I Captions by SubStation. For a list of the week's captioned shows, see Teletext pp 321-327. Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. TVNZ Captioning 2010 ROCK MUSIC Come on, cutie-pie. Morning, Elvis. You're pretty, Elvis, aren't you? Aren't you? Yes. Yes, you are. Jesus Christ, Ronnie. You know I have to fuckin' work tonight. Somebody around here has gotta make some money. I'm all broken up here, bitch. I can't work. Yeah, and whose fault is that? Fuck you. Oh, my God, you're pathetic. Know that new waitress over at the bingo lounge? She's been giving me the freaky eye. The whore with the big tits hanging down to her knees? Maybe I'll choke the chicken and purge my snorkel all over them flappy-ass tits. Good. Well, have a good fucking time. I will. I hope she likes cripples. Bitch, I will crawl over there and I will skull-fuck the shit out of you! Oh, I'll get the crutches for you. (Shrieks) See what you did? Fucking loudmouth. Waa! Waa! That's all that fucker does is cry. (Continues shrieking) Waa-waa waa! Cry and shit. Cry and shit. Waa! Just like you. All you do is cry and shit. Fuck you. Sit it on my pole right now, bitch. Fuck off. Mom? Look, can't you see I'm making eggs over here? Ah, pass. Know what? Can you please go upstairs and get your brother? Why do I always have to do it? You know, just do it! Don't you give me that look! Man, that bitch got herself a nice little dumper. What did you just say?! You heard me. No, say it again, Ronnie. Say it to my face! Oh, what's the matter? You jealous of your own daughter's ass? Huh? (Laughs) Fucking pig! Ahhh! Fucking whore! Alright, now clean it up! (Baby wails) Go on! Can't fucking do this anymore! Michael? Stop jerking off in there. Get away! Hey, get your ass downstairs and wash your hands, you little shit. I'm not listening! (Screams) I'm gonna tell you something, that freak of yours, he needs some serious discipline. I mean, he runs around like a little bitch. You leave him alone. Keep your hands off him. Give me a fucking break! He's probably a queer. He's gonna grow up, end up cutting his dick and balls off and changing his name to Michelle. There he is. Good morning, Michelle, my belle. What the hell took you two so long? Elvis died. I had to flush him. Oh, honey, I'm sorry. We'll get you a new one after school, OK? OK. (Laughs) What did you do to him - stroke him to death? "Oh! Elvis! Elvis!" "Oh! Oh! Oh!" You know, it's a fucking rat. Who pays money for a fucking rat? I mean, it's a goddamn rat, man! Morning, Boo. (Mimics) "Morning, Boo!" Take that damn thing off. (Shrieks) You are starting to annoy me, boy. I hate you! And I hate you too! You see this? As soon as this heals, I'm gonna break it again on your fucking face! MOTHER: Enough, alright? Can we just eat in peace for once? (BELL RINGS) (Urinates) What a fucking pussy! I told you he wouldn't fight. He's all fucking toss. We were fighting, right? You were there. He was, like, "I'm not gonna fight." I was... Yes! Oh! I know where he lives. You wanna egg his house? We could totally do that. Yeah. Oh, hey, shit-pants. What's going on? You know, um, I heard your sister got caught selling blow jobs in the bathroom. I heard they had to pump the come out of her stomach. (Makes sucking sound) Hey, Mikey, how's your mom doing? You know, my old man said that for a buck she'd rub her tits on his face. Shut up. What the fuck did you say, faggot? Mikey's upset. Look how tough he is. Hey, er, bowl-licker... Check this out. I was thinking of making copies of Mommy for the whole school. Fuck you. Hey! Tough guy, think she'd suck my dick for a quarter and let me suck her tits? Shut up! Shut up! Get outta my face, you bitch! (Boys yell) Fuck off! What the hell is going on here?! Break it up! I said break it up! You over there. You over there. You there. He started it. Shut up! Fuck you. What did you say, son? I said fuck you. Again? Again?! Jesus, what is it with you and this goddamn school? I cannot keep coming down here like this. Look, Miss Myers, I do not enjoy calling you down here every five minutes. Really? It sure seems like you fucking do. Will you just relax more? Please sit down and let me talk to you. Please? Please? OK. What? Please, sit down. Thank God. Hi, Jim. How are you? Is this her? Miss Myers, this is Dr Loomis. I took the liberty of calling him in. Happens to be a child psychologist. Thank you, Jim. Psychologist? May I ask you, has your son ever had any kind of serious psychiatric evaluation? OK, I've had enough. This is crazy. Miss Myers, please. I gotta get back to work. I gotta go. Please. We only want the best for the child. Please don't take offence. Please sit down. Sit down. Thank you. Look, um, Miss Myers, we found this in Michael's schoolbag. Come on. Big deal. He found a dead cat. And these. What is that? I hope you're not squeamish, Mrs Myers. Oh, God. Oh, this is really sick. Are you saying Michael did this? Michael loves animals. He... Er... Why would he do this? Mrs Myers, typically, the thrill of hurting or causing pain to smaller creatures, it's often an early warning sign. Early warning sign for what? For much deeper and bigger problems. What do you mean, 'problems'? He's a very disturbed young man. I have to evaluate him and I'd like to interview him. I need to take him through a series of tests. You can talk to him, but what is 'evaluating' him? What does that mean? Obviously it's a very deranged young mind that he'd do this to his pets. I mean, no... You don't know that he did that. Fuck! Man, if I get one more fucking detention I'll be fucking expelled. My old man's gonna beat my ass. Gotta get that piece of shit on the weekend so we don't get in trouble. Dude, if I see that Myers pussy, he's fucking dead. You want it? Huh? Do you want it? Ahhhh! Ah! Ahhh! Ahhh! What the fuck? You're so fucking dead! Ahh! Ahhh! Oh, shit! Ahh! No, please! Don't! Don't, please! Ahh! (Whimpers) (Sobs) Ahhhh! Oh, God! Oh! Oh! Please! Ah! (Grunts) Ugh! (Whimpers) Please! Please, help! I'm sorry. Please... Oh! Don't hurt me! Just... I'm sorry! I... I'm sorry! Ah! No, no, don't, don't! Please! Please! (Sobs) Oh, help! (Grunts) Please! (Whimpers) Please! (Gasps) Don't hurt me! (Whimpers) No. No. No. No! Don't! Don't! No! Ahhh! (Screams) (THWACK!) (Screams) (THWACK!) (Pants and gasps) Hey, clown. (Chuckles) Hey! (Laughs) Psycho boy. Cat killer. Did you really torture and kill all of them worthless animals, boy? (Chuckles) Make you feel like a real bad-ass motherfucker killer, huh? That is some deep-ass serious faggoty-ass shit, man. Judith, I'm gonna be late. (Whines) "Judith, I'm gonna be late!" You're a whiny little bitch, you know that? Ronnie, knock it off. Ma, Judith is wasting all my time. I really shouldn't let you go after the shit you pulled today at school. Oh, Mom, please? Alright, Michael, calm down. You know, tomorrow things are gonna change around here, so I suggest you live it up tonight. Judith! Here. What? Do me a favour and take your brother trick or treating. Why don't you have that subhuman sloth over on the couch do it? If I could get that lazy drunk off his fat ass, I would. Bitch, if you don't think I ain't making a mental list of all your fucking bullshit... Sweetie, look at me. I know things have been bad but tomorrow we start to make everything better, OK? (DOORBELL RINGS) I like your hair curly. Looks pretty. Thanks, sweetie. Have fun trick or treating, OK? Don't eat too much candy! Hey, Mrs Myers. I want you out by 11:00. What'd I do? I know what you do. Whatever. What about trick or treating? Are you kidding me? Go by yourself. Aren't you too old for that, anyway? Whatever. Sorry, squirt. But have fun. SONG: # Love hurts # Love scars # Love wounds # And marks # Any heart # Not tough # Or strong # Enough # To take a lot of pain # Take a lot of pain # Love is like a cloud # Holds a lot of rain # Love hurts # Oooh, ooh-ooh, love hurts. # (Judith moans and giggles) Mmm! Hmm! (Giggles) What if your dad hears us? Hold up, man. That fucking drunk prick fuck Ronnie ain't my dad. OK. I didn't know. My dad is in heaven, OK? OK. I'm sorry. Close your eyes. (Sighs) Keep 'em closed, alright? Got a surprise for you. Open. (Growls loudly) Bwaaah! (Laughs) Wow. What? Take that stupid thing off. Come on, babe! I wanna do it with the mask on. (TV PLAYS QUIETLY) (DOOR OPENS) (Snores) (Snores) (Judith laughs in distance) Arggh! (Shouts and grunts) (Pants) ('DON'T FEAR THE REAPER' PLAYS ON HEADPHONES) (Giggles) Steve, stop it. Hmm! Stop! Once a night is enough. Stop it. Michael? Michael, what the fuck are you doing in here? Answer me! Michael! Michael! Answer me! What the fuck?! Michael! Answer m... (Gasps) Oh! (Gasps and gags) (Whimpers) (Gasps and sobs) (Whimpers) (RRRIP!) Ahh! Ahhh! Happy Halloween, Boo. Jesus, what the hell happened now? Sweetie, what are you doing out here? It's freezing. Michael, what's going on? Michael, answer me. Give me the baby. Michael, what is going on? Answer me. (SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE) (Shrieks and sobs) ..this connection with tonight's brutal murders... (Screams) No! No! No! My baby! REPORTER: ..and described by police as Manson-like in its viciousness and more horrific than anybody in Hollywood could imagine. (Sobs) Judith Myers's nude body was found lying face down in a pool of blood in an upstairs hallway. Apparently she had been stabbed 17 times. Her boyfriend Steven Haley's body was found in the kitchen downstairs, the victim of an apparent vicious beating with an aluminium baseball bat. Along with Myers and Haley, a third victim, Ronnie White, was found bound to a chair, White's neck slit wide open with a kitchen knife and stabbed numerous times in the face and chest. Of course, we'll have much more on this horrific story as it develops. But, for now, three people brutally murdered and a 10-year-old boy, Michael Myers, being held in custody. late last night 10-year-old Michael Myers was transferred after being found guilty of first-degree murder. Myers's verdict comes after one of the lengthiest and most expensive trials in the state's history. In attendance during this trial, Dr Samuel Loomis. Loomis has now been appointed by Judge Masterson to oversee Myers's care while incarcerated here at Smith's Grove. Hello, hello, hello. Can you talk in there? Hi, I'm Michael Myers. OK. OK, that's fine. That's good. That's good. OK, we're on. How are you feeling today? Good. Could I ask you something? You can ask me whatever you want. In fact, that's why I'm here. If you have anything on your mind, feel free. Anything. OK. Why do you talk so funny? (Laughs) Talk so funny? Um, tell me, Michael... ..what do you remember about that night? Halloween? Er, what do you mean? Like my costume and candy? So you remember nothing about the killing? You remember nothing about getting a knife? Mm-mm. I didn't do that. Oh, OK. But you were covered in blood. Whose blood was it? I dunno. Can I go home today? MRS MYERS: No. Not today. Tomorrow? I don't know. We have to talk to the doctor about that. Hey, Mommy? Yeah? Is everyone at home OK? Everything's OK at home. OK. (THUNDER RUMBLES) Hey, Mikey. How you doing? Look, you can't let those walls get you down. Believe me, I know. I spent a little time behind walls. I know they can drive you crazy. You gotta look beyond the wall. You know - learn to live inside your head. Hey, there's no walls that can stop you there. Alright, I gotta get back to work. You take it easy, Mikey. Look at my mask. Oh, wow. Beautiful. Yeah. Why is it all black? Because it's one of my favourite colours. Well, actually, black isn't a colour, is it? It's the absence of colour. In the spectrum of colours, you go from black, which is no colour, all the way through to white, which is every colour. So, technically, not that it really matters, but, um, black isn't a colour. Why did you make it? I have my secrets. Ah. Wait a minute. I thought we had no secrets, you and I. 'Cause no-one sees me. Yes, they do. I see you every day. Your mum, she comes every week. Anybody else? No. (THUNDER RUMBLES) Do you like my mask? When did you make this? Just yesterday. I like the mask 'cause it hides my face. I don't like you to hide your face. Take it off. It hides my ugliness. Sweetie, don't say that. Take it off. You're not ugly. Don't talk like that, OK? OK. I miss you so much. I miss you too. ('DECK THE HALLS' PLAYS) Fuck you! Fuck you, world! I hate you! Let it out! Shut the fuck up! I gotta get out of here. Just let me out! What the fuck?! I don't want to be here anymore. I know. It's OK, sweetie. I just wanna go home. It's OK. It's OK. I wanna just go home. OK. OK. OK. I'm afraid you can't go home. Why? Because you've done terrible things. Come here. Come on. It's OK. It's OK, Michael. Michael, take off your mask. Honey, you don't look good. You have to eat. Come on. Put my mask back on. Michael. Please put my mask back on. Come on. Let's try to enjoy the day. Well, before I go, I brought you something. I found it. I thought you might like to hang it up in your room. I thought you'd like it. Well, I guess I'll see you next week. I'll walk you to the car. 'Bye, sweetie. LOOMIS: Nurse, sit with Michael. I am taking Mrs Myers to her car. Yes, sir. Thank you. Cute baby. You know, he's been silent now for two weeks, almost. We really may want to consider shock treatment. (ALARM BLARES) What happened? What happened? What happened there? Hey! (ALARM CONTINUES BLARING) (ALARM CONTINUES) (ALARM CONTINUES) (ALARM CONTINUES) (GUNSHOT) (BABY CRIES) You don't fucking talk a lot, do you, Max? (Groans) Goddammit, we gotta get one thing straight. I don't work for you. You may have worked here for many years, done all manner of things. But I'm my own boss, alright? You know what? I retire in about three months. And you're still going to be here for a long time. Now open the door. "Don't take no orders from anybody." Let's go, fucknut. Time to go. Hey, hey, hey. Don't touch those. What? He doesn't like it when we touch the masks. Goddamn. I wouldn't want to bum the freak out. I'm sorry about these chains, Mikey. What do you mean you're "sorry about these chains"? You got feelings for this big idiot? Is that what it is? What's the dick going on, Ismael? What the fuck, man? You know what, I've been taking care of this kid for almost 20 years. And me and him... You know what? Never mind. Just shut up. Just keep your hands off his things. LOOMIS: I really don't know what else to say, Michael. You haven't said a word for 15 years. Christ. That's a lifetime. That's nearly twice as long as my first marriage. Wow. It's strange, Michael. In a weird way you've become like... like my best friend. Ha! It just shows you how fucked up my life is. I've done all I possibly can for you. So, I'm sorry to tell you that... ..this is going to be my last day. Michael, I...I have to move on. I'm sorry. LOOMIS: His eyes will deceive you. They will destroy you. They will take from you your innocence, your pride, and eventually your soul. These eyes do not see what you and I see. Behind these eyes, one finds only blackness. The absence of light. These are the eyes of a psychopath. Michael was created by a perfect alignment of interior and exterior factors gone violently wrong. A perfect storm, if you will. I want to know who the hell's big idea it was to get us down here in the middle of the goddamn night like this. Why's everybody so jacked up we've got to move this asshole tonight? Larry, man, you worry way too much. You don't worry enough. Hey, man, I do what I do. Tell me to move the meat, I move the meat. Yeah, well, you're getting on my last nerve here. What the hell are we waiting around for? Have a doughnut, Larry. Relax. A doughnut? A doughnut? Do you know how many sit-ups it takes to work off a goddamn doughnut? Yes, I do, baby, but do you? Yes, I do. It's a lot, and that shit ain't funny. (PHONE RINGS) What you got? OK. Yes, sir. Yes. Yes, sir. Understood. Hats on, boys. We're out of here. So what kook are we moving tonight? Michael Myers. Trick or treat, baby. Shit. Let's go. Jesus Christ, could this guy walk any fucking slower? Just wait here. (DOOR BUZZES) All right, let's go. Come on. Here. (DOOR BUZZES) (ALL GRUNT) Somebody give me a hand here! The door is stuck! (PEOPLE YELL) (YELLS) (YELLS) (GASPS) (PHONE RINGS) (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) Gloria? (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) (Gasps) (Speaks Spanish) (Speaks Spanish) Oh! Huh! Mikey. What are you doing out of your room? OK. Phew! Now, don't do nothing we're both gonna regret later. OK, Mikey? I'm gonna have to get you back into your room, OK? I'm gonna get these... I'm just gonna get these handcuffs. I'm gonna try to put these handcuffs on you right now, Mikey. Then we'll get you back into your own bed, OK? Mikey! (Growls) I was good to you, Mikey. (Screams and sobs) Mikey! I was good to you, Mikey! (Coughs) Mikey. (PHONE RINGS) Hello? Sam. Who is this? Sam, it's Koplenson. Who? Dr Koplenson from Smith's Grove. He's out. Michael's out. What? He broke out a few hours ago. Sam, it's a fucking massacre. I'm coming right away. Alright. Oh, shit. SONG: # Modern-day warrior Mean, mean stride # Today's Tom Sawyer Mean, mean pride... # (HORN BLARES) Oh! That hit the spot. Alright, boys. Grizzly's back in town. Who's got the crackerjack? Grizzly's back. Yeah! Looky here, that's a new paint job. Don't mess it up. Don't scratch it. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, my goodness. Ooh. Naughty girl. Naughty, naughty girl. Hey, buddy, just to give you a heads-up, I got a taco deluxe supreme talking back at me, so I'm-a be a while. So do you mind waiting somewhere else and let me pass this beast in peace? Look, brother... ..if you looking for some kind of action, you better take it on the arches before I'm done dropping this load. Or you gonna be one sorry a-hole. OK, You just hold on, baby. I got something for ya. Let me introduce myself. I'm Joe Grizzly, bitch. And I'm-a cut that mask right off your face, you... Who you think you messing with?! Goddamn! (Grunts) Goddamn! Come on! (Grunts) SONG: # Mr Sandman... # Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Now what? Ah, it says here Nicholls Hardware is going out of business. 42 years and that's it. Over and done. Yeah, well, good. They're a rip-off. Dad, Mr Nicholls is a horny old pervert. OK. Don't even want to know. Oh, guess what, Mom? Mr Nicholls has touched me the wrong way. Ooh, whoo, whoo! Laurie! Stop! I'm sorry about that, OK. Are you eating? No. I'll get something at school. Oh, my God! Oh, sure. Just let the faceless marauding corporate monsters of America destroy everything beautiful about this town. Corporate monsters or not, Epic Mart's a lot cheaper. Oh, man. I gotta get outta here. Thanks again for dropping that thing off. No sweat, Dad. Just shove the envelope inside the mail slot. Yeah, Dad. I know. They're coming by to look at it later. It's very... Dad, Dad. OK, I understand. Muy importante. Love you too. Have a good day. CYNTHIA: Mason, you forgot your briefcase, honey. Oh, shit. (Laughs) Hey, Laurie! Wait up! Oh, God. Leave me alone, Tommy. Wait up! Definition - stop walking. Can I ask you something serious? Sure. Why not? Did you ever hear about the Mexican Wolfman? (Laughs) No. Yeah, well, he's real. I saw him on TV last night. And his name's Danny. And his face is completely covered with hair. But he likes soccer. I swear they showed... He's a wolf! OK. Tommy, I have no idea what you're talking about. Lay off the candy corn, kid. Quit acting like I'm crazy. It's true! Tommy, I'm your babysitter. You're crazy. I know this. You're crazy. You're crazy. (Howls) Alright, gotta make a stop here. TOMMY: Oh, whoa, whoa! What are you, insane? Oh, my gosh, Tommy. I'm not even listening to you. You'd better listen to me. Freeze right there. What are you, crazy? You can't go in there. Oh, yes, I can. That's the devil's house. The bogeyman lives in there. Oh, no, Tommy! Don't even joke about it. I'm serious. Ooh, so scary! Maybe the bogeyman will get me or Danny the wolfman! (Gasps) Oh, no, Tommy! Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's pulling me. Oh, no, Tommy. It's pulling me in! Ha ha ha. It's just a joke. Chill. I wish it wasn't. Come on. Hurry up. Chill, spazmonkey. Thanks. It's no place to screw around, Laurie. It's not a big deal. Not a big deal? Do you know whose house that is? It's not a big deal. Not a big deal? Do you know whose house that is? Come on, it's gonna be fine. Well, what if something happens? Laurie, what is gonna happen? I don't know. It's gonna be fine. What is going to be fine? Annie wants me to pretend to babysit Lindsey Wallace then sneak out and dump her with me so she can go see Paul. Oh, sounds like one of my crafty ideas. I like it. Anyway, I thought Paul was, like, grounded for trashing his dad's motorcycle. Oh, yeah. No, he was, but he got out of it. You know? Yeah. Please. What if they come home early? Dude, they are not gonna come home early, OK? Mrs Wallace is a lush. They're gonna be out all night getting hammered. Yeah. Annie, I really hate lying. You know that. What are you? Mother Teresa? No! Yes, she is. Look at her. She's a little angel. She's Mother fucking Teresa. Stop! I am not! Please. Alright, I'll do it. Yes! You owe me big time. I love you. I love you. "I love you. I love you." Do you know that ethyl alcohol boils at 78.5 degrees Celsius? I didn't know that. Yeah! That's pretty cool, right? We've given the authorities his complete profile. Two roadblocks and an all-points bulletin wouldn't stop a five-year-old. Well, what do you want us to do? Yes. I mean, what do you want us to do? I want you to get on the phone and I want you to tell them who broke out of here last night. And I want you to tell them exactly where he's going. Christ. We don't know where he's going. It must be great living in denial. I must try it some time! Look, you and that army of shirt-tuckers up there... ..you know damn well where he's going. (BELL RINGS) This is so fucked. What, me, suspended from the squad? I don't mean to sound conceited but I'm, like, the fucking hottest cheerleader they've got. Yeah, Lynda, that doesn't sound conceited. What, so now nobody can take a joke anymore? What did you say? Check it. So Lady Fuckface gives us three new cheers to learn. So I'm like, "Hey, why don't we just rock it commando, flash some snatch?" Maybe nobody will notice we're doing the same old tired cheers. Oh, you didn't. Oh, yeah. I did. Yeah, you did. You know what that dried-up fucking bitch did? What? Calls my dad and tells him what I said. Yeah, that C-U-N-T needs to get laid. What did your dad say? Oh, who cares? I'll just give him the little sweetie-pants princess suck-up routine. "Daddy's little pookie would never say something like that." Gosh, ever since your parents split up, you have your dad wrapped around your little finger. Totally wrapped. Hey, bitches! Hey, honey. Thanks for waiting for me. Whatever. Hurry your ass up. Hey, I heard about your little cheerleading incident. Yeah, I'm totally famous. Ha! You're totally a slut. I think that guy's watching us. What guy? The guy over there. Yeah? I saw him outside school earlier. Please. He's probably just some pervert cruising school poontang. Yeah, yeah. Wait, watch this. Hey! Hey, freak. You want some of the young stuff? You like that? Well, come and get it! Hey. Hey, asshole. Hey, my daddy's the sheriff. Huh? Why don't you go crawl back under your fucking rock? See? I told you. Just some stupid fucking pervert. Total pervert. Gosh, you guys are crazy. That guy could have been dangerous. God. Oh, whatever. What is he gonna do? I don't know! Oh, my God! You should date him! (Squeals) My butt! You should. (HORN BEEPS) Oh, no. Five-O. Hi, Dad. Hey, Mr Brackett. Nice furry hat, Mr Brackett. Thank you. What's up, Dad? I'm on my way home. Anybody want a ride? Yeah. Hell yeah, I'll take a ride. No. Bacon-mobiles make me nauseous. 'Bye. Nice. See you later. 'Bye, guys. Hey, kiddo. Hi. Kind of a drag having a pig as a dad. Ah, I like him. Yeah? Do you think he was flirting with me? You are so demented. Totally. Yeah. See ya. 'Bye. You know, I remember this mess just like it happened yesterday. It was tragic. Poor woman. I guess she couldn't stand the stress of being labelled Satan's mother. Think she blew her fucking head off. I'm still amazed. A young boy like that butchering all those people. The doctor involved...I think he wrote a book or something. Book of blood money. Yeah, I read that book. It was a masterpiece. Now, are we close? Yes, yes. It's just here. Goddamn sonofabitch! What? Fucking kids. Jesus Christ! I have nothing better to do with my time than clean up this shit? Fucking little idiots. Goddammit. You... Where the hell are you going? Who would do sick shit like this? I think I know whose grave that is. Dude, it fucking totally sucks that they're selling this place. It's reduced. Maybe I can buy it. Yeah. It's a shithole anyway. I'm going to miss it. Don't worry, dude. We'll find another house to party in. Besides, I'm gonna get the van all jacked up. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) (Lynda pants) Wait. Wait. Just like that. Just like that. Oh, God. Oh. Oh, wait. Wait. There. Right there. (Groans) Hold on. Hold on. Wait. My calf is cramping. (Pants) Wait. Just stop. Oh! Oh! (Grunts) Oh, fuck. Oh, damn. A little warning would be nice. I'm sorry. (Sighs) Jesus. Get me another beer. You get it. I'm the one who just did all the heavy lifting. Alright. I'll go. So, seriously, on a scale from 1 to 10...7.5? How about... (Gasps) ..zero! Zero! More like zero plus 11. (Lynda laughs) ('DON'T FEAR THE REAPER' PLAYS ON RADIO) (Sighs) (PHONE RINGS) Hello? LYNDA: Yo, mama. (Laughs) What up, dude? Nothing much. Oh, what's wrong? I was just thinking about what Annie said earlier today, concerning my so-called cheerleading incident. I don't know. It's kind of bumming me out. You don't think that, do you? Lynda, I don't think you're a slut. Come on. It's ridiculous. I don't give a shit what Annie thinks anyway. But I care what you think. Aww. (Laughs) (Screams) Uh! Fuck. Fuck! What... What the f... (Grunts, groans) Ahh! (Groans) Bob, Could you move your poky ass a little slower? Well? Could you? (Laughs) Well, that's cute. See anything you like? (Laughs) OK. Enough. Joke's over. Beer, please. Hey, Casper, the friendly asshole ghost, hand me my beer. Fucking hand it over, dipshit. (Sighs) Why do you become such a jerk every time we do it? You think you'd be grateful I let you touch me with that thing. Anyway, you're not a zero. You're fucking, like, minus 5 or something. What did you do to this beer? (Screams) (Chokes) (Breathes heavily) What about this big one here? That looks perfect. This one here? That one. Yes. That's lovely. .22 Smith & Wesson. That's good. That's... Mm-hm. Yeah, that's OK if you want to just piss it off. If you want to blow its fucking head off, this is what you want. 350 cyl Magnum. This mainspring - polygonal rifling. Beautiful, beautiful. Poly what? Muzzle velocity of 1,450ft per second. Great. Just wrap it up. That's fine. OK. Take it easy. Thank you. Yes. I'm in a bit of a hurry. If you could just wrap it up, that'd be great. Thank you. What are we hunting? CYNTHIA: Girls, you look so beautiful. LAURIE: Little princesses! There you go. Thank you. Candy! Oh, happy Halloween. 'Bye, you guys. 'Bye. 'Bye. (Chuckles) So cute. I cannot believe you're graduating this year. I remember when you used to run around looking like that. Mom, I was never a princess. Last thing I was their age was a dead Little Red Riding Hood. You were this beautiful ballerina. No. You bought me the blood. You said, "Mommy, it's too tight." "My dress is too tight." You don't remember? I never wore a tutu. Getting many kids? Only two so far. Listen. You be careful tonight. Mmm, I know. A lot of nutcases come out on Halloween. Dad, I'm just going to be babysitting. What's the worst thing I can do? Oh, OK. I'm just saying. (Chuckles) Alright. (Shrieks) (Squeals) Mom! (Laughs) Mwah. ANNIE: Hi, Mr and Mrs Strode. Hey, Annie. How's your dad? Oh, you know. The same as always. You know what that means? Mm-mn. Love you, guys. Love you too. 'Bye. Give me some lovin'. I'll give you some lovin' later but first we're gonna talk about the vacation. (Groans) I'm gonna go build a fire. I hate vacation. I wanna stay home. (THUD!) (Gasps) (Gasps) (Whimpers) (Screams) (Pants) (Screams) No! No! You leave my baby alone! (Grunts) (Whimpers) (Whimpers) (SNAP!) Laurie? What? Is the bogeyman real? Why are you so obsessed with the bogeyman, Tommy? Well, I hear things at school. Like what? Well, I heard that on Halloween night, the bogeyman sneaks out and attacks kids who don't believe. You know what, Tommy? That IS true. He likes to eat little boys like you. Oh, my God! The bogeyman's here! We're gonna die! Tommy, we're gonna die! (PHONE RINGS) Hold that thought. That's not appropriate babysitter behaviour, Laurie. Hello? Nyah. Shut up. Yo. It's me. Hey. So, the Wallaces are finally out of my face. I just talked to Paul. He's on his way over. So, I'm finishing making the Queen of Sheba her popcorn and then I will be over. I have some fun and exciting news for you. So I'll see you in a few minutes. OK, 'bye. Guess what, Tommy. What? Lindsey Wallace is coming over. What? She can't come over here! What if the guys see her? So? One - she's a girl. Two - she's not a boy. And three - she smells like you. This is going to be a long night. For the both of us. ANNIE: Lindsey, get your coat on. We're gonna go over and see Tommy Doyle. OK! Um, what are you doing? Nothing. Yeah, exactly. I said, "Get your coat on." We're going over to your late-night lover, Tommy Doyle's house. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. No, you didn't! Doc, I'm sorry if I don't sound too concerned, but a dead coyote and a missing headstone doesn't prove anything. Well, I think you're wrong, Sheriff. I think that it does prove that he's here in Haddonfield. It was a Halloween prank. Kids pulls shit like that all the time. The stone will be returned tomorrow. And besides, it weighs over half a ton. That's my point exactly. So, you're saying that one man picked it up, walked away with it. Yes. Doc, I may have been born but I wasn't born yesterday. I'm sorry, Sheriff, but please, sir, listen to me. This may be a matter of life and death. Alright, I'll tell you what I'll do. You come by my office tomorrow... Tomorrow is too late. Evil is here. It's walking amongst us. Doc, it sounds to me like you're talking about the Antichrist. Well, perhaps I am! (Sings) # Smell my feet Give me something good to eat # If you don't, I don't care I'll pull down Annie's underwear. # I can't believe you're making me haul this thing all the way over there. I can't believe you think I'm not going to tell. Are you gonna share some popcorn with your little boyfriend? No, I'm not. You know you are. You know you're gonna share something with Paul. Do you know how annoying you are? (Scoffs) How? (Sings) # Trick or treat Smell my feet # Give me something good to eat # If you don't, I don't care... # I swear to God, if you don't stop singing that song, we'll have a pumpkin-smashing party right here in the middle of the street. (DOORBELL RINGS) Tommy, where's your girlfriend Laurie? Laurie's not my girlfriend. I hate girls. Why doesn't anyone understand this? Good. So does Lindsey. Go worship your god. Hey. Brought you a present! Thanks. (Chuckles) You, my dear, will be happy to know that I talked to Paul about his buddy Ben Tramer. Oh, I thought you said Ben Tramer was retarded. Yeah, but he's not short-bus retarded or anything. What? He's OK. I mean, you need a boyfriend! Annie, I don't need a boyfriend. I'm fine. No, that's not... I meant, you NEED... (Groans) (Grunts) Oh, yes! Yes, Annie! OK, OK. Alright, you're right. (Chuckles) I need a boyfriend. So, what'd he say? He said - and I quote - "Dude, she's fucking hot." Really? Uh-huh. (HORN HONKS) Oh, fuck, that's Paul. I gotta go. Have fun. Thanks. I will. 'Bye, sexy. 'Bye. Hi, baby. How are you? PAUL: Good. How are you? Dr Loomis, I'm gonna have to level with you. I read your book. I know exactly who you are and, frankly, I don't like you. And I'll tell you something else. I think have you created quite the masterpiece of a monster off the blood of this town, because monsters sell books. Please, just look at this photograph on the cover of the book. Alright. I first met Michael 17 years ago. There was no conscience, no reason, even in a rudimentary sense of life or death, right or wrong. He's come back for her. And who is 'her'? He's come back for his baby sister. I know it in my bones, Sheriff. To do what? I don't know, Sheriff, but... ..it's not good. If I break a promise I made a long time ago, then you must promise that you will play it razor - and I mean razor - straight with me. (PHONE RINGS) MASON AS DRACULA: Hello. You have reached the Strode residence. (Cynthia quavers) We can't come to the phone right now. MASON: Please leave a message and have a... (Both howl) Happy Halloween! (Both cackle) (BEEP!) Yeah, this is Sheriff Brackett. Hello? If you can hear me, pick up. Please, if you can hear me, I need to talk to you immediately. Let's go. Laurie? What, Tommy? I would like to return to the subject we started earlier this evening. I've heard all about this. What do you want to know, Tommy? Why would he only attack kids who don't believe? I mean, it doesn't make sense. Is it because if you believe, then you're protected by his powers? OK, Tommy, enough about the bogeyman. It's nonsense. I'm with Tommy on this one. Yeah. Why do you keep avoiding the subject, Laurie? Is she scared? Maybe she is. Maybe she's scared! Oh, yeah. LINDSEY: Are you scared? OK, stop. Stop. Leave me alone for five seconds. Please! BOTH: Five, four... You guys. (Chuckles) OK, OK. Please don't. ..one! No, no! I'm gonna tell your parents! Hey, don't pull it like that. You're gonna stretch it all out. Come on, munchie. Stop. This is expensive, idiot. (Groans) Oh, do you want to fuck me? Yeah. Yeah? You're so fucking hot. Do you want to fuck me? Yeah. I want to hear you say it. I want to fuck you! Yeah? Say it again. It's so fucking warm. Mmm. Oh, my... (THUD!) What's the matter? (Yells) (Chokes) (Screams) (Grunts) (Screams) (Screams) (Screams) (Whimpers) (Cries) (Moans) (Cries) (Screams) Back 17 years ago, I respond to a 911 which turned out to be the Myers woman's suicide. And I see this beautiful, innocent baby sitting in this bloody mess and I can't imagine this child growing up with the stigma around her neck. So I omit her from the report. I drive her to another town and drop her off at the nearest emergency room and I think that this is gonna be the end of it. About three months later, I find out from a friend of mine, Mason Strode, that he's adopted the baby. Oh, my God. Cold? Yeah. Hey, come here. Did you have fun? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. Annie, I'm coming in. You'd better be decent. Where are the lights? Up here. (Screams) Annie! Annie! Oh, my God. Annie! Lindsey, run home. Go call the police! Go! Help! Help! Help! Oh, my God, honey. Are you OK? Oh, baby! What happened, hon? (Cries) (Sobs) I'm gonna call the police. (Murmurs) (Cries) Oh, God. (Sobs) Shit! WOMAN: 911. I need an ambulance! (Cries) (Whimpers) (Sobs) Laurie! (Whimpers) Laurie. Laurie! My name's Laurie Strode. I'm at 1987 Winchester Drive. MAN OVER RADIO: 911 - 1987 Winchester Drive. This is Brackett. What's the nature of the emergency? And who called it in? It's a stabbing victim call placed by a Laurie Strode. He's found her! He's found her, for God's sake! How long will it take to get there? About 10 minutes. Laurie! Please. You gotta hurry. Laurie! Laurie! Baby! Baby, hold on, OK? Annie, they're coming. Laurie! (Screams) Ahhh! HELP! Help! Please! (Whimpers) Help! Help! Please! Help! Please, somebody, help! (Cries) Tommy! Tommy! Open the door! Open the door! Tommy! Open the door! Tommy! Open the door! Open the door! Tommy! Open the door! Please! Tommy, open the... What's going on? What's happening? Where's Lindsey, Tommy? Where's Lindsey?! She's upstairs. She's upstairs! I'm right here! Tommy... (Screams) (All scream) Tommy, go upstairs! (Screams) (Screams) Guys, get in the bathroom! He's coming! Stop. Let's try to be quiet. (SIREN WAILS) (TV PLAYS) I've got this. You check upstairs. Right. (Laurie sobs) This is the police. Are you alright? He's out there! Please help us! The door's locked. Are you able to unlock the door? Are you able to open the door? Yeah. Is he gone? No, there's no-one out here. Please. Just unlock the door. Yeah, hold on. No, no, no! Open the door. (BANG!) (Screams) (All scream) Freeze! (Grunts) (Screams) (All scream) (Screams) No! No! (SIREN WAILS) Stay behind me. Annie? Sweetie? Annie? Annie? Hey, sweetie? (Murmurs) Stay with me. Stay with me. They'll be here soon. Come on, darling. Jesus. Over here! Over here! (Lindsey and Tommy yell) Inside here. The bogeyman! Help! Help! Guys, over here! What is it? The bogeyman. He's over there! He took Laurie. He took Laurie. The bogeyman. Alright, OK. Go over and stand by that ambulance. Just wait there and don't move. Lynda? (Whimpers) (Gasps) Lynda? Oh, Lynda. Oh, Lyn... Lynda, wake up! Lynda, wake up! Please! Lynda, wake up! (Cries) Lynda, please wake up. Please. Lynda, please, please, please, please, please, please, please wake up. I'm so... (Cries) Lynda, wake up. (Cries) Who are you? What do you want? No, no, no, no. Please. Please don't hurt us. Please. Please don't hurt me. Please. Please. Please. I don't understand. Please, just let... Please! Leave me alone! I don't know them! Please. I want to help you. I just don't understand. I want to help you. I just don't know how. I want to help you. (Sobs) I don't under... You motherfucker! (Screams) Help me! Please! Let me out! (Cries) Let me out! (Screams) (Shrieks) (Screams) Somebody please help me! (Screams) Please! Somebody, please! Fuck. (Grunts) (Screams) (Screams) (Screams) (Grunts) (Screams) (Sobs) Oh, please. Please. (Cries) Please. (Screams) HELP! Somebody, please! (Cries) Please. Please. Help! Somebody, please! Help! Help, somebody, please! Help! Somebody, please. Please. Please. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. (Sobs) PLEASE! Somebody! Please! Somebody! LOOMIS: Michael! Stop. Michael, it's me. Samuel. Michael, please stop! Help! Please! LOOMIS: Please. Stop! (Laurie screams) Stop! Michael! Shit. Help! Stop! (Whimpers) Please. (Sobs) Help me, please. Help me, please. (Cries hysterically) It's alright. It's alright. Please. You're safe now. Oh, please, please. It's OK. (Sobs) Ow. My leg. (Cries) It's alright. (Sobs) Was that the bogeyman? As a matter of fact, I do believe it was. (Screams) (Screams) (Screams) What the hell?! (Laurie screams) LOOMIS: Michael! Michael, stop! Michael, stop! (Shrieks) For God's sake, listen to me. It's not her fault. Michael, it's my fault. I failed you. (Grunts) (Grunts) Open! (Pants) (Gasps) (Laurie muffles cries) (Whimpers) (THUMP!) (Weeps) (Whimpers) Oh! (Shrieks) (BANG! THUMP! THUMP!) (Grunts and yelps) (Cries) (Shrieks) (Grunts) (Cries hysterically) (Screams) (Screams) (Whimpers) (Grunts) (SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE) (Pants) (GUN CLICKS) (SIRENS CONTINUE WAILING) (Grunts) (GUN CLICKS) (Grunts) (GUN CLICKS) (BANG!) (Screams) (Screams hysterically) (Continues screaming) Captions by SubStation. For a list of the week's captioned shows, see Teletext pp 321-327. Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. TVNZ Captioning 2010