# "I Wish" - Stevie Wonder www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2015 'They say that starting a family is an act of optimism.' 'Well, Tom and I were clearly very, very, very optimistic.' 'There are always good times and difficult ones along the way.' 'And with 12 kids you learn a lot of lessons.' 'But the one that you never get used to is that moment when you look your child in the eye and find yourself having to say the most difficult word of all. 'Goodbye.' # I thought I told you not to go outside # Trying your best to bring the water to your eyes # Thinking it might stop her From whipping your behind # I wish those days could come back once more # Why did those days # Ever have to go? # I wish those days # Could come back once more # Why did those days ever have to go? # (CHEERING / APPLAUSE) Lorraine Baker. (ALL CHEER) Whoo-hoo! (WHOOPS) Yeah! Yay! (GRUNTS) (ALL CHEER) Congratulations. (CHEERING CONTINUES) (BAND PLAYS "I WISH") He's gotten good. Yeah. Oh, my gosh! Kick, kick, kick, kick! Blagh! (APPLAUSE) Alright, alright. It is time to toast the graduate. (ALL CHEER) Lorraine, we are all so proud of you. For keeping your chin up and charging the mountain. (ALL CHEER) And for being a truly unique and wonderful person. And for getting that internship at Allure magazine. Did you know that? (APPLAUSE) Even though I'm going to spend the entire summer trying to convince you that staying in Chicago is much better than moving to dirty, crime-ridden New York. But here's to Lorraine! (ALL CHEER) OK, my daughter Nora and her husband, Bud, you want to say something? And our future linebacker. Do we stay up here? Nope, we don't. "(ELECTRICAL FEEDBACK)" First, congratulations, Lorraine. Bud and I hope that our baby will be as cool and accomplished as you. Second, I don't mean to make this toast all about Bud and I, but we have some kind of big news. You know about this? I've just been offered the vice-presidency of a new advertising firm. (ALL CHEER) Congratulations! Yeah! In Houston. Oh. We're moving in September. Thank you! Come. Great. Oh, wow. Will we still be uncles? You'll be uncles no matter where we live. Maybe it was the best way to break it to us. Still quite a surprise. I'll say. A beer and a white wine. Hey, you guys. Hey. Hi. I'm losing two daughters in one day. You're not losing us. I hope you have some help lined up. You being a first-time mom. Bud, you'll be at work all day. No, I'm not gonna be at work all the time. We'll be fine. Whatever house we get is gonna have rooms for you guys. You're staying for touch football? We can't. We have Lamaze. This will help your breathing. See you soon. OK. You're driving? Mmm-hmm. Alright. See ya. Bye. See ya. Bye. Here you go, sir. Thank you. That's... They seem so casual and cavalier. Time for me to get my hands dirty. What, you working? What about the game? It's a rematch against the cousins. I've got student loans to pay off. OK. See ya. Alright. Be safe, honey. Did they forget that touch football is a time-honoured tradition? You have ten other kids to draft. Oh, I forgot. Forgot? Yeah. You're staying for the game, right? No. Didn't Mom tell you I'm spending the weekend at Beth's? I'm leaving in five minutes. Bye. Love you. Bye. You ready for some touch? Mike and me are competing at the skate park. I volunteered at the animal shelter. Bye, Dad. Hey! Nigel, Kyle, football! Grrrr-ah! Blagh! Alright. I'm here, coach. You just made the varsity, little lady. Come on! There you go! Go on, go, go! I'll block for you. Here we go. (BOTH) Halfwits. Are you OK? Yeah. I thought it would get easier. Ten minutes ago they were all over us. Now they don't want to be seen with us in public. What's that doing here? Lorraine was looking through this. Ohh. That's sweet. Ohhh! The cutest. Look at her. (CHUCKLES) She looks just like my mom. (Wow.) A lot of memories. Summers in Wisconsin. Swimming, all of us camping out, everyone together. Yeah. That had to be the last time we were there. Three, four years ago? Yeah. Look at Sarah. No teeth. We were one tight unit back then. Yeah. Even if we never beat the Murtaughs for the Labour Day Cup. Look. Jimmy Murtaugh, Mr Competitive. He was so desperate to win. He would win... all the time. Even when we were kids this guy was like a... Alright, honey. Let's not go there. Ohhh! You know what? That's exactly what we should do. What? Go back to the lake! The whole family on vacation. Like we used to! I'll call Mike and see if the house is available over Labour Day. It's a great idea. But the kids are enrolled for summer school. Nora's pregnant. That's why we should do it. Life's blazing by. Let's go back to the lake one last time. Hmm. We did have such good times there, huh? You and I had alone time, which was nice. There's the proof. (CHUCKLES) Hey, Gunner. Hey, Gunner! Let's call Mike, honey. Charlie, you're conferencing with all of us and Lorraine. (ALL) Hey, Charlie! Hi, guys, what's up? I'm here. We've got a surprise. We rented the big house up in Lake Winnetka. Winnetka? That's my middle name. And Lake is mine! It's where we're gonna spend Labour Day, just like the old days. (VARIOUS GROANS) I'm gonna be very pregnant then. And I'm gonna be apartment hunting in New York. I wanna hang out with my friends. How come Nigel and me aren't named after a house? Good question. Your middle name is Winnetka and yours is Lake cos you two were conceived there. What does that mean? Mom and Dad - Had a conversation that we'd discuss when everybody can understand. Kyle and me will go any place that has our name on it. Bingo! Come on! I love the lake. I'm in. Whoa! I can cancel a couple of gigs. Bingo! OK. We're in. Alright! (BOTH) We agree to participate. (WHOOPS) Bring the wake boards. We'll dominate. OK, we're in. Alright. And that leaves... Lorraine. (ALL URGE LORRAINE) Alright, you guys, here's the deal. I'll go to the lake, if Dad stops nagging me about not going to New York any more. Deal! That's a dozen. We're going! # The sun coming down # Everything's perfect # What if we don't ever miss # Another day # And let time forget? # What if we # What if we stayed like this? # Who cut the cheese? Gunner farted. Gunner's spraying on me. Eurgh! Yeah. "Charlie and I are gonna drive up." Yeah. You missed. I love you, too. Bye. Lorraine's got a line on the place. She and Charlie will come up in a couple days. A couple of days? The point of the vacation is that the whole family's together. Hey! Honey, relax. Alright! Remember this? Look at the lake! It looks fantastic! Wow! Doesn't it look great? Come on, kids. (EXCITED CHATTER) Everyone out, come on. Look at it! This is it? Remember this? It looks smaller. And more disgusting. Why can't we rent that place? Oh, well, that place is new. This place is... Old... er. But still nice. Yeah. And that might have a water slide, but our place has, erm,... There's stairs. They're fun. Yeah. So, unload, camper dudes! Girls in the north bunk room. Boys in the south. Bud and Nora in the loft. Wow. Careful. Give the phone a rest, we're on vacation. Hey, how'd Mad Dog like the trip? Maybe the baby's not going to be a mad dog, Tom. It's a classic linebacker name. OK. How about Dick Butkus McNulty? Maybe it's gonna be a girl, Dad. (HORN SOUNDS) Donna Butkus McNulty. We've got the whole vacation to find a name. Someone's here. Mike! Good to see you. Finding everything OK? Shouldn't be too disorganised. Only two renters this season. The lake's a lot more upscale now. Thank Jimmy Murtaugh. Remember him? Yeah. Owns most of the lake now. That's his place over there. Oh, well, good for Jimmy. Hey, remember Kate? Oh, hey, Mike! How are ya? Good to see you! Good to see you. If you don't feel like cooking, there's a clambake up at the club. Come as my guests. Guests? Oh, yeah. The club's private now. And renovated. Homeowners only. Wow. Put you on the list? OK. (HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMS) What's going on? Stop! (BOTH) Shhh! Chiseler. (CRUNCHES /SQUEAKS) Tell me those aren't my keys. Get him outside. I remember how to handle this guy. I can't believe he's still alive. You know that thing? Hey. Yeah. Don't hurt him. Hiya. I got him. It's a snatch. Here you go. Hold still. Yeah! Yah! (SQUEAKS) (SCREAMS) (GUNNER BARKS) (VARIOUS SQUEALS) Oh! Gunner, stay! Stay, Gunner! Get him! Stay, Gunner! Aaarh! (BOTH GASP) (SQUEAKS) Oh! (SQUEAKS) Don't light the firework! Don't light it! Not in the house! Nigel! Kyle! (SQUEALS) (GUNNER BARKS) (SCREAMS) Gunner, come back! (ALL) Gunner! What was that? He's a pack rat. Steals stuff. Hides it in his hole. I'll get a trap in the morning. A humane trap. Absolutely. We have a fantastic first day going! Let's clean up and unpack, cos we've got a clambake to go to! Clambake, huh! Here we go. What is this stuff? I'm gonna put more sugar in your diets to get you moving! You bought that shirt?! Every dad is entitled to one hideous shirt and one horrible sweater. It's part of the dad code. Mark, you're on fireworks detail. OK. What's all that? Erm, nothing. Oh. Seat belts. OK, kids, you know the rules. I'm underdressed. I thought this was supposed to be a clambake. Excuse me. OK. Hey, I'm so glad you could come! Hi, Mike. Good to see ya. Listen, kids, food's downstairs. Mom, Dad, the bar's over there. Have a great time. Best behaviour. Stick together. Keep an eye on them. See you. (EASY-LISTENING TUNE / SNORES LOUDLY) Lloyd! How are ya? Jimmy Murtaugh! Just engage in conversation. We are talking. More intense so he won't come up. Ohh! Hi! Hi. Just hide your face. That's a little obvious. Look at that. Oh, God. Tom! Turn. Oh, my goodness! Look what the wind blew in! Hey! Jimmy! (LAUGHS) Tom! Look at you! How are you? Wow, you're looking good. A little wrinkled around the edges, but not bad for an old man. And you... Kate. Kate. Still looking very hot for a mother of 12. Oh, thank you! What brings you guys back to my lake? Your lake? Your lake now? I just have to buy Romano's place and one or two other properties and then I can keep the riffraff like you out of here, huh? (LAUGHS) Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Tom and Kate, this is Sarina, my new bride. Hi. Nice to meet you, Sarina. Nice to meet you. This is the parents of that family of pranksters I was telling you about. Jimmy's always been jealous because we have 12 kids and he only has 8. Your 12 never beat my 8 for the cup, now did they, Tom? Well, no, they didn't. Your 12 never beat my 8 for the cup, now did they, Tom? Well, no, they didn't. Is that why you came back? Trying to knock my family off the wall? Huh? No, we just came for a vacation. Come on, buy me a drink! Buy you a drink?! Mr Lake! Jake Baker? Elliot... Murtaugh. No way! Dude, it's Elliot Murtaugh. Hey. Hey. That's Mike. Hey, Mike. That's such a cool stick! Can you bang any tricks? Yeah. Check it. Awesome! I'll have clams, please. Oh, sorry, there's no clams. But we have some clam fritters. So, this clambake is clamless? Then, why not just call it a buffet? Sometimes I feel like a stranger on this planet. I couldn't agree more. Tom, I read a while back you quit the head coaching gig at Illinois. What was that all about? The job was taking up a lot of hours. I wanted to spend more time with the family. Kudos! Thank you. It's my word for the day. How fun! Fun to have a word. So, Katie, with Tom at home changing diapers, you're tearing up the best-seller list. I only had one book. I'd love to - Excuse me. Waiter. Yes, sir. Another scotch por favor. Anybody else? I'm fine. Is Charlie still playing ball? No, he's living downtown. He's working in a garage to help pay for tuition at Chicago University. I did a guest spot on Monster Garage when I was acting. I just love the whole engine and cars thing. You're an actress. That's great. Thank you, Tom. You're welcome, Sarina. Kudos. How long have you two been married? Six amazing months. Ohh. Right, honey? Yeah. Happy anniversary. There's Mike, Jake and Sarah. They compete in skating contests on a regular basis. See ya. Hey! (LAUGHS) Sarah! That's good. Start with small steps before taking big ones. Yeah. Mark Baker? Kenny the maniac! If it isn't my partner in crime. You'll get in trouble, Murtaugh. Only if I get caught, Baker. Come here, I wanna show you something. Please don't get me in trouble like last time. You worry too much. How are your kids? I've got three at a private school for gifted children in Lake Forest, two at Handover, one at Exeter. Calvin's at Yale finishing up a field study in particle physics. Generating a lot of interest there. Elliot was in Sports Illustrated, won the snowboarding nationals. Slope style. Well, that was no surprise. But I've got to say, Anne's still my superstar. After she gets her MBA at Harvard she'll work at Murtaugh Enterprises. She is definitely corporate material. (SNIFFS) Something reeks. < (SIZZLING) Whoa. Look out! Look out! Look out! Watch out! Look out. She's gonna blow! (EXPLOSION) Whoa! (CRASHES) Cool. Accident or not, you'll take the garbage out for a month or something you don't want to do for 30 days. Sit down. Everyone, quiet for me. It comes down to one word - push. If you don't push, they don't do anything. Well, I think it's a little more complicated than that. Oh, is it? "Most of them worried about making their car payments." (ALL) Oooh. Hey, got you! Oh, yeah. Nigel! Leave Kyle's pants alone! Ohh! Look, no one was hurt. It's fine. Why don't you and your family come over to the Boulders sometime? The Boulders? Yeah, our cottage. We would love to do that. Sometime. Hey, kids. Why don't you leave the fireworks at home? You're all welcome at our place. We've got lasers, wireless internet, plasma screens, satellite TV, all the toys and whistles. (ALL CHATTER EXCITEDLY) We're here for quality time with the kids. Time to go. We've done enough damage. Up and at 'em. Thank you. See you at the lake or something. Another time. Nice to meet you. Nice meeting you, too. Good seeing you again, Tom! You too, erm,... Kate. Kate. Boy, when we were kids I used to be so envious of Tom Baker. He just had it all. Well, I guess the Gucci loafer's on the other foot now. Everyone straight to bed. What a moron. Honey, he's our son. Not Mark, he's a kid. Murtaugh. "You could use the word push." Next time we see him let's just agree to ignore him. Not gonna be a next time. Oh? I don't know if the kids will agree. Think that water slide could compete with the tyre swing I'm gonna put up? Rise and shine! Daylight's burning! (TRIANGLE CLANGS) It is breakfast at the Baker's day one! Let's go! Come on, sleepy heads. Is there a particular reason why we're eating breakfast outside? Yes. It's a beautiful day. It's vacation. (HORN SOUNDS) Hey, guys! There's the rest of the clan. Come on. Hey, guys! Hey, guys, look! Come on. Hey! Welcome to the land of plenty! It still smells the same here. Like dead leaves and unwashed animals and... murky lake water. That's called fresh air, sweetheart. Watch my hat. Hey, you guys! Let's go eat. We need a forklift to get Lorraine's suitcase out of here. I've been here 30 seconds and you're already making fun of me. Yeah, that was my foot. Is that suitcase just for make-up? Whatever, butch. Big breakfast, everybody, so you have enough room for family activities. Family activities? Absolutely. Fishing off the dock for big daddy. Hanging the tyre swing, getting out the diving board. I'm boarding with Elliot. Kenny has video games. We were going to use the Murtaughs' internet so we could research for the academic decathlon. Precisely. We need the extra hours. You've got all vacation to go to that place. We have all vacation to do the family activities, too. Sarah, wanna hang out with Dad today? Erm,... actually I was gonna go boarding with Jake. And... and Elliot. Well, you know, I guess we could do lake stuff another day. Here we go. Scones. Henry. Jake. Alright. No. Leave it there. The dog will get it. # "Someday" - Sugar Ray # Someday # When my life has passed me by # I'll lay around and wonder why # You were always there for me # Whoa! (GUNNER GRUMBLES) (GASPS) Did you nail down an apartment? Erm, I'm just waiting to hear. You know, I bet you could get a place in Chicago for half the rent. Dad, we made a deal. (COUGHS) Man! That dock needs work. Eurgh. (MOTORS ROAR) Where you going? The hardware store. I'm gonna fix this place up. You have crazy look in your eye. What you gonna get? Tools! # "Express Yourself" - Jason Mraz Oh! Oh! # Express yourself # Express yourself # You don't ever need help # From nobody else # Cos all you've gotta do now... Honey? Honey? # Is express yourself... OK, do not stand up. Hear me? Dad! # Whatever you do... Da-a-a-a-ad! # Do it good... Hey, kids! Tyre swing ready! Whoo! # Whatever you do, do, do... Tyre swing not ready! # Do it good # Alright # Well, it's not what you look like # When you're doing what you're doing # But what you're doing when you're doing # And what you look like you're doing, express yourself! # Express yourself # They're doing it on the moon, y'all # And in the jungle, too # (ALL CHATTER) Hey, Dad. Hey! Get bored at the Murtaughs? No. We're going back after study time. You're making time for your studies. I'm proud of you. Not us, Dad. Them. Mr Murtaugh forces the kids to read and write two hours every single day. Lame, I know. Who are these guys? What? There's no way I'm camping out. Oh, yes, honey, you could do it one night for Daddy. Come on. This doesn't sit well with me. Oh. I know what you mean. Lorraine, are you serious?! Is she kidding? That's not gonna fit in your tent, Lorraine. Oh, I'm gonna make it fit, Dad. (GRUNTS) Come on. I'm making S'mores. I'll help you. We're trying to eat only organic food. Right? Organic food. Is that for the baby? Yeah. Baby will love a S'mores party in your tummy. Let's go. Cool! The Bakers are having a campout. Can I go over? Why have a campout when you can have a full-on fondue party right here, huh? Sweet. (ALL CHATTER) (GOES QUIET) (BOTH LAUGH) Babe, that's your fourth S'more. My parents never let me have these. They're amazing! (BOTH LAUGH) (CHUCKLES) Do you ever think we should be more strict with the kids? No, honey. We give them love and guidance. And that's... What else is there? They're either in trouble, about to get into trouble or laying out a plan to create trouble. Dad, how come those guys know how to camp so good? (CHEERING) Hey. Hey! What if we sing a camp song, huh? Sounds good. # There once was a man named Michael Finnegan # (ALL) He had some whiskers on his chinnegan # The wind blew them off and they grew in again # Poor old Michael Finnegan Begin again # There once was a man named Michael Finnegan # He had whiskers on his chinnegan Let's we give them a run for their money. # Begin again, there once was a man named Michael Finnegan... (DISTANT HARMONIOUS SINGING) # (ALL) ..be unbroken # By and by # Lord, by and by... # Poor old Michael Finnegan Begin again... # ..better home awaiting... # The wind blew them off and they grew in again... Stand up! # ..named Michael Finnegan # He grew whiskers on his chinnegan # The wind blew them off and they grew in again # Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again... # By, Lord, by and by # Oh, yeah # There's a better # Oh, yeah # Home awaiting # Home awaiting # In the sky, Lord, in the sky... This guy is so competitive! # ..once was a man named Michael Finnegan # (BOTH GROUPS CARRY ON SINGING) Oh, boy, I love camping. This is fun. Good times. Good times. Good times, yeah. (GROANS) Hey, kids! Didn't you love blowing Murtaugh off the lake last night? Kids, huh? Honey, they're all in the house. No! Yeah. Hey. Hello? You happy? They can't spend one night in the tent? Tom! What does that show-off want? Oh, what a day, hey, Tom! Boy, you have got this place looking... Anyway. I see the, erm,... troops are sleeping in. Oh, no. They're already up. They're out cutting wood and making biscuits and blazing a new trail. Nothing out of the ordinary. Impressive. The missus and I are putting on a little spread. The kids are getting along so well. Why don't you and the gang come over to the Boulders for brunch? Aw, actually - Cool! What time? Mimosas at noon on the dot. (ALL CHEER) # "Why Can't We Be Friends?" - War Atta girl. Take it away, honey. # Do, do, do # Do, do, do, do # Do, do, do... Whoa! Adios, amigo! Isn't he like the coolest dad ever? Oh, yeah, cool. # Oh, oh, ohhh # Why can't we be friends? # Why can't we be friends? # Why can't we be friends... Whoa! # Why can't we be friends... Awesome, dude! # I've seen you around for a long, long time, yeah... Kids, stay right here. # Why can't we be friends? # Welcome to the Boulders. Ah-huh. Hey. Hi! Tom. Thanks for having us. Where's the gift shop? Oh! You brought your dog! Oh! Sorry. Just say "sit". Down. Whoa! (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Tom? Hey, Gunner! OK! (GUNNER GRUMBLES) Somebody help! I've got him. I've got him. Honey. I'm fine. They have things called obedience schools, Baker! Are you alright, honey? I'm fine. Tie Fido up for five minutes. Honey, he's fine. Just let him play. We don't want that near the dining set from the king of Thailand. Mark, there's a leash in the car. Get it. Why don't we go inside? Good idea. I'll be right back. Hey, Sarah. Want to go on the Seadoo with me and Jake before we eat? Yeah. Sure. Cool. Let's go. You coming or not, dude? Yeah. Jimmy. I almost forgot. Oh, Tom, for heaven's sake, you didn't have to. Sparkling cheesehead? Wisconsin's finest bubbly. I'm sure it is. Might have to let this baby age about 2-300 years. (BOTH LAUGH) Superstar, take this down to the cellar and bring a nice bottle of Taittinger. Sure. I'll give you a hand. It's a fantastic place. Oh, it's not much, but I call it a second home. How come you guys haven't built your own house up here? Oh, well, with 12 kids, you've got to use the money for food and water. I bet if Tom had kept that job, he could have built a place like this. Oh, well, life's full of choices. Some good, and some not so good. Honey, take Kate and show her the dining set the king of Thailand gave us. OK, honey. Oh, I'd love to look at the plates from a king. Don't get lost, honey. Come on, Tom, I want to show you something. Feast your eyes on these honeys, Tom. Albino ironwood right out of the Peruvian rainforest. Mmm, you can still smell the jungle on 'em. Go ahead. Take a whiff. (SNIFFS) Come on, rest your honker on it and take a whiff. (SNIFFS) Hmm. Hmm. Smells like global warming. That's moss. It's moss, Tom. Well, this is the trophy room. Are those your kids? Yeah. That's the Murtaugh victory reel. It's on a loop. Hmm. It's a good room. I'll tell ya why I love this room so much, Tom. All the trophies, the ribbons, the prizes. Past, present and... future. It's proof that children can be groomed to reflect the best aspects of any given gene pool. You must keep them on a short leash. I couldn't agree more. My Anne's proof of that. You're looking a bit more put together than you used to. Thanks. Your nose was too big for your face. That skin irritation on your hand. It kept working its way up your arm, into your neck and over the... Glad that it's gone though. It looks good. Well, if I remember correctly, you weren't so hot yourself. (GUNNER BARKS) That mutt could use a shorter leash, too. (PANTS) She's so cool. Yeah, the kids and I spent a weekend putting that dock together. Nothing like a little manual labour to keep you humble. Sit down, Tom. Jimmy has pants to match that shirt? Yeah. Boy, this place wasn't put together overnight. Does Daddy know about your tattoo? (GASPS) No! (GASPS) I'm sorry, Mom! I'm so sorry! Mom? It's OK. I'm fine. (GASPS) It's like spring break. Hope I win the contest. I have a shirt for you. A shirt? OK. Mom? I'm sorry. If my dad finds out before I tell him - You'll be grounded? Please, just don't say anything. Nice hands(!) Hey, Sarah. Hey, Dad. You should see Mr Murtaugh's new Seadoo. It's so awesome. That's terrific. Now turn around and pretend to be looking at the view. Why? Turn around and pretend to be looking at the view. Are you still in touch with your dark gifts? Punking? Practical jokes? Soaking underwear in... Meat. Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in touch. Why? I, erm,... I have a mission for you. Who's the target? Ohh, Murtaugh. Hmm. I can help you. Hi! So long as I don't do ten for the crime. Hey, guys! Hi! Done. No grounding. Uh-uh. No allowance stoppage. Uh-huh. No boring spiel about the difference between right and wrong. And you have no problem with the methods that I choose. Hey! It's your contract. Do with it what you will. Agreed? Agreed. Hey, give Daddy a hug. Nail 'em. Guys. Guys. Guys! I have a mission for you. It's top secret. It's high priority. What is it? Come on, I'll show you. (WHINES) Positions. Check. (CHUCKLES) (SQUISHES) Oh, my gosh! It's a purple Bigfoot! What? Huh?! A purple Bigfoot! A what? I don't see anything. Hah hah! Made you look! Made you look! Hah! You are so stupid. Did I mention the set was a gift from - The king of Thailand? Yeah. Hey, give me that! I see your kids can't wait to get started. Oh, well, that's just the way they are. (LAUGHS) Hey, you guys! No eating until everyone's seated. OK. Wow. Eyes up here, honey. Doesn't she look hot? Wow! She looks unbelievable. Come on, let's sit down. Where you been all my life? Alright. Tom, right over here. Thank you. Ignore the place card, Tom, sit next to your wife. Fine. If you what chaos. Right here, Believe me, I don't mind. Oh! Dad, don't do... (SQUELCHING) Oh! The cushion is soft. Ohh. So, you two play tennis? Yeah. You're in the meat seat! What? (GUNNER SNIFFS / GROWLS) (VARIOUS SCREAMS) Whoa! Whoa! (ALL GASP) I knew that dog was gonna be trouble! Whoa! Oh! Whoa! Oh! (CRASHING) Whoa! (BOWL RATTLES) My china. (JAWS MOTIF) Where is he? I don't know. You don't know?! (BOTH) Whoa! (GUNNER GRUMBLES) It's OK. It happens all the time. Oh, no, it doesn't. I'm so sorry. I'm really embarrassed. Thank you for the lovely shirt. You must send me a bill for this. Don't think about it, Tom. What's a few thousand dollars here and there? The main thing is you had a good time. We'll talk about it later. I'll see you on the tennis court. Yeah. And bring your A game. Bye. What was that? Nothing. No, no, no. That was not nothing. That was something. In the house. I know, I'm a horrible father. Well, honey, you broke your promise. What promise? Not to get involved in this competitive thing with Jimmy. It's all so infantile. He tried to tell us how we should raise the kids. Meaning what? He thinks the kids are, you know... Did he say the kids are...? No. But you could that he implied, that's what he thought. Oh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh is right. Mmm-hmm. "I do not like green eggs and ham." "I do not like them, Sam I am." A little old for that book, Bud. She's reading to the baby. To the baby? Yeah. Unborn babies are comforted by the sound of their mother's voice. Don't spoil my linebacker. The baby will be what it wants to be. Just let us be the parents, OK? Come on, Bud, I'm hungry. Me, too. Hi, Mr Baker! Hi, Elliot. What's up? I was looking for Sarah. You mean Jake? No, Sarah and I and Calvin are going boarding. Oh, well, she'll be back soon. OK. I'll wait on the dock. Wait, wait, wait. Sit down. OK. Yeah. So, erm,... What do you do for a living, Elliot? Erm,... I'm in eighth grade. Oh, yeah, right. And... how's that going for ya? Fine. You on any teams? Football, boarding and baseball. All that focus on sports. Must impact your grades quite a bit. No, actually, I'm an honours student. Right, yeah. You... play any instruments? Drums. Ohhh. You're probably in one of those punk bands, right? Mmm-mmm. Timpani. You know, the school orchestra. Yeah. Hey, Elliot. Oh. See you, Mr Baker. Later, dude. Dad. Guys! (SIGHS) What now? Mind if I go water-boarding too? It's knee-boarding. I'm sure you can't do it. If Jimmy can do it I can do it. You must be Calvin. Yeah. Nice to meet you. I just got back from Yale. Oh, congratulations. I'll just squeeze in over here. There we go. Everybody ready? Yeah! Fun, huh? Yeah. Why don't you go first? You guys keep an eye on him. Ready, Mr Baker? OK, I'm - Whoa! Whoa! Ahhh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Sorry he interrogated you. My dad would have done the same thing. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohhh! Whoa! Really? Yeah, you should come to my house sometime. Slow down! Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Da, da, da, da, da! Ahhh! Ah! Whoa! It's really easy. Whoa! Oh! Do you have a favourite subject? Probably math. Aaaaaarh! (GLUGS) Ahhhhhh! (GLUGS) (BOTH) Stop! (GLUGS) You'll do better next time, Mr Baker. It's OK. Are you sure he'll be OK? Yeah. He'll be fine. Ohh! (CRASHING) (GROANS) Dad! Are you OK? It's all good. Well. I'll go put on a little perfume. Sarah, Elliot seems OK. I see why you like him. Somebody's turning red. Shut up! Thanks a lot, Dad(!) What did I say? Men can be so clueless. Honey, men are clueless. (SIGHS) I'll go talk to her. Mom, let me do this. Trust me, I've got a little experience in the area of parental harassment. Hey. I totally know how you feel. How are you? Dad can be pretty hands-on in your face sometimes, huh? Just leave me alone. A, I am never trying to help her again. And B, I cannot wait to move to New York. (GASPS) What are you doing here?! This is the way I run. Why are you here? I like to get out of the house. Oh. Take a break from the perfect daughter bit? I'm not the only one who's putting on an act for Daddy around here. You've hated the city since we were kids. Why go to school there? Seemed like the right thing to do. Because your parents said it was the right thing to do? No, because my parents wanted me closer to home, that's why. Are you gonna live at home forever? No. I've just got to figure out my next move and do it. How about you, superstar? What's the master plan, huh? I've got to tell my dad I'm not built for the corporate life. Good luck. So for now I'm just gonna draw. What do you draw? Stay still, Baker. Right. You're not drawing me cos - OK, right here? Is this good? If I stay right here? It might be better if - Stop smiling. Sarah, come on! Hurry up! OK. OK. Anybody seen my other tennis shoe? No. No, I-I haven't. Have you seen my other tennis shoe? (BOTH) No. Chiseler! (SQUEAKS) Chiselling little... (GUNNER BARKS) Great(!) Hey. How you doing? Hey. Good to see ya. Hi, Sarina. Nice shoes. Yeah, well - Kidding. Let's warm up. Let's do it. Let's do it. Come on, Murtaugh! Got it. I don't remember you out here when we were kids. Dad didn't allow us to come out in the woods. OK, I'm done. That's Charlie Baker figuring out his next move. You're good. (SCOFFS) Tell my dad. Maybe he'll let me transfer from Harvard to Madison art school. You want live up here and go to school? This is my favourite place. Why? I've always fantasised about moving up here. Maybe open up a garage or something. You've figured out your next move. I think you're right. Want to go for a walk or something? Is Charlie Baker asking me out on a date? Not sure our fathers would approve. Let's go. Yeah. Yours. Nice. Nice! This is mine! Uh. Oh. (LAUGHS) It's these shoes. OK. Alright. A poor workman blames his tools. Just serve. This is payback for the china. Come on, give me your best, Jimmy. Hah! I got it! I got it. I got it, I got it. Urgh! I've got it. I've got it! Ohh! Mine! Got it! I've got it! Mine. (BOTH GRUNT) Mine! Whoa! It's turbo. I'm in so much trouble from the other night, there's no way. Don't be a wimp. I'm not a wimp! Come on, get in. OK. Just one little cruise. Come on, Baker, I'm getting old here. Just be careful. Whoa! Slow down! Mr and Mrs Baker, there's a call from security at the gift shop. Wha-What's this about? Just follow me. (ENGINE REVS) Look out! Whoa! (BOTH) Whoa! Oh. We'll let it go if you promise to keep your kids under control. I really appreciate that. We'll take care of it. Thank you. There you go. Thanks. Thank you, Mr Murtaugh. Are you just gonna talk to her, Tom? How I discipline my kids is none of your business. I've been trying to say this in a nice way, but, well, there's a reason your kids are screw-ups. My kids screwed up. They are not screw-ups. You're not strict enough. Parenting isn't a popularity contest. If you knew that, your kids wouldn't be so undisciplined. Their only problem is that they're hanging out with your kids. My daughter wasn't caught stealing. My son didn't trash a tennis court. Do you actually think I'm screwing up my kids? Yeah. One day they're gonna crack. Why don't we test that theory? On Labour Day. Murtaughs versus Bakers. For the cup. You're on. We'll see you there. Let's go. Honey, did you just agree to the competition and the cup? Yeah. (SIGHS) OK, missy, let's go walk and talk. Wanna tell me what this is all about because it's so not you. I was embarrassed. Look at me, honey. Embarrassed about what? Make-up. Oh, honey. You can come to me any time with any thing. You know that, right? Mmm-hmm. OK. I know why you wanted the make-up. For Elliot, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well. I'm just not pretty like Nora or Lorraine. I thought maybe the make-up would... help. You're beautiful. And remember something else that's important. When you like a boy, never be anybody but yourself. Elliot liked you without make-up, didn't he? Do you think he really likes me? Oh, how could he not? No more felonies, deal? Deal. Deal. Good. I guess the Labour Day Cup's gonna be a bloodbath. You got that right. From now on, no seeing the Murtaughs, no talking to the Murtaughs, no thinking about the Murtaughs. Can't we compete and see them? No. Right now I am not a father, I am a coach. We will be training twice a day every day starting outside in ten minutes. (ALL GROAN) # "Under Pressure" - Queen and David Bowie # Pressure # Pushing down on me # Pressing down on you # No man asked for # Under pressure... Lorraine! # That burns a building down Splits a family in two # Puts people on streets... And toss 'em. # Um, ba, ba, bay... Toss 'em. Toss. Toss. Dad! Just toss. Dad, lay off. Toss. I'm tossing! No crying. Step back. I can't handle this pressure, Dad! Eggs cost money! # Tomorrow takes me higher... It's a three-legged race. Run as if you have two. On your mark. Set. Go! # Day, day, day... Go. Go! It's your fault! Hey! Come on, get in. Come on. # Dah, dah, dah, dah... Murtaugh! Murtaugh! Murtaugh! Murtaugh! # Chipping around, kick my brains round the floor # These are the days it never rains but it pours # Ee, do, bay, bup Ee, do, ba-ba-bup... Take a deep swing. Boom. Just like that. Head up. # People on streets # Dee, da, dee, da, day... Oh! # People on streets Dee, da, dee, da, dee, da, dee, da # It's the terror of knowing # What this world is about Watching some good friend scream... Give it a good one. One more. # Takes me higher and higher # Pressure on people # People on streets... That's a zero. # Under pressure (SQUEAKS) # Pressure # (BOTH SLURP) (CUTLERY CLINKS PLATES) I love having dinner when all you hear is forks hitting the plates. This could be our last chance to be together and you're ruining it. I'm glad we're moving to Houston. And so is Iron, Mike or Donna Baker Butkus McNulty. (DOOR SLAMS) (DOOR SLAMS) Bulk up. You're burning a hole in my face. Tom. You've got to stop this whole training camp thing. This is not some little fence-line squabble. This is an epic battle between two families. (CHUCKLES) No. No, no, honey. I think this is Tom versus Jimmy. I'm sorry, General, but you're starting to lose the respect of your troops. That's dangerous. Give the kids some space. Are you asking me to back out of the competition? No, honey. Especially with Sarah, it's her first crush. Come on. What, with Elliot? Yes. She needs to know that we trust her. She couldn't even come to me and tell me she wanted to wear make-up. Is that the kind of relationship you want her to have with us? Oh, hey. Hi! Oh, wow! Let's run. (LAUGHS) Just leave it. They'll get somebody. OK. The kids drop stuff all the time and run away and leave me there. Can I ask you a question? Sure. How do you manage 12 kids? Oh, with great difficulty. Trust me. Good. I have no idea what I'm doing. Oh. You've got a lot of fruit in the cart. I get some refined sugar. It's great for negotiating purposes or whatever. Jimmy's gone overboard with the tough love. The kids are miserable. He doesn't see it. He and Tom bring out the best in each other. I'm actually getting a kick out of it. They're very entertaining. And exhausting. This is good. (DISTANT CHATTER) So hopefully tonight will work? Yeah. OK. See ya. Not my little girl. Hey, Dad. Erm, are you OK? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just need you to help me pace out 25 yards for the egg race, starting here. OK? Here you go. Yeah. OK. Go ahead. Hey, Dad, I was... Those... Those steps are too small. (SIGHS) Those steps are... Can I go to the movies with Elliot tonight? ..are too big. I guess so. Sarah! Sarah! Nora has to urinate and a full bladder puts inordinate strain on the embryonic sac. Kim! Thank you. We could just go with hurry up. (BOTH) Hurry up! (SIGHS) I need... ..Lorraine. You get Lorraine. I'll pee outside. (KNOCK AT DOOR) Hey, it's me. How's it going? Elliot asked me out and, erm,... I'm kind of new to the whole dating thing, so... Are you going to make me beg? I was thinking about it. Come on. Let's start with your make-up. Erm,... Lorraine, thanks. Erm,... Lorraine, thanks. Don't worry about it. Pink? Come on. Can't we do like a skin colour? Come on. There you go. (GENERAL CHATTER) Hey, guys. Guys! I need everybody's attention. Sarah's about to come downstairs and she's going on her date tonight. She looks a little different, OK? I would really appreciate it if you guys could give her the respect that you never gave me. And not ridicule her style choices before she enters the world of multi-gender interaction. OK? Go about your chores and act completely natural. Lorraine? I think you're gonna do just fine in New York. Ohh! Thank you! (DOOR CREAKS) (SPLATS) Hubba, hubba! You look very pretty. You always do. Thank you. Well, I'm going to the movies. Sounds good. Need some money? No. I have some from lawn-mowing. The limo's here. There's Mr Murtaugh. OK. Well, have fun. And I'll pick you up outside the theatre at nine. OK. Bye. Bye. Bye, cutie. I'll save a spot for you on the varsity. Have fun! How cute was she? Yeah. Seems like yesterday that was you, missy. You're not gonna start crying, are you, Dad? Hey, I'm a football coach, remember? Right. (BOTH CHATTER) What have we got to eat? (HEARTBEAT / CLOCK TICKS) 'Can I go to the movies with Elliot?' 'Can I go to the movies with Elliot?' 'Can I go to the movies with Elliot?' 'Honey, you want something to eat?' (TICKS / HEARTBEAT ACCELERATES) Tom, do you want something to eat? Huh? Oh, no. You know what? I should go and get Sarah. It's 7:30. The movie just started. I'm not going directly there. I'm gonna get gas first. Ohhh. OK. There's bound to be traffic. Labour Day weekend and everything. Sure. I'll get going. I don't trust those fish clocks. (LAUGHS) They're notoriously slow. I love you, sweetheart. Thank you. One please. (GROWLS) (What are you doing here?!) I'm here to make sure this movie is appropriate for our children. It's rated G. Shh! Shh! Mom. Sir, could you please sit down? What are you doing here so early? Father of the daughter always arrives early for pick-up duty. Everybody knows that. Excuse me? Is there a problem here? Yes. This man's harassing me. The man's guilty of over-parenting. If you two can't keep it down, I'm gonna throw both of you out. Oh my God. Look at this. What? He's stretching. He's doing the move. What move? You're sitting in the theatre, you fake a ya-a-a-a-awn. Oh, boy, am I tired. The hand comes over. And then a little while later, the head comes over, giving you extra reach here. Right? Mom, look. Those two down there. See what I mean? Sweet Jesus. Ahem. Warning number two. He was showing me the move. Do you mind? You don't know the move? No, I don't know the move. I wasn't a hormone-crazed Romeo when I was a kid. I had self-control, social sophistication. Be quiet down there. Your son has raging hormones like every male teenager. Meaning what? Meaning on the sophistication scale, he's one step above ape. You calling my son an ape? He's an ape like every other male teenager. Take it back! I'm not gonna take back. Take it...! Take it back. Were you gonna poke me? No, I was not gonna poke you. You were gonna poke me. Because you were asking for it. Shh! If I'm asking for it, give me a poke. Oh, you want a poke? What's going on down? Hey, sit down! Is that a poke? That's a practice. Give me your best poke. You don't want my best poke. I want your best. (GASPS) Come on. Haaah! (GASPS) (ANXIOUS CHATTER) Hi! Great(!) Hey, honey, how'd it... go? Dad was totally spying on me! You ruined everything! There's no way I'm competing in that cup. I can't believe you did that. Really, Dad, that is so big brother. Let's go. Come on, Bud, let's put this baby to bed. Not cool, Dad. You and Jimmy aren't so different, Dad. Different styles, but... the same result. Let's go, guys. Oh, honey. Honey, we talked about this. The tighter you hang on, the more they're gonna pull away, right? Oh, God, I'll go talk to her. Well... Hey. We're gonna go compete for the cup. Couldn't get any more volunteers? You gonna come and watch us kick some heinie? Oh, well, maybe I will, honey, if I get everybody fed and... I'm sorry. No. Mmm. OK, guys. Come on, let's go. Come on, Dad. Yeah. And I'm sorry, too. Oh. (SIGHS) Did Dad go? Yep, with Kyle and Nigel. (SQUEAKS) Hey, Chiseler's got my wallet! Whoa, check it out. Must have an escape hatch. Look at all this stuff. That's mine from like the 80s. Goodness. Be careful. Careful. Ohh, honey, let me see that. Oh! Look at this. It's our old team flag. We lost to the Murtaughs by two points. Yeah, cos Mom fell in the sack race. Daddy carried me all the way home. A lot of memories. He wants to be a part of every single one of them. That's why he's having a hard time letting go. But one thing for sure, no matter if he's in a good mood or a bad mood, you're his favourite team. And left. And right. And left. And right. And left. And... The Bakers. (MILITARY STYLE MUSIC) What gives, Tom? Couldn't rally your team? It's all I've got but it's enough to take you down, Murtaugh. (LAUGHS) Are you kidding me? You'll be lucky to beat the Doobners. Come on, big daddy. Shake it out. We'll see. Come on, guys. We'll see. Ladies and gentlemen, here we go. Welcome to the 46th annual Lake Winnetka Labour Day Cup. (APPLAUSE) Now, we have seven families competing in ten events today. The family winning the most events will win the cup. Simple enough. Let's get to it. Contestants, here we go. (APPLAUSE) OK, guys, let's do this, huh? < (HORN SOUNDS) Dad! Hi, Dad! Got you! There's our team! There's our team! Hey! Honey. Oh. You can't keep the varsity down. I promise never to go on a date with you and Elliot again. Hey, Murtaugh! This is our year! Come on! Let's see what you got, Tom. OK. I know I've been a jerk all week, but that's old news. (ALL) Yeah! You've got to get loose. Don't let them intimidate you. (ALL) Yeah! You each have a special talent. Use it! (ALL) Yeah! I just want you to do your best. Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? Stop with the nicey nice. Here's the game plan. We're gonna step on their throats and press down until they stop breathing. (ALL) Yeah! Get focused. Stay with the game plan. What would that be? We don't have one. Just - Chin up, charge the mountain! (ALL) Yeah! That's the plan! Break on three. (ALL) One, two, three! (ALL CHEER) # "Holiday" - Madonna (ALL CHEER) Come on! Come on, go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Yes! (ALL CHEER) (GIGGLES) Go! Go! (ALL CHEER) Charge it! Charge it! (ALL CHEER) (ALL GROAN) (ALL CHEER) (BOTH) Do it! Come on! Good job! (ALL GROAN) Eeuw! That's OK! # Holiday... Bull's eye! # Celebrate # Holiday # Celebrate # If we took a holiday... Come on, Charlie! That's it. That's it. Go! Go! # Just one day out of life... (GROANS) # It would be... Yeah! # It would be so nice... Got to be tough, Baker. Got to be tough. What is this?! # We're gonna have a celebration # All across the world... (ALL CHEER) Out. # In every nation... (ALL CHEER) # It's time for the good times # Forget about the bad times, oh, yeah... (ALL CHEER) # One day to come together # To release the pressure... (WHISTLE BLARES) Here we go, Tom. OK, Murtaugh. Look out. Yeah. Ohhh! Not your sport? Go for a jog. # Come on, let's celebrate # Come on, keep up. Ohhh! Reverse. Couldn't have asked for a better day, huh? Whoa! (LAUGHS) Whoa! Look out. Ohh! Whoa! (CROWD GROANS) Ouch. Huhhh. Well, folks, for the first time since 1961, our Labour Day Cup has ended in a tie! (APPLAUSE / ALL CHEER) The Miller family takes third place. To determine second place and our champion, the Bakers and the Murtaughs will have a canoe race from here to the state forest end of the park and back. All family members must participate. Mike. My daughter's due in a week. She can't do that. Tom, maybe you can work something out with Jimmy. Looks like you're gonna have to forfeit, Tom. Well. Erm,... Erm,... Look... She can't do it. So... we're done. Congratulations. OK. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going, Dad. You just pissed off a severely hormonal pregnant woman. Let's do this! (ALL CHEER / APPLAUSE) Are you sure? OK, I need a life jacket. A big one. Go, Bakers! Lorraine, lose those shoes. They're fancy and brand new. What? Yours are the same! No, I'm the mom. I need the height. Look at Jimmy's wife. Take them off. Mom, mine tie my whole outfit together. Stay on the north side of the lake. There's less wind there. Thanks, Murtaugh. You're welcome, Baker. Let's go, superstar. It's supposed to be fun. (MILITARY STYLE MUSIC) Ooh. You ready? Ready. Come on. On your marks. (ALL) Murtaugh! Get set! (ALL) Murtaugh! (GUNSHOT) Oh! (MURTAUGHS) Row! Row! Go, Bakers! Go, Bakers! (MURTAUGHS) Row! Row! Row! Row! Row! Good job! Let's go! (JIMMY) We're gonna with this, Murtaughs! Put some muscle in it, Bakers! Row! Stroke! Row! Come on, superstar! Come on! Not this time, Murtaugh! That's what you think! Row! Row! Row! Row! Row! Row! Come on! I think we're taking on water! It's me. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Nora's water just broke! (ALL YELL) Jimmy! Row! Row! Jimmy! Row. Something's wrong. He's pulling a fast one. Paddle! I don't believe it. What if somebody's hurt? We have a substantial lead. It's a trick. How can you be sure? I don't want to lose, Annie. Now paddle! Stroke! (SCREAMS) OK, everyone calm down. The road's not that far. Can you get us there? Hello, nature boy, remember? Let's go! Row faster! No. Row! Annie, what are you doing? What are you doing, superstar? Paddle! I'm not a superstar, Dad. I'm just a person who's trying to have her own life. And this is not my idea of living. It's yours. Like my tattoo? Annie, get back in this boat. You're gonna have to win without me, too. Elliot, don't you dare. Don't. I'm outta here. Kenneth! Not cool, Dad. Becky, don't you - You've got to lighten up. Daniel! We like the Bakers. Yeah, Dad. Lisa? Robin? OK, that's it. You know what? You kids are gonna be cut off. No more charge accounts. (SIGHS) Think about it! What is wrong with you? I want to win! You don't get it, Sarina! It's not me! It's him! It's Tom! He was always the popular one, the one everybody liked! Everybody. All the girls liked him. All the parents liked him. My own father even liked him better! That was 18 years before I was born! Get over it! Your kids are trying to tell you something. Unless you want to look for wife number four, you'd better listen. Now paddle. Let's go! Let's go! Nora, are you OK? 50 cents says it's a girl. I'll take that bet. I'm in. Hold on. I've got you! Oh, Mom! Alright. I've got you, I've got you. OK. OK. How you feeling? Cramping a little. How long? A couple of times so far. (BREATHES LAMAZE STYLE) I think I'm gonna be sick. Ow! Pay attention to her! Is she OK? Yeah. She's delivering lakeside, but, yeah. Did you swim here? Hey! What's going on? Nora's having her baby. Got to get her to hospital. What can I do? Honey, you can help with Nora. Mark's on point. I know the area. My dad forced me to do a topographical map of this area for no apparent reason. That's my boy. Lead the way, Kenneth Murtaugh. My dad's let me have almost every animal, which makes me an expert at scouting scat trails. That's my boy. Show us the way. I'll find a scat trail to follow. What's scat? Animal poop. Cool! We're following poop! OK, I'm a little competitive. I know. Go! Go! Guys, this way. Yeah. Whoa. OK. OK. Whoa! Are you OK? (ALL CHATTER) Slow down. We did it! Come on, guys! Hurry up! Come on! Come, guys, this way. Come on! Come on, hurry up! I'll take it from here. I've got her. OK. Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! My daughter's about to deliver. I don't want her to feel any pain. I don't care if she doesn't remember a thing. I want the baby to be healthy. Got it? Good. Could I get you to fill - I don't think so. I wouldn't mess with her. Yeah, what she said. Right. (ALL YELL) Wow! Shh! She's having a baby! (ALL YELL) Everything's fine! Stay calm! Can we get a chair? Put me in a wheelchair. It's alright. Get the chair! (ALL TALK) Oh, my God. Good luck! (ALL TALK) It must be this way! (ALL TALK) That way. Family only in the delivery room. Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're all family? (ALL) Yeah! Help me out here. I'm her mother. Of course. Let's go, please. Kate? Do your thing. OK, come on, let's go. Tom, we'd like Lorraine to come with us. We want you to be the godmother. Really? Yeah. Whoa, having a baby here! Wow! We'll try to get you a linebacker. Come on, everybody. This is a hospital. You guys have to be quiet. Got it? Tom? Do you mind if we wait with you? That would be great. OK. They're good kids, Jimmy. All of them. And you're saying we have nothing to do with it? They're born hardwired. Look what we found! Check it out! Hey! Just be sure to disinfect them. It's a bedpan. Take it off. Your kid gets my kid to wear a bedpan. You're saying - I didn't tell him to do it. (BOTH CONTINUE TO ARGUE) That is the way... Hey. Hey. You look like you have something to say. I'm done with the city, Dad. I'm gonna open up my own garage and I'm moving up here this fall. I want to honour at art classes at Madison. Pardon me? Dad, I want to be an artist. I don't think that's gonna happen. You do, do, do. Jimmy. Although, it does sound pretty exciting. Sweetheart, is this what you really want? I'm sure. You know, Annie, I was just trying to be a good father. (I know.) What do you think? You've got your mind made up? I do. Are you OK with that? Yeah, I think I am. Excuse me, Tom? You want to meet your grandson? Yeah. You did a good job, honey. A really good job. That's a big boy. Too bad he wasn't there to help us win the cup. He'll get a chance. Mike Romano gave me a deal. Now we own the big house at the lake. It's gonna be nice having you in the neighbourhood, Bud. You Murtaughs better start cranking out grandkids if you wanna compete. (ALL LAUGH) Shhh, you guys. My godchild's trying to snooze. So,... any ideas on names? I think we're gonna go with Tom. Cos you taught us that there's no way to be a perfect parent. But a million ways to be a really good one. And you're about as good as they get. Say hi to Grandpa. Go on. OK. (You're so beautiful.) Tom? Hey, Tom. Welcome to family. # "Sunday Morning" - Maroon 5 # Yeah # Ohh, ohhh... Bye, Nora. Bye, Bud. Bye Nora. # Sunday morning rain is falling... 'Letting go is the hardest thing you can do as a parent.' 'You have to settle with the past, engage in the present and believe in the future.' 'That vacation at Lake Winnetka reminded Tom and me we're always learning as parents and that the bond is forever.' 'Even as the kids grow up and venture out on their own, we'll always be with them and they'll always be with us.' 'Because life is a voyage that's homeward bound.' # That someday it will lead me back to you # That someday it will lead me back to you # That maybe all I need # In darkness she is all I see # Come and rest your bones with me # Driving slow on Sunday morning # Now I never want to leave # My fingers trace your every outline # Yeah # # "Express Yourself" - Jason Mraz # Express yourself... (ALL LAUGH) Come on. # Express yourself... Oh. Oh. Oh. Hey. # You don't ever need help... (CHUCKLES) # From nobody else # Cos all you got to do now... Is this my real face? (BOTH) Yay! Hi, pooh-pooh. You want a treat? Ohhh! Oomph! Ah! (LAUGHS) Can I redo that? # Everybody on the floor now... What are we gonna do? (GIGGLES) She'll never walk again, I'll tell you that! # Let the horns tootin' do their thing (SAXOPHONE) # Ah (SAXOPHONE) # Oooh! (SAXOPHONE) # Hah, hah (SAXOPHONE) # Hey, now (SAXOPHONE) # Oh, yeah (SAXOPHONE) # Watch it, y'all (SAXOPHONE) # Some people have everything # And other people don't # But everything don't mean a thing well, if it ain't the thing you want # Express yourself! # Ah, ah, yeah # Express yourself! # Oh # Oh, do it, do it, do it, do it, yeah # Do do to it, do, do, do it now # Do what you can, do what you know, know # Bet your ma's doing it, everybody wants to do it now # Express yourself # Ohhh, yeah # Express yourself # Alright # Do-do, do-do, do-do, you can # Ex... press your... self # Now, hah, hah # Oh, ex... press your... self # Don't settle for nothing less # Oh, ex... press your... self # Come on, yeah, get it on # Ex... press your... se-e-e-e-elf now! # Hah, that's right # Oh, hah, hah # Well, express yourself now # Oh, well, express yourself # Oh # Cos you can do it # Oh, express yourself, yeah # Ah # Able 2015