1 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. ABLE 2015 # THIS IS THE NIGHT # IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT # AND THEY CALL IT BELLA NOTTE # LOOK AT THE SKIES # THEY HAVE STARS IN THEIR EYES # ON THIS LOVELY # BELLA NOTTE # SO TAKE THE LOVE # OF YOUR LOVED ONE # YOU'LL NEED IT # ABOUT THIS TIME # TO KEEP FROM FALLING # LIKE A STAR # WHEN YOU MAKE THAT DIZZY CLIMB # FOR # THIS IS THE NIGHT # AND THE HEAVENS ARE RIGHT # ON THIS LOVELY # BELLA NOTTE # ON THIS LOVELY # BELLA NOTTE # # SILENT AS THE SNOWFLAKE IN THE NIGHT # HOLY IS THE SPIRIT OF THIS NIGHT # ALL THE WORLD IS CALM AND PEACEFUL # ALL THE WORLD IS BRIGHT AND JOYFUL # SPIRIT OF LOVE # AND CHILD OF PEACE # LOVE UNENDING # THAT SHALL NOT CEASE # PEACE, MY CHILDREN # OF GOODWILL # PEACE, MY CHILDREN # PEACE, BE STILL # IT'S FOR YOU, DARLING. MERRY CHRISTMAS. OH, JIM DEAR! IT'S THE ONE I WAS ADMIRING, ISN'T IT? TRIMMED WITH RIBBONS? (PUPPY YIPPING) WELL, IT HAS A RIBBON. (GASPS) OH, HOW SWEET. YOU LIKE HER, DARLING? OH, I LOVE HER. WHAT A PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE LADY. (WHIMSICAL MUSIC) COME ON, LADY. OVER HERE. THAT'S A GIRL. THERE NOW, A NICE LITTLE BED FOR YOU. BUT, JIM DEAR, ARE YOU SURE SHE'LL BE WARM ENOUGH? WHY, OF COURSE, DARLING. SHE'LL BE SNUG AS A BUG IN A R` UH-OH. ALMOST FORGOT SOMETHING. THERE. GOOD NIGHT, LADY. NOW, NOW, DON'T WORRY, DARLING. SHE'LL GO RIGHT TO SLEEP. NO, NO, LADY. THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG, RIGHT HERE. (WHIMSICAL MUSIC) (WHIMPERING) (DARLING) AH, LOOK, SHE'S LONESOME. DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE JUST FOR TONIGHT? (JIM) NOW, DARLING, IF WE'RE GOING TO SHOW HER WHO'S MASTER, WE MUST BE FIRM FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. (WHIMSICAL MUSIC) (WHIMPERING) (JIM) LADY! (THUMPING) STOP THAT NOW! STOP IT! (WHIMPERING RESUMES) (HOWLING) (FOOTFALLS) (WHIMPERING) (HOWLING) (POUNDING) LADY, QUIET NOW! DO YA HEAR ME? BACK TO BED. QUICK NOW. NOT ONE MORE SOUND. (CHIMING) (SCRAPING) (WHIMSICAL MUSIC) (WHIMSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (SNORING) (SNORING CONTINUES) (SNORTING, SNORING) (WHIMPERING) JIM DEAR? (GROANS) (WHIMPERING, HOWLING) AW, JIM. HMM? WHAT? WHAT? OH. (WHIMPERING, HOWLING) (JIM YAWNING) OH, ALL RIGHT. BUT, REMEMBER, JUST FOR TONIGHT. (YAWNING) (ROOSTER CROWING) (DINGING) (GROANS) (YAWNING) ALL RIGHT, LADY. ALL RIGHT. I'M UP. I'M UP, LADY. OH, NO! WHAT'S WRONG, JIM? WHAT IS IT? CAN'T YOU EXPLAIN TO LADY ABOUT SUNDAYS? (BARKING) (CHEERFUL MUSIC) (SINISTER MUSIC) (GROWLS, BARKING) (BICYCLE BELL RINGS) (RINGING CONTINUES) (CHEERFUL MUSIC) (CHEERFUL MUSIC) HAVE YOU NOTICED, DARLING, SINCE WE'VE HAD LADY, WE SEE LESS AND LESS OF THOSE DISTURBING HEADLINES? YES, I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW WE EVER GOT ALONG WITHOUT HER. SAY, SHE MUST BE ABOUT 6 MONTHS OLD. WE'D BETTER BE GETTING HER A LICENSE. (GENTLE MUSIC) HOPE IT FITS. MY, BUT IT DOES LOOK NICE. SO GROWN UP. WON'T JOCK AND TRUSTY BE SURPRISED? (HUMMING) (HUMMING CONTINUES) (SCOTTISH ACCENT) # FOUR STEPS AHEAD THEN TO THE LEFT # AND RIGHT TO THE PLACE WHERE I MARKED IT # WITH A BONNY BONNY BONE THAT I'LL BURY FOR ME OWN # # IN MY BONNY BONNY BANK IN THE BACKYARD # AH, THAT'S A GRAND SIGHT. (LADY) JOCK! OH, JOCK! HELLO, JOCK. OH, OH, IT'S YOU, LASSIE. NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT? UH, UH, YOU'VE HAD A BATH? NO, NOT THAT. YOU'VE HAD YOUR NAILS CLIPPED? UH-UH. GUESS AGAIN. WELL, I-I WOULDN'T BE A-KNOWIN' THEN. WHY, LASSIE, A BONNY NEW COLLAR. DO YA LIKE IT? AYE! (SNIFFING) MMM! IT MUST BE VERY EXPENSIVE. HAVE YA SHOWN IT TO TRUSTY YET? NO. WE'D BEST GO AT ONCE. YOU KNOW HOW SENSITIVE HE IS ABOUT THESE THINGS. (SNORING) (WHIMPERING) (HOWLING) HE'S DREAMING. AYE, DREAMING OF THOSE BONNY BYGONE DAYS WHEN HE AND HIS GRANDFATHER WERE TRACKIN' CRIMINALS THROUGH THE SWAMPS. (LADY) THEY WERE? THAT WAS BEFORE-- BEFORE WHAT? 'TIS TIME YOU KNEW THE TRUTH, LASSIE. IT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED TO A DOG, BUT, WELL,... TRUSTY HAS LOST HIS SENSE OF SMELL. (LADY GASPS) NO! AYE. (WHISPERING) BUT WE MUST NEVER LET ON THAT WE KNOW, LASSIE. IT WOULD BREAK HIS POOR HEART. UH, UH, WHICH WAY DID HE GO? WHICH WAY DID HE GO? GO? YEAH, BIG FELLA. ABOUT, UH, SIX FOOT TWO. (SNIFFS) NO, UH, THREE. WORE A STRIPED SUIT. NO COLLAR. WHY, MISS LADY! YOU HAVE A COLLAR. MM-HMM! AND A LICENSE. MY, MY, HOW TIME DOES FLY. AYE, IT SEEMS ONLY YESTERDAY SHE WAS CUTTIN' HER TEETH ON JIM DEAR'S SLIPPERS, AND NOW, THERE SHE IS A FULL-GROWN LADY. WEARIN' THE GREATEST HONOUR MAN CAN BESTOW. THE BADGE OF FAITH AND RESPECTABILITY. THAT'S RIGHT, MISS LADY. AS MY GRANDPAPPY, OLD RELIABLE, USED TO SAY-- DON'T RECOLLECT IF I'VE EVER MENTIONED OLD RELIABLE BEFORE. AYE, YA HAVE, LADDIE. OH, YEAH. (WHISTLING) OH, IT'S JIM DEAR. (WHISTLING CONTINUES) PLEASE EXCUSE ME. HELLO THERE, LADY. COME ON. BEAT YA HOME. OH, YOU WIN AGAIN! STEADY NOW. STEADY. WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE? OH, BIG GIRL NOW, HUH? ALL RIGHT. OH, LADIES FIRST. YOU KNOW, DARLING, WITH LADY HERE I'D SAY LIFE IS QUITE COMPLETE. YES, DEAR. I DON'T IMAGINE ANYTHING COULD EVER TAKE HER PLACE IN OUR HEARTS. (STEAM HISSING) (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING, STEAM HISSING) (TRAIN ENGINE CHUGGING) (TRAIN DEPARTING) (SHUDDERS) (INHALES, EXHALES) WHAT A DAY! WELL, NOW TO DIG UP SOME BREAKFAST. HMM? OH! CUTE LITTLE RASCALS. (YIPPING) COOCHIE, COOCHIE, COOCHIE, COO. (CHUCKLES) NOW, THAT BREAKFAST. LET'S SEE. BERNIE'S? HMM? NO. FRANCOIS? NO, NO, NOPE. TOO MUCH STARCH. AH, TONY'S! OH, THAT'S IT. HAVEN'T BEEN THERE IN A WEEK. # A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO MAKE A PIZZA, HEY, HEY # AND THEY CALL IT BELLA NOTTE # (SCRATCHING CONTINUES) WELL, BUONGIORNO, BUTCH! YOU WANT YOUR BREAKFAST, EH? OKAY, THE BOSS, HE SAVE-A SOME-A NICE-A BONES FOR YOU. BREAKFAST A-COMIN' UP FROM-A LEFT FIELD! HA, HA! GOOD CATCH! (WHISTLING) (HOOFBEATS APPROACHING) (MAN) WHOA, BOY. WHOA. (WHISTLING CONTINUES) (WHISTLING CONTINUES) (HUMMING) (HUMMING CONTINUES) (POUNDING CONTINUES) (HUMMING CONTINUES) (WHISTLING CONTINUES) (SINISTER MUSIC) HEY. PSST. PSST. (COCKNEY ACCENT) HA, HA, HA. BLIMEY! LOOK, PEG. IT'S THE TRAMP. SHH! HIYA, HANDSOME. COME TO JOIN THE PARTY? ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. NO TIME FOR WISECRACKS. I'VE GOT TO GET YA OUT. I'M TELLIN' YA, THE PRESSURE'S REALLY HOT. SIGNS ALL OVER TOWN. GEE, THANKS. YOU'RE A BIT OF ALL RIGHT, CHUM. OKAY, OKAY, GET GOING. HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON OVER THERE? SCRAM! AND BE CAREFUL! (GROWLING) WHAT? YOU MANGY MUTT. HEY, LET GO! LET GO OF ME! (BARKING) (BARKING) WELL! SNOB HILL. HA. HI, GALS. HOW'S PICKINGS? PRETTY SLIM, EH? YEAH, I'LL BET THEY'VE GOT A LID ON EVERY TRASH CAN. UH-OH. AND A FENCE AROUND EVERY TREE. (CHUCKLES) I WONDER WHAT THE LEASH-AND-COLLAR SET DOES FOR EXCITEMENT. LASSIE! LASSIE! OH, MISS LADY, MA'AM! MISS LADY! AH, GOOD MORNIN', LASSIE! 'TIS A BONNY, BRAW, BRIGHT DAY, UH, TODAY. WHY, MISS LADY, IS SOMETHIN' WRONG? AYE, TELL US, LASSIE! IF SOMEBODY'S BEEN MISTREATIN' YA-- OH, NO, JOCK. IT'S SOMETHING I'VE DONE, I GUESS. YOU? IT MUST BE. JIM DEAR AND DARLING ARE ACTING SO-- (DARLING HUMMING) JIM DEAR AND DARLING? HUSH, MAN! (HUMMING CONTINUES) NOW, LASSIE, GET ON WITH THE DETAILS. WELL, I FIRST NOTICED IT THE OTHER DAY WHEN JIM DEAR CAME HOME. (CHIMING) (BARKING) (BARKING) DOWN, LADY. DOWN! DARLING? DARLING! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? (DARLING) OF COURSE I AM. WHY SHOULDN'T I BE? I JUST CAN'T HELP WORRYING. AFTER ALL, IN YOUR CONDITION, ALONE HERE ALL DAY, WALKING THAT DOG. - "THAT DOG"? - "THAT DOG"? HE'S NEVER CALLED ME THAT BEFORE. WELL, NOW, LASSIE, I WOULDN'T WORRY MY WEE HEAD ABOUT THAT. REMEMBER, THEY'RE ONLY HUMANS, AFTER ALL. THAT'S RIGHT, MISS LADY. AS MY GRANDPAPPY, OLD RELIABLE, USED TO SAY-- DON'T RECOLLECT IF I'VE EVER MENTIONED OLD RELIABLE BEFORE. AYE, YA HAVE, LADDIE, FREQUENTLY. OH, YEAH. BUT NOW DARLING IS-- WELL, WE'VE ALWAYS ENJOYED OUR AFTERNOON ROMP TOGETHER. BUT YESTERDAY-- (CHIMING) (BARKING) - (HUMMING) - (BARKS) (HUMMING CONTINUES) (WHINING) NO, LADY. NO WALK TODAY. (HUMMING CONTINUES) NO, LADY. NOT NOW. (GROWLING) LADY! (GROWLING CONTINUES) DROP THAT, LADY! (GROWLING) DROP IT, I SAY! IT DIDN'T HURT REALLY. BUT DARLING HAS NEVER STRUCK ME BEFORE. NOW, LASSIE, DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY. AFTER ALL, AT A TIME LIKE THIS-- WHY, YES, YOU SEE, MISS LADY, THERE COMES A TIME IN THE LIFE OF ALL HUMANS WHEN, UH-- WELL, AS THEY PUT IT, UH, THE BIRDS AND THE BEES. OR, WELL, UH, THE STORK, YOU KNOW? UH, NO? WELL, UH-- WHAT HE'S TRYIN' TO SAY, LASSIE, IS... DARLING IS EXPECTING A WEE BAIRN. - "BAIRN"? - HE MEANS A BABY, MISS LADY. OH! WHAT'S A BABY? (JOCK) WELL, THEY-- THEY RESEMBLE HUMANS. BUT I'D SAY A MITE SMALLER. AYE, AND THEY WALK ON ALL FOURS. (TRUSTY) AND IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, THEY BELLOW A LOT. AYE, AND THEY'RE VERY EXPENSIVE. YOU'LL NOT BE PERMITTED TO PLAY WITH IT. BUT THEY'RE MIGHTY SWEET. AND VERY, VERY SOFT. JUST A CUTE LITTLE BUNDLE-- HEH HEH--OF TROUBLE. YEAH, THEY SCRATCH, PINCH, PULL EARS. AW, BUT, SHUCKS, ANY DOG CAN TAKE THAT. IT'S WHAT THEY DO TO YOUR HAPPY HOME. MOVE IT OVER, WILL YA, FRIEND? HOME WRECKERS! THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE. LOOK HERE, LADDIE! WHO ARE YOU TO BARGE IN? THE VOICE OF EXPERIENCE, BUSTER. (CHUCKLES) JUST WAIT TILL JUNIOR GETS HERE. YOU GET THE URGE FOR A NICE COMFORTABLE SCRATCH AND-- "PUT THAT DOG OUT! HE'LL GET FLEAS ALL OVER THE BABY!" YOU START BARKING AT SOME STRANGE MUTT. (BARKING) "STOP THAT RACKET! YOU'LL WAKE THE BABY!" AND THEN THEY HIT YOU IN THE ROOM AND BOARD DEPARTMENT. REMEMBER THOSE NICE, JUICY CUTS OF BEEF? FORGET 'EM. LEFTOVER BABY FOOD. AND THAT NICE, WARM BED BY THE FIRE? (CHUCKLES) (THUNDERCLAP) A LEAKY DOGHOUSE. OH, DEAR! DO NOT LISTEN, LASSIE! NO HUMAN IS THAT CRUEL! OF COURSE NOT, MISS LADY. WHY, EVERYBODY KNOWS A DOG'S BEST FRIEND IS HIS HUMAN. (TRAMP LAUGHING) OH, COME ON NOW, FELLAS. YOU HAVEN'T FALLEN FOR THAT OLD LINE NOW, HAVE YA? AYE, AND WE'VE NO NEED FOR MONGRELS AND THEIR RADICAL IDEAS. OFF WITH YA NOW! OFF WITH YA! OKAY, SANDY. THE NAME'S JOCK. OKAY, JOCK. HEATHER LAD O' GLENCAIRN TO YOU! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! BUT REMEMBER THIS, PIGEON. A HUMAN HEART HAS ONLY SO MUCH ROOM FOR LOVE AND AFFECTION. WHEN A BABY MOVES IN, THE DOG MOVES OUT. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) UH-HUH. NOW, LET'S SEE. THAT'LL BE ABOUT-- OH, WELL. (POUNDING) DARLING? THERE ISN'T ANY WAY WE CAN TELL FOR SURE WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE, IS THERE? I'M AFRAID NOT. NOBODY EVER KNOWS FOR CERTAIN. ALL WE CAN DO IS... HOPE. (CHIMING) (FOOTFALLS APPROACHING) (YAWNING) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (DOOR CLOSES) DARLING? ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT WATERMELON? MM-HMM. OH, AND SOME CHOP SUEY, TOO. CHOP SUEY? OH. OH, ALL RIGHT, DARLING. (DOOR CLOSES) (WOMEN LAUGHING, CHATTERING) (WOMAN) THAT'S THE CUTEST LITTLE THING I EVER SAW. AND THAT BONNET! ISN'T IT JUST TOO ADORABLE? DON'T YOU JUST LOVE SHOWERS? DARLING, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL. ISN'T SHE ABSOLUTELY RADIANT? RADIANT! WHY, THAT'S JUST WHAT I TOLD BILL YESTERDAY! "BILL," I SAID, "DARLING LOOKS RADIANT, POSITIVELY RADIANT! WHY, IN ALL MY DAYS," I SAID, "I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE AS RADIANT AS DARLING." (MEN LAUGHING, CHATTERING) JIM, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE! ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! I NEVER SAW YA LOOK WORSE. CHEER UP, JIM. OLD DOC JONES HAS NEVER LOST A FATHER YET! (GROUP LAUGHING) (THUNDERCLAP) YES, AUNT SARAH, IT'S A BOY! UH-HUH! A BOY! WHAT'S THAT? EYES? OH, WHAT COLOUR ARE THEY? WELL, OH, GOSH! I-I-I FORGOT TO LOOK! A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A--DOCTOR! DOCTOR, IT'S A BOY! YES. YES, I KNOW. AHA! A BOY. OH, BOY! OH, BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! HELLO? HELLO, JIM? ARE YOU THERE, JIM? CENTRAL? CENTRAL? WE'VE BEEN CUT OFF. HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? 1 (BABY CRYING) (TWITTERING) (CRYING CONTINUES) (LADY'S VOICE) WHAT IS A BABY? I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND # IT MUST BE SOMETHING WONDERFUL # IT MUST BE SOMETHING GRAND # 'CAUSE EVERYBODY'S SMILING # IN A KIND AND WISTFUL WAY # AND THEY HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED # THAT I'M AROUND TODAY # (WHISTLING) (WHISTLING CONTINUES) (LADY'S VOICE) WHAT IS A BABY ANYWAY? (BABY COOING) # OH, WHAT IS A BABY? # I MUST FIND OUT TODAY # WHAT MAKES JIM DEAR AND DARLING # ACT... THIS... WAY # # LA, LA, LU # LA, LA, LU # OH, MY LITTLE STAR SWEEPER # I'LL SWEEP THE STARDUST # FOR YOU # LA, LA, LU # LA, LA, LU # LITTLE SOFT FLUFFY SLEEPER # HERE COMES A PINK CLOUD FOR YOU # LA, LA, LU # LA, LA, LU # LITTLE WANDERING ANGEL # FOLD UP YOUR WINGS # CLOSE YOUR EYES # LA, LA, LU # LA, LA, LU # AND MAY LOVE BE YOUR KEEPER # LA, LA, LU # LA, LA, LU # LA, LA, LU # THERE NOW, LITTLE STAR SWEEPER. DREAM ON. (TWITTERING) WELL, THAT SHOULD DO IT. WE GOT ENOUGH HERE TO TAKE US HALFWAY TO CHINA. (GRUNTS, SIGHS) DARLING. DARLING? WE HAVEN'T MUCH TIME. JIM, I JUST CAN'T LEAVE HIM. HE'S STILL SO SMALL AND HELPLESS. HE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. NOW, COME ON. IF HE WAKES UP, WE'LL NEVER GET AWAY. BUT, JIM, I FEEL SO GUILTY DESERTING HIM LIKE THIS. NONSENSE. HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH LADY? SHE THINKS WE'RE RUNNING OUT ON HIM. AW, DON'T WORRY, OLD GIRL. WE'LL BE BACK IN A FEW DAYS. AUNT SARAH WILL BE HERE. WITH YOU HERE TO HELP HER-- (DOORBELL RINGS) THERE'S THE OLD GIRL NOW. COMING, AUNT SARAH! COMING! SORRY I'M LATE, DEARS. HOPE I HAVEN'T KEPT YOU WAITING. HERE, LET ME TAKE YOUR THINGS. NOW, NOW. NO FUSSING. I KNOW MY WAY AROUND. ON YOUR WAY NOW. MUSTN'T MISS YOUR TRAIN. HAVE A GOOD TIME, AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING. GOOD-BYE, DEARS. GOOD-BYE, GOOD-BYE. BOTH: GOOD-BYE! NOW TO SEE THAT BIG NEPHEW OF MINE. COOCHIE, COOCHIE, COOCHIE, COOCHIE! OH, YOU ADORABLE LITTLE-- (GASPS) GOOD GRACIOUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GO ON NOW! SHOO, SHOO! SCAT! GET OUT OF HERE! (BABY CRYING) THERE, THERE. AUNT SARAH WON'T LET THAT DOG FRIGHTEN YOU ANY MORE. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, DEAR. (CRYING CONTINUES) # ROCK-A-BYE BABY # ON THE TREE TOPS # WHEN THE WIND BLOWS... # (ORIENTAL MUSIC) # WE ARE SIAMESE IF YOU PLEASE (PURRING) # WE ARE SIAMESE IF YOU DON'T PLEASE (PURRING) # NOW WE LOOKING OVER OUR NEW DOMICILE # IF WE LIKE, WE STAY FOR MAYBE QUITE A WHILE # (BARKING) DO YOU SEEING THAT THING SWIMMING ROUND AND ROUND? YES-S-S! MAYBE WE COULD REACHING IN AND MAKE IT DROWN. (PURRING) IF WE SNEAKING UP UPON IT CAREFULLY, THERE WILL BE A HEAD FOR YOU, A TAIL FOR ME. (CRASHING) (BABY CRYING) DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR? (PURRS) A BABY CRY. WHERE WE FINDING BABY, THERE ARE MILK NEARBY. (TOGETHER) # IF WE LOOK IN BABY BUGGY THERE COULD BE # PLENTY MILK FOR YOU AND ALSO SOME FOR ME # (GROWLS) (HISSING) (BARKING) (CLATTERING) WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE? (GASPS) MERCIFUL HEAVENS! (MEOWING) MY DARLINGS! MY PRECIOUS PETS! OH, OH, THAT WICKED ANIMAL. ATTACKING MY POOR, INNOCENT, LITTLE ANGELS. (MAN) GOOD AFTERNOON, MA'AM. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? I WANT A MUZZLE, A GOOD, STRONG MUZZLE. YES, MA'AM. HERE'S OUR LATEST COMBINATION LEASH AND MUZZLE. WE'LL JUST SLIP IT ON LIKE THIS. AND, NO, NO, NO! LADY! NICE DOGGY! NO, NO. DON'T WIGGLE. STEADY NOW! NOW! NOW, NOW! CAREFUL, YOU LITTLE-- WATCH OUT! (MAN) DOGGY! CAREFUL, DOGGY! COME BACK! COME BACK HERE, I SAY! (HORN HONKS) (HORN HONKS) (BELL RINGS) (BELL CLANGING) (CLATTERING) (DOGS BARKING) (BARKING) (BARKING CONTINUES) (GROWLING) (BOTH GROWLING) (GROWLING, SNARLING) (YELPING) (GROWLING, SNARLING) (SNARLING CONTINUES) (BARKING, YELPING) (PANTING, SNORTS) HEY, PIGE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THIS SIDE OF TRACKS? I THOUGHT YOU'D-- WHAT? OH, YOU POOR KID. OH, WE'VE GOTTA GET THIS OFF. HMM? I THINK I KNOW THE VERY PLACE. COME ON. 1 WELL, HERE WE ARE. THE ZOO? SURE. (WHISPERS) NO, NO. THIS WAY. FOLLOW ME. (HUMMING) (LADY) OH! WHAT'S THE MATTER, PIGE? WE CAN'T GO IN. WHY NOT? WELL, THE SIGN SAYS-- YEAH, WELL, THAT'S-- THAT'S THE ANGLE. ANGLE? LOOK, WE'LL JUST WAIT FOR THE RIGHT-- UH-OH. HERE WE ARE NOW. JUST LAY LOW. (HUMMING CONTINUES) (HUMMING CONTINUES) (WHISTLES) (BARKING) HEY, YOU! I BEG YOUR PARDON. WERE YOU ADDRESSING ME? WHAT'S THE MATTER? CAN'T YOU READ? WHY, YES, IN SEVERAL OTHER LANGUAGES. OH! A WISE GUY, EH? ALL RIGHT NOW, WHAT'S THIS CREATURE DOIN' HERE? HE'S NOT MY DOG. OH, HE'S NOT, EH? GO AWAY. WHY, CERTAINLY NOT, OFFICER. I SUPPOSE YOU'LL BE TELLIN' ME NEXT IT WAS THE DOG THAT WAS WHISTLIN', EH? I'M CERTAIN I DON'T KNOW. OH, I'M A LIAR NOW, AM I? WELL, YOU LISTEN TO ME! AHA! RESISTIN' AN OFFICER OF THE LAW! YOU'RE GONNA PAY! OH! PULL A KNIFE ON ME, WILL YA? TRYIN' TO ASSASSINATE ME, ARE YA? (BARKING) CARRYIN' CONCEALED WEAPONS? (SHOUTING) COME ON, PIGE. THE PLACE IS OURS. (SHOUTING CONTINUES) HMM? WE'D BETTER GO THROUGH THIS PLACE FROM "A" TO "Z." APES? NO, NO, NO. NO USE EVEN ASKING THEM. THEY WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND. THEY WOULDN'T? UH-UH. TOO CLOSELY RELATED TO HUMANS. OH, OH! ALLIGATORS! NOW, THERE'S AN IDEA. SAY, AL, DO YOU SUPPOSE YOU COULD NIP THIS CONTRAPTION OFF FOR US? GLAD TO OBLIGE. (ECHOING) OBLIGE, OBLIGE. WHOA! WHOA! (ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING, HYENAS LAUGHING, LIONS ROARING) (LAUGHING CONTINUES) HMPH. IF ANYBODY EVER NEEDED A MUZZLE, IT'S HIM. TIMBER! HEY, PIGEON, LOOK OUT! WHAT HARE-BRAINED IDIOT WOULD--HEY, LOOK. A BEAVER! HERE'S THE ANSWER TO OUR PROBLEM. LET ME SEE HERE. SIX FOOT SIX AND SEVEN-SIXTEENTH INCHES. PARDON ME, FRIEND. I WONDER IF YOU'D DO US A LITTLE-- BUSY, SONNY, BUSY. CAN'T STOP TO GOSSIP NOW. GOTTA SLIDE THIS SYCAMORE TO THE... SWAMP. - THIS WILL ONLY TAKE A SECOND OF YOUR TIME. - ONLY A SECOND? LISTEN, SONNY, DO YOU REALIZE EVERY SECOND... 70 CENTIMETRES OF WATER IS WASTED OVER THAT SPILLWAY? YEAH, BUT-- GOTTA GET THIS LOG MOVIN', SONNY. GOTTA GET IT MOVIN'. 'TAIN'T THE CUTTIN' TAKES THE TIME. IT'S THE DOGGONE HAULIN'! (GRUNTING) THE HAULIN'. EXACTLY. NOW, WHAT YOU NEED IS-- BETTER BISECT THIS SECTION HERE. WHAT YOU NEED IS A LOG PULLER. I SAID, A LOG PULLER! I AIN'T DEAF, SONNY. THERE'S NO NEED TO-- DID YOU SAY, "LOG PULLER"? AND, BY A LUCKY COINCIDENCE, YOU SEE BEFORE YOU, MODELLED BY THE LOVELY LITTLE LADY, THE NEW, IMPROVED... PATENTED, HANDY-DANDY, NEVER-FAIL, LITTLE-GIANT LOG PULLER! - THE BUSY BEAVER'S FRIEND. - YOU DON'T SAY! GUARANTEED NOT TO WEAR, TEAR, RIP OR RAVEL. TURN AROUND, SISTER, AND SHOW THE CUSTOMER THE MERCHANDISE. AND IT CUTS LOG HAULING TIME 66%! 66%, EH? (CHUCKLES) THINK OF THAT! - WELL, HOW'S IT WORK? - WHY, IT'S NO WORK AT ALL. YOU MERELY SLIP THIS RING OVER THE LIMB, LIKE THIS, AND HAUL IT OFF. SAY, YOU MIND IF I SLIP IT ON FOR SIZE? - HELP YOURSELF, FRIEND! - OKAY, DON'T MIND IF I DO. (GRUNTS) HOW DO YOU GET THE "CONSARNED" THING OFF, SONNY? GLAD YOU BROUGHT THAT UP, FRIEND. TO REMOVE IT, SIMPLY PLACE THE STRAP BETWEEN YOUR TEETH. - LIKE THIS? - CORRECT, FRIEND. NOW, BITE HARD! YA SEE? IT'S OFF! SAY, THAT IS SIMPLE. WELL, FRIEND, WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY NOW, SO-- UH-UH! NOT SO FAST NOW, SONNY. I'LL HAVE TO MAKE CERTAIN IT'S SATISFACTORY BEFORE WE SETTLE ON A PRICE. OH, NO, IT'S ALL YOURS, FRIEND. YOU CAN KEEP IT. UH, I CAN, HUH? I CAN? UH-HUH. IT'S A FREE SAMPLE. WELL, THANKS A LOT! THANKS EVER SO-- SAY! IT WORKS SWELL! BUT WHEN SHE PUT THAT HORRIBLE MUZZLE ON ME-- SAY NO MORE. I GET THE WHOLE PICTURE. AUNTS, CATS, MUZZLES. WELL, THAT'S WHAT COMES OF TYING YOURSELF DOWN TO ONE FAMILY. - HAVEN'T YOU A FAMILY? - ONE FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. THE POINT IS, NONE OF THEM HAVE ME. I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND. IT'S SIMPLE. YOU SEE-- (SNIFFS) HEY! SOMETHING TELLS ME IT'S SUPPER-TIME. COME ON. I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN. NOW, TAKE THE SCHULTZES HERE. LITTLE FRITZIE-- THAT'S ME, PIGE-- MAKES THIS HIS MONDAY HOME. MONDAY HOME? (GERMAN ACCENT) ACH, JA! MONDAYS IS MAMA SCHULTZ COOKING WIENER SCHNITZEL. MMM-MMM! DELICIOUS. (IRISH ACCENT) NOW, O'BRIENS HERE IS WHERE LITTLE MIKE-- SURE AND THAT'S ME AGAIN-- COMES OF A TUESDAY. OF A TUESDAY? BEGORRA AND THAT'S WHEN THEY'RE AFTER HAVIN' THAT DARLIN' CORN BEEF. YOU SEE, PIGE, WHEN YOU'RE FOOTLOOSE AND COLLAR-FREE, YOU TAKE NOTHING BUT THE BEST. (ACCORDION) HEY, TONY'S! OF COURSE. THE VERY PLACE FOR A VERY SPECIAL OCCASION. NO, THIS WAY, PIGE. I HAVE MY OWN PRIVATE ENTRANCE. WAIT HERE. JUST-A ONE-A MINUTE. I'M A-COMIN'. I'M A-- WHAT'S-A MATTER? SOMEBODY'S A-MAKIN' APRIL FOOL WITH-- - (BARKS) - OH, HELLO, BUTCH! WHERE YOU BEEN SO LONG? HEY, JOE, LOOK WHO'S HERE. WELL, WHAT DO YA KNOW? IT'S-A BUTCH-A. HEY, HEY, HEY. JOE-- (LAUGHS) JOE, BRING SOME BONES FOR BUTCH BEFORE HE EAT ME UP. OKAY, TONY. OKAY. BONES A-COMIN' UP-A. HUH? HUH? OH! WHAT'S THIS? HEY, JOE! LOOK-A. BUTCH, HE'S GOT A NEW GIRLFRIEND. WELL, SON OF A GUN. HE'S GOT A COCKER SPANISH A-GIRL. HEY, SHE'S PRETTY SWEET KIDDO, BUTCH. YOU TAKE-A TONY'S ADVICE AND SETTLE DOWN WITH THIS-A ONE, EH? "THIS-A ONE"? "THIS-A ONE"? OH! TONY, YOU KNOW-- HE'S-A NOT-A SPEAK-A ENGLISH PRETTY GOOD. YEAH. AHEM. NOW, FIRST WE FIX THE TABLE. HERE'S YOUR BONES, TONY. OKAY, BONES--BONES! WHAT'S THE MATTER FOR YOU, JOE? I BREAK-A YOUR FACE-A. TONIGHT, BUTCH, HE'S A-GET A-BEST IN-A HOUSE! OKAY, TONY. YOU THE BOSS. NOW, TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR PLEASURE? A LA CARTE? DINNER? (BARKS) AHA, OKAY. HEY, JOE! BUTCH-A, HE SAYS HE WANTS-A TWO SPAGHETTIE SPECIALLE. HEAVY ON-A MEATS-A-BALL-A. TONY, DOGS DON'T TALK. - HE'S A-TALKIN' TO ME! - OKAY, HE'S A-TALKIN' TO YOU. YOU THE BOSS. MAMMA MIA. (MUTTERS) NOW, HERE YOU ARE-A. THE BEST-A SPAGHETTI IN-A TOWN. (SLURPS) (ACCORDION) # OH, THIS IS THE NIGHT # IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT # AND WE CALL IT BELLA NOTTE # LOOK AT THE SKIES # THEY HAVE STARS IN THEIR EYES # ON THIS LOVELY BELLA NOTTE # SIDE BY SIDE # WITH YOUR LOVED ONE # YOU'LL FIND ENCHANTMENT HERE # THE NIGHT WILL WEAVE ITS MAGIC SPELL # WHEN THE ONE YOU LOVE IS NEAR # FOR THIS IS THE NIGHT # AND THE HEAVENS ARE RIGHT # ON THIS LOVELY # BELLA NOTTE (CHORUS) # THIS IS THE NIGHT # IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT # AND WE CALL IT # BELLA NOTTE # LOOK AT THE SKIES # THEY HAVE STARS IN THEIR EYES # ON THIS LOVELY # BELLA NOTTE # SIDE BY SIDE WITH YOUR LOVED ONE # YOU'LL FIND ENCHANTMENT HERE # THE NIGHT WILL WEAVE ITS MAGIC SPELL # WHEN THE ONE YOU LOVE IS NEAR # FOR THIS IS THE NIGHT # AND THE HEAVENS ARE RIGHT # ON THIS LOVELY # BELLA NOTTE # (ROOSTER CROWING) (CROWING CONTINUES) OH! OH, DEAR. - IS SOMETHING WRONG, PIGE? - IT'S MORNING. YEAH. MMM! SO IT IS. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOME HOURS AGO. WHY? BECAUSE YA STILL BELIEVE IN THAT "EVER FAITHFUL OLD DOG TREY" ROUTINE? OH, COME ON, PIGE. OPEN UP YOUR EYES. OPEN MY EYES? TO WHAT A DOG'S LIFE CAN REALLY BE. SHOW YA WHAT I MEAN. LOOK DOWN THERE. TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE. WELL, I SEE NICE HOMES WITH YARDS AND FENCES-- EXACTLY. LIFE ON A LEASH. LOOK AGAIN, PIGE. LOOK, THERE'S A GREAT BIG HUNK OF WORLD DOWN THERE... WITH NO FENCE AROUND IT... WHERE TWO DOGS CAN FIND ADVENTURE AND EXCITEMENT... AND BEYOND THOSE DISTANT HILLS WHO KNOWS WHAT WONDERFUL EXPERIENCES. AND IT'S ALL OURS FOR THE TAKING, PIGE. IT'S ALL OURS. IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL. BUT? BUT WHO'D WATCH OVER THE BABY? YOU WIN. COME ON. I'LL TAKE YA HOME. (MAN WHISTLING) (HUMMING) # IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT # AND THEY CALL IT BELLA-- # (CHICKENS CLUCKING) NOT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT, BUT, UM... EVER CHASE CHICKENS? I SHOULD SAY NOT. OH, HO! THEN YOU'VE NEVER LIVED! BUT WE SHOULDN'T. I KNOW. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FUN. AW, COME ON, KID. START BUILDING SOME MEMORIES. BUT WE--WE WON'T HURT THE CHICKENS? HURT 'EM? NO. WE'LL JUST STIR 'EM UP A BIT. JUST LOOK AT THOSE FAT, LAZY BIDDIES. THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN UP HOURS AGO. (BARKING) (CHICKENS SHRIEKING) (CLUCKING) SOME FUN, EH, KID? (MAN) HEY! WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN THERE? WHAT'S THAT? THAT'S THE SIGNAL TO GET GOING. COME ON! (SHOTGUN BLASTS) WHEE! THIS IS LIVIN', EH, KID? IS IT? COME ON, PIGE. FOLLOW ME. YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF BIRD DOG IN ALL OF US, EH, PIGE? PIGE? PIGE? PIGE? WHERE ARE YA, PIGE? PIGE! PIGEON! OH, PIGE! (BARKING, HOWLING) (HOWLING) (HOWLING) (ALL HOWLING) (HOWLING) (HOWLING) (MUTTERS, SMACKS LIPS) (HOWLING CONTINUES) (HOWLING CONTINUES) (HOWLING CONTINUES) (BARKS, HOWLS) (HOWLING CONTINUES) (SNIFFLING) (WHIMPERING) HEY, HEY, DACHSIE, HOW WE COMIN'? JUST ONE MORE CHORUS AND WE'RE OUT. OKAY, ON A DOWNBEAT. ONE, TWO-- (CLICKING) (DOOR CREAKING) (MAN) PUT HER IN NUMBER FOUR, BILL, WHILE I CHECK HER LICENSE NUMBER. OKAY. (RATTLING, CREAKING) ALL RIGHT, BABY, IN HERE. WELL, WELL, LOOK YOUSE GUYS, MISS PARK AVENUE HERSELF. (COCKNEY ACCENT) BLIMEY, A REGULAR BLOOMIN' "DEBUTANTEE." YEAH, AND QUITE THE CROWN JEWEL SHE'S WEARIN'. YEAH. WHAT YA IN FOR, SWEETHEART? PUTTIN' FLEAS ON THE BUTLER? (LAUGHS) (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING CONTINUES) ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS. LAY OFF, WILL YA? WHAT'S THE MATTER, PEG? WE WAS ONLY HAVIN' A BIT OF SPORT, WE WAS. CAN'T YA SEE THE POOR KID'S SCARED ENOUGH ALREADY? (RUSSIAN ACCENT) PAY NO ATTENTION, MY LITTLE OCHI CHERNYE. THAT'S RIGHT, DEARIE. THEY DON'T MEAN NO REAL HARM. IS LIKE GORKY SAYS IN LOWER DEPTHS: "MISERABLE BEING MUST FIND MORE MISERABLE BEING... THEN IS HAPPY." BORIS IS A PHILOSOPHER. BESIDES, LITTLE "BUBLICHKI," WEARING LICENSE HERE-- THAT IS LIKE WAVING-- YOU SHOULD EXCUSE THE EXPRESSION-- RED FLAG IN FRONT OF BULL. MY LICENSE? BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT? THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' WRONG WITH IT, DEARIE. CONFIDENTIAL. IS NOT ONE DOG HERE WOULD NOT GIVE LEFT HIND LEG FOR SUCH A KNICKKNACK. THAT'S YOUR PASSPORT TO FREEDOM, HONEY. WITHOUT IT-- (CLANGING) HEY. HEY, HEY, YOUSE GUYS, LOOK. POOR NUTSY IS TAKIN' THE LONG WALK. WHERE IS HE TAKING HIM? THROUGH THE ONE-WAY DOOR, SISTER. (DOOR CREAKING) YOU--YOU MEAN, HE'S-- OH, WELL, A SHORT LIFE AND A MERRY ONE. YEP, THAT'S WHAT THE TRAMP ALWAYS SAYS. THE TRAMP? THERE'S A BLOKE WHAT NEVER GETS CAUGHT. HE'S GIVEN THE SLIP TO EVERY DOG CATCHER IN THIS BURG. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS, DEARIE, BUT NO MATTER HOW TIGHT A JAM HE'S IN, THAT TRAMP ALWAYS FINDS SOME WAY OUT. I CAN QUITE EASILY BELIEVE THAT. BUT, REMEMBER, MY FRIENDS, EVEN TRAMP HAS HIS ACHILLES HEEL. (LATINO ACCENT) PARDON ME, AMIGO. WHAT IS THIS "CHILI HEEL"? ACHILLES HEEL, PEDRO. THIS IS MEANING HIS, UH, WEAKNESSES. OH, OH, THE DAMES, YEAH! HE HAS AN EYE FOR A WELL-TURNED PAW, HE HAS. LET'S SEE, THERE'S BEEN LULU. YEAH, AND TRIXIE. (DACHSIE) AND FIFI. AND MY SISTER, ROSITA CHIQUITA JUANITA CHIHUAHUA, I THINK. WHAT A DOG. YEAH! TELL US ABOUT IT, PEG. WHAT A DOG! PEG USED TO BE IN THE DOG AND PONY FOLLIES. # HE'S A TRAMP # BUT THEY LOVE HIM # BREAKS A NEW HEART # EVERY DAY # HE'S A TRAMP # THEY ADORE HIM # AND I ONLY HOPE # HE'LL STAY THAT WAY # HE'S A TRAMP (HOWLING) # HE'S A SCOUNDREL # HE'S A ROUNDER (WHINING) # HE'S A CAD # HE'S A TRAMP # BUT I LOVE HIM # YES, EVEN I HAVE GOT IT PRETTY BAD (HOWLING) # YOU CAN NEVER TELL WHEN HE'LL SHOW UP (HOWLING, BARKS) # HE GIVES YOU PLENTY OF TROUBLE # (WHINING) # I GUESS HE'S JUST A NO-COUNT PUP # BUT I WISH THAT HE WERE DOUBLE # HE'S A TRAMP # HE'S A ROVER # BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, RUFF # AND THERE'S NOTHIN' MORE TO SAY # BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, RUFF # IF HE'S A TRAMP # HE'S A GOOD ONE # AND I WISH THAT I COULD TRAVEL HIS WAY # WISH THAT I COULD TRAVEL HIS WAY # WISH THAT I COULD TRAVEL HIS WAY # YEAH, BUT HE NEVER TAKES 'EM SERIOUS. AH, BUT SOME DAY HE IS MEETING SOMEONE DIFFERENT, SOME DELICATE FRAGILE CREATURE... WHO IS GIVING HIM A WISH TO SHELTER AND PROTECT. LIKE MISS PARK AVENUE HERE, EH, MATEY? MMM, COULD BE. BUT WHEN HE DOES-- YEAH, I'M WAY AHEAD OF YA. UNDER THE SPELL OF TRUE LOVE-- THE POOR CHUMP GROWS CARELESS-- THE COSSACKS ARE PICKING HIM UP-- AND IT'S CURTAINS FOR THE TRAMP. (DOOR OPENS) (MAN) IT'S THE LITTLE COCKER, BILL, IN NUMBER FOUR. OKAY. ALL RIGHT, BABY. THEY'VE COME TO TAKE YA HOME. YOU'RE TOO NICE A GIRL TO BE IN THIS PLACE. (DOOR CREAKS) # THIS IS THE NIGHT 1 COURAGE, MAN. COURAGE! BUT I'VE NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED MATRIMONY. NOR I... BUT NO MATTER WHICH OF US SHE ACCEPTS, WE'LL ALWAYS BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS. NOW, REMEMBER, NOT A WORD ABOUT HER UNFORTUNATE EXPERIENCE. YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS. UH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. LASSIE! MISS LADY, MA'AM. PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYBODY. NOW, NOW, LASSIE. DO NOT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT IT. OF COURSE NOT, MISS LADY. WHY, SOME OF THE FINEST PEOPLE I EVER TRACKED DOWN WERE JAILBIRDS. QUIET! YOU GREAT LOONY! UH, PLEASE, LASSIE, UH, WE'VE COME WITH A PROPOSITION FOR HELPIN' YA. HELP ME? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL, NOW, YOU SEE, LASSIE, NEITHER OF US IS AS YOUNG AS WE USED TO BE. BUT WE'RE STILL IN THE PRIME OF LIFE. AYE, AND WE BOTH GOT VERY COMFORTABLE HOMES. THAT'S RIGHT. WHERE WE KNOW YOU'LL BE WELCOME AND APPRECIATED, MISS LADY. SO TO COME DIRECTLY TO THE POINT-- (CLEARS THROAT) IF YOU COULD, UH, FIND IT POSSIBLE... TO, UH, TO, UH-- YOU'RE BOTH VERY KIND, AND I DO APPRECIATE IT, BUT-- OH, PIGEON! OH, PIGE-- OH! HI, BOYS. ANYTHING NEW IN THE KENNEL CLUB SET? (LAUGHS) LITTLE SOMETHING I PICKED UP FOR YA, PIGE. HMPH! LOOKS LIKE I'M THE ONE THAT'S IN THE DOGHOUSE. IF THIS PERSON IS ANNOYIN' YOU, MISS LADY-- WE'LL GLADLY THROW THE RASCAL OUT! THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY. THANK YOU. VERY WELL, MA'AM. YOU--YOU MONGREL! AW, COME ON, PIGE. IT WASN'T MY FAULT. HMPH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE RIGHT BEHIND ME. HONEST! WHEN I HEARD THEY'D TAKEN YOU TO THE POUND-- OH! DON'T EVEN MENTION THAT HORRIBLE PLACE. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED AND--AND FRIGHTENED. OH, NOW, NOW, NOW. WHO COULD EVER HARM A CUTE LITTLE TRICK LIKE YOU? TRICK? TRICK! THAT'S REMINDS ME. WHO IS TRIXIE? TRIXIE? AND LULU? AND FIFI? AND ROSITA CHIQUITA-- WHATEVER HER NAME IS? CH-CHIQUITA-- OH! OH, YES, WELL, I-- AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU NEEDN'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR OLD HEEL. M-M--MY HEEL? I DON'T NEED YOU TO SHELTER AND PROTECT ME. YES, BUT--BUT-- IF YOU GROW CARELESS, DON'T BLAME ME. AND I DON'T CARE IF THE COSSACKS DO PICK YOU UP. GOOD-BYE! AND TAKE THIS WITH YOU! (THUNDERCLAP) (THUNDER RUMBLING) (SOBBING) (BOARD THUDS) (THUNDERCLAP) (GROWLING) (BARKING) (BARKING) (THUNDERCLAP) (BARKING CONTINUES) (BARKING CONTINUES) STOP THAT! HUSH NOW! HUSH! (BARKING CONTINUES) STOP THAT RACKET! WHAT'S WRONG, PIGE? A RAT! WHERE? UPSTAIRS, IN THE BABY'S ROOM. HOW DO I GET IN? THE LITTLE DOOR ON THE PORCH. (THUNDERCLAP) (SNIFFING) (GROWLING) (GROWLS) (BARKS) (SQUEAKS) (GROWLING) (BARKING) (THUNDERCLAP) (SQUEAKING) (BABY CRYING) (CRYING) (BABY CRYING, COOING) (GASPS) MERCIFUL HEAVENS! OH, YOU POOR LITTLE DARLING. NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW. THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE NOT HURT. YOU--YOU VICIOUS BRUTES! BACK! GET BACK! GO ON! GET BACK! THE POUND! THE POUND! THAT'S IT. I'LL CALL THE POUND. (BARKING) COME HERE, YOU. COME HERE! COME ON, COME ON. COME ALONG! I'LL CALL THEM THIS MINUTE. (YELPS) COULDN'T SLEEP A WINK WITH THAT BRUTE IN THE HOUSE. (PHONE BELL DINGING) HELLO! HELLO! (WHIMPERING) I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE ALONE THERE, YOUNG MAN. I INSIST YOU PICK HIM UP IMMEDIATELY. (TRAIN BELL CLANGING) DARLING, LOOK. AND IF YOU WANT MY ADVICE, YOU'LL DESTROY THAT ANIMAL AT ONCE. DON'T WORRY, MA'AM. WE'VE BEEN AFTER THIS ONE FOR MONTHS. WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM. (DARLING) WELL, WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE-- SAY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? JUST PICKIN' UP A STRAY, MISTER. COME ON! GET UP! (WHIP CRACKS) CAUGHT HIM ATTACKIN' A BABY. GOOD HEAVENS! MY BABY! AUNT SARAH! AUNT SARAH! AUNT SARAH! AUNT SARAH! AUNT SARAH! I WAS CERTAIN HE WAS NO GOOD THE MOMENT I FIRST LAID EYES ON HIM. YEAH, BUT, UH, I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D DO A THING LIKE THAT. (AUNT SARAH) THANK GOODNESS I GOT THERE IN TIME. THERE THEY WERE, CRIB OVERTURNED-- (JIM) I'M SURE THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE. I KNOW LADY WOULDN'T-- (AUNT SARAH) WATCH OUT! THAT DOG'S LOOSE! KEEP HER AWAY! (JIM) NONSENSE. SHE'S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT, OLD GIRL? (BARKING) WHAT ARE YOU TRYING-- DARLING, AUNT SARAH, COME HERE! WHAT IS IT, JIM? (GASPS) A RAT! A RAT? WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. I MISJUDGED HIM...BADLY. COME ON. WE GOT TO STOP THAT WAGON. BUT, MAN, WE DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY THEY'VE GONE. WE'LL TRACK 'EM DOWN. A-A-AND THEN? WE'LL HOLD 'EM. HOLD 'EM AT BAY. (SNIFFING) NOW WHAT? THE SCENT. FOLLOW THE SCENT. (SIGHS) LET'S FACE IT, MAN. WE BOTH KNOW YOU'VE LOST YOUR SENSE OF SMELL. (SNORTS) (SNIFFING RESUMES) (BAYING) (BAYING CONTINUES) (BAYING RESUMES) (BAYING CONTINUES) (BAYING CONTINUES) (BARKING) GO ON! GET OUTTA HERE! GO ON, YOU! GET AWAY! (BARKING CONTINUES) (WHINNYING) (BARKING CONTINUES) GO ON! GET AWAY! WATCH IT NOW! WATCH IT! WATCH IT! (HORN HONKING) (CROWD MURMURING) (TYRES SCREECHING) HI, PIGE. (WHIMPERING) (WHIMPERING CONTINUES) (SNIFFLES) (HOWLING) (JIM) ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. WATCH THE BIRDIE. (RATTLING) (GROWLING) (SQUEAKING) STEADY NOW. (RATTLING) HOLD IT. (POPPING SOUND, COUGHING) I GUESS I USED A LITTLE TOO MUCH. UH-OH. DARLING. VISITORS. VISITORS? (DARLING) WHY, IT'S JOCK. (JIM) AND GOOD OLD TRUSTY. CAREFUL NOW, MAN. CAREFUL. IT'S A WEE BIT SLIPPERY. YES, YES. (BARKING) (JIM) ALL RIGHT, BOY. WE'LL LET 'EM IN. (GROWLING) NO, NO, NOT YOU, YOUNG MAN. YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE A NAP. WELL, MERRY CHRISTMAS! COME IN! COME IN! IF YOU'LL JUST STEP INTO THE PARLOUR, I'LL SEE ABOUT REFRESHMENTS. OH, DARLING, WHERE DID YOU PUT THE DOG BISCUITS? YOU KNOW, THE BOX AUNT SARAH SENT FOR CHRISTMAS. IN THE KITCHEN, JIM DEAR. OH, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THEY'VE GOT THEIR MOTHER'S EYES. AYE. (GROWLING) (CHUCKLES) BUT THERE'S A BIT OF THEIR FATHER IN 'EM TOO. WELL... AND I SEE YOU FINALLY ACQUIRED A COLLAR. OH, YES, COMPLETE WITH LICENSE. OH, YEAH, A NEW COLLAR. CAUGHT THE SCENT THE MOMENT I CAME IN THE HOUSE. (GROWLING) "TRUSTY," I SAYS-- "TRUSTY, SOMEBODY'S WEARIN' A NEW COLLAR." OF COURSE, NOW, MY SENSE OF SMELL IS VERY HIGHLY DEVELOPED. RUNS IN THE FAMILY, YOU KNOW? THERE'LL BE NO LIVIN' WITH HIM FROM NOW ON. AS MY GRANDPAPPY, OLD RELIABLE, USED TO SAY-- I DON'T RECOLLECT IF I'VE EVER MENTIONED OLD RELIABLE BEFORE. (TOGETHER) NO, YOU HAVEN'T, UNCLE TRUSTY. HUH? I HAVEN'T? WELL, UH, AS OLD RELIABLE USED TO SAY-- HE'D SAY, UH, UH-- HE'D SAY, UH-- UH-- HMM? DOGGONE. (CHUCKLES) YOU KNOW, I CLEAN FORGOT WHAT IT WAS HE USED TO SAY. (LAUGHS) (CHORUS) # PEACE, MY CHILDREN # OF GOODWILL # PEACE, MY CHILDREN # PEACE # BE STILL # CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. ABLE 2015