Supertext Subtitles Copyright 1997 Australian Caption Centre www.auscap.com.au www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. TVNZ Captioning 1999. 1 1 MAN: I still remember it as if it were yesterday. That cold and frosty November morning when Master Richie came into the world. I have a son! (People exclaim happily) Whee! Ha-ha! And I, Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury... (clears throat)... born in the tradition of service, was to become his gentleman's gentleman. Or as you Americans would say, his butler. Richie Rich was the long-awaited first child of Richard and Regina Rich. And at seven pounds, six ounces, was immediately proclaimed the wealthiest baby in the world. Truly, Master Richie was born into a life of great wealth and privilege. And yet, he was assuredly his parents' most valued treasure. Do boo-be-do. Oh! Can you say 'Wall Street'? (Speaks baby talk) 'Wall Street'. Can you say 'blue chip'? Can you say 'convertible debenture'? From the day he left his cradle, I undertook to show him all that was good in life. And I am delighted to report that never was there a child with a sweeter disposition. Or a more spirited sense of play. Although his father, the senior Richard Rich, spent countless hours in his office overseeing his vast business empire... Rich Industries to buy about 100 million acres. ..he still found time to share simple pleasures with his son. Thank you, Cadbury. (Slurps) Well, go ahead and build it anyway. As he grew, Master Richie developed a keen interest in sports. Just a minute. Great toss, son! He had everything a boy could want. Although at the age of three, his driving skills left something to be desired. HORN TOOTS We'll have to have our Arab friends understand that. Just a minute. Nice throw, slugger. With baseball, however, he displayed a quite precocious talent... For Saudi Arabia next Tuesday. Right. ..which, as the years progressed... ..became more than just a favourite pastime. Oh! Not bad! Let's try this time. Get the back elbow up. That's right. Keep the bat here, shoulder square. Level swing. Keep your eye on the baseball. OK, pitch. Put some heat on it this time. THWACK! That's it! Nice hit, Richie. Ow! Sorry, Charles. Good clubbing, Master Richie. You're scoring loads of points. They're called runs, Cadbury. Runs. Of course. But I'm afraid we must run, sir. Can I have one more inning? That isn't possible. Thank you, Mr Jackson. You're welcome, Richie. Any time. All right, everybody. Pack it all up. In addition to his life of fun and games, of luxury and privilege, Master Richie was obliged to undertake responsibilities far beyond those of any normal child. MAN: It's a great day for celebration and a great day for United Tool. We'll wait for Mr Rich because he said he'd be here. Today marks a miracle of sorts here at United Tool. This factory, once bankrupt and 600 jobs about to disappear forever, is now celebrating a new lease on life - thanks to billionaire businessman and philanthropist Richard Rich. And it looks like Richard Rich will be arriving here in moments. WHISTLING AND CHEERING Hi! My dad couldn't make it so he sent me. I'm Richie. Come on. Let me through. Welcome to United Tool, Richie. I'm David Walter, the plant manager. This is Diane Cuszinski, our union rep. Diane's gonna be making our presentation today. We're glad you could come. Me too. This is Cadbury. Master Richie's valet. Valet? Never met one of your type. That doesn't altogether surprise me, madam. CHEERING Richie who? What planet you been livin' on? Richie Rich, the richest kid in the world. ALL: Whoa! And now, our union rep, Diane Cuszinski, will make our presentation. Look, Gloria. Your mom's gonna make a speech. Who cares about speeches? Let's play some ball! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Fellow workers... Gloria, let's go! Come on, guys. Let's play. ..it's the whole town. And on this special morning, the first day of retooling that's gonna bring our jobs back... all right! Hit it! (Clears throat) ..to accept the gold-plated socket wrench set for his dad. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you, Richie. APPLAUSE CHEERING ERUPTS On behalf of my dad, thanks for the wrenches. I know my dad loves socket wrenches. I know I love socket wrenches. And if my mom knew what a socket wrench was, I'm sure she'd love it too. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Um... I'd like to stay, but I've gotta do my homework. It's been real. Thank you, Richie. Join me in giving Richie a big United Tool 'Thank you'! I hope you're hungry. We've got plenty of wieners on the grill. Get your partners for the games. Plenty of prizes. You're gonna win one. You are! It's a great day for United Tool. So stick around and enjoy it. We've got plenty to do - games, contests. Lots of things for the kids... This area is not secure, sir. Please return to the helicopter immediately. But I just... I said... Don't touch him! Master Richie, we have a very busy afternoon, so we must be on our way. It's my job to protect him! Very well, Mr Ferguson, but grab him like that again and YOU will need protection. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Poor kid! What are you talking about? He's the richest kid in the world! You don't have children, do you, Dave? CHILD: Hey, it's taking off! Man, it must be cool to have everything. Come on, guys. Let's play! Play ball! Let's go! It was then that Richie realised there was something missing in his life. Something simple. Something money could not buy. CADBURY ON PHONE: Yes, Mrs Rich. We're flying over the estate now. We'll be arriving shortly. Out. Oh, I'm sure he'll be very happy to hear the news. Master Rich, your father is home from his business trip. Great! Master Richie. Hello, James. Hobbs. Welcome home, sir. DOG BARKS Dollar! Come here! Come here! What you doin'? What's going on, huh? Where's Mom and Dad? (Dollar barks) Mount Richmore? Hmm. I said we needed a family portrait, Regina, but this? Well, it was Rafaella's idea. She's the artist. I didn't want to stifle her creativity. Oh, honey, I'm all for the arts. But don't you think it's just a tad pretentious? Our faces 100 feet high? What till Geraldo gets a hold of this. Richard, love, you're overreacting. How was it done so fast? I've only been gone a week. Professor Keenbean invented some proton particle maximiser. Something like that. It seems to do the job. My cheeks are too puffy. I know, Regina. I've put on a few pounds. But you must admit, I do look puffy up there. (Dollar barks) Dad! Hey, slugger! Great to see ya! Oh, how ya doing, big fella? How was it at United Tool? Great! They gave you a gift. They did? Socket wrenches, sir. Socket wrenches. Son, I love a good socket wrench. While I was there, there were these kids playing baseball. Baseball! Great! Yeah, and so... Excuse me, sir, it's a telephone call - the President. What country? This one, sir. Oh, he probably needs another loan. This won't take long. I'll be right back. Mom, I was wondering, if it's OK with you, can I invite some kids over? Of course, dear. A dinner party! Just tell me who and when and we'll send out the invitations. Not a party, Mom. Just something... Informal. all right then. More like a buffet! We can use the Oak Room - it's large enough to accommodate your school friends. My school friends - they're always so busy. I don't want to bother them. Excuse me, Master Richie. It's time for your chemistry lesson with Professor Keenbean. Do I have to? A schedule's like a house of cards. Take one away and they all tumble down. Latin... Mom? I'm afraid so, Richie. ..calculus. Well, then where are we? Here in the basement of Rich Manor, you stockholders are looking at the 21st century's answer to the waste management problem. Hi! Professor Keenbean here, with Rich Industries' latest breakthrough - the subatomic molecular reorganiser. Useless garbage is broken down into its basic molecular components, then recombined to form a range of useful new items - from bedpans to bowling balls. Hey, need a new bedpan? I know I do! It's quick. It's easy. And in no time at all... ..we've taken 50 pounds of yesterday's garbage and transformed it into a beautiful new bed...bowling ball. There's one. Twins! And what family doesn't need a spare? Oh! Oh! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! THUD! Ow! Still not working, is it, Professor? Still not working, is it, Professor? Still a few kinks need ironing out, but not to worry. You ready for your chemistry tutorial? I'm not in the mood, Professor. What else are you working on? (Chuckles mischievously) This will really fry your circuits, Richie. I don't mean to play favourites, but I'm STUCK on this one. It's a new adhesive. 10 times stickier than the strongest adhesive known to man. I call it Cementia. Wait till you see what's over here. Help me! Help me! Captions were made possible MYSTERIOUS MUSIC TELEPHONE BEEPS Pronto. Lui a pensato quella guancia gonfier portare a fare una liposuction? Liposuction! Si! Va bene! Hey, Paula, listen up! Suck in your cheeks! Bad news, I'm afraid, honey. Don't tell me you're flying out again? Tonight after dinner. Sorry. You just arrived! We should be spending time together. How do you put up with me? Well, you do have 70 billion dollars. Is that the only reason? No. You also have a cute butt. Oh, Cadbury, did you hear that? Indeed, sir. Madam admires your butt. I'm most delighted for you. Ah! Now this makes any fabric instantly impervious. Dirt-proof, stain-proof, waterproof. And... Sherman! It pulled the hair off the back of my head! Fire in the hold! ALARM RINGS Ouch! Ooh-hoo! And bulletproof. It's not perfect. It's hell on the dry-cleaning bill. No kidding. Nice grouping, Sherman! What's this, a bee? Nope. That's a paperweight. THIS is a bee. BUZZING A hundred bees working overtime couldn't pollinate like this baby. Behold! Robo-Bee! Here. Take it for a test flight. Handles like a dream, huh? Careful! Scientists have worked day and night developing the latest in microcircuit technology. Your afternoon tea, sir. Millions and millions of dollars have been spent on this one bee alone. CLANG! BUZZES AND SQUEAKS DRAMATIC DRUMBEAT Come here! Oh! Uh! 37-and-a-half miles of driveway - you park in the five feet with a puddle. I'm very sorry, sir. Oh, you're sorry. Well, in that case - find another job! Good evening, Mr Van Dough. It's nice to see you, sir. (Softly) I've checked their schedule. I've got the perfect time to... (Laughs) Not now, moron! We'll talk later. Thank you very much, Mr Van Dough, sir. PHONE BEEPS Hello. Richie. Are you sure you don't want to dine with us? It's OK, Mom. I really don't like that guy. That's all right, dear. Neither do I. But foie de veau is very good for you. Liver is rich in protein. It's so tasty too. 'Bye, Mom. (Dollar growls) Let's get back to what you were saying about our charitable contributions. Yes, sir. Now, I'm all in favour of charities. But your donations cost the corporation over a billion dollars a year. I think it's time we asked, "What are we getting for it?" What are we getting? Food banks, medical clinics, shelters for the homeless. Regina, it's Lawrence's job to look at the bottom line. That's why I oppose the United Tool acquisition. We should be getting rid of that dead weight - not acquiring it. I agree. That's why I AM getting rid of United Tool. Richard! All those people and their jobs! Sir! That is brilliant! I should have thought of it myself. We buy in bankruptcy, level the factory, subdivide! No. No, Lawrence. I'm keeping the factory open like I said. Then we go in, bust the unions, slash benefits, and then we sell the company. No. We give it away. We give it aw... We give it away. ABSOLUTELY! We modernise and retool. Then we give control of the factory to the workers. That's a wonderful plan! (Laughs) Mr Rich, Mr Rich! Mr Rich, I've done it! May I present the Smell Master! Keenbean, that's fantastic! Richie, come down here and try this. We have glasses to help us see better, hearing aids to help hearing, why not have something to help us smell better? We do, dear. It's called Chanel. (Laughs) Ah! The Smell Master 9000 converts any smell within 20 yards into a digital audio signal. Here, son. Try it! (Smell Master beeps) Wine. Petite Sirah. 1974. (Laughs) Roses. Hilversum. Demi-blue. Fresh-cut. Cool! That's marvellous! Foie de veau. Calves' liver. Richie! Better make some adjustments, Dad. This thing's way out of whack. Can I be excused? Thank you. Come on, Dollar. (Softly) Traitor! Sir, this is precisely the sort of thing I'm talking about. Toys, like that. Toys?! Good God, man! To you it's a toy but to me it's good old-fashioned American ingenuity and know-how. Right, Keenbean? (Muffled) Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Mm-hm. (Richard and Regina laugh) You've bought a new Monet. Mm. Spectacular. Ah, thanks. Might I suggest you consider beefing up the security system? I don't think that's necessary. All of our real valuables are locked in the Rich family vault. The vault. The family vault. Mmm. Some day I'll give you a tour. I'd like that. Well, once again, thank you for a lovely evening. It is our great pleasure. Goodnight. Goodnight. Drive carefully. Seat belt! Good morning, Charles. Good morning, Billy. (Puffs and pants) (Breathlessly) I gotta get another job! Ah! BELL TINKLES (Groans) Oh! (Bugler plays 'Reveille') (Dollar whines) Good morning, sir. It's time. Rise and shine, Master Richie. Let's not be a slug-a-bed. You have a very busy schedule in front of you. Oh, what a beautiful morning! Come along, sir. You mustn't keep your personal trainer waiting. Please tell Arnold I really don't feel like exercising today. (Clears throat) I hope you don't mind but Arnold cancelled. So I'll be filling in today. My name is Claudia. YIKES! And arms to sides. Bend your legs. Stretch and all the way up. And one more time. Down and back up. Now, stretch to the left, to the right. One more time. Cadbury, about Arnold... Arnold's history, sir. Now, all the way back down. Stretch real hard and up. And inhale and exhale. (Cadbury whistles a tune) Dad-Link on. Locate Dad. Hiya, slugger. Locating Dad now. Exact coordinates will be pinpointed in 11 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4... Mr President, if the government spends more money than it receives, it goes into debt. Mm. BEEPING Excuse me, Mr President. It's the Dad-Link. Dad-Link? Yes. It's my personal communication system to my son. It's a prototype. Yes, Richie. Hi, Dad. What are you doing? I'm discussing economic policy with the President. Is this something important? Well, Dad, I think I'm getting a zit. What do you think? Could we talk about this later? Oh. Sure, Dad. I'm sorry. I'll see you tonight. 'Bye. See ya! 'Bye. Congratulations on the zit, sir. Thank you, Cadbury. And I'll collect you after school, as usual. Good hunting, sir. Thank you, Cadbury. Let's move on to Case Study Number 12. Your company is in dire straits. Sales are down 50% due to stiff price competition. Dividends are falling. Your stockholders are demanding you step down as Chairman of the Board. Now, here's your problem. How do you rally the board of directors to your side AND stave off impending bankruptcy? Reynolds. I'll have my secretary get back to you on that one. Ellsworth, how would YOU get the board on your side? Bribe someone. Sit down, Ellsworth. Reginald, what would YOU do? What would I do? Simple. I'd float a rumour that we're the object of a takeover bid. As soon as our stock went up, I'd sell. That's not only unethical, Reginald, it's illegal. I'm only 12. I can't be held legally responsible. Mm, good point. BEEPING SOUND (Laughs) Rich, are you and Cuthbert passing notes again? Um,... no, sir. Cuthbert? (Boys chuckle) 1 Of course, capital appreciation is all well and good, but not without a sound growth strategy. I've got only one word to say to you ` porkbellies. So, what do YOU think, Rich? I think all we talk about is money. We should be having fun. Money IS fun. All I'm saying is, can you guys come over this weekend? You know, hang out. 'Hang out'? Yeah, like NORMAL kids. You're really acting weird, Richie. Anyway, no can do. I promised my dad I'd go to Tokyo with him for a hostile takeover. Ellsworth? Ooh, sorry. Trustees meeting. Ow! Watch your rear, Ellsworth! First rule of defence. This is a cappuccino. I asked for a decaf caffe latte, you incompetent imbecile! If you can't do the job... Ugh! Uhh! (Others laugh) First rule of defence, Reg ` always watch your rear. (Guffaws) Ooh! (All laugh) CADBURY: Sir, your Latin tutorial has been moved back an hour, giving you time for polo, then your tax law seminar. And this coming weekend ` big treat. You and your parents are flying to London to take tea with Her Majesty. (Sighs) Is something amiss, sir? First my friends are too busy to hang out. Now I'M too busy to hang out with me. It's beastly but you are being groomed for a life of great wealth and responsibility. Certain sacrifices must be made. Sacrifices? Cadbury, I'm changing my schedule. Bascombe. Sir? Make a right. Yes, sir. You...you... Come on, pitcher! You're supposed to HIT the ball! Go ahead, strike him out! Wow! Cool car! Hey, guys! Check it out! Master Richie, please! You can't play with those children. I must protest in the strongest terms. Cadbury, chill. I'll be fine. But...but they probably haven't even been vaccinated. Hi, guys. I'm Richie. We know who you are. What? No chopper? (All chuckle) Dad hardly ever lets me take the helicopter to school. Oh, no chopper to go to school in! (All laugh) What are you doing HERE? Maybe I can play with you guys. ALL: Play? (All discuss) ALL: OK, all right. ALL: NOT! Come on, let me hit. You probably couldn't hit a beach ball. You probably couldn't hit a beach ball. I could hit it off YOU. ALL: Whoooo! You think you're so hot. Put your money where your mouth is. You mean bet? Yeah. Five says she puts you away. Five? How about 10? OK. Seems a little steep but... $10,000 it is. No, not 10 THOUSAND. $10. Oh, $10. OK. We could go to McDonald's with this money! Dust him. No problem. Mr Fancy Pants over there's going down. Master Richie, I do think it unseemly in the extreme for you to take these... these CHILDREN'S money. What are you doin'? Asking the old guy for batting tips? Hit a touchdown, Master Richie. Come on, Gloria. Right over the plate. Strike him out, Gloria! Come on, Gloria! Come on, Gloria! What about earning some money? Come on! Strike him out! How about it, Gloria? Fire it in there! (Kids laugh) (Gloria laughs) Good job! The money's in the bank! Let's go! Come on! (All shout encouragement) (Spits) Burn it in! Come on, Gloria! CADBURY: Hah! Yes, Master Richie! SMASH! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Man! That was my lunch money! Lucky swing, I guess. Listen, maybe you guys can come over to my house... Pee Wee, give him the money. I don't want your money. I said take it. You don't belong here. MELANCHOLY MUSIC Truly a prodigious blow, Master Richie. OMINOUS MUSIC Thank you. Oh, perk up, son. Won't be long now before you're having tea and crumpets with the Queen. I'd prefer a hot dog at Wrigley Field. So would I, son. So would I. Oh, Richard! You're not seriously considering giving the Queen a Smell Master for her birthday? Why not, Regina? She'll get a kick out of it. Anything to take her mind off her children. (Laughs) Security check's complete, sir. I hope you and your family have a great time. Thank you, Mr Ferguson. Thank you. Cadbury. Madam? What's bothering Richie? He, er...he tried to make friends with some children yesterday. It wasn't a great success. Oh. The poor dear. Might I make a suggestion, madam? Anything. Anything. Why not let Master Richie stay here for the weekend? Young gentlemen are apt to find royal functions a trifle boring, whereas here, I could provide a busy schedule of distractions. Cadbury, you're a genius! I'll go tell Richie. SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC AEROPLANE MOTORS DRONE All aboard. CHILDREN: Man! It's huge! Have they got a pool? Wow! Man! It ain't no house! It's a whole hood! Whoa! Nah, I've seen bigger. Are you kidding? It's probably got its own zipcode. (Laughs) Excuse me, Master Richie. Sensing you were at something of a loose end, I have arranged for a little entertainment. I'm not in the mood for the Vienna Boys' Choir today, Cadbury. Sadly, the Choir was unavailable, sir. But I did make OTHER arrangements. I don't believe it! Thanks, Cadbury. I owe you one. Hi, guys. Hey, rich man! Just checkin' out your crib, here. Just checkin' out your crib, here. 'Crib'? I believe that's street slang for home, sir - an idiom. Who YOU callin' an idiom? Now, if you wish, sir, luncheon is served. All right! Food! I like this place! I hope you didn't go to too much trouble. Not at all, madam. I prepared a simple, yet elegant menu - consomme, fruits de mer, poulet, pommes dauphinoise AND a bombe surprise. Oh, it sounds delicious. However, Master Richie was of the opinion that his young guests "deserve a break today". ORCHESTRAL MUSIC SURGES Yes! You have your own McDonald's?! No way! Not bad. (All exclaim in delight) I'm doing an analysis of the secret sauce. Come on, guys, get him! Hey! Get outta my way! Nice shot! I'll be right back. It's called the Dad-Link. It's practically the only way of talking to my dad. He's away a lot. My dad lives in California. If we didn't have email, I'd probably never talk to him. Give me the ball! Come on! Man, he'd like this place, though. Must be cool to have everything. You guys wanna play or what? I got an idea. Wanna try the Kidapult? The Kidapult? WHOOSHING SOUND SONG: # Hey! # Arrrhhhhhhh! # A-ha-ha! # Hey! # WHOOSH # A-ha-ha! # Whooooooo! # What I like about you You really know how to dance... # Whoooo! Whooooo! # Up, down, jump around Think about true romance... # Heyyyyyy! # That's what I like about you... # Wahhhhhhh! Unbelievable! That was great! Ah, that was nothin'. You guys wanna play...tag? ALL: Tag?! # Hey! # That's what I like about you # That's what I like about you # That's what I like about you... # "Nobilis manus topiarius habitat manus deum" - "In the gentle hand of the gardener lies the hand of God." Mmm. Are you a Sagittarius? No, madam. Pisces? No, madam. Leo? No, no, I'm a Taurus. I knew it! The Bull. Correct, madam. Look, don't call me madam, OK? I don't like the connotation. My name's Diane. Of course. Diane. Well, how about you? You got a first name? Of course. And? Herbert. Herb! No, it's Herbert! I'm not a seasoning. CHILDREN SHOUT IN DELIGHT Yeahhh! Do I detect a rising fire sign, Herbert? You, Diane, are a Capricorn. Hey! How did you know that? Yeahhhh! Whooo! Oh, yeah! Yeah! Man, this is the best day of my life! (Laughs joyfully) Me too! The day's not over yet. You mean there's MORE? Your own rollercoaster! Awesome! That is cool! My dad gave me this last Christmas. It's pretty intense. Yeah. I just ate. You always just ate! (All laugh) (Laughs) The plane oughta be about right here by now. (Chuckles) Just about time for me to move into the much bigger office. (Chuckles) MRS RICH: Roger that, Centre. Billion Dollar One, over and out. Would you take over, darling? I think I'd like some coffee. Don't go sneaking into those chocolates. They're reserved for the Queen. Regina, I'm dieting. The last thing I want is chocolate. (Rattles silverware) Where are those chocolates? Up! Up! Up! (Whistles melody) Chocolates...chocolates. (Sniffs) Smell Master! BEEPING SOUND SMELL MASTER: Handkerchiefs, hand-embroidered. Marble egg, Faberge. Trinitrotoluene. Tri... (Sniffs) Open it. Darling, this one doesn't have a tag. Do you know what it is? No, I don't. Well, the Smell Master says it's trinitrotoluene and if my memory serves me right, trinitrotoluene is the proper name for... OMINOUS MUSIC TNT! DRAMATIC MUSIC BEEPING SOUND Good God, Regina. It's a bomb! Get rid of it! WHOOSHING SOUND EXPLOSION BOOMS (Both scream) BOTH: Arghhh! ALL: Arghhh! ALL: Whoo! BOTH: Arghhh! ALL: Whoo! Richie, this is fun! Whoo! Whoo! Argh! Argh! Arghhh! Argh! CORK POPS To the new chairman of Rich Industries. Me. 1 Well, it's been a slice. Maybe I'll see you round sometime, huh? Yes. You never can tell. When you get off the embalming fluid, give me a call, Herbert. It was a great day. Oh, it was awesome! Thanks for coming over, OK? No problem. Don't forget, baseball next Wednesday. 3:30. I'll be there. Wait a minute. What about our $100? I said forget about that, Tony! What $100? The penguin-lookin' dude promised us $100 for playing with you. Gloria, I didn't know... Hey, look, nobody has to pay us anything, all right? End of story! See you later, Richie. We had a great time. Master Rich, I really am most dreadfully sorry. WOMAN: Cadbury! It was quite inexcu... Mr Cadbury! Excuse me. Master Rich... What? It's your parents. Dad-Link on! COMPUTER: Hiya, slugger! Locate Dad! Locate Dad! Locating Dad now. Signal contact negative. Power increased. Searching. Dad not found. Dad not found. Dad not found. OPERA MUSIC IN BACKGROUND Ah, Mr Van Dough, sir. Fergie. Entree. I was just thinking that AFTER I plunder the Rich family vault, I think I'd like to buy... a country somewhere. Something small, not too ostentatious. Er...Luxembourg perhaps, or maybe... (in Spanish accent) Ecuador. Ah, sir...it seems we have a slight problem. Uh...the boy... wasn't on the plane, sir. You fool! After all of my careful planning! All right. I got rid of the king and the queen. I don't think the, er...boy prince will be any problem at all. TV: The airplane has been missing over 12 hours, but despite the biggest air and sea search in US naval history, there is still no sign of billionaires Richard and Regina Rich, missing since the apparent crash of their plane. They're alive, Cadbury. I know it. And wherever they are, Master Richie, I'm sure they're together. And happy. (Turns TV off) Richard, if we ever get out of this, I'm going to soak for a week in a vat of Oil of Olay. Why haven't they found us yet? Well, probably because the locater transmitter in the plane is under a mile of water. Unless we can see a radio shack soon, we can kiss off any chance of getting my Dad-Link to work. There's only one person ruthless enough to set off a bomb on our plane. When I get my fingers... We don't know for sure. Oh, Richard, wake up and smell the seaweed. You should have fired him years ago. I've never fired anyone and I don't intend to start now. But Van Dough! I mean he's... No doubt he thought Richie was on the plane with us. SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC Regina, we have to survive. If only to warn Richie his life's in danger. Ladies and gentlemen. Before we begin, I would like us to observe a moment of silence on the tragic passing of Mr and Mrs Rich. Now...first order of business. United Tool. Closed the factory?! What do you mean?! It just happened. My mom and everyone else got fired. Gloria, I didn't know. You gotta believe me. I'm really sorry about your parents, but can't you help? I don't know if I can do this, Cadbury. Remember this - verum votris patris in tuam habis. What's that mean? It means, "You have the power of your father inside you." Kind of like, "Trust the force, Luke." Exactly, sir. Whoo, it's so hard. Sir. Mr Richard Rich Jr to see you. Miss Fairchild, I need to have those numbers done by 3:00. Yes, sir, Mr Van Dough, sir. Richie. Richie, Richie. Richie. Allow me to express my heart-felt sympathies of your loss. We all loved your mother and father very much. My parents are alive. I pray nightly that they are. I just want to let you know we're doing everything we can to coordinate the search effort. Please, have a seat. So, Richie, what have you come to see me about? Well, until my parents come back, I've taken a... Sabbatical, sir. I've taken a sabbatical from school. You know, so I can be here and run things. Run things. Um...Richie, the, uh...the job of Senior Officer of a mul... ..tinational corporation...is very, uh...demanding, and...business... ..hours go, well, just...way past your bedtime. So, I think that it's best to leave this job to... ..to an ADULT who has experience in these matters. OK? I don't think so. By the way, Cadbury, how much stock do I own? Until your parents are found, sir, as the sole heir you own 51% of the voting stock. You're not of legal age to exercise your voting rights. But I am, sir. Under the terms of the Rich Estate, I stand in loco parentis and guardian ad letum to Master Richie. AND, accordingly, I give him full proxy power and authority. And by the way, United Tool stays open. Fine. Round one to you, sir. Oh. EXCITING, JOYFUL MUSIC With the losses in our manufacturing division, this will necessitate... SLURPING Sorry. ..will necessitate some employee downsizing. Downsizing? You mean fire people? Well, call it what you will...Richie. It is our job to cut the fat. Mr Van Dough, my father never fired anybody. He always said that when people are secure in their jobs, they work harder, they work happier, they work better. If we need to cut the fat, I say we start right here. MURMURING Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Your messages. Good morning, Sylvia. Good morning. Good morning, Mr Rich. Good morning. Yeah, Marvin, I understand that. Yes, but all I want to know is if all of the divisions are doing record-breaking business, how come Rich candy bars are down 12%? Oh, come on. Have you ever actually tasted a Rich Bar? (Dollar barks) He'll get back to you as soon as possible, Mr Iococca. Goodbye. Richie Rich's office. ELEVATOR DINGS Whoa! Talk about gumballs. Richie Rich's office. He's not available at the moment. I'll have him call you. Excuse me, we'd like to see Richie. And you are? Hey, they're free! We're his friends. We want to thank him for re-opening the factory. Mr Rich is very busy at the moment. PHONE RINGS But wait... Richie Rich's office. Hey! EXCUSE ME! SOMEBODY HELP! I didn't do it! I didn't do it! Get Pee Wee. We're going in. I didn't do it! Oh! Are you all right? Richie? Gloria? Hey, guys. Close the door. I'll have to get back to you, Marvin. Yeah. My new Research and Development Team just walked in. EVERYONE: What?! And finally, after extensive and exhausting taste-testing by my new Research and Development Team... EVERYONE: (With mouths full) Hello. ..I've come to the conclusion that we at Rich Candies must increase our nut proportion by 15%. We simply cannot let our competition be nuttier than we are. ENTHUSIASTIC CHATTER Good job. Oh! Your mail, sir. Come on, guys. Excuse me. Excuse me! Coming through! All those in favour of MY motion. (Slurps) All opposed. I hate that kid. No. No. Clockwise. Clockwise. I said massage clockwise. These migraines are bad enough without your incompetence. Get out! Get out! Yes, sir, Mr Van Dough. Now, you listen. I want you to put the revised plan we discussed into action. This time, make sure the gloves come off. Gloves, sir? It's a metaphor, hamhead! 1 Well, that's it, honey. We're out of Perrier, caviar's gone and there's no more Melba toast. The only thing we've got left is a bottle of Dom. And this little packet of Bubblicious, Richie's favourite. (Sighs) He's only 12 years old, Richard. He's just a boy. Now, Regina, I'm sure whatever happens, he's going to be just fine. Oh, my God! What? What is it? WE'RE SAVED! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! Saved! My Louis! Darling, my suitcase! APPLAUSE When my father gets back, I'm sure he'll be happy to see what we've done. Profits from every division have gone up on a record-breaking rise. ANGRY SHOUTING OUTSIDE ROOM FERGUSON: You've no right... This is official police business! Herbert Cadbury! Yes? You're under arrest. I beg your pardon. What is this?! Officers! You can't burst in here. What's the meaning of this? We received an anonymous tip and searched the Rich mansion. Bomb parts, detonators, in Herbert Cadbury's room. That's preposterous. You're under arrest for the murder of Richard and Regina Rich. I don't understand. Master Richie. Wait! Cadbury! Cadbury! Cadbury! Richie, the police have him now. Best stay here. Richie, is it true that Cadbury planted the bomb? Do you think your parents were deliberately murdered? How does it feel to be betrayed by your most trusted servant? Are your parents alive, Richie? Mr Van Dough! We're all deeply saddened by this tragic turn of events. Despite wanting to believe in Herbert Cadbury's innocence, the evidence points in the other direction. REPORTERS: Mr Van Dough... Of course, my main concern is that poor Richie survives this terrible episode. Having his best interests at heart, I have petitioned Superior Court to become the boy's legal guardian. REPORTERS: Mr Van Dough... That's all for right now. TV: The court has officially granted legal guardianship of Richie Rich to Lawrence Van Dough, trusted friend of the Rich family. Meanwhile, bail has been denied to accused murderer Herbert Cadbury. And believing Cadbury may have had accomplices, Mr Van Dough has dismissed all employees of the Rich family. The Southside Community Adoption Service has released figures for the last year... (Grunts) (Regina shrieks) Ah! My make-up case. Oh, my dresses. My Karl Lagerfeld. My Bill Blass. Oh, my tuxedo. Now we can throw a dinner party. Well, what do we have... Now wait a minute. Wait a minute. Here's something we CAN use. Don't you think this is an odd time to start shaving your legs? No, Regina, don't you understand? This may save us - this very thing. (Turns on shaver) Yes. Yes! (Laughs) Richard, darling, you've been too long at sea. COMPUTER: Dad not found. Dad not found. DOOR OPENS Dad not found. Dad not found. Excuse me, Richie. Er...right under that archway there. What are you doing? What's that? Security camera. For your protection. My protection?! Yeah. And, uh... until further notice, I'm afraid I can't let you leave the grounds of the estate. After what happened to your parents, we can't take any chances. What about the company? The board meetings? You won't be going to the office any more, Richie. Mr Van Dough will be running the office from now on. Nice doggy. Come on, Dollar. (Dollar barks) Right there, camera 23. That position's good. Lock it down. I don't believe this. It's like I'm a prisoner, Dollar. In my own home. (Dollar whines) I'm going to go have a talk with Mr Van Dough. Stay here. Well, sir, things have turned out just the way we planned. YOU planned, sir. Just the way YOU planned. Well, not exactly. The vault. Where is the vault?! There must be BILLIONS hidden in there. You're the head of security! Where is the vault? I told you, sir, that's one thing I was never privy to. What about the, um... rotund Professor Keenbean? He claims he doesn't know. BILLIARD BALLS CLICK And you believe him, you idiot. The man is a lying, disgusting toad. About the butler, sir, I've arranged it so that Mr Cadbury will soon be so overcome with guilt and remorse, he's going to hang himself in his cell. OMINOUS MUSIC Shh. To the lab. Cadbury? They're gonna kill him? And make it look like a suicide. We have to do something. Bust him out... HA! Here it is! What is it? This baby here is the ULTIMATE corrosive. DON'T TOUCH IT! I call it hydrochloricdioxanuclearcarbonium. The name needs work. But it'll eat through a Buick. Or... Prison bars. Exactly. Welcome to your worst nightmare. Ah. Gin. (Screams) Sorry. MAN: I don't need the money tomorrow, I need it today. You don't understand. She's my mother. Excuse me, sir. What do you want? Well, what do you want?! I want you to give this to my...uncle. Well, who's your uncle? Well, who's your uncle? Herbert Cadbury. Well, who's your uncle? Herbert Cadbury. Cadbury, huh? Let me see this. What's this? What's this? It's Latin. What's this? It's Latin. Latino. Huh. Thought he was English. What's this? What's this? Very special toothpaste. He has really sensitive teeth. Hmm. All right. You've got 10 minutes to do whatever. Thank you. Get to it. Oh! (Whistles) SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC (Cracks knuckles) I'm getting out of here. Thank heavens. My teeth were starting to grow fur. Oh. Talk about extra strength tartar control. "Servo vitam! Statum..." um-da-dum... .."Life in danger!" "Statum unque vincula pasta dentali." "Use toothpaste on bars." Life in danger?! Really! How melodramatic. DRAMATIC MUSIC HELP! OFFICER! HELP ME! HELP! SMACK! TOILET FLUSHES NEVER mess with a man with sensitive teeth. ELECTRIC GUITAR WAILS HEAVY ROCK MUSIC Cadbury? Richie! You're OK! You're OK! Oh, I've been worried sick. Oh, I, uh...do beg your pardon, sir. All that emotion. Quite out of order. Got caught up in the moment. Cadbury. Yes, sir? Shut up. Thank you, sir. Look! Oh, dear God, I'm so sorry. I hadn't heard. No, look! They only found the plane. No bodies. No life raft. Mom and Dad are alive. I know it. And the Dad-Link? We can't go back to the house. But I have another idea. Come on. Looking pretty radical in those clothes. Thank God I could hold on to my own underwear. 1 (Hums) Argh! So, Master Richie helped Cadbury escape from jail. I knew that. I know everything! EVERYTHING, do you hear?! And what I know about you will put you BOTH in jail! Really? In that case, I'm afraid that...we'll have to kill you. Well, I-I-I don't know that much. What do I know? And who'd believe me? There is one thing you do know... which will be very helpful to me. Well, you can FORGET IT! I'm NOT helping you! NOTHING you can do can make me talk, do you HEAR?! NOTHING! Good morning, madam. Good morning, madam. Oh, oh. Cadbury, come on. This is it right here. (Buzzes doorbell) WINDOW OPENS Hello? Gloria, it's me. Richie? Whoa. Look who's slummin'. Gloria, I need to use your computer. It's important. Come on in. (laughs) (Sighs) Well, here goes. DAD-LINK BEEPS SICKLY SILENCE Oh, no. Wait a...wait a minute. What are you doing? This... Oh, my. Wait. Wait. DAD-LINK BEEPS STEADILY It's working?! Let's just hope the power holds out. Let's hope that Richie hasn't given up the search. Richie?! Of course he won't! I'm going to go get changed. Changed? Yes, of course, darling. If I'm going to be rescued, there's no way I'm being rescued looking like this. (Laughs) Yow! Just a few more seconds and I should be in. I like this look on you. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were normal. Thanks, I think. No, I mean it. I mean, I used to think you were just some spoiled rich kid. But now, you're not so bad. Yeah. Likewise. No. No, please, madam. Madam, no. No! NO! THAT REALLY ISN'T...! Ahh. Thank you, madam. I told you, don't call me madam. Oh, forgive me. Diane. Richie did it! He's in! MODEM BEEPS COMPUTER: Hiya, slugger. Signal contact. What the heck? Power increase. Mike. Get me Ferguson. AARGH! OW! (Chokes) Come on, Professor. Play nice. You think I'm enjoying this? (Choking) Yes! Right. Anyway... Professor, you told me what this machine could do to a person. How'd you like to spend your life as a bedpan? You've got to believe me. I DON'T KNOW where the vault is! Even if I did, it wouldn't help you! Ferguson! Wait. Tell me why, Professor. Because the lock is voice-activated, and only Mr and Mrs Rich can open it. Yes, well, unfortunately, Mr and Mrs Rich have been detained... ..permanently. You'll have to come up with another way for me to get into that vault! Yes, but... PHONE RINGS What?! What? Ah, sir, I have a situation. Ah, sir, I have a situation. Handle it. I'm sorry. Hungry, Professor? You're despicable. You're despicable. Enjoy. COMPUTER: Locating Dad now. Dad found. They're alive! I knew it! Exact coordinates will be pinpointed. 11 seconds. EVERYONE: 10... Oh, my God. They're alive. Oh, my God. They're alive. ..nine... ..eight...seven... ..si...! Access terminated? I've been cut off! I can't get through! They must've pulled the modem. Your parents are alive, sir! It proves they're alive. I have to get to the Dad-Link. Mr Van Dough, sir. Dad found. I think we've found a way into that vault after all. Dad found. (Laughs) Come on. Let's go. Wait. We'll be right down. Master Richie, are you entirely convinced this is a good idea? If anything goes wrong... The Dad-Link in my room is our only chance. I'm going. Master Richie, please consider... Well, I'm wanted for attempted murder, escaping from jail, blowing up an aircraft. Breaking and entering sounds right up my alley. Let's kick some butt, shall we? Let's. (Mr and Mrs Rich giggle) Well, that's that! It's all up to Richie now. Oh! Then everything is fine! Richie never lets us down. No. He never would. Wait a minute, darling. Do you hear that? AEROPLANE ENGINE DRONES Yes. Yes, it is! It's a plane! Oh, my God! Richard, we're saved! Oh, Richie! Heroic boy! Hello! Lovely son! Hello! TENSE MILITARY MUSIC If anyone wants to turn back, now's the time. No way. We're with you, Richie. ALL: Let's go! MACHINE-GUN FIRE ON TV TELEPHONE RINGS Yes. The package has arrived. Splendid. ELECTRICAL ENGINE WHINES Wait for my signal. MISCHIEVOUS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC (Sniffs) Good grief! Manure? Hey, it's all we could find. Yeah. Very well. Load. All right. I'm in position. Are you guys all set? (Sniffs) Eminently. I've got a target. Ready. Wait for it. Wait for it. Fire! BLEEP! WHOOSH! WHOOSH! You missed. Reload! Reload! (Sniffs) (Gasps and groans) NASH ON TWO-WAY: This is Nash. Nash, I didn't hear that. This is Nash. Fire two! BLEEP! WHOOSH! Somebody's throwing... (Screams) Yes! (All cheer) Come back, Nash? Say again? What did you hit him with? Don't ask. MAN ON TWO-WAY: Nash? Nash? (Whispers) Talk! Talk! Come in, Nash! (Uses thick cowboy accent) Yeah. This is Nash. False alarm. Everything's slicker than snot on a doorknob. (Scoffs) Well, I...I heard it in prison. Roger that. I think those Twinkies are starting to rot his brain. (Cackles) Spoils of war, man. ADVENTUROUS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC ELECTRONIC BEEPING (Grunts) (Hollers) RICHIE: Flashlight. (Gags) Keenbean, are you OK? Richie! You wouldn't believe what they did to me. It was inhuman. No! Where's Van Dough? He got a phone call and he ran out of here.. He's not a nice person. Listen. Cadbury and me have to get to my room. We'll need a diversion to distract the guards. I'll whip up something. Gloria, go with him. OK. Let's do it. Come on, Gloria. Go, go, go. BUBBLING Ah! This should do the trick. SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC Hey, this is it. Come on! TV: Me with my own wife and dozens of children? This way. On the left! Give that a couple of turns to the right. What are we doing? (Cackles) Well, what they need is a diversion. This is a combination of laundry detergent, dishwashing detergent and bubble bath. Take that off. I call it 'Sudsational'. What in the...? Bubbles? (Laughs) What the heck? (Boys exclaim) Hey, you guys. We have a problem with the front fountain. Then turn it off, you idiot! Then turn it off, you idiot! You heard the man. Go! Kill the cameras now! MEN ON TV MAKE FUNNY NOISES COMICAL MUSIC BOOMS FROM TVs You guys go ahead. I'll be just a second! OK. My inventions! MAN: What is it? MAN: I don't know. We did it, Mom. They're in there. All right, Richie, Herbert - you're on your own. SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC Cadbury, look. It's still working. Wait a minute. This isn't right. It says Dad's right here. VAN DOUGH: Welcome home, Richie. You were even quicker than I thought. (Muffled yelling) Mom! Dad! Our other guests should be arriving...any moment. (Sniffs) Hey, man, are you nervous or something? What are you talking about? Did you fart? No. Man, you cut the cheese. Whoever smelt it, dealt it. Whoever denied it, supplied it. (Sniffs) What is that? GUN COCKS I don't know. OMINOUS MUSIC Sir... ..got 'em. Outstanding. Bring 'em in. Oh, Richie! I was so worried about you. Thank you, Cadbury. Why are you doing all this? Yes, Lawrence. What are you after? The vault, Richard. The Rich family vault. That's what this is about? Yes, yes - the vault. Where is it? Oh! There. Where? Out there! Mount Richmore! Your vault is an entire mountain? Well, I... You really are filthy rich, aren't you? Richard, you're taking me to that vault right now. Just to make sure, I'll have Mr Ferguson watch Master Richie until we get back. No! Don't hurt Richie! Shh-shh-shh-shh. If you two cooperate, I promise... no one will get hurt. I'll be OK, Mom. (Sobs) Shall we? 1 I will not be held responsible, if that greedy weasel steals my inventions, if they fall into the wrong hands. Robo-Bee! BEEPING AND ELECTRICAL WHINING My little pretty! FERGUSON: Let's go! Let's go! Oh! Ooh! Come on, move! After all this family's done for you! I won't win 'Employee of the Month' after all. Oh, very funny! Keep moving. Move! Yes, sir. RICHIE: All right, all right! Let's go! Let's go! Hey, watch it! CADBURY: Mind your step. (Gasps) All right, everybody in. No! What are you talking about? I'm not going in there. Everybody in! Sure, whatever you say! St Peter on a popsicle stick! He's going to scramble their molecules! Oh, don't panic. Don't panic. Keenbean will think of something. What?! What are you going to think of? Oh! We're going! Careful, down there. Let's go! Let's go! All right, watch your heads. (Chuckles evilly) What a jerk. Now, let's see if this thing works! (Kids holler and yell) Hey! SQUELCH! I'm stuck! It's the fat man. (Grunts) Keenbean! Keenbean! Keenbean. He's here. Keenbean! Ooh-hoo! Nice try, Professor. But you'll have to do better than that! Let's play a little game... ..with your little friends, eh? (Giggles hysterically) Ignition! HISSING (All scream and holler) Yeah! Arggh! 30 more seconds and you won't recognise your little friends! (Screams and fires gun) (Fires gun repeatedly) Don't worry, Richie! I've got it covered! Save us, Professor! (Groans) Oh, no! Somebody get us out! I can't reach the machines. No! Ugh! BLEEP! Help! Fly, my little beauty. Fly like you've never flown before! BUZZ! Arrrrgggggggghhhhhh! MACHINERY SWITCHES OFF (Buzzes and giggles) Eureka! Careful. Careful, Richie. Thank you, Professor. Yes. Master Richie! I've got to get to Mom and Dad. No, wait! OMINOUS MUSIC (Sings cheerful melody) ELEVATOR DINGS (Chuckles) Oh, yes. Oh! Look at that. Finally. All right. Now, open it. Hello, vault. VAULT: Hiya, boss! Please state the code for voice check. Open it now. Open it. (Sings) # Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money # Maybe we're ragged and funny # But we'll travel along singing our song # Side by side! # Code accepted. Thank you, Beavis and Butthead. (Chuckles) (Gasps) (Pants) (Chuckles) This is incredible. This is amazing. This is...this is... ..this is junk! Junk? Bronze dog bones! What? Accordions! Baby pictures. Tricycles. Kites! Bowling trophies! Do you remember that, darling? Do you remember that, darling? Oh, our first date. What is all of this crap? These are our priceless possessions. Where are the gold bars? The, er...diamonds? The negotiable bearer bonds? The money? Where is the money? In banks - where else? And the stock market, real estate... No! Is this some kind of joke? Are you telling me there's not one single solitary gold bar or emerald or $1,000 bill in this entire mountain?! Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lawrence, but that's not what we treasure. Shoot them. Shoot them now, please. (Cocks gun) RICHIE: What's the matter, Mr Van Dough? Can't do it yourself? Richie, get out of here! It's OK, Mom. He hasn't the guts to shoot anyone. Richie, no! Generally, you're right, but on this occasion, I think I'll make an exception. (Squeals) Cool. Arggh! You're a dead man! Arggh! Oooh! Let's get out of here. Lock him in, Dad. Good idea, son. Close, vault. Closing vault now. Have a nice day. This way! (Gasps) Oh! Up the ramp. Quick. MRS RICH: Oh, my God! It's all right, honey. Don't look down. It's all right, son. (Whimpers) Don't look down, Regina! I won't, darling. Richard! Nooooo! Down, down! Everybody, down! He's going to kill us! I know, dear. MACHINE BEEPS CLUNK! POWER HUMS AND WHINES FERGUSON: I've got you now! Yeah! ZAP! (Mrs Rich screams) MR RICH: Stay down! Quick! Up we go! (Yells) Not me, you imbecile! Them! Uh-oh. Beg your pardon. That wasn't so difficult. Ahhh! MRS RICH: Richard, I'm afraid! MR RICH: You're the bravest woman I've ever known. Up you go. Cut the crap and stop pushing! CLICK! (All gasp) Shit! CREAKING Arrrggghhh! Oh... Ugh! (Grunts) SQUELCH! (Screams) ELEVATOR DINGS All right. Come on, Richie! Come on! Oh, good boy, son. Good boy. Now, don't look down. POWER HUMS AND WHINES Ow! ZAP! (Screams) Hang on! Ow! ZAP! Oh, Richard! Arggh! Arggh! (Screams) No! Richard! Mom! I've got you. Grab my hand! I got her! Oh! Don't let go of me! All right, we won't let you go. Now, Regina, we won't let you go, dear. Oh, no. Hang on, Mom. I'm going to swing you into my mouth. In your mouth?! In my mouth! It's large enough. (Softly) Kill. Ready. One... (Screams) I can't hold her! Two... Hurry, she's slipping! Once more. Three! (Screams) RELIEVED MUSIC Shit! Are you OK? I made it! All right, you're next. Ow! Give me that! (Gasps) VOICE: Danger. Overload. POWER WHINES Danger. Overload. ZAP! Oh my God! My nose! I look like Michael Jackson! Mom! Oh! Oh, Richie! Grab my hand. YAHHHH! Danger. Overload. (Roars) Forgive me, madam. Where are they? Oh, thank God! Not so fast. ZAP! Arrrrrggggghhhhh! (Screams) (Whimpers) Please. Forgive me! Please, please, help me! Oh! Oh, my God! Help! Help! Dad, I know how you feel about firing people, but... Yes, son. In this case we can make an exception. Mr Van Dough, you're fired! Fine, I'm fired! Fine, I'm fired! THUMP! BIRDS CHIRP Well done, Master Richie! Well done! (Yells) Cadbury! Everything all right? Yes, madam! In a manner of speaking. (Chuckles) (Gloria yells) Go get 'em, Richie! (Gloria yells) Go get 'em, Richie! (Boy yells) Come on, Richie! You can do it! Come on, Richie. Come on! Kill that ball! Come on! This guy can't pitch! All right! Knock it out the back! EXCITING MUSIC BUILDS Jeez! (All cheer) TRIUMPHANT MUSIC Well done! That's the ticket! Good hit, huh? Shut up. Aren't you going to throw it back? Hey, screw. Fetch. Not bad, coach. Not bad, coach. Oh, you're not so bad yourself, madam. Don't call me madam! (Chuckles) Richie, you're all right! Likewise. TRIUMPHANT MUSIC CONTINUES I must say, Regina, now our son really is the richest boy in the world. He has friends. CLANG!