# "Till I Cry You Out Of Me" - Sozzi # Ah-h-h-h # Mm-m-m-m # God help me this time # I'm really trying to try # I just feel like I'm waiting # For nothing # A float on a line # My heart's been pounding all day # Like I've been running away # Mm-mm # I know this evening you'll be sleeping... # Mom? (GROANS) Suzy never showed up. I did a double. I'm so... tired. (GROANS) Finished. You did?! Oh! That's great. Very well done. So, you find out about it today? I don't find out about the scholarship till after finals. What about the grant? Declined. Same as the loans. Dad still uses me as a deduction. Bastard! I have a good shot at valedictorian. I could get the scholarship. And you will. I've got complete faith in you. I got to go. If I just get through this week I'll be fine. Come here. I have to go! I need a hug. I need one. Come on. Ahh. You're gonna get to college. I mean, look at this, this is brilliant! My little girl, the writer. You're gonna make it. You're gonna get out of here. I just know it. You didn't do so bad. Yeah. But you're gonna go all the way. So you really think this is an A? You're the A. That teacher of yours isn't gonna know what hit her. # One thousand faces # All look the same # They're all so boring # Mild and tame # Contaminate him # Knock off his glasses # Teach him to tamper # With the cloning process # Pardon me, sir # Can I ask you a favour? # Make me a cowboy like my next-door neighbour (BELL) # Pardon me, sir # Can I use your eraser # To remove my brain of unconventional nature-e-e... Coach! # The board has dubbed you special student # Wake up, will you! Trudie Tucker has no business driving a Mercedes. I need your senior prophecy. I don't know. I hate that shit. Think of where you'll be in 20 years. You're the writer, you do it. "Jo Lynn Jordan, famous film star, last seen..." "In rehab, divorced from gay husband." What does yours says? What does yours says? I haven't done mine yet. "Leigh Ann Watson, famous journalist, wins the Pulitzer Prize for her personal account of being a 38-year-old virgin." Watch it. Simple reminder. # Take my tongue # It's cocked and loaded # The board has dubbed you special student # Sit alone, sweat in silence # We don't tolerate... # Trudie, what's that? The Bastille, as in the storming of, as in the French Revolution. It's cute. I think we can do better than cute. Don't you think so, Leigh Ann? Good job. Very well done. # Take my tongue, it's cocked and loaded # The board has dubbed you special student # Sit alone, sweat in silence # We don't tolerate defiance # Oh my God! There he is. He's such a - Canker. With a wrought iron ass! Dare me. What? Just say it. Dare me. Just say it. Dare me. OK, I dare you. Thank you. Oops! Whoa! Jeez. Sorry. Jo Lynn, it's OK. I shouldn't be in public with my feet. I'm sorry. Hey, Leigh Ann, how's it going? Hey, Leigh Ann, how's it going? She's good. I'm kinda out of it. What's wrong? A bit of pity is in order since I've had this stirring and passionate secret love for you since... the third grade. But I feel much better now. Thanks. I cannot believe you just did that! I can't either! I can't either! Chill on the hair products, they're going up your nose. This little voice said, "Do it!" You're not supposed to listen to it. No, Leigh Ann, you've got to listen. # I don't know you and I don't want you here # (CHATTERING) Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, man. There she is. (GASPING) Excuse me. (GASPS) (SCREAMS) Get out of the way! > Good day, Coach. Mr Potter. May I have a moment? Morning, Mrs Tingle. How are you? Fine, thank you. Mrs Tingle. Will you excuse us? Of course. (BELL) How can I help you? Summer school starts in three weeks. Did you get my research materials? It's a matter of budget. I was thinking - No, don't. We prefer the whistling wind effect you have on us. I requested those materials some time ago. We don't have the money. I'm sure if you take another look at that budget, ingenuity will abound. So, thank you in advance. Oh, by the way, happy birthday. It's not my birthday. No, not your natal birthday, the AA one. You've been sober... How long is it now? Four years. There! Me and dates. That's the curse of being a history teacher. Congratulations. That's quite an accomplishment. Just think, not one sip of alcohol in over four years. That's... almost unbelievable. Are you OK, Mr Potter? Yes, I'm fine. Just a little tired. Late night? I loved President Kennedy. But, despite my feelings for Jack, he was, after all, a married man. So our affair remained secret. But it endured, and it wasn't just about sex. We helped each other. He asked me for advice. I encouraged him to pull out of Berlin. Advised him on the Cuban Missile Crisis and encouraged him to sign that silly old nuclear peace treaty. So, in conclusion, I ask you, to ask not what your mistress can do for you, but what your mistress can do for your country. (GIGGLING) (APPLAUSE) Thank you, for that nauseating distortion of American history. I was trying to point out that their indiscretions have had a major impact on history. You did it without one shred of factual evidence, leaving your project's merit to be judged on a tepid impersonation. Completely out of your very limited range as an actress. Take your seat. Mr Berry. I, er... I've been thinking about getting into law enforcement after graduation. So for my project I've created a medieval crossbow. (GASPING) It's not loaded. This was a very popular means... ..of protection during the early 15th century. Erm... By placing a bow in the chamber... Erm... ..the bowing of the wood creates a pressure... (GASPING) Cool! I... Don't tease us, Mr Berry. When you shoot, make it count. It wasn't... I didn't think... No. That would require a cerebrum, and a few other missing parts! What you did is bring a weapon to school, which is punishable in a court of law. Sit down before I have you arrested. Mr Churner, dare I even ask? Plymouth Rock. (CHATTERING) Your work, Mr Churner, is very reminiscent of a young man who sat in that same chair some 20 years ago. He too had the words "No Future" printed on his forehead. Give your father my best. (ALL) Ooh. Miss Watson? Dazzle us, will you? I've created a 17th-century journal. "One Year in the Life of an Accused Salem Witch." Documenting actual events, it has 365 entries written with quill and ink, bound by leather and aged for authenticity. It chronicles a young girl's false imprisonment and unfair trial. It took six months - "October 10th, 1692. Another girl was burned at the stake today." "I fear Griggs will point to me." "I fear my future will be nothing more than smouldering ashes." "If this be true, I pray the wind carries my ashes from Gallows Hill to a place that allows me to sing and dance in the open air." How very moving(!) I tried not to get too carried away with the prose. It's completely factual. She was ultimately burned at the stake. It's documented. Always the victim, aren't we, Miss Watson? There are similarities between society today and 17th-century Salem. I guess that would be the irony of it all. I'm well aware of what irony is. You, however, should consult your dictionary. Of course, I wasn't suggesting that - Irony is the opposite of what is, or might be expected. For example, if Miss Watson was expecting an A on her project, she might find the actual result to be rather ironic. (LAUGHS) I pray your Salem witch escaped such literary infractions. Please, sit down. Miss Tucker. (BELL) You're number two, by one point. Oh. Pity. I know how much you were counting on being valedictorian. I'm sorry. And I take it you're number one? Only by a smidge. Maybe you'll get an A on that history project and turn everything around. Congratulations, Trudie. Do you mean that? Thank you. That is so sweet. That's what has always impressed me most. You are so sweet and real. I know things haven't been easy and I love that you always rise above. Thank you. It's so very evolved of you. I'm sorry about that scholarship. I hope you weren't counting on it. Oh, well, have a nice day. I heard that. You can still get that scholarship. How? You got a week to take her down. You're only behind by a point. Study hard, you can beat her. You don't understand. History cost me big time. Mrs Tingle hates me. Mrs Tingle's a bitch. She hates everyone. She even hates me. You can do this. I believe in you. Trudie Tucker has built this - She's a Harvard trust-fund twit whose grades are due to ass kissing. She doesn't need this scholarship. You do! As guidance counsellor, you've been my pride and joy. You deserve it. You just got to believe in yourself. Thank you, Miss Gold. I can't believe I'm doing extra credit. You need it. You have one week to bump Bitch Trudie from the throne. I don't have to be a writer. I could do something more practical. No. You are gonna be valedictorian. You're gonna get your scholarship. You're gonna pursue your dreams, and I am going to see to it. My last piece of business before I freak to Hollywood. I'm gonna miss you. Come here, cheese ball. Don't make me cry. You know I'm easy. Can we make this a three-way? What do you say? Now, what are you two lovely ladies doing on this hard wooden floor? Seating arrangements for graduation. You are gonna graduate, aren't you? The celebration has already begun. Get serious! Be cool. That's a no-no. You want a beer? You'll get us expelled. I'll have one. Jo Lynn! OK! Why is it we never dated? We did, almost. We were this close to hooking up at Kate's party. Sophomore year when I was an A-cup with braces. It was kind of a disaster. It was kind of a disaster. I thought that was somebody else. And why is it we never dated? Cut the alcohol! Some of us would like to graduate! Some of us can help you do that. What is this? Tingle's final exam. Where did you get it? You're not the only brain. You could get in trouble. It's a copy of the original. She'll never know. You sure it's authentic? Uh-huh. Tempting, isn't it? Brings up all those moral questions. Slither away. Let's go. Don't be so hasty. You just think about it. I'll leave it right there. What are you doing? You're a loser! Really? I think the race is still on for that title, Miss Watson. We were just... Doing the seating arrangements. Extra credit. Extra credit. Has it come to that? We were just finishing up. Take it easy, Miss Tingle. Well, well, well. Final exams aren't until next week, Miss Watson. It's not what you think. Save it for Mr Potter. Let us explain! The smartest girl in school caught cheating. (TUTS) The irony of it all. Shit! What is she gonna do? Shit! What is she gonna do? She went to go turn us in! Excuse me, Miss Banks. Excuse me, Miss Banks. Mrs Tingle, what can I do for you? I'm here to see Mr Potter. Mr Potter isn't in. Is there something I can help you with? Yes. Tell him his dereliction of duty does not go unnoticed. And it's urgent that I speak with him first thing. Understand? Certainly, Mrs Tingle. (BELL) Skank. Leigh! What's up? Basically, we're screwed. What did she say to Potter? What did she say to Potter? He's gone till morning. That gives us time. For what? Counteract. Solution mode. Counteract. Solution mode. It's her word against ours. We're dead! Wait! Luke and I will go to her and explain that you weren't involved. I'll tell the bitch. She won't believe you! She will! We'll give her the facts. It won't work. Face it, we're going to be expelled! No graduation, no nothing! We'll just go to Tingle, OK? It's worth a shot. LOUD RUMBLING Please. (VOICE TREMBLES) I've got my boy in the back. INDICATOR CLICKS RHYTHMICALLY (GASPS) SILENCE (EXHALES SLOWLY) Mate, I'm so sorry. I thought there was time. You just pulled out. I don't have time to stop. It was a simple mistake. LOUD RUMBLING Please. (VOICE TREMBLES) I've got my boy in the back. I'm going too fast. I'm sorry. (SOBS) SEAT BELT CLICKS EERIE CREAKING HARSH WHOOSHING (BARKING) This is such a bad idea. We don't exactly have a lot of choices. Don't be so pessimistic. It looks haunted. You can't go to a teacher's house, it's inappropriate. This is never gonna work. It will! It's after dinner. She's had her feeding and feeling giving. Who will do the talking? (BOTH) Me. The innocent always look guilty. I'll go. What are you gonna say? The truth! Look, I'm gonna get you to college. (HOOTING) (CREAKING) (CLASSICAL MUSIC) It won't work. What, we kerosene the place? Tingle's not stupid. You want to know why we never dated? This, right here, shining example. What? (DOORBELL / BARKING) < Sit! Mrs Tingle, hi. (BARKS) I'm sorry to bother you at home but it's urgent that I speak with you. There's been a misunderstanding and I'd just like the chance to explain. Well, you see, Leigh Ann wasn't cheating. I mean, come on, we both know she would never do that. You're probably wondering how the exam got in her bag, cos that's what I'd be wondering if I were you. And, er... (WHIMPERS) OK... Look, It was me. There. I stole... the exam. Leigh Ann wasn't involved at all. If anything, she was just trying to talk me out of it because... I guess things haven't been going too well for me lately. My mom has been very very sick. We had to take her to the hospital cos she got a blood clot in her leg. Erm, she's actually in intensive care right now because the blood clot went up her leg and into her kidneys. The doctors say it could be headed for her heart. And... ..maybe even her brain. They have been watering down her blood but... ..things aren't looking too good. So, I stole the exam. For my mom. I guess I just thought that if she could live to see me graduate, then maybe just... ..just maybe she... Mrs Tingle, I really am so, so sorry. You poor dear. I pray you're a good waitress. What happened? I cried real tears. She's not human. I'm sorry, I could try again. I'll go. No, I'll go. You just grab a beer. (DOORBELL) (BARKING) Good evening, Mrs Tingle. Is it? May I come in? Go home! Please? (BARKING) Sit. (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) (MUSIC STOPS) (WHIMPERS) Make it quick, Miss Watson. I've never cheated on anything in my life. I work hard for my grades. And I'm not a cheater. Where are you going? Where are you going? Shh. Come on. Do you have any idea what's going to happen to me? "Grandsboro's finest caught cheating." It'll be scandalous. I am innocent. Oh, how moving(!) You know I didn't do it. Even the innocent sometimes burn at the stake. Take your snivelling self and get out of my house. Not so fast! (BARKING) Mr Churner. To what do we owe the pleasure? Go away! I stole the exam. It was my doing. The role of saviour does not suit mediocrity. I suggest you run along. Fuck you, lady. Luke! Get out of my house! Both of you! He didn't mean it. Apologise. She wasn't cheating. This isn't happening. Get out of my house before I call your parents. That's not necessary. Don't do it! She'll lose everything. Leave my house now, or the first call will be to the police. Put the phone down. Luke! Luke! What do you think you're doing? Put that down. You're not calling the shots any more. It's time for her to learn a lesson. No! Put it down! Not till she agrees to a few things. And what might those few things be? Who can't keep treating people the way you do. No? Luke! (BARKING) You lose, Mr Churner. Now get out of my house, all of you. No! Luke, no! Leave him alone! (WHIMPERS) Oh-oh! Holy shit! Oh my God! Did I do that? Yeah, you did that. Let's get outta here! No, we can't leave! Yes, we can. We can just go. No, we can't! Is she dead? I don't know. She's not moving. No, you're wrong. She's breathing. She has to be! Make her breathe! It grazed her, she should be fine. She doesn't look fine. Oh my God! What do we do? Let me think! How are we gonna explain this? She'll press charges. Maybe we should just finish her! No, we can't finish her! We have to think this through! God. Shall we just leave her there? That's it. You guys all right? Yeah. Easy. Watch her head! Shit! Sorry. Let's just get her up there. Let's go. How's her head? It's minimal. She'll be all right. Here, take this. Eww. I found these. What for? Tying her up. No, you're not! Did you see her lunge at me? Come on. Come on! What's the plan? When she wakes up, we'll reason with her. We know how that works(!) You have a better idea? Torch the place. That had better been an attempt at humour, cos that is not an option. This is already way out of control! So we hang out here all night? No, she won't wake up till morning. I gotta go check on mom, she leaves cigarettes burning. She looks like that movie where the chick upchucks all over everybody. The Exorcist. Yeah. Don't screw this up! I'll stay with Luke. I'll tell my parents I'm at your place. I'll be back as soon as I can, and we'll try to think of something. (TV PLAYS) "I'm not a sweet thing, Pa. I blamed it all on Mary, and it wasn't even her fault." "I said wicked things to her on purpose." "I meant to be hurtful but it didn't stop my hurting." "Reverend Alden said that everyone's really the same on the inside, even though we look different on the outside." "No matter what." "That's right, half-pint." "I didn't mean to..." (GROANS) Oh, honey. The TV died in the living room. You don't mind, do you? No. What happened? Did Mrs Tingle like your project? Yeah, she really liked it. Are you at the top of your class? Yeah. Go back to sleep. Oh, sweetie. I'm so proud of you. All your dreams are gonna come true. Both our dreams. (TV) "I love ya." "If you're gonna grow up to be as pretty as your ma, we ought to..." f (TICKING) (BANGING) Untie me. Please. I need a doctor. I'm in pain. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. SOFTLY: I know. It's all right. Just untie me, please. (GROANS) Argh! It hurts. Untie me. I'm not supposed to do that. Help me. Please. I know it was an accident. I hit my head hard. My vision is blurry. Call an ambulance. Hurry. OK. No. Jo Lynn, please untie me. Please. OK. Now. I'm so sorry. It's just been - (SCREAMS) Stop right there, Mrs Tingle. So much for talking this out. Nice performance. Very subtle work. The blurry vision detail. Nice. Come here. You go home and get some rest. > I'd rather stay with you. I got it covered. This was my fault to begin with. I wanna be here. Whoa. This is kind of the wrong time for this. OK. I'll walk you down. # "I Shut Down" - Eman # How far would I go? # If I had to forget all I know # How long would I ride? # If I got tired of hiding # How I feel # That's enough peanut butter. My fingers are raw. What next? Let's see. Pickles? What do you want next? Sauerkraut? Show time! Are you ready? Don't do it. Be it. Ahh. Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Leaf in the wind. Ahh. Ready. (PHONE RINGS) "Grandsboro High School." (COUGHS) Eve Tingle here. Mrs Tingle, what can I do for you? "I won't be coming in today." "I have a touch of the flu." What is it? "(COUGHING)" I hope you're better real soon. (COUGHS) It might be a few days. I'll keep you posted. "Take as much time as you need." The important thing is your health. Call if you need anything. Bye now. "Bye." Done! That woman hasn't been sick in... I don't think she's ever been sick. Do you think it's serious? I hope so. Good morning. I hear you had quite an evening. Let me get this off. So, how are you this morning, Mrs Tingle? We need to talk. We need to discuss what happened to get our stories straight. We've taken care of everything. You're out sick due to flu. You should rest. Let your head heal and think about what you've done. Luke, Jo Lynn and I, are fully aware that our behaviour was out of line. But we're truly sorry and we've learned from our mistake. That should be enough for you. You've done your job. We'd appreciate it if we could put this whole thing behind us. Do we have an understanding? Oh, Leigh Ann, you present yourself with such self-assured tenacity. But your fear is showing around the edges. You can do better. We're trying. Work with us. OK. Time for plan B. And what would that be? What's the matter, Mrs Tingle? Are you getting a little scared yourself? Scared? Oh, no, dear. Things are just starting to get fun. What's plan B? What's plan B? Jo, watch Tingle. I'll go to school and I'll be back with plan B. Make sure she eats and then gag her. Don't let her mess with your head. Don't let her mess with your head. Don't worry! The sow is mine. I'll be back right after school. I'll be back right after school. Luke, you wanna hang with me today? I should probably hit school. We don't want to look obvious. I'll give you a ride. Come on. OK. # "Misery" - The Moffatts (SHOUTING) (SCREAMING) (BELL) Class, I'll be filling in for a few days while Mrs Tingle is out sick. (APPLAUSE) Yes, Trudie. Will Mrs Tingle be OK? Oh, yeah, it's just a bug. < Deadly bug, I hope. (SIGHS) Oh, God. I am bored. Bored, bored, bored. I can't believe you don't have a TV. It's like not having toilet paper. I could be at home watching Sally Jesse, or Oprah, or Jerry. Where else are you going to see "Man has Sex Change to Become Lesbian?" You think about that. Forget it. Hey, you. Where'd you come from? Hi. You're such a good little boy. What's your name? What's your...? Hey! All right. Oh, God, I'm bored. (GROANS) (GROWLS) (MIMICS REGAN FROM THE EXORCIST) (GROANS) (GASPS) What a lovely day for an exorcism. (WHIMPERS) (GASPS) (SCREAMS) The sow is mine! Screw you! Ah! (BONES CRACKING) Nimi, why you do this to me? Why? Take me! Take me! Take me! Repeat it! Take me! Take me! Repeat it! Nimi, why? Why? Take me! (SCREAMS) (GROANS) You really should get a TV. INDICATOR CLICKS RHYTHMICALLY (GASPS) SILENCE (EXHALES SLOWLY) Mate, I'm so sorry. I thought there was time. You just pulled out. I don't have time to stop. It was a simple mistake. LOUD RUMBLING Please. (VOICE TREMBLES) I've got my boy in the back. I'm going too fast. I'm sorry. (SOBS) SEAT BELT CLICKS EERIE CREAKING HARSH WHOOSHING # "Alibi" - Duncan Sheik Study hard, Leigh Ann. Plan B? Unless we're able to convince the court that we're the victims, we're looking at criminal assault and conspiracy to cover up a crime. She drove us to drastic measures. We shot her and held her captive. We've bypassed drastic measures. I'm sorry, Leigh Ann. Look, it's not your fault. I mean, it is, but that's irrelevant. What if I had a way to convince her? OK. Let's see. Let's get this thing off of you. There we go. Now, no biting. OK. Swim, swim, swallow. Thank you. You could have avoided this whole headache. Leigh Ann's not a cheater. Such a loyal friend. Tell me, don't you ever tire of playing second banana to Little Miss Perfection? Hey, I'm nobody's banana. I have star quality. Then how come Leigh Ann snagged the leading man? What? You mean Luke? Mm-hm. Look, Leigh Ann can't stand Luke. She thinks he's a loser. Oh. Miss Jordan, as an actress, you really must learn to read between the lines. She'd never play me. I'm her best friend and she knows I'm in to him. Betrayal hurts, Miss Jordan. I'd prepare that little heart of yours, if I were you. Leigh Ann. Mr Churner. What's her gag doing off? How was school? You're on the wrong side of glib. Should I be afraid? Quivering in fear? Tell me the appropriate reaction. I'll work on it. Any thoughts on plan B? Downstairs. What do you think? Blackmail? Dirty pictures. I'll get into bed with Tingle. Scandalous. I love it. Do you think it'll work? Yes. No. It is wicked. And wrong and immoral and - So is she. You've always done the right thing, the best it's gotten you is No.2. Listen to that little voice inside of your head. Listen to it this time for all of our sakes. We're not gonna hurt her. We're gonna present her with options. This isn't the way to get to college! You just need to think of this as if you're an actress playing a role. If you commit to the part and you believe it'll work, it'll work. Just this once, Leigh. For your future. All of ours. I don't even have a future. But I know I don't want to go to jail. Think about your mother. This would kill her. If we're gonna go down, we might as well make it count. OK. Operation Scandal under way. We need a plan. We need supplies, and a naked high-school student. Sorry, but the camera doesn't lie. A bottle of wine and I'll be fine. All right. I'll go and get a camera. Luke, you're in charge of feeding the devil. And, Leigh... "..Senior prophecy - Everything is gonna work out OK. I promise." "I'll be back in a few hours with a camera." "OK, I'll go grab some burgers." # "Wonderland" - Kendall Payne # Hey, Alice # Are you completely satisfied with # Wonderland and all its wonder? # Cos if you're not # You know I've # Heard that they're handing out # A money back guarantee # At the door # Going blind # To the pain # Going deaf # To the sight # Going dumb to the cry # Of the innocent life # I didn't know what you liked, so it's plain. But I have these packets. Want ketchup on your fries? You're very good at this. I suspect you've had practice. Huh? Do you clean up after your drunken father when he passes out? You go straight for the jugular every time, don't you? May I have some wine? Hmm. Cabernet. Rich and full-bodied. A rather bold selection, Luke. That's the first time you've called me Luke. What happened to Churner? Keep in mind when this is a police report, you have the least to lose. I don't care what happens. Oh, of course. Your concern begins and ends with Leigh Ann. Don't worry, Luke. She's attracted to you. I can tell. No, she's repulsed by me. Come on, Luke. You've gotten one or two cheerleaders drunk in your time. You know a thing or two about women. Cleopatra rebuked Antony simply because she desired him. It's different. Leigh Ann and I had our moment and it passed. Tell me about it. In 10th grade there was this party where Leigh Ann and I kinda hooked up once. The keyword being once. I blew it. She was uncomfortable at the party. A little social dysfunction as a result of studying too much. She was hiding out in the bathroom. I kept her company and we had our own party. Sounds incredibly Zhivago. The next day she acted like I was diseased. I guess the guilt set in. I never had another chance. It was over before it began. I wasn't part of her master plan. She's been wild on me ever since. Is she done yet? Jo Lynn's back. Enter Ophelia. Erm... Yeah, pretty much. Places, everyone. The plot is about to thicken. I opted for the disposable. I thought I'd keep this blocking simple. I'll keep you there, straps and all. Going for a whole bondage theme. And, Luke, my man, drop 'em. Are you sure you wanna do this? Yeah. (CREAKING NOISE) What was that? Shit! Who is it? Coach Wenchell. Why's he here? Gag her. Give it up, Leigh Ann. It's over. Shut up! Are the doors locked? Are the doors locked? Yeah. (DOORBELL) What do we do now? (KNOCK ON DOOR) Nothing. He's going away. That was close. Shit! Eve? Hello? Eve? Hello? (GASPS) Oh my God! (GROWLS) IMITATES MRS TINGLE: Stop! Don't come any closer. (MUFFLED SHOUTS) You don't sound too good. How are you? What's she doing? I'm not well. But it's me, Spanky. What are you doing here, Spanky? I miss my Chilli Mama. Shh! Shh! (SCREAMS) (BARKS) (COUGHS) What's going on? (COUGHS) Please, Spanky, you have to go! I need my rest. (MUFFLED SHOUTS) (COUGHS) (BARKS) (GRUNTING / GROANING) (BARKS) Please! You're upsetting the dog! I want my pompoms. OK, just go downstairs, Spanky. I'll be right down. (Yes!) # I made it through the wilderness > # Somehow I made it through # Didn't know how lost I was # Till I found you # (GROANING) No. No. Pretty. Perfect. Scarf. This is fabulous. Perfume. Wine. # I've been sad and blue # But you made me... # ..feel # What the...? Shh! # You made... # Me feel # Oh-oh. IMITATING MRS TINGLE: Close your eyes. IMITATING MRS TINGLE: Close your eyes. (SNIFFS) (CHUCKLES) Hey... Oh, OK. Remember last time? That thing you did with the thing. Oh, yeah. OK. Here. Relax. Sit down, Spanky. Sit down, Spanky. All right. This is gonna be good. I love your smell. Now drink up, Spanky. You're gonna need it. Are you trying to get me drunk? Because I gotta tell you, I have a very high tolerance for alcohol. (THUNDER) # I'm in the mood for love # Simply because...# I like it when you touch me. I like it when you kiss me. And when you... ..blow in my ear. And of course... ..when you spank me. Nu-uh. Ah. Most of all... ..I love it when you touch me just like that. Have another drink. So, Evie, when are we gonna kick off? Spanky, one more drink. Just a few more sips, Spanky. Spanky! Let go. Ow! Ow! Let go. Ow! Let go! Just a few more minutes and I'll... Spanky! (GROANS) Man, that was weird. This has gotten outta hand! I kept asking myself, "What was Mrs Tingle doing in the gym?" Scandalous. It's a small town. Infidelity's a big deal. These pictures will be a hit at the parish where his wife sings. The Coach and I will deny it. No one's gonna believe you. We'll have pictures. Fraudulent pictures! The great thing about scandal is that it doesn't rely upon facts. Just look at the current climate. Facts are no longer relevant. Scream, but the damage will be done. I love it. You are full of surprises. If you weren't such a bitch, I'd like you. You're gonna burn for this! I'll see to it! Threats, Mrs Tingle, are a sign of weakness. (BARKS) Shh! Come here. Shut him up! (BARKING) # Like a virgin # OK, he's coming to. Hurry. Where's the camera? OK, just sit. There you go. Sit. Don't do this, Leigh Ann. You're gonna ruin this man's life. The way you planned to ruin mine? Stop it! Stop! Quick. Let's get this over with. Let me see more of the Coach's face. Right there. Perfect. Jo, you stay with Tingle. Why do I always have to stay? You stay. Would you cooperate, please? Come on! Is there something going on here? What are you talking about?! We've got to go. We'll be back as soon as we can. All right, we'll get him to the truck. You grab his bike. d Hurry up. Grab his legs. You get his legs. I'll get his bike. Come on, let's get out of here. Mrs Tingle, you've been holding out on us. You have got some nice stuff. I mean, some good shit. Come on, it wasn't that bad. Just a couple of pictures. Nobody ever has to see 'em. O, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Yes. What's your dog's name? Hmm? What's your name? It's not Romeo, is it? Oh, come here. You could never play Juliet. You haven't the commitment, the soul. Well, there's the Tingle we all know and love, huh? You've never had a broken heart. At least I have a heart. Tell me, Mrs Tingle, what's the deal with you and Coach Wenchell any way? Is it just a physical thing, or do you love him? Coach Wenchell and I have an understanding. How romantic. But tell me, do you love him, or are you just spank buddies? I'm fond of Coach Wenchell. (SIGHS) Have you ever loved anyone, Mrs Tingle? I mean, you are a Mrs. So whatever happened to Mr? You scoring alimony or what? He left. When? What happened? You have to tell me. Scoop, please. I too planned on leaving Grandsboro. Like you, I thirsted for more than this town could offer. Then I met Richard. Absolutely strapping man. Blue eyes, wide shoulders. He was dangerous. Reckless. Everything I thought I always wanted. After a brief romance, we married. He was my world. Such a brilliant and desirable man. But, eventually, his nature caught up with him. And his eyes began to wander towards a friend of mine. Oh, no. A girl much prettier, more delicate than I. Someone who I never dreamed would be a threat to me. She was my best friend. That's why I was devastated to discover that she was sleeping with Richard right under my nose. My best friend! Who I trusted with all my heart. Lying to me, betraying me, stealing the only man I've ever loved. While I played the poor, pitiful little sidekick. You're lying. Am I? There's nothing going on. Luke's not into Leigh Ann. Luke's a man, Jo Lynn. He'll always pursue that which is unobtainable. It's in his nature. No. They've been seeing each other since 10th grade. Even I know the story. It started at a party where Leigh Ann hid in the... Bathroom. Ah, you were there. Leigh Ann is my friend. Under this roof, Jo Lynn, I'd say I'm the closet thing you have to a friend. It's not true. You're not too quick, Jo Lynn. You might just make it as an actress, after all. # "Fall at Your Feet" - Radford # I'm down # And I've been # Staring at myself # And I know # I'd throw it all away... # We pick them up tomorrow after three. Hey, it's almost over. We're this close to getting an A for the rest of our lives. It's all gonna be OK. # If I seem too weak # If I seem too old # Far too soon # If you sow you reap # All that we believed # I'll figure it out somehow # Jo? Where is she? Where is she? I think she's upstairs. I'll go check on her. Jo? Jo? Where's Jo Lynn? She went home. Home? Something about being sick and tired of being your little lapdog. What did you say to her? Nothing... ..much. Tell me - "Hello?" Hi, Mrs Jordan, may I speak to Jo Lynn, please? "She told me to tell you she wasn't home." "I hope you work it out tomorrow." I'm sure we will. Thank you, Mrs Jordan. Good night. "Bye, dear." Your move. Why are you like this? Why are you so bitter and angry? Why do you want to destroy me? I don't want to destroy you, I want to teach you. That is bullshit! You hide behind your degree, but the reality is that you're jealous of every student you teach. You never got out of this town, did you? You went to high school here, you teach here and you'll die here. You resent anyone who has a future, anyone who'll leave and have a life. No. I resent what you're gonna do with that life. The selfish, mindless pursuits of your generation will bring us closer to destruction. I despise it! That is not good enough. If you're disillusioned with the youth of today, blame yourself! Always the Salem witch, completely innocent, wrongly accused. Ironic, isn't it? You still don't know what it means. Metaphoric, yes. Symbolic, maybe. But there's no irony involved. Would you please look that word up? I am onto you. You're over. You're trying to take as many people with you as you can, but I am not scared of you. Who do you think you're fooling? You're so scared I can smell it. Your fear is the most predictable thing about you. You've lived your whole life in fear. Terrified of making a mistake, sacred to death you won't get an A. That scholarship, that ticket out. Afraid you will never escape your mother and her name tag, or your father who won't talk to you. That's why you've shunned Luke. And every other boy who's ever tried to lay his hands on you. You're afraid of getting a bad seed. Afraid of giving birth to a child you never wanted. A child you could only blame for your own wretched existence. Stuck in a small town, with a small life, destined to become the thing you despise most. I know all about it. I wrote the book! I know you. Hey. I found Tingle's grade book. What's wrong with you? # "Show me" - Bree Sharp # Solitary girl # I have been # Living in a cell # Made of skin # Sealed inside myself # Nothing gets out or gets in # Oh, God. I wanted this. I dreamt about this. Exactly this. Don't ruin it. # Show me # The way to my heart # Show me # The way # Show me # The way to my heart # Show me # Show me # Show me # The way to my heart # Show me # The way # Show me # The way to my heart, baby # < (PANTING / GROANING) Wow! Mrs Tingle's grade book. It has all the history grades. What did you get? I know. I got a C. We can fix that. No, I can't. You have your teacher tied to a bed. Yes, you can. No. Trudie Tucker got an A. She'll still be valedictorian. Then we'll change her grade, too. No, it's not right. What's right any more? I'm gonna burn in hell for this. It'll be a party. # "If I Fall" - Tara MacLean # It seems so far to go # It took so long... # What do you think happened to Jo? I'll find out. I'll be back right after school, and I'll pick up the pictures. Yeah, OK. Listen, about last night - It was a one-time animal thing brought about by a masochistic situation. And it was a lot of fun. Yeah, it was. # And if I fall # I will find a way back to my hands # I'm the only one # Who can help me find my feet again # Josephine was just a little slutbag whore who was leaving her panties all over town. Napoleon was a short little asshole who was off killing people cos they were taller than he was, while Josephine was home... (Brian.) Napoleon had no idea. The poor guy was clueless. He was conquering countries as fast as he could to get back to her. Cos he loved the hussy. That's all. Mrs Tingle gave me her grade book so I have your grades. I'm gonna post 'em on the back. (BELL) Jo? Jo? Jo, wait up! A what? A "B"?! Miss Banks! Yes, Trudie. There must be some mistake. I got a B. I got it out of the grade book. Does this look like a B to you? Well, I... "Well, I" what? I don't know! I've never gotten a B in my life! I'm an A-student! OK, Trudie, just calm down. This isn't a B! This is an A plus. It's an A plus! Trudie, stop that now! A "B"? I don't think so. Move! f (WHISTLES) Argh! Leigh Ann! There you are. I've been looking for you. It's about your history grade. Mrs Tingle's grade book was stolen. What?! It turned up in Miss Gold's office. Your grade was altered. That's impossible! I spoke to Mrs Tingle. You talked to Mrs Tingle? Yeah. Leigh Ann! Jo? We need to talk. Did you call here and pretend to be Tingle? Did you? Did I what? Speak to Miss Banks? What?! What Tingle said - Tell me you didn't sleep with Luke. Tell me you didn't sleep with Luke. Did Tingle say something? Wrong answer, Leigh Ann. Yes. I did sleep with him. Jo, I... I'm so sorry. I didn't... I didn't think that... I knew, but... I just listened to that little voice like you said. You pretend to be innocent, but in reality you'll do anything to win. You're a Tingle in sheep's clothing. I think Tingle's free, and I need your help. Take your passive-agreement shit and go manipulate Luke. I'm tired. Luke! Luke? Luke? Mrs Tingle? Sh... Luke! Luke! Luke! (BANGING) < Mr Potter, please. Yes, it's about the grade book. Good afternoon, Miss Watson. Mrs Tingle, how long have you been on the loose? Catch up, Leigh Ann, we're way past that. Why haven't you called the police? I just called Mr Potter. He's on his way. I caught a student cheating and she and her lover stormed my house and tried to attack me. No, I won't go along with that. No, I won't go along with that. I think you will. You won't kill me. Oh, no. What I have planned for you is a fate worse than death. You'll wear that name tag so well. That's all you care about, isn't it? You just want to see me fail. It's your destiny. Haven't you learnt by now that history always repeats itself? No. I won't go along with that. I won't do it. < Yes, you will. I'll be Tingle's alibi. I'll tell how you orchestrated it all. I've got the pictures. The blackmail table turns. I'm not going down with you, Leigh Ann. You can ruin your life, but you are not gonna ruin mine. I thought you were my friend. Your move. Don't tell me I can't act! You won't shoot me. No? No. Run! Luke! Leigh! Leigh! Argh! Leave her alone! OK, Miss Watson. Leave her alone! (SCREAMS) Is she dead? (GROWLS) (SCREAMS) (WHIMPERS) Trudie! My God! Ohh! You killed her, Mrs Tingle. I didn't mean to. Shit! Oh, good lord! What happened? Holy shit! Tell him what happened, Mrs Tingle. Tell him you shot her. Yes, I shot her. I didn't mean to. I thought it was you. I don't know what I was thinking. I... I just wanted you... to learn. No. You wanted me to fail. Yes. Yes, I wanted you to fail. Now she's dead and I've killed her. A "B"! (ALL GASP) I don't think so. (SIGHS) Well, not exactly. You knew? Cool. Well, I'm calling the police. Mrs Tingle, I've wanted to say this to you for 20 years, you're fired. Now, that's ironic. Well done, Miss Watson. Now, it's with great pleasure that I introduce this year's recipient of the Award of Excellence Scholarship - Leigh Ann Watson. (APPLAUSE) # When you're high # I'm down on you # When you're gone # I'm around for you # What you need # I've heard it all before # And, true, it's the same thing # You can say forever # We both know that it won't change a thing # I guess I tried to love you # But sometimes it's better when some things stay the same # Girls like you, I'd like to # But I guess I don't # I owe it to me... IMS Subtitles CLAIRE LEANNE TURNER # Just spend the weekend on our own # Just spend the weekend on our own # Trying to get it right # When you're high # I'm down on you # When you're gone # I'm around for you # What you need # I've heard it all before # And, true, it's the same thing # There's just a better view # It's just the same thing # There's just a better view # # "At Seventeen" - Tara MacLean # I learned the truth at 17 # Love was meant for beauty queens # And high-school girls with clear-skin smiles # Who married young and then retired # The valentines I never knew # The Friday night charades of youth # Were spent on one more beautiful # At 17 I learned the truth # It was long ago and far away # The world was younger than today # And the dreams were all they gave for free # To ugly-ducking girls like me # We all play the game and when we're dead # Cheat ourselves # At solitaire # Inventing lovers on the phone # Repenting other lives unknown # They call and say come dance with me # And they murmur vague obscenities # At ugly girls like me # At 17... # Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2003