1 WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. ABLE 2014 MELANCHOLY MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUES 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (WOMEN'S VOICES OVERLAPPING) DARK PHRASES OF WOMANHOOD, OF NEVER HAVING BEEN A GIRL... HALF-NOTE, SCATTERED, WITHOUT RHYTHM. NO TUNE DISTRAUGHT. HER LAUGHTER FALLING OVER A BLACK GIRL'S SHOULDERS. (CHUCKLES) IT'S FUNNY, IT'S HYSTERICAL. THE MELODY-LESS-NESS OF HER DANCE. DON'T TELL NOBODY. DON'T TELL A SOUL. SHE'S DANCIN' ON BEER CANS AND SHINGLES. THIS MUST BE THE SPOOK HOUSE, ANOTHER SONG WITH NO SINGERS. LYRICS, NO VOICES, AND UNINTERRUPTED SOLOS, UNSEEN PERFORMANCES. ARE WE GHOULS? CHILDREN OF HORROR? THE JOKE? DON'T TELL NOBODY. DON'T TELL A SOUL. ARE WE ANIMALS? HAVE WE GONE CRAZY? I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING BUT MADDENING SCREAMS AND THE SOFT STRAINS OF DEATH. AND YOU PROMISED ME. YOU PROMISED SOMEBODY--ANYBODY-- SING A BLACK GIRL'S SONG. BRING HER OUT TO KNOW HERSELF, TO KNOW YOU. BUT SING HER RHYTHMS. CARING, STRUGGLE... HARD TIMES. SING HER SONG OF LIFE. SHE'S BEEN DEAD SO LONG. CLOSED IN SILENCE SO LONG. SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE SOUND OF HER OWN VOICE, HER INFINITE BEAUTY. SHE'S HALF-NOTES SCATTERED WITHOUT RHYTHM, NO TUNE. SING HER SIGHS. SING THE SONG OF HER POSSIBILITIES. SING A RIGHTEOUS GOSPEL. LET HER BE BORN. ALL: LET HER BE BORN AND HANDLED WARMLY. AND THIS IS FOR COLOURED GIRLS WHO CONSIDERED SUICIDE BUT MOVED TO THE ENDS OF THEIR OWN RAINBOWS. WOMAN: ...THE ENDS OF THEIR OWN RAINBOWS. (SIGHS) (CHUCKLES) MWAH. WHAT YOU GOT TO EAT? I'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO, AND I CAN'T WITH A MAN AROUND. HERE'S YOUR CLOTHES. THERE'S SOME COFFEE ON THE STOVE. THERE'S A PAPER CUP. IT'S BEEN VERY NICE, BUT I CAN'T SEE YOU AGAIN. WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? YOU GOT WHAT YOU CAME FOR, DIDN'T YOU? I COULDN'T POSSIBLY WAKE UP WITH A STRANGE MAN IN MY BED. (LAUGHS) WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME? I'M SURE YOUR WIFE IS LOOKING FOR YOU. YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE IS. (INDISTINCT MUMBLING) CRAZY ASS BITCH. WHERE MY SHOES AT? (DOOR OPENS AND SLAMS) I'M LOOKING FOR A CRYSTAL WALLACE. YES? MISS WALLACE? MY NAME IS KELLY WATKINS. I'M WITH CHILD WELFARE SERVICES. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? I NEED TO DISCUSS THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN. SAFETY OF MY CHILDREN? WHAT YOU TALKING 'BOUT? MISS WALLACE, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR, OR I'M REQUIRED BY LAW TO COME BACK HERE WITH THE POLICE. 9-12. (DOOR BUZZES) HOLD IT! GOD. THANK YOU. MISS WALLACE? NO ELEVATOR? IT'S A WALK-UP. "IT'S A WALK-UP." IS SHE KIDDING? (BANGING ON DOOR) FRANK? FRANK, OPEN THE DOOR. I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE. FRANKLIN! YOU GOT A WOMAN IN THERE? I AM TIRED OF THIS. YOU KNOW, I AM SICK OF YOUR SHIT. WITHOUT ANY ASSISTANCE OR GUIDANCE FROM YOU, I HAVE LOVED YOU ASSIDUOUSLY FOR 8 MONTHS, 2 WEEKS, AND A DAY. I BEEN STOOD UP 4 TIMES, LEFT 7 PACKAGES ON YOUR DOORSTEP, 40 POEMS, 2 PLANTS, 3 HANDMADE NOTE CARDS, AND I HAD TO LEAVE TOWN TO SEND 'EM. BUT YOU'VE BEEN NO HELP TO ME ON MY JOB. YOU CALL AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING ON WEEKDAYS, CHARMING. CHARMING (!) BUT YOU HAVE BEEN OF NO ASSISTANCE. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS HAS BEEN AN EXPERIMENT. TO SEE HOW SELFISH I COULD BE. TO SEE IF I COULD REALLY CARRY ON TO SNARE A POSSIBLE LOVER. TO SEE IF I WAS CAPABLE OF DEBASING MYSELF FOR THE LOVE OF ANOTHER. TO SEE IF I COULD STAND NOT BEING WANTED WHEN I WANT TO BE WANTED AND I CANNOT. SO, WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ASSISTANCE OR GUIDANCE FROM YOU, I AM ENDING THIS AFFAIR. THERE'S A NOTE ATTACHED TO A PLANT THAT I'VE BEEN WATERING SINCE THE DAY I MET YOU. YOU MAY WATER IT YOUR DAMN SELF. HUH! SHIT. GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING, MISS GILDA. IS SOMEBODY COMING UP? YOU KNOW SOMEBODY'S COMING UP, MISS GILDA. WHO IS IT? IS THAT BEAU WILLIE? CAN YOU GET MY MAIL WHEN YOU GO DOWNSTAIRS? YEAH, I CAN. UH, YOU GONNA CLEAN THAT UP. IT'S DUST. IT WILL BLOW AWAY. EVERYTHING DON'T BLOW LIKE YOU. GOT A LOTTA MEN COMING THROUGH YOUR HOUSE. YOU'RE JEALOUS 'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE NO MEN COMING AT ALL. WHY DON'T YOU MIND YOUR BUSINESS? YOUR OLD ASS BETTER LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU HAVE BEEN THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE SINCE THEY VOTED YOU APARTMENT MANAGER. I CAN'T STAND THAT HEFFER. JUST A TRAMP. COMING IN HERE ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT WITH THESE MEN. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, MISS GILDA. OH, OK. HI. I NEED TO START EXERCISING AGAIN. YOU JUST DID. AHEM... CAN I GET YOU SOME WATER? MM-HMM. THAT'D BE NICE. I TOLD THE DOCTOR SHE WAS OK. YEAH, I UNDERSTAND. UH, BUT, UH... ANYTIME A CHILD IS SEEN REPEATEDLY IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM, WE HAVE TO MAKE A HOME VISIT. IT'S JUST A BRUISE. WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN? (TELEVISION PLAYING) COME ON. COME ON, BABY. COME ON OUT. HI. HI. YOU MUST BE KENYA. ARE YOU KENYA? YES. AND ARE YOU KWAME THEN? I LIKE YOUR DRESS. THANK YOU. IS THAT THE CHILDREN'S FATHER? YES. HE'S SLEEPING. COME ON OVER HERE. I JUST HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR YOU. SO, I'M MISS WATKINS. DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU GOT HURT THE OTHER DAY? CAN YOU TELL ME HOW THAT HAPPENED? I JUST FELL DOWN. IT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY. WHAT? YOU WANNA... LET'S GO FIND IT. LET'S GO FIND THAT TOY, OK? COME ON, GIRL. COME ON, SWEETHEART. WHO ARE YOU? UH, MY NAME IS--IS KELLY WATKINS FROM CHILD WELFARE SERVICES. (DOOR CLOSES) CHILD WELFARE? AIN'T THIS A BITCH? I CALLED 6 MONTHS AGO TO GET MY VETERANS BENEFITS. I-I-I CAN'T GET A-A-A CASE WORKER, AND YOU... HOW THE FUCK YOU GONNA COME DOWN HERE ABOUT SOME DAMN KIDS? SIR, THE CITY IS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT-- I'VE BEEN ASKING THEM BASTARDS! I DEFENDED THIS DAMN COUNTRY SO YOU CAN HAVE THIS JOB. YOU GONNA COME HERE WITH THIS BULLSHIT? OH, PLEASE... COME IN HERE ABOUT SOME DAMN KIDS. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! (DOOR SLAMS) (WHISPERING) HEY! COME HERE. COME HERE. D.S., CAN YOU CALL ME BACK ABOUT THE WALLACE HOUSE, PLEASE? RIGHT AWAY. IT'S NOT HER THAT'S HURTING THEM KIDS. IT'S HIM. I BABYSIT 'EM. I KNOW. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING THROUGH THIS WALL. THAT'S WHY I CALLED YOU. YOU CALLED? YES. SHE CAN'T PROTECT THEM FROM HIM. EVER SINCE HE CAME BACK FROM THE WAR, HE BEEN CRAZY, AND HE DRINKS LIKE A FISH. CAME HOME CRAZY AS HELL. WENT TO VETERANS AFFAIRS TO TRY TO GO TO SCHOOL, BUT THEY KEPT RIGHT ON PUTTING HIM IN REMEDIAL CLASSES. HE COULDN'T READ WORTH A DAMN, SO BEAU ACCUSED THE TEACHERS OF TRYING TO HOLD HIM BACK. WENT AND GOT HIS SELF A GYPSY CAB TO DRIVE, BUT THE CAB KEPT BREAKING DOWN. COPS WAS ALWAYS MESSING WITH HIM. AND THEN CRYSTAL WENT AND GOT PREGNANT AGAIN. OH, HE ALMOST BEAT HER TO DEATH WHEN SHE TOLD HIM. SHE'S STILL GOT A SCAR UNDER HER RIGHT TIT WHERE HE CUT HER UP. DO HER A FAVOUR, TAKE THEM KIDS. THANK YOU, MA'AM. YES... (LABOURED BREATHING) ("BLUE SKIES" PLAYING IN BACKGROUND) WHAT? WHAT? I NEED MONEY! WHY? THINGS. I GAVE YOU MONEY ON FRIDAY. I STILL NEED SOME THINGS. FOR WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO COME UP HERE? TO HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR ANYTHING? THEN STOP DOING IT. I WOULDN'T IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO. WHAT YOU NEED MONEY FOR? GRANDDADDY PUT ME IN CHARGE OF HIS LITTLE WILL 'CAUSE HE KNEW YOU WOULD GIVE ALL OF IT TO THAT CULT. IT IS NOT A CULT. YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU SPENT ANY TIME DOWN AT THE TEMPLE OF ELNOHIM. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND? I AM NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY. YOU ARE GONNA ROT IN HELL! WHAT? SO, IF I GIVE YOU MONEY, I'M BLESSING ELNOHIM. AND IF I DON'T, I'M GOING TO BURN IN HELL. IS THAT IT? I PRAY THAT YOU SEE GOD THROUGH THE MISTS OF THE DISTANCES THAT SATAN IS.... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! GOOD-BYE, ALICE! HE HAS DECEIVED YOU. HE HAS DECEIVED YOU! LURED YOU WITH DECEPTION. REPENT! REPENT! ("BLUE SKIES" PLAYING) PRAISE ELNOHIM. PRAISE ELNOHIM. WOMAN: THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR-- HER NAME IS NYLA, AND I REALLY THINK SHE-- GOD BLESS YOU. GOD BLESS YOU. GOD BLESS YOU. THE GOLDEN KINGDOM AWAITS YOU. JUST BOUGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF HELL. FOR A DOLLAR. YEAH, I GUESS I DID. YEAH, SO GO AHEAD. YOU--YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THE GIRLS. OH, IT'S SO GREAT. YOU SHOULD MEET SOME OF THEM. THEY HAVE SO MUCH...HOPE. AND THEY'RE GETTING THAT FROM DANCE. I LOVE HOW YOUR FACE LIGHTS UP WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THEM. YEAH, I KNOW. THEY EXCITE ME. YOU KNOW, MOST OF MY GIRLS GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND GO ON TO COLLEGE. IT'S AMAZING. IT IS. WHAT? NO, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU KNOW, EVERY DAY SINCE I MET YOU 2 WEEKS AGO, WE WALK THIS ROUTE. I GO OFF TO WORK. YOU GO OFF TO YOUR DAD'S CLASS, AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION. BILL, I TOLD YOU. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COURAGE IT TOOK ME TO STEP UP TO YOU ON A CROWDED SUBWAY? COME ON NOW. I JUST GOT OUT OF A BAD RELATIONSHIP. I'M NOT TRYING TO MARRY YOU, I JUST WANNA TAKE YOU TO A NICE DINNER. I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR MY CLASS. OK, I SEE HOW IT IS. WHAT? YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ONLY GIVE. YOU NEVER LET ANYONE GIVE TO YOU. OK. DINNER. TOMORROW NIGHT. 8:00. TONIGHT. OK. I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. (GIGGLES) IT WAS GRADUATION NIGHT, AND I WAS THE ONLY VIRGIN IN THE CROWD. BOBBY MILLS, MARTIN JEROME, AND SAMMY YATES, EDDIE JONES, AND RANDI. ALL COUSINS. THEY PICKED ME UP IN A BLACK BUICK SMELLING OF ALCOHOL AND LADIES IN HEAT. WE RAMBLED FROM CAMDEN TO MOUNT HOLLY, LAUGHING AT THE AFTERNOON'S SPEECHES, OUR TASSELS DANGLING FROM THE REARVIEW MIRROR, CLIMBING DIFFERENT SORTA PROJECT STAIRS. WE WENT TO A PARTY, AND I GOT DRUNK AND COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHOSE HAND WAS ON MY THIGH. BUT IT DIDN'T MATTER, BECAUSE THESE COUSINS-- MARTIN, EDDIE, SAMMY, JEROME, AND BOBBY WAS MY SWEETHEARTS ALTERNATELY SINCE THE 7TH GRADE. SO, ME AND MY FELLAS, WE WAS DANCING. (LAUGHTER) DOIN' NASTY OLD TRICKS THAT I HAD BEEN THINKING ABOUT SINCE MAY. IT WAS GRADUATION NIGHT, SO IT HAD TO BE HOT, SO I HAD TO MAKE LIKE MY HIPS WAS GETTIN' INTO SOME BUSINESS. THAT WAY, EVERYBODY THOUGHT WHOEVER WAS GETTIN' IT WAS A OLDER MAN WHO COULDN'T RUN THE STREETS WITH NO YOUNGSTERS. THE PARTY GOT CRAZY, AND ME AND BOBBY LEFT THE PARTY BEFORE THE POLICE CAME, AND WE WERE IN THE BACKSEAT OF HIS BUICK. AND GIRL, HE STARTED LOOKING AT ME. YEAH, HE STARTED LOOKING AT ME REAL STRANGE, LIKE I WAS A WOMAN, OR SOMETHING. (CHUCKLES) AND HE STARTED TALKING REAL SOFT IN THE BACK SEAT OF THAT OLD BUICK, AND BY THE TIME THE SUN WAS COMING UP, I JUST COULDN'T STOP GRINNING. (LAUGHTER) GIRL, YOU GAVE IT UP IN THE BACK OF A BUICK? UH, YOU BETTER BE TALKING ABOUT A RIDE TO SCHOOL. WE ARE. MM-HMM. HAVE YOU DONE YOUR WARM-UPS? ALL: YES. YES. SO, IS EVERYONE READY TO BEGIN? ALL: MM-HMM. POSITIONS FROM ONE. AND 5, 6, 7, 8. NO. AND AGAIN. (SNAPPING) 5, 6, 7, 8. AND NYLA. AND SPIN. NICE. KEEP GOING, LADIES. KEEP GOING. SORRY. ARE YOU OK? YEAH, I'M--I'M JUST A LITTLE NAUSEOUS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. I THINK YOU'RE JUST NERVOUS ABOUT COLLEGE AND BEING ON YOUR OWN. I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. HEY, YOU'LL BE FINE. YOU'RE A SMART GIRL. COME ON. I'LL GET YOU A GINGER ALE. EXCUSE ME. COFFEE. THANKS. (POLICE RADIO) RADIO: UNIT CENTRED IN THE VICINITY OF 135TH STREET, BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR A SILVER BMW PARKED IN AN ALLEYWAY. POSSIBLE ILLICIT ACTIVITY. OVER. THIS IS OFFICERS WATKINS AND MORENO. WE'LL CHECK IT OUT. (INDISTINCT RADIO) RESUMING NORMAL RADIO TRAFFIC. (TIRES SCREECHING) (INDISTINCT RADIO) (SIREN) (INDISTINCT RADIO) MAN: GET OUT OF THE CAR, SIR. WOMAN: YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. SHE'S READY TO SEE ME? I'M SORRY. IT'LL BE JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES. WHERE'S CRYSTAL? SHE CALLED. SHE'S ON HER WAY. DOES IT TAKE THAT LONG TO MAKE TEA? I'VE GOT IT RIGHT HERE. I'M SORRY. SHE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. HONEY, I'M THE ONE SORRY FOR YOU. THIS IS BORING. BORING. BORING. THESE ARE ALL BORING. IT'S BORING... AH--THE DESK. THIS IS ALL BORING. (SIGHS) "ROBE ROUGE" IS A MAGAZINE. IT IS NOT A WEBSITE. WE NEED FOR THIS--LOOK AT... THIS LAYOUT--THIS LAYOUT NEEDS TO POP. IT NEEDS TO BE LUSH. WE NEED TO MAKE OUR READERS WANT TO BUY. GO BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD. GIVE ME SOMETHING WITH SOME SORT OF STYLE, BECAUSE THIS ISN'T IT. I-I DON'T LIKE THIS, NOT ONE BIT. MAN: WHAT ABOUT PUTTING RIHANNA ON THE COVER? NO, THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK. ALL RIGHT. (COUGHS) I'M SO SORRY. LOOK WHO FINALLY DECIDES TO SHOW UP AT WORK. SO, TELL ME, CRYSTAL. WHAT WAS IT THIS TIME? WHAT, YOU OVERSLEPT? THE BABYSITTER DIDN'T SHOW UP? WHAT IS IT? I'M SORRY. YOU KNOW, I HAVE MY LIMITS-- EVEN FOR VERY GOOD ASSISTANTS. YES, MA'AM. KATINA, WHERE'S MY BINDER? YES, I LEFT IT HERE ON YOUR DESK. I KNEW YOU WOULD NEED IT FOR YOUR MEETING THIS MORNING. AND MY CIRCULATION REPORTS? CIRCULATION REPORTS ARE ATTACHED. AND YOUR 9:00 IS HERE. 9:00? IT'S 10:00. YOU AGREED TO MEET WITH JUANITA SIMS. SHE RUNS A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION. SHALL I ASK HER IN? IT'S FINE. FINE. JUANITA SIMS. AHEM. HI! I'M JUANITA SIMS, AND I'M SO GLAD YOU TOOK THIS MEETING. NOW, I'LL BE QUICK BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE VERY BUSY. I READ IN YOUR MAGAZINE ABOUT YOUR UPBRINGING. I JUST KNEW THAT THIS WOULD BE A PROGRAM THAT YOU WOULD RESPOND TO. FIRST OF ALL, I'M A NURSE, AND I HAVE JUST OPENED OUR FIRST FREE HEALTH AND WELLNESS CLINIC IN A COMMUNITY CENTRE IN ONE OF THE POOREST NEIGHBOURHOODS IN THIS CITY. WHOO! FORGIVE ME, I'M JUST--I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS. AS YOU KNOW-- WHERE DO I COME IN? WELL, UM...IT'S A LITTLE NON-PROFIT, AND EVERYTHING I DO, I DO OUT OF MY OWN POCKET, AND-- LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT NOW. I GIVE TO CANCER, I GIVE TO AFRICA, I GIVE TO EDUCATION. THOSE ARE MY CHARITIES OF CHOICE. WELL, THOSE ARE ALL VERY GOOD CHARITIES, BUT THERE IS SO MUCH NEED IN OUR OWN COMMUNITY. "OUR?" WE ARE ALL AFFORDED THE SAME OPPORTUNITIES IN "OUR" COMMUNITY. WHAT THEY DO WITH THEIRS, IT IS NOT MY ISSUE. YOUR ANSWER IS NO. END OF CONVERSATION. "END OF CONVERSATION"? CRYSTAL! SHOW MISS SIMMONS OUT. IT'S SIMS. MISS JUANITA SIMS. RIGHT THIS WAY. NO. I'VE BEEN WAITING OUT THERE IN THAT DAMN LOBBY OF YOURS FOR OVER AN HOUR FOR YOU. NOW, IT'S COOL YOU DON'T WANT TO GIVE ANY MONEY. I GET THAT. BUT THIS ATTITUDE. THIS BLATANT DISRESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME AND FEELINGS. WELL, HONEY, THAT'S JUST RIDICULOUS. DOES IT TAKE ALL THIS FOR YOU TO BE THAT? THEN HONEY, IF IT DOES, THEN YOU-- YOU MAY BE PAYING JUST A LITTLE TOO MUCH. AND I CAN SEE MYSELF OUTTA THIS TACKY ASS PLACE. AIN'T GOT NO COLOUR UP IN HERE, ALL THIS WHITE. NO COLOUR UP IN THIS PLACE. INCLUDING YOU! TACKY ASS HEFFER. WAIT UNTIL I TELL EVERYBODY HOW TACKY YOU ARE. I CAN SHOW MY OWN SELF OUT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HOW DO I OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR?! THIS IS WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CONCEIVE. YOUR FALLOPIAN TUBES ARE SCARRED HERE AND HERE. WE USUALLY SEE THIS FORM FROM A PELVIS INFECTION THAT WAS ONCE UNTREATED. WHAT WAS ONCE UNTREATED? SHOULD WE TALK ALONE? NO. IT'S OK. AN UNTREATED STD CAN CAUSE THIS ISSUE. IS THERE A SURGERY OR SOMETHING THAT WE COULD-- I DON'T SEE ONE RECOMMENDED. THIS IS VERY RISKY. RIGHT. OK. EXCUSE ME. AHEM. THANK YOU, DOCTOR. BABE... BABE-- I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO GO TOT WORK. BABE, IT'S OK. IT'S--WOULD YOU... WOULD YOU TALK-- TALK TO ME? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS LOOKING AT ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT THE CHILDREN THAT THEY HAVE, AND WE... OK, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT LATER. OK? WE'LL TALK LATER. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, TOO. NOW, FIRST OFF, THESE CONDOMS ARE FREE. OK? THEY'RE FREE. NOW, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU HEARD YOUR MAN SAY, "IT DON'T FEEL THE SAME," HUH? OR--YES, YOU HEARD THAT-- OR HE MIGHT SAY, "BABY, I AIN'T GOT NOTHIN'," AND HIS ASS AIN'T EVEN BEEN TO THE DOCTOR. YOU--EXCUSE ME FOR JUST ONE MINUTE. TAKE AS MANY AS YOU THINK YOU MIGHT NEED. FRANK... HEY, BABY. FRANK, I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN 4 DAYS. BABY, YOU KNOW I DRIVE THAT TRUCK. FRANK, I KNOW YOU. I CAN SMELL HER ALL OVER YOU. YOU BEEN WITH HER. BABY, I...I BEEN EATING DOUGHNUTS, OK? HMPH... LOOK, I MISS YOU. YOU DON'T MISS ME. LOOK, I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT, FRANK. YOU DON'T WANNA BE WITH ME UNLESS YOU CAN'T BE WITH HER. BABY, I LOVE YOU. YOU DON'T LOVE ME. I DO. WELL, IF YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE? COME ON. NOW, DON'T HURT ME LIKE THAT. HURT YOU? (SIGHS) GET YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE. I GOT TO GO TALK TO MY LADIES. BABY, I JUST NEED YOUR LIPS. WILL YOU...UH... (CHUCKLES) OK, LADIES, UM... (CHUCKLES) UH, REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE USING YOUR CONDOMS, YOU NEED A WATER-BASED LUBRICANT. WHERE ARE THEY? WHERE ARE THEY? SURE, WHY NOT? EXCUSE ME. LET ME HAVE A DOUBLE VODKA, STRAIGHT. (SCOFFS) WHAT? YOU CAN TELL A LOT ABOUT A MAN BY WHAT HE DRINKS. AND WHAT DOES MY DRINK SAY ABOUT ME? THAT YOU'RE MARRIED, HERE ON BUSINESS, AND YOU WANNA GET A BUZZ ON QUICK SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME, FORGET ABOUT THE WIFE AT HOME, AND ALL OF THAT. WOW. UH-HUH. AM I RIGHT? DEAD ON. (CHUCKLES) SO, WHAT ARE MY CHANCES? FOR WHAT? HAVING A GOOD TIME IN YOUR BEAUTIFUL CITY. I TELL YOU WHAT. I'M OFF IN A COUPLE OF HOURS, I COULD SHOW YOU AROUND IF YOU'RE UP FOR IT. I'D LIKE THAT. (TOY SQUEAKS) (SQUEAK) KEPT THE DINNER WARM FOR YOU. HOW'D IT GO TODAY? WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA LOOK FOR A JOB. AIN'T NOBODY TRYING TO HIRE A VETERAN. GET ME A DRINK. (SIRENS IN BACKGROUND) YOU'RE NOT DOING WHAT I ASKED YOU TO DO. (GLASS SHATTERS) I WANT A DAMN DRINK! BEAU, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK TONIGHT. YOU SAYING I GOT A PROBLEM? I'M SAYING...YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR MEDS AND-- NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME WHAT I SHOULD DO?! I'M TELLING YOU WHAT I THINK. I'M NOT ACCUSING YOU OF ANYTHING. ARE YOU HUNGRY? WHAT? (HEAVY BREATHING) I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. I KNOW. I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING, CRYS. I KNOW THAT, TOO. I KNOW WHAT THE MILITARY DID TO YOU. I'M ON YOUR SIDE. I KNOW WHY YOU GET MAD SOMETIMES. I GET MAD. SOMETIMES, WHEN YOU DRINK... YOU GET OUTTA CONTROL. DON'T DRINK TONIGHT. OK? (SIGHS) YOU LOVE ME? MAN, I'VE LOVED YOU SINCE WE WERE 14 YEARS OLD. AIN'T NOTHIN' CHANGED WITH BEAU AND CRYS, RIGHT? (CHUCKLES) IF YOU LOVE ME, THEN--THEN--THEN WHY WON'T YOU MARRY ME? OH, BEAU... (SIGHS) WE GOT MORE THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT THAN GETTING MARRIED. (SOUL MUSIC PLAYING) LISTEN, I KNOW WE HAD A FIGHT LAST NIGHT, BUT THE SILENT TREATMENT JUST ISN'T GOOD FOR ME. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET ME FOR DINNER. CALL ME. I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU. ...AND WE WOULD'VE BEEN, EXCEPT WE WERE JUST REGULAR NEGROES, WITH HINTS OF SPANISH. (LAUGHS) SO OFF I MADE TO THIS 36-HOUR MARATHON CON SALSA CON RICARDO SUGAR RAY ON SOUTHERN BOULEVARD. IT WAS UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. STAIRS AND STAIRS AND LOTS OF HALLWAYS. (CHUCKLES) MY COLOURED NEW JERSEY SELF. DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ANYBODY WAS SAYING, 'CEPT IF DANCING WAS PROOF OF ORIGIN, I WAS JIBARITA HERSELF THAT NIGHT. I KEPT SMILING AND RIGHT ON STEPPING. IF HE COULD LEAD, I WAS READY TO DANCE. IF HE COULDN'T LEAD, I CAUGHT THIS ATTITUDE I'D SEEN ROSA DO, AND WOULD NOT BE BOTHERED. (LAUGHS) WAITER: MRS. BRADMORE, ARE YOU READY TO ORDER? NO, DANNY. I THINK I'M JUST GONNA GO HOME. CAN YOU HAVE MY DRIVER PULL AROUND AND GET MY COAT, PLEASE? YES, MA'AM. THANK YOU. RIGHT AWAY, MA'AM. (DOOR SQUEAKING) HEY, MAMA. HEY... YOU MOVED MY BOX. WHAT? I HAD A BOX THERE. WHERE'S--WHERE'S MY BOX? IT'S RIGHT THERE, MAMA. I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU MOVE MY THINGS. I... I'M SORRY. I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED, MAMA. I'M TIRED... COME ON. OHH, YOU ARE MY ANGEL. YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE YOUR SISTER. OH... IT'S ONLY $38, MOM. WELL, THAT'S ALL I MADE. I TRIED TO GET SOME MORE, BUT YOUR SISTER WOULDN'T GIVE ME ANY MONEY. WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HER IT WAS FOR ME. I DIDN'T TELL HER IT WAS FOR YOU, BUT YOU KNOW I DON'T LIE. I KNOW. SHE CAN'T STAND YOU. IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN SHE IS. IF I TOLD HER THAT I NEEDED MONEY FOR YOU TO BETTER YOURSELF, SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE IT TO ME. SHE HOLDS ONTO THAT WALLET LIKE JACOB HOLDING AN ANGEL. MAYBE I CAN SPEAK TO YOUR TEACHERS, AND I-I-I CAN PAY IT OFF OVER TIME. NO, DON'T. SHE WON'T DO THAT. MISS YASMINE SAID IF I DON'T GET THE MONEY, THEN I CAN'T GET THE APPLICATION TO APPLY. ELNOHIM WILL FIND A WAY. DON'T WORRY. (SIGHS) ALL RIGHT, SHALL I READ? OK. DANCE WAS MY THANK YOU FOR MUSIC. AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN DANCE, MORE THAN...AURELIANO BUENDIA LOVED MACONDO, MORE THAN HECTOR LAVOE LOVED HIMSELF. MORE THAN THE LADY LOVED GARDENIAS OR GRACIELA LOVED EL SON, MORE THAN THE FLAMINGOES LOVE BEING PRETTY. (CHUCKLES) TE AMO MAS QUE. TE AMO MAS QUE. (GIGGLES) WE'RE HERE. I HAD THE BEST TIME. I TOLD YOU. THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME. SO, CAN I COME UP? IT'S GETTING LATE. OK. WELL, GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. (CHUCKLES) HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WAS THINKING... MAYBE ON OUR NEXT DATE YOU COULD COOK. YOU KNOW, HELP A BROTHER SAVE SOME MONEY. (LAUGHS) I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME, I WILL DO THAT. NICE. OK. (GIGGLES) NO, GO ON IN. I WANNA MAKE SURE YOU'RE SAFE. BYE. (BEEPING) (DOOR BUZZES) (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LOOK, I-I-I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. (CHUCKLES) I ONLY HAVE ABOUT $80 ON ME. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THAT'S ALL I HAVE. IF--IF--IF YOU WANNA GO TO THE ATM, WE CAN, UH... WE CAN DO THAT. YOU THINK I'M A HOOKER? (CHUCKLES) A-AREN'T YOU? NO! (CHUCKLING) I'M SORRY. I'M S-- WHAT IS SO FUNNY? I GUESS I'M JUST OLD-FASHIONED. WHAT KIND OF WOMAN PICKS A MAN UP AT A BAR, AND BRINGS HIM BACK TO HER PLACE, IF SHE'S NOT A HOOKER? ONE THAT LIKES TO FUCK. (LAUGHING) DON'T LAUGH AT ME. I'M SORRY. DON'T LAUGH AT ME. THIS IS SOME SICK SHIT! YOU MEN WITH YOUR DOUBLE STANDARDS. YOU CAN DO IT, BUT A WOMAN CAN'T? GET OUT. GET OUT! THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. IT SEEMS YOU DO THIS TOO OFTEN TO BE HEALTHY. ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE SOME KIND OF DISEASE? IF IT AIN'T IN YOUR BODY, IT IS DEFINITELY IN YOUR HEAD. (LAUGHING) YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO JUDGE ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH! NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY WON'T YOU GIVE MOM SOME MONEY? DON'T SAY A WORD. A WORD... BITCH! I MAKE SURE THAT HER RENT IS PAID AND THAT SHE HAS GROCERIES. WHAT MORE DOES SHE WANT? SHE NEEDS SOME MONEY. FOR WHAT? LOOK...I HAVE TO PAY MY COLLEGE APPLICATION FEES. WHAT? I GOT A SCHOLARSHIP TO COLLEGE, BUT I HAVE TO PAY MY APPLICATION FEES, AND SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU THAT BECAUSE SHE KNEW YOU WOULDN'T DO IT IF YOU KNEW IT WAS FOR ME. HOW MUCH? $300. GIRL, YOU THINK I'M BOOB WITH A FOOL? THAT DON'T SOUND RIGHT. IT'S TRUE. YOU BEEN FUCKING. WHAT? NO, I HAVEN'T. I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR FACE. ARE YOU PREGNANT? (SCOFFS) NOT EVERYBODY IS LIKE YOU, TANGIE. YEAH, BUT YOU ARE, LITTLE SISTER. AND MAMA IS SO PROUD OF YOU. WAIT TILL SHE FINDS OUT YOU'RE PREGNANT. I'M NOT PREGNANT. YOU GONNA GO TO COLLEGE LIKE THAT? (LAUGHS) MAMA'S GONNA DIE. YOU KNOW IT. HA! I CAN'T WAIT. (LAUGHING) YOU DIDN'T USE A CONDOM? BABY, YOU'VE GOT TO USE A CONDOM. I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I GOT PREGNANT. I WAS SO SCARED. I WENT TO THIS APARTMENT ON 138TH... OLD RED BUILDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOCK, DOWN A BACK ALLEY, APARTMENT 331. I DIDN'T HAVE MONEY FOR NO COLLEGE APPLICATION, BUT I WASN'T PREGNANT ANYMORE. I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY. I'M NOT PREGNANT. (DOOR OPENING) (DOOR OPENING) I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ALL NIGHT. YEAH, MY BATTERY DIED. YOUR BATTERY DIED--AND YOU COULDN'T CALL ME FROM ANOTHER PHONE AND TELL ME THAT? YOU KNOW, CARL, I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU THAT I EVEN CALLED THE POLICE. YOU CALLED THE POLICE? WHAT'D THEY SAY? THEY TOLD ME TO CALL BACK IN 24 HOURS, BUT YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST CALLED ME. FINE, JO. THIS IS ABOUT THE FIGHT THE OTHER NIGHT, ISN'T IT? NO, I SAID MY BATTERY DIED. YEAH, YOU'RE STILL ANGRY. I CAN HEAR IT ALL IN YOUR VOICE. YOU'RE STILL MAD. JO, I'M NOT MAD. I'M NOT ANGRY. OK, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TO BE. WELL, YOU COULDA TOLD ME, YA KNOW? I COULDA TOLD YOU? I COULDA TOLD YOU? YEAH, YOU COULDA TOLD ME. I COULDA TOLD YOU, JUST THE SAME WAY YOU COULDA TOLD ME? THAT YOU WERE GONNA TAKE $200,000 OF MY MONEY, PUT IT IN SOME STOCK, AND YOU DIDN'T CHECK WITH ME, NOT ONE TIME, CARL. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR DAMN MONEY, ISN'T IT, JO? YES, IT IS. IT IS. I EARNED IT. JO, I'M A BROKER. EVERYBODY DOWN AT THE FIRM KNOWS WHO YOU ARE. IT'S EMBARRASSING TO ME THAT I CAN'T COME HOME AND MAKE A DECISION AS A MAN IN THIS HOUSE, SO I TOOK IT, OK? I TOOK IT. NOW, I SAID I WAS SORRY. I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS SHIT ANYMORE. IT'S FINE. DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN. YEAH, YOU GONNA LISTEN, CARL. I KNOW I HAVE ISSUES WITH TRUST, BUT WHEN YOU MAKE CHOICES LIKE THIS, IT DOESN'T HELP ME, NOT ONE BIT. YOU DON'T JUST HAVE TRUST ISSUES, YOU GOT ISSUES. I'M GONNA TAKE A SHOWER. CAN I TAKE A SHOWER? DO I HAVE PERMISSION TO TAKE A SHOWER? THANK YOU. (SOUL MUSIC PLAYING) HEY. HEY. YOU'RE UP LATE. I CAN'T SLEEP. HOW WAS THE REST OF YOUR DAY? IT'S WHERE I LEFT IT. I UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU HUNGRY? NO, BABE. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? YOU WANNA TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED? DO REMEMBER MY FRIENDS FROM COLLEGE-- KIANNA AND NICOLE? YEAH. THE 3 OF US WERE LIKE A PYRAMID. 3 FRIENDS--ONE LAUGH, ONE MUSIC, ONE FLOWERED SHAWL KNOTTED ON EACH NECK. WE ALL SAW HIM AT THE SAME TIME, AND HE SAW US. I FELT A THUMP, AND EACH ONE OF US DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. WE ALL WANTED WHAT WAS COMING OUR WAY, SO WE SPLIT. BUT HE FOUND ONE... AND I LOVED HIM. OK. THE OTHER 2 WERE TICKLED AND SPURNED HIS ADVANCES WHEN THE ONE WHO LOVED HIM WASN'T THERE. I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT... WHAT WAS HAPPENING. AND THEN, THE ROSE... I LEFT BY HIS PILLOW... I FOUND ON MY FRIEND'S DESK. THERE WAS NOTHING TO SAY. 8 MONTHS LATER, I WOKE UP WITH THE WORST CRAMPS OF MY LIFE. AND NOW I CAN'T GIVE YOU A BABY. BABY, YOU GIVE ME SO MUCH MORE THAN I EVER NEED. I LOVE YOU. IT DOESN'T MATTER. WE'LL GET THROUGH IT. BELIEVE ME. (SOBBING) (SIRENS IN BACKGROUND) LET ME LOCK UP SO THEY DON'T STEAL THIS THING. (SIGHS) JEEZ... HEY, BABY. LEAVE ME ALONE, FRANK. CAN'T WE AT LEAST TALK ABOUT IT? HUH? GO HOME. OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU AIN'T GOT NO HOME TO GO TO. WHAT? SOMEBODY TOLD ME YOU MOVED OUTTA YOUR APARTMENT. WHAT'D YOU DO? MOVE BACK IN WITH HER? HELL, NO. I'M SICK OF YOUR LIES AND SHIT. OH, BABY...BABY, I'M SORRY. I'M S--I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP GOING THERE, I MEAN-- NO, LISTEN. FRANK... THIS TIME IT WAS DIFFERENT, BABY. MM-HMM. THE WHOLE TIME I WAS THERE, I JUST-- THE WHOLE TIME, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU. I MEAN, LISTEN, IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, BABY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO. WHAT WOULD I LOOK LIKE LETTING YOU BACK IN MY LIFE AFTER ALL THE ADVICE I GIVE TO THE WOMEN AT MY CLINIC? BABE, LISTEN TO ME-- FRANK, YOU LISTEN. EVERY TIME I LET YOU MOVE BACK IN, YOU DO THE SAME THING. AND EVERY TIME, I COME HOME, AND YOU'RE NOT HERE, I DO THE SAME THING. I GO THROUGH THAT CLOSET, I GO THROUGH THE DRAWERS TO SEE IF YOUR THINGS ARE GONE. I HAVE TO SET AN EXAMPLE FOR MY WOMEN. YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST, NOW I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. BABY, PLEASE-- OH, I'M NOT LISTENING TO THIS SHIT NO MORE! IF YOU MEANT THAT, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T SAY IT IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE? BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW. OK? I DIDN'T KNOW HOW. KISS ME, SWEETIE. FRANK, JUST LEAVE, OK? FRANK-- JUST KISS ME. NO. LOVE ME. GO! LOVE ME. YOU LOVE ME. FRANK. LOVE ME, BABY. FRANK. LOVE ME, SWEETHEART. OH, MY GOD. I LOVE THE WAY YOU SMELL. FRANK, FRANK. I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH, BABY. NO. FRANK. LET ME STAY. (HEAVY BREATHING) PLEASE LET ME STAY. FRANK? (MOANING) YOU GOT ANY CONDOMS? I CALLED DR. BELKIN. HE CAN SEE YOU THIS AFTERNOON. OK. THESE ARE FROM YOUR HUSBAND. HE'S ON LINE 3. (BEEP) WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE. LOOK, BABE. I JUST CALLED TO TELL YOU HOW SORRY I WAS FOR THE WAY I'VE BEEN ACTING THE LAST FEW DAYS. YOU'RE SO RIGHT. I SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN THE MONEY OUT OF YOUR ACCOUNT. I GUESS I JUST THOUGHT, UM... WELL, I THOUGHT I WAS HELPING YOU, OR US, I SHOULD SAY. AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD GAIN INTEREST, AND I THOUGHT IT'D MAKE YOU REALLY PROUD OF ME. BUT, OBVIOUSLY, I WAS WRONG. SO, UM, I'M JUST GONNA SAY I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR TAKING MY NAME OFF THE ACCOUNT. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, BABY. UM...I'M REALLY SORRY. THANK YOU. I GOT YOU TICKETS TO THE OPERA TONIGHT. WELL, YOU REALLY MUST BE SORRY IF YOU'RE-- IF YOU'RE GONNA SIT THROUGH THAT AGAIN. WHAT DID YOU CALL IT LAST TIME? WATER TORTURE? (LAUGHS) YEAH, "WATER TORTURE." WATER TORTURE. BUT NOT WITH YOU, BABE. ANYTHING FOR YOU. SEE YOU TONIGHT. BYE. BYE. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, TOO. BYE. (BEEP) HMM. (DOOR OPENS) YOU YASMINE? YEAH. IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY? NO. IT'S JUST--JUST A GUY I WENT TO DINNER WITH. HE'S NICE. GENTLEMAN. HE WANTS TO FUCK YOU. CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING? (CHUCKLES) YEAH, I'M, UM... HERE TO PAY FOR THE COLLEGE APPLICATION... I DON'T--I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. SORRY. I'M, UH, TANGIE, NYLA'S SISTER, AND SHE SAID THAT SHE HAD $300 TO PAY FOR A COLLEGE APPLICATION...SOMETHING. NO, THIS-- EVERYTHING HERE IS FREE. WHAT? EVERYTHING HERE IS FREE. NYLA'S ONE OF MY BEST STUDENTS, AND I'M SURE SHE WON'T HAVE TROUBLE GETTING IN ANYWHERE-- THAT LITTLE SLUT! BITCH! IS SHE YOUR FAVOURITE? MOTHER FUCKING ME AROUND! (CHILDREN YELLING IN BACKGROUND) (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) PUT YOUR MONEY DOWN. COME ON. (INDISTINCT) (DOG BARKING IN BACKGROUND) (MAN COUGHING) LET ME PUT 2 DOWN. (CHATTER AND DOG BARKING) (MUTTERING) (INDISTINCT YELLING) (BARKING) (INDISTINCT) YOU LOOKING FOR ME? THIRD FLOOR. (DOG BARKING) (BACKGROUND CHATTER) I'M NYLA. YOU DON'T HAVE NO NAME, GIRL. COME ON, SIT DOWN NOW ON THE TABLE. RIGHT HERE. COME ON. YOU GOT MY MONEY? YOU TAKE YOUR BOTTOMS OFF AND YOUR SHOES... COME ON, GIRL. COME ON, SIT DOWN. COME ON. I'VE DONE THIS A MILLION TIMES, GIRL. RELAX. YOUNG GIRLS GO OUT IN THE WORLD, AND THEY GOT TO COME SEE ME. THAT WORLD IS SOMETHING. I USED TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD. BUT THEN I MOVED TO HARLEM, AND MY UNIVERSE IS NOW 6 BLOCKS. A TUNNEL WITH A TRAIN I CAN RIDE ANYWHERE, REMAINING A STRANGER. I COULD STAY ALONE... (GLASS CLINKS, LIQUID POURS) MOVING IN THE WORLD THEN. BUT I MOVED TO HARLEM. COME IN AROUND DUSK, STAY CLOSE TO THE CURB. AROUND MIDNIGHT, PRAYING WON'T NO YOUNG MAN THINK I'M PRETTY. THEN THE DARK MORNING... WOULDN'T BE GOOD, NOT GOOD AT ALL. TO MEET A TALL, SHORT, BLACK BROWN MAN... FULL OF HIS POWER, IN THE DARK, IN MY UNIVERSE OF 6 BLOCKS. STRAIGHT UP, BRICK WALLS AND... WOMEN HANGING OUT OF WINDOWS LIKE OLD SILK STOCKING, AND CATS CRYING AND CHILDREN GIGGLING AND A TAVERN. RED CURTAINS AND BAD SMELLS AND KISSING LADIES SMILING, AND DIRT SIDEWALKS AND SPITTING AND MEN CURSING, "COME HERE, BITCH. CAN'T YOU SEE THIS $5.00?" I USED TO BE IN THE WORLD, LIKE REALLY BE IN THE WORLD--FREE AND SWEET TALKING. YOU KNOW, "GOOD MORNING" AND "THANK YOU" AND "NICE DAY." AND NOT NOW. I CAN'T BE NICE NO MORE. I CAN'T BE NICE TO NOBODY. NICE IS A RIP-OFF. BUT I WAS IN THE WORLD. A WOMAN IN THE WORLD. I HAD A RIGHT TO THE WORLD. THEN I MOVED TO HARLEM FOR 6 BLOCKS OF CRUELTY PILED UP ON ITSELF, A TUNNEL CLOSING. OPEN YOUR LEGS, GIRL. COME ON. (BRAKES SCREECHING) (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) (KNOCK ON DOOR) HEY. HEY. (LAUGHS) COME ON IN. WOW. NICE PLACE. AW, THANKS. WHAT SMELLS SO GOOD? MMM...ME. (LAUGHS) YEAH, OK. OK. (WITH SPANISH ACCENT) I AM COOKING A CUBAN FEAST FOR YOU, MY FRIEND. OOH, WE MIGHT HAVE TO JUST GO ON AND SKIP DINNER, AND GO RIGHT TO THE DESSERT. CAN BROTHER GET A HUG? MMM. YOU SMELL GOOD, TOO. THANK YOU. LET ME CHECK ON THE BREAD. YOU WANT SOME WINE? I'LL HAVE SOME IF YOU HAVE SOME. IS RED FINE? YEAH, IT'S FINE. I HAD A REALLY NICE TIME THE OTHER NIGHT. (GIGGLES) ME, TOO. I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN A REALLY LONG TIME. LOOK AT YOU. YOU DONE CHOPPED EVERYTHING UP ALL NICE. YOU CAN REALLY COOK. A GIRL HAS TO EAT, RIGHT? GUESS SO. HERE'S TO GOOD TIMES. MMM. YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. IT IS. BILL, COME ON. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING DINNER. YOU KNOW WHAT WAS REALLY NICE ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT? WHAT'S THAT? I DON'T KNOW. IT JUST SEEMED-- IT WASN'T LIKE-- SOMETIMES A DATE CAN BE SUCH A FAKE THING, PEOPLE PUT ON THIS PERSONALITY, AND IT WAS SO EASY TO BE--BILL. (CHUCKLES) WHAT? TO BE THERE WITH YOU. YEAH, IT WAS NICE. YOU KNOW THOSE TIMES-- (GASPS) PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON. WHY? COME ON. WE'RE BOTH ADULTS, AND I KNOW WHY YOU ASKED ME TO COME OVER HERE TONIGHT. N-NO, YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG. OH, NO. I AIN'T GOT NOTHING WRONG. UH! STOP IT! (MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGING IN ITALIAN) (OPERA CONTINUING) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) WHERE ARE YOU GOING FOR LUNCH TODAY? OH, I'M NOT SURE. I WAS THINKING MAYBE THAI. (COUGHS) TEA? WHERE'S THE LIST OF ADVERTISERS? PAGE 7 OF THE REPORT. DO YOU SEE IT ON PAGE 7, CRYSTAL? (SIGHS) I TOOK IT HOME TO MAKE SURE IT WAS RIGHT. I MUST'VE LEFT IT THERE. I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING IN 45 MINUTES. WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE I DO? I'LL GET ON THE TRAIN RIGHT NOW, AND GO HOME AND GET IT. NO. IT'S GONNA MAKE ME LATE. (SIGHS) COME ON. I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOU HOME. PURSE. HURRY UP, KATINA. (LAUGHTER) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) YOU'RE NOT COMING UP, ARE YOU? NO. I HATE COMING TO NEIGHBOURHOODS LIKE THIS. ARE THE DOORS LOCKED? YES, MA'AM. (TV PLAYING IN BACKGROUND) HI. I SAW YOU PULL UP IN THAT CAR. IT'S MY BOSS. I THOUGHT YOUR BOSS WAS A WOMAN. SHE IS. (HEAVY BREATHING) THEN WHO'S THE DUDE... IN THE FRONT SEAT? HUH? YOU THINK I'M CRAZY, DON'T YOU? HUH? YOU THINK I'M CRAZY? WHERE'S YOUR MEDICATION? UHH! (HITTING AND SCREAMING IN BACKGROUND) IS THAT MY MAMA? (HITTING AND SCREAMING THROUGHOUT) DID I EVER TELL YOU HOW I MET MY HUSBAND? HIS NAME WAS TOUSSAINT. I WAS 8 YEARS OLD. THE LIBRARY WAS RIGHT DOWN FROM THE TROLLEY TRACKS, RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE LAUNDRY MAT, THROUGH THE BIG SHINING DOORS AND BIG PILLARS THAT OLD ST. LOUIS WAS FAMOUS FOR. I FOUND TOUSSAINT. I KNEW I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO, BUT I RAN INTO THE ADULT READING ROOM AND CAME ACROSS TOUSSAINT, MY FIRST BLACK MAN. (DOOR SQUEAKING) (CHILDREN LAUGHING) GIRL: ONE. (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 4! YOU GONNA BE A WHORE ALL YOUR LIFE? THE WILLIE BROWN YOU WENT TO KISS, I SEE YOU WENT TO THE FOOL. COME ON. COME ON WITH MAMA. SIT BY MAMA. RIGHT HERE. COME ON, BABY. I JUST WANNA HOLD 'EM. DON'T WANNA CAUSE YOU ANY TROUBLE. I JUST WANNA MARRY YOU AND GIVE YOU THINGS. COME HERE, KENYA. I WANNA GO TO DADDY. DADDY, BE NICE TO MOMMY 'CAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE NICE, AND MOMMY LOVES YOU. HMM...MOMMY'S SICK, BABY. YOU SEE, CRYSTAL. I CAN BE A GOOD FATHER. NOW, LEMME SEE MY SON. COME HERE, KWAME. YOU'RE STILL FINE. STRONG. DIDN'T YOU GET RIGHT BACK UP? THAT TIME WE HAD THAT LITTLE FIGHT, YOU WENT RIGHT BACK TO WORK. YOU GOTTA GET HELP, BEAU. YOU GONNA MARRY ME? DAMN IT, BEAU. NO. I'M NOT GONNA MARRY YOU. MY BABIES CAN'T KEEP SEEING THEIR MAMA LIKE THIS. Y-Y-Y-YOUR KIDS? SO--SO, WHAT YOU TRYING TO SAY? THAT--THAT THEY AIN'T MINE? (SIGHS) OH, YOU'RE JUST A DAMN WHORE. IS THAT YOUR MAN... DOWN THERE IN THAT CAR? ARE THESE HIS KIDS? GIMME MY KIDS! (SCREAMING) BEAU! GET OFF! WHERE THE HELL IS SHE? GET OFF! (CHILDREN SCREAMING) WILLIE? (ALL SCREAMING) OHH. BEAU WILLIE! GIMME MY BABIES! GET OFF! HOW YOU GONNA DO THIS TO ME?! (SCREAMING IN BACKGROUND) HELP HER. HELP HER! HELP! HELP HER! HELP HER! HELP! (SCREAMING IN BACKGROUND) (SCREAMING) HERE THEY COME! HELP HER. HELP HER! HELP HER! HELP HER! HELP HER! HELP HER! HELP HER! (TIRES SCREECH) HELP HER! HELP HER! HELP HER! HELP HER, SOMEBODY! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! (SCREAMING) MOMMY! OH, MY GOD. YOU MARRY ME, BITCH! BEAU! ANSWER! AAH! AH! NO, PLEASE, DON'T DO IT. PLEASE. (ALL SCREAMING) MAN: WHERE? MY APARTMENT. IN YOUR APARTMENT? A FRIEND. VERY DIFFICULT TO PRESS CHARGES. HE'S NOT A FRIEND. YOU'LL HEAR THINGS... LIKE... "SHE KNEW. SHE MUST'VE WANTED IT." "A MISUNDERSTANDING." "THESE...THESE THINGS HAPPEN." "SHE INVITED HIM IN. WHAT DID SHE EXPECT WAS GONNA HAPPEN?" MA'AM, ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T SUGGEST... NO. I HAVE TO ASK. HAD YOU BEEN DRINKING? ONE SIP OF WINE. I DON'T DRINK. A RAPIST DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A STRANGER TO BE LEGITIMATE-- SOMEONE YOU NEVER SAW. BUT IF YOU'VE BEEN IN PUBLIC WITH HIM... DANCED ONE DANCE. KISSED HIM GOOD-BYE. LIGHTLY... WITH CLOSED MOUTH... PRESSING CHARGES WILL BE AS HARD AS... TRYING TO KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED WHILE 5 FOOLS TRY TO RUN A TRAIN ON YOU. THESE MEN... "FRIENDS" OF OURS... WHO SMILE NICE AND STAY EMPLOYED AND TAKE US OUT TO DINNER. LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND YOU, AND WE ARE LEFT WITH THE SCARS... BEING BETRAYED BY MEN WHO KNOW US... AND EXPECT, LIKE THE STRANGER WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS COMING, THAT WE WILL SUBMIT. "WE MUST'VE KNOWN." WOMEN RELINQUISH ALL PERSONAL RIGHTS IN THE PRESENCE OF A MAN WHO COULD APPARENTLY BE CONSIDERED A RAPIST, ESPECIALLY IF HE HAS BEEN CONSIDERED A FRIEND... AND IS NO LESS WORTHY...OF BEING... BEAT WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE. BEING... PUBLICLY RIDICULED. HAVING 2 FISTS SHOVED UP HIS ASS-- THAN THE STRANGER WE ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE... WHO NEVER SHOWED UP. 'CAUSE IT TURNS OUT THE NATURE OF RAPE HAS CHANGED. WE CAN NOW MEET THEM... IN CIRCLES WE FREQUENT FOR COMPANIONSHIP. S-S-S-SEE THEM... AT THE COFFEE HOUSE WITH SOMEONE ELSE WE KNOW. WE CAN EVEN...HAVE THEM OVER FOR DINNER... AND GET RAPED IN OUR OWN HOUSES... BY INVITATION. THEY HAVE CHANGED. OK. I'LL PICK THE BASTARD UP. I'M LOOKING FOR MY DAUGHTER. WHAT'S HER NAME? NYLA ANDREWS. SHE'S WITH A SOCIAL WORKER. POLICE FOUND HER PASSED OUT IN THE STREET. IN HERE. MAMA, PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME. ROCK OF AGES... LET ME HIDE MYSELF IN THEE FROM THIS SIN. I'M SORRY, MAMA. CAN YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING AT ALL? SPEAK, CHILD. ALL I REMEMBER... (SIGHS) IS... TOOLS... TABLES... WHITEWASH WINDOWS... GRIME FROM AGE, WIPED OVER ONCE. EYES, CRAWLING UP ON ME. EYES, ROLLING IN MY THIGHS. METAL HORSES, GNAWING... MY...WOMB...DEAD. GET OFFA ME ALL OF THIS BLOOD, BONES. SHATTERED LIKE SOFT ICE CREAM CONES. I COULDN'T HAVE HER LOOKING AT ME PREGNANT. I COULDN'T HAVE MY... FRIENDS SEE THIS DYING, DANGLING BETWEEN MY LEGS. SO, I DIDN'T SAY A THING. NOT A SIGH OR A FAST SCREAM TO GET THOSE EYES OFFA ME. GET THOSE STEEL RODS OUTTA ME. THIS HURTS. THIS HURTS ME. AND NOBODY CAME. SOMEBODY KNEW. ONCE... I WAS...PREGNANT... AND SHAMED... OF MYSELF. WOMAN: OH, NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! WHAT'S GOING ON? OH, NO! NO, NO, NO! CRAZY-ASS MAN DROPPED THE CHILDREN OFF THE 5TH STORY WINDOW. (SOBBING) WHY'D HE DO THAT? MAN: I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE, BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK EACH OF YOU A FEW QUESTIONS. (SOBBING) DID EACH OF YOU WITNESS WHAT HAPPENED? YES, WE DID. HOW DO YOU ALL KNOW EACH OTHER? WELL, I DON'T KNOW... UH, UH... I'M THE MANAGER OF THE APARTMENTS. I LIVE NEXT DOOR TO HER. OK. SHE'S MY ASSISTANT. OK. TUNNEL. EXCUSE ME. WHAT? WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO?! MAMA! YOU SENT HER THERE! YOU SENT HER THERE! YOU ARE THE DARKNESS. WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU ALL RIGHT, BABY? GET OUT. GET... OUT. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HER? DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER?! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT BEFORE I KILL YOU! GET OUT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? LETTING ALL THESE MEN CRAWL ALL UP INSIDE YOU LIKE THAT. HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD INSIDE ME? SHE COULD'VE KILLED HER. SHE COULD'VE KILLED ME. I WAS WITH YOU! YOU THINK THAT MADE IT OK?! YES! I DIDN'T WANNA BE THERE! I WAS WITH YOU! I DIDN'T WANNA BE THERE! I WAS WATCHING HER! YOU WEREN'T BY YOURSELF! I DIDN'T WANNA BE-- YOU MADE ME GO! (SOBBING) SHE'S AN ALCOHOLIC-- ALCOHOLIC DEMON. SHE COULDA KILLED HER. (BREATHING HEAVILY) YOU SENT HER THERE ALONE. (BREATHING HEAVILY) OHH. OHH. (BREATHING HEAVILY) THE PAIR OF YOU COULD NOT... HAVE COME FROM ME. HE ONLY LEFT YOU THAT MONEY... SO YOU COULD CONTROL ME... LIKE HE DID. HE USED TO PUT HIS HANDS UP MY DRESS... TOLD ME I WAS THE ONLY ONE HE NEEDED. HE TOLD ME I WAS UGLY. AND WHEN I WAS 15... HE GAVE ME TO A WHITE MAN. SAID HE WANTED BEAUTIFUL GRAND GIRLS. NO. NOT LIKE ME. HE SAID, "DON'T SLEEP WITH THE DARKNESS." AND THEN YOU CAME. WHY DON'T YOU STOP LYING? HE TOUCHED YOU. SHUT UP! HE TOUCHED YOU, TOO. (CRIES) I CAN TELL. I CAN SMELL IT ON YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I DO. I KNOW YOU. YOU USED TO WEAR THESE ORANGE BUTTERFLIES... I AM A DELIBERATE COKE-HEAD, WHO COULD NEVER DO WITHOUT. AQUA SEQUINS, ENSCONCED BETWEEN THEM... WHAT I WANT, AND I WANT IT TO BE UNFORGETTABLE... I WANT IT TO BE A MEMORY. A WOUND TO EVERY MAN ARROGANT ENOUGH TO WANT ME. I AM THE WRATH... OF WOMEN IN WINDOWS. FIGURIN' SHADES, OLD LACE CURTAINS... YOU GLITTERED IN HERE. SEEMED TO BE LOOKING FOR A RIDE WHEN YOU WASN'T... I GLITTERED. HONESTLY DELIGHTED. I AM DESIRED... AND YOU LET YOUR THIGH SLIP FROM UNDER YOUR SKIRT CROSSIN' THE STREET... TO EXPERIENCE MY BODY... YOU SLOWLY... IN SPIRIT, TEARIN' SO EASILY, BLENDING WITH THEIRS. I WATCHED YOU... AND THEY WERE SO HAPPY... ETCHIN' THE CORNERS OF YOUR MOUTH, SUGGESTED TEARS. FRESH KISSES THAT HAD DONE NO GOOD... FULL, AND WET... LINED WITH THE IRIDESCENT FEATHERS, THE HAIRS... WHEN I KISSED THEM...REVERENTLY... THAT YOU KNEW FROM BEHIND YOUR WAIST, WAS ACHING TO BE HELD. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I KNOW YOU. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. GET OUT. (SOBBING) GET OUT! (WHISPERED) YOU DON'T...YOU DON'T... YOU DON'T KNOW ME! GET OUT! (DOOR SLAMS) (SOBBING) YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HOLY?! YOU MADE HIM DO THAT TO ME! YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU DON'T LOVE ME! (SOBBING) WHAT THE HELL YOU LOOKING AT, YOU OLD BITCH? NOTHING. OPEN MY DOOR. (BREATHING HEAVILY) NOT TILL YOU APOLOGIZE FOR TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT. I SAID OPEN THIS MOTHER FUCKING DOOR! OPEN MY DOOR! (BREATHING HEAVILY) HEY, HEY, HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND? GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY APARTMENT. GILDA! GILDA! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. OH! I'M GONNA SAY THIS FOR THE LAST TIME. SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. IF YOU DON'T PUT THIS ICE ON YOUR FACE, YOU'RE GONNA TURN BLACK AND BLUE. YOU WANT THAT? IT MAKES SENSE, YOU KNOW. WHAT? YOU AND YOUR MAMA. SLEEPING WITH ALL THESE MEN, THINKING IT'S JUST SEX. IT AIN'T JUST SEX, HONEY. IT ALL HAS A ROOT. AND YOU GOTTA FIND THAT ROOT TO PLUCK IT. AT 4:30 AM, YOU RISE, MOVING THE ARMS AND LEGS THAT TRAPPED YOU... YOUR SIDE OF VERMIN, THE SCULPTURED MAN... AND MAKE YOURSELF A BATH OF DARK MUSK OIL EGYPTIAN CRYSTALS AND FLORIDA WATER TO REMOVE YOUR SMELL, TO WASH AWAY THE GLITTER, TO WATCH THE BUTTERFLIES MELT INTO SUDS. AND THE RHINESTONES FALL BENEATH YOUR BUTTOCKS LIKE SMOOTH PEBBLES IN THE MISSOURI CREEK. LAYING IN WATER... YOU BECOME YOURSELF... ORDINARY, BROWN-BRAIDED WOMAN WITH BIG LEGS AND FULL LIPS. REGULAR. AND THOSE WHO FALL PREY TO THE DAZZLE OF HIPS PAINTED WITH ORANGE BLOSSOMS AND MAGNOLIA-SCENTED WRISTS, THAT WANTED NO MORE THAN TO LAY BETWEEN HER SPARKLING THIGHS AND HAD PLANNED ON LEAVING BEFORE DAWN. AND WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WRITING YOUR ACCOUNT OF HER EXPLOIT IN A DIARY EMBROIDERED WITH LILIES AND MOONSTONES, YOU PLACE THE ROSE BEHIND YOUR EAR, AND CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP. DAMN YOU, LISTENING TO ALL MY BUSINESS THROUGH THIS WALL. I USED TO BE YOU. (DOOR OPENS) FRANK? FRANK? (SIGHS) FRANK. (GASPS) NOT WHEN I NEED HIM MOST. OH! WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THIS SHIT TO MYSELF?! (BREATHING HEAVILY) OHH. # SWEET BABY # AND IT LASTS ALL DAY LONG # I GOT... HEY, BABY. HEY. I GOT YOUR FAVOURITE CHINESE. WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S WRONG? I'M OK. JUST HOLD ME. JUST HOLD ME. YOU ALL RIGHT, BABY? I'M OK. HUH? I'M OK. OH, BABY. JUST HOLD ME. YEAH. HOLD ON TO ME. IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART. (DOOR SHUTS) WHERE WERE YOU? PLAYING BASKETBALL WITH THE FELLAS. JO, WHAT'S WRONG? MY ASSISTANT'S CHILDREN WERE MURDERED TODAY. OHH. OH, WOW. I SAW EVERY-- I SAW EVERYTHING. FOR 8 YEARS... 8 YEARS, THIS GIRL HAS BEEN WORKING FOR ME, AND I NEVER KNEW SHE WAS ABUSED. CRYSTAL... WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I? EVERY SINGLE DAY SHE'S IN MY FACE, CARL. I NEVER KNEW IT. AHH... YOU OK? I WAS SITTING HERE, AND I WAS--I WAS THINKING... WHO CAN I CALL? WHO CAN I-- WHO CAN I TALK TO? YOU SHOULDA CALLED ME. LET ME SEE SOMETHING. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. I'M HERE NOW. OK? I'M HERE. I'M GONNA GET YOU CLEANED UP, OK? GET YOU CLEANED UP. WE'LL RUN A NICE HOT BATH FOR YOU, MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. I GOT YOU, BABY. (DOOR SQUEAKING) MAMA, I AM SO SORRY. THAT THAT WAS GROWING INSIDE YOU WAS A SIN. HAD TO BE DESTROYED. YOU GO PRAY TO ELNOHIM FOR FORGIVENESS. I DON'T HEAR YOU PRAYING. OH, KIND AND GENTLE GOD, I PRAY THAT YOU WILL FORGIVE ME, FOR I HAVE SINNED. GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO RESIST THE TEMPTATIONS THAT THE DEVIL PUTS IN FRONT OF ME. I DON'T HEAR YOU PRAYING. I PRAY FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS... AND THAT I CAN BECOME A BETTER PERSON. HEAR YOURSELF, CHILD. I CALL UPON YOU TO TAKE THE DEVIL OUT OF THIS CHILD. TAKE THE DEVIL OUT OF THIS CHILD! CLEAR THIS CHILD! YOU'RE HURTING ME. COME OUT! COME OUT, CHILD! DON'T! SOMEBODY COME AND SAVE THIS CHILD! AAH! STOP! LET GO OF ME! (SCREAMING) STOP IT! REPENT! REPENT! REPENT! (DOOR BUZZING REPEATEDLY) (GASPS) (SCRUBBING) (SIRENS IN BACKGROUND) HI. I CAN'T GET THIS BLOOD UP. IT'S HERE...AND PEOPLE... ARE WALKING ALL OVER IT-- MY BABIES' BLOOD. PART OF ME KNOWS THIS HAPPENED, BUT MOST OF ME FEELS LIKE I'M DREAMING. AM I AWAKE? I DON'T FEEL AWAKE. THIS MUST BE WHAT DEATH FEELS LIKE. HAVE SOME RESPECT! FOR MY BABIES... I'M SORRY... NYLA. SHE JUST PULLED MY HAIR HARD IS ALL. CRYSTAL, DO YOU HAVE A DRY TOWEL? CRYSTAL? CAN I HAVE A DRY TOWEL? (GIGGLES) NO, I LIKE YOU, TOO. (CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, TANGIE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? YOU SENT ME TO THAT WOMAN, AND YOU KNEW? OH...(LAUGHS) YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT THE $300 WAS FOR AN ABORTION, INSTEAD OF LYING LIKE YOU DID. BABY... BABY, WHO WAS THAT? THAT'S JUST MY SISTER. CAN SHE, UH...CAN SHE COME OVER AND JOIN US? SHE'S 16. AND? MOTHER FUCKER, GET YOUR ASS OUTTA MY HALLWAY. BABY... NO, I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR FACE! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR FACE! CRAZY BITCH. OH, YEAH, YOU GOT THE SHORT EYES, YEAH? YOU LIKE TO FUCK LITTLE BOYS, TOO? YOU LIKE ME 'CAUSE I GOT LITTLE TITTIES TO REMIND YOU OF A KID?! YOU SICK ASS MOTHER FUCKER. WHAT'S SHE DOING IN HERE? WHO ARE YOU? I'M HER SISTER. SHE HAD A FIGHT WITH YOUR MOTHER. I'M GONNA LET YOU GUYS TALK. HEY... IT'S NOT FUNNY. (CHUCKLES) SWEETIE, WITH A MOTHER LIKE OURS, YOU BETTER LEARN HOW TO LAUGH... TO KEEP FROM CRYING. DID SHE DO THE OIL? (LAUGHS) I GOT IT, TOO. BUT I DID NOT THINK THAT SHE WOULD DO IT... TO HER FAVOURITE. STOP IT! STOP LAUGHING AT ME! IT'S NOT FUNNY. (CHUCKLES) I'M SORRY. AHEM. NO, I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE LAUGHED AT. I APOLOGIZE. WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH, TANGIE? I DON'T HATE YOU. OH, YEAH? BECAUSE YOU ACT LIKE IT. HMPH. YEAH, I KNOW. (SIGHS) COME ON. (SIGHS) YOU CAN'T LOVE SOMEBODY WITH THAT MUCH HURT IN THEM. I'M LEARNING THAT MORE AND MORE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. I'VE LOST TOUCH WITH REALITY. I DON'T KNOW WHO'S DOING IT. I THOUGHT I WAS, BUT...I WAS STUPID. I WAS ABLE TO BE HURT... AND THAT'S NOT REAL. NOT ANYMORE. WE SHOULD BE IMMUNE... IF WE'RE STILL ALIVE. HOW ARE WE STILL ALIVE? IN MY DEPENDENCY ON OTHER LIVING BEINGS FOR LOVE... I SURVIVE ON INTIMACY. AND TOMORROW THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT GOING. IT'S ALL I'VE GOT. BEING ALIVE... AND BEING A WOMAN. BEING COLOURED IS A METAPHYSICAL DILEMMA I HAVEN'T CONQUERED YET. YOU SEE THE POINT? WE'RE SISTERS, TANGIE. I THINK THE LEAST THAT WE CAN DO IS JUST BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER. (DRUM BEATING) ONCE THERE WERE QUADROON BALLS. ELEGANCE IN ST. LOUIS. LACED MULATTOES, GAMBLIN' DOWN THE MISSISSIPPI... TO MEMPHIS, NEW ORLEANS, AND OKRA CREPES NEAR THE BAYOU, WHERE THE POOR WHITE TRASH WOULD SING, MOANIN' STRANGE LIQUID TONES THROUGH THE SWAMPS. SECHITA HAD HEARD THESE THINGS. SHE PUSHED THE CLINGING DELTA DUST WITH PAINTED TOES. CREOLE CARNIVAL WAS PLAYING NATCHEZ. SECHITA, EGYPTIAN GODDESS OF CREATIVITY 2ND MILLENNIUM, THREW HER HEAVY HAIR IN A COIL OVER HER NECK. THE RECORDING OF HISTORY SPREAD CRIMSON OIL ON HER CHEEKS, WAXED HER EYEBROWS, AND UNCONSCIOUSLY SLUGGED THE LAST HARD WHISKEY IN THE GLASS. THE BROKEN MIRROR SHE USED TO DECORATE HER FACE MADE HER FOREHEAD TILT BACKWARDS, HER CHEEKS APPEAR SUNKEN. SECHITA HAD LEARNED TO MAKE ALLOWANCES FOR THE DISTORTIONS, BUT THE HEAVY DUST OF THE DELTA LEFT A TINGE OF GRIT AND DARKNESS ON EVERY ONE OF HER DRESSES. SECHITA WAS ANXIOUS TO GET BACK TO ST. LOUIS. THE DARK MAN DIDN'T CRAWL FROM THE EARTH INTO YOUR SOUL. AT LEAST IN ST. LOUIS, THE GRIME WAS STORE BOUGHT, SECOND HAND. SECHITA COULD HEAR REDNECK WHOOPS AND SLAPPING ON THE BACK. SHE GATHERED HER SPARSELY SEQUINED SKIRT, AND MADE HER FACE IMMOBILE, LIKE NEFERTITI APPROACHING HER OWN TOMB. MAN: IS THAT HIM, MA'AM? YES. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? HE RAPED A WOMAN, AND SHE STABBED HIM. GUESS THE BASTARD GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM, HUH? I GUESS SO. THEY JUST PUMPED HER STOMACH. CAN WE SEE HER? NOT JUST YET. AS SOON AS SHE STABILIZES, I'LL LET EVERYBODY KNOW. BABE...COME ON TO BED. I WILL. HOW LONG YOU GONNA DO THIS? I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET THEM OUTTA THERE... BECAUSE WE HAD TO GO SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE A CHILD... MEANWHILE, LEAVING THOSE 2 KIDS IN THAT APARTMENT... HEY, ONE THING HAPPENING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OTHER. NO MATTER WHAT, I LOVE YOU. COME TO BED. FRANK! FRANK? FRANK, I KNOW YOU THINK I FORGOT THIS MORNING, BUT I DIDN'T. FRANK, I HAVE A B--BIRTHDAY? FRANK? (GASPS) OH...NO, NO. OH... SOMEBODY ALMOST WALKED OFF WITH ALL OF MY STUFF. AND DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH TO SEND A NOTE HOME SAYING I WAS LATE FOR MY SOLO CONVERSATION OR 2 SIZES TOO SMALL FOR MY OWN TACKY SKIRTS. WHAT CAN ANYBODY DO WITH SOMETHING OF NO VALUE ON THE OPEN MARKET? DID YOU GET A DIME FOR MY THINGS? HEY, MAN! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH ALL OF MY STUFF? THIS IS A WOMAN'S TRIP, AND I NEED MY STUFF TO OOH AND AHH ABOUT. HONEST TO GOD, SOMEBODY ALMOST RAN OFF WITH ALL OF MY STUFF, AND I DIDN'T BRING ANYTHING BUT THE KICK AND SWAY OF IT, THE PERFECT ASS FOR MY MAN, AND NONE OF IT IS THEIRS. THIS IS MINE--JUANITA'S OWN THINGS. THAT'S MY NAME. NOW GIVE ME MY STUFF. I SEE YOU HIDING MY LAUGH AND HOW I SIT WITH MY LEGS OPEN SOMETIMES TO GIVE MY CROTCH SOME SUNLIGHT. THIS IS SOME DELICATE LEG AND WHIMSICAL KISS. I GOTTA HAVE TO GIVE TO MY CHOICE, SO YOU CAN'T HAVE ME UNLESS I GIVE ME AWAY. AND I WAS DOING ALL THAT TILL YOU RAN OFF ON A GOOD THING. AND WHO IS THIS YOU LEFT ME WITH? SOME SIMPLE BITCH WITH A BAD ATTITUDE. I WANT MY THINGS. I WANT MY ARM WITH THE HOT IRON SCAR. I WANT MY LEG WITH THE FLEA BITE. (LAUGHS) YEAH. I WANT MY THINGS. I WANT MY CALLUSED FEET AND QUICK LANGUAGE BACK IN MY MOUTH. I WANT MY OWN THINGS. HOW I LOVE THEM. SOMEBODY ALMOST RAN OFF WITH ALL OF MY STUFF, AND I WAS STANDING THERE LOOKING AT MYSELF THE WHOLE TIME. IT WASN'T A SPIRIT THAT RAN OFF WITH MY STUFF, IT WAS A MAN WHOSE EGO WALKED AROUND LIKE RODAN'S SHADOW. IT WAS A MAN FASTER THAN MY INNOCENCE. IT WAS A LOVER I MADE TOO MUCH ROOM FOR, ALMOST RAN OFF WITH ALL MY STUFF. AND THE ONE RUNNING WITH IT DON'T KNOW HE GOT IT. I'M SHOUTING, "THIS IS MINE!" AND HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HE GOT IT. MM-MMM.... MY STUFF IS THE ANONYMOUS RIPPED OFF TREASURE OF THE YEAR. DID YOU KNOW SOMEBODY ALMOST GOT AWAY WITH ME? ME. IN A PLASTIC BAG UNDER HIS ARM. ME. JUANITA SIMS. SOMEBODY ALMOST WALKED OFF WITH ALL MY STUFF. MM-MMM. WHY IS IT EVERY TIME SOMEBODY KNOCKS ON THIS DOOR, YOURS OPENS? NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH HER? JUST GET YOUR NOSY ASS BACK IN YOUR APARTMENT. GO ON. HI. HI. UM... WE'RE HAVING A... A GET-TOGETHER AT THE COMMUNITY CENTRE TONIGHT, AND...WE WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO COME. NO, I DON'T THINK SO. IT WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU TO GET OUT, YOU KNOW? IT'S IN HONOUR OF, UH... MY LITTLE SISTER'S GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE AND GETTING HER OUT OF MY APARTMENT. IT'LL BE FUN. IF I FEEL UP TO IT. YEAH. YEAH, ALL RIGHT. YOU COULD BRING SOMEBODY IF YOU WANT TO. DON'T...DON'T BRING HER. I FEEL YOU LOOKING AT MY ASS, OLD LADY. ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN COME. IS THAT YOUR WAY OF APOLOGIZING TO ME? NOTICE YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY VISITORS LATELY. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. I SEE YOU'RE STARTING TO MIND YOURS. HMM. EVER SINCE I REALIZED THERE WAS SOMETHING CALLED A COLOURED GIRL, OR AN EVIL WOMAN, A BITCH, OR A NAG, I BEEN TRYING NOT TO BE THAT AND LEAVE BITTERNESS IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S CUP. COME TO SOMEBODY TO LOVE ME, WITHOUT DEEP AND NASTY SMELLING SCARS FROM LIE OR--OR BEING LEFT SCREAMING IN A STREET OF LUNATICS WHISPERING, "SLUT, BITCH, BITCH. NIGGA, GET OUTTA HERE WITH ALL OF THAT." I DIDN'T HAVE ANY OF THAT FOR YOU. I BROUGHT YOU WHAT JOY I FOUND. AND I FOUND JOY... AND THEN THERE'S THAT WOMAN WHO HURT YOU... AND WHO YOU LEFT 3 OR 4 TIMES, AND THEN YOU WENT BACK AFTER YOU PUT MY HEART IN THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHOE. YOU JUST WALKED BACK TO WHERE YOU HURT. AND I DIDN'T HAVE NOTHING, SO...I WONDER WHY SOMEBODY HAD SOMETHING FOR ME. BUT NONE OF THEM WERE YOU. I GOT A REAL DEAD LOVE IN HERE FOR YOU NOW. 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE HOW TO AVOID MY OWN FACE, WET WITH MY TEARS BECAUSE I HAD CONVINCED MYSELF THAT COLOURED GIRLS HAVE NO RIGHT TO SORROW. I LIVED FOR YOU. OH, I KNOW I DID IT FOR MYSELF, BUT I COULDN'T STAND IT. I COULDN'T STAND BEING SORRY AND COLOURED AT THE SAME TIME. IT'S SO REDUNDANT, HUH? IN THE MODERN WORLD. I GUESS THIS IS GOOD-BYE. LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE. (DOOR CLOSES) CRYSTAL? CRYSTAL. DID YOU EAT TODAY? (SIGHS) NO, YOU DIDN'T. NO... CRYSTAL... WHAT IS YOUR PLAN? WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BABY? YOU JUST GONNA LAY HERE AND DIE? HOW COULD HE DO IT? IT WASN'T JUST HIM, HONEY. BUT I TRIED TO STOP HIM. YOU HAD TO STOP HIM LONG BEFORE HE GOT TO THAT WINDOW. ARE YOU SAYING THIS IS MY FAULT? WHAT I'M SAYING, CRYSTAL, IS, YOU GONNA HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN SOME OF THIS. HOW MUCH OF IT YOU TAKE IS UP TO YOU. BUT YOU GOTTA TAKE SOME OF IT. (SOBBING) UNTIL YOU DO... YOU JUST GONNA BE LIVING TO DIE. I KNOW IT HURTS... (SOBBING) BUT YOU GOTTA GET UP FROM HERE. BUT I DIDN'T SAVE MY BABIES. THEN SAVE SOME OTHER WOMAN'S BABIES. HELP ANOTHER WOMAN WHO'S MISSING WHAT YOU'RE MISSING. THERE'S TOO MUCH LIFE WRAPPED IN YOUR VOICE. YOU GOTTA GET UP FROM HERE. COME ON. COME ON, BABY. (SOBS) COME ON. (WHISPERING) COME ON, BABY. COME ON. COME ON. THAT'S RIGHT. NOW, CRYSTAL... CRYSTAL, I WANT YOU TO BREATHE. COME ON. COME ON... (BREATHING HEAVILY) YES. YES. YES, BABY, THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. BREATHE. (SOBBING) MY LAST HUSBAND, I HAD A DETECTIVE FOLLOW HIM. AND EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T DO THAT WITH YOU... (SIGHS) I KNOW I IGNORED EVERYTHING IN ME TO BE WITH YOU. BABY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. (COUGHING) (SIGHS) I WENT TO MY GYNAECOLOGIST... AND, UH, BEFORE YOU, EVERY LEVEL IN MY BODY WAS FINE. BABY, ARE YOU SICK? TALK TO ME. TELL ME THE TRUTH, CARL. WHO HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH? YOUR APARTMENT SINCE--SINCE YOU AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER, I HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. AND I PROMISE YOU THAT. WHAT ABOUT A MAN? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST ASK ME? I SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THEM WHEN YOU THINK I'M NOT PAYING ATTENTION. I SEE IT. THE--THE--THE--THE POOL BOY IN THE HAMPTONS, MY DRIVER...THE GUY THE OTHER NIGHT AT THE OPERA. I SEE IT ALL, CARL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I HATE COMING UP INTO THIS MOTHER FUCKING HOUSE SOMETIMES. EVERY DAY, JOANNA, IF IT AIN'T YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO WEAR, HOW TO LOOK, CALLING THE SHOTS OVER MY HEAD. ARE YOU GAY? HOW YOU GONNA ASK ME A QUESTION LIKE THAT?! HOW DID YOU MARRY A WOMAN, AND THEN TURN AROUND AND LET A MAN BEND YOU OVER? AIN'T NOBODY BENDING ME OVER. OH, SO--SO YOU'RE DOING THE BENDING? IS THAT WHAT IT IS? I DON'T WAKE UP HOLDING ANOTHER MAN, WALKING DOWN THE STREET HOLDING SOME MAN'S HANDS. THAT'S GAY, OK? THAT AIN'T ME. YOU'RE SAYING A LOT, CARL. YOU'RE SAYING A LOT WITHOUT SAYING NOTHING AT ALL. I'M SAYING... THAT YOUR HUSBAND... IS A MAN, JO. I'M A MAN EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. I'M A MAN... I'M JUST A MAN... WHO ENJOYS... HAVING SEX... WITH ANOTHER MAN, JO. NO ATTACHMENTS. NO FUCKING. NO RELATIONSHIP. JUST SEX, YOU KNOW? THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. AND I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY, JO... FOR MY TRUTH. SAVE YOUR "SORRY." THE ONE THING I DON'T NEED ARE ANY MORE APOLOGIES. I GOT SORRY GREETING ME AT THE FRONT DOOR. YOU CAN KEEP YOURS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM. I CAN'T EVEN--I GOTTA THROW SOME AWAY, I CAN'T EVEN GET TO THE CLOTHES IN MY CLOSET FOR ALL THE SORRIES. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M--I'M GONNA PUT A SIGN-- A SIGN ON THE DOOR. BETTER YET, I'M GONNA LEAVE A VOICEMAIL-- A MESSAGE ON MY VOICEMAIL, "IF--IF YOU CALLED TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY, "THEN CALL SOMEBODY ELSE, 'CAUSE I DON'T USE 'EM ANYMORE." I LET...I LET "I'M SORRY," "I DIDN'T MEAN TO," AND "HOW COULD I KNOW ABOUT THAT?" TAKE A WALK DOWN A DARK AND MUSTY STREET IN BROOKLYN, CARL. WELL, I'M GONNA DO EXACTLY WHAT I WANT. AND I'M NOT GONNA BE SORRY FOR NONE OF IT. LET S--LET SORRY SOOTHE YOUR SOUL. I'LL SOOTHE MINE. YOU WERE ALWAYS BEING INCONSISTENT. DOING THINGS AND THEN SAYING YOU'RE SORRY ABOUT IT. BEATING MY HEART TO DEATH TALKING ABOUT "YOU'RE SORRY." WELL, YEAH, WELL, I'M-- I'M--I'M NOT GONNA CALL YOU. I'M--I'M NOT GONNA BE NICE. I'M GONNA RAISE MY VOICE. I'M GONNA YELL. I'M GONNA SCREAM. I'M GONNA BREAK THINGS. I'M GONNA RACE THE ENGINE AND TELL ALL YOUR SECRETS ABOUT YOU TO YOUR FACE. AND I AM NOT GONNA BE SORRY FOR NONE OF IT. I LOVED YOU ON PURPOSE. I WAS OPEN. ON PURPOSE. I'M NOT EVEN SORRY ABOUT YOU BEING SORRY. YOU CAN TAKE ALL YOUR GUILT, AND ALL YOUR GRIME, AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH IT. JUST DON'T GIVE IT TO ME. I CAN'T USE ANOTHER "SORRY." NEXT TIME, CARL, ADMIT IT. ADMIT THAT YOU'RE MEAN. ADMIT THAT YOU'RE MEAN. ADMIT THAT YOU'RE LOWDOWN, DOWN-LOW, TRIFLING, AND NO ACCOUNT STRAIGHT OUT... INSTEAD OF BEING SORRY... ENJOY BEING YOURSELF. WHEN I GET BACK, I WANT YOU GONE... AND TAKE YOUR HIV WITH YOU. (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (LAUGHTER AND CHATTER) AND I AM JUST SO EXCITED THAT YOU CAME. I WANT YOU TO MEET EVERYBODY. LADIES, LADIES! THIS IS MISS BRADMORE! SHE'S THE ONE THAT GAVE US ALL THE MONEY. YES! (APPLAUSE) NOW I WANT YOU TO COME TO THE ROOF. I'M JUST SO EXCITED. WE HAD IT FIXED BECAUSE OF YOU. YES, WE DID. OH! MAMA. COME ON. I BROUGHT HER SOME THINGS. OH, IS IT TICKING? WHERE IS SHE? OH...OVER HERE. NYLA? HEY, MAMA. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. YOU WANT SOME FOOD, MAMA? NO. I HAVE TO GO. THIS IS THE DEVIL'S MUSIC. YES, IT IS! HOW MANY WOMEN IN YOUR CLASSES HAVE HIV? 2 OUT OF 4, AND USUALLY FROM SOMEONE THEY TRUSTED OR LOVED. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORSE, IF IT'S THE BETRAYAL OR THE VIRUS. HIV IS NOT THE DEATH SENTENCE THAT IT USED TO BE. I MEAN, I HAVE PATIENTS THAT ARE ON THEIR MEDS AND HAVE GREAT LIVES AND HAVE BEEN LIVING THEM FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS. WOMEN JUST GIVE UP SO MUCH. JUST--(COUGHS)-- JUST SO MUCH OF THEIR POWER. IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANY OF US--ANYONE THAT'S IN LOVE. MISS JUANITA. LOOK WHO'S HERE. I CAN'T BELIEVE... CRYSTAL! I'M HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME WHEN THERE'S NO MAN AROUND. UH, WELL, YOU LEAVE THAT WHERE IT IS. MY LOVE IS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO HAVE THROWN BACK ON MY FACE. THAT'S TRUE. I LIKE THAT. TRY ONE. WHAT? WELL, I DO IT ALL THE TIME IN MY CLASS. YOU JUST SAY, "MY LOVE IS TOO..." AND THEN YOU'LL FILL IN THE BLANK. MY LOVE IS TOO SANCTIFIED TO HAVE THROWN BACK IN MY FACE. HA HA! OOH... ALL RIGHT. NOW, SEE? MY LOVE IS TOO MAGIC TO HAVE THROWN BACK IN MY FACE. MY LOVE IS TOO COMPLICATED... TO HAVE THROWN BACK ON MY FACE. MY LOVE IS TOO MUSIC TO HAVE THROWN BACK ON MY FACE. MY LOVE IS TOO SATURDAY NIGHT TO HAVE THROWN BACK ON MY FACE. YES, AND YOU REMEMBER THAT WHEN A MAN TRIES TO WALK OFF WITH ALL OF YOUR STUFF. (LAUGHTER) I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT. OR, SAYING "SORRY" A MILLION TIMES. WE ALL HAVE "I'M SORRY" STORIES, DON'T WE? GET THIS, JUST LAST WEEK MY EX-OLD MAN COMES IN SAYING, "BABY, I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE GOT YOUR NUMBER. I'M SORRY." OH, NO, THIS IS IT. "OH, BABY, YOU KNOW I WAS HIGH. I'M SORRY." "I'M ONLY HUMAN. "OUR INADEQUACIES ARE WHAT MAKE US HUMAN. "IF WE WERE PERFECT, WE WOULDN'T HAVE NOTHING TO STRIVE FOR, SO, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO ON AND FORGIVE ME BECAUSE, I'M SORRY." THIS ONE IS IT. "I DO YA LIKE I DO YA 'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU COULD TAKE IT. NO? I'M SORRY." "NOW I KNOW YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, "BUT I AIN'T GONNA LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU WANT ME TO LOVE YOU. I'M SORRY." "SHUT UP, BITCH..." "TOLD YOU I'M SORRY." IT'S OK. I ASKED MYSELF... HOW I COULD LET THAT HAPPEN. I REALIZED... I WAS MISSING SOMETHING. SOMETHING PROMISED. SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT. A LAYING ON OF HANDS. FINGERS NEAR MY FOREHEAD, STRONG, COOL, MOVING. MAKING ME WHOLE. SCENTS, PURE. ALL OF GOD COMING INTO ME. LAYING ME OPEN TO MYSELF. I WAS MISSING SOMETHING. SOMETHING PROMISED. SOMETHING FREE. LAYING ON OF HANDS. I KNEW ABOUT LAYING ON BODIES, LAYING OUT A MAN... AND BRINGING HIM ALL OF MY FLESHY SELF. AND SOME OF MY PLEASURE BEING TAKEN, FULL EGO, WET, LIKE I GET SOMETIMES. I WAS MISSING SOMETHING. LAYING ON OF HANDS. NOT MY MAMA. HOLDING ME TIGHT, SAYING I'M ALWAYS GONNA BE HER GIRL. NOT A LAYING ON OF BOSOM AND WOMB. THE LAYING ON OF HANDS. THE HOLINESS OF MYSELF. RELEASED. I SAT UP ONE NIGHT, WALKING MY APARTMENT FLOORS--SCREAMING, CRYING. THE GHOST OF ANOTHER WOMAN WHO WAS MISSING WHAT I WAS MISSING. I WANTED TO JUMP OUT OF MY BONES, BE DONE WITH MYSELF. LEAVE ME ALONE, GO ON IN THE WIND. IT WAS TOO MUCH. I FELL INTO A NUMBNESS. TILL THE ONLY TREE I COULD SEE... PICKED ME UP INTO HER BRANCHES... HELD ME IN THE BREEZE... MADE ME DAWN DEW THAT CHILL AT DAYBREAK. THE SUN... WRAPPED ME UP... SWINGING ROSE LIGHT EVERYWHERE. AND THE SKY LAID OVER ME... LIKE A MILLION MEN. I WAS COLD. I WAS BURNING UP. A CHILD AND ENDLESSLY WEAVING GARMENTS FOR THE MOON... WITH MY TEARS... I FELT GOD IN MYSELF. AND I LOVED HER FIERCELY! # MY SKIN IS BLACK # MY ARMS ARE LONG # MY HAIR IS WOOLLY # MY BACK IS STRONG # STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE THE PAIN # # INFLICTED AGAIN AND AGAIN # # WHAT DO THEY CALL ME? # MY NAME IS AUNT SARAH # MY NAME... # IS AUNT SARAH # AUNT SARAH # MY SKIN IS YELLOW # MY HAIR IS LONG # BETWEEN 2 WORLDS, I DO BELONG # # MY FATHER WAS RICH AND WHITE # # HE FORCED MY MOTHER LATE ONE NIGHT # # WHAT DO THEY CALL ME? # MY NAME IS SAFFRONIA # SAFFRONIA... (HUMMING) # MY SKIN IS TAN # HEY # AND MY HAIR IS FINE # MY HIPS INVITE YOU # OH, OH, OH # AND MY MOUTH IS LIKE WINE # # AND WHOSE LITTLE GIRL AM I? # # ANYONE WHO HAS MONEY TO BUY # # OH, WHAT--WHAT DO THEY CALL ME? # # MY NAME IS... SWEET THING # # AW, THEY CALL ME SWEET THING # # MY SKIN IS BROWN (HUMS) # MY MANNER IS TOUGH # I'LL KILL THE FIRST MOTHER I SEE # # OH, 'CAUSE MY LIFE HAS BEEN ROUGH # # I'M AWFUL BITTER THESE DAYS # # BECAUSE MY PARENTS WERE SLAVES # # OOH # WHAT DO THEY CALL ME? # MY NAME IS # PEACHES # OH, OH, OOH, OOH, YEAH, # # ALL THE TINY LITTLE BREAKS # # BUT SOMEWHERE OUT BEYOND ALL REASON # # YOU KEEP ON GIVING WHAT IT TAKES # # I GUESS YOU GOTTA GO THE DISTANCE # # TO KNOW JUST WHEN ENOUGH'S ENOUGH # # WON'T LET NOBODY TAKE IT FROM ME # # 'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT I'M MADE OF # # AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN'T RISE ABOVE # # OH, FINALLY I CAN FEEL WITHOUT FEARING # # CRY WITHOUT THE PAIN # STAND UP AND LOVE ME WITHOUT ANY SHAME # # IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A ROUGH WAY TO LEARN IT # # AND A HARD PLACE TO LAND # BUT THE ONE THING I'M SURE OF NOW # # IS I KNOW WHO I AM # I AM A WOMAN WHO'S WORTHY # I AM A WOMAN DESERVING # WHATEVER IT IS, I CAN TAKE IT # # WHATEVER IT IS... # I'M GONNA MAKE IT # OHH # FINALLY, I CAN FEEL WITHOUT FEARING # # CRY WITHOUT THE PAIN # OH, STAND UP AND LOVE ME # WITHOUT ANY SHAME # IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A ROUGH WAY TO LEARN IT # # AND A HARD PLACE TO LAND # BUT THE ONE THING I'M SURE OF NOW # # OH, AND I ABSOLUTELY # I ABSOLUTELY # KNOW WHO I AM #