MUSIC: I'm Not In Love by 10CC MUSIC BUILDS # I'm not in love # So don't forget it...# Peter... # It's just a silly phase I'm going through. # ..your momma wants to speak with you. Come on, Pete. Take these fool things off. WALKMAN STOPS There. Here. MACHINES BEEP SHE WHEEZES Why have you been fightin' with the other boys again, baby? Peter? They killed a little frog that ain't done nothin'. Smushed it with a stick. You're so like your daddy. You even look like him. And he was an angel... ..composed out of pure light. Mer? You got a present there for Peter, don't you? Of course. There. I got you covered, Pete. You open it up when I'm gone, OK? Your grandpa is gonna take such good care of you. At least until your daddy comes back to get you. You take my hand. Peter. Pete, come on. Take my hand. LIFE SUPPORT FLATLINES Mom? No! No! No! No! No! No! Come with me. HE SCREAMS: No! You've got to stay here. Please! No. OK? HE SOBS No! No, no. Mom! MUSIC: Come And Get Your Love by Redbone # Hey, (hey) # What's the matter with your head # Yeah # Hey, (hey) # What's the matter with your mind and your sighing # Oh-oh-oh # Hey, (hey) # Nothin's a matter with your head, baby, find it # Come on and find it # Hell with it, baby, # Cos you're find and you're mine # And you look so divine # Come and get your love # Come and get your love # Come and get your love # Come and get your love # Come and get your love, come and get your love # Come and get your love now # Come and get your love, come and get your love # Come and get your love now # Come and get your love, come and get your love # Come and get your love, now # Come and get your love # Come and get your love # Come and get your love. # Drop it! Uh, hey. Ah-dah sinney, kalack Drop it, now! Hey, cool, man. No problem. No problem at all. How do you know about this? I don't even know what that is. I'm just a junker, man. I was just checking stuff out. Kah-tay! You don't look like a junker. You're wearing Ravager garb! It's just a outfit, man. Ninja Turtle, you better stop poking me. SHOUTS: What is your name? My name is Peter Quill, OK? Dude, chill out. Move! Why? Ronan may have questions for you. Hey, you know what? There's another name you might know me by. Star-Lord. Who? Star-Lord, man. Legendary outlaw? Guys? Move! Oh, forget this. HE LAUGHS Peter? What happened? Hey, uh... uh... uh.... Bereet. Bereet! Look, I'm gonna be totally honest with you. I forgot you were here. MUSIC: Go All The Way by The Raspberries 'Scattered riots broke out across the Kree Empire today, 'protesting the recent peace treaty signed by the Kree Emperor 'and Xandar's Nova Prime.' CONSOLE BEEPS Peter, you have calls. No, wait, don't! Quill? Hey, Yondu. I'm here on Morag. Ain't no Orb. Ain't no you. I was in the neighbourhood. I thought I'd save you the hassle. Well, where are you at now, boy? I feel really bad about this, but I'm not gonna tell you that. I slaved putting this deal together and now you rip me off?! Slaved? Making a few calls is slaved? I mean, really? We do not do that to each other. We're Ravagers. We got a code. Yeah, and that code is 'steal from everybody.' When I picked you up on Terra... Picked me up?! ..these boys of mine wanted to eat you. Yeah? They ain't never tasted any Terran before. I stopped 'em. You're alive cos of me! I will find you. I will... GRR! Put a bounty on him! 40K. But I want him back alive. Yes, cap. Alive? That's what I said. I told you when you picked that kid up, you should have delivered him like we was hired to do! He was cargo! You have always been soft on him. You're the only one I'm being soft on. Now, don't you worry about Mr Quill. Soon as we get him back here, I'm gonna kill him myself. What we do need to worry about is who else out there wants that Orb. They call me 'terrorist,' 'radical,' 'zealot' because I obey the ancient laws of my people, the Kree, and punish those who do not. Because I do not forgive your people for taking the life of my father, and his father and his father before him. A thousand years of war between us will not be forgotten! You can't do this! Our government signed a peace treaty! My government knows no shame. You Xandarians and your culture are a disease. You will never rule Xandar. No. I will cure it! Ronan, Korath has returned. Master, he is a thief, an outlaw who calls himself Star-Lord. But we have discovered he has an agreement to retrieve the Orb for an intermediary known as the Broker. I promised Thanos I would retrieve the Orb for him. Only then will he destroy Xandar for me. Nebula, go to Xandar and get me the Orb. It will be my honour. It will be your doom. If this happens again, you'll be facing our father without his prize. I'm a daughter of Thanos. Just like you. But I know Xandar. Ronan has already decreed that I... Do not speak for me. You will not fail. Have I ever? Xandarians. What a bunch of losers. All of 'em in a big hurry to get from something stupid to nothin' at all. Pathetic. Look at this guy! You believe they call us criminals when he's assaulting us with that haircut? What is this thing? Look how it thinks it's so cool. It's not cool to get help! Walk by yourself, you little gargoyle. Look at Mr Smiles over here. Where's your wife, old man? What a class-A pre-vert! Right, Groot? Groot. Don't drink fountain water, you idiot. That's disgusting! Mm. Yes, you did. I just saw you doing it. Why are you lying? MESSAGE ALERT Whoop. Looks like we got one. OK, humie, how bad does someone wanna find you? 40,0000 units?! Groot, we're gonna be rich! Mr Quill. Broker. The Orb... ..as commissioned. Where's Yondu? Wanted to be here. Sends his love and told me to tell you that you got the best eyebrows in the business. What is it? It's my policy never to discuss my clients or their needs. Yeah, well, I almost died getting it for ya. An occupational hazard, I'm sure, in your line of work. Some machine-headed freak, working for a dude named Ronan. Ronan? I'm sorry, Mr Quill, I truly am, but I want no part of this transaction if Ronan is involved. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Who's Ronan? A Kree fanatic, outraged by the peace treaty, who will not rest until Xandarian culture, MY culture, is wiped from existence! Come on there. He's someone whose bad side I'd rather not be on. What about my bad side? Farewell, Mr Quill. Hey, we had a deal, bro! What happened? Uh, this guy just backed out of a deal on me. There's one thing I hate, it's a man without integrity. Peter Quill. People call me Star-Lord. You have the bearing of a man of honour. Well, I... You know, I wouldn't say that. People say it about me all the time, but it's not something I would ever say about myself. Ah! This wasn't the plan. Put him in the bag. Put him in the bag! No! No her, him! Learn genders, man. Aaah! Biting? That's not fair! Take it easy, take it easy! Aaah! Fool. Should have learned. I don't learn. One of my issues. Quit smiling, you idiot. you're supposed to be a professional. You gotta be kidding me? Hey! I live for the simple things. Like how much this is gonna hurt. QUILL SCREAMS Yeah. Writhe, little man. GROOT WHIMPERS It'll grow back, you daft idiot. Quit whining. Subject 89P13, drop your weapon. Oh, crap! By the authority of the Nova Corps, you are under arrest... Right, come on up. ..for endangerment to life and destruction of property. Hey! If it isn't Star-Prince? Star-Lord. Oh, sorry. Lord. I picked this guy up a while back for petty theft. He's got a code name. Come on, man. It's a outlaw name. Just relax, pal. It's cool to have a code name. It's not that weird. BEEPING SOUND Fascists. 1 Ronan is destroying Xandarian outposts throughout the galaxy. I should think that would call for some slight response on the part of the Kree. We signed your peace treaty, Nova Prime. What more do you want? At least a statement from the Kree Empire, saying that they condemn his actions. He is slaughtering children. Families. THAT is your business. Now, I have other matters to attend to. Prick. Ah, some good news. Looks like we've apprehended one of Ronan's compatriots. Gamora. Surgically modified and trained as a living weapon. The adopted daughter of the Mad Titan, Thanos. Recently, Thanos lent her and her sister Nebula out to Ronan, which leads us to believe that Thanos and Ronan are working together. Subject 89P13, calls itself Rocket. The result of illegal genetic and cybernetic experiments on a lower life form. What the hell? They call it Groot. A humanoid plant that's been travelling recently as 89P13's personal house plant, slash muscle. GROOT GRUNTS Peter Jason Quill, from Terra. Raised from youth by a band of mercenaries called The Ravagers, led by Yondu Udonta. Oh, I'm sorry. I, I didn't know how this machine worked. What a bunch of a-holes. Transport all four to the Kyln. I guess most of Nova Corps wanna uphold the laws, but these ones here, they're corrupt and cruel. But hey, it's not my problem. I ain't gonna to be here long. I've escaped 22 prisons. This one's no different. You're lucky the broad showed up, cos otherwise me and Groot would be collecting that bounty right now, and you'd be getting drawn and quartered by Yondu and those ravagers. I've had a lot of folks try to kill me over the years. I ain't about to be brought down by a tree and a talking raccoon. Hold. What's a raccoon? What's a raccoon? It's what you are, stupid. Ain't no thing like me, except me. So, this Orb has a real shiny blue suitcase, Ark of the Covenant, Maltese Falcon sort of vibe. What is it? I am Groot. So what? What's the Orb? I have no words for an honourless thief. Pretty high and mighty, coming from the lackey of a genocidal maniac. Yeah, I know who you are. Anyone who's anyone knows who you are. Yeah, we know who you are. Who is she? I am Groot. Yeah, you said that. I wasn't retrieving the Orb for Ronan. I was betraying him. I had an agreement to sell it to a third party. I am Groot. Well, that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree here? Well, he don't know talking good like me and you. So, his vocabulistics is limited to 'I' and 'am' and 'Groot.' Exclusively in that order. Well, I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin real fast if I... FAINT MUSIC Hey! Put that away. You son of a... Hey! Listen to me, you big, blue bastard. Take those headphones off. That's mine. Those belong in impound. That tape and player is mine! ZAPPING SOUND Hooked on a Feeling, Blue Swede, 1973. That song belongs to me! Agh! ZAPPING SOUND # I'm... # Hooked on a feeling # I'm high on believing # That you're in love with me # Lips as sweet as candy # Its taste is on my mind # Girl you got me thirsty # For another cup of wine # Got a bug from you girl # But I don't need no cure # I'll just stay a victim # If I can for sure # All the good love # When we're all alone # Keep it up girl # Yeah you turn me on # I'm... # Hooked on a feeling # I'm high on believing # That you're in love with me # I'm hooked on a feeling! # SPLAT Yeah, you first! You first! I'm coming! I'm coming for you first, Gamora! You're scum! You're scum! You're scum! SHOUTING AND JEERING It's like I said, she's got a rep. Lot of prisoners here have lost their families to Ronan and his goons. She'll last a day, tops. Murderer! The guards will protect her, right? They're here to stop us from getting out. They don't care what we do to each other inside. Whatever nightmares the future holds are dreams compared to what's behind me. Well, check out the new meat. I'm gonna slather you up in Gunavian jelly. Go to town. Agh! HE HOWLS Let's make something clear. This one here's OUR booty! You wanna get to him, you go through us! Or, more accurately, WE go through YOU. Argh! HE WHIMPERS I'm with them. I hate you. No cell's gonna protect you for long! SHOUTING AND JEERING You're dead! MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH SNORING Take her down to the showers. It'll be easier to clean up the blood down there. Agh! SHE SHOUTS Quill, where you going? Quill. Quill! Agh! Gamora, consider this a death sentence for your crimes against the galaxy. You dare? You know who I am, yes? You're Drax the Destroyer. Quill! And you know why they call me this. You slayed dozens of Ronan's minions. Ronan murdered my wife, Ovette, and my daughter, Camaria. He slaughtered them where they stood. And he laughed! Quill? Her life is not yours to take. He killed my family. I shall kill one of his in return. Of course, Drax. Here, I... Quill! What are you doing? I'm no family to Ronan or Thanos. I'm your only hope at stopping him. Argh! Agh! Woman, your words mean nothing to me! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Hey! Oh, crap. You know, if killing Ronan is truly your sole purpose, I don't think this is the best way to go about it. Are you not the man this wench attempted to kill? Well, I mean, she's hardly the first woman to try and do that to me. Look, this is, like, from a smoking hot Rajak girl. Stabbed me with a fork. Didn't like me skipping out on her at sunrise. I got, right here, a Kree girl tried to rip out my thorax. Caught me with a skinny little A'askavariian who worked in Nova Records. I was trying to get information. Ever see an A'askavariian? They have tentacles and needles for teeth. If you think I'm seriously interested in that then, well... GAMORA WHEEZES ..you don't care. But here's the point. She betrayed Ronan. He's coming back for her. And when he does, that's when you... Why would I put my finger on his throat? What? Oh, no, it's a symbol. This is, this is a symbol for you slicing his throat. I would not slice his throat. I would cut his head clean off. It's a general expression for you killing somebody. You've heard of this. You've seen this? You know what it is. Yes. Yeah. Everyone knows. No, no. What I'm saying is, you wanna keep her alive. Don't do his work for him. GAMORA CHOKES I like your knife, I'm keeping it. That was my favourite knife. Listen! I could care less whether you live or whether you die. Then why stop the big guy? Simple. You know where to sell my Orb. How are we gonna sell it when we and it are still here? My friend Rocket here has escaped 22 prisons. Oh, we're getting out. And then we're headed straight to Yondu to retrieve your bounty. How much was your buyer willing to pay you for my Orb? Four billion units. What? Holy shit. That Orb is my opportunity to get away from Thanos and Ronan. If you free us... ..I'll lead you to the buyer directly and I'll split the profit between the three of us. I am Groot. Four of us. Asleep for the danger, awake for the money, as per frickin' usual. GROOT GROWLS You have been betrayed, Ronan. We know only that she has been captured. Gamora may yet recover the Orb. No! Our sources within the Kyln say Gamora has her own plans for the Orb. Your partnership with Thanos is at risk. Thanos requires your presence. Now! With all due respect, Thanos, your daughter made this mess, and yet you summon me. I would lower my voice, accuser. First, she lost a battle with some primitive. Thanos put Gamora under your charge. Then she was apprehended by the Nova Corps. You are the one here with nothing to show for it. Your sources say that she meant to betray us the whole time! Lower your tone! I may be your... I only ask that you take this matter seriously. The only matter I do not take seriously, boy, is you. Your politics bore me. Your demeanour is that of a pouty child. And apparently, you alienated my favourite daughter, Gamora. I shall honour our agreement, Kree, if you bring me the Orb. But return to me again empty-handed and I will bathe the starways in your blood. Thanks, Dad. Sounds fair. This is one fight you won't win. Let's head to the Kyln. 1 If we're gonna get out of here, we're gonna need to get into that watchtower. And to do that, I'm gonna need a few things. The guards wear security bands to control their ins and outs. I need one. Leave it to me. That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg. His leg? Yeah. God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him, he's useless. All right. And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. You see it? Yeah. There's a quarnyx battery behind it, purplish box, green wires, get in to that watch tower, I definitely need it. How are we supposed to do that? Supposedly these bald buddies find you attractive, so maybe you can work out some sort of trade. You must be joking. No, I really heard they find you attractive. Look, its 20 feet up in the air and in the middle of the most heavily guarded part of the prison. It's impossible to get up there without being seen. I got one plan and that plan requires a frickin' quarnyx battery, so figure it out! CLANGING SOUND Want to get back to it? Thanks. Now, this is important, once the battery is removed, everything is going to slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we've got to move quickly so you definitely need to get that LAST. THROBBING SOUND SIREN Or we could just get it first, and improvise. I'll get the armband. Leg. ROCKET GROANS Prisoner, drop the device immediately and retreat to your cell, or we will open fire. I am... Groot! Fire! ZAPPING SOUNDS EXPLOSION All prisoners return to your sleeping areas. You idiot! How am I supposed to fight these things without my stuff? The animal's in control. Fire on my command! Ha, ha, ha! Creepy little beast! Oh, yeah. Yeah! You need my what? I'll need this. Good luck. It's internally wired. I'll figure something out. Drop the leg! Drop the leg and move back to your cell. Rocket! Move to the watchtower! You! Man who has lain with an A'askavariian. It was one time, man. We need all available guards in full combat gear! We... ALARM SOUNDS Spare me your foul gaze, woman. Why is this one here? We promised him he could stay by your side until he kills your boss. I always keep my promises when they're to muscle-bound whack-jobs who'll kill me if I don't. Here you go. Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things. What? No, I-I thought it'd be funny. Was it funny? No, wait, what did he look like, hopping around? I had to transfer him 30,000 units! How are we going to leave? Well, he's got a plan. Right? Or is that another thing you made up? I have a plan, I have a plan. Cease your yammering and relieve us from this irksome confinement. Yeah, I'll have to agree with the walking thesaurus on that one. Do not ever call me a Thesaurus. It's just a metaphor, dude. His people are completely literal. Metaphors go over his head. Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I will catch it. I'm going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy. Those are some big guns. On my command! Number one! Rodent, we are ready for your plan. Hold on! Number two! I recognize this animal. We'd roast them over a flame pit as children. Their flesh was quite delicious. Not helping! Number three! Damn it! All fire on my command! Three! Two! One! Hey! Yeah. He turned off the artificial gravity everywhere but in here. I told you I had a plan. That was a pretty good plan. Huh? Yeah! There it is. Get my ship. It's the Milano - the orange and blue one, over in the corner. They crumpled my pants up into a ball. That's rude! They folded yours! The Orb's there. Let's go. Wait. Wait, wait, wait. What? That bastard didn't put it back. Put what back? Here. Get them to the ship. I will be right back. How are you going to possibly... Just keep the Milano close by. Go. Go! Ah, my neck! Well how's he going to get to us? He declined to share that information with me. Well, screw this, then! I ain't waiting around for some humie with a death wish. You got the Orb, right? Yes. THROUGH HEADPHONES: If You Like Pina Coladas by Jimmy Buffet # If you like Pina coladas # And getting caught in the rain # If you're not into yoga # If you have half a brain... Ooh! If we don't leave now, we will be blown to bits. No! We're not leaving without the Orb. # If you like making love at midnight # In the dunes on the Cape...# Behold. # I'm the love that you have looked for # Write to me and escape... # This one shows spirit. He shall make a keen ally in the battle against Ronan. Companion, what were you retrieving? You're an imbecile. 1 ROCKET HUMS Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yo! Ranger Rick! What are you doing? You can't take apart my ship without asking me! See, what is this? Don't touch it. It's a bomb. A bomb? Yep. And you leave it lying around? I was going to put it in a box. What's a box going to do? How about this one? No! Whoa, hey, leave it alone. Why, what is it? Shut up. Hey. What is that? That's for if things get really hardcore. Or if you want to blow up moons. No-one's blowing up moons. You just want to suck the joy out of everything. So, listen, I'm going to need your buyer's coordinates. We're heading in the right direction. For now. If we're going to work together, you might try trusting me a little bit. And how much do you trust me? I'd trust you a lot more if you told me what this was. Cos I'm guessing it's some kind of weapon. I don't know what it is. If it's a weapon, we should use it against Ronan. Put it down, you fool. You'll destroy us all. Or just you, murderess! I let you live once, princess. I am not a princess! Hey! Nobody is killing anybody on my ship! We're stuck together until we get the money. I have no interest in money. Great. That means more money for the three of us. COUGHS For the four of us. Partners. We have an agreement, but I would never be partners with the likes of you. I'll tell the buyer we're on our way. And, Quill, your ship is filthy. Oh, she has no idea. If I had a black light, place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting. You got issues, Quill. Please. I swear. I don't know where they went. I swear! If he knew where they were headed, he would have already told us. Yeah. Ronan, the Nova Corps have sent a fleet to defend the prison. Well, then send Necrocraft to every corner of the quadrant. Find the Orb. Any means, any price. And this place? The Nova can't know what we're after. No! Cleanse it! You got any other cute little bubbas like this 'un? I like to stick 'em all in a row on my control console. I can't tell if you're joking or not. He's being fully serious. In that case, I can show you. But first, you're going to tell me what this Orb is, and why everybody cares so damn much about it. And then you're going to tell me who out there might want to buy it. Sir, the high-end community is a... HE TALKS GIBBERISH The high-end community is a... HE TALKS GIBBERISH It's a tight-knit... HE TALKS GIBBERISH ..tight-knit... HE TALKS GIBBERISH The high-end community is a very tight-knit... HE TALKS GIBBERISH I cannot possibly betray the confidentiality of my buyers! CHUCKLES Now, who again is this buyer of yours? Carina. Yes, Master. Your people do have elbows, do they not? We do, Master. Then use them. I don't have to remind you what happened to the last attendant who disappointed me. Do I? Chop chop. Our guests will be here soon. # I'm an alligator... # Heads up! We're inbound. # I'm a mama-papa coming for you # I'm a space invader # I'll be a rock'n'rollin' bitch for you... # Wow. What is it? It's called Knowhere. The severed head of an ancient celestial being. Be wary headed in, rodent. There are no regulations whatsoever here. # Press your space face close to mine, love # Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh, yeah! # Freak out... # Far out... # Hundreds of years ago, the Tivan group sent workers in to mine the organic matter within the skull. Bone, brain tissue, spinal fluid. All rare resources, highly valued in black markets across the galaxy. It's dangerous and illegal work, suitable only for outlaws. Well, I come from a planet of outlaws. Billy the Kid, Bonnie and Clyde, John Stamos. Sounds like a place which I would like to visit. Yeah, you should. Excuse me. Watch your wallets. Can you spare any units? Anything you can... Anything! Do you have anything to spare? Excuse me - can you please help us? Get out of here. Your buyer's in there? We are to wait here for his representative. This is no respectable establishment. What do you expect us to do while we wait? Yes! Yes! Yes! Go, go, go go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Ya-hoo! My Orloni has won, as I win at all things! Now let's put more of this liquid into our bodies. That's the first thing you said that wasn't bat-shit crazy! Man, you wouldn't believe what they charge for fuel out here. I might actually lose money on this job. My connection is making us wait. It's just a negotiation tactic. Trust me, this is my specialty. Where yours is more 'Stab, stab. Those are my terms.' My father didn't stress diplomacy. Thanos? He's not my father. When Thanos took my home world, he killed my parents in front of me. He tortured me, turned me into a weapon. When he said he was going to destroy an entire planet for Ronan, I couldn't stand by and... Why would you risk your life for this? My mother gave it to me. My mom liked sharing with me all the pop songs that she loved growing up. I happened to have it on me when I was... The day that she... You know, when I l-left Earth. What do you do with it? Do? Nothing. You listen to it. Or you can dance. I'm a warrior and an assassin. I do not dance. Really? Well, on my planet, there's a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero named Kevin Bacon teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts, that dancing, well... it's the greatest thing there is. Who put the sticks up their butts? What? No. That's just a... That is cruel. ..just a phrase people use. #..On the other side # I just tear out that page # But then I fooled around and fell in love # I fooled around and fell in love...# The melody is pleasant! # ..Since I met you, baby # I fooled around and fell # In love # I fooled around and fell in love. # No! Aah! What the hell? I know who you are, Peter Quill. And I am not some starry-eyed waif here to succumb to your... your pelvic sorcery! That is not what is happening here. God. Oh, no. Stop it! Whoa, whoa! What are you doing? This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about! That is true! He has no respect! That is also true! Hold on, hold on! Keep calling me vermin, tough guy! You just want to laugh at me like everyone else! Rocket, you're drunk, all right? No-one's laughing at you. He thinks I'm some stupid thing! He does! Well, I didn't ask to get made! I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together over and over, and turned into some... some little monster! Rocket, no-one's calling you a monster. He called me 'vermin'! She called me 'rodent'! Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots to your frickin' face! No! No-no! No-no-no! No-no-no! Four billion units! Rocket! Come on, man. Hey! Suck it up for one more lousy night, and you're rich. Fine. But I can't promise, when all this is over, I'm not going to kill every last one of you jerks. See? That's exactly why none of you have any friends! Five seconds after you meet somebody, you're already trying to kill 'em! We have travelled halfway across the quadrant. And Ronan is no closer to being dead. Drax! Let him go. We don't need him. Milady Gamora. I'm here to fetch you for my master. 1 OK, this isn't creepy at all. CARINA: We house the galaxy's largest collection of fauna, relics, and species of all manner. ROCKET AND DOG GROWL AT EACH OTHER I present to you Taneleer Tivan, the Collector. Oh, my dear Gamora. How wonderful to meet in the flesh. Let's bypass the formalities, Tivan. We have what we discussed. What is that thing there? I am Groot. I never thought I'd meet a Groot. Sir, you must allow me to pay you now so that I may own your carcass. At the moment of your death, of course. I am Groot. Why, so he could turn you into a frickin' chair? That's your pet? His what? Tivan. We have been halfway around the galaxy retrieving this Orb. Very well, then. Let us see what you brought. Three quarnyx batteries, seven cases of Cotati seeds. No, 'cases.' Last time you sent me... You shall send a message for me. Oh, my new friends. Before creation itself, there were six singularities. Then the universe exploded into existence, and the remnants of these systems were forged into concentrated ingots. Infinity Stones. These Stones, it seems, can only be brandished by beings of extraordinary strength. Observe. These carriers can use the Stone to mow down entire civilisations like wheat in a field. There's a little pee coming out of me right now. Once, for a moment a group was able to share the energy amongst themselves, but even they were quickly destroyed by it. Beautiful. Beyond compare. Blah, blah, blah. We're all very fascinated, whitey. But we'd like to get paid. How would you like to get paid? What do you think, fancy man? Units! Very well, then. Carina. Stand back. I will no longer be your slave! No! What the f...? How could I think Tivan could contain whatever was within the Orb? What do you still have it for? Well, what are we going to do, leave it in there? I can't believe you had that in your purse! It's not a purse, it's a knapsack! We have to bring this to the Nova Corps. There's a chance they can contain it. Are you kidding me? We're wanted by the Nova Corps. Just give it to Ronan! So he can destroy the galaxy? What are you, some saint all of a sudden? What has the galaxy ever done for you? Why would you want to save it? Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it! Peter, listen to me. We cannot allow the Stone to fall into Ronan's hands. We have to go back to your ship and deliver it to Nova. Right. Right, OK. Yeah, I think you're right. Or we could give it to somebody who's not going to arrest us, who's really nice, for a whole lot of money. I think it's a really good balance between both of your points of view. You're despicable. Dishonourable. Faithless! Oh, no. At last! I shall meet my foe and destroy him. You called Ronan? Come on! Step back, step back! RONAN: Quill! Don't you move, boy! Don't you move! Get out of the way! Ronan the Accuser! You are the one who transmitted the message? You killed my wife. You killed my daughter! I told you, you can't fit. Now, wait here. I'll be back. Hm. It is Gamora. She is escaping with the Orb. Kreetah! Kreetah! No! Nebula. Retrieve the Orb. The Stone is in the furthest pod. Bring it down! Rocket, keep them off Gamora till she gets to the Milano. How? We've got no weaponry on these things. These pods are industrial grade. They're nearly indestructible. Not against necroblasts, they're not! That's not what I'm saying. Oh. Yaaaa! ..aaah. GAMORA GRUNTS Let me borrow your ride. PUNCHING AND GRUNTING SHOUTS I don't recall killing your family. I doubt I'll remember killing you, either. SHE SHOUTS Quill, I'm trapped. I can't make it to the Milano. I have to head out. What? Wait, these things aren't meant to go out there! You are a disappointment, sister. Out of all our siblings ..I hated you least. Nebula, please. If Ronan gets this stone he'll kill us all. Not all. You will already be dead. Ronan. It is done. ROCKET: Quill, come on. Her body mods should keep her alive a couple more minutes, but there's nothing we can do for her. These pods aren't meant to be out here. In a second, we're gonna be in the same boat. Damn it. Quill? Yondu! Yondu. This is Quill! My coordinates are two-two-seven-K-three... Quill! ..two-four! Quill, what are you doing? Just outside Knowhere. If you're there, come get me. I'm all yours. Quill, don't be ridiculous. Get back into your pod! You can't fit two people in there. You're gonna die. You'll die in seconds! Qui... GAMORA GASPS BREATHES DEEPLY QUILL PANTS GAMORA COUGHS Hey. Quill? What happened? I saw you out there. Now, I don't know what came over me... but I couldn't let you die. I found something inside of myself... something incredibly heroic. I mean, not to brag, but objectively sp... SHE SIGHS Where's the Orb? It's... Well, they got the Orb. What?! DOORS OPEN Welcome home, Peter. HE GASPS Blasted idiot. They're all idiots! Quill just got himself captured. None of this ever would have happened if you didn't try to single-handedly take on a frickin' army! You're right. I was a fool. All the anger... All the rage... ..was just to cover my loss. Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. 'My wife and child are dead.' GROOT GASPS Oh, I don't care if it's mean! Everybody's got dead people. It's no excuse to get everybody else dead along the way! Come on, Groot. Ronan has the Stone. The only chance we got is to get to the other side of the universe as fast as we can, and maybe just maybe, we'll be able to live full lives before that whack-job ever gets there. I am Groot. Save them? How?! I am Groot! I KNOW they're the only friends that we ever had. But there's an army of Ravagers around them. And there's only two of us! Three. GROWLS IN FRUSTRATION You're making me beat up grass! 1 The Orb is in my possession, as I promised. Bring it to me. Yes. That was our agreement. Bring you the Orb, and you will destroy Xandar for me. However, now that I know it contains an Infinity Stone, I wonder what use I have for you. Boy... I would reconsider your current course. Master! You cannot! Thanos is the most powerful being in the universe. Not any more. HOWLS You call me 'boy'? I will unfurl 1000 years of Kree justice on Xandar, and burn it to its core! Then, Thanos, I am coming for you. After Xandar, you are going to kill my father? You dare to oppose me? You see what he has turned me into. You kill him, I will help you destroy a thousand planets. YONDU: You betray me? Steal my money? Stop it! Leave him alone! When I picked you up as a kid, these boys wanted to eat you. They ain't never tasted Terran before. I saved your life! Oh, will you shut up about that? God! 20 years, you been throwing that in my face, like it's some great thing, not eating me. Normal people don't even think about eating someone else! Much less that person having to be grateful for it! You abducted me, man. You stole me from my home and from my family. You don't give a damn about your Terra! Mm. Mm-hmm. You're scared, cos you're soft, in here! Here, right here! Yondu! Listen to me. Ronan has something called an Infinity Stone. I know what he's got, girl. Then you know we must get it back! He's gonna use it to wipe out Xandar. We have to warn them. Billions of people will perish. Is that what she's been filling your head with, boy? Sentiment? MEN LAUGH Eating away your brain like maggots! WHISTLES No! Sorry, boy. But a captain's gotta teach his men what happens to those what cross him. Captain's gotta teach stuff! If you kill me now, you are saying goodbye to the biggest score you have ever seen. The Stone? I hope you got somethin' better than that. Cos ain't nobody stealing from Ronan. We got a ringer. Is that right? She knows everything there is to know about Ronan. His ships, his army. He's vulnerable. What do you say, Yondu, huh? Me and you taking down marks side-by-side like the old days? Heh. WHISTLES, LAUGHS Let him go! Oh! You always did have a scrote, boy! That's why I kept you on as a young'un. BANG SHOTS FIRING Captain, the shot was non-damaging. Attention, idiots. The lunatic on top of this craft is holding a Hadron Enforcer. It's a weapon of my own design. What the hell? If you don't hand over our companions now, he's gonna tear your ship a new one. A very big new one! I ain't buyin' it. I'm giving you to the count of five. Five! No! No! Four! No, wait! Three! Rocket, it's me. For God sakes, we figured it out! We're fine! Oh, hey, Quill. What's going on? You call that 'figured it out'? We're gonna rob the guys who just beat us senseless? Oh, you wanna talk about senseless? How about trying to save us by blowing us up? We were only gonna blow you up if they didn't turn you over! And how on earth were they gonna turn us over when you only gave them a count of five? Well, we didn't have time to work out the minutiae of the plan. This is what we get for acting altruistically. I am Groot. They ARE ungrateful. What's important now is we get the Ravagers army to help us save Xandar. So we can give the Stone to Yondu, who's just gonna sell it to somebody even worse? We'll figure that part out later. We have to stop Ronan. How? I have a plan. YOU'VE got a plan? Yes. First of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan. No, I'm not. People say that all the time. It's not that unique of a thing to say. Secondly, I don't even believe you have a plan. I have...part of a plan! What percentage of a plan do you have? You don't get to ask questions, after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere. I just saved Quill. We've already established that you destroying the ship that I'm on is not saving me. When did we establish it? Like, three seconds ago! I wasn't listening. I was thinking of something else. She's right. You don't get an opinion. What percentage? I don't know. 12%. 12%? HE LAUGHS LOUDLY That's a fake laugh. It's real! Totally fake. That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life, because that is not a plan. It's barely a concept. You're taking their side? I am Groot. So what it's better than 11%? What the hell does that have to do with anything? Thank you, Groot. Thank you. See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue. Guys. Come on. Yondu is gonna be here in two seconds. He expects to hear this big plan of ours. I need your help. I look around at us, you know what I see? Losers. I mean, like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have. Man, we have. All of us. Our homes. Our families. Normal lives. And usually, life takes more than it gives. But not today. Today, it's given us something. It has given us a chance. To do what? To give a shit. For once. Not run away. I for one am not gonna stand by and watch as Ronan wipes out billions of innocent lives. But, Quill, stopping Ronan... it's impossible. You're asking us to die. Yeah, I guess I am. Quill. I have lived most my life surrounded by my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends. You are an honourable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end... ..see my wife and daughter again. I am Groot. Oh, what the hell. I don't got that long a lifespan anyway. Now I'm standing. Y'all happy? We're all standing up now. Bunch of jackasses standing in a circle. MUSIC: Cherry Bomb by the Runaways The Stone reacts to anything organic. The bigger the target, the bigger the power surge. All Ronan's gotta do is touch the Stone to the planet's surface and zap. All plants, animals, Nova Corps... Everything will die. So Ronan does not make the surface. Rocket will lead a team to blow a hole in the Dark Aster's starboard hull. Then, our craft and Yondu's will enter. Won't there be hundreds of Sakaaran soldiers inside? I think of Sakaaran as paper people. Once they know we're on board, Ronan will isolate himself behind impenetrable security doors on deck. Which I can disable by dismantling the power source. We'll make it to the flight deck, and I'll use the Hadron Enforcer to kill Ronan. Once Ronan is dead, we will retrieve the Stone. Use these devices to contain it. If you touch it... it will kill you. I'll contact one of the Nova officers who arrested us. Hopefully, they'll believe we're there to help. There's one more thing we need to complete the plan. That guy's eye. No. No, we don't. No, we don't need that guy's eye. No, seriously! I need it. It's important to me. 'Ronan's fleet has been spotted, 'and will arrive in T minus 15 minutes.' Remember, boy. At the end of all this, I get the Stone. You cross me, we kill you all. # Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom # Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb! # Hello world, I'm your wild girl # I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb # Cherry bomb! # Hey, street boy What's your style? # Let's go get 'em, boys! This is a terrible plan. Hey, you're the one who said you wanted to die among friends. Nova Prime. I received a transmission from one of the Ravagers. He says Ronan's in possession of something called an Infinity Stone and he's headed toward Xandar. Good God. It's a trick. He's a criminal. Did he say why we should believe him? He said his crew just escaped from prison, so he'd have no other reason to risk coming to Xandar to help. He says that he's an... 'A-hole.' But he's not, and I'm quoting him here, '100% a dick.' Do you believe him? Well, I don't know that I believe anyone's 100% a dick, ma'am. I mean, do you believe that he is here to help? Yeah. A fleet approaches. They appear to be Ravagers. Fire! Cover down. Submerge! Rocket, hurry! All pilots, dive! They're beneath us! Evacuate the city. Our priority is to get our people away from the battle. Forward thrust, now! Come on! Quill! Yondu! Now! Aw, hell! I'm going down, Quill! No more games with me, boy! I'll see you at the end of this! There are too many of them, Rocket! We'll never make it up there! Peter Quill. This is Denarian Saal of the Nova Corps. For the record, I advised against trusting you here. They got my dick message! Prove me wrong. Yes! LAUGHS SCREECHING GUNFIRE EXPLOSIONS Yes! We're just like Kevin Bacon. 1 The starboard kern has been breached! We have been boarded! Continue our approach. But the Nova Corps have engaged. None of that will matter once we reach the surface. Seal security doors! Now! Kre-tah! Kre-tah! Get out of my way! ROCKET: Oh, man. All Nova pilots, interlock and form a blockade. The Dark Aster must not reach the ground. Locked in! Locked in. Locked in. CREAKING DRAX: I can barely see. When did you learn to do that? Pretty sure the answer is 'I am Groot.' The flight deck is 300m this way. I want you all to know that I am grateful for your acceptance after my blunders. It is pleasing to once again have...friends. You, Quill, are my friend. Thanks. This dumb tree, he is my friend. Mmm. And this green whore, she too... Oh, you must stop! SHOUT Gamora, look at what you have done. You have always been weak. You stupid, traitorous... BOOM Nobody talks to my friends like that. Head to the flight deck. I'll shut down the power to the security doors. Yondu Udonta. Order your men to turn on the Nova Corps. WHISTLES Ah-gah-cha-tah-loo. WHISTLES Enough nonsense, Ravager! Time to di... RAPID THUMPING WHISTLES GRUNTS GASPS Nebula, please! Enough of this. Necrocraft pilots, enact immolation initiative. They're dive-bombing the city! Denarian Saal, should we break formation? No! Hold your positions. SCREAMING SCREAMING Keep Ronan up there, Saal. We'll take care of the people down here. Can't believe I'm taking orders from a hamster. Star-Lord. Finally. You thief! SHOUTS You will never make it to Ronan. Everybody shoot them before they hit the ground. Come on! BOTH GRUNTING GRUNTING SCREAMS 'Finger to the throat' means 'death.' ELECTRICITY FIZZES THUMP Metaphor. ..Sorta. Oh, no. GROOT SHOUTS CONTINUES SHOUTING BODIES CLATTER TO GROUND Xandar! You stand accused. Your wretched peace treaty will not save you now. It is the tinder on which you burn. SCREAMS Rocket! Hold on, Saal! Just... Quill, you gotta hurry. The city's been evacuated, but we're getting our asses kicked down here. Gamora hasn't opened the door! SCREAMS Nebula! Sister, help us fight Ronan. You know he's crazy. I know you're both crazy. No! What?! Get out! SCREAMING You did it! SHOUTS I was mistaken. I do remember your family. Their screams were pitiful. I... SHOUTS EXPLOSIONS No, Groot! You can't. You'll die! W-why are you doing this? Why?! We are Groot. 1 MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY: O-o-h Child by Five Stairsteps WIND HOWLS MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES # Some day # We'll put it together and we'll get it all done # Some day # When your head is much lighter # Some day, yeah # We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun # Some day # When the world is much brighter... # QUILL GROANS I called him an idiot. # Ooh child Things will be better and brighter # Some day, yeah # We'll put it together and we'll get it all done... # MUSIC FADES OUT You killed Groot! Behold! Your guardians of the galaxy. What fruit have they wrought? Only that my father and his father shall finally know vengeance. People of Xandar! The time has come to rejoice and renounce your paltry gods! Your salvation is at hand. Eee-sun-kah! Hee-ow! # Ooh child # Things are gonna get easier # Ooh child # Things'll get brighter... # Listen to these words. # Ooh child # Things are gonna get easier # Ooh child Things'll get brighter... # Now bring it down hard! # Some day We'll put it together... # What are you doing? Dance-off, bro. Me and you. MUSIC CONTINUES Gamora. Subtle. Take it back. What are you DOING? I'm distracting you, you big turd blossom. WEAPON WHINES No! QUILL SCREAMS CONTINUES SCREAMING Peter! Take my hand! Take my hand, Peter. Mom? Take my hand! GAMORA SCREAMS QUILL SCREAMS DRAX SCREAMS ROCKET SCREAMS You're mortal! How? You said it yourself, bitch. We're the Guardians of the Galaxy. GROWLING HOWLING Well, well, well. Quite the light show. Heh heh. Ain't this sweet? COCKS WEAPON But you got some business to attend to before all the nookie-nookie starts. Peter, you can't. Peter. You gotta reconsider this, Yondu. I don't know who you're selling this to, but the only way the universe can survive is if you give it to the Nova Corps. I may be as pretty as an angel... ..but I sure as hell ain't one. Hand it over, son. HE LAUGHS Yondu. Do not open that Orb. You know that, right? You've seen what it does to people. YONDU LAUGHS Yeah, Quill turned out OK. It's probably good we didn't deliver him to his dad like we was hired to do. Yeah. That guy was a jackass. He is gonna be so pissed when he realises I switched out the Orb on him. He was gonna kill you, Peter. Oh, I know. But he was about the only family I had. No. He wasn't. ROCKET SOBS ROCKET SOBS 1 Why would you even know this? When we arrested you, we noticed an anomaly in your nervous system, so we had it checked out. I'm not Terran? You are half-Terran. Your mother was of Earth. Your father, well... he's something very ancient we've never seen here before. That could be why you were able to hold the Stone for as long as you did. Your friends have arrived. On behalf of the Nova Corps, we'd like to express our profound gratitude for your help in saving Xandar. If you will follow Denarian Dey, he has something to show you. Thank you, Nova Prime. Thank you. Your wife and child shall rest well, knowing that you have avenged them. Yes. Of course, Ronan was only a puppet. It's really Thanos I need to kill. We tried to keep it as close to the original as possible. Salvaged as much as we could. Wow. I... Thank you. I have a family. They're alive because of you. Your criminal records have also been expunged. However, I have to warn you against breaking any laws in the future. Question. What if I see something that I wanna take, and it belongs to someone else? You will be arrested. But what if I want it more than the person who has it? Still illegal. That doesn't follow. No. I want it more, sir. You understand? What are you laughing at? I can't have a discussion with this gentleman? What if someone does something irksome and I decide to remove his spine? Th-That's... That's actually murder. It's one of the worst crimes of all. S-s-so, also illegal. Hmm. They'll be fine, Dey. I'm gonna keep an eye on 'em. You? Yeah, me. UNFOLDS PAPER 'Peter... 'I know these last few months have been hard for you.' 'But I'm going to a better place, and I will be OK.' 'And I will always be with you.' 'You are the light of my life.' 'My precious son.' 'My little Star-Lord.' 'Love, Mom.' INTRO: Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell # Listen, baby # Ain't no mountain high Ain't no valley low # Ain't no river wide enough, baby # If you need me, call me Don't matter where you are # No matter how far Don't worry, baby # Just call my name I'll be there in a hurry # You don't have to worry Cos baby, there BOTH: # Ain't no mountain high enough # Ain't no valley low enough # Ain't no river wide enough # To keep me from gettin' to you, babe # Oh, no, darlin' # No wind, no rain # Nor winter's cold can stop me, baby # No, no, baby # Cos you are my goal If you ever in trouble # I'll be there on the double # Just send for me, oh, baby # My love is alive Way down in my heart # Although we are miles apart # If you ever need a helping hand # I'll be there on the double # Just as fast as I can Don't you know that there BOTH: # Ain't no mountain high enough # Ain't no mountain low enough # Ain't no river wide enough # To keep me from getting to you... # So, what should we do next? Something good? Something bad? Bit of both? We'll follow your lead. Star-Lord. Bit of both. MUSIC: I Want You Back by the Jackson 5 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016 What do you let it lick you like that for? Gross.