I hate scary movies. I should be studying. I got a bio to do. Baby, the tickets were free. Free. Sandra Bullock is playing down the street. Nobody will pay 7.50 to see Sandra Bullock shit. Unless she naked. Unless she naked. But you will sit through a movie called Stab? It's adrenaline, Maureen. It's good to be scared. It's primal. I'll tell you what it is. It's a dumb-ass white movie, about dumb-ass white girls getting their white asses cut the fuck up. getting their white asses cut the fuck up. Sandra Bullock is Miss Ethnicity(?) The horror genre excludes the African American element. When did you get your PhD in black cinema, sister soldier? I read my Entertainment Weekly. I know my shit. I read my Black Beat, too, homey. Do you have an all-black movie? Black cast? Black eyes? Black-eye peas? Black cats? Hi. What's this? What's this? Stab souvenirs, the studio sent them. And it's white. Thanks. (LAUGHTER) (AUDIENCE: MOCK SCREAMING) Kill, kill, kill! Very romantic(!) 'RED RIGHT HAND' BY NICK CAVE PLAYS Oh! (LIGHTNING) (AUDIENCE SCREAMS & LAUGHS) (WHOOPS & APPLAUSE) (SAUCY WHOOPS) (THUNDER & LIGHTNING) Take it off! (CHEERS) Why does she have to be naked? What is that to do with the plot, her being butt-ass naked. What is that to do with the plot, her being butt-ass naked. I don't know, but I got a stiffy. You better loosen up that wrist. You better loosen up that wrist. (SPARSE APPLAUSE) "(PHONE RINGS)" (DISAPPOINTED CRIES) (SCREAMING) "(PHONE RINGS / LIGHTNING)" (SCREAMING SUBSIDES) "Hello." "(SINISTER) Hello." "Who is this?" "Who is this?" "Guess." "No, really. Who is this?" "No, really. Who is this?" "Were you expecting somebody?" "(POPPING)" "No..." Bitch, hang the phone up and star 69 his ass! Bitch, hang the phone up and star 69 his ass! Sssh! "Who is this?" "Who is this?" "Who would you like it to be?" "Who is this?" "Who would you like it to be?" "I don't like games. Who is this?" (SCREAMING) "Look out back. Do you see your boyfriend anywhere?" "I don't have a boyfriend." "Would you like one?" Give me some money. I want popcorn. You got money. You got money. I got my money, I asked for your money. "What do you say?" Thank you. "Come on, cat got your tongue?" "I don't even know you, and I dislike you." (SCREAMING FROM AUDITORIUM) (RELIEVED SIGH) (GASPS) (GIRLS SQUEAL EXCITEDLY) Hello. Hi. Erm, medium popcorn, no butter, and a small diet Pepsi. You got it. You got it. Thanks. I am not going back in. Come on, chicken shit, it's just a movie. Come on, chicken shit, it's just a movie. No, it's a true story. Kids got killed a few years ago in California. Kids got killed a few years ago in California. Thanks. I was so scared I almost had a heart attack. Raaaaargh! I'll stab you, man. Raaaarrrgh! (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) (LAUGHS) You ass! Sorry, I had to, baby. Sorry, I had to, baby. Why are you playing? Sorry, I had to, baby. Why are you playing? Would you relax? What's with you? What's with you? I don't like being scared. What's with you? I don't like being scared. Baby, it's just a movie. Besides, scary movies are great foreplay. Excuse me? Lets go see Sandra Bullock. Lets go see Sandra Bullock. No, Sandra has started already. We can stay. Just stop playing so much. Alright. I gotta go to the bathroom. See you inside. (PETRIFIED SCREAMING) (SCREAMING) Sorry. Hello? (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE MURMURS) (SNIGGERS) (INDISTINCT WHISPERING) (SPLUTTERS) No, no! Don't do that! Move, move! Go! Baby, give it up. You came back just in time. She's about to get it. Popcorn? Uh-uh. If that was me, I'd be out of there. (SQUEALS) Here it comes! Here it comes! (SCREAMS) "(SCREAMS & GROANS)" "(STABBING BLADE)" "(SCREAMS)" "(HYSTERICAL SCREAMING)" (BLADE SWISHES) (SCREAMS) "(SCREAMS)" (BLADE SWISHES) "(SCREAMS)" (AUDIENCE: FRENZIED HYSTERIA) (SAVAGE ROAR) (BLADE SWISHES) (AUDIENCE: FRENZIED HYSTERIA) (WHIMPERS) (BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM) (WHIMPERS) (AUDIENCE: HYSTERIA SUBSIDES) (BLADE SWISHES) (GENTLE MUSIC) # Oh... # This could be your lucky day # In hell # Never knew who it might be at your doorbell (PHONE RINGS) # This could be your lucky day # In hell, in hell... # (PHONE RINGS) Hello. Hello? "(SINISTER VOICE) Hello, Sidney." "(SINISTER VOICE) Hello, Sidney." (YAWNS) Yes? "What's your favourite scary movie?" "What's your favourite scary movie?" Who is this? "What's your favourite scary movie?" Who is this? "You tell me." Cory Gillis, 555-0176. "Shit!" Hot flash. Prank calls are a criminal offence prosecuted under penal code 653M." (DIAL TONE) (DIAL TONE) "Hope you enjoyed the movie." (DIAL TONE) "Hope you enjoyed the movie." Time to change numbers again? Not yet. It's opening weekend. We'll see how it goes. OK. (TV) "It's not easy being accused of a crime you didn't commit, particularly murder." "How are you treated now it's known you're innocent?" "Most people are cool. Some still keep a safe distance." "That's odd for me, being a people person." "You've been fully exonerated." "That and a nickel gets you a coffee. Well, it used to." "That and a nickel gets you a coffee. Well, it used to." "(LAUGHTER)" "Gale Weathers' book, and now the movie, set the record straight." "Yeah... Gale's been terrific." Hey! Move your ass, you're late. Don't forget about the routine mixer at the Delta Lambda Zetas. Don't forget about the routine mixer at the Delta Lambda Zetas. I don't think I can make it, Hal. What?! Don't even try to bag. You promised me. A vague promise. A vague promise. Then don't join. Just party, meet the girls. I don't like organised religion. I don't like organised religion. It's a sorority. I don't like organised religion. It's a sorority. Worse. Look, Sid, lower the walls. This self-induced isolation is not healthy. I'm fine. I'm fine. "I'm fine." Yes, "I'm fine" is stretched tightly across your face. Check out the news. "Two students were murdered last night, during a sneak preview of the movie, Stab." "Police have only released their names." "A press conference is scheduled." "The victims were both Windsor seniors." Where's Randy? Where's Randy? He has film theory this morning. (REPORTERS) Sidney! Sidney! Sidney! Did you know the victims? Will there be more murders? Will there be more murders? What can you tell us about the victims? We just need one statement. What happened is a direct result of the movie. That is so moral majority. You can't blame it on entertainment. That is so moral majority. You can't blame it on entertainment. You can. Don't you watch the news? Hello? The murderer wore a mask. The movie's responsible. We are responsible for our actions. We are responsible for our actions. It's a classic case ` life imitates art, imitates life. It's not about theory or art. I had biology with the girl. This is reality. I had biology with the girl. This is reality. Thank you, I agree. Let me tell you about reality. I lived through this. Life doesn't imitate anything. Life doesn't imitate anything. Come on, the killer obviously patterned himself after two serial killers who've been immortalised. So someone's trying to make a real-life sequel? So someone's trying to make a real-life sequel? Stab 2? Who'd want to? Sequel's suck! Sequel's suck! (DISSENT) Sequel's suck! (DISSENT) Please! They are inferior films. Bullshit! Many sequels surpass the originals. Yeah? Name one. Name one. Aliens. Far better. There's no accounting for taste. There's no accounting for taste. Ridley Scott rules. Another. There's no accounting for taste. Ridley Scott rules. Another. No. Aliens is a classic. "Get away from her, you bitch." "Get away from her, you bitch." It's "Stay away from her." This is film class? (LAUGHTER) You know what I mean. You know what I mean. Another. You know what I mean. Another. T-2. You got a hard on for Cameron. You got a hard on for Cameron. A big one. The first Terminator is historical. "Sarah Conner?" "Yes?" (MIMICS GUNSHOT) "Sarah Conner?" "Yes?" (MIMICS GUNSHOT) (LAUGHTER) Alright, House 2, the Second Story. (CLASS DISSENT) What? The entire horror genre was destroyed by sequels. I got it, by the way, I got it. The Godfather Part II. (APPROVING MURMURS) (MIMICS BRANDO) That's very good. An Oscar-winning exception. (MIMICS BRANDO) That's very good. An Oscar-winning exception. (LAUGHTER) OK, that's enough. That's a wrap. The sequel discussion to be continued. (JOVIAL LAUGHTER) So, Mr Originality, how would you make it different? So, Mr Originality, how would you make it different? I'd let the geek get the girl. 300 people watched. They thought it was a publicity stunt. They thought it was a publicity stunt. (COCKNEY) It'd be a good one. It's starting again. It's starting again. No. Shit happens at the movies. People get robbed, murdered. The multiplex is a dangerous place. You're in extreme denial. You're in extreme denial. You should be. This is not about us. A guy in a mask hacked up people watching a movie about our life story. You know what happened in Woodsboro. You can't ignore it. You know what happened in Woodsboro. You can't ignore it. I just don't want to go back there. Can't we go back to our pseudo-quasi happy existence? Derek. Can't we go back to our pseudo-quasi happy existence? Derek. Sid, you weren't in class. I know. I couldn't take all the "that's her" looks. Anything I can do? Anything I can do? Got any tricks to return us to a pseudo-quasi happy existence? I might just have one for that. Oh, yeah? What is it? That was pretty good. (Get a room.) 1 Threatening to what? You're kidding! It'd be stupid to pull this movie. All this free press. It'll break box-office records. "We need that interview." "We need that interview." Consider it done. Miss Weathers! I'm Joel, I'm the new cameraman. You experienced? You experienced? I'm local, but I shot the bingo finals. Almost got an award. This is how it works. I point, you shoot. Stay focused and we'll be fine. You're playing with the big boys now. You're playing with the big boys now. Got it. Got you covered. Don't worry. How hard can it be? You point, I shoot. Could I have a minute? Could I have a minute? No. Just one second? You must get this a lot, but I'm a big fan of yours. I couldn't put your book down. Insightful, probing. I really loved it. Thank you. I'm a writer myself. I write for the local paper. I'm Debbie Salt. I took your seminar in Chicago. I was the one asking all the questions. I thought you looked familiar. I thought you looked familiar. Thanks. Can't wait to see the movie. You must be getting a lot of flak, with all the violence issues? What is your position? No comment. No comment. It'd be such an honour if could get a quote for my story. OK, begin quote. OK, begin quote. Great. "Your flattering remarks are desperate and obvious." End quote. Are these murders connected? (TAPPING ON MICROPHONE) Can I have your attention? My name is Chief Louis Hartley. My name is Chief Louis Hartley. Chief... Gale Weathers. D'you think the killer will strike again? We have no evidence that this is a serial killer. I- What precautions are you taking? Well, we think it's an isolated incident. (DISTANT) We'll be carrying out... Oh my God, this is huge. Do you have any suspects? Sidney, it's Gale Weathers. Sidney, it's Gale Weathers. What? Starring in the Gale Weathers Press Conference, soon to be a major motion picture. Be kind, she saved our lives. Be kind, she saved our lives. She had calf implants. Will you give the town a curfew? I'm gonna get closer. So, that's her? So, that's her? Yeah. Hello, girls. Hello, girls. Sister Lois, Sister Murphy. Hello, girls. Sister Lois, Sister Murphy. Hello, Pledge. Hi, Sidney. Hey. This must be hell for you. How are you holding up? This must be hell for you. How are you holding up? I manage. It's weird, isn't it? All this fuss because of you. Not directly, but in a six-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon way. Hallie, are you bringing your friend to our little martini mixer? I have work- I have work- We'll be there. I have work- We'll be there. Good. Sid, we have our eyes on you. Hang in there. If we can do anything... The Delta Lambdas are sensitive to your plight. The Delta Lambdas are sensitive to your plight. Yeah. Bye. Will you dress like that when you get in? Will you dress like that when you get in? That won't happen. The Delta Lambdas are the biggest bunch of fucking- Hey, I'm pledging Delta Lambda, thank you! Oh, my God. Who's that? Dewey?! Hey! What are you doing here? (LAUGHS) I was worried about you. I heard what happened, I was on the next plane. Can we talk? Can we talk? Yeah. Are you OK? I'm fine, Dewey. Or I was. Things were OK until now. But, er, theatre's going great. I got my first starring role. We open in two days. I got my first starring role. We open in two days. Great. Yeah, I'm loving it. I have some great friends. I'm seeing someone. Nice guy, pre-med, no apparent psychotic tendencies. I was just worried. If a freaked-out psycho is trying to follow in Billy Loomis' footsteps, you probably already know him. Or her. Or them. They're probably already in your life. They get off on that. I just want you to be careful, Sid. Ah, d'you think I don't know that, Dewey? What am I supposed to do? Cut everybody off, crawl under a rock? What? (SIGHS) Just watch out. Keep an eye out. I'm gonna talk to Chief Hartley and the local police. I'm gonna just hang around. I wanna make sure you're safe. If that's alright with you. Yeah. Hey. Hey, you OK? A-huh. Who was that guy? An old friend. An old friend. Deputy Dewey. Why's he here? He's worried. Our surrogate big brother. A funeral brings the family together. I'll go say hi. Chief Hartley said the girl was stabbed seven- Chief Hartley said the girl was stabbed seven- Drop it. Hello, Sidney. How are you? Hi. What do you want, Gale? I was hoping I might get just a few words with you. Cotton. Hi, Sidney. We're here with Sidney Prescott and Cotton Weary, who she wrongly accused of murdering her mother. What are you doing? What are you doing? How do you feel? Tell us about the last two years. Sidney, I'd like to forgive and forget. Like you, I want to get back on with my life. Any comments? Any comments? You bitch! Any comments? You bitch! Ah-ah. Oh, Sidney, share with us, please. I'll share with you! I'll share with you! OK, OK. Did you get that on film? Did you get that on film? (SQUEAKY) Yes, I got that on film. Sid? Wait, where is she going, Gale? Sidney! Where is she going? We had an official interview. What's going on? She didn't know? That was cold. That was cold. Check your conscience at the door, sweetie. We're not here to be loved. You promised me 10 minutes of national coverage. You'll get them when I get my goddamned interview! You'll get them when I get my goddamned interview! Don't walk away. I'm still... Gale, I did my part. Joel! Dewey. What are you doing here? Why don't you leave her alone? Hasn't she been through enough? And my name is Dwight. I'm just doing my job, Dwight. No matter who gets hurt in the process? Hey, who got punched here, again? I don't condone violence, but maybe you deserved it. Page 32. "Deputy Dewey filled the room with his Barney Fifish presence." You read my book. You read my book. Yes, I do read. Dewey, don't take it so seriously. It's a character. Page 41,... "Deputy Dewey oozed with inexperience." Don't you think you're overreacting? No, I think you're a money-hungry, fame-seeking, and forgive me for saying, mediocre writer, who has a cold-storage shed for a heart. No offence intended. Dewey, I never meant- My dim-witted appearance could be a facade used to lower expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to effectively manoeuvre within any situation! I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. Except... I'm sorry. No. I'm the one that's sorry. I misjudged you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some oozing to do. One more thing. Nice streaks. Well! (POUNDING ROCK MUSIC) (LAUGHTER & PARTY CHATTER) I am not a sorority pusher. But despite its trivialities, it's a life-affirming, mentally-stable environment for you. Look at this place. Look at this place. You're taking your psych major too seriously. I'm fine. That's becoming your theme song. "I'm fine." Fucked up, insecure and neurotic. Sidney, you made it. Sidney, you made it. Hi. No, I really mean that. Hi. Hi. Hi. Do you girls want a drink? Actually, yeah, but we'll get it ourselves. (OWL HOOTS) "Are they still together?" "I haven't seen it in weeks." No, Sarah found out that Bailey slept with Gwen. She dumped him. She dumped him. "I wish she'd get her shit together." (BLEEPING) Hold on, someone's calling. Omega Beta Zeta. Omega Beta Zeta. (SINISTER) "Hello." Omega Beta Zeta. (SINISTER) "Hello." Yes? "Who is this?" "Who is this?" Cici. Who's this? "Who do you think?" "Who do you think?" Ted? Where are you? Are you drinking? Hold on. It's Ted. He sounds drunk. I'll call you back. "That shit only calls when he's drunk. Don't go over there." "That shit only calls when he's drunk. Don't go over there." OK, OK, I'll call you back. Ted, you sound loaded. What's up? "Who's Ted?" Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else. Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else. "That's OK. I am." Who are you calling for? Nobody's here. "Where is everybody?" "Where is everybody?" We're co-sponsoring the acid-rain mixer. "You're not there?" "You're not there?" I'm sober sister. I'm here in case a drunk sister needs a ride. I'm here in case a drunk sister needs a ride. "Shame." "Drink with your brain." That's our motto. Who do you want? "Drink with your brain." That's our motto. Who do you want? What if I said you? What if I said goodbye? What if I said goodbye? Why would you wanna do that? Why do you always answer a question with a question? Why do you always answer a question with a question? "I'm inquisitive." I'm impatient. Do you want to leave a message? "Do you want to die tonight, Cici?" (CALL-WAITING BEEP) Omega Beta Zeta. "Was it Teddy?" "Was it Teddy?" No, it was some asshole trying to scare me. "Stab's bringing out the crazies." "Stab's bringing out the crazies." (CLATTERING) Shit... Shit... "What is it?" I heard a noise. I heard a noise. "Where?" I heard a noise. "Where?" Upstairs. (CLATTERING) Shit! 1 Hello? "(Kill, kill. Die, die.)" "(Kill, kill. Die, die.)" Hello?! Stop it! Stop it! (LAUGHS) I can't believe you're alone. I don't think I am. I don't think I am. (CREAKING) I'm outta here. (STATIC) "You're breaking up. Where are you?" (STATIC) "You're breaking up. Where are you?" Outside. "Don't panic. Call Campus Security." "Don't panic. Call Campus Security." OK. (BLEEPING) "Campus Security." (STATIC) Hi, I'm calling- Hi, I'm calling- "Can't hear you. Hello? Hello?" Can you hear me now? (STATIC / DIAL TONE) (STATIC / DIAL TONE) Shit! "Campus Security." "Campus Security." Yes, I'm calling... "Campus Security." Yes, I'm calling... (STATIC) "I can't hear you. Hello." I'm calling from the Omega Beta Zeta house. Someone's harassing me. Hello? Someone's harassing me. Hello? (DIAL TONE) Shit! Someone's harassing me. Hello? (DIAL TONE) Shit! Hey! Jesus, Dawnie, you scared me. Jesus, Dawnie, you scared me. Sorry. Did anyone call for me? What are you doing here? What are you doing here? I live here. What are you doing here? I live here. I thought you were at the mixer. I had to change. I'm out of here. (PHONE RINGS) Omega Beta Zeta. "Is Cici there?" "Is Cici there?" Who's calling? "Is Cici there?" Who's calling? "It's Ted." It's your ill-conceived boyfriend. I'll see you later. Don't forget to set the alarm. Hello, Ted. Hello, Ted. "You wish it was Ted!" "Don't forget to set the alarm." (DOG BARKS) (BANGING) (DOG BARKS) (PHONE RINGS) Hello? Raaaargh! Raaaargh! (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) (ALARM WAILS) (SCREAMS) No! Please! No! No! Please! No! (ROARS) (SCREAMS) NOOOOOOO! (BODY THUDS / ALARM WAILS / BARKING) # Never said I was innocent # For the things I've done to you # Never said I was anything good... # (PARTY CHATTER & LAUGHTER) Everyone thinks sororities are about blow jobs. It's not true. Everyone thinks sororities are about blow jobs. It's not true. We promote safe sex. We're about love, respect and responsibility. We're about love, respect and responsibility. Harmonica style is OK, right? Yeah! Cocktails? What took you so long? What took you so long? Derek is a Delta Lambda big brother. What took you so long? Derek is a Delta Lambda big brother. We like to keep it in the family. Wow, you girls have given me a lot to think about. Thanks. It's working. It's working. Hey, baby, wanna dance? Hey, baby, wanna dance? I'd love to. With that tall wide-shouldered boy. Can you arrange that? That hurts. Empire Strikes Back. Better story. Not a sequel. Part of a trilogy, all planned. Not a sequel. Part of a trilogy, all planned. I like the furry things. Ewoks... They blow. Ewoks... They blow. Hey. How you doing? Are the twits being nice to you? How you doing? Are the twits being nice to you? Painfully nice. I take it you won't be pledging Delta Lambda Zeta. I think not. I think not. Crushed. (SIRENS) (SIRENS) Something's up. Police are everywhere. Hurry! (EXCITED CHATTER) (EXCITED CHATTER) Let's go! (SIRENS WAIL / TYRES SCREECH) What a way to break up a party. What a way to break up a party. Shit, I should've brought my drink. 'RED RIGHT HAND' BY NICK CAVE PLAYS Death by blood trauma and double stab wound. So, it's definitely not suicide. Thank you. Gale, you're here. It's not good. Single victim. Sorority girl. I gotta go, I have a deadline. Joel, let's go. Joel, let's go. In... in a minute. It's happening again, isn't it? You'd love that, wouldn't you? Better hurry. You might get scooped. Move it, Joel! I have to be honest with you. I'm not cut out for this. I was supposed to do an interview, not Faces of Death 14. I was supposed to do an interview, not Faces of Death 14. Do not fuck with me. Come on, get your jacket. Let's get you home. Yeah. (PHONE RINGS) (PHONE RINGS) Are you about ready? (PHONE RINGS) Almost. Hello? "(SINISTER) Hello, Sidney. Remember me?" What do you want? What do you want? "I want you. It's show time." Then show your face, you fucking coward! My pleasure. My pleasure. (SCREAMS) DEREK! (SIREN WAILS) (SIREN WAILS) Sid! Sid! Derek! Open up! (BANGS ON DOOR) Open up! (BANGS ON DOOR) (SCREAMS) Whoa... Sid! (PANICKED GASPS) (BREATHLESS) (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) It's me! Are you OK? Yeah. No, Derek, don't! Sid! Dewey! The killer's in there, and Derek. (GLASS SHATTERS) (EERIE SILENCE) Are you alright? Are you alright? He went that way. Are you alright? He went that way. Sidney, he's in here! Is everything OK? He got me. Apply pressure. Apply pressure. (PAINED GROANS) The police are on their way. You might only drive short distances to work each day. You might park securely at work. You may not drive your car to work at all. At Youi, we tailor your insurance premium to how you use or don't use your car. It could save you lots. Call: 1 Thanks for your cooperation. Hallie, I'll be with you soon. No problem. Easiest interrogation of my crime-filled life. I'm going to get a cup of coffee. Do you want? You want some, Sid? How are you doing? Are you alright? How are you doing? Are you alright? Not at all. You know, I knew this was coming. I knew this wasn't over. You are not alone, Sid. We are all here for you. Alright. Whatever you need. Poor girl. I know, it's crazy. Derek could've been killed. But he wasn't. He is fine. He just needs to realise the 90s is no time to play hero. Why would anyone go back in that house anyway? I went around the back and ran into Sid. She told me the killer was inside. I went in... Argh! You're lucky there's no nerve damage. You will have to take it easy. You went back inside the house? You went back inside the house? Yeah. No struggling, he cut you and ran? You're lucky he didn't kill you. No struggling, he cut you and ran? You're lucky he didn't kill you. It's convenient. Say what? Say what? Nothing. It's a shame he got away so easily. It's a shame he got away so easily. It's a shame you got there too late. Right after he disappeared. Yeah, it is. We got three victims. Maureen Evans, Phil Stevens, and Cici Cooper. Is Cici the girl's real name? No, it's Casey. Casey Cooper. As in Casey Becker? Excuse me? Excuse me? She was a victim in Woodsboro. As well as her boyfriend, Steven Orth. As in Phil Stevens. Maureen Evans. Maureen Prescott. Sidney's mother. Someone's trying to duplicate Woodsboro? Someone's trying to duplicate Woodsboro? It looks like it. I think you have a copycat on your hands, Chief. I think you have a copycat on your hands, Chief. Jesus Christ. How are you keeping Sidney safe? I got my two best detectives guarding her. Do these guys have to follow you everywhere? Oh, we're attached at the hip. How will I ever get you alone? To be honest, Derek, it would be in your best interest to stay as far away from me as possible. I hope that's an off-the-cuff remark that holds no subtext whatsoever. No, actually,... I mean it. I mean, look at you, you already got hurt. I don't want to see it happen again. I'll take my chances. I'll take my chances. Derek, I'm serious. This is serious. You are concerned with my personal well-being and... not with trusting me or anything. Right? Like I said, I don't want to see you get hurt. I don't want to see you get hurt. OK, Sid? Take care, Miss Weathers. Dewey. Chief. Hi. I'm headed over to admissions to do some leg work. You game? I'm not here to write a book, Miss Weathers. I am here to help Sid. I want to help her, too. And help myself, of course. Come on, Dewey. Smile just once, please. I'll smile when I catch the killer. Gale... Gale... Has Sidney's father been ruled out? He's out of the country. That sounds fishy. Don't you think? He's out of the country. That sounds fishy. Don't you think? I'm not here to do your job. What about this ex-cop, Dewey Riley? It's strange he showed up. What about this ex-cop, Dewey Riley? It's strange he showed up. Dewey's a good guy. Unlike some of us. Really? It just seems to me that if this is a copycat of Woodsboro, it's possible the killer is from Woodsboro, that's all. Derek, would Sid let me interview her for my documentary? Derek, would Sid let me interview her for my documentary? Yeah(!) She turned down Primetime Live, and Dateline, but for you, yeah! Drop it. Drop it. These murders, how about Randy? What?! An innocent victim first time round, but he is a little off. An innocent victim first time round, but he is a little off. Randy? He's harmless. That's what they said about Dahmer. Guys, keep it down. What's up, Sid? Hey, Sid. How's it going? Where are the Secret Service guys? How's it going? Where are the Secret Service guys? Over there. Which one is Kevin Costner? On the right is Officer Richards. He is a Capricorn. Divorced, father of two. On the left is Officer Andrews. He is a Gemini. Single, but I think he's gay. (MOUTHS) Really? (MOUTHS) Really? Mm-hmm. Derek, a penny for your thoughts? This morning, I woke up with this feeling I didn't know how to deal with. (BEGINS SINGING) # And so I just decided to myself # I'd hide it to myself... What is he doing? What is he doing? Tom Cruise, Top Gun, 1986. Don't. # When you walked into the room I think I love you... Don't. # I think I love you! Isn't that what life is made of? # Though it worries me to say I've never felt this way # Hey, I think I love you! (RHYTHMIC CLAPPING) # So what am I so afraid of? # I'm afraid that I'm not sure of # A love there is no cure for # I think I love you # Isn't that what life is made of? # And though it worries me to say it... (WHOOPING) # I've never felt this way! # Believe me, you don't have to worry! # I only want to make you happy # And if you say, "Hey, go away!" I will # But I think better still # I'd better stick around and love you... (GIRLS LAUGH) # Let me ask you to your face do you really love me? # Because I think I love you! # (APPLAUSE & WHOOPING) Come on, people, let's show a little love, huh? (CAFETERIA HYSTERIA SUBSIDES) Don't worry, Sid. I know things are a little crazy. Isn't that a big, frat faux pas? Oh, yeah. You don't give your Greek letters to your girl. No way. The Brothers will kick his ass. But it's tradition. The Brothers will kick his ass. But it's tradition. Tradition. It's good luck. It'll protect you. (CAFETERIA: APPLAUSE & CHEERING) "Tell us about this part you are getting rave reviews for." "Tell us about this part you are getting rave reviews for." "I play Sidney Prescott." "She discovers her boyfriend's a serial killer, who killed her mother." "How did you research the part?" "How did you research the part?" "I read the book." "How did you research the part?" "I read the book." Tori Spelling plays Sid! Joe-Blow nobody plays me. At least you get David Schwimmer. My guy drove Jane Seymour's stagecoach in one episode of Doctor Quinn. "Let's take a peek at Tori Spelling, starring in Stab." "(BREATHLESS)" "Billy, you scared me, what are you doing here?" "They let me go, Sid. I didn't do it. I'm innocent." "They let me go, Sid. I didn't do it. I'm innocent." "I know." "Please." "Please." "Why won't you let me touch you?" "Look, I've been going through a lot. My mom-" "Sid, you need to deal with that and move on." "When my mom left my dad, I accepted it." "That's the way the cookie crumbles. Moms leave." "That's the way the cookie crumbles. Moms leave." "Your mom left town." "She is not buried in the cemetery." "My mom's dead and she's never coming back. Ever." "Stupid." "Stupid." "Oh, I love scary movies." I'll wait for video. OK, down to business. Someone's out to make a sequel. It's our job to observe the rules of a sequel. One, the body count is always bigger. Two, the death scenes are more elaborate. More blood. Carnage Candy. Your core audience expects it. Three, if you want it to become a franchise, never- How do we find the killer? Let's look at the suspects. There's Derek, the boyfriend. Hello, Billy Loomis! He's pre-med. His wound conveniently missed every major vein. You think it's Derek? You think it's Derek? Not so fast. Assume the killer or "ers" has half a brain. He's not a Nick at Night re-run guy. He wants to break new ground. Forget the boyfriend, it's tired. Who else do we got? Forget the boyfriend, it's tired. Who else do we got? There's... Mickey! The freaky Tarantino film student. But if he's a suspect, so am I. So, let's move on. Let's not. Maybe you are a suspect. Well, if I'm a suspect, you are. You have a point. OK, let's move on to...? Hallie. Hallie. Sid's roommate? Serial killers are typically white males. Serial killers are typically white males. Perfect. Against the rules, but not. Mrs Vorhees was a great serial killer. There's Candyman's Daughter. Sweet, deadly, bad for your teeth. Come on, these kids are your friends. Who do you think's the killer? Gale Weathers? Gale Weathers? Gale? A killer? Gale Weathers? Gale? A killer? Why not? She is vicious enough. She is vicious enough. She's an opportunist. She could be planning her next book. That's what reporters do - stage the news. No, she's a lot of things, but not a killer. Just cos you're sweet on her. Just cos you're sweet on her. I'm not. Just cos you're sweet on her. I'm not. This is me talking, Randy. The unrequited love slave of Sidney. I know about obsession. (PATHETICALLY) And pain. (PATHETICALLY) And pain. You've got a love scar to prove it. (PATHETICALLY) And pain. You've got a love scar to prove it. So do you. What's with that limp? You were stabbed in the back. You were stabbed in the back. Severed nerve. Look, Gale is no killer. OK, OK, whatever you say. But if she's not a killer, she's a target. Joel, lets get some establishing shots. Joel, lets get some establishing shots. Can we talk? What is it? What is it? I'm confused. With your track record, why be around a second time? I should've read this before I took this job, but I'm reading it now and whoa! Your last cameraman got gutted. Now me, I'll do what any rational human being would, and get the fuck out of here. and get the fuck out of here. He wasn't gutted. I made that up. His throat was slashed. Gutted, slashed, the guy ain't in the union no more. It's a job. Like every job, there are drawbacks. You're a professional cameraman. Act like one. I want to report news, not be the news. Brothers don't last long in these situations. Brothers don't last long in these situations. This is national TV. Think about it. This is your big chance. The story is monumental. Don't you want to be a part of that? Come on, I need you. I cannot do this without you. Good, come on. Let's get some work done. Yeah, let's go get killed. We've been through this before. You know I think you have potential as an actress. You know I think you have potential as an actress. I know. It's just that with, erm, the murders, and the movie, and my life. I know it's difficult for you. Gus, I just don't think I can do it. The battle for the soul is fought in the forum of art. You're a fighter. That's why you're here. Yeah, I'm a fighter(!) Yeah, I'm a fighter(!) I didn't hear that. I'm a fighter. I'm a fighter. I don't believe you. I don't. I'm a fighter. OK. So, at the risk of sounding like a college drama teacher, if you have pain, use it. This is your role, Sid. Cassandra is one of the great tragic visionaries of literature. She saw it all coming. The wars, the murder, the madness. She knew she was cursed. It was her fate and she embraced it. None of us can avoid our fate, but as an artist you can honestly face it, and fight it. You're good. You're good. There's no understudy, I'm desperate. You can do this. OK, gather around. Third act. Cue the music. Cue the music. (EPIC CLASSICAL MUSIC & STORM SOUND EFFECTS) (CHORUS) Oh, behold the dreaded fate of Troy, That once stood proud and light, Upon the hills of Sparta. Now, shrouded in the deathly smoke of ruin, Her royal children pitched from her walls, Her people driven through her ruins. And now, alone in Fate's cruel isolation stands Cassandra! Her Kingdom, family and friends driven to the wind. No crime against Gods or man, have I committed, save to speak the truth. (ALL) And each hideous vision born from my mind has come to pass. Troy has fallen. Not by my hand, or wish, but as I foresaw. (RUMBLING) So now, Fate's vengeful eye is fixed... on me. (CHORUS) Tell us, oh, Cassandra, where has the sweetness of life gone? What stays Fate's hand from striking now at thee? (CHANT) What stays Fate's hand? What stays Fate's hand? What stay's Fate's hand? What stay's Fate's hand? (BLADES SWISH) (SCREAMING) (BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM) (MUSIC STOPS) Alright, hold it! HOLD IT! Everyone take five. Sidney? (SIGHS EMOTIONALLY) (FOOTSTEPS) Sid, your escort has arrived. Sid, your escort has arrived. How long have you been here? I just got here. What's going on? What happened to Mickey? What happened to Mickey? We swapped. He had to edit. What happened? Derek, don't. Don't... I just... I need to be alone right now, OK? Being alone is not the answer, Sid. Yeah, well, I think it is. I need some distance. Do I get a say in this? (No.) I guess I'm supposed to be... understanding. Yeah. (SNIFFS) You got it. Let's assume it's a Woodsboro copycat. Let's assume it's a Woodsboro copycat. (PHONE RINGS) "I have Bob." "I have Bob." I'll call you back. That doesn't explain Sidney's attack. That doesn't explain Sidney's attack. She wasn't killed in Woodsboro. Not for lack of trying. The killer's trying to finish this. Sid's under protection? Sid's under protection? Yeah. (PHONE RINGS) (PHONE RINGS) What?! "Bob-" I'll call him. When'd she start smoking? Since the nude Internet pictures. Since the nude Internet pictures. It was my head and Jennifer Aniston's body. In Woodsboro there were more victims before the home stretch. Tatum, my cameraman- my cameraman- Time out. I don't need to hear about that. I warn you, I'm a verb away from vacating these premises. I'll get me some coffee, Prozac, crack, Special K, eggs, not Malcolm. I'll be back when you start talking more Saved By The Bell-ish, OK? He seems a little shaky. He seems a little shaky. Don't worry about him. If there's a pattern, we can figure out who's next. If there's a pattern, we can figure out who's next. I wouldn't follow a pattern. We were all involved. It could be any of us. What do we do, bonehead? Sit and wait for who drops next? I don't know,... (PHONE RINGS) I don't know,... (PHONE RINGS) ..phonehead! Gale's not here. Gale's not here. (SINISTER) "Am I interrupting? You look deep in thought." "Ever felt a knife cut through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath? (EVIL LAUGH)" It's him. Who? Who? The killer. He can see us. Keep him on the phone. What do I say? What do I say? I dunno. Keep him talking. Come on, Gale. What are we doing? Er, hi... What are we doing? Er, hi... Look for somebody with a phone. What's your favourite scary movie? What's your favourite scary movie? "You'll never find me." What's your favourite scary movie? "You'll never find me." So, let 'em have their fun. So, er,... what's up? "What's your favourite scary movie?" "What's your favourite scary movie?" Show Girls. Absolutely frightening. What's yours? (GASPS) (GASPS) Sorry. What's your problem? Let me guess, The House on Sorority Row? Dorm that Dripped Blood? Splatter University? Final Exam? Am I close? Am I close? "Closer than you think." Am I close? "Closer than you think." Oh! "Too slow, geek. Do you want to die?" Is that the best you can do? Billy and Stu were more original. Hey! Who's this? "Who's this?" "Who's this?" Gale Weathers, author of The Woodsboro Murders. "Who?" He must be around here someplace. He's just playing with us. White male suspect, nine o'clock. My clock or your clock? My clock or your clock? Your clock. Go around the back. "Why are you even here, Randy?" "You'll never be the leading man." "Fuck you!" "No matter how hard you try you'll never be the hero, and never, ever get the girl." and never, ever get the girl." Shit! Sorry. "Wrong guy, dead boy." Oh, yeah? Let's redirect, Mr I'm So Original, huh? Aaaargh! What the hell are you doing? Can I help you? Can I help you? (FEMALE) "Hello? Hello?" Sorry. Sorry. Beg your pardon. Where's your innovation? Why copycat high-school dickheads? Stu was a pussy-ass wet rag. And Billy Loomis, Billy Loomis! What the fuck? Jesus, what a rat-looking homo-repressed mama's boy. Why not set your goals higher? You want to be one of the big boys? Manson? Bundy? OJ? (SAVAGE ROAR) (MUFFLED) Aaargh! (GHETTO BLASTER DROWNS OUT CRIES) Urgh! (SAVAGE ROAR) Urgh! (BLADE SWISHES) Urgh! Urgh! Urgh! Urgh! Where's Randy? Where's Randy? This guy just grabbed me. I'm OK, Mom. I don't see him. RANDY! What's going on? Yo, man, who broke my window? (SCREAMS) (WHIMPERS) (BELL TOLLS) (SIGHS) (BLEEPING) Did your computer just freeze? You have an instant message. Just hit alt-M. Yeah, but I'm not signed on. Somebody here in the library, all the terminals are connected. (TAPPING KEYS) He's here. Get her away from the computer. It's probably a sick joke. Wait right here. Psst! Sid, are you OK? Cotton. Cotton. Can we talk? Cotton. Can we talk? This isn't a good time. You sent me to prison. I did over a year for you. You can give me two minutes. I'm sorry. Every day I'm sorry. Don't be. Sorry-smorry. I have a solution to our problems. Don't be. Sorry-smorry. I have a solution to our problems. What do you mean? First, forget Gale Weathers. She wouldn't see the story if it smacked her in the head. Have you read that book? Which brings me to my point. Who calls me out of the blue? Diane Sawyer. I was as shocked as you are. If you and I go on air together she'll give us the entire hour. Prime time. You, me, and Diane Sawyer. I can't. I can't. If it's about money, we'll get paid. $10,000 each. Not to mention a 900-number I have. Look- Look- I know. You don't like the press. I know that and I respect it. But, Sidney... (HYSTERICAL LAUGH) ..it's Diane Sawyer. Hello? She's a class act. This could be some very heavy exposure. I'm sorry. Between the movie and... the book, people know the truth. Let's get on with life. There's been enough exposure. Why would you want any more? Why would you want any more? Why? (GASPS) I dunno(!) Maybe because I fucking deserve it! You drag my name through the mud, people think I'm a psycho killer. All I want is one little fucking Diane Sawyer interview to get my side of the story over. I'm not being unreasonable. Do you honestly... I'm sorry, Cotton, but no. Oh, you're sorry? Yeah, I bet you're real sorry(!) What's your angle? LOVEABLE, FUCKED-UP SIDNEY! EVERYBODY'S FAVOURITE VICTIM! Ow! What are you doing? Jesus! I'm not Billy Loomis. She killed him. He's dead, remember? Run it by me one more time. Why did you attack Sidney? I didn't. There was no attack. We were talking, very heatedly. Miss Prescott and I have a very complicated past. I didn't think that was a crime. I didn't think that was a crime. No, but homicide is. I didn't think that was a crime. No, but homicide is. Then book me. (SNIGGERS) Book me. OK? I don't know about homicide, but you've definitely got me for raising my voice in a library. We are dealing with four murders. Watch your mouth. (PHONE RINGS IN BACKGROUND) It shouldn't have been Randy. It should've been me. No... I should call his mother. Sid, I already made that call. Are you OK? Stop treating me like glass. I'm not gonna break. It's OK to break. It's not gonna happen. Your alibi'd better be airtight. Can I remind you all that I'm an innocent man. Don't you watch TV? Current Edition. It was very insightful. It was made clear that I'm innocent. Until you find me standing over a body with a knife, treat me with the rights accorded to every innocent citizen! Is there a problem with the word innocent? I know it's a big one. Chief? Hmm! What's going on? We're letting him go. We're letting him go. Why? We're letting him go. Why? We don't have anything on him. Sign here. Gale. Enjoying the show? Cops are funny. What are you doing? What are you doing? Waiting for my 15 minutes of fame. You can understand that, can't you? Don't do anything stupid. Gale, you were so instrumental in my freedom. You're not having character doubts now, are you? Sidney, if you change your mind. Come on, take a hike. Sorry about that. What a creep. They're gonna take you somewhere safe. They're gonna take you somewhere safe. Yeah, where's that? I don't know. But I'll be with you. We should get going. We'll take you by the dorm. We've issued a campus lock-in. No-one's allowed out after dark, OK? Who's doing this, Dewey? If not Cotton, then who? I don't know, Sid, but I'll find him. Any leads? Will the killer come after you? How does it feel to be the news? Cotton! Hey, are you still a suspect? It's a misunderstanding. Gale! How about a photo? No? You look great. How are you? It must be scary knowing somebody is watching, enjoying all this. How does- enjoying all this. How does- Look, local woman! I know I'm your career template. It gives you a... charge to challenge me. But give it a rest. You're right, I'm sorry. It was the wrong time. I'm sorry. What's going on? What's going on? Well, they impounded my van. It's a crime scene, thanks to you. Here's your footage. Enjoy. See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya'. See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya'. Joel, I need you! No. No, you need to have your head examined. I feel bad, Dewey. I feel really bad. I never say that because I never feel bad about anything. But I feel bad now. Is this just another... brilliant Gale Weathers' performance? brilliant Gale Weathers' performance? There are no cameras. I just want to find this fucker! I... I really do. Me, too. Could I give you a hand? What's in here? Just some crowd footage that Joel shot. Hey, wait a minute. If the killer's watching and relishing every minute, then he'd be on these tapes, right? At each crime scene. It's worth a look. It's definitely worth a look. This way. Dubbing room. Editorial. Video archive. It's locked. It's locked. Can you pick it? That'd be illegal. That'd be illegal. No shit(!) There must be a VCR somewhere. There must be a VCR somewhere. What's in there? Now we're getting somewhere. Now we're getting somewhere. Perfect. Start with this one. Sorry. (HEADS CRACK) Oh! Oh! (HEADS CRACK) Oh! Oh! Ow! I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? No. (HIGH-SPEED AUDIO SQUEAKS) "You're a fame-seeking, and forgive me, mediocre writer, who has a cold storage shed for a heart." You're cute when you're angry. You're cute when you're angry. That was rude. I was being rude. Dewey, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Hey,... really. (SWITCH FLICKS) "I should be studying. I got a bio." Dewey. Dewey! Sorry. That's not my footage. "Outside." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "You will never be the hero, and you'll never get the girl." "Wrong guy, dead boy." Stay here! Stay here! Dewey, don't! DEWEY! There's no-one there. (SCREAMS) Yaaaargh! Haargh! (DOOR CREAKS) (BREATHLESS) (GASPS) (RASPS) Haaa... Fuck! Gale! Gale? (SOUNDLESS BANGING) (SOUNDPROOF) (MOUTHS SOUNDLESSLY) "(FEEDBACK WHINES / BLADE SWISHES)" Gale! "(FEEDBACK WHINES / BLADE SWISHES)" Gale! (MOUTHS) NO! (MOUTHS) (SOUNDLESS BANGING) (BLADE SWISHES) (SQUEALS) (SCREAMS) (No...) NO! (BANGS) (CONTINUOUS BANGING) (BANGING STOPS) (BREATHLESS) (INSECTS CHIRRUP) So... So... So, Sid... Hey! Wait up. She's fine. She's fine. I'm her therapist. Bye, Derek. Bye. We'd better get going. When this is all over,... I'll still be here. (ENGINE STARTS) You! Prepare to die! You gave up your letters! (ROARS) (YELLS) Guys! (YELLS) Guys! (WHOOPING) Pride! Remorse! So romantic. And so Greek. (WHOOPING) (POUNDING ROCK) # I was in the wrong place Whoo! That's cold! (BACCHANALIAN WHOOPING & SHOUTING/ POUNDING MUSIC) Who do you love? Who do you love? SIDNEY! Did you say my Omega Kappa Beta brothers? Did you say my Omega Kappa Beta brothers? No, I said Sidney! So, where are you taking us? If we tell you, we'll have to kill you. Don't ask, don't tell. (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) Sonofabitch! (GIRLS SCREAM HYSTERICALLY) (PETRIFIED SCREAMS) Help! Help! Let me out! (SCREAMS HYSTERICALLY) Out of the car, you fucker! (TYRES SCREECH) Get down. Pull over or I'll blow your fuckin' head off. Aaaaargh! (GLASS SHATTERS / GIRLS SCREAM) (GIRLS SCREAM) (STEAM SIZZLES) (GRUNTS FEEBLY) (Is he dead?) (I don't think so.) (No. He's still breathing.) No... (Is he dead?) (Is he dead?) (God, I think so.) How are we supposed to get out? How are we supposed to get out? We're not. It's a cop car. (Help me out.) (BREATHES ERRATICALLY) (SUPPRESSED WHIMPER) (We are jammed up against a wall.) (Oh, my God.) (BREATHES DEEPLY) Oh... Oh, my God. No, Sid, don't. Sid. (CAR HORN BLARES) (God, I hate this shit.) Oh, my God. Don't do that again. (BREATH TREMORS) (Through the window.) Shit! (It's jammed. You have to go through the front.) No fucking way. No fucking way. Hallie, do it. OK. Sshh... (OK. OK, that's good.) (Urgh. Right through his eye.) (Come on. Easy, easy, easy.) (Come on, let's go. Let's go!) Hallie! Hallie! What? I want to know who it is. I want to know who it is. Oh, no, come on, Sid. I'm going back. I'm going back. Stupid people go back. Smart people run. We should get the fuck out of here! We should get the fuck out of here! I'm sick of running. If we know who it is, it's over. We can just get the police. We can just get the police. When we come back, he'll be gone. It'll only take a minute. Sid, no, Sid come back. Sid! Sid, come back. Shit! Oh, shit. Oh, shit. What? He's gone. He's gone. What? (ROARS) (SCREAMS) (BLADE SWISHES: MULTIPLE STABS) (INSECTS CHIRRUP) (BOTH YELL) Gale. Get away from me. Get away from me. No. This isn't want it looks like. I tried to help Dewey. Gale! Gale, wait, Gale! Shit. HELP ME! ..curfew in full effect. Meanwhile- ..curfew in full effect. Meanwhile- Give me that! Gale! I was in the middle of a story. Gale! I was in the middle of a story. I've got your story! What's wrong? Operator! Police! What's happening? What's happening? The killer is COTTON FUCKING WEARY! What's happening? The killer is COTTON FUCKING WEARY! Cotton? (DOOR SHUTS) (FOOTSTEPS) (EPIC CLASSICAL MUSIC) (INSECTS CHIRRUP) (PANTS) (ORGAN MUSIC: ETHEREAL SINGING) HELLO? GUS? HELLO? HELLO? (MUSIC STOPS) Hello? (SCRATCHY RUMBLING) (RUMBLING) (THUNDER & LIGHTNING) (SCREAMS) (Derek?) Derek. Derek! Oh, God. Oh, God. Thank God. I thought I'd be up there till opening night. Shit! Who tied these? We gotta go. Shit! Who tied these? We gotta go. Brothers got me. He's after me. He killed Hallie. What? What? The killer. He's here. Where? Where? (SINISTER) Here. You're fast, Sid. Get me down. Get me down. I wouldn't do that if were you. Do you really trust your boyfriend? (BOYISH) Don't you know history repeats itself, hmm, Sid? (Mickey!) (SINISTER) Surprise, Sidney. What the fuck? What the fuck? Since Derek disappeared on my ass, I've been on my own all fucking night. Thanks a lot, partner. Thanks a lot, partner. You motherfucker! Sid, he's crazy! You know me. Come on, Sid, I gotta have a partner. I couldn't have done this alone. God, Derek... Sid. Oh, no, Sid, Sid. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. It's OK, Derek. We got her. Sid, he's lying! Sid! Sid! (DESPERATE) Untie me. Sid, untie me. Hmm. Boyfriend, killer? Boyfriend, killer? Hmm. Boyfriend, killer? Boyfriend, killer? Sid, the man is lying! Untie me! Sid, untie me. What do you think? Is Sidney experiencing deja vu? No. I am going to fucking kill you! Fucking kill you! YOU ARE DEAD! DEAD! YOU ARE DEAD! DEAD! (GUNSHOT) YOU ARE DEAD! DEAD! (GUNSHOT) (SCREAMS) Derek... Derek... (GULPS) I'm sorry. I never... would have... ..hurt you. Never... (No...) (SOBS) You should deal with your trust issues. Poor Derek. Innocent, and such a nice boy, too. Bright, funny. Decent singing voice. He was gonna be a doctor. The kind of boy you could take home to Mom. If you had a mom. Fuck you! Fuck you! So vulgar! Did you talk to Billy this way? Billy was a sick fuck, like you! Billy was a sick fuck, like you! No, Billy tried to get away with it. Mickey is a sick fuck who wants to get caught. I've got my whole defence planned. I'm gonna blame the movies. Cool, huh? Hasn't been done before. This is just the start. A prelude to the trial. That's where the fun is. These days it's about the trial. The effects of cinema violence on society. Dershowitz will represent me. Bob Dole will speak out for me. The Christian Coalition will pay my legal fees. It's airtight, Sid. I'm an innocent victim. I'm an innocent victim. You're a psychotic. Yeah, well. Shh! That'll be our secret. People love a trial. It's like theatre, they're dying for it. I give the audience what they want. That's what Billy was good at. He knew. It's all about execution. He knew. It's all about execution. Yeah? You're forgetting one thing about Billy Loomis. What's that? I fucking killed him. (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) You piece of shit! Sid... You got a Linda Hamilton thing going. No, no, it's nice, I like it. WHO'S DOING THAT? Could that be the mystery guest, waiting in the wings? Told you I had a partner, Sid. Surprise cameo just for you. Gale. Mrs Loomis? What? Billy's mother! Nice twist, huh? Didn't see it coming, did you? Jesus, it can't be. I've seen pictures of you. Lose 60 pounds, a lot of work later. Lose 60 pounds, a lot of work later. It's called a makeover. You should try it. You look a little tired, Gale. You two were in this together? Yeah, well, had to have financing. Tuition's expensive. Deb, there, my backer, we met on the Internet. Psycho website. There's only 97 active serial killers in the country. Mickey here was a find. Definitely one on the way up. He just needed nurturing. As only a mother can do. As only a mother can do. I told you it'd work. Wait till the trial. It will rock! Oh, Mickey, there won't be a trial. (GUNSHOTS) (GUNSHOT) (GUNSHOT) Aaaargh! Gale! Two birds. One stone. Mickey was a good boy, but the blame-the-movies motive, did you buy that for a second? Poor boy was out of his mind. And you're not? And you're not? No. I'm very sane. My motive isn't as 90s as Mickey's. Mine's just good old-fashioned revenge. You killed my son. And now I kill you. I can't think of anything more rational. I can't think of anything more rational. You'll never get away with this. Of course I will. It's all traceable back to Mickey, including the cop gun he used to kill everybody. But let's suppose you got hold of the other cop's gun. You chased Mickey, there was a big shoot-out, and you shot Mickey. Killed Mickey dead. But not before he got off one shot at you. OK. So, have I covered everything? Any questions? Comments? You know what, who gives a flying fuck anyway?! Let 'em try to find a second killer. Debbie Salt doesn't exist. You're as crazy as your son was. What did you just say? Was that a negative, disparaging remark about my son? About my Billy? No, Billy was a good boy. Perfect. You did a bang-up job(!) It's not wise to patronise a woman with a gun. Randy spoke poorly of Billy and I got a little knife happy. I was a good mother. You know what makes me sick. I'm sick of people saying it's all the parents' fault. Want to blame someone? Why don't you blame your mother? She stole my husband and broke up my family. And then you took my son. You don't know what it is to be a mother. To raise a child, teach him, and guide him. And abandon him! Isn't Mickey supposed to be dead? (BANGING) (GRUNTS) (GLASS SHATTERS) (YELLS) (GRATING) (GRATING) (SCREAMS) (ELECTRICAL FIZZLE) (THUNDER & LIGHTNING) (GUNSHOT) (YELLS) (YELLS) Oh, my God! (GRUNTS) (ELECTRICAL FIZZLE) (PANTS) (ENRAGED ROAR) (SCREAMS) (ELECTRICAL FIZZLE) (EERIE SILENCE) (SCREAMS) (BOTH GRUNT & GROAN) (ANGUISHED CRIES) No! Oh, no! (GUNSHOT) Don't you fucking move! Goddammit! OK, everybody slow down. I have had a very, very bad day. I would like to know exactly what the fuck is going on here. Cotton, meet Billy Loomis' mother. She's the killer. What? And who's that? And who's that? The other killer, Mickey. OK. Look, Cotton- Look, Cotton- Shut up. So, hi. You're not Debbie Salt. You're not with the Post Telegraph. No, but I can still help you. Ah-ah-ah. Ah-ah-ah. You don't need her. Let me kill her. As long as she's alive you'll never be the lead story. That's what you want. If you really want the spotlight, just let me kill her, right now. Then you're the only survivor. The star! She sent you to prison for a year! Personally, I think it's rather poetic. No, Cotton, don't you listen to her. Oh... You're in quite a predicament, Sid. You're in quite a predicament, Sid. Cotton... I mean, she makes a good point. Let me think about this. Maybe you should, too. Bet you that Diane Sawyer interview is looking real good right now. Hmm? Consider it done. (GUNSHOT) (SCREAMS) (THUNDER RUMBLES) (COUGHS & SPLUTTERS) Wow. That... was intense. Hey, Sidney, I want you to know I'd never do anything to hurt you. Cotton, give me the gun. Yeah. OK. Sure. Take it. We should talk about what happened. Get our stories straight for the press- (BOTH YELL) Can somebody get me out of here? Gale, are you alright? I've been shot, of course not. Ow. Give me your hand. You scared the crap out of me. Anybody else down there? Anybody else down there? No. So much for reporting from the trenches. So much for reporting from the trenches. Shut up. How bad is it? How bad is it? Just bounced off my ribs. Geez, Gale, you got more lives than a cat. Give me one of those. Is she dead? I don't know. They always come back. (ROARS) (ROARS) (BOTH SCREAM) (CONTINUOUS GUNFIRE) Whoa! Just in case. That wraps it up, Chief. That wraps it up, Chief. Take it easy. You got a few broken ribs. I'm OK. Hey, Gale. You alright? Hey, Gale. You alright? Joel. Hey, Gale. You alright? Joel. I'm back. We could get the scoop like in the old days. You're Gale Weathers at Windsor College. We got a live one here! He's alive! (MUFFLED) Where's Gale? Dewey! Let's go! I can't believe you're alive. Are you OK? Are you OK? (MUFFLED) Gale... Are you OK? (MUFFLED) Gale... You hang in there. Some old scar tissue saved his life. (MURMURS DELIRIOUSLY) I'm coming with you. (SIREN WAILS) What did you see? What did you see? What happened? What did you see? What happened? How does it feel to be a hero? Talk to Cotton. He's the man you want to interview. He's the hero. Cotton! Cotton! Cotton! Cotton! Cotton! (REPORTERS CLAMOUR) What happened? Details, please. Look, I want to give you this story, but there is a time, a place, and a price for everything. Feel free to call me. Feel free to call me. Come on, tell us something. Feel free to call me. Come on, tell us something. Well, I'll tell you one thing. It'll make a hell of a movie. Thank you. # Life's river shall rise # She said # And only the strong shall survive # She said # But I'm feeling quite weak # She said # Will you comfort and forgive me? # She said # She said she's still searching # For salvation's light # Yes, she wishes all day # But then she prays all night # She said she won't speak of love # Cos love she's never known # It's moments like these # She hates to be alone # Forgive me # She said... # (BLADES SWISH / SCREAMING) (RAPID) # I'm sleeping and right in the middle of a dream # When all at once I wake up # From something that keeps knocking at my brain # Before I go insane # I hold my pillow to my head # And spring up in my bed # Screaming out the words I said # I think I love you # I think I love you # So what am I so afraid of? # A feeling I'm not sure of # A love there is no cure for # I think I love you # But that is what life is made of # So it worries me to say # I've never felt this way # Believe me, you really don't have to worry # I only want to make you happy # Then if you say "Hey, go away" I will # But I think better still I'd better stay around and love you # D'you think I have a case # Let me ask you to your face # I think I love you # I think I love you So what am I so afraid of? # I'm afraid that I'm not sure of # A love there is no cure for # I think I love you # Isn't that what life is made of? # Though it worries me to say # That I've never felt this way! # I don't know what I'm up against # I don't know what it's all about # I've got so much to think about # Yeah! # I think I love you! # So what am I so afraid of? # I'm afraid that I'm not sure of # A love there is no cure for # Do you think you love me? # I think I love you # I think I love you # # When it goes away I'll dig a hole # When it goes away I'll dig a hole # When it goes away I'll dig a hole # When it goes away I'll dig a hole # We're not going out at night # Friends they push and pull you # Burned-out crumpled flowers # Spinning, falling out of time # When it goes away I'll dig a hole # When it goes away I'll dig a hole # When it goes away I'll dig a hole # When it goes away I'll dig a hole # La-la-la-la! Oooh! # I'll dig a hole # La-la-la-la Ooh! # When it goes away # # I reminded someone who thought # they knew me that I hadn't changed at all # Wrapped up in a picture perfect # Packaged I just stand up way too tall # Because they see my world # Ooh! Through the eyes of sand # A walking desert # Baby, you're a polished stone # A walk in the desert # Baby, you're a polished stone # You don't know my world # You don't know my world # You don't know my world # Oh # A walk in the desert # A walk in the desert # A walk in the desert # (VOICES CHATTER & GROAN) Scream! I hear 'em coming. (GIRL SCREAMS) (RAPS) # Scream # Scream (SCREAMING & GROANING) # I hear them coming # Scream (SCREAMING & GROANING) # I hear them coming # I see them coming # I hear them coming # Got the shiver and you know it # I'll be like eyes overturning # Both of my toys # These daydreams are turning nightmares # I'm trying to shake it # But it seems to be like right there # I was at home # It felt good # But when it's all over they took off the hood # 1, 2, I'm coming for you # 3, 4, I'm at your door # Life, it seems to be a bad dream # Cry if you want but ain't nobody'll hear your scream # Scream (SCREAMING & GROANING) # I hear them coming # Scream (SCREAMING & GROANING) # I hear them coming # Scream (SCREAMING & GROANING) # I hear them coming # Scream (SCREAMING & GROANING) # I hear them coming # Scream (SCREAMING & GROANING) # I hear them coming