1 1 1 'Feast your eyes on a familiar setting.' 'The bride's room. Recognise the usual suspects?' the radiant bride and the flower girl who dreams of the day when she'll be holding the bouquet.' 'Then there's me. Who is this mystery woman with a cushion full of pins?' 'I'm Lauren Crandell and I'm a junior wedding consultant.' 'Junior meaning that my boss barks the orders while I do the work.' 'I'm a seamstress, a gopher, an assistant, you name it.' 'Whatever it takes to make sure that everything will be perfect on that big day and although you might not believe me, everything typically does work out.' 'Well, most of the time.' Aaaargh! Are you OK? I'm OK. Aarrgh! 'Weddings, by their very nature, are fraught with peril.' 'That's why you need me. On your big day, it's my job to take care of anything that goes wrong.' 'I worry for you. I troubleshoot, problem solve and on occasion, work miracles.' OK, your turn. Don't forget to smile. You look so beautiful. Thank you. Alright. Dad. 'Having helped to plan in excess of 100 weddings, I've come to realise that there are a set of unspoken rules that every wedding consultant should know.' 'Rule number one. Do the work and never take the credit.' 'Let the bride and groom feel responsible for their perfect day.' 'Helping them achieve their dream makes it all worthwhile.' Hello? Oh, hi, yeah. I called about booking a band on October 10th and the bride and groom would love someone who can do both rock and poker. Uh-huh. Can you hang on one second? OK. Hello, Tying the Knot? Oh, hi, Barbara. Gosh, you know what? I'm so sorry you got into a fight with your maid of honour, but your wedding isn't until 2007, so I'm sure you guys will make up by then. Here you go, miss. No, I don't think you need to get a back-up. No. OK. I'm gonna call you as soon as I can. Alright, thanks, bye bye. Hi, OK. Sorry about that. Where were we? < Lauren, get in here! Um, actually, you know what? I'm so sorry to do this. I have to call you back. Alright, bye. Yes? You're never going to believe what happened. What? We just landed Darla Tedanski's wedding! Who's Darla Tedanski? The Sausage King's daughter. That's great. No, it's not great. It's monumental. It's gonna be the most high-profile wedding in Chicago. Do you know what that means? Er, long work days and virtually no sleep? It means a guaranteed cover story in Bride's Day. Imagine the publicity. Anyway, don't think I forgot about you, missy. If everything goes off without a hitch you'll get that promotion we talked about. Are you serious? Dead serious. Lauren Crandell, senior consultant. Your own accounts, your own assistant and of course a raise. I... I... I don't know what to say. Don't say anything. That interviewer will be here in ten minutes. You need to prepare. I'm on it. Bride's Day is my favourite magazine. Especially when I profiled in it. Oh, careful, dear. That china is worth more than your salary. Cranberry scone? I made them myself. Didn't Mommy, Snickers? You run your own business and still find time to bake. I don't know how you do it. (I do.) What was that, dear? Oh, nothing. I was thinking out loud about the flowers for the Hanscomb wedding. What's there to think about? The bride wants gardenias. But gardenias are out of season. We could ship from California but then we'd go over budget. I think lilies are a nice alternative. Are you consultant, too? Junior consultant. She does a little planning here and there but it wouldn't be a Gennifer Douglas production if I didn't do the gruntwork. (DOG GROWLS) I'll be at my desk if you need me. Now where were we? I was telling you about the Tedanski wedding. That's right. I must say, that's quite an undertaking for two people. Correction, dear. One person. My recently separated assistant is a little too emotional to be handling this big of an event. It's a very sad situation. 'Just for the record, I am not too emotional.' 'Rule number two.' 'A professional never lets her personal life get in the way of her work.' 'I was separated over a year ago and considering that my husband cheated on me, it was the best thing that could have happened. And although my marriage didn't work out, I still wholeheartedly believe in the sanctity of the institution.' (DOG GROWLS) Snickers! Stupid... Snickers! 'My first step towards that promotion was a meeting with the new client, Darla Tedanski.' 'Gi desperately wanted to come, but something came up.' 'Translation, she was having a Mommy and Me portrait taken with Snickers.' Excuse me. Hey, darling. Are you the Zen energy bar rep? No, actually I'm here to meet Darla. I'm the wedding planner. (GASPS) You're Lauren? Kisses. Mwah, mwah. Aren't you yummy? Hang on a sec, I'll fetch boss lady. 'So here I am waiting for the pork princess to arrive.' 'I wonder if she looks like her father?' 'OK, so Darla didn't look anything like a pork king's daughter.' You must be Lauren. Hi, it's so nice to meet you. Likewise. So, tell me, how long have you been Gi's assistant? Three years. That's commendable. I don't know what I'd do if I had to work under someone. What exactly do you do? I run my own advertising agency. Talk about stressful. Anyway, enough about me. Gi tells me you're flawless with details. My therapist calls it obsessive compulsive disorder. Well, that's a good thing. Considering the wedding's in a month. A month? Yeah, we were working with another planner but we just kept running ends. So... here is our file from the last consultant. It includes my likes and my dislikes all the way down to which shoes the flower girls should wear. Sorry to interrupt. Yogi Britney aggravated her sciatica. I told you no lotus position, Britney! I gotta go. If you have any questions, please ring Mark. Lauren, good luck. Britney, Britney! Mark! Mark! He's fine. It's here. No problem. Can we get some ice or an ambulance? Why is everyone not doing anything? Mark, please! Why do I hire you people? 'After spending the entire night colour coding Darla's file, I fixed one messy situation only to crash head first into another.' 'The Sebrianis, a nice Italian couple from the South Side were getting married. And, much to the bride's dismay, the groom decided to make a grand entrance.' Here I am! 'Rule number three.' 'Nobody cares about the groom. They've only come to see the bride.' Woo hoo! Alright! So, he's finally taking the plunge, huh? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Hold on, honey. It's OK. Everything's under control. I knew something like this was gonna happen. I'll be down in no time. Just stay put, OK, baby? I'm a little nauseous but it's OK. I love you. I love you, too. I'm not hurt. I'm not hurt, it's OK. I should have listened to my mother. Don't worry! You're gonna be fine, honey. Yes, can you get a fire truck to St Alfred's? (SIRENS WAIL) I'm OK. I'm fine. Hang on. I promise we'll get you down. You're almost there. It's OK, OK. Just try to relax. It's easy for you to say. Where you going on your honeymoon? Er, Tahiti. OK, I want you to close your eyes and pretend that you're already there, OK? Picture the white sand beaches, the crystal clear water, that Mai Tai in your hand. I don't like fruity drinks. Fine, it's a beer. And don't forget to put on some sunscreen. The sun's really hot. You're doing good. Keep relaxed. Let me guess. The groom fell head over heels. Er, what is he doing? Applying sunscreen. I have him visualising his honeymoon to stay calm. Er, where exactly does he think that he is? Tahiti. Tahiti, that's nice. You ever been there? No. But it's on my list. Your list? Of places I wanna travel to. Didn't realise people made lists for that sort of thing. I have a list for everything. Helps me keep things under control. Now, where's the fun in that? OK, that's OK. Take it easy. I'm about to die. No, no. Not gonna let that happen. Hold on. Come here. Relax. There we go. He made it. Thank you. So, you'll think twice before doing this next time, huh? Nice job, Nicky. You know I would have gone up there myself but I just ate lunch. Yeah, right. You're always the last one in, little brother, first one out, Jay. Hi. Hi. Thank you so much. No, no. Thank you. You were great up there. I was just doing my job. I'm Lauren. I'm the wedding planner. Nick. The fireman. What the hell where you thinking? Come on, you're such an idiot. Guess I'd better go. Duty calls. Yeah. Me, too. OK. So, er, see you around. Yeah. I hope so. Bye. Bye. Oh, did I tell you? I saw Brad's mother the other day at Dominic's. We were saying what a shame it was that the two of you had split up. She still has fond feelings for you, you know? Too bad her son doesn't. You know, it isn't too late to reconsider this whole divorce thing. Mom, I already signed the papers. Well, perhaps you were a bit hasty, dear. Marriage isn't a vacation, you know. It takes a lot of hard work to keep things together. Isn't that right, dear? Yes, dear. I just don't understand. You two seemed like the perfect couple. We just grew apart. That's cause for counselling, dear, not divorce. Marriage isn't something that you can take back like a sweater if it doesn't fit. 'You may wonder why my mother is so anxious for me to reconcile with an adulterer.' 'Well, for starters, she doesn't know he is one.' 'I didn't have the guts to tell her. I mean, look at her.' 'She's the epitome of the perfect wife.' 'I was afraid to disappoint her.' I just want you to be happy. I know, Mom. But I don't need a man to be happy. Couldn't you just consider giving Brad a second chance? (KNOCK ON DOOR) Hello? Anybody home? Oh, my God. You didn't. Trust me. It's for your own good. Hello, Brad. Hey. So good to see you. Nice to see you. You too, Hank. Brad. I'd like to taste that famous chilli of yours. Oh, look, Lauren. He brought you truffles. I know they're your favourite. No, they're not. Yes, they are. No, they're not. Honey, no-one can polish off a box of chocolates like you can. Right? Right. Well, did you bring the divorce papers, too? You're three weeks late in signing. Could I talk to you outside for a minute, please? Yeah. What are you doing here? Your mom invited me over. OK, fine. You want me to be honest? That would be a first. Ha ha. The whole finality of the situation. You want your mom to hear? She's right there. What do you want, Brad? I just want a little more time. Why? I'm not changing my mind. I know. I just need to get used to the idea, that's all. Honey, we used to be so good together. Back in college, maybe, when I was young and stupid. You don't mean that. Yes, I do. Honey, trust me, no-one knows you better than I do. Brad, could you help me open this bottle of wine, please? Sure thing, Mom. I'm so happy you understand. Thank you. Thanks. So, when will you let me set you up with someone? Why do married people feel the need to convert the singletons? Misery loves company. Very funny. What about my cousin, Barry? He's cute. He's allergic to sunlight. OK, bad choice. He's sweet. He's gay. Well, no-one ever met their husband in a bar anyway. Have you tried singleandlooking.com? Oh, my God would you stop? I am not looking. This is not part of my plan. What plane? I need to focus all of my energy on getting that promotion. Please. That's just an excuse to keep yourself unavailable. It is not. As a matter of fact, I met someone at the wedding today. Hello? Dish, immediately! A fireman. I love firemen. Why are they always so hot? I think it's that uniform. Was he a total himbo? No. Actually, he was so sweet and funny and had the most beautiful smile. He sounds amazing. I know. He's exactly what I'm looking for. If you were actually looking. I know.(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Great. Brad? Worse. Barbara the bridezilla. I'll be right back. Good luck. Hello? Barbara, you don't need to order your invitations this week. No, your wedding isn't for three years. Oh, sorry! Oh. Hey. Hey. Nick. Lauren, right? Yeah. I been thinking about you all day. You have? Yeah, about your whole list thing. Oh, you remembered. Yes. Um, so, what about my list? You said that you made a list for everything, right? Yeah. Even for the things you're looking for in a guy? Yeah. And you know what? That list is very long. I'm sure that is. So, would tall, dark, semi-charming, goofy firefighter type be anywhere on that list? Darling, you fetch my drink? Darla. Laura, hey. Er, it's Lauren actually. Of course. Right. I'm sorry. That's OK. How do you two know each other? Um, actually we just met today. Yeah. Isn't that nice? Well, I'm gonna go ahead and get back to my friend. Why don't you join us? You promised you'd dance with me. Come on! It's OK. It was nice seeing you both. Yeah, you, too. Where have you been? You are never gonna believe this. What? The fireman of my dreams is marrying the client of my nightmares. Oh. Can we go? Yes. 'There it was. James Nicholas Corina.' 'I understood immediately why Nick preferred his middle name to his first.' 'James was way too uptight for a handsome and free-spirited guy like Nick.' 'But what does it matter?' 'Rule number four. Never get involved with the groom.' Oh, and call Jacques. Find out if he can fly in from Paris to do my hair. If so, you'll have to buy a ticket for his poodle. Before I forget, book me a session at a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, would you? 'Rule number five. Beware of the psycho bride.' 'Psycho bride is someone who's completely lost touch with reality. Case in point, Darla.' Bonjour, Jacques. I'm calling from Madame T's office. I need a cut and colour, s'il vous plait. What do you think? It's stunning. You look like a queen. Queen Mary maybe. This skirt makes me look like a ship. Oui, oui. Es ist terrible. Next. I can't wait for you to see this one... Just so you know. I'm not paid to think. Just to agree. Trust me, I understand. Oh, honey, the only time I ever hear the word 'equal' is when she wants two in her latte. Here, you look like you could use this. Thanks. Sure. Beautiful. Way too JLo. At which wedding? Who cares? We know how they all turn out. OK, OK. This isn't working. Try again. That's nice. It would look good on you. That's pretty. Very young, very flirty. I... No. No. Here we are. Try this. Perfection. No. It's stupid. Look, look, look. 'Rule number six is an addendum to rule number five.' 'The only thing worse than the psycho bride is the indecisive bride.' No. That's nice. Doesn't feel right. No, no. OK. No. No, forget it. Oh, yes! Oh, my God. That's the one. It's absolutely gorgeous. Lauren? 'I hated it.' 'Not because she didn't look beautiful but because it was like the dress I wore at my wedding.' 'I wanted to cry but since I'm a professional, I did the next best thing.' 'I lied.' The dress simply doesn't do you justice. Well, I think we'll have to have something custom-made, then. 'After a miserable day with Darla, I was looking forward to the surprise Bonnie said she had in store for me.' Why didn't you tell me it was the fireman's ball? Cos I knew you wouldn't come. You're right. Nick is engaged. So? If he's indicative of the firefighter species, there are bound to be others. I don't wanna run into him. You won't. There's so many people here. What are the odds? Nick. Very nice to meet you. So, are you on your own tonight? Yes, I am. Me, too. I love that flower in your hair, the lily. It's beautiful. Thanks. It's my favourite flower. I'll have to remember that. So, how do you know Nicky? We met at a wedding. Lauren's a wedding planner. And what exactly does a wedding planner do? Oh. I don't wanna bore anyone. You won't bore anyone. Tell them about Mr Sebriani. Oh, the dangling groom? This guy thought that it would be a good idea to repel his way to the alter. Yeah, well his bride didn't think so. She actually smacked him. I know. She wanted to call the whole thing off. You're kidding? No. Till I told her she'd have to return the presents. That all sounds so stressful. Please, it's not like saving people's lives. Lives aren't worth saving without good relationships and celebrations. Well said. I'll drink to that. Cheers. Cheers. 'I couldn't believe it.' 'My ex husband couldn't tell people what I did for a living without a patronising laugh.' 'And here was a man who not only approved but actually understood.' 'There was only one tiny little problem.' 'He was about to marry someone else.' It's a classic case of Groom Panic Syndrome. Oh, no. I have to go save Robert from the fire chief's wife. OK. Go ahead. Woo hoo! What are you doing? Hey! What? You don't like my dancing? No. I don't really wanna dance but thank you. Come on, I'm a virtual Fred Astaire here. Hey, Jay. Maybe it's time to go home, bro. Don't start with the good brother routine. I'm working here. How about the sober brother routine? Fine. The open bar is closed anyway. Hasta la vista. Sorry. I can't believe he's your brother. He's actually a really good guy. He just gets out of control sometimes. He's a little stressed right now. Sorry. Maybe, er, we should dance? For our own safety. Sure. You're not bad at this. Thank you. You're welcome. My mom taught me a thing or two. She told me that a woman doesn't want a man with two left feet. I think she was talking about my dad. Your mom's a wise woman. She was. She passed away. I'm sorry. No, no, don't be. It was a long time ago and might help explain why Jay and I are so different. Since she wasn't around when he was growing up, he doesn't really understand women. Although I'm not really sure that I do either. Yeah, well we are complex creatures. Yeah. # With each word # Your tenderness grows # Tearing my fears # Apart # And that laugh # That wrinkles your nose # It touches my # Foolish heart # Lovely # Don't you ever change # Keep that breathless charm # Won't you please arrange it # Cos I love you # Just the way you look tonight # Tonight # I have to go. Wait, what if I have to get in touch with you? If I have a question about the wedding? Darla has my number. Why don't we just cut out the middle man and let me take you to lunch tomorrow? I can't. I have a wedding at Shadow Peak. Fine, well I'll see you there. You don't take no for an answer, do you? No. 'This is so wrong.' 'After a confusing evening, I was so grateful for the distraction of work.' 'But unfortunately that included baby-sitting my boss's dog, Snickers.' 'Determined to keep everything on track, I focused on my usual routine.' 'Man of the cloth, check.' 'Musicians, check.' 'Flowers, check.' (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) There's dinner, Snickers. Hello? Barbara, if you buy your gown now it'll be out of style by the time you get married. (BEEPING) Hold on a sec. Hello? "Lauren, we can't find the boutonnieres for the groomsmen.' Right next to the sign-in book. Barbara, I have to go. Let's hold out for that sample sale that I told you about. OK, bye. (CRYING) What's wrong? My dress is ruined! What happened? The dog did it. Snickers! Don't panic! Sorry. What's the hurry? I have to catch that dog. Done. Snickers, come. (GLASS SMASHES) There we go, there we go. You go this side, I'll go the other. Is this your dog? No, it's my boss's. She might wanna consider putting him on doggy Prozac. She can loan him some of hers. Oh, he's gone! (SMASH) There he is. You go right, I'll go left. Excuse me, wait. I got an idea. Thank you. Here, poochy poochy. Snickers. Here you go. Snickers? Yeah, it's his name. Don't ask. Here, Snickers, would you like a little quiche? Would you like a little quiche? OK, sorry. Thank you. Yes. Okey dokey. Thank you. No, thank you. As firemen we rescue so many kitties, so few doggies. Alright, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go work miracles. (WEDDING MARCH PLAYS) Ladies and gentlemen, please be seated. Great job. Thank you. You know, I think we make a pretty darn good team together, don't you? You know what? I think these interactions between us are a little inappropriate. Yeah, I agree. You do? Yeah. I think we should be having these interactions over dinner. That's not what I meant. Oh. How about it? I think it would be best to only talk about wedding related things. OK. Good. Darla told me you still haven't found a place for the reception yet. I have a great place in mind. Come on, how much more wedding related can it get? I'll think about it. Geez, when you said you had the perfect spot, I didn't think I'd have to change into hiking boots. Bear with me. We're almost there. Oh, that's pretty. I love it here. I come here at weekends to decompress. I vacuum to decompress. That's interesting. What do you do for excitement? I find organising my closet's good. Where are you taking me? You'll see. Don't worry, I'm not an axe murderer or anything like that. (LAUGHS) Yeah. Like you'd tell me if you were. (BEEPING) Your purse is chirping. Yeah, I know. The park district has a strict policy on wildlife in captivity. It's my walkie-talkie. Oh. Sorry. Hello? "Hey, Lauren, some woman named Barbara showed up looking for you." Tell her to have a piece of cake and I'll call her soon. Thanks. Never a dull moment, huh? Nope. There it is. Wow. A fairground. Trust me. 'Right. I'm gonna trust a guy who's engaged to my client.' 'I'll just keep smiling politely.' We used to come here all the time as kids. I thought it would be a great place for a reception. It's great. But I don't think this is what Darla had in mind. Besides, we'd have to rent tents and bring in caterers. And think of all the mosquito repellent we'd have to buy. OK, so it's a bad idea. It's not a bad idea. It's the thought that counts. Here's another thought. How about we take a ride on that carousel before we head back? Come on, I'll make sure you get paid time and a half. Just a carousel ride. You know, the merry-go-round was my favourite ride as a little girl. I was more of a tilt the world kind of guy. Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I didn't ask you all the way out here to talk about the wedding. Really, I wanted to talk about... when the ride's over, I'd like to talk about... ..you and me. 'I knew there could be no you and me involving Darla's fiance.' 'But when Nick said those three little words they sounded really good.' 'I was getting in deeper and deeper and had to put a stop to it.' You know what? I have to go. Right now? Uh-huh. Don't you wanna at least wait till the ride stops? I'll get off here. (GROANS) Are you OK? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Looks like you twisted that badly. Let's get you to a hospital. I'm fine. Ow! See? OK, OK, OK. OK, OK. Like I said. No, I'm fine, I swear. We're gonna get you to the hospital, OK? I don't need to. I do this for a living, OK? 'Two hours in the emergency room and two Percocet later, I was feeling no pain.' Sssshh. OK. You must be Brian, OK? OK, sorry. Do you live alone? Yeah. No, I mean, yes, but my sister's staying with me. She and her boyfriend broke up. Er, hello? Hello? (LAUGHS LOUDLY) I don't... I don't think she's here. I don't really wanna leave you by yourself. You've taken a lot of pain medication. I'm fine, really. Except you know what's really funny and weird? I can barely focus but God, you're cute blurry. Thank you. Thank you. (LAUGHS) I had so much fun today, though. Not the last bit though. But the park was fun. I loved the row boats and that carousel. Until I fell off! Yeah, that wasn't... I'm so stupid. No, no. I like you, Nick. I do. I know I shouldn't, but... I do. (CUTLERY RATTLING) Oh, my God. He's still here. Now, I've never met anybody who made a to do list in their sleep before. Yeah, my sister's kinda freaky like that. I think it's pretty cute. Morning, patient. How's the ankle? Er, better. What is going on in my kitchen? Er, your sister conned me in to making breakfast. You should try Nick's pancakes. They're better than Mom's. You should sit. I'm making you food. Well, thanks for the grub but I gotta motor to make it to class. Bye bye. Bye. So, how you feeling? Er, confused. Oh. I didn't want to leave you by yourself last night. You were pretty out of it. Where was Lilly? She was out clubbing until 5AM this morning. You and your sister, you're very different. Yeah. That's putting it lightly. Your juice. I just squeezed it fresh. OK, this is too much. I appreciate everything but the juice, the staying over, I don't want you to think that this means anything. You're gonna tell me you don't date your clients? Of course I don't date my clients. OK, well, that settles it for me. I'm out of the wedding. You can't! My God! And this dish by the way needs to soak and this kitchen is a mess! I don't want you to hurt yourself, OK? Don't do it. The dishes? No, the wedding. So, now you don't want me in the wedding? No, I do want you in the wedding. Alright. I have to go to work so let's discuss this over dinner. Absolutely not! OK, great. Meet me at the station at about six. Are you kidding me? I never joke about food. Try your breakfast and you'll see. Where have you been? It's practically lunch! It's 10.30. And I'm late because I sprained my ankle. Lauren, dear, I can't have you handicapped for one of the most important weddings of my career. No matter now. She says it's important and she only wants to speak to you. Did she say what it was about? The wedding of course. Now, hurry up! (CRIES) Listen, Darla, I can explain. I am so sorry, I don't know what to say. You don't have to say anything. I feel so awful. You have no idea. Don't. It's not your fault. It's not? Of course not. How can you be late to an appointment I never made? Well, then why are you crying? My fiance and I had a fight the other night. It was so bad he even threatened to call off the whole wedding. What was your fight about? The guest list. It's silly, really. That's why I know you can help us work things out. Of course. I hope you don't mind, I told him he could meet me here. You did? I just know if there's a practical person present, he'll listen to reason. Right. Excuse me one minute, OK? Thanks. I'll be right back. Oh, hi. Lauren, right? Er, yeah. Listen, I'm really sorry about the other night. Don't even worry about it. No, really. You know what? I can't talk right now. I'm dealing with a client. Yeah, Darla said you wanted to talk to us about the guest list. I thought that was between the bride and groom. It is. Then is Nick coming? Not that I know of. Sweetie, hi. So, are we still waiting on the groom? It's me. Jay is James, the groom. But I thought that... Isn't Nick the... Best man. Of course he is. Then let's go work on that guest list. 'Rule number seven. Everything that can go wrong can go right, too.' 'Nick wasn't engaged after all.' 'No more confusion, no more guilt. The road was finally clear.' (ALARM GOES OFF) Come on, everybody! Big run! Good job. Hey. Hi. Alright, everybody down. Don't worry, it's just a drill. Oh, that's a relief. They look a little young. hey, guys, next week, I'm gonna show you guys how to come down the fire pole. (ALL GIGGLE) Hey, alright. Enough, enough. Hey, I have to hang around till their parents get here. Do you mind hanging out with us? No, not at all. OK. I promise you, it'll be worth the wait. In the meantime, who wants to play tag? You're it. Alright, I got you! Careful. Thank you. Well? Wow. So, this is worth the wait? Right, humour me for a second. The last time I humoured you, I ended up with a sprained ankle. Watch your step, watch your step. Thank you. Can you tell I'm not a huge fan of surprises? Yeah. Why not? Surprises can be the nicest part of life. Hmm, speak for yourself. (GASPS) Wow. This is amazing. You think? I discovered this place putting out a fire in this building. I came up here to get some air and I just... I couldn't believe how beautiful it was. It's gorgeous. So, you ready to eat? I don't wanna leave yet. Oh, OK. In that case,... ..you don't have to. I hope you don't mind dining al fresco. For a guy who doesn't like to plan ahead, this certainly required a lot of forethought. I bet you even had to make a list. Yes, I did. But it was definitely worth it. Glass of wine? I'd love one. Thank you. You're welcome. Cheers. To surprises. I can't believe how beautiful this is. Yeah. You know, I'm really glad you came tonight. I was starting to think you weren't interested at all. Well, actually, there's a reason why I've been so standoffish. I thought you and Darla were together. Isn't that crazy? It's not that crazy. Darla and I did go out. You were a couple? No, no. We went on two dates. It was nothing. It was just really weird seeing you together at the bar. She was hanging all over you. Darla is just a big flirt. We're not together, believe me. Jay was supposed to meet us but got stuck at work. Lauren, I don't play games. I'm a very straight-up guy. Honesty is very important to me. And Darla? Mmm-hmm? She's just not my type. What is your type? Well, alright... Starting with the basics. Female. Non-smoker, preferably no prison record. Unmarried. No, you don't wanna deal with those pesky ex-husbands. Intelligent, sensitive,... ..slightly obsessive compulsive. Incredibly beautiful. You know, someone like you. Thank you. You're welcome. Are you gonna run away if I try to kiss you again? # Some day # When I'm awfully low # When the world is cold # I will feel the glow # Just thinking of you What do you think of my apartment? It's very nice. Sorry. It's a little messy. # Tonight # You know, you never told me what your type was. Well, I'm looking for someone who is smart,... ...and funny... ...trustworthy,... Would you settle for me instead? Hmm? I am talking about you. # And that laugh # That wrinkles your nose # It touches my foolish heart # Lovely # Don't you ever change # Keep that breathless charm # Won't you please arrange it # Cos I love you # Just the way you look tonight # Oooh, tonight # Stop right there. I'm making a citizen's arrest and ordering you back to bed. I'm late for work. I'll write you a note. Clothes are the enemy. Do you mind if I pick that up? I just had it dry-cleaned. At Chez Corina, we leave our baggage at the door. Yeah, and apparently everything else on the floor. Can you handle that? I can try. OK. I think I have something... that might help you. I meant to give this to you last night but... I forgot. A rock? I thought when a girl got a rock it was in the form of a ring? Yeah, that's not a rock, it's a stone. That's a worry stone. Whenever you feel really stressed you just rub your worries away. Thank you. You're welcome. That's so sweet. I'll stay for a few more minutes. OK. Sorry I'm late. (GLASS SMASHING) Gi? Is anyone in there? I have a weapon! Why do you hate me? "Gone to Atlanta wedding convention. Please take King Snickers to doggy day care." Great. Lauren? Hi, there. I'm Linda Tedanski, Darla's mother. Hi. It's so nice to meet you. Likewise. (DOG BARKS) What an adorable little dog. Oh, he's a real charmer. I'll set him out here, we'll go in there and talk. Please, come on in. Have a seat. Oh, please, excuse me. That chair is a little more comfortable. Thank you. Yes, that's better. OK, so. About the seating chart. They told me that your mother wanted to sit with her bingo friends and I actually have them all sitting together at table 20. Is everything OK, Mrs Tedanski? Actually, no. I'm not even sure it's appropriate to tell you this, but troubleshooting is what we pay you for. Right. Let me first say that Darla is a wonderful girl. Oh, yes, of course. She just always had a bit of a wild streak but I thought since she got engaged... ..I saw one of the groomsmen at my daughter's yesterday. Mrs Tedanski, there's nothing unusual about that. Naked. With Darla? Were they...? Do you by chance know which groomsman it was? I only saw the back of his head, but I think it was his brother. Nick? Yes. The one she used to date. But that's impossible. With Darla, anything's possible. So, you think that Darla and Nick - Are having an affair. I'm afraid so. I just don't know what to do. Neither do I. 'I told Bonnie it was an emergency and she had to meet me at the bar, and even though it was happy hour, there was nothing 'happy' about it.' It makes sense, right? I decide to trust men again and look what happens. I'm such an idiot. No, you're not. Can I buy you a drink? Why? So, you can lull me into a false sense of security and break my heart? No thanks. Never mind. Too much? Just a little. I mean, in Nick's defence, Mrs Tedanski said she only saw the back of his head. She said it was the brother. How many brothers does he have? One, I think. Look, I don't wanna jump to conclusions. I just don't want you to fall for another Brad. Trust me, Nick is definitely not Brad. Or maybe he is. He said he wasn't like his brother, but who knows. I don't know what to believe. What does Nick have to say? I don't know. I've been avoiding his calls. Maybe you should give him a chance. I'm tired of second chances. Hello? Is anybody there? I'm in here. Hi, Lauren. Oh, hi, Darla. I was just working on your table for the reception. What do you think? It's fine. Um, well, because if you don't like it - Forget about the table. I want to get married sooner. How much sooner? This Saturday. Why can't you wait the extra two weeks? Because I just can't. Listen, Darla. If I'm gonna go through the huge inconvenience of moving up your wedding, I need a better reason than, 'You just can't.' I'm pregnant. Well, I'm sure Jay will make a great dad. It isn't his. Excuse me? I said the baby isn't his, OK? Whose is it? Darla. Whose is it? It's his brother's. What the hell is wrong with you? You've got everything and you're throwing it all away? You think because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth gives you the right to treat people the way you do? I've got news for you. Being privileged doesn't make you entitled. Are you finished yet? No, I am not finished because I haven't answered your question. No, Darla, I will not move up your wedding because frankly I think this is part of your latest scheme. So fire me. Actually, tell Gi to fire me but I won't do it. You're gonna have to find some other way out of this mess and I suggest that you start being honest with the people that care about you cos they don't deserve this. Now I'm finished. You'll be sorry you said that. You! Hey! Let go of that! Stupid dog. Gimme that! Good boy, Snickers. Good boy. Yes, you are. you are such a good boy. Yes, you are. You are. I know. 'Even though I probably ruined my chances of getting that promotion, telling off Darla was the first time I ever stood up for myself and it felt great.' (DOORBELL RINGS) What are you doing here? We need to talk. I don't wanna talk to you. About anything. Brad! So my therapist thinks we should get back together. He says that I'm not going to grow as a me. I need to be a we. Ah. There is no 'we.' There never was. It was only you. That's not true. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. God, Lauren, you're being really harsh. Oh, I'm being harsh? You cheated on me. What is it with you guys? Is it so hard to stay faithful to one woman? Actually, my therapist says it's not within our genetic makeup. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? How you destroyed any hopes I had of our life together? Do you? Well, I said I was sorry. Sorry isn't good enough. Sign. Oh, Lauren, you don't want me to sign this. Yes, I do. No, you don't. Shut the hell up, Brad. For once I'm gonna have the last word. Sign. OK. But your mom is gonna be really pissed. I'll take my chances. You know the way out. Who are you? Who are you? I'm Lauren's husband. Er, can I talk to her for a minute? Oh, sorry. She's in the bath. Why don't you give me your name and I'll tell her you stopped by? No, no, it's alright, thanks. 'As I arrived at work the next morning, the buzz I had from my self-empowerment binge quickly wore off. Gi was back in the office and I was certain I'd be fired.' Lauren! In here now. What the hell happened while I was gone? Gi, listen. I can explain. My chair is ruined. You mean this isn't about Darla? Not unless she's the one who peed on it. Of course not. Snickers had an accident when you were gone but, it's only because he missed you. Oh, there's my precious baby. Come to Mommy, Snickers. (GROWLS) Go to your momma, Snickers. Come on, Snickers. Go to your momma. He's just trying to make you jealous. I guess. So, what were you saying about Darla? I was wondering if you spoke to her. No, but I spoke to her mother and she said to compliment you on handling a very delicate situation. She said that? And that we're moving the wedding up to this Saturday. They're still going through with it? Why wouldn't they? Gi, I don't think this is something I can really do. Please. You need to overnight these. So, I'm not fired? Of course not. I told you if you pull this off, you'll be promoted. My migraines are back. 'I should have been thrilled that we pulled off Darla's wedding in two days, but all I could think about was Nick.' 'How could I fall for someone who would sleep with his brother's fiance, and then lie to me about their relationship?' 'Despite how betrayed I felt, I knew I had to do a good job no matter what.' Darla, I have your - Rick! I told you to lock the door. Rick? Rick Corina. Jay and Nick's little brother. 'Nick wasn't having an affair with Darla.' 'A wave of relief washed over me.' 'Until I realised there's still something horribly wrong with this picture.' How could you? Is there a fourth or fifth brother I don't know about? Have you slept with them, too? Do you honestly think you can manage till death do us part when you can't even stay faithful for a day? Don't be so provincial. And you, how could you do this to your brother? He stole my girlfriends before. Darla? Jay! Honey, it's not what you think. Oh, yeah? Yeah, Jay. she can explain. Really. Why don't I explain something? Jay! No. Hey, get off him! Do something! Guys, come on! Guys, stop it. That's it! Rick! Stop it! Oh, my God, you're ruining your suits! Rick! Nick! You OK? Yes. I need to talk to you. Not now. I wanna apologise. Doesn't matter. I'm not interested in being with a married lady. I know! I made a mistake about you and Darla. Darla? I'm talking about you. Huh? I met your husband last week. What? (WHISTLES) What on earth is going on here? All of you stop it this instant! You should be ashamed of yourselves and why are you just standing there? Why didn't you do something? Never mind. We have a wedding in 15 minutes, and I'll be damned if this is the first Gennifer Douglas production to get cancelled. You. Drink this. And you finish getting dressed. You boys make sure your father doesn't hear about this. As for you, you've done enough damage, so just try to keep out of sight. You know, you'll never make it in this business if you don't learn how to take charge. (WEDDING MARCH PLAYS) 'Thanks to Gi's flask, Jay finally managed to make it to the altar and after a few swigs myself, I managed to make it to my seat.' 'I wanna tell you that with all my organisational skills and empathy, I fixed everything.' 'But all I did was help the groom get drunk while Gi convinced Darla and Jay to go through with the wedding.' Marriage is a sacred institution created by God as a symbol of the union between a man and a woman. If anyone objects to this union, please speak now. (HICCUPS LOUDLY) I believe we'll move on to the vows. (WHISPERS) The rings. These rings are a symbol of commitment and fidelity. (That's rich.) James, do you take Darla to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward in sickness and in health till death do you part? How could you cheat on me with my own brother? Would you like me to repeat the question, sir? No, that won't be necessary, padre. With all due respect, I don't take Darla to have and to hold. I changed my mind. Don't want her any more. Wait a minute. You can't break up with me cos I'm breaking up with you! Whatever! Darla, no. Quiet, mother. I have something to say. I wouldn't marry Jay Corina if he was the last man on earth! And I would never had the courage to state my true feelings if it hadn't been for Lauren Crandell. She taught me that I need to be honest with the people who care about me. No, no, no. That's not what I meant. The point is, I'm breaking up with Jay... ..because I'm in love with his brother. Nick? No, Rick. So, that's who I saw naked? And I'm proud to say that I'm having his baby. 'Even though Darla didn't go through with the ceremony, Lou Tedanski was damned if he didn't go through with the reception.' 'Gi warned me that I'd never get ahead if I didn't take charge, so thanks to a combination of overwhelming stress and Gi's flask of truth serum, I decided to throw caution to the wind and speak my mind.' Hey, you know what? You... sorry. Should be ashamed of yourself. No, no, no. I'm not finished. You need to grow up and know what it means to be a man, a brother, and in seven months, a father. Are you finished? (HICCUPS) With you. OK. Hey! Wanna know what I think? I'm not sure I do. I think you should have had Darla fixed when she was 15. Don't you think? Oh, my. Could you excuse us, please? Sorry. Lauren, I think it's time you go home. I don't wanna go home. I wanna take charge. Oh, I feel dizzy. Come on, come on. Nick! Nick. God, this was all a misunderstanding. I was so wrong about you and Darla and you were so wrong about me and Brad and we're not really married. I mean, we are technically, but we're going through a divorce and isn't that great news? Lauren, I don't think we should see each other any more. Why not? Because you didn't trust me. Lauren Crandell. You're fired. Great. 'Oh, Nick's words were ringing in my head when I woke up.' 'He turned my trust issues against me, and he was right.' 'I should have known better.' 'But even with a horrible hangover, I had a moment of clarity.' 'Rule number eight. When it comes to love, there are no rules.' Oh, forget it. How you feeling? Oh, let's see. I'm single, jobless and have a killer hangover. Look, why don't you call Gi, ask for your job back? Because it was a blessing in disguise. I'd rather be poor and unemployed than under Gi's thumb. (DOORBELL RINGS) I'll get it. I bet these will cheer you up. These are pretty. Yeah. They're for you. "Lilies for my lily"? "Please come home, love Banjo." Isn't he the cutest? What happened to your three month rule? Sometimes life surprises you. Good news is, you can have your apartment back. Oh, great. Now I can add lonely to my list. Could things get any worse? Oh. Actually, Mom called. She said you're supposed to meet her for brunch. Lauren. It's 11am, dear. It's more than past the time to comb one's hair. And why are you wearing those ridiculous sunglasses? Mom, please. Slow down. And please lower your voice. Why? Do you have a hangover? I'm begging you, can we talk about something else? Yes. Look. Yes, I'm familiar with it. But look at the cover. "Junior wedding consultants ` the real experts." Listen. "Today's Renaissance women." "Junior consultants like Lauren Crandell handle everything from torn veils to dangling grooms." Did they mention Gi? No. She is gonna have a fit. Well, I think it's wonderful. Now all you need is a man to share in your success. Which reminds me, have you called Brad? Mom. Mom, there's something that I need to tell you and please, please listen carefully because this has taken me over a year to get the courage. What is it, dear? Oh, my God. Are you a lesbian? It's OK if you are, honey. As long as I can still have grandchildren. Mother! I am not a lesbian. The real reason why Brad and I broke up is because he cheated on me. What? He tried to sleep with Lily while we were married. He did not! Ask her. Oh, my God. Oh, and all this time I've been pushing a cheater on my own daughter. Oh, I'm so sorry. Mom, it's not your fault. You didn't know. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I was ashamed. I mean, you have the perfect marriage. I really didn't wanna disappoint you. Oh, Lauren. Lauren, you could never disappoint me. No matter what you do. Thank you. No, thank you. For being honest. This is good. Now I don't have to make polite conversation with that annoying mother of his. Mom. I love you. I love you too, dear. 'My mother's faith in me made me think about what I wanted to do next.' 'I was missing work.' 'There's something about being a wedding planner that no matter how challenging, makes me happy.' 'Rule number nine.' 'Even in a wedding with catastrophic blunders, there should always be a moment of pure, unadulterated goodwill.' 'It's knowing that I had a hand in creating a second or two of perfect harmony that keeps me coming back.' 'And that's when it hit me.' 'I didn't just wanna watch these happy moments, I wanted to live them.' Hello? Anybody here? Well, isn't it the wedding planner from hell. Jay, I'm so sorry. I really wish that things turned out differently. I wish I wasn't paying for Rick to go on my honeymoon. Well, at least you found out now. Trust me, it hurts a whole lot more after you say I do. What do you want? I'm looking for Nick. He's not here. Do you know where he is? Just put out a fire, he's gonna be cleaning up for a while. I can't wait that long. Jay, I really need to talk to him. What you doing? Well, this is an emergency, right? Giving you a ride. Your brother was right. About what? You. You're not such a bad guy. (SIRENS WAIL) Look out! Coming through! Hang on. Let's go. Move it! Nick! Nick! Lauren? What are you doing here? Your brother dropped me off. I really have to talk to you and I'm really sorry. It couldn't wait. Um, my sister told me something really wise today. She said life is full of surprises, and sometimes someone really special comes along who's worth taking a risk for. And I think that... ...I know that... I know that you're worth taking that risk and if you'll have me,... ..I would really love a second chance. Can I give you a hug? No, no. Look how dirty I am. You probably had that thing dry-cleaned so it would look terrible. (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Are you gonna answer that? Absolutely not. (CLAPPING) Alright! I know that file is here, Barbara. I've been looking for it. I know I'm gonna find it, OK? Sorry it's taking so long. It's been chaos around here. Barbara, let me get back to you. Lauren. Thank God. Er, I'm just here to pick up my things. No. You can't leave! The office has gone to hell since you left. I didn't leave. You fired me! The point is, since that magazine article, everyone's been asking for you. You have to come back. I don't know. If not for me then for Snickers. Since you've been gone he's been ripping the place to shreds. He has always been that way. Fine. Forget the dog. I'll give you that promotion. Pay you six figures. You can even have your own assistant. My own assistant? Can make your own hours. Anything you want. I'll accept your offer under one condition. You name it. That this time I can quit. Excuse me? I am sick and tired of you treating me like an indentured servant and then taking credit for everything. This is the thanks I get for taking you under my wing? How could you do this to me? Easy. Snickers! Stop that now! Hey, boss lady. Brought you a latte. I told you not to wait on me. In this office you're an equal. In that case I'm voting myself a raise. Don't push it. I gotta go. The wedding's at eight, right? Yep. So, plan on meeting me in an hour? Mmm-hm. OK. Oh, and er, Mark? Yes, dear? You are planning on changing, right? Of course, darling. One mustn't upstage the bride. I'll see you in a bit. You do the final run through and I'll check on the bride. "Ten four, little lady. Over and out." How you holding up, sis? Great. Everything's going according to plan. OK. Oh, sorry. You look beautiful. Thanks. You're gonna make me ruin my make-up. Here. Old habits die hard. I am so happy for you. Well, I guess we better get started. You ready to do this? Ready as I'll ever be. 'So, what have I learned?' 'Rule number ten. Remember that true love isn't about embossed invitations or the size of your bridal party. True love is what you find when you least expect it.' 'True love is taking the risk that it won't be a happily ever after.' 'True love is joining hands with a man who loves you for who you are, and saying, "I'm not afraid to believe in you." 'A love like that will survive anything.' (BEEPING) Duty calls. Have a good one! Congratulations, Nick! 'Even a less than perfect wedding.' We're still gonna do it. Friends, loved ones... IMS Subtitles www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2008