Auckland - where new money meets old, and attitude is everything. Yes. Fabulous. To buy a home here, you have to have cash. Looking around that 7-mil mark. But money alone won't open every door. I'm everything you're not. You're the little rum! Ifs all about how you earn ii. I thought, 'here's a bloody gold-digger.' (CHUCKLES) And, more importantly - how you spend it. < $4000! $65,000. In the City of Sails, if you know the right people, you can weather any storm. My hands are wiped clean of this one. I think you got them a little dirty, baby. I do not see any kind of kumbaya moment happening. But if you can't navigate the waters,“. So full of shit! Excuse me? ALL ...you had better batten down the hatches. You know what I'm hearing about you? Not a <BLEEP>irlg thing. Skin we can clear up. Drama - not so much. The Real Housewives of Auckland - proudly brought to you by Proactiv, the clear skin experts. Clear skin starts wiih you. If people are talking behind your back, then you're the one in front. I usediostmtmystuffonthe catwalk. Now I'm a model housewife. I made my money the old-fashioned way - I inherited it. My name be stone, but everything I touch turns to gold. BEL OHIMES I never start a fight I can't win. I'm like a fine champagne - I bubble, I fizz, and I'm the life of the party. CqflcnnbyAlllDnyhn. Vlvnmblacom Olplloluwuanndopocalblo uMmnGImflumNZOnAk. OOWIIIIADIQ 2016 Pl-IOBERINGS Louise, hi. Hi, neighbour. How are you? Oh, had a bit of a sleepless night last night. Little kids - you've been there. Gilda and I are neighbours. She's super-smart, super-stylish, and she's always seen at the best events in town. Hey, I want to ask you to the TK Fashion Show. Is it sold out? Anybody who's anybodys going to be there. I think you'll really enjoy it. Auckland is a fantastic city. There's always something going on. I don't really get to go out as often as I used to, so a phone call from her is, like, yes! Bring ii on, girlfriend. I suppose when people think of Louise Wallace, they think, 'Oh, that old bitch.' Well, they can think what they like. It doesn't worry me. I think the people still know me the best for The Weakest Link. Welcome to The Weakest Link! You are the Weakest Link. Goodbye. Nobody has ever forgotten that line. One other small incident where we had Paul in the telephone scene... I've got my own theatre company, Tadpole Theaire Productions. I think when people hear that I have a theatre company, and that I'm acting in plays, they think, 'Oh, poor darling. Just, you know, having a bash, being on the stage, poor love.' 'uNhat about the f-word? Has anybody been worried about that? Oh, yes. We've already had a couple of complaints... We live in Auckland's most prestigious street - Paritai Drive. It's absolutely beautiful. My parents built this house in 1977, Both my father and grandfather were self-made men, so, yeah, I did inherit a bit of money. As my mother used to say - she said, 'Lou, you never wanna try to keep up urith the Joneses - 'we are the Joneses.' How are you? Good. I do have a lot of help in my life. I'm very, very lucky. Ooh, good. Those for me? Yeah, for your dinner tonight. Oh, fantastic. I have my gardener, Christine, who's an absolute dag. You've got some rosemary if you're doing lamb tonight. How do you know I'm doing lamb? You always do lamb. (LAUGHS) Come on! It's the only thing I can cook. (LAUGHS) I know. I know. I have my ironing lady, my pool boy; I have my home handyman and builder; I have the guy who looks after the lawn. (LAUGHS) Urn, and ihen there's me. What do I do? Obviously not a lot. 800W? Mm-hm? Yeah? I'm having a wardrobe catastrophe, and I need your help, OK? Yeah, yep. I've been married to Sootty for 33 years. 'UNhen I first met him, he was a competitive rugby player. Had the thighs to match. This, which I love. Do you think it's too, sort of, daytime? Uh, are you gonna put them on? No. No. Oh. Gotta- Gotta imagine that I'm the hanger. OK. So- But this one, sometimes, when I- on. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) I think what makes Sootty ideal for me is he doeslfl want to be the star as well. Like, there's only one star in this family, as far as I'm concerned, and that's me. We got engaged and married at 23, so what's changed? Tinder. (LAUGHS) Tinder? Oh God. We've got two kids. Ashley, she is nearly 25, and Guy's nearly 22. You wouldn't want to be with somebody who shagged a whole lot of guys, would you? Uh, no, Mum. < (LAUGHS) SMOOTH TEOl-NO MUSIC LIVELY CHATTER MUSIC CONTIMJES I've invited Gilda and a few friends down to the TK Fashion Show down at Soul Bar at the Viaduct, and it's gonna be pretty glitzy. It's a ticket affair, and, of course, I've got the top table. Gilda came from Iran to Auckland years and years ago, and she burst onto the social scene. She was the veritable Persian Princess. Hi, Gilda! How are you, my sweetheart? Good to see you. Great to see you too. Oh my God. 'aNhat a fabulous function. Thanks for inviting me. That's OK. Gilda married James Kirkpatrick, one of the wealthiest men in Auckland. She was in her late 20s, and he was in his 70s. It had the tongues wagging. Gildds now divorced. She has two children, but they are still very close. Cheers. Cheers to the neighbourhood. Absolutely. Cheers to you. My name is Gilda Kirkpatrick, and I live in Paritai Drive. I love going out. I love parties, and I love social media. But there's more to me than that. I am an architect by trade, but I have an advertising and marketing agency. Wedoalotofworkin digital social media. I always keep myself occupied and busy and productive. CLATTER I have two children. Lucan is Z-and-a-half years old, and Kyan is 7 months old. (GABBLES) Lucan, look! He's coming to get your horsie. Oh no. Oh no! (GABBLES) Do you wanna give him a ride on your horsie? Yeah. I didn't want children until I hit 39, and I've never made any decisions in my life that I've regretted, so I kind of felt that I needed to really think about it. I think that's the best decision I've ever made. I had a very dynamic childhood. When I was about 6 years old, we had a revolution in Iran, and very soon after, Iran got attacked by Iraq. This massive war went on for eight years. Ii changes your whole perspective, and the way you look at life. It's not all about ponies and rainbows and butterflies. It becomes real. FIMKY DANCE MUSIC I've invited two other girls to join us at the TK Fashion Show. How are you? Good to see you. Now, you know Gilda, don't you? Hi, hi. We've, uh, met a couple of times. First to arrive is Julia Sloane. She's very well known in the Auckland social scene, and she is newly married. Ifs been a while. You're looking fantastic. Thank you. Yeah, you're looking gorgeous. It's not too red, is it? No, it looks fantastic. No, you look like a- you look like a bomb, girl. My name is Julia Sloane. I live in Parnell, and I like looking good. I can walk into a room, and people are going to look at me. I like that. Hello, darling. Sid! Oh my God, how are you? My days are full of appointments - waxing, Botox, manicure, pedicure. Appointments are completely full-time jobs. I've got to just look absolutely fabulous. (LAUGHS) You always look fabulous, darling. Let's do something edgy. This is why I invite you round, Sid! And I've done a lot of TV commercials. 'SOIPOPINSIO I'm wondering whether I need to get some fillers or... So you're nodding?! Well... Sid, Sid, you're nodding! Everyone needs it! (LAUGHS) You're nodding! I was married to Dunbar Sloane, who's a well-known art-and-antiques dealer, and we have two children together - Dunbar and Eleanor. I take my son on an adventure holiday just about every year. A month ago, I said, 'Let's go to Peru and do the Inca Trail.' So we did. My daughter, Eleanor, she's unfortunately got rather an obsession with shopping. She actually turned down Peru to go shopping in Neurmarket urith her friends. Ells, this is kind of cute on me. Ifs a bit shorter than your usual. Hey, I know. I've got the legs. Do you? Y-Yes! (LAUGHS) Don't be mean to your mother. She's at that age now where she believes that she knows best, particularly when ii comes to fashion and labels. I carfl walk out of the house now urithout her saying, 'Mum, what are you doing?' SMOOTH TEOl-NO MUSIC I recently got married to Michael. He's a little bit older than me, but we have so much in common, including a passion for art. Oh, Fran, look at the Henryk! I'm just wondering whether it's going to be big enough. I've got no idea how much we spend on an. That's Michael's area. We're going to order one to come in - that's a little bit bigger, and it'll probably fit perfectly - to have a look at. And a little bit more expensive? Well, maybe slightly. But only about 40, 45. Something like that. (LAUGHS) om My husband always says he's economically rational, and he is, actually. We buy what we like, but he's not going to pay over the top for anything. That's fine. Whoo-hool (LAUGHS) IPBEATDANOE IMJSIO LIGHT OHMTER And who's number four? Angela Stone. Do you know her? I've heard of her. We know friends- we've got friends in common. Well, Angela, she's right into fashion. She's a stylist, very confident, and, yeah, she'll give us all a run for our money, I would think. (LAUGHS) Looking forward to it. I love meeting new people. Oh, yes, yes. So do I. Coming up on... I just couldn't take it all in. The higher your neckline, ihe larger your bust will look. LOUISE: She would not stop talking. I dress ladies for a living. All I hear is about what you do, and I think you should talk less. She was one scary girl. TBJSENOTE waiting for our final guest, Angela Stone, who is a fashion stylist. QUIRKY IMJSIO Angela, when she walks into a room, is like a ship in full sail, and she wears cream quite a lot, so she does look like a sail. She's not overweight, but she's a big unit. CHATTER I think so, yes. I think so- Oh my God! Here she is. Hi, ladies. How are ya? Angela, hello. How are you? So nice to see you. Mwah. Lovely to see you too. And you too! Yeah, now come and sit down. I'll introduce you. Thank you. This is Gilda. Hi, Gilda, I'm Angela. Nice to meet you. How are you- and you too! Angela arrives, and wow. Beautiful, tall, a lot of energy. I thought she's amazing. And Julia. Hi! Lovely to meet you. Mwah. And you too. Lovely that you could join us. (CHUCKLES) Thank you. Louise, I wanted to, urn, bring you all a wee gift tonight. Ooh! That's very kind. Well, I thought, as a fashion stylist - it's just a little thank you. Thank you for you all. Thank you for inviting me. Wow. Great coffee-table reading. I've just been given a book on how to style myself. Do I really need that? (LAUGHS) I don't think so. You're not suggesting I need any style tips by this, are you? (LAUGHS) No, not at all. I'm not about to get offended? I thought I would take my book along and just say, 'Hey, girls, here's a book.' I know I haverfl met you before, but this is who I am. I take gifts for my friends wherever I go. Oh, thank you, Angela. Lovely. My name is Angela Stone. I'm from Christchurch. Over the last five years, I've been living one week in Auckland, one week in Christchurch. Mostly because, you know, I want to take rny business nationwide. I'm a serial commuter. This is gonna bring the animal out in you, isn't it? (LAUGHS) Yes, I love it. That my winter- my winter purchase. Such a good colour for you. I describe myself as a life stylist. I truly believe you are what you wear. It's a reflection of how you feel about yourself, and how you would like other people to perceive you. FIMKY DANCE MUSIC Start from the front and apply to the back. Yeah, that is- that is good. I'm still a model, even at my age. < Yep. That's perfect. Now that I'm in my 40s, I feel that it's my duty to encourage women to love themselves for who they are. That's what I'm all about EARTHYFLUTE MUSIC I'm really spiritual, and I live to make the most of every single moment. My day kind of starts with meditation. I find myself in nature. I feel so happy to be there. Ifs amazing. QUIRKY STRING INSIO I'm gonna cook you girls a beautiful dinner tonight. Good, because Dad's meatballs are getting old. (CHUCKLES) (LAUGHS) I've raised five children - two stepchildren and three with my former husband. They're all in Christchurch, and I get to see them every second week. They're why I do what I do. I want my children to have an extraordinary life, just like I always wanted to have as a young child. Hey, how's school going? Everything8 been so boring this term. I wanna oorne to Auckland more. Finding that balance between being a mother and being a businessmnroman - it's a juggle. I just wanna keep my business going, but when your kids actually say, 'Hey mum, I need you right now,' that's enough. (LAUGHS) I get it. So, what do you think the main difference is, style-arise, between Christchurch and Auckland? I find women dress very- uh, they're quite relaxed. Lots of tunics. Lots of chiffon. Like, sparkly jandals, big, long caftans. They're beautiful, but- In Auckland? Sparkly jandals and caftans? Yeah. Where do you hang in Auckland? (LAUGHS) In Newmarket. LOUISE: 0h, OK. Yeah. Thank you. Cheers. Very good meeting you. I'd like to see you in sparkly jandals. SMOOTH ELECTRONICA IMJSIO I won't be wearing ihai. Neither will I. (LAUGHS) That would stop traffic. It would stop more than traffic. I love this. I love the clean lines. Everyone needs a greai black dress, don't they? I'm in the fashion industry. It is what I do. This is a chance to actually share my knowledge and expertise. So, wide pants. VVide pants are really in? VVide pants are back, absolutely. But, you know, you need the white shoes urith them, and you need to be reasonably tall as well. Uh, uh, I love it. We've got a live commentary on fashion. Of course you have. (LAUGHS) She's going to dress us from now on. I would love to. Angela never wants for something to say. In fact, sometimes, you carfl shut her up. And I'm just starting to worry that her constant commentary is sort of rubbing people up the wrong way. Gotta be a little bit careful on the bustline urith that. Black shirt and a white shirt. Everyone's gotta have one. I just couldn't take it all in. The higher the neckline, ihe larger your bust will look. It was just, like, meteoroids coming at you from everywhere. It was, like, pew, pew, pew. The lower the neckline, the smaller one looks. There's the tip for the night, girls. > FIRMLY: OK. L- I dress ladies for a living, and I have to say... My goodness! She would not stop talking. She has not come up for air. I actually run a teenage confidence styling course. Is there anything you don't do?! You do everything! You're a model, you style - VVho would you aspire to? I'm getting confused. Like, Martha Stewart, or...? Oprah. Oprah. Absolutely. So, would you like to be the Oprah of NZ? Absolutely. < OK. That is exactly it, Lou. I think- I think if you wanna be someone like Oprah, Just- as a, like, just as a tip, Because I do love Oprah. Sure. > I think you should kind of talk less... and allow other people to express more and, you know, get their stories out, because from the moment I met you, like, half an hour ago to now, all I hear is about what you do. Maybe that's something you wanna take on board. Thanks, Gilda. IPBEATPOP IMJSIO One of my best friends is Michelle Blanchard. She is fashionable, stylish. I love hanging out with her. She is so much fun. Hey, bib!!- (LAUGHS) Look at you! Well done. Good to see you. Oh my God! How are you? Really well. My name is Michelle Blanchard, and I live in Coaiesville. I love fashion. Oh, fashion's my thing. Love ii. I worked in fashion, did TV commercials, posters. Done quite a bit. I've got a nice body of work. Cup of tea? I'm married to David Blanchard, and we've been married 1 <i>7</i> years now. I came to NZ on holiday and stayed. Yeah, that's it. He wouldn't make the move; I had to make the move. 'UNhen is someone gonna turn up to put the handrails on the stairs, babe? Have you fallen down the staircase yet? We've lived in this house for two years. The renovatiorrs taken two years. See, this is just driving rne insane, darling. It's almost finished. It's a tricky job. It's not straight off the shelf. Are we using him again? I didlfl buy this handrail from Bunnings, Michelle. I- (SCOFFS) I know that. I made sure of that. I tried, but, you know... (LAUGHS) We've got two children - Curtis and Christelle. I do the washing; I do the cooking. I'm here for the kids. Here for the husband. That's what being a housewife is all about I live in the country, and it's not a farm. Absolutely not. I wouldn't live on a farm. Although, being in the country, you feel you need to have animals. We have the horses; we have the chickens; we have the dog. That's enough. I wouldn't have horses if it were my choice. I'm quite scared of them. Simple. Owl (LAUGHS) Oh God. You little monster! That is just so wrong. How many times has he kicked you? Never. He's kicked Dad before, but he likes me cos I actually spend time with him. So, I went to the TK Fashion Show. There was a girl called Angela. She's a fashion designer. A fashion designer? Kiuri fashion designer? Yes. I've never heard of her. She's a stylist also. A stylist? Oh, wow. Yes, and she's a life coach. DOUBTFULLY: OK... And she's an author of a book. She's everything! I don't know, but- She's just not Oprah. She's just not Oprah, but she's on the way to becoming one. (LAUGHS) Oh my God. Coming up on... Angela gave us all a style guide. I mean, what's the matter with people? Really, I secretly wanna meet her. Deserves a kiss, darling. We were just chatting away. She was suddenly crying. MICHELLE: What's the matter? You OK? LAID-BACK POP MUSIC I don't need an excuse to party, but this week, it's my birthday, and we're going to invite the girls for lunch. And, hey, a party's not a party without my oldest friend, Anne. Julia! (LAUGHS) Hi. How good to see you. You too. Mwah! Mwah! Glass of champagne? Anne is the Dame of Champagne, known as a Champagne lady. So, my champagne's waiting. Just as I like it. (CHUCKLES) Perfect. I'm a party girl. That's not the only reason I love you, Anne - for your champagne - but it's quite a big one. Oh, that's good. (LAUGHS) Champagne - the only drink a woman and drink and still remain beautiful. I'm Anne Batley Burton, Champagne Lady and the Cat Lady. Well, I'm Champagne Lady mainly because I drink a lot of it, I suppose. (LAUGHS) I'll just have a sip. Oh, I've had quite a few fianoes. In fact, I've lost count. Max, Terry, Michael - well, I married Michael. He was a darling - Julian, and then, of course, there's Richard. Sorry, I missed out two. There were seven. Well, doll, we're home! OK, cuddly-bear. You get the champagne, I'll get the music going. I've been married to Richard to 15 years. I call him the big cuddly-bear, and he calls me the little doll. We open all the French doors up, we put the music on full blast - hence the Noise Control coming from time to time. (LAUGHS) We really love to come home after going out for dinner and just party together. We have a home in Parnell, a villa in the south of France, And then there's our country estate, Goose Creek. My biggest challenge I'm facing at the moment is getting my husband to accept a few more stray pussies. Hi, Cathy. Hi, Anne. I've set up an enclosure - a sanctuary, basically - and ifs a pensioner palace for pussies. (LAUGHS) Little 'ahfhisky! Hello, boy. How's my special boy'? This is for abandoned cats, stray cats - cats that are basically unhomeable. How's my little caregiver, eh? You're a good boy. You're a lovely boy, eh? I have got so many cats. You wouldn't believe ii. Hey, VVhisky, you're snagging my stockings. How am I gonna go to lunch after this? I love pussies because they're so independent. They go their own way. They never come when they're called. In fact, when I think about it, I was probably a pussy in a previous life. Alan! And then I have Ellen, who's the farm manager. Alan! Alan! I'm here, Anne! I need to talk to you urgently about the growth! And he goes out of his way to do a lot of things that he wouldni normally need to do. Alan? < Yes, Anne? Um, also, these glasses need polishing a bit more. Pardon? > The glasses. The glasses need polishing. Alan sees me as a sister, I'm sure. Apart from the fact that I'm always telling him what to do - then he sees me as an employer. (LAUGHS) But, you know, if he's really good, he does get a glass of champagne every now and again. Yeah, just be careful. Don't break them. I know what you men are like. Anne, I have done these before. All right, darling. That's OK. I know you're so busy, but I'll love you i0 come to my birthday. Of course I'll be there. Would I miss it? (LAUGHS) I'm so looking forward to it. Anne was born into wealth and privilege, and she was brought up with huge etiquette. She has very strong beliefs, and she's got very strong views, and everything has to bejust right. I hate it when people go like this. You'd think they were clutching a beer glass. I mean, for God's sake. It needs to be held by the stern... Yes, I know, but- melegantly so it doeslfl warm up. I mean, what's the matter with people? Anne is so over the top with her champagne. You know, tell me once. You dorfl need to tell me all the time how to hold my wine glass. What have you been up to? But Angela, as soon as she sat down - and she didlfl even know the other girls that well - she gave us all a book, a style guide, that she'd written. Oh, really? But you don't really give Gilda and Louise style guides. Cos that was the first time I've actually properly met Gilda. 'UNhat do you think of her'? Cos she seemed to be quite forthright. She's very forthright. Is she? > 0h, God, yes. Ex-husband now. Ex-husband. Yeah, of course it is. Yeah. Thai- Well, it's huge, isn't it? I did find it surprising that such a young, gorgeous thing was married to a man so many years older than her. So she's probably had quite a bit of flak about- had to live with that. I would imagine so. Maybe she's just defensive, then. Maybe she's just developed a bit of a shell around her. Mm. I mean, because people do say things. Let's face it. That she's a... (VVHISPERS) gold-digger. WHISPERS: Gold-digger. LOUDER: Did you say that word, Julia? BOTHLAUGH Is she a gold-diggefl Who knows. You'll have to ask her. I couldn't believe Anne called Gilda a gold-digger. I mean, maybe she thinks I'm a gold-digger as well. BRIGHT TEOl-NO MUSIC During the week, Michael and I live in our apartment in Parnell, but on the weekends, we go to our vineyard in Matakana. Ifs gorgeous. I love entertaining up there. OOVVSIIOO Comoomyoublgflfi-lo. Nolyoufllulla. I think Michael wants to come to my birthday lunch, but I really just want the girls, so I've gotta let him down gently. Because, after all, he still has to pay for it. Now, this party's going to be the six of you girls. Why can't the boys come? I- I thought you might need to work to pay for the party, darling. No, I think ii would be nice if the boys could come. Sweetheart, just remember who wears the pants in out relationship. Darling, darling, you need to understand - I pay for the pants, and I get into the pants. That's my role. (LAUGHS) No, it's gonna be fun. I'm really looking forward to it. I think I'm the perfect wife. I keep Michael happy, and I know how to do that. Coming up on... ANGELA: I'm not too sure what it's gonna be like, meeting Gilda again. GILDA: Hi, how are you, sweetheart? We're all just chatting away. She was suddenly crying. ANNE: I felt really angry for her. Like, whai do we do? What do we say? Are you OK? IPBEATPOP IMJSIO I hired a limo to take the girls to my birthday. Might as well go in style. Cheers. Happy birthday. Cheers. Hi! ANNE: Hi, Louise! How are you? Good to see you. (LAUGHS) You're looking gorgeous. Thank you. So, where are we going for lunch? It's not Asian, is it? Dorfl worry, you'll like it. LAUGHTER < Hi! < Hi, Angela. < How are you? Ooh, you're looking gorgeous. 'lNhy, thank you. I love you in red. Happy birthday. Wow. Oh, Ange was so gorgeous. She gave me a beautiful bunch of flowers. Oh, they're great Fantastic. What aboul Michelle and Gilda? I mean, how are we gonna fit them in? You don't think- They're not coming. They're not coming to the lunch? No, no, they're coming to the lunch, but I said- They're not gonna fly in by chopper'? (LAUGHS) Oh, no, they're gonna upstage us. How dare they. SIIOOTHBRASSIMJSIO Thank you, darling. Fabulous. Oh, there is the beast. Michelle and I are going to Julia's birthday lunch. However, we don't want to be packed in a limo like sardines. Good afternoon. ENGIE ROARS Pl-IOIEKEYPADOLIOKS Cani believe you're dragging rne as your tag-along today. Huh? Listen, it's not gonna be bad. Julia's really fun. You'll get on urith her. She's really sassy and funny. And Angela - well, I'll tell you all about Angela, so I'm just gonna let you feel your way around that. Thanks (I) I'd like to meet Angela. (CHUCKLES) Really, I secretly wanna meet her. Good thing it's not raining, girls. I know. I'm not too sure what it's gonna be like, meeting Gilda again. I'll just have to take one step at a time. “Moo-hoe! Oh, this looks gorgeous. The private dining room at Ostro is lovely. It's absolutely perfect, because it's not quite private. (CHUCKLES) People can still see us. We like that. I'd quite like to get to know this Michelle, since she's coming to my birthday. The only thing I know about Michelle is that she's one of Gilda's best friends. It does make me a little bit nervous. TEOl-NO DANCE MUSIC I'm really genuinely interested to see Angela. I really am hoping that she'll calm down a little and be just a bit more chilled. Do make sure that we stand up for our guests, worfl we? Oh, yes, we must do. We must stand up. Gilda didn't stand up and meet me at TK like most women would. Hi, Gilda. I'm Gilda. How are you? I'm Angela. How are you? Nice to meet you. And you too. I thought she was extremely rude. (SIGHS) Don't you just love this place? I love it. I love it, love it. Birthday girl, hi! Hi, girls. Happy birthday, honey. > Hello. GILDA: Hello, everyone. Hello. Hi. I'm Michelle. I'm Louise. Hi, Michelle. Nice to meet you. Hello, Louise. You too. Hi, Michelle, I'm Anne. Anne. The Champagne Lady. Champagne-? Love you already, darling. Nice to meet you. I'm Angela. Hi, beautiful. How are you? Nice to meet you. You too. Happy birthday. Hi, Gilda. Hi! How are you, sweetheart? Good to see you again. JULIA: I like Angela, but I just really dorfl want Angela to jeopardise my growing friendship with these othertwo girls. I think they're amazing. I want to get to know them. Thank you all for coming. Quickly need to say that. LOUISE: Thank you for inviting us. And lovely to meet you. You too. You too. ANNE: And why didn't you come wiih us in the limo? I don't do limos. I'm quite happy we didn't do a limo. ANNE: Oh, really? 'uNhy not? I don't like limousines. I ihink they're just tacky. Limousines are not tacky. Well, it depends what you're using them for. (LAUGHS) What did you used to do in the UK, Michelle? She's a model, and she's a- Yeah, I modelled. Who did you model fofl Klein. Because Ange used to model as well. Well, you still do, don't you? I do. I still do now. You still model? What, plus size, or... DRAKAFC NOTE No. (LAUGHS) > No, not at all. No? No, right, sorry. I'm just saying... A plus-size model is a size 16. I don't think I'm a size 16, and who actually really cares anyway? For God's sake, why would you say that? I felt really upset and angry for her. I mean, if it was me, I probably would have made a smart comment back. She has a womanly figure. That's who she is. So I don't think Michelle meant to offend, but it just came across as so mean. (CHUCKLES) So, who do you- who do you model fofl Do you model...? L- I'm actually the face of Tourism NZ. Is that right? Wow. So, I actually have an international campaign in the marketplace worldwide right new. Wow, OK. But I- I have modelling- What does Tourism NZ do with clothing? Do they...? Yeah, they- It's- It's modelling. It's modelling. Yeah, OK, sorry. I thought you mean, like, as a, you know, modelling. Yeah, I still do that as well. Like, on the catwalk, you mean? This? For a- For a tour... Yeah. Ifs called a catwalk. I'm a, like- You know what a catwalk is. My God, you've been to so many fashion shows. Little Miss Front-Row here. I used to model. I know! I know you did. Oh my God! Did you? VVho did you model for? I did too, actually, even though I'm tiny. I did modelling. I was waiting for at least one of you to ask me. I never did. I never did modelling. Dlclyoueverdorluoclelfilg? EXCITED OOI-IATTER No one is focused on me. Hello, it's my birthday! I've never, you know, really relied on my physical appearance. “My? You've probably always been judged by your physical appearance, I would think. No, no, it's, you know, because... So you dorfl use it? Is that what you're saying? You dorfl use your physical appearance? I'm not a actress; I'm not a, you know, model. So it's not part of my job that I have to be worried about, 'Oh my God, if I get fat or skinny or, 'you know, wrinkly or not.' I'm not going to lose my income. DISTANT CHATTER Are you all right? JULIA: Are you OK, darling? Are you OK, Ange? Honestly. We were all just chatting away - she was suddenly crying. What's- What's happened? What did we do? What did we say? Whai did God. CHAIR Tl-UDS She did seem genuinely upset. Maybe Angela is overworked at the moment. She's got a lot on her plate, and it all just was quite overwhelming for her. Is ii all right? Getting a bit... hot in here. I did to- There is something. ANNE: ldlckflsay aornelhiugunol-lgcllcll? BOTH No. TENSEIMJSIO It's not the plus-sized modelling? Thai was ages ago! Ii was ages ago. Are you OK? (SIGHS) I knew it. What has upset you? I'm just so tired, and, you know, when Michelle turned around and said to me, 'Are you a plus-sized model?' I think ii slipped out. I know I'm not. No, no, no. I'm not a plus-sized model. But you're beautiful. No, but I honestly don't think she meant- I think it was just a silly thing that came out of her mouth, and she'd only met you for the first time. She probably looked at you and thought, 'Holy crap, 'you're beautiful,' and, I dunno. Maybe she just didlfl know what to say to you. I think it was just a silly thing to say. I really dorfl think she meant to be a bitch. She might be just tired. Maybe it's just that time of the month. (LAUGHS) ll does happen. > Gilda, really! (LAUGHS) Too close to home, honey. Well, it happens to everyone, right? No, just- Oh. (LAUGHS) Bui, no, seriously, urn, yeah, we won't go down there. Um... I have no intention of going through menopause ever. My mother took, urn, hormone replacements until she was 83- 84, and then she died, and she looked a million dollars. So no way I'm going through menopause ever. I don't know whether they've decided to gang up on me or- No, I dorfl think so. I don't think they have. I don't know what is going on, guys. I live a very busy life and very stressful life as well, and there's only so much that one person can take. Coming up on... She said, 'VVhat are you upset about?' It's, like, (SCOFFS) hello? Honestly, I thought that was disgusting. Well, get over it. Michelle, but you have to- Just- Don't tell me to shut up! Are you delusional? I would never be that rude, Gilda. ENGIBE RUILfis. REVS INDISTINCT CHATTER TENSEIMJSIO HEARTBEAT THJDS GEARS CRANK, ENGIE REVS, TYRES PEAL Whool ENGIE ROARS, TYRES PEAL Yo! TYRES SQIEAL Whoo-hoo-hool VVhoo-hoo! VVhoo-hoo! I feel like I'm in a game. 'Whoa! EXCITING MUSIC LAUGHTERJYRESSQIEAL From! Thlslshoqwo! POWERFILINSIO TANGO INSIO OONTINIES My birthday - I just wanna have fun. But then Gilda's friend, Michelle, brought trouble. I honestly can't think what happened there. She asked my friend, Angela, if she was a plus-sized model. That did not go down well. Don't take any notice of them, honestly. If they're upsetting you, don't take any notice. Thank you. Let's go back... Get you a glass of champagne. ...dry up your tears and move on. And I'll give her a good kick under the table, her and Gilda, if they say anything else, OK? (LAUGHS) OK, all right. You guys are great. Thank you. Come on. I'm really upset by the way she spoke to me, asked me if I was a plus-sized model wiih a big smile on her face. She was, like- she was just being rude. I was kinda overwhelmed, to be honest, and, you know, I'm a really sensitive person. Man up. Get that good Christchurch spirit, OK? (LAUGHS) Come on, we're supposed to be having a lovely lunch, not, you know, shouting and hissing and crying and wailing. And I was hungry. God, have we got any food yet? I'm starving! ANNE: Coming. It's coming, darlings. You miss us? ANNE: We did. We did, actually. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, we were concerned, actually. We were concerned. Sorry you- I- I don't know you. I don't know why- Did we say anything to offend you or did I say anything to offend you, oos I don't know... Right, moving right along. (CHUCKLES AWKVVARDLY) Really? > Well, actually, yeah, you did, Michelle. I did? Michelle was quite miffed when I came back to the table. She said, Mmat are you upset about?' It's, like, uh, hello? I've met you for five minutes. To call me a plus-size model, what was that about? Honestly. Sweetie, with tits like that, you're not a normal-sized model. Get over it. Michelle, this is my birthday. These are my girlfriends. I know it's your birthday, but seriously, don't say that I offended you in any way, shape or form, cos I've been quite calm. I've already heard about you from Gilda, so I kinda knew what to expect, but the tear thing? Honestly? Was that a performance? 'uNhat was that? If someone had offended me and made me cry, I would still come back to the table literally whimpering, like, SOBS: 'I can't believe you said I'm a plus-sized model! Oh my God!' You know? I would have been more like that, more whimpering. No, she was totally composed, so I dorfl know if that was just a show, that was just... her being fake. I waslfl performing. I thought she was really rude. She knew exactly what she was doing. 'Are you a plus-sized model'? That was just a question! What does that mean? < What does that mean? Exactly what it means. What does it mean? Why would you say that? Are you a plus-sized model? Ii means, are you a fuller-sized model, because you're not an average-sized model. What is an average-sized model, Michelle? Uh, average-sized model is generally a- ls anorexic. ...is anorexic. They're skinny. I'm a woman. (SIGHS) Like, what size? 6 or 8 or 10? I can see you're not a man. I'm not- I don't think she meant it as a put-down. Honestly, I really don't. It was just something that came out. My God, those tears have gone. ANNE: We've taken off the edge urith a glass of urine. OK, no, back to me. Back to me, (CHUCKLES) It's my one day I've got to celebrate my birthday where people can pay me compliments. Instead, everyone's exchanging insults. Not happy. There's two of you now, and TK, the fashion show the other night, honestly, I thought that was disgusting. < Yeah. I thought you were awfully rude. You- You never stood up and welcomed me when I- when I arrived. I mean, I don't know what you did wiih the other girls, but my God, I think that's probably the worst etiquette I've ever seen. I got up. I said hello. No, you didn't. You stayed seated, and you shook my hand when I arrived. But I have to be honest with you. Gilda, she was right there. You werelft even there, sweetheart. God bless you; you wereni there. No, no, I'm just saying that's how she- how she is. Michelle, don't- don't- No, no, dorfl tell me to shut up. You weren't even there, sweetheart. Just tell- You weren't even there, Michelle. I dorfl care. She's still my friend. I'm gonna have her back. I'm talking to Gilda. I don't care. I'm not a very judgemental person, but I... observe. I always feel like people who continuously have a smile on their face urith everything that they say, and it's, like, a generic smile urith big eyes and teeth, and it's continuously there, like, in one position, you would almost think, you know, they've just, like, planted that faoe on. Don't you have emotions? ls there nothing further? “my are you always smiling? 'UNhat was that about the other night when you asked me if I wanted to be like Oprah? I said, 'Yeah, of course I do.' No, I didn't ask you. You said you wanted to be. 'UNhat was your reply? Pretty much just 'Stop talking about yourself.' I said- I said if you want to be ihe next Oprah Winfrey... Mm-hm. ...then you should learn to listen more and talk less about yourself. I don't think it was meant to be a bitchy remark. I think when you said, 'If you want to be the Oprah VVinfrey of NZ, 'you have to listen to what the other person is saying.' Well, if there's one thing I do know, it's about how to be a good interviewer. Oprah doesn't sit there and do an interview urith someone and talk about herself. She elicits information from others. Hello? (CHUCKLES) I'm just answering your questions. If you feel like someonds asking you too many questions,“ Just say it. ...just stand back and say, 'Hey, you know what? Why the hell are you interviewing me?' I'd never be that rude, Gilda. You're not that rude (7) No, no, I'm not that rude. You're- You're rude enough to sit here and call me disgusting, and then you're not that rude to just tell somebody, 'Hey, you know what? 'Why not just stop asking me questions?' > If you keep asking me questions, I'm going to keep answering them. Then- Then just tell her to stop. You're rude enough today to just come at me from the moment I get here. Are you delusional? (LAUGHS) > < No, I'm not. I'm not really loo sure that I can actually make headways with Gilda. I don't find any kind of warrnih coming from her, so I'm really not ioo sure where this will go in the future. OK, well, excuse me, ladies, I've actually organised something for Julia. Angela brought out the most beautiful cake for me. I mean, first there was the flowers, and then the cake. I mean, she actually is a sweetheart. GHqpymu-ymyw. GHqpymu-ymyw. Tl-Qpybi-Ihclagdefl-Jlla, fl-llnnvbifluaaymyuum I hope these aren't blosu-out candles you carfl actually blow out. Hip-hip, hooray! LOUISE: Come on, Julia, blow for all you're worth. I tell you what - who would ever want a birthday party like that? I mean, it's gotta be the birthday from hell. (LAUGHS) Tomorrow night on Bravo - LOUISE: Michelle's invited all of us to her place for dinner. Angela obviously had something to get off her chest, for sure. People do speak of you poorly. Excuse me? LOUISE: How she's been described in the past <i>is...</i> (GASPS) What the fuck is wrong urith you? What struck a cord, Gilda? CqflcnnbyAlllDnyhn. Olplloluwuanndopocalblo uMmnGImflumNZOnAk.