ACTION MUSIC 1 (Asks name of guest in German) Monsieur Brunair. FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH IN SNOW SECURITY GUARDS CALL OUT TO EACH OTHER SCUBA GEAR HISSES FLAME HISSES CLANK HISS OF AIRLOCK RELEASING Honey, I'm home. Roger that. Copy at the boathouse. Right on time. Faisil, get your butt in here. Harry's inside. Yeah, yeah. I'm coming, I'm coming. (Shivers) Hey, were you born in a barn? Whorehouse. Uh-huh, all right. You've got a fur-covered razorblade there. And a bunch of guys with guns. I'm switching to sub-vocal now. Check, check. Check...check. It's talk radio. You're on the air. (Clicks switch) That guard nearest to you is moving away. He's at the service door. He's inside. BLUE DANUBE PLAYS IN BACKGROUND Excusez-moi? Monsieur? (Speaks French) WALTZ MUSIC SWELLS Have you seen Khaled yet? Yep. There he is. How come billionaires are always short? Colonel. How are you? It's so good to see you again. (Unsure) It's been a long time. Terrific. Who was that guy? Could you hold this for a second? Thanks. OK, you should be crossing the main foyer, heading for the stairs. Mmm-hmm. OK, keep movin', keep movin'. I'm in the library and I'm heading out to the second floor balcony. Hey, Franz, give me a cigarette. (Growls) COMPUTER BEEPS SOFTLY Modem in place. Transmitting...now. Affirmatory. It's a good hook-up. These are encrypted files, guys. It'll take me a few minutes. (Furious typing) Yeah, I got your password. (Speaks Arabic) (Answers urgently) Magnificent, isn't it? Yes, quite. I thought I knew most of Khaled's friends but I don't believe we've met. We haven't met. I certainly would remember. Renquist. Harry Renquist. Juno Skinner. Juno Skinner, Juno Skinner. Come on, come on. Arts and antiquities dealer. Specialising in Ancient Persia. This is Persian, if I'm not mistaken. Very good. Sixth century BC to be exact. Do you like the period? I adore it. DRAMATIC MUSIC Alarm! Alarm! At the boathouse! Harry, we got a problem. Guards are going ape shit down there. I acquired them for Jamal. Do you tango? Mmm...oh! Tango. Harry...Harry...you do not have time to tango, buddy. You copy? INTENSE TANGO MUSIC (Gasps) (Gasps) Harry, don't stop and smell the roses. You hear me? You gotta get out of there. BEEPING Yes! Files are unlocked. Fast Faisil strikes again. I'm down, baby. I got my hand up her dress and I am going for it! Just copy the goddamn files! SEDUCTIVE TANGO CONTINUES (Delighted laugh) Wow, and I thought this was just going to be another bunch of boring bankers and oil billionaires. Harry, seconds count, buddy. Ditch the bitch. Unfortunately, I have to leave. I have a plane to catch. (Disappointed) Oh. Well...call me sometime. My offices are in Rome. I would like that. Sonofabitch is with her two minutes and she's ready to bear his kids. What's your exit strategy? I'm going to walk right out the front gate. Ballsy. Stupid, but ballsy. (Questions in German) Sir? May I see your invitation, please? Sure. Here's my invitation. (Beeps button) MASSIVE EXPLOSION Oh, shit. Here we go. Slight change in plans. GUARDS SHOUT (Snarling) THUD Stay. (Whimpering) MACHINE-GUN FIRE We're en route to the lower rendezvous point. I repeat, back-up rendezvous point. Watch it, watch it! It's called ice and it gets a little slick. BURSTS OF MACHINE-GUN FIRE Harry, do you copy? Whoa! I got it. Shit. Whoops. BOOM Oh my God. Whoa, I got it, I got it, I got it. There he is! Shit! Hi, guys. Oh, yeah, that worked good. Right out the old front gate. Can you lean back a second? Let's go. We can still make our flight. TYRES SQUEAL JET ROARS All right, that's it for Mr Renquist. OK, go. All right, we got Harry Tasker billfold, Harry Tasker passport. Ticket stub. Hotel bill, Tasker. I've got two postcards here from Geneva. I've got some house keys right there AND I've got a souvenir Swiss snowing village. What's that for? It's for Dana, stoop. You know, bring your kid a gift. The dad thing. Nice touch. All right, pick me up tomorrow at 8. Will do. The debriefing is at 1000. Mmm-hmm. See you at 8. OK. Hey, Harry. Did you forget something? Oh, what a team. All right, sleep fast, buddy. (light snores) (Groggy) Hi, honey. How was your flight? It was fine. (Sighs) I brought you a little gift from Switzerland. A snowy village. Wow. Thanks, Dad. I've never had one of these. You're welcome. Hey, you're late for school. You'd better get going. Don't forget to feed Gizmo. OK. It's pretty lame. I'm late. Yeah, me, too. How did it go at the convention? Did you make all the other salesmen jealous? Oh, it was fantastic. You wouldn't believe it. We were the big hit of the show. With that new model ordering system ` the 680 I told you about, I can write up an order and as soon as the customer's name comes up you see what his credit line is, what he has ordered in the past, what discount he gets. Every little detail. Sounds great. It's fantastic. That's why I love the computer business. Listen, the plumber called. Says he has to dig under the slab or something that's going to cost $600. Mmm, that's OK. It's not OK ` it's extortion. So, what did you tell him? I slept with him and he said he'd knock off $100. So, what did you tell him? I slept with him and he said he'd knock off $100. That's good thinking. Bye, honey. Hello. BIKE ROARS Dana. (Honks horn) ROCK MUSIC PLAYS FROM HEADPHONES Boy, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon. Morning. Go to school. I am. Thanks, dear. Check these out. Check 'em out. Where's the image coming from? A CCD camera and a transmitter in a pack of smokes out there. Pretty cool, huh? Mmm-hmm. What the hell? Bye, Dad. Was she... Dana! She's ripping you off. Dana! I knew it. Dana! Let's go. I can't stop, I'm late. Bye, Dad. God. Shit. CAR HORNS HONK Kids ` 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery. I got married three times, but at least I was never dumb enough to have any. She shouldn't steal. I taught her better. Well, you two aren't her parents any more. Her parents are Axl Rose and Madonna. The five minutes a day you spend with her can't compete with that. You're outgunned, Daddy-o. It's not just because you're a bad parent. Kids today are 10 years ahead of us at the same age. Morning. Morning. Bet you think she's still a virgin. Don't be stupid. She's only...what is she? She's 14, Harry. She's only 14. And her hormones are going crazy. It's even money the guy on the bike is bonking her. Oh, not Dana. Not Dana? Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt, Harry. She probably stole the money to pay for an abortion. Why don't you open the door? Or drugs. 20 here, 50 there. I figured my wife's scumbag boyfriend was taking it. He takes everything else. There's never a beer in the fridge. I thought you moved out. I moved back. My lawyer said I'd have a better shot at getting the house. Don't change the subject. You owe me $200. Morning, Janice. Gentlemen, please identify yourselves to the scanner. Harry Tasker, 10024. Albert Gibson, 34991. MILITARY MUSIC (Taps on desk) All right, Francis, I don't believe we need you any longer, thank you. Sweet Jesus, Harry. You surely screwed the pooch last night, didn't you? Please tell me how I can see this as anything but a total disaster. Well, total is a strong word. Yeah, there are different degrees of totality. It's a scale, really. With a perfect mission on one end and a pooch screw on the other. We're more in this area. Faisil, you're new on Harry's team, aren't you? Yes. So what makes you think the slack I cut him in any way translates to you? L-Let me show you what we got. Jamal Khaled. We think he's dirty, so we raid his private financial files. 100 million in wire transfers from the Commerce Bank International. Which we all know finances terrorist activities. We think something big is going on. A week ago four warheads were smuggled out of the former Soviet republic, Kazakhstan. We think Khaled bought the nukes and wants to bring them to US soil. So far, this is not blowing my skirt up, gentlemen. Don't you have anything remotely substantial, Harry? Do you have any hard data? Well, nothing you'd call rock hard. Actually, it's pretty limp. Then you'd better get some. Before somebody parks a car in front of the White House with a nuclear weapon in the trunk! I mean, it's not like he's saving the world or anything. He's a sales rep, for Christ's sake. Whenever I can't sleep, I ask him to tell me about his day. Six seconds and I'm out. He acts like he's curing cancer or something. So I guess you didn't get away for the weekend after all. No, Harry had to go out of town. I'm shocked. Yeah, well, you know Harry. What's up? Here, check this out. There's a $2 million disbursement from Khaled to Juno Skinner. That's right, the babe at the party. That doesn't mean anything. She buys antiquities for Khaled. Oh, no, no. He keeps his antique buys on a separate ledger. And it's a little over market rate for the horizontal bop. Even for a biscuit like her. All right. I want a complete work-up on her. Do we know where she is? Right here. You're kidding? She lives in Rome but she does stuff at the Smithsonian. She has diplomatic connections here. I guess it's time to send in a specialist. Care to tango? Yes, I would. Assholes. OK, it's all set up. Got fax machine, ghost phones, all the usual stuff. You have a suite at the Marquis Hotel under the name of Renquist. OK, reality check. Go. Hi, my name is Harry Renquist. I own a corporate art consulting company in San Francisco. I have an appointment with Miss Skinner. Harry. Oh, hello. Hello. I thought I'd see you again. I just didn't know it would be so soon. What's the point of waiting? I agree. So, your clients need something for the lobby of their corporate headquarters? Yes, they would like something dramatic. That's a nice piece. I talked to a number of people and they said you were the one to see. Really? Mmm-hmm. Checking on me. So, what did these people say about me exactly? Oh, they said you can read ancient Sanskrit without having to sound out the words. And other art dealers and archaeologists don't like you much. Oh. (Apologises) Those wimps. It's because I use my diplomatic contacts to export cultural treasures from countries which tell them to take a hike. (Sharp rebuke) Most of our pieces come from Ancient Persia. Unfortunately, Ancient Persia sits 20 feet under the sand of Iran, Iraq and Syria. Not the most popular places lately. So I've had to become an expert in international diplomacy. Well, Mr Renquist. Do you see anything you like? Maybe. Give me a break, Fais. I don't think they bugged my sandwich. She imports from all over the Mid East. She could be moving guns, anything. The second you left, we got calls to the ghost numbers checking out Renquist. Step up surveillance. Put on two more guys. Maurizio, I said Saturday, not Tuesday. Saturday. Va bene. Ciao. Miss Skinner, may I have a word with you, please? Sharmoota! Stupid, undisciplined bitch. It's a good thing you're paying me a lot of money. Do you realise there are surveillance teams watching this place right now? Your telephones are almost certainly tapped. And you were laughing and flirting like a whore with this Renquist. He checked out OK. We do not tolerate mistakes. What would you like me to do? Find out where this Renquist is. PHONE RINGS Tectel Systems. Mr Tasker's office. Hi, Charlene? It's Helen. Is he in? He's in a sales meeting, Mrs Tasker. Let me try him in there. Hold, please. Relay 10024. It's a patch from Tectel. It's Helen. Hello, honey. How are you? What's going on? Hi, sorry to bother you. Dana and I want to make sure you'll be home by 8, because we're going to a lot of trouble for your birthday. And we just want to make sure... ..that you would be home. Absolutely. This time you can count on me. Promise? Trust me. Great. I've got to go. Bye. Bye. That's disgusting, Dana. Calm down. Hey, we got a friend. Three cars back in the inside lane. They've been on us since we left the hotel. In the station wagon? Uh-huh. Want me to lose them? No. We need this lead. Unit seven. Seven here. We need you at Georgetown Mall. Copy that. We're rolling. Helen's going to be pissed. Well, this is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules. (Speaks Arabic) Pull over here. This is good. Testing, one, two, three. Testing. I got you. I got you. OK, they're right with us. I make three of them in the car. SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC (Coughs) Dickhead. Blow me. Harry, I got a couple of them coming after you. What do you think, I'm blind? Well, you do look like Ray Charles. So, what's the plan? I'm trying to get a closer look at Beavis and Butthead. Hey, the third one's still in the car. OK, stay on him. Hi, Helen. Yeah, it's Gib. Oh, not much. Listen, ah, Harry forgot something back at the office and... ..you know Harry. Yeah, Gib, I know Harry. Bye. See. (Unzips) (Speaks Arabic) (Whistles) Harry. Harry, I lost the third guy. SINISTER MUSIC (Zips up) GUNSHOT GUNSHOTS SHOUTS AND GRUNTS Shit. CAR HORNS HONK Hold it. Oh, shit. Hey! Argh! DING (Flushes toilet) Here. Cool off. (Ragged breaths) (Clicks handcuffs) MACHINE-GUN FIRE TILES SMASH AND CLATTER Sorry about this. Look out. Get outta the way! Hey, freeze! PING, PING, PING Oh, thank God. FRIGHTENED SCREAMS TYRES SCREECH Get to the car. Here we go. BIKE ENGINE REVS WILDLY CAR HORN BLARES Federal officer in pursuit of suspect. Sorry. Hey! HORNS BLARE Hey, Harry, which way? Westbound from the park. Suspect is on a motorcycle and is coming out on Franklin. Copy that. I want you on 14th in case he turns south. And I want seven on the north side to box him in. Make it quick because my horse is getting tired. Your horse? Ha! BIKE TYRES SQUEAL There he is. That's him! MOVE! Go around to the back. Copy that. Out of my way! Out of my way! Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. SOFT JAZZ MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUES Sorry. Open it! Excuse me. Excuse me. Out of the way! TYRES SCREECH Move, move, move, move, move! Federal officer, get down now! GUNSHOT Down now! (Screams) Hold still! Come on. Hah! HEROIC MUSIC Hold still. LIFT BELL DINGS Would you press the button for the top floor, please? Thank you. (Sobbing and screaming) Shut up! Whoa. Say something! That's a fine animal. Ooh. Right against the glass! (Revs motorcycle) All right, come on. I'm so sorry. Stay there. Don't move. (Guns engine) TYRES SQUEAL Come on, come on. (Drawn out scream) SPLASH Ha! Ya! (Frightened whinny) Oh, oh! OK. Back up. Back up. (Soft whinny) Come on, you can do it. Good horse. Yeah, yeah. Go back now. Come on. That's teamwork now. Keep pulling. Come on. A little bit more. Atta boy. OK. What the hell were you thinking? I mean, I had the guy and you let him get away. (Soft whinny) Look at me when I talk to you. What kind of a cop are you, anyway? DOOR OPENS (Yawns) Hi, honey. I know you're upset. I'm sorry. I hurried home as fast as I could. That's OK. Argh. It's OK. I'm sorry. Thank you for the party. Yeah, it was great. Huh. Hey. That's him. OK, pause it right there. Salim Abu Aziz. This guy's really hard core. Highly fanatical. The man's a real psycho. He's been linked to dozens and dozens of car bombings. Hey, you know that cafe bomb in Rome last year? That was his. As well as the 727 out of Lisbon. This guy's a major player. Now he's formed his own splinter faction called Crimson Jihad. I guess the other terrorist groups were too warm and fuzzy for him. They call him the sand spider. Why? Probably because it sounds scary. This is impressive, gentlemen. Of course, it would be even more impressive if you actually knew where he was. We'll get him. Why don't you just pull over here? What's up? Oh, I really screwed up with Helen last night. I'm just going to run in and see if she's available for lunch. Just smooth things over a bit. So you just want me to hang? Yeah, just hang. OK, buddy, I'll just be hanging. PHONE RINGS Hold, please. Helen! It's your mystery man on two. Simon? Oh my God. Hello? Simon? Yes, I can talk. You mean right now? Yes. I can meet you. OK. I can't wait. Bye. Can you cover me for an hour? Just an hour? You should tell that stud to take more time. Would you shut up? I should have never told you about him. (Laughs) Have a good time. Get a little bit for me while you're at it. Would you... (Laughs) BUS HORN BLARES Hey, hold it. Fucker. What's going on, man? You sick or something? Looks like you got gut kicked. It's Helen. It's Helen. Helen. It has something to do with Helen, I'm guessing. Helen... Helen... Hel-ennnn... Helen...(Gasps)... is having an affair. Welcome to the club, man. It can't be. (Laughs) Nobody thinks it can happen to them the first time. Exact thing happened with Wife Two, remember? I had no idea it was going on. I come home one day and the house is empty. And I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer? But Helen. Hey, listen. Helen still loves you. She just wants to bang this guy for a while, you know. It's nothing serious. You'll get used to it. Stop...cheering me up! What did you expect, Harry? Helen's a flesh and blood woman and you're never there. It was just a matter of time. You know what, I say we concentrate on work. That's what I do when my life turns to dog shit. I concentrate on work and it gets me by. Right, buddy? We'll catch some terrorists. We'll beat the crap out of them. You'll feel a hell of a lot better. All right, watch your head now. OK. All right. Ah, women. (Starts engine) Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em. THUNDER RUMBLES WINDCHIMES TINKLE (Clangs spoon loudly) I came by your office today. I was in the area and I thought that you might want to have lunch. Re...really? Well, you must have just missed me. That's what they said. They said that you had to run out or something. Oh, it was this rush job. They needed these documents down at the district courthouse. And so, of course, the big problem, our printer shut down. So I went to the third floor to use theirs but they have the 1720. And of course the disc isn't formatted for the 1720. So, I had to go back upstairs and reformat. Go back downstairs and use their printer. And by the time I got there... LOUD PULSATING ..I barely got there. It's a little excitement in an otherwise dull day. Did it work out OK? Yeah. Great. I'll check on dessert. I'm done. THUNDER RUMBLES It's great. He's practically given us a blank cheque on wire-taps. I put 'em on all of Juno's shipping agents and clients. Faisil's made a list of possible contacts Crimson Jihad may have here. So now we just have to sit around... Hey. This national security stuff boring you? Put a tap on her phone. What are you talking about? I already did. I'm talking about Helen's. Put a tap in her office and at home. Do it now! OK, just come over here for a second. I just want to ask you something. I've got two words to describe that idea. In-sane. An unauthorised wire-tap's a felony. And we're doing it 20 times a day. So don't give me that crap. Do it. COMPUTERS WHIRR HELEN: Hello? MALE: Helen, it's Simon. Is it safe to talk? Yes. Go ahead. I can't talk long. Meet me for lunch tomorrow. I must see you. I suppose so. Where? Same place. 1 o'clock. I have to go now. See you tomorrow. Remember, I need you. (Puffs) I thought that we might have lunch together tomorrow. Um, you know, darn it! I'm going to meet Alison. We're going to go shopping. Sorry. No problem. (Puffs) (Whimpers) You're going about this whole thing all wrong. You see, women like you to talk to them. Maybe you're not in touch with your feminine side. I was watching Sally Jesse... All right. I got all the usual stuff. I got a telemetry burst transmitter. I've got a GPS tracker, audio transmitter. And I've got it sewn into the lining here and... Now, hey, Harry? If you need to talk... ..speak into the purse. (Sprays) OK, here she comes. She's going to pop up right in front of us. Bingo. Yep. Looks like she's going into Chinatown. OK, she's parking. OK, give me audio. MURMUR OF CONVERSATIONS You sure you weren't followed? No, I mean, I keep looking behind me like you taught me but I didn't see anyone. It's just that things are a bit hot right now. If I get a signal, I may have to leave suddenly. I understand. DOOR OPENS Look, it's my job to take risks but not yours. I feel bad about bringing you into all this, but you're the only one I can trust. Were you out on a mission? Shh. We say Op ` covert operation. This one, well, got a little rough. Worse than Cairo? This one, well, got a little rough. Worse than Cairo? Cairo. Cairo was a day at the beach next to this. The guy's a spook. But for whom? He could be working her to get to you. Did you read the papers yesterday? Yes. Sometimes a story's a mask for a covert operation. See 'Two Men Killed in a Restroom' and 'Two Unidentified Men in a Running Shootout at the Marriott'? That was you? You see? You're very good. Me! You recognise my style. (Laughs) You're a natural at this. He's a fake! He's taking credit for our moves. What happened? Hardly worth talking about. Two of them won't bother me again. (Laughs) Unbelievable. You chased one? Something came over me. I had to nail this guy no matter what the risk. Pretty hairy. I thought he had me a few times. But I...I really can't take credit. Why not? It's the training. It shapes you into a lethal instrument. You react in a microsecond. (Laughs) I'm starting to like this guy. Oh, we've still got to kill him. I mean, that's a given. ENGINE THROBS 'MORE THAN A WOMAN' BY THE BEE GEES PLAYS # More than a woman to me # More than a woman # More than a woman to me... # (Revs engine) The guy is a goddamn used car salesman! I mean, this keeps getting better and better. I'm sorry, I know this is painful. But you have to admit, it's pretty damn funny. If it was me and not you, you'd be laughing. GLASS TINKLES One born every minute. It wants you, too. Feel it vibrate? Say, how about a little spin? Sure. See, it's not just a car, it's a total image. An identity you have to go for. This isn't some high-tech sports car. Tell you the truth, it doesn't even handle that great. But that's not the idea, is it? What are we talking about here? Pussy, right? (Fake laugh) Absolutely. (Coarse laughter) Let's face it, Harry. The 'Vette gets 'em wet. But, it's not enough. If you really want to close escrow, well, you've got to have an angle. I suppose you have an angle? well, you've got to have an angle. I suppose you have an angle? (Laughs) It's killer. I mean, look at me. I'm not that much to look at. No, no, no, I can be honest. But I got 'em lining up. And not just the skanks, either. Well, some are. So what's your angle? (Laughs) Oh, no! Sorry. Trade secret. OK, just ask yourself. What do women really want? You take these bored housewives married to the same guy for years. They're stuck in a rut, they need some release. The promise of adventure. A hint of danger. I create that for them. So, basically, you're lying your ass off the whole time. You see, I couldn't do that. What are you, a boy scout? Think of it as playing a role. It's fantasy. You work on their dreams. Get them out of their daily grind for a few hours. What about their husbands? Dickless. I mean, let's face it, if they took care of business, I'd be out of business. You know what I mean? Those idiots. TYRES SCREECH Hey! Hey, you mind keeping it under 90? I'm still trying to pay for this dental work. So, who are you working on right now? Oh, I've always got a couple on the hook, you know. There's this one right now, I've got her panting like a dog. It's great. What does she do? Some sort of legal secretary or something. You know, uptight and conservative. Oh, but she could be so hot if she wanted to be. And with you she gets to be real hot, huh? Oh, red hot! Her thighs steam. It's like a dying plant. Just needs a little water. Married to some boring jerk. Boring jerk? He doesn't appreciate her. She's like all these babes. You get their pilot lit, they could suck-start a leaf blower. (Laughs) God, she's got an incredible body. And a pair of titties. Make you want to stand up and beg for buttermilk. Ass like a 10-year-old boy. Ooh. (Raucous laughter) So, then, she must be really good in bed then? Hey, whoa, slow down. You're gonna miss the turn. TYRES SCREECH Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! See. You and this car were made for each other. Why fight it? Sure, I got some other buyers on the line. But I like your style. So, what do you say? Should we start up the paperwork? Let me think about it. Hold it for me for a day, OK? Hey, because it's you. I got today's transcripts. Ah, not much going on. Nothing from Simon? Ah, not much going on. Nothing from Simon? Um, no. TYRES SCREECH HORN BLARES My turn to drive? Give me the page. What do you mean? It jumps from 9 to 11. Where's page 10? It's gotta be a typo. Give me the goddamn page. OK. Seek help, Harry. HELEN: Hello? Helen, I need your help. Can you meet me tonight? What's happened? It's serious. Meet me on Kay Street. Under the Quay Bridge. 8 o'clock sharp. PELLET GUN POPS Gotcha. Shit. It's almost 8 o'clock. (Punches buttons) COMPUTER BEEPS She's still at the house. The purse is still at the house. Shit. Unit two, unit seven. Immediate roll. Acquire subject at Kay Street and Quay Bridge. Red and white convertible. You've got exactly six minutes. Wait a minute, man. Are you out of your mind? You can't pull agents off a priority case to follow Helen. It's a misappropriation of resources and a breach of national security! You copy, Harry? You're losing it big time. I have to stop you. What are you going to do ` tell? Goddamn it, both our butts are on the line. So your life's in the crapper. So she's banging a used car salesman. It's humiliating, I know. But, God, take it like a man. You tell on me, I tell on you. What do you mean? I'm as clean as a preacher's sheets. You once blew a six-week operation because you were busy getting a blow job. You knew about that? All right, let's take Franklin, it's quicker. Quick, get in. Hurry up, let's go. Two here. Suspect vehicle in sight. One male, one female. Don't be alarmed. If I'm spotted it'd be best if they didn't see you. You should keep your head down until we're out of the city. Here, let me help you. That's better. OK, now the woman has her head in the guy's lap. Southbound on the Quay Bridge. Two in pursuit. Roger, two. One to Condor. You got a visual? Roger, one, this is Condor. Subject is in sight. Repeat, we have the ball. We've got a pretty good lock-up on infrared. Um, oh, yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo. Maybe she's sleepy. OK, this is a safe house. My place in the city's just a little too hot right now. So is the penthouse in New York. PLASTIC CLUNKS What is it exactly you need me to do? Helen, I want you to be my wife. But I'm married! No, it's just for the operation in Paris. I need to be married. They'll be looking for a man travelling alone. Pa...Paris? You want me to go to Paris? Paris with a quick stopover in London. Helen, there's a double agent in my outfit ` I don't know who. There's no-one I can trust except you. Can you get away? Just for a couple of days. I...I just don't know. Of course, I'm rushing you. Forgive me. Sit down. Make yourself comfortable. (Nervous laugh) OK. Let me pour you some wine. (Cocks machine-gun) OK. I'll do it. I'll do it. You just saved my life. You are incredibly brave. I have to remind myself of the fear you must be feeling. You see, for me, fear's not an option. In order to pull this cover story off, we have to look like two people completely intimate with each other. The enemy can spot a fake easily. (Terrified gasp) You see what I mean? Sorry. That reaction could get us killed. I'm sorry. We can't afford that. No, I'm sorry. It's... Try to relax. It's just been a long time since... ..anybody but Harry's touched me like that. It's a little difficult. I know, I know. It's awkward for me, too. I'm sorry. That's all right. Just sit back. I'm OK. There. That's better. Just let yourself slip into the role. Mmm-hmm. MILITARY MUSIC That's it. Just let yourself go. That's great. That's it. No, I can't do this. I can't do this. What's wrong? No, I cannot do this. I cannot...DO THIS! (Ragged breaths) If not for me, do it for your country. HELICOPTER WHIRRS ELECTRICAL ZAPPING (Screams) (Screams louder) (Terrified sounds) Oh God. Don't hurt me. I'll do whatever you want. Please, I didn't do anything. CRUNCH Oh! Goddamn. (Screams) Agh! No! Take her. Take her. Oh, God. Don't hurt me. Oh, son of a bitch! Oh! (Frightened gasps) LOUD BANGING LOUD ELECTRONIC VOICE: Sit down! I said sit down. Who do you work for? Um, Stern, Kessler, Goldstein and Krupnik. I'm just a legal secretary. Sure, Mrs Tasker. What were you doing with the terrorist, Carlos the Jackal? Taking dictation? How long have you been a member of his faction? I don't know anything about a faction. I just met Simon ` or whoever you say he is ` just a couple of weeks ago. I barely know him. That's not how it looked when we found you. How did you meet him? Well...(Clears throat) Keep this for me. I can't afford to be taken with it. What?! It's a matter of national security. No. Please. It's important. I'll contact you. Shit. Why did you continue to see him? He said he needed my help. Not because you were attracted to him? No. You mean you were not attracted to him at all? No. Mmm, well, maybe just a little. Is cheating a common thing for you? No, never. You're telling me this is your first time? I wasn't cheating. Tell me about your husband, Mrs Tasker. Harry? I...what can I say about Harry? I mean, he's a sales rep for a computer company. So, sex with him isn't exactly waving your flag any more? That is none of your goddamn business. What kind of questions are these? You're in a lot of trouble. I suggest you co-operate. If we want intimate details about your life ` you better tell us. My husband is a good man. But he's not ringing your bell these days, is he? Let me handle this part. I mean, do you mind? Why did you go to Carlos' hideout? He wanted me to go to Paris with him on a mission to...pose as his wife. And you agreed? Why? I don't know. I guess I needed something. What did you need? (Sighs) I needed to feel alive. I just wanted to do something outrageous. And it felt really good... to be needed. And to be trusted. And to be special. It's just that there's so much I wanted to do with this life and it's like I haven't done any of it. And the sand's running out of the hourglass and I just wanted to be able to look back and say, SEE, I did that! I was reckless and I was wild and I fucking did it! (Sniffles) Quite frankly I don't give a shit whether you understand that or not. This Simon... did you sleep with him? No. She's lying. You mean you did not have sexual relations with him? Listen, if you're gonna ask me every question twice this is going to take a REALLY long time, and I have to get back to my family. You're not going anywhere, lady. Just let me out of here! Answer the question. Answer the question. No! I did...not...sleep...with him! Calm down, please. Do you hear me, you chickenshit bastards?! Calm down. She could be telling the truth. Calm down, Mrs Tasker. Calm down, please. I've only one more question, Mrs Tasker. What? Do you...still love your husband? Yes, I love him. I've always loved him. And I will always love him. She loves you. Now what? (Weeps) There's only one solution to your problem, Mrs Tasker. You must work for us. Oh. What are you doing? Just giving her a little assignment. You're shittin' me. She wants an adventure, so I'm going to give her one. I'm offering you a choice. If you work for us we will drop the charges and you can go back to your normal life. If not ` you will go to a federal prison. And your husband and daughter will be left alone. Your life will be destroyed. (Sarcastic) Oh, gee, hmm... let me think. Yes, or no? Of course, yes. What's involved? You will be contacted with the assignment. The codename of your contact will be Boris. And your codename will be... Natasha? No. Doris. PRICKS! (Terrified gasps) Uh-uh-uh-oh-oh-oh! You sonofabitch, did you think you could elude us forever, Carlos? Wait, you got the wrong guy. My name's Simon. Look, look, just let me go. There's no need to kill me. I haven't seen your...face! Oh, no, no, I didn't see it. I didn't see it. I'm sorry. It's you. Hey, you still interested in that 'Vette? Hey, Carlos, game's over. Your career as a terrorist is well documented. No. Oh, yeah. No, no. Oh, yeah! No, I sell cars, that's all. (Weeps) Come on, I'm not a terrorist. I'm actually a complete coward. If I ever saw a gun I'd...oh! God, oh! Please don't, don't, don't kill me. (Weeps) I'm not a spy. I'm nothing. I'm navel lint. I have to lie to women to get laid. And-and, and I don't score much. I got a little dick ` it's pathetic. TRICKLING SOUND Oh, oh, God, oh. Would a spy pee himself, huh?! Oh, God, please, I'm not worth a bullet. Have mercy, sir. Get the fuck out of here. Just beat it. Go on. No! As soon as I turn you're going to shoot me. You're going to shoot me. Please, you can have the car for free. Huh. What do you say? Get lost, dipshit. GUNSHOTS TYRES SCREECH So, last night must have been pretty exciting for you. Um, my flat tyre? Actually it was a little scary because the tow truck driver took such a long time. PHONE RINGS I'll get it. Hello? ELECTRONIC VOICE: Doris? Um... Um, yes? Listen carefully. In exactly one hour go to the Hotel Marquis. Pick up an envelope marked Doris at the front desk ` and dress sexy. What?! Hello? (French accent) No, no. Turn around. Do it. (Seductive) Do it very slowly. You've reached a new low here. You're crazy to use the suite at the Marquis. I can't afford a suite like that with MY salary. Is Jean-Claude done yet? Hang on. Who wants this shit? Harry? C'est le merde. It's going great. STEALTHY MUSIC Hi. Do you have an envelope for Doris? (Whispers) This is Doris. ELECTRONIC VOICE: Listen, you are a prostitute named Michelle. Go to the room. There will be a man there. He is a suspected arms dealer. No, wait a minute, wait. You don't expect me to, ah...you know. No. He has particular tastes and likes to watch. Tell him that his regular girl, Karla, is sick. If he likes you, he will tell you what to do. You must plant the bug near the telephone by the bed before you leave. If you do not complete your mission, the deal is off. (Whispers) I'm going to go to hell. (Exerted grunt) (Inhales deeply) DOORBELL BUZZES SOFT ROMANTIC MUSIC Hello? (French accent) Hello. (Clicks tape recorder on) Have some champagne. (Clicks tape off) Come in here. My name is Michelle. Karla thought you'd like me. Let me do the talking. (Clicks on) You may start by unzipping your dress. No, no, turn around. Do it doucement. Do it very slowly. Good. Now slip the dress down slowly. Good. (Clicks on) Now slide your nylons off. One by one. I'm not wearing any. That's good. (Clicks rapidly) Now, dance for me. No, no, no. Dance sexy. Let your hands be your lover's hands on your own skin as you move. MUSIC BECOMES SEDUCTIVE RAUNCHY ELECTRIC GUITAR SONG: # It's extreme self-pity # And frozen fear # 'Cause I want you with me # And you're not here # So I'll rub my nose in it, babe # Till the roses smell just like death # I'm all alone in the dark, now, babe, THUD # I'm all alone in the dark, now, babe, # I'm all alone and drawing whisky breath # Alone in the dark # I'm all alone in the dark # Since the day that you left # I just couldn't stand myself anyway # I'm all alone in the dark, now, babe, # I'm all alone in the dark, now, babe, # I'm all alone and drawing whisky breath # I'm all alone in the dark, now, babe... # Now, lie on the bed and close your eyes. I thought you only liked to watch. Now, lie on the bed and close your eyes. TENDER MUSIC (Sniffs) CLANG Arghhh... WHACK Ugh! You PIG! UGH!! Bastard! Ah! Helen, Helen, wait, wait, wait. Harry? Yes, it's Harry. I know it looks bad, but I can explain. LOUD SMASH (Shouts orders in Arabic) (Screams) (Shouts) Helen, just don't do anything. He has nothing to do with it! I am the one you want. Shut up. OK. Quiet, Helen. Do what they say. Come on, guys, let the hooker go. She's not important. You don't need her. Harry, please let me handle this. Shut up. What were you doing there? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Talk again ` I'll kill you. TYRES SQUEAL (Shouts in Arabic) Harry. I wish I could say it's nice to see you again, Juno. You know her? You know, this shade's totally wrong for you. So, who's your little friend? I'm Helen Tasker. Harry is my husband. And you are? Oh, so now it's Tasker, not Renquist. Mmm. She's just some whacko hooker I met down at the bar. Harry, what is the matter with you?! Just tell her the truth. We are married, we have a daughter. I don't know what the crazy bitch is on. But you should cut her loose so we can get down to business. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Well, where did I get this then? Where did I get this? (Exasperated groan) Something before takeoff? SHARP SOUND Ow! That hurt, you bi... She was telling the truth, wasn't she, Harry? She really doesn't know. SHARP SOUND How interesting. JET ROARS ROTORS WHIRR MEN SHOUT ORDERS Bring them. Incredible, aren't they? I call them the four horsemen. They're warrior figures. From the Persian empire of Darius the first. Around 500 BC. They're absolutely priceless. Pity. (Speaks Arabic) CRACKING JACKHAMMER POUNDS OMINOUS MUSIC Wait, wait. Open it. You know what this is? I know what this is. This is an espresso machine. No, no, no, it's a snow cone maker. That's what it is. Is it a water heater? Ah! Do you know why you've been brought here? So that this man can verify to the world that Crimson Jihad is now a nuclear power. But how can he do that? He's just a salesman, for Christ's sake. If I'm wrong about him, the last thing you will see will be your blood spraying across his face. (Sighs) This is a Soviet Merv 6 on an SS-22N launch vehicle. The warhead contains 14.5kg of enriched uranium with a plutonium trigger. Nominal yield is 30 kilotons. MEN SHOUT ORDERS What can I say? I'm a spy. WHACK You bastard! Lying son of a bitch! Sorry, honey. Oh, don't you call me honey. You don't ever get to call me honey again, you understand, you pig? And I can verify that they have the arming box and all the equipment necessary to detonate all four warheads. You have killed our women and our children. Bombed our cities from afar like cowards. And you dare to call us terrorists?! Now, the oppressed have been given a mighty sword with which to strike back at their enemies. SIGNAL BEEPS Unless, you, America, pulls all military forces out of the Persian Gulf area immediately and forever, Crimson Jihad will rain fire on one major US city each week until our demands are met. First, we will detonate one weapon on this uninhabited island, BEEPING SPEEDS UP as a demonstration of our power and Crimson Jihad's willingness to be humanitarian. However, if these demands are not met Crimson Jihad will rain fire on one major American city each week. Battery, Aziz. Get another one, you moron. I think I have one... Shh. ...in the truck. (Calls) Aziz. WHAT?! Look at this. That's not mine. Nice transmitter. PILOT: Miami tower, Jetstar 6479 Delta on final. We'll be there in 12 minutes. Right. Tell those DEA boys to be hot and ready to fly in 12 minutes. Signal's definitely stopped moving. It's an island in the Keys out past Marathon. CRUNCH We lost the signal. Shit! All right, everyone, this is Simir. For 50 points, see if you can guess his speciality. Oral hygiene? Not exactly. Harry, what's going on? Oh, Simir's just going to ask Harry a few questions. See, we're not even sure which agency Harry works for. Now, Simir's absolutely first class. On the other hand, we have Harry, who has managed to lie convincingly to the woman he loves for 15 years. So, it'll be interesting to see how long he can resist. This will help. You know you should swab that with alcohol? I might get an infection. I'll return when this has taken effect. Then we'll talk. I'm looking forward to it. Now, why are you helping these raving psychotics? Because they're very well funded raving psychotics. And I'm getting a lot of money. (Snorts) What, you think I care about their cause? Or yours? Not at all. You're damaged goods, lady. Did you tell her about us, Harry? There is no us, you psychopathic bitch. Oh, sure. Say that now. Thanks for everything, Harry. It wasn't bad while it lasted. (Clicks fingers) Let's go. You two stay here. There was nothing. I swear. (Distorted) What did they give you? Sodium Amytal. Or some other truth agent. That makes you tell the truth? Mmm-hmm. Is it working? Ask me questions that I normally would lie to. Are we going to die? Yep. I'd say it's working. They'll shoot us in the head or they'll torture us to death. OK. Or leave us here until the bomb blows... Harry! (Voice echoes) How long have you been a spy, Harry? 17 years. Have you ever killed anyone? Yeah, but they were all bad. MEN TALK BUSILY SINISTER MUSIC Is there anything you want to tell me before we start? Yeah. I'm going to kill you pretty soon. I see. How, exactly? First I'm going to use you as a human shield. Then I'm going to kill this guard over there, with the Patterson trocar on the table. And then I was thinking about breaking your neck. DRILL WHIRRS And what makes you think you can do all that? You know my handcuffs? Mmm. I picked them. (Gasps) SICKENING CRACK (Speaks Arabic) Let's get out of here. DISTANT VOICES ALL CHANT MACHINE-GUNS CRACKLE (Speaks Arabic) Come on. BULLETS WHINE AND RICOCHET THUMP FOOTSTEPS Harry! Drop the gun! (Squeals) Honey, next time ` duck. Let's go. I married Rambo. CACOPHANY OF GUNSHOTS (Speaks Arabic) What are they doing? TIMER BEEPS Uh-oh. It is done. (Speaks Arabic) (Translates) In 90 minutes a pillar of holy fire will light the skies. To show to the world that we speak the truth. We are set on our course. No force can stop us now. We're cool, we're bad asses, blah, blah, blah, blah. If we're on an island, why are they using trucks? We must be in the Florida Keys. The highway connects all the islands to the mainland. There's no borders, no customs. They can go anywhere in the US. There's nothing to stop them. Just us. Here, take this. Oh, shit. CRACK GRISLY CRUNCH LOUD EXPLOSION MACHINE-GUN FIRE SHOOT! Ooh! Shit! (Terrified) Errghhhh! (Gasping) (Talks urgently) SICKLY CRUNCH Shit. PUMP WHIRRS FLAMES ROAR AGONISED SCREAMING LARGE EXPLOSION Shit. THUNDEROUS BLAST FLAMES ROAR Yes! GRIM MUSIC TRIUMPHANT CALLS Let's go. Oh, my condolences to the widow. GUNSHOT We may need the hostage. OK, let's go, Suzy Homemaker. (Gasps) Hurry up, you idiot. Just get her in the car and get going. CLIMACTIC MUSIC PEOPLE CHATTER, DANCE MUSIC PULSATES They've been on the sauce. PEOPLE CHATTER, DANCE MUSIC PULSATES They've been on the sauce. Your party! DANCE MUSIC PULSATES They've been on the sauce. Your party! That's Mary's boy, isn't it? Yeah. Maybe you should say something. Yeah. Maybe you should say something. Nah. I'm crap at that kind of thing, Barry. Yeah, but they're just kids. If we don't say something... (GROANS) Hey, boys? Boys? Why don't you get a lift home tonight? Oh, whatever, mate. I've only had a couple. No, no, no, no. It's too late now. I've spoken to you and I know your mum, so that means our fates are aligned. You get into that car and you get yourself killed or you kill someone else, I become part of it too. How? yourself killed or you kill someone else, I become part of it too. How? Well, it's like, um, my balls are in your hands. BOYS LAUGH, SNORT BOY: Oh, you want the balls! BOYS LAUGH, SNORT BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? What? Oh. BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? What? Oh. BOYS LAUGH, DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? (SWITCHES RADIO STATION) BOYS LAUGH, DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? (SWITCHES RADIO STATION) YODELLING MUSIC PLAYS DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO BOY: Oh, you want the balls! Nobody wants that. Hey, how about I drive you? I like it. I thought this looked like your work. Let's go, I'll brief you in the air. You're welcome. Let's go! Let's get out of here! Come on. Let's go. Come on! Well, you tell that son of a bitch this is a Bright Boy alert. I repeat, a Bright Boy alert. This is not a drill. Do you understand that? All right, hold on. Put me through to the White House. No, the minimum safe distance is 12 miles. Get the marine patrol. I want the coast guard and sheriff's department. Anyone who cannot make that distance you have to get out by air. You've got 34 minutes. Wait one. I can get you two Marine Corps Harriers in 11 minutes. They're on manoeuvres near Key West. Get them. I'll brief them on the way. Send 'em in. Would you like one? JETS ROAR I want police driving through the streets with loudspeakers. Hey, here they come. JETS ROAR PILOT: 901, got a tally on three trucks. Eastbound on the bridge. Roger, 901, you're clear to engage. Ringo's padlocked. In hot with guns. Let's get some. DRAMATIC MUSIC BURST OF FIRE FROM JETS (Panicked shout) RAPID FIRE LOUD BLAST (Revs truck) CONFUSED SHOUTING (Yells warning) THUD DULL THUDDING MISSILE WHISTLES PAST MEN ALL ARGUE Marines, it's time to kick ass. Recommend using mavericks to take out the bridge. Roger that. Climb flight, switch mavericks. Two. The missiles won't set off the nukes? Negative. That's a negative, 901. Fire. RUSHING SOUND SERIES OF SHARP BLASTS RUBBLE TINKLES Bingo! Good shooting, marines. BRAKES SQUEAL Arggh! MEN SHOUT (Relieved laugh) MEN ROAR WITH LAUGHTER CREAKING Argh! CRUNCHING AND GLASS SHATTERING Hello? (Speaks urgent Arabic) (Shouts) GUN GOES OFF (Both grunt) GUNSHOT CAR ACCELERATES WILDLY Argh. GUNSHOTS TYRES SCREECH It's out of control. Somebody capped the driver. (Exerted grunts) Bitch! TYRES SCREECH Ugh. METAL SHEARS Sharmoota! Ugh. THUD (Chokes for breath) (Wails) THUD Like one?! CRUNCH How 'bout two? CAR CRUNCHES INTO RAILING FLAMES CRACKLE SCREECHING Get down to the limo. Come on, take it down! Let's go. Get down! Take it down. All right. Harry?! JOYFUL MUSIC HARRY! The bridge is out! What? The bridge is out!! I can't hear you. What?! DRAMATIC MUSIC Oh, God! The bridge is out! THE BRIDGE IS OUT, HARRY! Harry, come on. Come on. Speed up a little bit now. Get down there. Come on. Hurry. Hurry, Harry. I can't reach you. TYRES SCREECH Come back, Harry! To the right. Come on. I can't reach you. Lower. OK! Hold on tight. (Squeals) Harry! Harry! Oh! Come back. Pull up, pull up, pull up. Grab my hand. You can do it. Try it. I can't reach! Oh, God, Harry, please. HARRY! Oh, shit! Come on, baby. (Long squeal) LOUD SPLASH Hold on! I got you. (Drawn out scream) Hold on tight. Harrr-rrry! DULL ROAR HARRIER ENGINE WINDS DOWN Let's get this thing on the ground. (Triumphant squeal) (Gib over radio) Let's get these aircraft on the ground. We got a nuclear bomb going off in one minute. SIREN WAILS Any minute now. Go. All right, I know. All right, it's showtime. Do not look at the flash. Do not look at the flash. We should be safe here. TENDER MUSIC (Tuts gently) This is the wrong finger. MUSIC SWELLS DISTANT RUMBLE Harry. Hey, Harry, come here. Go to work. OK. Bye. Aziz's copter landed 20 minutes ago on top of a high-rise in Miami. It's right here. They met with other faction members on the 20th floor. I got SWAT there. The cops cordoned off the area. Harry, they got a hostage. It's Dana. What do you mean? MY Dana? I'm real sorry, Harry. I don't know what to say. I guess he grabbed her at night. We just found out about it. I don't want you to worry. We'll get her back. I've got a guy on the inside... Come here. We'll get her back. Here we go. Excuse me, I have to borrow your plane. Excuse me, sir? Force Com cleared you to give us total co-operation ` right? Yes, sir, but... And that comes from the President. But, sir, you have to sign for this aircraft. I'll sign for it. Got a pen? Harry, it has been 10 years since you flew one of these things. If I break it, they can take it out of my pay. Harry, listen! We got a guy on the inside. ENGINE HUMS Whoa! Gotta move back, everybody. ENGINE REVS FASTER AND FASTER It's going to be all right, everybody. He's got hundreds of hours in the Harrier there. THUD He is rusty right now. But that's a trademark Tasker takeoff. It's like riding a bike. You never forget. We might want to seek SHELTER!! WINDSCREEN SHATTERS LIGHTS CRUNCH Sorry. Fuck. DEAFENING ROAR OF ENGINE TV: Streets fill with running people as police try to evacuate. Now, these seem to be warning shots. They have not fired at us or the police... ...it's apparently the same group who just detonated a nuclear bomb... AZIZ ON TV: Crimson Jihad will rain fire on one US city each week until our demands are met. This tape was released to the media just minutes after... I have to go to the bathroom. BURST OF MACHINE-GUN FIRE Hold your fire, hold your fire! The video crew you wanted is here. Send them! They're comin' in. They're unarmed. (Both converse impatiently) Come on, let's go. DYNAMIC MUSIC This is a communique from Crimson Jihad. You have seen a demonstration of our power. Do not force us to destroy this city and do not try to use force against us. I, we, are all prepared to die. With one turn of that key... ...two million of your people will die (snaps fingers) instantly. What key? That key! Who's taken the key? Shoot her! FRENZIED MUSIC (Shouts order) SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC Holy shit. Whoa. (Calls out) (Sobbing breaths) Unit one to unit seven, give me a situation report. One to seven, give me a sit rep. Faisil, do you copy? Seven here. 21st floor secure. About 12 faction members on the 20th floor. No hostages there. Where's Dana? She's on the roof. OK. Stay put. And give me that address again. (Sobs softly) You shoot me, this will fall! Stay where you are! Stay where you are! Give me the key! I'll drop it, I swear! No! Give me the key. Come on, child. You don't want to die, do you? (Sobs) Give me the key and you won't get hurt. I give you my word. No way, you whacko! HELP ME! JET ROARS IN DISTANCE HEROIC MUSIC FRIGHTENED CRIES BURST OF FIRE (Shouts urgently) Please don't come any closer! (Screams) Help me, help me. Somebody! JET ROARS TRIUMPHANT MUSIC Dana, jump down. Jump. Come on, down. Jump down! Dad?! (screams) Help me. Daddy! CONTINUOUS FIRING Daddy, come back! Daddy, get me down. Daddy! Daddy, help me! Dana, jump. Jump. Daddy will catch you. JUMP! I can't. (Screams) Hold on, hold on. Yahhhh! Daddy, don't you let me fall, please. Dana, I got you. I'm slipping. (Screams) NOOOO! DANA! Help me, I'm going to fall. Hold my hand. Hold on tight, honey. Yahhh! JAUNTY LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC FROM HEADPHONES CRASH! (Grunts with pain) (Choking sound) Ooooh, oooh. (Cocks gun) Daddy, behind you! Take this plane down. NOW! Or I'll kill her. Take it down. Now! BURST OF GUNFIRE (Drawn-out scream) My God, do something! Huh? You're fired. (Clicks button) MISSILE ROARS Arghhhhhhhhhh...... Arghhhhh.... TERRIFIED SCREAMS KABOOM! PEACEFUL MUSIC CLUNK (Quiet sobs) It's OK. Dana. Honey. It's over. Hi, pumpkin. (Laughs) TV: Seconds after the jet landed, the unidentified pilot was escorted from the scene by federal agents. It is unclear at this moment which agency was responsible for the operation which ended the terrorist threat so dramatically. HAPPY LAUGHING AND TALKING HELEN: Are you ready? Do it properly. TOGETHER: One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war. Five, six, seven, eight, try to keep your thumbs straight. WILD SQUEALING You have to wait! (Laughs) I got you. Just listen. Listen to the rules. PHONE RINGS (Laughing) Hello? ELECTRONIC VOICE: Boris and Doris? We're on. Yes? Go ahead. ORCHESTRA PLAYS BLUE DANUBE PLEASANT CHIT CHAT (Exchange greetings in Japanese) Colonel. How nice to see you again. Good evening. Who was that? (Hums to waltz music) So what's the scoop, team? See your contact yet? Haven't seen him yet. But I see somebody I'd like to say hello to. Let me pour you some more champagne. I got to keep up the waiter bit. These stakeouts can be tricky, you know. You never know when it might explode into a life or death situation. If it gets rough, stay low until it's over. Maybe you should give me your... So, we meet again, Carlos. (Terrified gasping) (Gulps) I'm going to do him right here, OK? Go for it. Oh, God. TRICKLING SOUND Fear is not an option. (Hysterical cry) CRASHING AND CLATTERING SULTRY TANGO BEGINS Dance? Oh, no. The tango. Shit, here we go. INTENSE BURST OF MUSIC Harry, Helen...guys... Come on now, let's not get distracted. We've got work to do. All right, guys, come on. You gotta get serious in there. I'd be serious if I was in there. Don't ignore me, Harry. That's rude. All right, guys, come on. National security, guys, come on, life or death. Harry. Harry. Helen? Helen, I was always on your side. I was always there for you, Helen... You know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You guys can be in the van next time.