(HUMS) 9000; 10,000. Oh. I've just always felt like I'm gonna be a father, and I've always looked forward to it. And I just think it's just meant to be. QUIRKY MUSIC The dream of having a child seems the most natural thing in the world. But infertility affects nearly one in four couples at some stage in their lives. We're secure in our jobs. We're making friends, we're sort of settled... OK, now it's time to start trying towards having a baby. I thought we would be pregnant by Christmas. It never occurred to me that it would be a problem; everything would all go to plan, but, no, it hasn't. (LAUGHS) For many, the realisation that there is a problem is the beginning of a journey filled with hope,... So neither of those tubes are blocked. < That's good. ...a journey that's never comfortable... We're committed now. Let's go for it, eh? Yeah. > OK. ...and more often ends in failure than success. (EXHALES) But eight couples struggling with infertility have allowed us to follow their stories over the last two years. And this week, the McCabes, the Hills, the Porters and the Rudges are starting off on a road they hope will lead to the ultimate success ` a healthy child. So I have one embryo for Michelle Rudge. If we don't start now, we're going to miss out on it, and we just don't wanna miss out on it, you know? QUIRKY MUSIC My name is Ben, and I'm a 37-year-old groundskeeper at a high school. And I always thought that by the time I was 30, I'd be already married, I've have kids, and my life would be well underway. I'm Michelle. I'm 41, and I have thought that by age 24, I'd be married, by 26 I'd have at least one child. As it is, we didn't get married until I was 34, and I'm 41 now. We met at a church, (CHUCKLES) through a friend of a friend. We got engaged, and then six weeks later, we were married. So it was a` it was really fast. We just decided, 'Look, let's get on with this.' Being Maori, of course, as you can imagine, uh, we have very large extended families, so my dad comes from a family of 14 children, and my mum comes from a family of nine children. So there's plenty of aunties and uncles, plenty of cousins to play with. And with that extended family all around me, I know what it's like to have that wonderful family feeling. And I would` I would love to` for any children that we bring into this world to have that feeling as well. I've just always felt like I'm going to be a father, and I've always looked forward to it. And` And I've seen Michelle with kids, and she's just` she just adores babies and kids, and she's just gonna be a great mum. It's just getting to that point where it's either now or never. If we don't, you know, start now, we're gonna miss out on it, and we just don't wanna miss out on it, you know? But for Ben and Michelle, fulfilling their desire to have children is going to be far from easy, because Michelle's severe endometriosis means in vitro fertilisation, IVF, is their only chance of having a baby. My eggs and Ben's sperm have never even been close. Because of the endometriosis, they've never even gotten close. Well, here in a petri dish, there will be conception. BRIGHT MUSIC My priority is to lose some weight and to get as healthy as I can ` cut down on coffee, cut down on alcohol. Just do those things that get me as physically ready as I can be, and even for Ben, cut down the coffee, cut down the alcohol. Well, actually, she said no alcohol, didn't she? I` I didn't hear that` I don't think we heard that correct. Yeah. (LAUGHS) Um... I think we're still a little bit in denial about IVF, because it doesn't seem real yet. But we've been to our orientation appointment, but none of the injections have started, none of the scans. For me it still seems surreal that we could actually get that far. It's made us really think hard about 'do we really want this?' Because there is a lot that you have to go through now in order to have children. It's not gonna be a mistake; it's not going to be natural, so we have really had to search whether children is what we want in our lives. And to come this far and realise we have to work hard at it, but, yeah, it is actually want we want. And so we will do what we can and leave the rest up to God. The beauty of my family, though, is that if we do have a baby this time next year, we know who the babysitters are. (LAUGHS) There is no doubt about that. They... Yeah, in my family, babies are welcomed and treasured and` well, usually lost to some auntie somewhere. (CHUCKLES) EASY-GOING MUSIC TERESA: We both work for Briscoes Group. I was in one store, and he was in the next store. And, yeah, we were friends for quite a long time. And I got pregnant ` not to Dave, obviously. And I was single and pregnant, so I guess that... like if` Yeah, it was quite` It was pretty difficult, actually, yeah, being alone and pregnant. Dave was at the hospital, um, the day that Kingston was born. I was one of those annoying visitors. BOTH LAUGH Yeah. Yes, he was. It's just that overjoy of seeing a mother with her newborn. Once we had our first kiss, it was, like, 'Yep, over.' (CHUCKLES) There was about three or four weeks leading into that where there was the awkward 'do I kiss her now or does she kiss me?' And then when it finally did, we knew for certain that what's gonna be was gonna be. Teresa and David got married five years ago. And less than a year later, they were trying to have a baby. I was so excited, like, super optimistic, like, just absolutely buzzing. I thought we would be pregnant by Christmas. And then month after month goes past. Six months in, yeah, we just had a feeling, I think, um... That bit of a nag in the back of your mind that says it should have happened by now. Mm. I think that voice in the head had always been saying that it was me as opposed to Teresa, with having her already had a child. And I just didn't realise how bad it was. You know, even though we thought, 'OK, there might be a an issue,' we` the worst case scenario was always going to be a low sperm count. We'd` you know, we'd googled, and we're, like, 'Oh,' you know, 'we can work with that. 'Low sperm count ` that's, you know...' Never ever did it occur that it would be zero. The big thing that stands out was them saying zero. Just coming through and saying, you know, 'Test has come back, and it's shown a zero sperm count.' From then on, it was pretty much a blur, and you're just practically trying to hold it together and nod your way through and say, 'Yep, you've given me that now, and I need to go and deal with this.' We pretty much just walked out to the car and sat in there and cried. From there, I think we went round to Mum's` Your mum's. ...and that was` That was the hardest. Yeah. (CHUCKLES MIRTHLESSLY) I'm still getting it now, um, just remembering it. (SNIFFLES) In our journey to have a baby, obviously it's me that's the stumbling block. And then to go and tell, you know, a potential grandmother that... (EXHALES SHAKILY) She didn't even actually know that we, um, were trying at that point, so... We walked up her` We got out of the car, walked up, and I think as soon as Dave saw her, he just broke down in her arms. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) And she didn't know what the hell was going on. She was just like, 'Are you OK?' Like, 'Is everybody safe?' Like, 'What's happening here?' So, yeah, it was` it was pretty rough for her too. Quite a big blow. And that was when` when we'd made the decision to go and find help. GENTLE PIANO MUSIC Once we sat down with Fertility Associates, and he said` he, you know, pretty much told Dave to drop his pants so he could cop a feel. (LAUGHS) The exact words, actually. Yeah. (LAUGHS) And he, yeah, felt around and, you know, said, 'Oh, this is probably what it is.' He's had some hormone tests done, which suggests that he's actually producing sperm. And we've also done a blood test looking for a particular genetic problem. So some men are carriers of cystic fibrosis, and although they don't have that condition themselves, if you're a carrier of that particular gene, it can sometimes lead to the vas, which is the pipe that connects the testis to the rest of the ejaculatory system, that might not develop properly. So they're making sperm, but there's nowhere for it to go. That did mean we still had options to` to go through with. Yes! And that involves... a needle, um, and testicles. Um, put the two together. There is still the chance that when they` they go in to take some, that there either isn't any there or they're not of a quality, um, enough to be able to provide us with a` with a child. At that point we either discuss donor or we go to Disneyland, pretty much. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, it's been on the cards, and` Enjoy what could be, yeah. ...enjoy the enjoy the family we've currently got. We're super duper lucky with what we do have. Um, he's an amazing child, so... (YELLS HAPPILY) Great little human being. So we're doing well on that side of things, anyway. Um, so if we can't expand, then we can't. 1 GENTLE MUSIC It was never a discussion. It was never, 'Oh, we're gonna get married here,' and, 'Oh, we're going to have kids a year later,' or anything like that. It was just` From day one, it was just what was going to happen, the natural progression of where things were gonna go. We actually met online and chatted for ages online before we actually met. Yeah. Cos she was in Dunedin. Yep. Um, working in Dunedin. So we were just talking online for ages. Um, and then we met, and you, sort of, didn't go back. BOTH LAUGH Yeah, I was supposed to` I came up on holiday to spend a little bit of time with my family, and I thought, 'I'll meet up with Mel while I'm here.' The plan was to go back to Dunedin. And, yeah, I didn't go back. I was, um, married to Liam's father. I was, sort of, going through the motions of, you know, what you're supposed to do, what everyone else around me was doing. So, yeah, got married and had a baby the traditional way. But, yeah. It ended with him not long after Liam was born. (TAPS) Right, what we need to do is we actually need to wrap it in some GLAD wrap. It was important to me to make sure that, you know, anybody I had a relationship with also was going to be a positive influence on Liam. Um, she also comes from a teaching background and, sort of, gets on well with all children, really, so it was never an issue. Now I think they have quite a few shared interests in the field of science-y things as well. So that's quite good for him, cos I'm not probably so into that. He probably knows more about the process of making babies than a lot of kids his age, because he's` he's a naturally inquisitive kid, so he asks a lot of questions. And we're the` We just, sort of, answer his questions. When we said we were going to` we were wanting to have a baby, he said, 'Well, you need a dad.' So we just started off by telling him that we were going to the doctor's and at the doctor's they would help us to find a man who was going to give us the bit that we needed to help make the baby. Those look good. Well done. Leah and Mel are currently trying to have a child using a home-based sperm donor. But their first attempt at intrauterine insemination had been through Fertility Associates. We did one round of IUI and then got the call that, um, we hadn't been successful. So that was a bit of a blow. It sort of happened at a time when we were needing to reorganise our finances and reprioritise things, and unfortunately fertility treatment didn't make the cut. Um, so we decided to find a donor privately and go down that way. When we went through the clinic, we saw some really interesting profiles. Um, because I asked, 'Why are you donating?' And we had one` one on the pile who said that he was donating because his wife said he had brilliant genetic material and felt that he should share that with the world. (CHUCKLES) So he very quickly didn't make the cut, and we picked someone who was donating because they wanted to help. We used the same criteria when we were finding a donor ourselves. Natural insemination. No thank you. Next. (CHUCKLES) First time that we used the donor, it was really awkward,... because he was a complete stranger. We didn't know him from a bar of soap. He turns up, we have a` have a quick chat, you know, exchange of pleasantries, 'How are you doing? How have you been?' Um, hand him a plastic cup. He disappears into our bathroom, comes out, you know, 10 minutes later or whatever, um, hand that over, give him his petrol money on his way out, and I go into` obviously into our bedroom with` and use a syringe and, yeah. That's pretty much the process. Quick and easy and lay down for half an hour and cross your fingers. So we're up to about 18 months of no luck. I've, um, had blood tests, and I've had a couple of physical exams. And at this point they can't actually find anything, um, physically wrong with me. Um, nothing that can explain why we're having trouble. GENTLE MUSIC It's the day after our last pregnancy test on our last attempt, which was negative. And it's all getting a bit negative. Um, (SIGHS) I just... I don't know. I don't know why it's not happening. And (SIGHS) I just... (SIGHS) It's hard to stay positive when it's just` there's nothing` feels like there's no hope. GENTLE MUSIC Today is our surgical sperm retrieval. Um, so very shortly we will be heading into Fertility Associates, where then they'll be needling into either the testicles or, um, the vas and trying to extract some sperm. Um, feeling a little bit apprehensive, a little bit nervous. It's not the` mucking around my goolies isn't the most pleasant of feelings, so, um, it's the means to the end, so... We'll grit the teeth and carry on through. There is still the chance that when they go in to take some, um, that there either isn't any there or they're not of a quality enough to be able to provide us with a child. So that's a bit all wait-and-see. All right. Dave, we'll just examine you, mate, and we'll just see if we can plan our mode of attack here. You all right there? Yep. We're gonna anaesthetise the scrotal area, and you can kind of take the edge of, but he'll still be a little bit uncomfortable, unfortunately. But it's quite a quick procedure once we're underway. And we'll start trying to get some tissue or some fluid, in fact, from an area just above the testis. We'll have a look for sperm there. If that's not showing any moving sperm, then we may need to go closer to the production factory, if you like, to the testis itself. < Gonna find us some moving ones. Now, don't be surprised that you still feel movement and touch. That's quite normal. You'll probably feel a little bit of an achy feeling up in the abdomen at this stage. Count back from five. (EXHALES) < Four. < We'll just do this once so that we hopefully never have to do it again. (EXHALES) OK, just coming out now. Keep that on. All right, my friend, well done. < WOMAN: Well done, David. < So that's good news ` there's plenty of sperm there. < But where we've taken it from, that sperm is potentially old sperm. < And so although it may wake up later, we might be better to take a sample from the testis itself, where that's the factory. We're in with both feet, aren't we, so we're committed now. Let's go for it, eh? Yep. OK, mate. < WOMAN: You're being very brave, David. I'll get a lollipop at the end, eh? (LAUGHS) < Yep. < We'll make you a little butterfly out of popcorn. < It's always good to hear that there's sperm being made. < You know, we have some guys where they have a zero sperm count, < we go to do this and there's no sperm here. So, um, we're gonna get there. Libby's just having a closer look at that sample, cos it's solid tissue that she has to tease apart. Still hasn't seen any wriggling yet, but it often takes a lot longer to` to see that. I've found three twitching sperm. Oh, that's good. Oh, and a wriggler. I think we should be OK. Yep, there's one that's moving a lot more. That's it. We're done. Got sperm. No more? Nope. No, these guys are happy. < Good effort. Well done. One of the predictors of success with fertility treatment is the age of the woman going through. Teresa's in her mid-20s. She's got proven fertility. The next step for them will be harvesting her eggs, thawing out the sperm that we've retrieved today and then subsequently injecting those sperm into the eggs. So that's going to overcome a whole lot of barriers to start with. We'll then have the opportunity to look at the embryos that develop from those fertilised eggs and pick the best quality embryo to go back. Pretty technicolour down there. It's come up like a rainbow. Um, in terms of the pain itself, well... Obviously doctors always understate what it's gonna be. Um, I thought it was going to be like the dentist, where you` your first local injection's gonna be the worst part and then you don't feel a heck of a lot after that. Um, not the case. 1 UPBEAT MUSIC Hi. Michelle Rudge. We're here at Fertility PLUS to learn about injections ` how to give me injections. Uh, and as Ben says, I need to learn how to revive him as well (CHUCKLES) if he's the one that has to give me injection. I'm feeling pretty nervous at the moment, because, um, it's all starting to feel real, you know? It's all starting to happen. Maybe one of the things I'm most nervous about is getting pregnant, learning to love something that's growing and then losing it. Yeah, that's` that's the thing that, I suppose, scares me the most. Because I'm older, there is more chances of complications or, you know, genetic issues. So, yes, that's a concern, and actually it freaks us out, but it's not enough to stop us. I'm terrified of having babies. (LAUGHS) I want all the good parts of it, but I'm terrified of all the responsibility. Hi. Michelle and Ben, is it? Yes. Hi. My name's Sue. Come on this way. Hi. 'The purpose of the medication teach is that they come in often quite nervous and anxious, 'and, uh, we want them to be leaving so that they are fully confident and comfortable 'about doing the injections.' So, um, I've got all of your drugs here. > It does look like quite a lot, but it's a lot of packaging around with this, OK? OK. Great. So these are the needles that you use with this first drug called buserelin, all right? OK. So, with this injection, we get you to take it and to place it into your tummy. You pinch the skin together, and you just simply put the needle in at 90 degrees. And you just then put the 20 units in. OK. OK? The purpose of buserelin is to actually turn your ovaries off, to downregulate you ` that's what we call it. And basically what that means is that your ovaries are` are switched off, your` your follicles, everything is down low, your oestrogen level is low. That's what we want before we get the next injection to actually boost and grow your follicles. You'd be doing the injections yourself, Michelle? Yeah, probably. (LAUGHS) You will? Yes? OK. Good. So just a couple of things to note. Um, the side effects that you could experience would be maybe a bit of headache and nausea, maybe a bit of fullness around your middle` OK. ...just as your follicles are growing. And maybe some mood changes, just because it is a manipulation of your hormones. OK, but they're pretty good, the drugs these days. And, uh, now, is there any part of that that you want to have a go at to sort of make sure that you feel you'd like to be sure? Yeah, I'd really like` This ` the buserelin ` like, getting it into the needle. Sure. Just draw that plunger down. And then pinch together. Yes. Although mine's a bit more jelly-like than this. (CHUCKLES) Ouch. The idea of injections, the egg collection and putting it back in ` they don't freak me out. I'm pretty nervous about having to see a needle go into her or stick one in, you know. QUIRKY MUSIC First time. OK, so, it's buserelin that I've gotta do today. (SIGHS) OK. Plenty to pinch. Oh man! OK. Oh, I so don't wanna do this! (SIGHS) OK, just do it. Oh, I don't wanna stick it in myself. Do you wanna do it? No. BOTH LAUGH It just seems crazy to poke yourself with that. Just make sure you keep it, you know` Yeah. Don't bend it on the way in. Yeah, but... Oh! That's weird. QUIRKY MUSIC You sure? Yeah. I will if you want. It` It just feels... It just feels weird to poke myself. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Yep. Oh... I can't do it. (LAUGHS) Oh shit. QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES Oh. That's all? Actually, it wasn't too bad. RELAXING MUSIC I'm now 31. I started this process with the` went to Fertility Associates when I was 28, which was a little bit sad. What else? 5th of May's a Monday. I start a new job. I was lined up to be working from home, but I was offered a position at a job that I really love, working with St John, which I'm really passionate about. I've been involved in St John since I was 8. And as soon as Liam turned 6, I marched him on down to the hall and said, 'Welcome to St John. This is what you're going to be doing. And get in there and enjoy it.' Um, which he did. Little bit after that, they needed an assistant divisional manager, so I applied and I took that on. They then needed another group leader, so I dragged Mel along. Um, and I'm now divisional manager, so it is` it's a big part of what we do. GENTLE MUSIC So I'm going in for an appointment at Fertility PLUS. I'm feeling a little bit nervous. Sort of been quite a while getting to this point. But, um, see what they have to say about` about my situation and what I need to be doing and maybe what steps we can follow through next. So your doctor has asked us to see you because you've been trying to get pregnant at home yourself, but obviously no success. No. No. That's why I'm here. Yeah. I think because you have been trying for quite a while at this point, this is probably a good time just to confirm that your fallopian tubes are normal before we move down to the next step of treatment. Yep. > OK. Simplest way is just to do a X-ray dye studies of your fallopian tube. It's called HSG. Um, now, because, as you probably know, told by your GP that your weight is a little bit higher than the public funding mark, so the HSG, you do need to pay privately. Is that OK? No, that's good. Um, if we weren't to carry on using the donor we're already using, if he doesn't want to be involved with all of the clinic side of things,... < Yes. Are we able to access a donor through the clinic? < Yes. So long as there is a sperm donor. Unfortunately, there is a shortage of sperm donors, so that could potentially be an issue. OK. Yeah. Thanks very much. OK. Cheers. Um, it was good. We've got some steps ` obviously I need to go and get my tubes checked ` that seems like a fairly logical step ` and once that's all done, I guess I have to have a conversation with our donor, if he's happy to be involved on an ongoing basis. So this is what's going to happen. Lose 10kg. Yes. Well, we sort of knew that. Yes. 5 IUIs. Yes. So to qualify for public funding, as a lesbian, we need to have had 12 unsuccessful IUIs. Six of those can be at home; six need to be through a clinic. How much are these each? About 750 each. Shall I be a maths teacher right now? (LAUGHS) It's a bit. But it's, you know, once a month. So we need five. We've already had one through a clinic, so we need to pay for five more. Oh. If we're still unsuccessful after those five, we can apply for public funding. UPBEAT MUSIC Moving to NZ wasn't an easy decision for me. Um, Justin grew up here, so he always spoke about how awesome his childhood was here, and he always wanted to come back. Growing up in NZ was great, because you never had to worry about anything as a kid. You could play in the streets. I mean, even if you got into trouble out there or you hurt yourself, you knew that people would come and help you. And it's not like that in South Africa. Doesn't matter if you're bleeding on the side of the road. No one's going to blink an eye. GENTLE PIANO MUSIC For me, it was a little bit more tricky because I was thinking, you know, starting a family, I really would have wanted to have been closer to my mum. But just before our wedding, I had an attempted hijacking. So when we started thinking seriously about having a family, one of my major things was knowing that they'd be able to grow up somewhere safe. You know, kids shouldn't know what the armed response code is or, you know, how to push the panic button. He said to me, you know, 'We can't live like this, and we can't have a family 'if we're constantly fearful.' Melody and Justin finally decided that they couldn't start a family in South Africa and moved to NZ in 2012. When we got here, it was more about securing a job, securing a house. And then we were, kind of, 'OK, now is the time to start towards having a baby.' But when I was 24, I had a ruptured ovarian cyst, um, which was really really painful. And after the operation, the gynae said, 'When you decide to have children, 'it's going to be difficult.' But when I went to Fertility Associates here and they did a scan, and on my side it looked all good. Justin's sample was brilliant. I thought, 'Well, this is great.' you know, 'We're all good to go.' And for the first couple of months, it's quite a lot of fun, because, you know, every month you think, 'Well, this could be it.' But then as the months go on, um, it gets really hard. And it actually starts affecting the rest of your sex life, because you're not having sex for` how you used to. When the act of it isn't just for the enjoyment` Enjoyment of it, yeah. ...or the, you know, being close to each other, it's like, 'OK, we're doing this so we can build that.' Yeah. So` And then now it's a` now it's a chore. Now it's like doing the dishes. And even though you have the best intentions for it not to become mechanical, it just does. POIGNANT MUSIC I went back to Fertility Associates, and I was ovulating, but it wasn't the best ovulation it could be. So they put me on Clomiphene just to boost that. I've done five cycles of Clomiphene, and if the Clomiphene doesn't work, then it's more likely that there could be a blockage. Mel's nervous about having a laparoscopy. I'm excited about it cos then we have something we can either tick or cross off the list. Not long now. Least then we can go` once it's out of the way, it's out of the way. Yeah. And then we can say, 'Well, we don't need to do this,' or 'we need to do that'. So either way, what happens is good news. I don't know. I reckon they might find something. I hope they find something and go, 'Ah, that shouldn't be there. And then everything should be OK now.' KNOCK AT DOOR Hi. > Basically, once you're asleep, we're going to be making a small incision in your tummy button > to put a camera through and looking for structural reasons why you may not have fallen pregnant yet. And the number one thing, I suppose, we'll be looking for is endometriosis. Being put to sleep I have a bit of an issue with, so kind of am at the point where I really just wanna get it over with, and hopefully they can give us a clearer idea of what the next step would be. OK. So here's right ovary. She looks like she's about to ovulate, from there. Otherwise doesn't look like any endo here. That all looks pretty good. When you look at that tube, see how there's a distance between the ovary and the tube on that side? So we'll just` I think we'll just free that up a little bit as well. 'Both her tubes are open. 'But on the left-hand side we found a couple of what I think are minor things, 'but nevertheless could be contributing to her lack of conceiving so far. 'The first was we found a little cyst on a stalk on the end of her left tube.' The tube has to sweep down and pick up the egg from the ovary, and if it's got a cyst on the end of it, it can sometimes prevent them from getting together. The other thing we found was that the relationship between Mel's tube and her ovary was such that it was actually a little bit tethered. But we just freed that up a bit so that the tube and ovary can relate to each other, uh, more acceptably now. OK. That's us, guys. We're just gonna wash up and close up. I think that Mel and Justin have a great chance of conceiving without too much intervention, because they've now got the key components to conceive ` great sperm, we know Mel can ovulate, and her tubes are in good shape. So I think they've got a great chance of getting pregnant. GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC So today I am coming in for an HSG scan, so an ultrasound scan to check, uh, for any blockages in my fallopian tubes. Morning. I'm here for an appointment. Such a weird feeling that, you know, you usually go to appointments hoping that nothing's wrong, but then the flip side is that if something is wrong, then they can work to fix it and it won't just be` you know, I won't just keep getting told, 'Well, you should be pregnant by now. 'There's no reason you shouldn't.' Good morning, Leah. Hi. I'm Jane Peart. I'm one of the radiology doctors. Hi. > Hi. And you've met Marianne. Yes. Yes, I have. So Marianne and I are going to do this procedure for you. Brilliant. > Um, so you have seen Dr Liu? Yes. OK. And so what she's asking us to do is to check whether your fallopian tubes are blocked or not. Mm-hm. They're the tubes between the ovaries and the uterus, and obviously you need them to be not blocked if you want an egg to get down there. Would be nice. If anything bothers you, just do let me know, cos we're not in the business of tormenting our patients. How long is it going to be? Um, hopefully not long. I'm just going to swab your cervix with a little bit of antiseptic... > Yep. ...and then pop that tube in. > When we've got the tube in, we take the speculum out. It doesn't stay there the whole time, OK? > So that black stuff is the dye going into the cavity of your uterus. OK. And so then it goes, we hope, from the cavity of the uterus into the tubes. In fact it looks like it's headed off that way already. Beautiful. OK, and so what I'll do, just while we're here, I'll just quickly check your ovaries. And that's a beautiful image all the way right down your cervical canal. Beautiful looking line in. Sorry, I know I'm pushing. You all right? It's not too uncomfortable? Yeah, it's a little bit, but` Sorry. I'll take the pressure off it. (LAUGHS) It's right out` It's (LAUGHS) just a bit hard to get at. > But it looks just fine. > Grab a seat. First of all, how are you feeling? Fine. Yeah, no, that little bit of pain's gone, so that's good. Yeah, often a lot of it's from the balloon. The little round bit here that's slightly black is the air in the balloon that holds everything in place. And the white bit is the dye, and it's inside` it's in the inside of your uterine cavity. And straight away the dye headed down your left tube, which is always a good sign. And if we go to the next picture we took, the dye has gone all the way down to the end of the right tube. Quite cool. Yeah. (LAUGHS) So neither of those tubes are blocked, OK? That's good. Thank you very much for that. Oh, you're very welcome. Go and enjoy the rest of your day. Go and have a nice cup of coffee. I will. I will. (LAUGHS) I think you deserve it, both of you! Brilliant. OK. Thank you. All the very best. The hysterosalpingograms are always quite difficult because if they turn out to be normal, in a way, it's helpful but not helpful. It's helpful in that it's excluded any, sort of, terrible cause that can't be fixed, but it's also unhelpful in that it hasn't given people a cause which something can be done about. What do you think? Mm, have we achieved anything? Well, we've ticked one thing off the list, you know? There's obviously` it's problem-solving. You know, we can tick off that the tubes aren't blocked, and we move on to the next thing. But we're going to keep trying, eh, while at home? Yeah, we may as well. > It's probably the best thing to do just in case. You never know your luck. Something magic might happen. Who knows. 1 UPBEAT MUSIC Today we're here to` for my first scan of my ovaries to see how the follicles are doing. That is exciting, because it's our first look at whether things are actually happening. I was expecting her to be, you know, very hormonal, whatever the word is. Um, but, yeah, nothing's really changed. She just seems a bit more tired. Um, yeah. I'm a bit more stressed out having to stick needles in her. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) We had a conversation the other night and I was, like, 'I'm so grateful that you're giving me the injections, but can you not freak out? 'Cos it freaks me out.' (LAUGHS) And so, like` It's just, he'd be like, 'Oh, it's going in, it's going in, it's going in.' And I'm like... BOTH LAUGH So, um, yeah. We` If he stays calm, then I'm a little bit calmer as well. (LAUGHS) Which doesn't happen. BOTH LAUGH So, Michelle, we're just going to do your first scan today, just to see how you respond to the injections. OK? So that's an internal scan. Yep. So just touching you here. I'm just going to feel the pressure of the probe going in. So in the middle you see the uterus there. This brighter area that we're measuring is the endometrium, which is the lining of the uterus. < Yep. And it's 6.8. So it'll get thicker as the time goes. At this stage it might be a little tricky to know whether some of these might be the original cysts or, you know, the remnants of your endometriosis from surgery. < Yeah. Um, these little ones might mean that there are some smaller follicles still here. You can see this is quite a bit bigger, and it's a round, sort of, cystic structure, with a little bit of grey inside. > Right. Um, that might be an endometrioma, so` < OK. Which means...? Means that you've got the endometriosis cyst on the ovary again. SOLEMN MUSIC Certainly her previous history of having endometriosis in surgeries probably didn't really help the situation, and her current age being 41 also is a contributing factor for her not responding so well to the drugs. Um, but there looks like there might be some early activities on the ovaries. I think we just need to be hopeful. Yeah, I am a bit disappointed, but, you know, just keep going. Yeah. What more can you do, really? At least we know where the problem is now. It's the ovaries. GENTLE MUSIC Yeah, today's been a bit of a rough day. Um, my Facebook feed is, like, baby central, so it's` it's sometimes hard. And, you know, pregnancy announcements of friends who have only been trying for two months, and obviously I'm very very glad for them, but definitely does... Oh, it just brings up some difficult feelings. OK, today is day five after the operation, and Mel is not having a good time. Um, she's pretty upset with the, uh, just 13` 14 months of just... trying, trying, trying, trying, trying and getting nowhere. Um, I'm trying to tell her to keep positive, but only so much you can do. I don't want an abandoned hope. I need very clear, you know, 'This is what a realistic expectation is. 'This is what you can expect. These are what your chances are. Let's deal with it now.' So, look, what I thought we'd do today is to put together a plan going forward from here of, you know, how we can best help you get to where you want to be with a baby. So what we often do is what we call a monitored Clomiphene cycle, where in the first half of the` of the treatment, you actually have a blood test and a scan to pinpoint how the follicles are growing. That achieves two purposes ` firstly, it helps improve the timing of when you guys should be having intercourse, and it's kind of a safety thing too, because we don't want to turn you into octomum, either. (LAUGHS) No. No. Please. And so we don't` we don't want to have too many follicles there. We will try that for three cycles. If that was unsuccessful, the next step would be potentially something called IUI, where we take the sperm, we wash it down, we get rid of the larders and just deal with the Ferraris. So basically we have the fastest, best sperm, and we put them directly into your uterus exactly when you're ovulating with Clomiphene. If that was unsuccessful, then the next step's IVF. > I said to Justin just after the op I was quite emotionally drained. So I thought it might be a good idea just to take a month or two off just to, sort of, get my mind right. To regroup? Yep. You know, you're in the age group where I'm sure a lot of your friends are getting pregnant. And on one hand you want` > Every one. Yeah. > And you wanna be happy for them,... > Yeah. ...but part of you will be going, 'Oh, why can't that be me?' > Yeah. And one of the other things that I think is worth considering is guys tend to be very practically focused ` 'OK, that's the problem. Let's go and see Dr Murray. 'He'll fix your tubes and then we'll get pregnant.' And the next thing you'll say is, 'What's for dinner?' It's like, 'Oh, he doesn't really care about this fertility thing.' You've been reading our mail. No, I haven't! But, you know, I've seen enough of this to know the story. So, you know, Melody, you'll perhaps be talking a bit about it, and Justin's perception might be, 'God, that's all she ever thinks and talks about. It's like she's forgotten all the cool stuff 'that brought us together. And I really do care, but I don't want it to be the only thing.' So, look, have a couple of months' break, perhaps see the counsellors in that time off. And then when you're ready, you just give us a call and we` we get underway. GENTLE MUSIC I've always been confident that as soon as we relax, good things will happen. If you're trying to force something that you have no control over to happen, it's not going to happen. LIGHT MUSIC Today we're going to pick up the drugs from Fertility Associates, um, to get us all ready and set and underway. I feel sorry for Dave, actually, because he's going to have to deal with me` I'm already` you know, I'm already emotional, so add some drugs on top of that, and who knows. (LAUGHS) You know, four years down the track, but it's almost like you're back to where you were the day we first started to try and all that excitement was there and we're starting to let ourselves do things and think about the nursery and buy some baby stuff. It is like you're preparing, you're putting, you know, positive energy out. Yeah, I just feel like it will happen. If it's not this time, it will happen eventually. Hello. Hi. Right. Time to learn about the drugs you're going to be using now. With your upcoming cycle, so we need to do this... One drug will stimulate Teresa's ovaries to hopefully produce more than the one follicle she would do on her monthly cycle, because we're after a cohort of eggs, preferably somewhere between six and 10 eggs to mix with David's sperm that we've already got on ice, if you like. Big lid off. Little lid off. Now, you're holding it like a pen or a dart. This is the smallest sized needle, OK? Don't say that! (LAUGHS) Dart put you off? Holding it like that. It's quite confronting when you see the needles. You're just, like, 'Oh wow. OK. This is real.' (CHUCKLES) 'This is going in my body. I've gotta do it.' GENTLE MUSIC 'I'm terrified of needles, so I'm quite` I'm nervous about injecting myself, 'I'm nervous about all the drugs in my body, I'm nervous about, you know, the two-week wait. 'I'm nervous about, you know, if we're going to have enough eggs. 'It's` Yeah. There's a lot of` There's a lot of things that you're` you will have sleepless nights over, 'like the waiting and the not knowing and the... 'Yeah, everything's just so uncertain with IVF, isn't it?'