE GUEST LIST BEFITS A LADY OF THE REALM. I'M HAVING PRINCESS KATARINA OF YUGOSLAVIA, BARONESS ANDRE LANAUVRE DE TARTAS, BARON MARK BURCA. IS HE THE ONE WHO SAT BESIDE MY AT THE FASHION SHOW? THEY'RE ALL OLD FRIENDS AND THEY'RE ALL INTERESTING. TO ENSURE LADY COLIN KEEPS UP HER REPUTATION AS HOSTESS OF HIGH REGARD, SHE'S HIRED FORMER ROYAL BUTLER GRANT HAROLD WHO, IN TURN, HAS BROUGHT AN UNDER BUTLER TO ASSIST HIM. LADY COLIN. HOW ARE YOU? HELLO, HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU. LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN. UH, I MAY I INTRODUCE CRAIG RIPLEY? CRAIG, THIS IS LADY COLIN. HOW DO YOU DO? VERY WELL, THANK YOU, YES. TOO KIND. THANK YOU. YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPER CRAIG HAS TRAVELLED DOWN FROM THE LAKE DISTRICT TO LEARN FROM HIS MENTOR. I'M VERY INTERESTED IN BRINGING TO, LIKE, AN UNDER BUTLER'S ROLE WITHIN A HOUSEHOLD. SO THIS WILL BE HELPFUL FOR ME. I'D LIKE TO WORK FOR THE PRINCES, YEAH. FOR PRINCE WILLIAM ESPECIALLY. AND TO WEAVE SOME MAGIC WITH THE CUISINE, LADY COLIN HAS BROUGHT IN A CHEF FOR THE EVENING. ROB, WOULD YOU MIND COMING OUT? GRANT. ROB. HOW DO YOU DO? LOVELY TO MEET YOU, GRANT. AND CRAIG. CRAIG. SO WHY DON'T I LEAVE THE THREE OF YOU TO WAVE YOUR MAGIC WANDS AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, OK? DON'T LOOK SO NERVOUS. YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT. ANY GOOD BUTLERS SHOULD KNOW THEIR PLACE, SO THEY FAMILIARISE THEMSELVES WITH BELOW STAIRS. THIS IS IT? THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE GOT? THIS IS ALL WE'VE GOT. WHERE'S THE BUTLER'S PANTRY? THERE'S LOTS OF CUPBOARDS. IT REMINDS ME OF BEING ON, LIKE, A SMALL BOAT. WE'LL DEFINITELY BE A GREAT TEAM BY THE END OF THE NIGHT. CRAIG'S FIRST TUTORIAL IS HOW TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY WHEN SERVING POLITE SOCIETY. IT'S A SMOKING JACKET, ISN'T IT? YES. UM, IT'S SMART, BUT YOU'RE BUTLERING; YOU'RE NOT HERE HAVING DINNER WITH THEM. YEAH, OF COURSE. SO I WOULD` I WOULD GO FOR SOMETHING MORE LIKE THIS. THANK YOU. OK. IMAGE IS REALLY IMPORTANT. YOU'VE GOT TO LOOK IMMACULATE, YOU'VE GOT TO LOOK THE PART. OH, VERY SMART. YES? YOU LOOK LIKE DICK VAN DYK OFF OF MERRY POPPINS. BOTH CHUCKLE OK. NOW, HOW ARE WE GETTING ON? COME AND SIT DOWN, MY DEAR. TAKE OUT YOUR PEN AND PAPER. GRANT'S APPRENTICE NOW HAS THE PRIVILEGE OF A MASTER CLASS FROM LADY COLIN ON THE REAL KEY TO A DINNER PARTY'S SUCCESS ` THE SEATING PLAN. BARON BURCA THERE. JOHN RANDALL THERE. WOMAN, WOMAN, WOMAN, WOMAN, MAN, MAN, MAN, MAN. YES. YEP. UM, MY LADY, IS THERE A SET WHERE YOU LIKE YOUR PLATE SETTINGS LAID UP? TRADITIONALLY ARISTOCRATIC, NON-ROYAL, CONTINENTAL STYLE. I LEAVE YOU GUYS. I'M NOW FLEEING TO DO MY ABLUTIONS. ANOTHER ESSENTIAL PIECE OF PROTOCOL FOR CRAIG TO MASTER IS HOW TO ADDRESS NOBILITY. WITH A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL FAMILY, IT'S JUST A... YEP. VERY SIMPLE, VERY QUICK. HANDS TO THE SIDES. FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T CURTSY TO ANYBODY. I'VE SEEN, UM, BUTLERS DO THAT. THE GUESTS HERE ARE VIP. THERE IS A PRINCESS HERE AND ALSO A LORD AND LADIES AND TWO BARONS. SO I WOULDN'T LIKE TO MAKE ANY MISTAKES OR POUR WINE ON THE GUESTS OR TO SPILL FOOD OR KNOCK A GLASS OVER. CLANG! WITH BOTH THE TABLE AND THE HOSTESS FULLY DRESSED, LADY COLIN IS READY TO GIVE HER VERDICT. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THAT PLATE SETTING? OH, IT'S` IF NOT, CHANGE IT HOW YOU'D WANT ME TO DO IT. BUT SINCE IT'S CONTINENTAL, IT SHOULD BE LIKE THIS. OH, THE OTHER WAY AROUND. OF COURSE. YOU KNOW WHY THIS IS, DON'T YOU? 200 YEARS AGO WHEN GENTLEMEN WORE LACED RUFFLES,... OH YES, YES. ...THEY WERE DONE LIKE THAT TO PREVENT THEM SNAGGING. THE WAY SHE LIKES TO DO THINGS, IT'S HER WAY AND THAT'S FINE. IT'S JUST EVERYONE'S GOT THEIR OWN WAY OF DOING THINGS, AND I ALWAYS SAY TO PEOPLE THAT IN YOUR OWN HOME, YOU'RE KING OF THE CASTLE. AT SIR HUMPHRY'S RESIDENCE IN NORTHUMBERLAND, THE INTERVIEWS CONTINUE. THE BARONET IS LOOKING FOR A SUITABLE YOUNG MAN ` OR WOMAN ` TO WORK 40 HOURS A WEEK PLYING THE ELBOW GREASE ON HIS ARMOURY. IT'S QUITE A LEARNING CURVE. THEY'RE NOT BEING ATTACKED BY THE ENEMY, BUT THEY MUSTN'T GET BORED AND THEY MUST LOVE WHAT THEY'RE DOING. HE'S MET ONE LONG-HAIRED POTENTIAL POLISHER ALREADY, BUT MAKING HER WAY ACROSS THE COURTYARD IS HELENA DICKINSON, 24 YEARS YOUNG, TERRIBLY PRETTY, AND STUDYING TO BE AN OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST AT NEWCASTLE UNIVERSITY. AT SCHOOL, I'VE FAILED HISTORY, SO LET'S HOPE SIR HUMPHRY DOESN'T QUIZ ME WITH SOME HISTORICAL QUESTIONS. HELLO. GOOD TO SEE YOU. I'M HELENA. GOOD. SIT DOWN AND WE'LL SNAP OUT A FEW QUESTIONS AT YOU. MY PLAN OF ATTACK TO GET THE JOB IS TO SMILE SWEETLY. YOU LIKE USING YOUR HANDS? WE WERE BORN WITH THEM, SO MIGHT AS WELL PUT THEM TO GOOD USE. LOTS OF PEOPLE BORN WITH THEM SIT ON THEM. ABSOLUTELY. I MEAN, GETTING YOUR HANDS DIRTY, THAT'S FINE, IS IT? YEP. I'M USED TO POLISHING THE FIREPLACE WHEN I WAS LITTLE TO HELPING WITH PLUMBING. DO YOU LIKE HISTORY? HISTORY WAS NEVER REALLY MY CUP OF TEA. YOU CAN LEARN HISTORY FROM A BOOK IF YOU WANT, BUT YOU LEARN HISTORY FROM LIVING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS. OF COURSE, NOW SIR HUMPHRY WANTS TO SEE HELENA'S FAIR HANDS AT WORK. I'M NERVOUS NOW. YES, WELL, YOU'RE BOUND TO BE. YOU SHOULD BE TOO. UM, BETTER PUT THE TOP ON THAT IN CASE IT SPILLS THEREABOUTS. I CAN BE QUITE CLUMSY, SO THAT'S A GOOD POINT. THE SWORD YOU'RE WORKING ON NOW, IT'S AN EXECUTIONERS SWORD, I WAS GOING TO SAY. OH, THANK YOU. HELENA'S BEAUTIFUL. SHE'S SO VERY PRETTY. YOU HAVE HER WORKING AWAY IN A ROOM AND YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THERE'LL BE HOARDS OF PEOPLE AROUND HER. BUT NO, SHE'S A CHARMING GIRL. COULD DO THE JOB VERY WELL INDEED. THE FINAL CANDIDATE ACROSS THE BATTLEMENT IS AMANDA CROSSMAN. SINCE HER FATHER USED TO TEND TO THE ESTATE'S LIVESTOCK, SHE ALREADY HAS ONE FOOT IN THE CASTLE'S DOOR. WELL, WELL, WELL. (CHUCKLES) SIT DOWN HERE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'M RATHER NERVOUS ABOUT THIS INTERVIEW, TO BE HONEST. THIS IS THE FIRST INTERVIEW I'VE HAD IN ABOUT 10 YEARS. YOUR PARENTS HAVE BEEN GREAT FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME AND YOUR WONDERFUL FATHER WAS MARVELLOUS, SO YOU'RE WELCOME HERE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. CLEANING THINGS YOU'RE HAPPY WITH? YEAH. I DID SOME RESEARCH, AND THE SQUIRES OF THE NIGHTS, THEY HAD TO CLEAN THE ARMOUR. THEY USED A MIXTURE OF SAND AND URINE TO CLEAN THE ARMOUR. YES. AND I THOUGHT AT THAT. I THOUGHT, 'HOW TRADITIONAL ARE WE GOING WITH THE CLEANING OF THE ARMOUR?' IT'S VERY INTERESTING, COS THE PEE BIT, I'M NOT SURE ABOUT, BUT THE SAND WOULD BE A BIT ABRASIVE FOR WHAT WE'RE HAVING. UM, NO, YOU'RE SAFE THERE. THANK GOODNESS, YES. (CHUCKLES) THEY MIGHT BE GETTING ON LIKE A MANOR HOUSE ON FIRE, BUT SIR HUMPHRY'S NOT ONE TO LOSE FOCUS, SO HE PUTS AMANDA TO THE TEST ` POLISHING. NO, I THINK THAT'S COMING ON VERY WELL. AND CLIMBING. DOES THAT LOOK RIGHT? YES, IT LOOKS RIGHT. LOOKS VERY GOOD. YEAH, WELL, THE JOB WOULD BE A CHALLENGE. WANT TO SEE HOW` WHAT I CAN DO. SIR HUMPHRY HAS NOW HAD THE MEASURE OF ALL THE APPLICANTS. THE POSITION COULD BE FILLED BY MORNING. BUT AS ANY BARONET WORTH HIS SWORD KNOWS, IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT HIM. THE ONE LESSON I'VE LEARNT IS DON'T THINK 'WHAT WOULD BE NICE FOR HUMPHRY WAKEFIELD TO HAVE,' UM, 'TO CHAT TO?' THINK 'WHAT CHILLINGHAM CASTLE WOULD LIKE BEST'. POIGNANT CLASSICAL MUSIC THROUGHOUT THE DAY, ONE'S NEWSPAPER CAN BECOME THUMBED, CRUMPLED AND CREASED, OFTEN DEPENDING ON WHAT WAS WRITTEN AND HOW MUCH THE READER AGREES WITH IT. IT MAY BE NECESSARY FOR ONE TO REVIVE THE BROAD SHEET. PROTECT THE PANTRY TABLE... AND SWITCH THE IRON TO ITS LOWEST SETTING. PRESS THE FRONT PAGE, WORKING FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, THEN TURN OVER. THERE IS NO NEED TO IRON THE INTERVENING PAGES, AS THE HEAT WILL HAVE ALREADY PRESSED THEM. FOLD THE PAPER INTO THREE SO ONLY THE TITLE AND THE MAIN HEADLINE ARE VISIBLE. THEN RETURN TO THE DRAWING ROOM. BIRDS CHIRP AT PROVENDER HOUSE IN KENT, FORMER DEBUTANT PRINCESS OLGA ROMANOV IS LOOKING FOR A BOY. SHE'S IN NEED OF A GARDEN HELPER AND HAS TWO ON TRIAL TODAY. WHOEVER GETS THE JOB WILL HAVE TO GET ON IN THE GARDEN AND WITH HER HIGHNESS. I LOVE THE WAY THAT THE, UH, BEES AND THINGS ARE FLYING AROUND. SUZANNE STEVENS DOESN'T MEET THE DESCRIPTION, BUT SHE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD SORT. SHAUN, CAN I INTRODUCE TO YOU SUZANNA? SUZANNE, SORRY. OLGA. HELLO THERE. SUZANNE. HELLO, SHAUN. NICE TO MEET YOU. WELL, WE NEED TO SET SUZANNE A LITTLE TASK. RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE NICE FOR HER TO DO WHICH YOU CAN THEN`? WELL, I MEAN, A BIT OF AN EDGE WHICH NEEDS DOING ALONG, COS ONCE YOU GET THE HEDGE DONE, YOUR EYE GOES TO THE EDGE. FIRST OF ALL, GO ALONG LIKE THAT, AND THEN I JUST RECIPROCATE SO YOU CAN EYE IT RIGHT DOWN HERE. OK. LOVELY SPADE. IT'S OBVIOUSLY YOUR SPADE. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING SO SMART. YES, OLGA. I` I` YES. OK. WHILE SUZANNE ATTEMPTS TO PROVE THAT SHE'S THE MAN FOR THE JOB, SHAUN ADJUSTS TO LIFE WITH A WORK MATE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT? IN ALL THESE YEARS, I'VE NEVER DONE THIS WATCHING SOMEBODY WORKING ON IT. I FEEL AWKWARD. I'M SURE THERE'S NO REASON WHY YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING AS WELL. WELL, I COULD, I SUPPOSE. I'LL GO AND GET THE FORE. HE'D ALREADY SAID TO ME EARLIER THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO LEND HIS TOOLS TO ANYONE BECAUSE IT WAS` BUT GARDENERS DIDN'T DO THAT. AND THERE HE IS NOT ONLY HELPING HER; HE'S ALSO LENT HIS SPECIAL SPADE THING FOR THE EDGING. ALSO ARRIVING TO SHOW HIS BEST IS RHYS HERBERT, BUT HE'S JUST STUMBLED ACROSS A STICKING POINT. GATE CREAKS DOG YAPS SHUT UP! JUST WONDERING IF I COULD HAVE A WORD. TELL ME WHAT IT IS. UM, WELL, I WAS UP AT THE FRONT AND I SAW A STICKER ON YOUR CAR THAT SAYS 'KEEP HUNTING'. YES. I WAS WONDERING WHAT YOUR VIEWS WERE ABOUT THAT. WHY DO YOU THINK I HAVE A STICKER SAYING 'KEEP HUNTING'? YES, WELL, I DIDN'T WANNA ASSUME ANYTHING JUST IN CASE IT WAS... I HUNT. YEAH. YEAH. SO` AND I THINK YOU MIGHT BE ANTI. YES. YEAH. I HUNT, I SHOOT, AND WE HAVE THE SHOOTING LUNCHES HERE. YES, AND MOST OF MY FRIENDS HUNT TOO. OK. SO THAT KIND OF, I GUESS, WILL MEAN THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO WORK FOR ME. NO. IT'S` IT'S NOT SOMETHING I AGREE WITH... PRINCIPLE. OK. WELL, FAIR ENOUGH. AND I DON'T THINK I COULD WORK HERE KNOWING THAT YOU DID THAT. SO IT'S GOOD OF YOU TO TELL ME ANYWAY. YEAH, WELL, I'M GLAD I SAW IT NOW. I COULD HAVE LIED ABOUT THE CAR, BUT THAT WOULD BE POINTLESS BECAUSE I'M QUITE PROUD OF IT, SO... EACH TO THEIR OWN. I'VE GOT MY OPINIONS TOO, SO... YEAH, GREAT. I'LL HAVE TO REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE CANDIDACY, I'M AFRAID. ALL RIGHT. WELL, THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME. ANYWAY, GOODBYE. THANK YOU. THANKS. GATE CREAKS I WOULDN'T WANT SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY FELT THAT STRONGLY ABOUT IT. I DON'T MIND SOMEONE WITH A FEW VIEWS THAT THINK THAT, BUT IT'S USUALLY PEOPLE THAT KNOW ABSOLUTELY JACK ABOUT THE COUNTRYSIDE, AND, UH, NO. THERE'S NO WAY I COULD SET MY PRINCIPLES ASIDE FOR SOME MONEY. IT'S` IT'S NOT SOMETHING I COULD DO. WILDLIFE AND NATURE IS SOMETHING I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT, AND I JUST CAN'T WORK FOR A PERSON WHO AGREES WITH SUCH AN ABHORRENT THING. WITH RHYS OUT OF THE RUNNING, SUZANNE IS THE ONLY CANDIDATE LEFT. BUT SHE'S TAKING NOTHING FOR GRANTED. WELL, I HOPE SHE HASN'T GOT ANYBODY IN RESERVE, COS I'D REALLY REALLY LIKE THE JOB. IT'S JUST EXACTLY WHAT I WANT. I COULD SPEND ALL WEEK HERE. THERE'S LOTS TO DO. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SUZANNE? FANTASTIC. VERY IMPRESSED. SHE'S DOING ALL RIGHT, YES. SHE SEEMS REALLY EFFICIENT AND NICE. YES. AND YOU THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA IF I OFFERED HER THE JOB? DEFINITELY. DEFINITELY. GREAT. OK, GOOD-O. GOOD. SUZANNE HAS PROVED HER WORTH IN SPADES. BUT PRINCESS OLGA WANTS TO DO SOME DIGGING OF HER OWN TO MAKE SURE SHE'S THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB. UM, SUZANNA, DO YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH HUNTING AND SHOOTING? NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH IT. I USED TO LOVE WATCHING THE HUNT COME BY. IN FACT, THE DOGS USED TO COME INTO THE GARDEN AND, UH, HAVE A GOOD OLD RUMMAGE AROUND BEFORE THEY WOULD GO BACK TO THE HUNT. THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE` IT'S HUNTING COUNTRY. IT IS. IT IS HUNTING COUNTRY. SO WOULD YOU BE PREPARED, IF I OFFERED YOU THE JOB? WOULD YOU LIKE TO WORK HERE? I'D LOVE TO. WOULD YOU? I REALLY REALLY WOULD. OH FANTASTIC! YOU'RE HIRED. OOH, THANK YOU! THAT'S GREAT. (LAUGHS) THANK YOU. BRILLIANT. WOW, REALLY PLEASED. I COULD SEE MYSELF STAYING HERE FOR A LONG LONG TIME. AND, UH, JUST HELPING TO KEEP IT SO BEAUTIFUL. I DON'T THINK SHE'D BE ABLE TO CHOP THE LOGS AND CUT THEM UP AND ALL THAT, BUT I CAN STILL GET SHAUN TO DO THAT BECAUSE HE LOVES IT. BUZZ! POIGNANT MUSIC IN CENTRAL LONDON, SOCIALITE LADY COLIN CAMPBELL IS HOLDING A SUPPER PARTY FOR SEVEN OF HER FRIENDS. EVERYBODY, WHERE'S MY GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE? I PUT IT DOWN SOMEWHERE. LAUGHTER ATTENDING TO THE GUESTS ARE FORMER ROYAL BUTLER GRANT HAROLD,... CHEF ROBERT KENNEDY... AND FIRST-TIME BUTLER CRAIG RIPLEY. EVERYBODY IN LIFE NEEDS TO REMEMBER WHAT THEIR ROLE IN LIFE IS. THEY'RE THERE TO SERVE. AND I'M THERE TO BE A HOSTESS. THE DUTY OF ANNOUNCING THE FIRST COURSE TO THE PARTY FALLS TO THE NOVICE. GLASS CLINKS THE STARTER IS BAKED COD WITH COCONUT AND PICKLES. BUT WITH ALL GOOD DINNER PARTIES, THE FOOD SHOULD PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO THE CONVERSATION. SO BARON BURCA INTRODUCES THE TINY TOPIC OF HOW SO-CALLED NEW MONEY HANDLE THEIR STAFF. PEOPLE FIND THAT IN NOUVEAU RICHE HOMES, THEY GENERALLY TREAT THEIR STAFF NOT VERY WELL. I'VE SEEN IT. I MEAN, I'VE BEEN AT DINNER WITH PEOPLE WHERE I ABSOLUTELY WANTED TO CRAWL UNDER THE TABLE. THEIR WHOLE GAME'S 'OH, LOOK HOW IMPORTANT I AM.' CLICKING THEIR FINGERS AND SHOUTING AT THE STAFF. I FIND PEOPLE WHO COME FROM GOOD FAMILIES, THE BETTER EDUCATED THE EMPLOYER, THE MORE HE IS CONSIDERATE TO HIS` TO HIS STAFF. BELOW STAIRS, LADY COLIN'S HELP ARE BUSY TRYING TO WIN OVER HER GUESTS' AFFECTIONS. SPRING LAMB WITH BUTTERNUT PUREE, OK? AN INTEGRAL PART OF CIVILISED LIVING IS EVERYBODY DRIFTS ALONG AS IF THEY'RE A SWAN WHILE THEY'RE BUSY PADDLING ON THE WATER. INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ALWAYS ARMED WITH A GOOD YARN, LADY COLIN'S PUBLISHER DAVID HORNSBY HAS HIS OWN STORIES ON STAFF OF THE LESS LOYAL VARIETY. I REMEMBER WE HAD A COOK WHO DEFINITELY HAD A REVOLVER. THERE WAS THE NANNY WHO STOLE THE BISCUITS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, SO MY FATHER HAD TO COME AND SLEEP IN MY BED TO CATCH HER. LAUGHTER TALKING ABOUT THEFT, THE TRICK THAT STAFF ALWAYS DO, AND IT SEEMS TO BE UNIFORM, IS THEY HIRE THE ITEM THAT THEY EVENTUALLY WANT TO STEAL, AND IF NO ONE HAS MADE ANY COMMENTS ABOUT IT FOR ABOUT SIX MONTHS, THEY` THEN THEY THINK IT'S SAFE AND THEY'LL TAKE IT AWAY. YEAH, IT'S QUITE` IT'S GOOD TO BE DISCREET, BUT YEAH, IT'S QUITE GOOD FUN. INTERESTING CONVERSATIONS DOWNSTAIRS AS WELL. DISCRETION IS VERY IMPORTANT WITH ANYBODY WHO IS GOING TO BE SERVING. AND IN FACT, I ALWAYS, WITH MY NEWER STAFF, HAVE CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENTS BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T BE TOO SURE. SO ONE OF THE CHILDREN'S NANNIES, SHE RUN UP A �2000 PHONE BILL! LAUGHTER I HAD A` A` A WOMAN WHO WAS HELPING IN THE HOUSE, AND SHE ARRIVED WITH A SUITCASE. WHEN SHE LEFT, SHE LEFT IN A VAN. LAUGHTER PUDDING IS SERVED, ACCOMPANIED BY A ROUND OF COMPLIMENTS FOR THE GREAT BRITISH BUTLER. I'VE NEVER MET A RUDE BUTLER, WHEN I STOP TO THINK OF IT. UH, A BUTLER SHOULD BE WHAT A GENTLEMAN SHOULD BE. UH, A BUTLER SHOULD BE EMOTIONALLY ON THE SAME LEVEL ` IN OTHER WORDS, KIND AND CONSIDERATE, WHICH IS WHAT A GENTLEMAN SHOULD BE. AND REFINED AND COURTEOUS. YES. YOUNG NOVICE CRAIG MIGHT NOT BE THE FINISHED ARTICLE, BUT HE'S CERTAINLY PASSED MUSTER TONIGHT. I THOUGHT YOU'VE DONE REALLY WELL, CRAIG. I WAS IMPRESSED. MATE, YOU KEPT IT CALM AND YOU WERE JUST NATURAL. WELL DONE, MATE. YEAH, CHEERS. CRAIG'S DONE A FANTASTIC JOB. AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN A SUCCESS, A DEFINITE SUCCESS. AND YOU KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK AT LADY COLIN SMILING AND ENJOYING HERSELF, AND THAT'S THE SECRET. (LAUGHS) FOR THE HOSTESS, IT'S ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL SOIREE AND STAFFING APPOINTMENT. I COULDN'T HAVE CHOSEN BETTER IF I SAY SO MYSELF. CRAIG IS AN ABSOLUTE SWEETIE PIE. KISSY KISSY, BOO BOOS. OH, BYE-BYE. I'M IN A GOOD MOOD. I FEEL 37. CURIOUS MUSIC THE GRASS MAY OCCASIONALLY BE GREENER, BUT THE GARDENER STILL HAS TO MOW IT, PREFERABLY WITH STRIPES WORTHY OF A SAVILE ROW TAILOR. THE FIRST INCISION DICTATES ALL THE OTHERS, SO UNLESS ONE WANTS A LAWN THAT RESEMBLES AN 8-YEAR-OLD 'S HOMEWORK, USE A RULER TO PLOT THE COURSE. CHOOSE AN OBJECT IN THE DISTANCE AND FIX UPON IT. START THE ENGINE. WHIRRING AND WALK THE LINE IN A HORTICULTURAL TANGO. TURN TIGHTLY. STRAIGHTEN UP, EYES FIXED ON THE LINE, AND STRIDE ON. FINALLY, CIRCLE THE EDGE. EH, VOILA! A LAWN WORTHY OF CENTRE COURT. IN NORTHUMBERLAND, SIR HUMPHRY WAKEFIELD IS ON THE VERGE OF EMPLOYING A SUITABLE SQUIRE OR SQUIRESS TO TEND TO HIS WEAPONRY. HAVING SEEN ALL CANDIDATES, HE'S HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN NEW BLOOD OR FAMILY TIES. I'M HUGELY HAPPY WITH MY CHOICE. I FEEL I'VE GOT A VERY NOBLE ALLY IN THE GREAT FIGHT AGAINST THE ELEMENTS. RIGHT ATTITUDE, RIGHT APPLICATION, UM, LOOKS RIGHT. THE ASPIRING POLISHERS ARE ALL AWAITING THE NEWS VIA SIR HUMPHRY'S PEN, INCLUDING HOUSEWIFE AMANDA CROSSMAN, WHOSE FATHER WAS ONCE WARDEN OF THE WILD CATTLE AT CHILLINGHAM. READS: MY DEAR AMANDA. YOUR PARENTS HAVE BEEN SUCH A GREAT AND COLOURFUL STRENGTH IN MY LIFE THAT IT WOULD BE A PLEASURE FOR ALL TO SEE YOU HERE AT CHILLINGHAM. IF YOU WANT IT, THE JOB IS YOURS FOR THE ASKING. FABULOUS. YAY! (LAUGHS) OH, HE'S SO NICE. IF I WANT IT, I CAN HAVE IT. YEAH, I'LL HAVE THE JOB. YES, PLEASE! (LAUGHS) THANK YOU! IT'S AMANDA'S FIRST DAY. AMANDA, WELCOME HERE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. REALLY PLEASED THAT YOU'RE HERE. SUITS ME VERY WELL INDEED. BUT SIR HUMPHRY ISN'T MAKING ALLOWANCES FOR LOYALTY. INSTEAD, HE HAS LINED UP AN ELEPHANTINE TASK. AND NOW THE ACID TEST. WE'VE GOT THE SCAFFOLDING HERE TO ATTACK THE ELEPHANT'S FACE. THIS 19TH CENTURY INDIAN ELEPHANT ARMOUR IS MADE UP OF COUNTLESS BRASS PLATES, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF WHICH WILL REQUIRE AMANDA'S LOVE AND CARE. YEAH, I'M GONNA BE HERE FOR A LONG TIME. (LAUGHS) IT SEEMS A BIT DAUNTING AT THE MINUTE. I DON'T KNOW. HOW LONG DID IT TAKE ME TO DO THAT BIT? (LAUGHS) ONCE THAT'S UP TO STANDARD, THERE ARE ANOTHER 1999 PIECES OF WEAPONRY ALSO IN NEED OF A GOOD BUFFING, MEANING AMANDA'S FAMILY BLOODLINE IS ASSURED OF A ROLE AT CHILLINGHAM FOR SOME TIME TO COME. CHILLINGHAM CASTLE IS RATHER LIKE A COLLECTION OF SAUCERS SITTING ON TOP OF STICKS, YOU KNOW ` YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP 'EM ALL SPINNING. AND I THINK IN THIS CASE, AMANDA'S THE ONE TO KEEP THAT SAUCER GOING. I HOPE AND THINK, ALWAYS WATCHFUL.