www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016 1 1 (wind whistling) MALE VOICE (over radio): Scorch, Scorch, are you there? Come on, Scorch. Get back to me. You haven't run off and done something reckless, have you? Gary! We've got a problem! GARY (voice-over): That's my brother Scorch. As usual, he's in trouble. How did he get into this mess? For that, I have to go back a long, long time. (audio rewinding) Baby rescue mission: Planet Gnarlach. GARY (whispering, over radio): Quiet, Scorch. Whatever you do, don't wake the Gnarlachs. (voice-over): Hey, that's me. Gary Supernova. I work in mission control, which means I control the mission. Scorch doesn't see it that way. Oh, relax, Gary. They're fast asleep. GARY (voice-over): And that is a Gnarlach. Scary, slimy... (Gnarlach belches) -...and surprisingly stinky. -(gasping) GARY (over radio): Uploading that to BlueTube. Gary, this place smells worse than the latrines at the BASA Academy. Mmm, thank you for that. MALE VOICE: Um, I was programmed at the BASA Academy. -The only thing I smelled there was progress. -Zip it, James. The name's Bing, by the way. James Bing. GARY (over radio): All right, Scorch. Let's find those babies and get you out of there. SCORCH (whispering): Bingo. Spacecraft identified. Good. Now, proceed with extreme caution. Negative. Proceeding with style. GARY (over radio): Not style again. Scorch! Shh. Hah! Triple Star System into a Reverse Galaxy, followed by a Double Black Hole with a twist. And he sticks the landing! GARY (over radio): Now proceed with caution. (latch clunks; power buzzes, whirrs) Okay, Scorch, the babies should be straight ahead. SCORCH: Copy that. (gasps) No! Bad news, little brother. We're too late. They've eaten the babies. (sobbing) It's so unfair. Scorch, they're right behind you. -What? -(baby cooing) (chuckling): Oh. Hi, little guys. (cooing) Uncle Scorch is here to rescue you. -Coochie, coochie, coo. -(laughing) (babies' laughter echoing) Yeah, Gary, maybe tell Scorch to keep his voice down in this situation? Just a thought. Scorch, quiet! SCORCH: Gary, you should see them. They're so cute. It's magical. GARY: You're going to wake up the whole neighbourhood. And this is not a good neighbourhood. -Peekaboo. -GARY: Scorch? -(babbling) -(laughter) (mimics mechanical whirring noises) -(makes farting noises) -Excuse me. Oh, good. Here we go again. Scorch! (babies' laughter) (growling) Gary! We've got a problem! GARY: Of course we have a problem. You never listen to me. You said there were 12 Gnarlachs, Gary. No, I said 1,200. Uh, nope, I don't think you did. -There are 1,200 Gnarlachs down there. -Got it. -1,200 baby-eating Gnarlachs. -Got it. 1,200 of our archenemies, the Gnarlachs. -1,200 of 'em. -Got it. Nope. I think I'd remember if you said 1,200. (grunts) Now, do your thing! Okay. Chasm of death in 20 yards and closing. Deploy grappling hook in three... ...two... (screaming) ...one. Whoo! Oh, yeah! You see that? Boom! That's what I'm talking about. Scorch me, baby! (growling) Helpless babies, your chariot awaits. (alarm chirps) (whirring) In your face, Gnarlachs! I got the babies! Ha-ha! -(alarm blaring) -(grunts) (babies crying) Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Guys, come on. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. No, no, no, don't cry. -Huh? -Don't cry. Shh, shh, shh. -Gary? -GARY: I'm on it. (crying stops) Ha! Take that! # # BOY: Supernova-9, you are clear for landing on Planet Dad. Hey! This is a no-fly zone, mister. Very funny, Dad. I'm serious. This console is expensive, Kipper. Console?! I mean, they're right here. Unbelievable. Can I have my spaceship back? - No. - Dad, you never let me do anything. Okay, but be careful. Yeah, yeah, I know. (grunts, screams) -(sizzling) -Aah! -It burns! It burns! Aah! -Ugh. -Ooh! -Sorry, Dad. KIP: Hey! Okay, let's play the game where you sit on your hands. -That game stinks. -SCORCH: Hey, Gary! Be a pal, park this puppy, will you? Activating remote assistance. Time to watch your old man bring in the Supernova-9 for a landing. -Scorch is back! -(cheering) I love you, Planet Baab! Whoo! (laughing) Boom! Cool. And that is how you do that. -Gary! -What?! Okay, that's terrifying. Why do you always call me in jumbo head mode? We've received an SOS from an uncharted sector of the galaxy. Prepare for Scorch's next mission. Copy that, boss. Where are we headed? He's going to the dark planet. Lena, are you crazy? Let me rephrase that. They call it the dark planet because nobody ever comes back. It's like going into a black hole. He leaves in an hour. Whoa! He's going to the dark planet? Wicked! Stay here. Don't touch anything. And nobody's going to the dark planet. We are going to the dark planet! (cheering) -Scorch! -Scorch, one question. No questions; just pictures. (grunting) Yeah, baby! Excuse me, Scorch. Scorch Supernova. Yes, the beautiful young lady in the front row. -Oh. -Hi, sweetie. -Welcome home. -(crowd gasping) Gabby... we're live. (giggling): Oh, right. Hi. Tell us about the mission. -The dark planet. -(crowd gasps) It's heroic, even for me. No one has ever come back alive. (crowd gasping) Pardon me. Excuse me. Coming through. Have you had time to prepare? Uh, no, no, we haven't. Gary Supernova, my baby brother. Uh, fact check: I'm older than him. Gary works all the gizmos and bleep-bloops -here in the nerd factory. -(crowd laughing) I work in mission control. We use a trans-inducified field matrix to... And that's today's edition of "The Boring Report." Back to you, Gabby. For BNN, this is Gabby Babblebrock, reporting live from BASA headquarters. I'm going to marry that girl. And I feel sorry for her. Now, listen, we know almost nothing about the dark planet. No one does. We need to postpone the mission. I would, but I've already contacted all my sponsors. Dark Planet Cola! Destroy your taste buds! This is 800% sugar. That's what makes it good for kids. Oh. Hey. (grunts) Plus I've already taken the photos -for the new cereal box. -When? -Just now. -Scorchios? -There's a surprise in every box. -Aah! Ah, okay. -Whoa. I'm pretty good at this. -Come... come on. -I could do this all day. -(Gary groaning) -Whee! -Knock it off! We need to think this through. I have. Someone out there needs my help, and I am going to help them. Okay, but if you go now, I can't help you help them. You know, Gary, you're absolutely right. There's no sense in rushing things. Why don't you pull up the star charts in the briefing room, and we'll talk about this with the whole team? You got it, partner. That should keep him busy. Let's fire up the ship! (whirring, electricity crackling) (whirring) Computer, load all information on the dark planet. COMPUTER: All right. Just a sec. Scanning files, scanning files... Here we are. The dark planet: a remote M-class planet located 400 light-years past the Taurus molecular cloud. A strange and terrifying environment. The only known world in which evolution is taking place in reverse. It began with intelligent, attractive beings, but was soon overrun by ugly, aggressive and quite terrifying dim-witted creatures. Yuck. Gross. COMPUTER: As you can see, from gentle intelligence to savage stupidity. They have a strange custom of dividing themselves into what they call countries whose boundaries they often dispute, which causes them to go to war. The pattern seems to be that the winner of the war then goes into decline while the loser prospers. We have also deduced that the people of this planet choose leaders according to the oddity and profusion of their facial hair. They worship money, soup, marker pens, something called dental floss and this man, whose name is Cow-Ell. Oh! Terrifying. COMPUTER: He's known for his strange accent, being very, very rich, showing off, wearing glasses indoors. I like him. 106 advanced life-forms -have landed on the dark planet -What? to attempt friendly first contact. Not a single one has returned. KIP: Uncle Scorch! Hey, Kipper! You were awesome out there. Ah, thanks, pal. Does your dad know you're here? I'm supposed to be waiting in his office, but... (hushed): mission control is boring. SCORCH: I know. Isn't it? It's all... (mimics beeping buttons) (laughing) I'm more of an astronaut, like you. Take me with you this time. Wow, that sure would upset your dad, which is something I love to do. But I'll tell you what, Kipper-- if I get into trouble, you come rescue me. Yes, sir. Lieutenant Kip, junior adventurer, at your service. Junior adventurer, are you? Hmm. Well, what have we here? Blast tape! Ready for a training mission? Okay, we've crash-landed. We're surrounded by a tribe of slimy green aliens, and they are closing in on us. What do you do? You do this! Watch! -Take that! -Cool! (grunts) Time to take out the trash! Awesome! Scorch me, baby! (whoops) Oh, they got me! (groans) Kipper, it's up to you. Wicked! Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing? Astronaut training. Blast tape? Kip shouldn't be playing with it. He shouldn't even be looking at it. -(groans) -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! (grunting) Sorry, Barry. ALL: Ooh. Back to my office. See you, Uncle Scorch. Scorch. Mission control, we got a mad dad situation here. You're darn right, I'm mad. (stammers) Why is the ship on? (grunts "I don't know") GARY: Oh! (laughs) You sent me upstairs so you could rush off to the dark planet. -Yep. -(Gary groans) I thought we'd agreed to postpone the launch. COMPUTER: Launch in T minus 30 minutes. It's too risky to send Scorch out there. Please. Drop it, Gary. I'm warning you. I'm the mission controller. Does nobody here care what I think? -No. -Not really. Nope. Then why am I even here? It'll be fine, Gary. He's done this a hundred times. We've done this a hundred times. We're a team. I'm the brains, and you're the brawn-- that's what you always said. I said it to make you feel better, little brother. Scorch, stop calling me that. You've been trying to control me your whole life. Isn't that why you joined mission control? (slurping) I'm looking out for you. That's what brothers do. Oh, please. You sit around here pushing buttons while I am out there risking my neck. Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you do it without me. Any time, any place... little brother. If you insist on going through with this idiotic, macho stunt, you can count me out. Buh... wai... You're going to quit? W-Well, you can't quit. You... you're fired! You can't fire me. Because I quit! Hmph! (whirring) (barking, panting) -Hey, Mom. -Hey, space ranger. KIP: Come on, boy. Let's go play flisbee. You're home early. Scorch fired me. What?! He can't fire you. That's what I said, so I quit. So you quit after you were fired? Hey, whose side are you on? I think someone should lock the two of you in a room until you figure out how to get along. (sighs) -I hope he gets stranded. -What are you doing, Dad? Uh... oh. Nothing. Just working on the old rocket boots. (engine whirring) Cool! Can I help? Following in your dad's footsteps, eh, Kipper? Hey, that makes this an official father-son moment. What's this do? -(rapid beeping) -(Gary screams) Whoa! Look out! Aah! Ah, incoming! GARY'S WIFE: Gary! Why is there a rocket boot in our bathroom? (barking) ANNOUNCER (voice-over): This is BNN. GABBY: We are live as Scorch Supernova investigates a mysterious intergalactic cry for help. Brought to you by Dark Planet Cola. Dark Planet Cola! Scorch is stepping off the Supernova-9 now. Oh, boy, is he looking good in that suit. (sighs): Mmm. (gasps) Let's go live to the dark planet surface. This is Scorch Supernova, live from the dark planet. I'm here responding to an intergalactic SOS call and on the lookout for helpless victims. Yeah! Switching over to remote cams, Gabby. Wish me luck. GABBY: Our planet's greatest hero, risking life and limb... He's so awesome. I'm gonna be just like Uncle Scorch someday. Well, better have another kid. Gary... Just what every father wants to hear. My son wants to be like my dim-witted brother. Oh, relax, he's excited. Besides, what could Scorch possibly give your son that you can't? SCORCH (over TV): I dedicate this planet to my nephew Kip! I got my own planet?! Awesome! Okay, that's pretty hard to top. (groans) SCORCH: There appears to be a light source coming from a light of some kind. No, no, no, no. Don't do it! Do not go into the light. Going to the light. KIP: Wow! (groans) (grunts) It's so beautiful. -KIP: Oh... -(whimpers) Huh? A victim! Commencing rescue op! Greetings! We've heard your call for help and have come to save you. I am Scorch Supernova. Strange. On my planet, we shake hands. But we can do it your way. (chuckles): Oh, that's humiliating. Boy, you sure love to wave. Now I love it, too, but my arms are getting tired. (pop, air hissing) What was that?! What...? Hmm... (air hissing) No! No! Hang on! Look at me. Look at me! Don't you die on me, buddy! (blowing) No...! Moving in. -Scorch! -We got a blue one. All he wanted to do was wave! Peter, Jackson is down! Man, what is it with aliens and this desolate roadside 7-Eleven? MAN (over bullhorn): Halt! Alien! Do not use your advanced technology against us! Marty, Quentin, move it out! Scorch me, baby. Get out of there! (gasps) (grunts) (man screaming) Time to take out the trash! Who's next?! Yeah, look at him go! Not now; Scorch is in real trouble. (yells) (grunting) Aim for the spacesuity thingy! (grunts) Look out! (men screaming) Uh... uh-oh. (grunts) Time to get out of here! That's not good. Gary, we better find another way out of here! Gary? Scorch. (gasps) (grunts) (grunting woozily) Okay. (mumbling) You know something? I love you guys. (shoe creaks) Welcome to Earth. Tag him and bag him, boys. (static crackles) (clears throat) The Baabian Aeronautics and Space Administration have confirmed that all communications with Scorch Supernova have been severed. At this point, we can only assume that our planet's greatest hero is... (gasps) is dead? (sobbing): I'm sorry, I can't do this! Oh, no. You said you hoped he got stranded. You wanted this to happen! I'm sure your father didn't say that. Did you? We've got to get to the dark planet and find him! Just hang on, Kip. Come on, come on, pick up. Oh, hello, Gary. I thought you quit. This is important. Scorch has been captured. -We've got it under control. -Come on. -(grunts) -Dad! Uncle Scorch told me to come rescue him. We can be the rescue team! Kip... We're his family; we need to go save him. I'm doing everything I can. You're not doing anything! -You're talking on the phone! -(barking) Go to your room! # # Kipper? (sighs) Kipper, I know you want to rescue him, and it's very brave of you. (sighs) Even though your uncle and I fight sometimes, we're still brothers. And I will do whatever it takes to get him home, I promise you. I love you, buddy. Come on, give us a hug. (barking) Huh? Kip? Kip? -(gasps) -(barking continues) Kira! Kip's gone! Kip's gone! What?! The rescue pod. (gasps) We've got to get to BASA before he does. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? We're using the rocket boots. Are you crazy?! The gyroscope is off, the thrust mechanism is broken. They're not ready to fly! I spent 15 years as a BASA test pilot. It's not rocket science. That's exactly what it is! They're rocket boots! Gary, turn off your brain and hang on. (Gary screaming) This is staggeringly dangerous! You're not even in a rocket boot lane! Look out! -(grunting): Oh! Ah! -Sorry! (Gary screaming) This is so emasculating! Do you want to drive? No, I want to live. (both gasp) (siren wailing, Gary screaming) GARY: You're actually very good at this! Look out, look out, look out! Sorry, Barry! (yells) (grunts) We're coming, Kipper. Where is he? -(gasps) -Kip! -No, Kipper, no! -Kip, stop! (grunts) -Kip, up here! -Kipper, please! COMPUTER: Automated launch in T minus 60 seconds. Kip, up here! Gary, look out. (Kira grunts) (gasps) This is a bad idea! (grunting) Mom! Dad! Are you coming? No, honey, this isn't a game. (grunts) It's stuck! (engines revving) Gary, do something! I'll shut down the launch! COMPUTER: 12, 11... You've chosen "Terminate Launch." -To confirm, say "yes." -Yes. -You said "banana," is that correct? -No. -You replied, "no." -Gary, hurry up! -"Terminate launch" cancel? -No! -I mean, yes! -Ow! -Is that a "yes" or a "no"? -No! - Did you say "yes"? - Yes! -What, yes, you said "yes" or...? -Yes! Yes! -It's stuck! -Sorry, Gary, did you say "yes" to terminate launch? Yes! (grunts) Launch terminated. (engines shutting down) COMPUTER: That was close. KIRA: Oh, Kip, you scared me. I'm sorry. I promised Uncle Scorch I'd go save him. Don't you ever do that again. No. Kip's right. Scorch is my brother. What...? Honey? I've got to go save him. Wait, what are you doing? COMPUTER: Excellent. Launch sequence reengaged. Gary? -Dad! -I love you guys! Dad! KIRA: Gary! (screaming) (screaming) Lena, I need your help. Kira. Gary was on that pod! (gasps) Don't worry. We'll make contact as soon as he lands. No, no, no, you have to send someone after him. I don't have to do anything. You don't give the orders around here anymore. Gary will never survive out there alone. Please, bring my dad back. Don't worry, little guy, we're doing everything we can. What can I do to help? You're the one who wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. So why don't you stay at home and let me do my job. COMPUTER: Prepare for final approach, Gary. Fasten your seat belt. Huh? (grunts) (screaming) Oh! (screaming) (screaming) (eerie music playing) (lasers firing) (girl groans) I thought this movie was supposed to be in 3-D. Shh. It is in 3-D. Okay, that's better. COMPUTER: Area 48... -(Gary screaming) -Area 49... Area 50... COMPUTER: Landing gear deployed. (sighs) COMPUTER: Landing gear destroyed. (screams) (grunting) (electronic tone dings) Please exit with caution, Gary. Contents may have shifted during the flight. It's all over the place, isn't it? (grunts) (thunder rumbling in distance) (thunder cracks, Gary screams) Okay, okay, don't panic. Remember your training. The safest thing to do is wait in your pod. COMPUTER: Self-destruct sequence initiated. Wha...? Self destruct?! You're a rescue pod! Rescue pods don't self destruct! This one does, Gary. This is ridiculous! COMPUTER: 29, 28... Hey, anybody! Help! -Help! Anybody! -Is that your plan, Gary, panicking? COMPUTER: 16, 15... GARY: Come on! Tick-tock, Gary. Come on. You're running out of time. GARY: Uh, water landing... -monster attack-- Aha! -Ten, nine... Foolishly trapped inside pod. COMPUTER: ...eight, seven, six, five... time to panic... ...three, two... -(Gary shouts) -...one. COMPUTER: We're toast. (Gary screaming) (grunting) 1 (Scorch grunting weakly) Ah... the technology in this suit is incredible. Now open it. TECHNICIAN: Yes, sir. (technicians grunt) (liquid bubbling) Ugh. Blubonium. 10,000 times more powerful than atomic energy. SCORCH: Hey. How'd that get in there? Oh, you're awake. (grunts) Let me go! Let me out of here! TECHNICIAN: Shh. Go back to sleep. (electricity crackles) ANNOUNCER (over radio): You're listening to The Far-Out, Far-Right Hour on C-Dub FM. Let's go to the phones. Caller? This is Hawk calling. I work at 7-Eleven near Area 51, and after years of waiting, it finally happened! ANNOUNCER: You had a date with a girl? What?! No! A close encounter, man! We looked out the window, and this blue dude was standing right there. (chuckles): It was awesome. ANNOUNCER: Hawk, Hawk, Hawk, listen to me. If what you say is true, they're here for one reason, and one reason only... -Huh? -...abduction! Huh? (all screaming) (panting) (both scream) (screams) It's okay, bro, we're friends. What are you doing? We got to make a good impression. We need a peace offering. (chuckles): Huh? (grunts) (gasping) It's okay, little guy. (gasping) Welcome to Earth, blue buddy. In an effort to avoid enslavement, I offer you the finest chilled refreshment known to the human race-- mmm! HAMMER: He likes it! Of course he likes it. Where's your brand loyalty, man? (slurping) BOTH: No! (sighs) (ears ringing) (muffled): You're gonna regret it! Not good! (groaning) Okay, okay, okay. Calm down, blue buddy, it's okay. It's called a brain freeze. If you're gonna hang with us, you need to learn to sip. (gasps) (soldiers grunting) (shrieks) Take him away. Put me down! Little blue buddy. (grunts) (tinkling music plays) (gasps) (gasps) (gasps) GARY: Stop this. Let me out! (bright, upbeat music playing, film projector whirring) Huh? Hello, creature from another world. Welcome to Planet "Urth." You are now a guest of the U.S. government. When interacting with the inhabitants of Earth, or "hyoo-muhns," you should abide by the following basic etiquette. Handshake, good. -Death ray, bad. -(woman screams) No vaporizing. Modern Earth culture also frowns on the following: eating human flesh, probing, silver jumpsuits, abduction, Communism, nudity. If you or someone you know is responsible for building the pyramids, we'd like to know about it. If you've been to the Bermuda Triangle and brought someone home with you, please return them immediately. And finally, if you're a resident alien, please report to the immigration desk on level 316. We hope this has been an informative look at our planet, and urge you not to seek war against us. Enjoy your stay here at Area 51. (music ends) -(gasps) -Let's take a peek into that head of yours. (grunts) COMPUTER: Brain scan processing. (Gary groaning) Stupid. Simple. Dimwit. Average. (Gary screams) Smart. Genius, genius, genius... (computer rattling, crackling) TECHNICIAN: We got ourselves a real genius. Shanker's gonna want to meet you. Here's the brainiac, sir. (grunts) So, you're the genius. What are you gonna do to me? Probe me? Dissect me? Chop me up and eat me? Relax. I'm a big fan of your work. Scorch. What have you done with my brother? We'll get to him soon enough. This is your design, isn't it? How do you know that? Well, colour me impressed. And I consider myself a connoisseur when it comes to alien technology. I could use a man with your brainpower. You see, Gary, I run a work-release program. You work, then I release you. (Gary gasps as collar whines, powering up) You are going to make sure my latest project goes off without a hitch. I'm not doing anything until I see Scorch. You can whine till you're blue in the face, but I call the shots around here. -(ringtone playing) -Hmm? Everyone out, now! Double time! Wait, wait! We're not finished! Where's my brother?! (grunts) (sighs) Hello, Shanky Panky. Hello, my darling. You look ravishing. Oh, you always say that. That's because it's true. Did you get my present? Yes. I did. So, do you like it? It's... okay. Pookie, what's wrong? Nothing. It's fine. I just-- I was expecting more. Well, that was just a sample. There's more coming, I promise. I'm bringing enough so we can rule the universe together. Hurry, my love. (Gary gasping anxiously) Gentle, gentle. Just set me down nice and easy. (grunts) (groans) (grunts) Hello? Anyone? You can't do this; I know my rights! (gasps) Hey, hi there, roomie. Hey, are you finished with the toilet? Huh? (groans) I'm Thurman. Pleased to meet you. Hello. Oh, my goodness. You're all covered in slime. Ugh! You're all dried out! Not anymore. I'm from Zaddlebrok 475. Never heard of it. You've heard of Zaddlebrok 473? Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. It's two planets over. Makes sense. Anyway, you should settle in. Throw your stuff on the bottom bunk. I got to get out of here. Don't I get a phone call?! (sighs) DOC: Oh, yeah, a phone call, a big-screen TV, Egyptian cotton sheets. This is Area 51, man! Wake up! (loud groan) Keep it down! I'm trying to get some shut-eye! (chuckles): Oh, I get it. "Shut-eye." You got one eye. IO: Are you making fun of my one eye?! (roars) Easy, Io. Remember the program. Just stick to the program, stick to the program. I apologize for my outburst. My name is Io, and I'm working through some anger issues. She seems nice. -Mm-hmm. -Oh, yeah. Great gal. I'm Doc. You're a doctor? Radio talk show therapist. Same thing without all the training, credentials or qualifications. So, little boy blue, you got a name? Gary. I'm here looking for my brother. Have you seen him? What's he look like? Blue like you? Yes, exactly like me except with huge muscles and a chiselled jaw and perfect teeth. DOC: Okay. So you're the ugly brother. Well, I wouldn't put it that way. Oh, it's not a question. Look, Scorch can bust us out of here. He's got a ship; he can get us home. There's only one way out of here: invent enough cool stuff and Shanker lets you go. That's how Area 51 works. (voice-over): He lures the smartest aliens from across the universe and throws us in jail. Take Thurman; he was a professor. Those four hands invented touch-screen technology. Or Io; she used to be a librarian. She got so mad looking stuff up for people that she invented the search engine. And most importantly, me. After my radio show got famous, I invented social networking. I've got five billion pending friend requests. That's how Shanker bankrolls this place. He rips off our technology and sells it to the world. He's got deals with everybody: Apple, Facebook, them Google guys. You think humans could build this stuff? I don't think so! Who do you think invented the Internet? Cell phones? Computer animation? We did! Thank you, I love tech history; but have you seen my brother? (alarm buzzes) MAN (over P.A.): Attention aliens. Please report immediately to the cafeteria. And remember, levitating in the passageways is strictly prohibited. (deep rumbling) What the heck is that?! (Doc screams) There is only one creature in the universe that snores that loud. (snoring) Scorch! Scorch! Wake up! The space hero test today? Didn't study. (Scorch snoring) What the...? He needs a whole salad to sleep. Ow! Huh? Gary? Hey, Gary! What are you doing here? I'm here to rescue you. You're rescuing me? (laughs) I'm still dreaming. (sighs) I come 15 light years out of my comfort zone to save you, and this is the thanks I get from my own brother? Try "ex-boss." I fired you. No, I quit. And your first mission without me, you wind up in jail. And where did you end up? -Jail. -(groans) You two should make an appointment. MAN (over P.A.): Attention aliens: Lunch is now being served in the cafeteria. Please be mindful of the joes, as they are unusually sloppy. 1 The launch station computer will tell us where Daddy is. Locate Rescue Pod 13. COMPUTER: Self-destruct initiated at 2900 hours. What? Self-destruct?! Play back in-flight camera. You're a rescue pod! Rescue pods don't self destruct! This is ridiculous! Dad! Only mission control can destroy a ship. Somebody here had to give that order. -(door opens, Kira gasps) -Huh? (whispering): Quick, get down. Lena. Keep still. Okay, that's good. -Hurry up and get it loaded. -Shh. GUARD: You got it, boss. That much Blubonium could blow up the whole galaxy. Cool. No, no, no, not cool. Very, very not cool. We have to tell somebody. -LENA: Tell somebody what? -(gasps) Lena! Run! Go, Kipper! Let me go! (grunting) (grunts) - (gasps) - (laughs) Hey! I gave you a chance to go home, sweetie. You should have taken it. Little rat got away. It doesn't matter; he's just a kid. Tie her up and bring her with us. Wait, what about Gary? (laughs) LENA: Gary? That coward? He's never coming back. Thank you. Hit me with some jiggly cubes! Mmm-mmm-mmm! Hi, guys. Not sure if you guys are guys. (chuckles) Or ladies. Either way, no problem. Those are the Greys. No one knows what Shanker's got on them, but they do his bidding. So don't get on their bad side, understand? What's up, eggheads?! Give me two of everything and one more of anything. (grunting) (laughs): Hey. Some things you just can't teach. Uh, mm, what are-- w-what is all this? We have lots of alien delicacies. Blorm, Phrebbish, Zumft, diet Zumft, free-range Zumft, non-dairy gluten-free Zumft. And if you're looking for something a bit more refined, we got fresh plarbe. (British accent): Oh, hello. Hi. You know what? I'm not hungry. -(grunts) -Oh. Uh... -Aliens. -After you. Gary, (burps) I've seen a lot of jailbreak movies. All we need to break out of here is a diversion, a shovel and a blow-up dummy of ourselves. It's not that simple, Scorch. Don't be reckless. (whispers): And from now on, let's whisper our escape plan. That's your problem, Gary. Always wishy-washy. Never taking action. That's what makes me the heroic brother. You're some hero. Without me, you're nothing. Ooh, big words from a computer-loving mama's boy. No, they're regular-sized words. You're just too dumb to understand. Good thing Kip's gonna be a hero like me, not a coward like you! Ugh! You take that back! Oh, nice, Gary. Nice. Real mature. (roaring) SCORCH: Oh! Right in the kisser! Food fight! We have a food-related disturbance in the cafeteria! -(grunts) -Get him! Stop! Get back here! (gasping) Come here, you little runt! How the tables have turned! Hey! Well, that was lucky. Stop this right now, before somebody gets hurt. All right, that's it. (grunts) Bull's-eye! DOC: Oh, it's on! THURMAN: Ugh, now you've done it! Bruce, look out! Willis, run! (grunting) People, people, where are your manners? You're the one talking with your mouth full of yourself. (screaming) (lively piano music playing) Do you have to do that now? Hey, practice makes perfect. (screams) George, Lucas, let's go! -It's the fuzz! -Get 'em! Christopher, Nolan, on your feet! Hello, my dear. -Oh! -Stop right there! How dare you slap a commanding officer?! All right, Alien. Scorch, behind you! Nice! Thank you. (grunts) Guess who. (groans) Let's get out of here. Oh, yeah! (Gary and Scorch gasp) Ten-hut! I'm king of the world! You missed. Oh. I told these guys, "You better not food fight," but they did. I'm gonna sweep this up. Report to the peace shield. On the double. DOC: This is the peace shield. It's an asteroid gun. Yeah, nothing says peace like a giant gun, huh? It's overkill, if you ask me. But it's America; they supersize everything. You guys built this thing? DOC: Took us almost ten years. Now we're just waiting for one last piece: the power source. Then we can go back to our home planets. Or sun. Or sun. Seriously? You live on the sun? Yep. You can't beat the weather. Oh, oh, oh! Even though you didn't work on it, you got to sign the floor. Anything for a fan. That's a lot of names. Where are all those guys? Shanker's been building this thing for years. He probably let them go. Get your hands off me! (grunts) (giggles) You'll never get away with this! The beauty of it is, I already have. With Scorch and Gary gone, who's gonna stop me? Hi-yah! What the...? Time to take out the trash! Kipper, no! Scorch me, baby! Get him! Come back here! (grunts) (groans) Let my mom go! (laughs) "Scorch me, baby." You monster! Aw, I wish I had my camera. What a perfect family portrait. Look alive! -General's coming in hot! -Come on! Shh. Don't do anything stupid. Soldiers of Area 51, the final piece of the puzzle has arrived. (gasps) That's a Blubonium reactor. How did he get his hands on it? Somebody smuggled that thing in my suit. What's the big deal? Do you have any idea how powerful that stuff is? Prepare for test firing. You heard the man! Go! Go! Go! (grunting) My old friend, Halley's Comet. Not back for another 50 years, so who's gonna miss it? COMPUTER: Targeting Halley's Comet. Preparing condolence card for Halley's family. Target acquired. Hasta la vista, Halley. (alarm blaring as machine hums, powering up) (laughs) -Yeah, baby! It works! -(cheering) We're going home! -Yeah! -Awesome! Hot diggity! This is not good. -Oh, yeah! -Boom! (noisemaker toots) Come on, guys, lighten up. It's party time! Get down with your bad self! There's enough Blubonium in that thing to blow up a planet. Well, are we gonna sit around "Garying" this to death, or are we gonna do something about it? -Ha-ha! -Scorch! (grunting) Are you nuts?! Put that down now! MAN: Get him! You're going down. (gasps) James... Cameron, get the alien! Scorch me, baby. Brace yourselves, boys! SHANKER: Stop him! He's walking all over you! -(grunting) -Stop him! How you like me now? No! My reactor! Whoa! Get him out of here! No, stop! Gary, stay out of this! Bring the little one, too. THURMAN: You got him right where you want him, Gary! If you can't fix that reactor, nobody's going home. Ever. His quiet anger is even angrier than his loud one. You useless blue moron, do you realize what you've done? I saved millions of innocent aliens, 'cause that's what heroes do. You failed at your evil plans, 'cause that's what villains do. And this crumb got stuck on my face, 'cause that's what crumbs do. Scorch. It's okay, Gary. Do what you want with me; I'll never help you. I thought you might say that. Whoa! (grunts) Scorch! No! (grunting) (gasping) Any last words? Yes. Friends, aliens, countrymen, lend me your tentacles. Don't think of me as a hero. Think of me as a guy who acted heroically while full of heroism. Have you been practicing this? Gary, tell Gabby I love her. Tell my fans I love them. Just as a general rule, if anyone asks, tell them I love them. And, Gary, I love you, too, little brother. Good-bye, cruel galaxy! No! Huh. Eh, looks like I got time for a few more. Tell the guy that waxes my ship-- what's his name again? It doesn't matter, just tell him that I love him. And the people at Dark Planet Cola, tell them I love them. -Stop. We get it. -And, uh-- oh. No. Stop! I'm a BASA engineer; I can fix the Blubonium. Don't help him, Gary! We did the right thing! (inhales deeply) No! (grunts) (machine clanks, hums) (grunts) No! Scorch! Let him go! As soon as you fix my peace shield. Oh, and one more thing: If you tell any of the others about this, I'll freeze you all! (gasps) Get in there, alien! (chuckles) You got some nerve, walking in here after that stunt! I... (roars) Where's your brother? Shanker's got him. Why'd he let you go? Because he thinks I can fix it. Can you fix it? Of course. I'm a BASA engineer. Oh, thank goodness. But I don't think I should. Say what? (clears throat) I fix it, we all go home, right? Exactly! What's wrong with that? Shanker ends up with the most powerful weapon in the universe. So he's got a toy for shooting down asteroids. Big deal. You saw what it can do! Who knows what he'll blow up next? What if it's your planet? Don't be paranoid, Gary. It happens to smart people all the time. You start thinking too much, and it gets the best of you. (groans) You guys actually trust Shanker? We're kind of low on options here, Gary. What choice do we have? We refuse to fix it. Then what, stage a silent protest? Come on, man! Do you want us to be stuck in here forever? I don't know what to do, okay? Just let me sit down for a second and think! You mean sit around and do nothing. (sighs) Well, we're gonna try to fix it. Are you coming or not? You know what? We don't need you. Come on, Thurman. (Thurman whimpering) Cut the red wire. No, no, no! Cut the green wire. Scratch that. I'm colour-blind. Quiet. I need to concentrate. My third eye, it's messing me up. I can't do it! So that's it? Game over? Step away from the Blubonium. (laughs) My man! Thurman, you're fired. You sure you know what you're doing? I scored a 12.0 on my galactic engineering exams. Do you know what that means? You had no friends in high school? It means, in a galaxy filled with nerds, I'm their king. (clicking and whirring) (yawns) I hope this works. (all gasping) We're going home! It's time to pay my parking tickets. Uh, Gary, is that normal? Come on, Thurman. Don't be paranoid. Okay. -Oh! -Gary! (others join in chant): Gary! Gary! Speech, Gary! Pack your stuff and be ready to go. I'm going to get my brother back. This one was asking for you, sir. Leave him with me. (grunts) I'm here for my brother. Ah, Gary. Finally a team player. I did what you asked-- I fixed the reactor. And just in time. (snaps fingers) Imagine how powerful I'll be with all this Blubonium. What? How did you...? You call yourself intelligent life. (screams, groans) I could do that all day. Let us go! You got what you wanted. Why let you go now only to hunt you down later? Hunt us down? But we come in peace. Nobody comes in peace! I was six years old when they took my father from me. Think about this, champ. With that many stars out there, there just has to be intelligent life. Golly! Can I have a look, Pops? In a minute, son. What? What is that? Good gravy! It's a UFO! (laughs) Son, you wouldn't believe it! This is the moment I've been waiting for my entire life... No! Before you join your brother, there's one last thing I'd like to show you. Hey, don't ask, don't tell. Not the hair, you idiot. Lena? Oh, hello, Gary. I see you've met my fiance. -Fiance?! -We met online. Get with the times, Gary. LENA: Your whole family has been meddling in my business. Time to say good-bye, Gary. GARY (gasps): Kip! Kira! Lena, please. He's using you. He's using all of us. (screams) Okay, he's just jealous he couldn't have you. -Hmm? -Ta-ta. (Shanker shudders) How could you do this? You think I'm actually in love with an alien? When she leaves your planet with my Blubonium, I'm going to blow it up. -(gasps) -But Baab's just the beginning. I'm going to wipe out the alien infestation one planet at a time. (low grunting) If you destroy every planet with intelligent life, you'll have no stars left in the sky. My stargazing days are over. (Gary grunts) Let me out! (grunting) Hey, congratulations. You're free. Not! (both laughing) No! You can't do this! Please, let me out of here! (Gary sighs) I don't know if you can hear me, but... I'm sorry. (sighs) My plan was to get you out of here, not end up frozen beside you. (machine buzzes, valves clunk) (gasps, grunts) I failed you. I failed my family. All the planning in the world doesn't amount to anything without a hero to make it happen. I tried, brother. I'm sorry. (inhales deeply) Scorch... (grunting) (whistles) So that's Gary's wife? How'd he make that happen? I know. Isn't he all like... -(mimics beeping buttons) -(laughs) Nerd. Oh, Kip. I told you to run. You shouldn't have come back. I couldn't leave you, Mom. A junior adventurer never leaves a man behind. Kipper, this isn't a game. I know. I'm not a little kid anymore. That's why I came to rescue you. And you're very brave, but now we're both stuck in here. That's because I'm not done rescuing you. Blast tape. You let them catch you. Mom, I'm going to need you to be quiet. (grunting) Kip, be careful. -(mimics beeping buttons) -(laughing) (grunts) I can't believe we're guarding a lady and a kid. It's embarrassing. Is this day care? (laughing) Here goes nothing. (grunts) Hey! Open the door. Open the door. Hurry up! (grunts) Kip, look out. Uh-oh. (screaming) Consider yourself Scorched. (grunts) Come on. We don't have much time. (chuckling) (panting) I've got to stop that ship. You go hide in mission control and lock that door behind you. Copy that! COMPUTER: This whole villain thing, it's not you. You know, and the stress is aging you, if I might be... Shut up. Don't you have a mute button? (grunts) (grunting) -(beeping) -It's locked. (panting) (spacecraft whirring, powering up) (whooshing) (sighs) Our government thinks asteroids are Earth's biggest threat. But some of us know better. The biggest threat to Planet Earth? -(whispering): Global warming. -Mm-hmm. Aliens. Oh. (whirring) We will wipe out their planets before they come for us. Our first target? -Planet Baab. -(Doc and Thurman gasping) That's Gary's planet. COMPUTER: Targeting Planet Baab. Target acquired. (Doc clears throat) Excuse me, sir. Sorry to interrupt. Just wondering approximately what time you'll be sending us home. Is he really this stupid? (laughter) The only place you're going is the freezer. -(Doc screams) -(Io roars) -(oscillating tone) -(Io groans, whimpers) Oh! I trust there'll be no more outbursts. IO: No! (machine whirring) COMPUTER: Danger. System malfunction. (grunts) Why isn't it working? Gary?! No! It's a trap! Shut it down! Shut it down! -(both scream) -No! COMPUTER: System overload. Evacuate. Evacuate. Seriously, get out of here. Everybody, out. Scram. Got to go. Uh-oh. (gasps) -(electrical buzzing) -Ooh! (grunts) DOC: They're off! We're free! Whoo! You're all going to pay for this! Freeze the aliens! DOC: (screams) Io, get up! It's time to get mad, girl. -(grunting) -What about the program? Forget the program! -(Doc grunts) -(Io screams) (grunting) SOLDIER: Tasers at full power. (grunting) Take that. That's what you get when you mess with the Doc. -SOLIDER: Huh? -(Doc screams) Uh, guys, we might want to get out of here. Scorch! (grunting) Scorch, hey. Come on! Scorch! (grunts) Gary? (laughing) Oh, it's good to see you. Huh? Are you okay? Of course I am. Nothing can stop Scorch Supernova! Whoa! Ow! I'm having a bit of a leg situation over here. You're still thawing out. Gary, I'm too heavy. Go! Save yourself. Scorch, I couldn't. I'm not serious. Come on, put some back into it! Get me out of here! (grunting) (whooping) I'm free! -Ooh! -A Snarkbeast! Don't worry. They look mean, but they're completely harmless. (laughs) I'm free! (muffled): I'm not free! Uh... maybe I'm thinking of something else. (belches) Oh, dear. (both screaming) Oh, no. I don't think so. SNARKBEAST: Got outta that place... but I'm starving here! Aah! (grunting) SNARKBEAST: Let me go! Aah! Oy vey... Io! Oh, come on, now. You saved us. We couldn't leave you behind. Us aliens got to stick together. SCORCH: Whoa! Hello, talking rat. Why you got to disrespect me like that? Gary! I could kiss your brain. Destabilizing the Blubonium was brilliant. I taught him everything he knows. (metallic creaking) He's still frozen. Grab a leg. (grunting) I'm covered in slime. -I can't do this. -Come on! TECHNICIAN: They're heading for the elevator. -Locking it down. -Leave them. They're sitting ducks in there. Ha! Alpha Team, they're headed your way. Copy that, sir. All right, boys, set your freezers to ice cold. - Move, move, move! - (weapons cocking) So, Gary, what's the plan when we reach the top? Uh, just give me a second. Let me think. You better think fast. Here we go. -Aliens, come out to play. -(bell dings) -Hmm? -Huh? -Where'd they go? -Don't know. -I don't see them. -They're not there. They're gone. Huh? -Now! -Whoo-hoo! -Freeze 'em! -Get 'em! -Fire! -(groaning) -Oh! Oh! -There he goes! -Find him! Find him! -I'm out! I can't believe you talked me into this! - (grunts) - (screaming) -Shoot him! -Don't freeze up out there...! Hey, Gary, check it out-- the freezing wore off. Oh, come on! Huh? Whoo! Did you see that? I am the man! (blows) (muffled, grunting): My lips! Come on, come on. Let's go! (muffled): Ouch, my lips got stuck. Ha, it's a simple binary lock circuit. I'll just reconnect the main IC control switch and... Haven't I taught you anything? (yelling) -(Scorch grunts) -GARY: Got it. -Yes! -Freedom! Oh, nice work, brother. (laughing) (kissing loudly) (screaming) Scorch, where's the ship? Follow me. It's this way! SCORCH: Actually, it's this way. COMPUTER: I get it-- being the villain can be lonely-- but you're looking for love in all the wrong places. He's using you. What's wrong with Zane in Sector 113? He's a lovely chap, just... Shut up already! Get me Shanker. What do you want? I'm kind of busy right now. What's going on? What happened to your hair? Those blue idiots you sent ruined everything. N-Nothing's ruined. This is all your fault. If you screw up this delivery, we're through. No! I'll make it up to you! Please! (sobbing) Turn this ship around. (gasps) Huh? Kira? What are you doing here? Let's go home. I bet it makes you happy seeing me like this. No, of course not. How could I have been so stupid? He used me. It's never too late to do the right thing. You're just like Gary. So innocent. So naive. (gasps) Please! Lena, help me! It doesn't have to be like this. You thought you could stop me, didn't you? Little Miss Housewife saves the day. (grunting) -(grunts) -(gasps) You've betrayed your people, you've betrayed your planet, and you're not fit to wear this uniform! (grunting) -(button beeps) -(screaming) (groaning) What? You think, just 'cause a chick has kids, she can't dish it out? -Pshh. -(Lena groaning) Computer, reset course to Planet Baab. (buttons beeping) (whooshing) 1 Hurry up! The ship's down there! (panting) Whew! I got to lay off the burritos. I cloaked it as one of their spaceships. Come on! (screams) Sorry! Dude, don't you knock?! (laughs) Hammer, get out here! You're never gonna believe this! Whoa. Awesome. - (woman screams) - I'm going, I'm going! Nope. Two down, 100 to go. Scorch, which one is it? Blue buddy! What's up? My brother cloaked our ship and lost it. WOMAN: Close the door! I'm changing! Nope! No problem. False alarm? Yeah. BOTH: Tornado! -Huh? -(gasps) -Tornado! -Out of my way! -Take cover! -Oh, my God! -My cooler! -Tornado! Come on, quick! (doors slamming) Aha! There it is! -Yeah! -Wahoo! -Yes! Hi, honey, I'm home! -Sweet ride! -Whoo-hoo! -There it is! Wait! Aren't you going to abduct us? Uh, we don't really do that. They come in peace. Awesome. Whoa. Fly, blue buddy, fly! (laughs) (gasps) (laughs) We're going home! -Yes! -Yeah! Gary, I love it! Trashing bad guys, flying spaceships. We might be related after all. You know, in some strange way, I'm gonna miss this place. (gunfire, Doc screams) I hate this planet! We got company! Hang on. (others gasping) GARY (laughs): Yee-haw! Sweet flying, Gary! I didn't think you had it in you. (grunts) DOC: Nobody panic! I mean, nobody else! I'll panic for all of us! (screams) (retches) I don't fly well. When I feel queasy, I try breathing deeply through my nose. (retches) PILOT: Careful with your warning shot! Shanker wants them alive! (gasps) Incoming! Oh! We're hit! Oh... No! What's going on?! The computer's fried! Our steering's gone! DOC: Oh, no! Oh, no! I've seen this in a movie! It does not end well! Mayday! This is Supernova-9, we're going down! (over radio): Mayday! I repeat, we're going down! -We're a dead stick! -Huh? This is the Supernova-9! KIP: (gasps) What? (over radio): We are going down! -Dad? -Kipper? -Yeah, it's me, Dad. -Where's Mom? Put a grown-up on, bud; we're in trouble. I'm the only one here, Dad. Kipper, this is serious. We're going down! No, you're not. (grunts) Kip, what are you doing? Supernova-9, you are go for remote assistance. (gasps) Okay, Kip, this is just like flying your remote control ship. SCORCH: What?! This is nothing like his remote control ship! -Just a little to the left. -(grunts) (Gary screams) Too much left! Too much left! (all grunt) We got a student driver?! Every man for himself! (air hissing, Doc grunting) (screams) We're gonna hit that cliff! Pull up! Take out their engines. Let's force them to land. DOC: They're shooting! We're not gonna make it! I got this, Dad, trust me! Pull up! Pull up! Three... GARY: Pull up! -Kip! Pull up! -...two... (all screaming) ...one. (all screaming) Get out, get out! -(cheering) -Yes! -We made it! (Doc laughs) See you later, suckers! -Oh, yeah! -Yes! Whoo! Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Mission control, that's some good flying. I told you, Dad, I got this. SCORCH: Way to go, Kipper! Uncle Scorch?! Everyone is on board and accounted for. Hey, guys, say hi to my son. -Hi! -What's up, little man? -Pleased to meet you! (gasps) Dad, there's something coming up behind you! (grunts) -(alarm beeping) -What?! (singsong): Gary! I'm not finished with you! (grunts) It's Shanker! He's got my mission suit! I made some modifications. You like them? What's going on?! Why aren't you moving?! We're caught in a tractor beam! You've got to get us out of it! (grunts) It's not working! We're burning up! (all gasping) We got to knock off that tractor beam. Nice one, Gary. How do we do that? We take it out at the source. (gasps) You mean, go down there? Be logical, Gary. You're asking me to jump with no chance of survival. I'm not asking you to do anything. (screaming): Gary! (Gary screaming) -He made it! -Come on, Gary! (both grunting) Get your hands off my brother! Whoa! Scorch, what are you doing?! We're a team, brother! Don't you remember? Aah! Help! Hey, pal, we're having a moment here! Ow! Hey! (Gary screaming) SCORCH: Get your face out of my hand! Let go of my hair! Hey! SCORCH: Hurry up! SHANKER: Oh! (scream echoing) I guess this is it. We were a good team. You know, I always looked up to you. You looked up to me? I'm serious. Great wife, great kid. I always thought I could do that one day. You would have been a great dad. Hey, uh, Gary? Yeah, brother? I'm sorry for firing you. Actually, I quit. SCORCH: Huh? What the...? Gary! Wha...? (Gary gasps) You! Thank you! (British accent): Don't mention it. You can talk? Of course. (British accent): Occasionally. (British accent): From time to time. Why did you save us? I thought you worked for General Crazy. At first, we felt bad for squishing his dad. Turns out, he was a psychopathic megalomaniac bent on destroying every known form of intelligent life in the universe. Who knew? What are you gonna do with him? Can't say. It'll give you nightmares. (gasps) You're gonna pay for this. I thought I told you, we come in peace! Ouch! Oh, wow! - First punch out? - Yeah! Feels good, doesn't it? Oh yeah. Yeah. Feels great. -Whoo-hoo! -Uh-huh! That was amazing! I would have jumped, too, but it looked like you guys had everything under control. This little guy's great. -Can we keep him? -Put me down! Let's go home. -Whoo-hoo! -All right! (laughter) # We're flying through the galaxy # with supernova energy. # Under pressure together, we're so much better # so much better, you know. # Ah, it's good to be home. Mission control, bring us in. KIP (over radio): Check your six, Supernova-9. Hiya, honey! Kira? How did you...? (muffled shouting) That's my wife! Whoa, Gary! How'd you hook that up? I always thought you were a little... -(imitates tapping buttons) -(laughter) What does that mean? Everybody always says that. Beats me. (Gary imitates tapping buttons) GARY (voice-over): I've come to expect the unexpected working with Scorch, but I don't think anything could have prepared me for working with my family to save our planet. I guess life's pretty unpredictable after all. (crowd cheering) Yay, Scorch, you're the best! You're so awesome! (groans) I love you, Planet Baab! -Yes! -(cheering) Yes! (Kira sighs) No more hero stuff for a while, okay? Are you kidding? I'm never leaving the house again. KIP (laughs): Dad! Kipper! Kipper, that was amazing. We're so proud of you, bud. You were awesome out there. Just like your uncle. You are gonna be a great astronaut one day. Maybe even as good as me. Thanks, Uncle Scorch. But I'm more of a mission controller. Like my dad. Gabby Babblebrock, BNN, coming through! Oh, it's good to see you! Gabby Babblebrock, BNN. Tell us what it's like to be the greatest hero in the universe. You're gonna have to ask him yourself. Give it up for my little brother, Gary Supernova! Hey. I'm older than him. CROWD (chanting): Gary! Gary! So, Gary, we still a team? (sighs) Somebody's got to watch your back, little brother. (laughs) GARY (voice-over): That's my brother Scorch. He's in trouble... again. ...he was on the most terrifying mission of his life. (whispering): Scorch. Do you copy? Yeah, brother. I'm scared to move. Remember your training; you can do this. -I'm not gonna make it, Gary. -Don't say that. I'll be by your side every step of the way. My wingman? Your best man. (pipe organ plays wedding fanfare) And do you, Scorch Supernova, take Gabby Babblebrock to be your lawfully wedded wife, -to have and to hold... -(sobbing) Oh, Io, are you crying? I just got something in my eye. (blows nose) Let's never break up, guys. (blowing noses) And do you, Gabby Babblebrock, take Scorch Supernova to be your lawfully wedded husband? I do. And so, by the power vested in me by the Intergalactic Association of Radio Talk Show Therapists, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. (guests coo happily) (cheering) Let's party! (dance music playing) Hey, Scorch, way to go, man! Thanks for coming. Yeah. (gasps) No! You're okay! I can't believe you made it! Nice to meet you. (sighs) Here we go again. Yeah, that's it, that's it! Yeah! (cheering) Come on, Gary. Well, this is humiliating. GARY (voice-over): You know, you don't have to travel millions of light years and defeat a deadly intergalactic enemy to find out that the greatest story of all is right here on your home planet, with your brother and your own family. (Kip laughs) Love you guys! (barking) www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016