Oh, I'm so nervous. Don't sweat it, Daph. You'll do great. Mmmmmm. You think so? Yeah, driving tests are easy. Even I passed mine. Yeah, me too! Daphne, you're gonna be great. I believe in you. We all do! ALL: Yeah. If you put your mind to it, you can do anything, Daphne. ALL: Yeah! Right on! You've got what it takes. Right, guys? ALL: Yeah. Yeah? ALL: Yeah! Yeah? ALL: Yeah! All right! TIRES SCREECHING Oh... CRASHING VELMA: Oh, no. MAN GROANING So, did I pass? CRASH! SPOOKY MUSIC Captions by Alana Cruikshank www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2015 MUSIC CONTINUES . . . . Hi! Clark Sparkman here, welcoming you all to Sly Base Earth, an airport where the flights are out of this world. And Celebrity Heat is blasting off! Three years ago, rash billionaire daredevil, Sly Baron, vowed to make space tourism a reality. Today, his lucky passengers are boldly going where none of them have gone before. No, not Delaware! Space! A trip around the Moon! And they'll travel in style on Sly Star One, the first space cruise ship. The passengers are pure A-list. Celebrated Astronaut... Retired legends... and football star Uvinious Botango... But wait, what about the average guy or gal? Didn't Sly promise to make space available to anyone? Yeah, what about us? Hold on to your boosters, folks, cos this super cute reporter is about to blow your mind. (PEOPLE CHEERING) Sly created a sensation today when he revealed that he reserved five seats for five lucky lottery winners. Wow! Who could they be? DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING Four teen sleuths and their dog won the 'Sly Me To Space' sweepstakes. Luckily, they'll be in the company of space greatness, including me, Clark Sparkman. In T-minus zero, the Celebrity Heat's exclusive intergalactic coverage of the greatest party on Earth. How great are these custom flight suits? I never want to take mine off. I know. The colours are perfect. And the colours are perfect. And, like, there's pockets for snacks. Ooh, big pockets! State-of-the-art technology. I'm Shannon Lucas. You must be the lucky winners. Hi! You can't imagine how surprised we were to find out we were actually going into space! Oh, I think I can. It was a surprise to me too. The Baron kept it a secret until the very last second. But I guess he's a man of mystery. (LAUGHS) Well, we sure love mysteries. Right, and love solving them even more. ALL LAUGH What? It's too bad we have to wear these helmets. Talk about hat head. (LAUGHS) I know! Awful. What? I haven't worn mine yet. Oh, sorry. Well, Daphne, your hair is so great, I'd consider not going. Oh, jeepers, thanks! I use a special conditioner, extra bounce. HAIR WHIPS GRUNTS Well, here we are, about to go into space and we're talking about hair. Hey, what are these lights for? Indicators. Each suit is fitted with every convenience you have here on Earth. (LAUGHS) There's no little boys' room on the ship, Shaggy. You go in the suit. Wow. I really don't have to take this suit off, ever? Not even for... Right. I'm guessing that the red light might means you should think about changing out your payload though. Like, dude, we're wearing atomic diapers. The Baron spared no expense. Well, I'm sure Sly can afford it. Besides, all he cares about is over-the-top publicity stunts. I wouldn't be surprised if he made some grand entrance wearing a suit made out of money. PEOPLE CHEERING Wow! A suit made out of money. Yes, yes. Cheering for me. You're welcome. Ladies and gentlemen, thanks to me, you're about to experience a life-changing event you'll never forget ` a safe and easy way for anyone and everyone to go to space. It will thrill you, especially if you pick up some souvenirs in the Sly Star gift shop. Now, let's blast off! CROWD CHEERS CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK Wow, there's Zip Elvin and Colt Steelcase! Let's go say hi. Hi, Zip. Hi, Colt. (CLEARS THROAT) Fred Jones, reporting for duty. Oh. Hi, Fred. I'm a huge fan! (STAMMERS) A huge fan. Even though you guys landed on the moon years before I was born, you've always been an inspiration to me. Well, we're not that old. He can't hear you. Fred, you need to push the com button on your... I can't hear you! So, you're probably wearing those diaper things, right? Probably used to them by now, though. I know how it must kind of itch and stuff but... I think it's so cool. (GROANS) So, Shannon, do you have our training test scores, yet? Just curious. I'm not obsessed with test scores or anything. I was actually just looking at them. Wanna know how you did? Yes! I mean, sure. Why not? You all passed. But one of you scored high enough to enter the NASA Astronaut Candidate Program. Nice work... Thanks. ...Daphne. Really? Me? Wow! That is so cool! Have you ever considered being an astronaut? No, never. I have, ever since I was a kid. Well, you should. We'll talk later, girlfriend. OK, sounds great, girlfriend. And maybe you can give me some hair tips. (GIGGLES) Oh, my gosh, I would love to! I'll see you in a bit. Yeah, we'll all talk later then. She is so nice. This is going to be the best trip ever. What are you doing? (GROANS) CROWD CHEERS MAN: U-Boat! U-Boat! U-Boat... Scoob, it's him! (LAUGHS) Uvinious Botango, the U-Boat. Like, the best football player alive! OK, everyone needs to calm down. SLY: All passengers please board and prepare for take-off. Oh, my gosh! I've been waiting my whole life for this moment. I can hardly breathe! OK, let's get going. WOMAN: (ON PA) T-minus five minutes to launch. SEATBELT SIGN PINGS I can't believe Shaggy and Scooby are so calm. They get jumpy on elevators. They have U-Boat fever. Why do they call him that? Because he sinks everybody. He's a tackling machine. And he has a line of snack foods. U-Boat Bites! I'll be surprised if Shaggy and Scooby even notice we're in space. Hey, would you like to join us on the bridge for lift-off? Would I? (LAUGHS) Oh, you have... What do you say, Daphne? Really? Well, sure. Thanks! VELMA STRAINS Boy, she sure left in a hurry. Well, at least I have you here, Fred. Hey, Zip, Colt. You guys going to the bridge? Yeah, but this really` Great! I'll join you. Wait, I'll come too. Just need to undo these stupid belts. I'd keep those on if you want to live. Ridley, alien resistance fighter. Wait, really? That's a job? It will be, when the aliens invade. Velma Dinkley, right? You're one of the teen detectives, Mystery Inc. Clark Sparkman, Celebrity Heat. Mind if I ask you a few questions? You can if you like, but I won't answer. Good call. TV is a factory of deceit. BOTH: U-Boat! SCOOBY-DOO GROANS WOMAN: (ON PA) T-minus 20 seconds to launch. SLY: Here we go, folks! We're heading to the stars, thanks to me, Sly Baron. MAN: Sly Star One, this is ground control, you are clear to go. WOMAN: (ON PA) Five, four, three, two. We have ignition. And one. Lift-off. PEOPLE CHEER DRAMATIC MUSIC SLY: Welcome to space. We did it! High five, guys. SLY: Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 1,000,000m. SEATBELT SIGN PINGS Sly Co.'s latest Host Android Marvel, or HAM, is moving through the cabin with refreshments and observational comedy, courtesy of me. You're welcome! ROBOTIC VOICE: You know why moon restaurants always go out of business? No atmosphere. Am I right, people? VELMA STRAINS (PLAYS STUDIO LAUGHTER) If you need any more buttons pressed, (WHISPERS) I'm your man. Ew. And this sort of stuff works for you? Still not gonna do an interview. I don't watch Celebrity Heat. No offence. None taken. It's my job, not my life. So, want to check out the ship? I'm in. Strength in numbers. . Look, I think we made a good impression. BOTH LAUGH Care for a wet towel, sir? Out of my way, robot! No peanuts for him. Come on, pal. All this hero talk has made me hungry. Let's go find the snack bar. BOTH STRAIN Oh, look at that view! Been there. Done that. I never get tired of it, though. How could you? It's... It's... Exactly. What's next? For us, safety check. We got to make sure this billion-dollar yacht stays in one piece. Sounds important. I'm in. (GROANS) Aren't you going with them? I have to run diagnostics on the navigation system first. But you go ahead. I'll catch up with you. Shannon, thanks for making me feel like I belong up here. You do! Space needs a lot more Daphnes. I'm just speeding up the process a bit, girlfriend. (GIGGLES) OK, thanks, girlfriend. (GIGGLES) (GROWLS) Like, did you see something funny in the window, Scoob? Funny? No. Me neither. Phew. Must be our imagination. Like, I once saw a show about a guy that saw gremlins on the outside of his plane. What happened? I turned off the TV. Good idea. THUD! CLATTERING What was that? Probably space junk. Since the space age began, we've dumped millions of pieces of trash into orbit. Some weigh more than 6,000 tones. How do you know all that? I visited NASA last month. Research. Research? You work for Celebrity Heat. Space junk. That's exactly what the aliens want us to think. Or it's really just space junk. I know what you're thinking ` 'Ridley. She's just some whacked out alien freak who's seen one too many sci-fi movies.' Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking. Me, too. We are not alone. (LAUGHS) 'We are not alone.' Oh... (LAUGHS) But I've dedicated my life to alien combat training for one simple reason. (GRUNTS) Breakdancing? Combat training. They're out there. And how do you know that? Do you have any first-hand experience? Yeah, have you ever seen an alien? Have I ever seen an alien? Have I ever seen an alien? Have I ever seen an alien? Ha! No, I haven't. But I do have video evidence. DEVICE BEEPS We've been in contact with aliens for decades. Uh... That's a kitten. Oh, sorry, that's not it. Here. Look! Did you see it? It was right there! (GROWLING) STATIC FIZZES That's just the tip of the iceberg. There's more footage. Lots more. And I'll show it to you. Wait here! And that's our cue to hide. Way ahead of you. Like, dude, they have U-Boat Bites. That's U-Boat Nacho Bites! Come on, open up. (PANTS) We're having a snack attack. HAM: Do you know what my favourite snack is? CREEPY MUSIC I don't have one because I cannot digest food. Am I right, people? (PLAYS STUDIO LAUGHTER) I don't get it. Are you challenging me, canine life form? Uh, no, I... I... I'm kidding. Ha, ha. I'm a robot. Ha, ha. I'll destroy you with one blow. Ha. Am I right, people? (PLAYS STUDIO LAUGHTER) That comedy robot has a dark side. Like, that is not uncommon. Humour is often inspired by the same darkness from which it endeavours to provide an escape. Huh? Wow, I'm so hungry, my brain ain't workin' right. HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACH Huh? SHAGGY: Yikes! (WHIMPERS) (GRUNTS) TEETH CHATTERING, BOTH WHIMPER CLARK: I guess an alien wouldn't shock you. You've seen all kinds of weird stuff. You researched me? Why? You're here to do a piece on the Baron. I'm not sure he's the most interesting person on board. (CLICKS TONGUE) Know what I mean? Ew! FOOTSTEPS APPROACH, BOTH WHIMPER Phew! Like, it's you, Mr. U-Boat. We're huge fans. You're like the best player on the field every Sunday and Monday and Thursday and some Saturdays. You're the best off the field too. We love U-Boat Bites. Like, man, we'd be eating them right now, if the snack bar was open. STEEL CREAKS HISSES, BUZZES TRIUMPHANT MUSIC Space is delicious. CLANGING GROWLING ELECTRICITY CRACKLES DAPHNE: Whoa. Did you hear that? Thermal contraction caused by temperature differential. Normal. Right. It's normal, Daph. It didn't sound normal. It sounded like there's something outside. Something outside? You mean in the vacuum of space? Like what? (SCOFFS) Yeah, like what? In the vacuum of space? You think there's an alien out there? A creature with an oversized head and big black eyes? Hold the phone. You've seen it? No, because it doesn't exist! If aliens exist, they've never introduced themselves to us. And we've spent a lot of time in their neighbourhood. Not that it matters. Space is dangerous enough without little green men. Maybe they were cloaked from human sight. I saw a movie where the aliens did that. Here, I'll show you a clip. No, no, no. You kids watch so much junk on screens, you think it's real. When I was your age, we watched less and lived more. Makes sense. There was a lot of less stuff to watch when you were our age. CLANGING I mean... Well, of course there was... Oh. BEEP INAUDIBLE Colt, let's get out of here. BEEP Uh, maybe you should just give them some space, Fred. (LAUGHS) Get it? Space! That's so funny. I... I don't get it. ALARM BLARES COLT: What did you touch, hotshot? Nothing. ZIP: Come on. Let's go see what all this fuss is about. He called me a hotshot. SLY: Nothing to worry about, folks, just working out some first-flight bugs. Be sure to capture my perfect physique and spirit, hmm? I've said it a thousand times, civilians do not belong in space. You're right, Colt. You've said it a thousand times, at least. THUD! Man! We're doomed. SCOOBY-DOO: How do we get off this thing? . ZIP: What's going on? It's the air supply. We're venting oxygen. Something must have damaged the external tank. (SNAPS FINGERS) Like the alien we saw. We saw an alien outside, or we didn't. I like 'we didn't' better. Did it have black, hollow eyes and slimy looking skin? Like, yeah. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) How did you know? Jinkies. RATTLING Man, that doesn't sound good. ALARMS BEEP It's not good. We're nearly out of oxygen. How long do we have? Hours? More like minutes. Minutes? BOTH PANT We need to find air, fast! BOTH GASP There's a lot of air on Earth. And, like, no aliens. We'll never make it back to Earth in time. Never make it? But there's nowhere else to go. That's not entirely true. There is one place. (CLEARS THROAT) Shouldn't you be filming me being dramatic? Oh, right. That's not entirely true. There is one place. DRAMATIC MUSIC SPACESHIP HUMS MUSIC CONTINUES MUSIC BUILDS ENGINE SCREECHES SLY: You don't need air when something takes your breath away. MUSIC SWELLS WHIRRING MUSIC CONTINUES HUMMING SHANNON: The Baron has been secretly building on the dark side of the moon for over 10 years. It's quite an achievement, don't you think? Furthering his dream of making space travel available for anyone. You're welcome, average people. I guess he really is a man of mystery. You are the first to experience the very finest space has to offer. GRAND MUSIC BOTH GIGGLE UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH TINNY SPEAKERS. Welcome to Sly Moon Prime, the moon's first luxury resort. It's not quite finished yet, but the air generators are online and producing more air than we could ever breathe. (BREATHES DEEPLY) WHIRRING Your helmet? What? Oh, forget it. Anything you want or need, just ask a Sly Bot. That's why we made them. MAN: We? Forgive me. (CHUCKLES) I had little to do with actually building them. Nothing but the money to make all of this possible. This is Hudson, my right-hand spaceman and my twin brother. He made them. HAM PLAYS DRAMATIC MUSIC (CONTINUES PLAYING MUSIC) Sorry. He's been here since day one. 11 years, two months, 12 days, most of it alone. It's great to see friendly faces. Or any faces at all. (FORCED LAUGH) (WHIMPERS) Mmm? This isn't all happening in my head, is it? It's all real, right? Yes, it is, brother. People, people, people! (LAUGHS) People, people, people. You're really here. You're all real. (LAUGHS) It's been so long. I love him, but he's a little odd. Hudson, why don't you make the introduction? Yes, yes, yes. Introductions. This is Frank. He keeps us all honest. This is Linda, our ray of sunshine. Here's Reggie, the comedian of the group. (LAUGHS) Good one, Reggie. (CONTINUES LAUGHING) Oh... Oh, that's funny. (CLEARS THROAT) And finally, there's Twiggy. She's not happy with me at the moment. We're having a disagreement, isn't that right? Oh, is that so? Well, we'll talk about this later. So, what can we do for you? We need to patch and seal our air tanks. Gonna need two welding rigs. Make it three. Like I said, two. Yes, yes, of course! I'll put my best bot on it. (GASPS) That's Caroline Prime! BEEPING RUMBLING DRAMATIC MUSIC WHIRRING (GULPS) Caroline, we have guests! WHEELS SQUEAK CLANG! CLANG! Stop. Stay. She was just stocking supplies. She can move thousands of food crates in a matter of minutes. (CHUCKLES) Food crates! (LAUGHS) Like, I think I found my favourite robot, Scoob. Yeah, me too. PLAYS STUDIO RECORDING: Aw! I don't trust anything that's not human. Maybe you shouldn't get too close, U-Boat. She's perfectly safe. Wouldn't hurt a fly. I checked her protocol myself. She'll do anything we ask. Watch. Sit! Oh. (GIGGLES) Not you. Caroline. Caroline, sit. It'll take some time to get the rigs prepped. And of course, you'll be needing cryogen down the mag coils and synthetics first, right? He said the engines will need to cool. That's right. ROMANTIC MUSIC Oh! VELMA CLEARS THROAT I speak nerd. Of course, you do. Watch it, four eyes! You wear glasses too. (SCOFFS) Whatever. OK, good, good. Let's get to work. Might take a day or so. DAPHNE: Great. That will give us a chance to find the alien. Alien? (PLAYS DRAMATIC MUSIC) Uh, you're not helping. Sorry. That's what ripped the oxygen lines on the Sly Star One. It could still be onboard. Or around here somewhere. Who knows what you saw? It was probably nothing but space junk. Come on, Zip, let's get to work. Right, let's get to work. I'm afraid I have to excuse myself for a satellite interview, probably about some award the world needs to bestow upon me. Um, feel free to take the Sly Moon buggy ride. It's fun out there. Now, watch me leave! Like, dude, if the alien might be inside, maybe we should go where it isn't. Like, outside. What do you say, old pal? Yeah, yeah, outside. I'm right behind you, buddy. So, where should we start? I have to recalibrate the oxygen levels for the station. More people, more air to breathe. Shouldn't take too long. I'll see you in a bit. BOTH GIGGLE So, Clark, didn't you mention that you wanted to do an exclusive expose on someone in the mystery solving game? That someone being me? Hmph! Oh, yeah. Well... Whoa! Knock, knock. I'm not home, but these guys are. PLAYS STUDIO RECORDING: Aw! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Scooby-Dooby-Doo! ENGINES RUMBLE, WHEELS SCREECH ENGINE REVS, THUD! That Colt guy was right, Scoob. Maybe it wasn't an alien after all. Maybe it was just space junk. I mean, look at this place. It's a regular junkyard. ECHOING: Junkyard. Junkyard. Junkyard. Yeah. Yeah. Space junkyard. (GIGGLES) (EXCLAIMS) VIVALDI'S 'FOUR SEASONS' MUSIC CONTINUES . One small step for a dog... And one giant leap for me! Yeah. BOTH LAUGH That's weird. I thought we left the dark side of the moon. (GROWLS) BEEPING BOTH SCREAM (GROWLS) FAST-PACED DRAMATIC MUSIC THUD! (SNARLS) (WHIMPERS) BEEP! MUSIC CONTINUES WHOOSHING CRASH! (ROARS) BOTH SCREAM Zoinks! Catch me! OK, dude! Scoob! ENGINE STARTING Shaggy! SHAGGY SHOUTS BOTH WHIMPER TYRES SCREECH DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES BOTH SCREAM, TYRES SCREECH SHAGGY GASPS (SNARLS) WHIRRING, TYRES SCREECH Hmm. I think we lost it, Scoob. BEEP! (EXCLAIMS) BOTH WHIMPER Like, we're totally sorry, Mr. U-Boat, but that alien was chasing us. Really? You must have been scared. Scared? Um, like, why would you think that? That's OK, I get scared too. Like, you get scared? (GASPS) Of what? Of what? Sharks, dentists, public speaking, aliens, mines, the IRS, being in space, lots of things! Sometimes it's all in your head, though. The trick is finding something that helps you deal with it. Like food. Or music. BOTH: Or food. Or exercise. BOTH: Or food. Hey, or maybe even... Food! ...Singing. BOTH: Or food. Singing? (LAUGHS) Like, you sing? That's funny. BOTH LAUGH SOFT MUSIC PLAYS FALSETTO: # Fear is just a word # a four letter word # Like love and meek and made # Only just a word # a silly little word # So it doesn't make me afraid Wow! That is... # F la-la-la-la E la-la-la-la # A la-la-la-la R # Spells nothing you need to fear # Fear is just a word # A silly little word # So it doesn't make me afraid # Huh. DOOR OPENS . WHIRRING Wow! Look at all this cool stuff. I don't even know what half of it does. TOOLS CLATTER Check this out. Maybe you shouldn't touch that. WHIRRING It's a coolant gel used to extinguish fires by... (YELPS) ...totally immersing it in gel. Fred! Sorry, Daph. Let me... (GASPS) Wow! Look at this thing! I wouldn't touch that, Fred. It's oxygen and butyl liquid nitrogen. If that goes off... Zip, what are you doing? I'm going to get him out of there. Really? You think that's a good idea? You hear that? It's really quiet, peaceful, no Fred talking. Oh, right. (CHUCKLES) How long can someone survive in that? Well, it depends. How long you want to enjoy the blissful sound of not hearing his voice? Uh, half hour? Yeah, sounds about right. Now, hand me those callipers. DAPHNE STRAINS BEEPING SIZZLING Interesting. I thought you didn't trust anything that's not human. A microwave isn't human, yet you let it make your food. You'll be needing this, I suppose? Another machine. See? Machines are useful. Machines are... (GROWLS) CLATTERING PLAYS SOUNDTRACK RECORDING: Ooh... Jinkies! You really don't like robots, do you? I guess you don't take to progress very well. Progress? You mean the sort of progress that put automated machines in the car factories? The sort of progress that put my father and hundreds of others like him out of work when I was a kid? That sort of progress? Boy, if he had his way, we wouldn't have planes, let alone the technology to fly to the moon. Hmm. SHAGGY: Maybe U-Boat's right. Maybe that alien was only in our heads. Hmm? Yeah, just like that alien. (GROWLS) Yep, that alien's not really there. (GROWLS) Neither is that one. Or that one! BOTH SCREAM Yikes! SCARY MUSIC Have we lost him? I think we're OK, Scoob. Yeah, more than OK. TRIUMPHANT NOTE (EXCLAIMS JOYFULLY) There's no alien. Yup! No alien at all. We're just hungry, that's all. Yeah, we need to eat that alien away. BOTH LAUGH MUNCHING I feel better already. Me too, Scoob. This spread is, uh... Huh? (GROWLS) BOTH WHIMPER (SNARLS) CRASH! THUD! (SNARLS) I am so scared! Me, too! (SNARLS) CRASH! CLATTERING Sorry, Mr Alien. Like this table's for two. Plus, he can't reach it, unless aliens can jump really high. Can aliens jump really high? SONIC SCREECHING GLASS SHATTERS (SCREAMS) BOTH WHIMPER (GROWLS) (ROARS) ELEVATOR BELL DINGS WHIRRING So, you guys were on the very first mission, right? That's so cool. You probably have a huge following on the Internet. Have your own blog? But it wasn't around back then. Heck, I don't think there were even computers back then. (LAUGHS) Aw! We should have left him in the ice. I still can't feel my fingers. Ew! What's that? Condensation. Probably from the air vents. Looks like alien juice to me. And you've seen alien juice before? No, not exactly. But if I were to take a guess at what it looked like, I would say it would look a lot like that. Could this day get any worse? BOTH SCREAM, CRASH! What the blazes is going on? Alien! Big! (WHIMPERS) Chasing us! Yeah! It hates food and likes melting brains. Maybe it's lost. Or maybe it doesn't exist! Wait, where did you see an alien? Dude, restaurant! And you left before you were done eating? BOTH: Uh-huh. Shaggy and Scooby would never leave food behind. Something was in that restaurant. And that's the truth! So help me hot dogs. OK! Let's go take a look. Oh, sure. Why not? I could use a good laugh. (PLAYS STUDIO LAUGHTER) That's not funny. Look at this. It's lucky no one's hurt. Tell that to the poor spring rolls. Or to anybody replaced by an alien imposter. Because they do that. Better the food than the ship. Watch your mouth, Hollywood. (GROWLS) Shaggy is very sensitive when it comes to food. Well, it could have been worse. Exactly. Good point, Daphne. Yes, Daphne, well done (!) It's lucky we have a space expert like you here (!) What's that about? I have an idea. Talked to the chef Sly bot. He didn't say anything, maybe because he's scared. Or maybe because Sly bots can't talk. Uh, right. So we have two witnesses. Right, who are eating raw fish off the floor. Come on, Zip. This is a joke! There's no alien and we've got work to do. LOUD THUDDING, BOTH SCREAM It's back! SLY: Looks like I missed one heck of a party. Well, look who shows up right after all the excitement. Perfect timing, I'd say. I was about to give a satellite interview, about me, of course. But it appears someone or something put it out of commission. The satellite is out? We're cut off from Earth. No way of communicating to anyone. ALL GASP (WHIMPERS) It must have happened right before... The alien attack! Don't worry, folks. I'll be fine. Besides, Hudson is on it. Mmm-hmm. And the Sly bots are preparing more food as we speak. Wow! Awesome boots! Yes, they are awesome, because they're on me. They're my brother's latest magna-boot prototype. It creates a pressure sensitive electromagnetic field for attraction. I think you might know a thing or two about electromagnetic attraction. Am I right? You can't be serious. I think I may throw up. Really, are you serious? Sorry. And repulsion. That's more accurate, I'd say. Very handy in space. Handy for creating a spectacle too. No one creates a spectacle quite like you. (LAUGHS) What, a spectacle? Right you are, Velma Dinkley. And an alien attack is the greatest spectacle of all, no? Are you suggesting I had something to do with this alien situation? Well, if the boot fits... TENSE MUSIC (LAUGHS) I get it... I wish I had thought of it. And I probably would have, if I wasn't too busy doing interviews about how awesome I am. An alien encounter is a publicity gold mine. There's only one thing that would top it. An alien space battle. Well... DAPHNE: Or an alien wedding. No... How about an alien cook off? No! An alien in captivity! Too bad for you there's no alien to capture. You can't say for certain that` Oh, yes, I can! Last count, I'm pretty sure Colt and I have been to space a whole lot more times than` Gentlemen, ladies, please! It's been a long day. We're all tired. And maybe it's making us a little uneasy. Why don't we all get some sleep? Excellent suggestion, Shannon. I'm glad I thought of it. A few hours' sleep will do us all good. The Sly Star should be ready by then too. Right, brother? Yes. Uh-huh. ELEVATOR BELL DINGS Like, man, I don't know about you guys, but I won't be getting much sleep with that alien still out there. Yeah, me neither. Guys, there is no alien. But Velma, we all saw it. Oh, I forgot. You're the expert now. Are you still mad at me because I scored higher than you on the test? And have better hair? Guys, I need you to take a break from arguing. We're a team. There's only one way to find out if this alien is real or not. We've got to catch it! ELEVATOR BELL DINGS Did someone say, Catch an alien? (PLAYS DRAMATIC MUSIC) ELEVATOR BELL DINGS This is going to be the greatest alien trap ever. Isn't this technically the first alien trap ever? It is also an act of war. All the more reason to make it perfect. Plus, I want to impress Zip and Colt. Kind of tough to impress them if they aren't here. Have you considered that they may not warm up to you No matter what you do? No. Why? (SIGHS) No reason. Aliens would laugh at this trap if they had a sense of humour. But they don't. (SIGHS) OK, for fun, let's say aliens are real. What do you think is gonna happen? This is phase one. Contact. RIDLEY: A single alien from a race advanced light years beyond ours stealthily boards a human ship with ease. The alien makes contact. It seems hostile but it's not after blood. It's gathering intel from us. The alien pinpoints our weaknesses and transmits his findings home. So begins phase two. Invasion. An alien fleet enters our solar system, an armada of infinite size and power. It surrounds its target, Earth! And attacks. Our meagre defences are no match for its vast and superior might. The world's greatest cities are devastated by the siege ` New York, Tokyo, Paris, Dublin... Which leads to phase three, Rock Bottom. The aliens enslave humanity, forcing us to mine Earth's natural resources until we and the planet are bled dry. In short, not so good. Not until... ...Human rebels rise up against their alien oppressors. FRED: They fight from the shadows turning alien technology against its makers. Wait, what? No, no, no, no, no. As I was saying... Humans stick together when facing a monumental challenge. DAPHNE: They fight with, instead of against each other, when confronting a common threat. DRAMATIC MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUES (GIGGLES) I could use my superior video game skills. PINGING BOOM! WHIRRING BEEPING This is my thing. I get to say what` It takes more than teamwork and video games to defeat the aliens. VELMA: It takes a particularly clever human, whose skills are sometimes overlooked by her fellow humans. BEEPING, WHIRRING POPPING Great. Nothing left for me to say` Or maybe... ACTION MUSIC BOOTS THUD MUSIC CONTINUES WHIRRING HEROIC MUSIC (MUNCHES) Oh, this is ridiculous! I'm leaving. ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ELECTRICITY FLICKERING It's starting. They're here. Places, everyone! . Shaggy, Scooby, I just spotted the alien in the observation deck. Head up there and lure him down to Hudson's work area. Daphne, Velma, and I will cover the rest. It's almost too easy. Any questions? Uh, yeah. Could we not do this? Guys, relax. It's just an alien. It can't hurt you if it doesn't catch you. Yes, it can. It tried to melt our brains. EERIE MUSIC Man, I don't know about this. BOTH GASP BOTH: Sticky buns? FRED: I figured you might have second thoughts. I thought I'd give you two some added incentives. Like, yeah. Incentives with frosting. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Yeah. Yummy. VELMA: You're probably going to tell me I'm doing this all wrong, aren't you? (SCOFFS) You can't stand that I did better than you on the astronaut training tests. What do I care? Those tests must be flawed. (GASPS) Because I did well? No, because you did better than me. Ugh, I knew it! After all this time, is it so hard for you to accept that I might be something more than a pretty face? No. (SIGHS) What's hard to accept is that you get to have it all. If you're prettier, and more stylish and smarter and a better astronaut, what's left for me? If you're a better me than I am, then who am I? I... SOMBRE MUSIC ELECTRICITY FLICKERING (GASPS) Huh? ELECTRICITY CRACKLING Dang it! Tripped the breakers again. (GASPS) Something's wrong with the gravity! You think? What makes you say that? SLY: Hi, folks. Slight glitch with our artificial gravity. We'll have it back on shortly. Until then, enjoy the float. Like, dude, a glitch. Oh, boy! That doesn't sound good. Scoob, what are you doing? Enjoying the float. You can swim without getting wet. (LAUGHS) Hey, you're right. And you can eat without getting sticky. It's all good. Just relax and have a... (GASPS) Huh? BOTH SCREAM Like, what do you say, pal? Maybe we should try some of U-Boat's singing. # F la-la-la-la # E la-la-la-la # A la-la-la-la # R # (GROWLS) I don't think the singing's working very well, Shag. Guess there's only one thing left to do ` run! BOTH SCREAM DRAMATIC MUSIC (SNARLS) FRED: Don't eat the sticky buns. Use them to stick. Man. A great idea, Fred. It's working. (GROWLS) BOTH SCREAM Rogue One, this is Rogue Leader. The package is heading your way. Over. Am I Rogue One or Rogue Two? It doesn't matter. We're ready, Fred. Oh, come on. Use your call sign, Velma... I mean... (CLEARS THROAT) Rogue Two. Over. BOTH SCREAM HISSING Sting darts away! PINGING Oh, they missed. No problem. My turn. Over. Like, now what? (GROWLS) Gotcha! Gravity gel. That should hold him. BOTH EXCLAIM (EXCLAIMS) Oh, dude, I guess the gravity's fixed. But now my head's broken. (GROWLS) (GASPS) (ROARS) You caught it! ELEVATOR BELL DINGS The alien! You caught the alien! Yes` ELEVATOR BELL DINGS The alien! You caught the alien! Yes, we` ELEVATOR BELL DINGS The alien! You caught the alien! Yes. ELEVATOR BELL DINGS The alien! You caught the alien! Yes. ELEVATOR BELL DINGS Does anyone have a spare hair dryer? I seem to` The alien! You caught the alien! Yes, we caught it! How many elevators are in this building? It is real. I wouldn't be so sure. (STRAINS) ALL: Shannon Lucas! But how? Why? Who? Oh, right. It's Shannon. That's right. It was Shannon. Being an astronaut made her the perfect alien. FRED: She knew how to adjust the frequency of a micro-radar transmitter to turn it into a devastating sonic weapon. Like, that explains the alien's mind beams. She used Sly's magna-boots to defy gravity. VELMA: And she knew how to use holograms, videos and audio recordings to mask her whereabouts at any moment. FRED: And she knew the ship and the resort, so she could come and go at will. It was a plan years in the making by a highly trained expert. Yes, an expert. Someone who has sacrificed everything to get here. Not some regular nobody that Sly had decided could simply go to space because it was easy and safe for everyone, anyone. I decided to change that. The original plan was to sabotage the ship, stage an alien attack and make the world see that space travel is dangerous and only a place for experts. And you had the perfect guests to help you with your plan ` Two veteran astronauts to make the trip seem credible. And you had U-Boat, a superstar athlete that would ensure the whole world was watching. And Ridley, the one person you knew would confirm to the world that aliens were real. Don't forget Clark. Celebrity Heat would give you all the exposure you could ever need ` by ignoring the actual facts to get you a sensational story. Sorry, Clark. It's a living. You had it all figured out. Except I didn't count on the greatest mystery team being on board. That was just plain old luck. Bad luck. I knew your snooping would ruin my plans. I even tried to convince you not to go. Well, Daphne, your hair is so great, I'd consider not going. Then, I switched your scores, hoping it would break up your happy team. And I guess it did for a while. Wait, so I didn't get the highest score? (CHUCKLES WRYLY) No, Daphne. Shaggy did! What? ALL: Shaggy? Like, dude, me? (CHUCKLES) I had to prevent you from figuring out my plans so I came up with a different one ` A plan that meant leaving you here. So we would never be able to return to tell the real story. It was you that sabotaged the satellite! Boy! Everything that happened was perfectly calculated. And expertly executed. And you would have got away with it too, if it hadn't have been for me. You? Oh, right. I meant and you would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for me... and these meddling kids. (CHUCKLES) 'Would have'? Oh, I'm getting away with it. DEVICE BEEPS It's some sort of invisible force field. Uh, it's called glass, Fred. An invisible force field made out of glass! Genius. (GROANS) You're just going to leave me here? And us. Oh, right. You're just going to leave me here with these people? Oh, yeah. And just to be certain you never leave, I've planted thermal charges like this one throughout the complex. How many can there be? BEEPING DRAMATIC MUSIC RAPID BEEPING So that's what that alien was doing when Scoob and I went outside for the drive. Shannon, name your price! Anything! A weekend in Paris with me! A signed portrait of me! ALL EXCLAIM You can't put a price on this sort of fame. Besides, returning as a hero will bring me all the money I could ever want. Please don't hate me ` especially you, Daphne. (CLICKS TONGUE) Great hair. (LAUGHING) (LAUGHS) BEEPING We've got to get out of here. How? She just left on the only ship! No. It's not the only ship. RIDLEY: I got to hand it to you. It looks just like Sly Star One. But something feels different. I just can't put my finger on it. ZIP: You can't, cos I'd say that pretty much is the difference ` I can put my finger on it. Oh, right. It's really small. How are we all going to fit in there? This isn't the ship. It's just the model. WHIRRING, CREAKING Oh, well, that's more like it. You built this? I did, with a little help from the Sly bots. Well, why did you keep it a secret? Well, actually you see, living up here in the darkness, all alone, it's been hard. I built this ship so I could leave. But I couldn't. I knew how much this place meant to you, how much you needed me to stay here. But there were times I thought about leaving. About being... In the spotlight, like me? No... About being with my brother. I'm sorry, Hudson. I'm sorry for not being here for you. SOFTLY: Be sure to get a close shot of my face. Sly! Sorry, it's a habit. BOOM! Shannon's explosives are starting to go off! We better get going. Does your ship work? There's still some glitches, but with some quick work, she should be up and running in no time. RUMBLING, CRASH! (GRUNTS) There's too many. This could take days. We don't have days! Gee, Daph, you think? Did you just do all that math on your own, or did your pal Shannon help you? Oh, I'm sorry, Velma. So Shannon wasn't perfect. Perfect? Daphne, she's a homicidal lunatic that's about to blow up the moon! Oh, Velma, she's not going to blow up the whole moon. Just, you know, part of it. And that's supposed to be OK? HUMAN VOICE: Stop that! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! For goodness sake, we're all going to die and all you can think about is arguing over who liked who! You're crazy! You're not a robot, are you? Nope. I'm an actor playing a robot. And if it wasn't for you meddling kids... ALL: ...you would have gotten away with it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. (STRAINS) (PANTS) It's no good. They're too heavy. What the heck is in them? Wow! (LAUGHS) U-Boat snacks! A year's supply. How in the world are we going to get through all that? (MUNCHES) Well, yeah. Like, time for the experts to take over. Right, Scooby-Doo? Uh-huh. MUNCHING, PACKETS CRINKLE, WOOD CRACKS BOTH CHUCKLE RUMBLING Caroline, about time. Help us move the last of these boxes. That's not Caroline. She's different. Oh, for Pete's sake, Ridley, she's not different. She's the same old` Oh! (SCREAMS) That is different. WHIRRING Run! Looks like Shannon recalibrated her syntax drive protocol codex from utility maintenance to lethal deletion mode. RIDLEY: She's going to kill us. U-Boat, come on! No, if she makes it through, she'll crush the ship. I'll hold her off while you guys fix whatever needs fixing. Go! Go! BEEPING, BUZZING Oh, she's been idle for too long. We're going to have to jump her from the energy cell. We're on it. BONES CRACK (YELLS) My back! My knees aren't what they used to be. BONES CRACK Maybe we're getting too old for this. No! You're not! Don't you get it? You guys are the reasons why thousands, millions even, want to become astronauts. Why I wanted to become one. You're the inspiration for dreams, and that sort of stuff can never get old or obsolete. You're Zip Elvin and Colt Steelcase, astronauts. You'll always be astronauts. And how great is that? It's a three-man job. We'll need someone to come with us. Daphne` No, no, Fred. We meant you! Oh. Me? Oh! . Ugh! Dirty robot! (GROANS) THUD! WHIRRING, CREAKING THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! HEROIC MUSIC WOOD SHATTERS Thanks, but aren't you scared? (CHUCKLES) Yeah, like really scared. But like we said, when we get scared, we resort to food. That's how we deal with it. Right, Scooby-Doo? Yeah, and if there's one thing we love to do besides eating food... ...It's playing with it. Food fight! MECHANICAL HUMMING It worked. The engines are primed. Hudson, ready when you are. Well done, guys. Now get back here. Hudson, we have a problem. What's wrong? What is it, Zip? The fuel valve is broken. ALARM BLARING We gotta hold it on to keep the power supply running. We'll have to ride it out of the engine compartment. OK, I'll fly the... THUD! He's out cold. Who's going to fly the ship now? I've got this` THUD! Not to worry. I'll` THUD! You can't be serious. ENGINE WHINES, ELECTRICITY FIZZLES OK, looks like all that food has made her sleepy. Let's get to the ship. ENGINES RUMBLE What happened? They got knocked out. Then who's gonna fly this thing? Don't worry, I` BOTH: No! THUD! THUD! THUD! BOTH GASP, THUD! Don't worry. I got this. (GRUNTS) THUD! But they're all wearing helmets. COLT: What's the hold-up? Uh... Everybody's been knocked out. There's nobody to fly the ship! Yes, there is. Stand by. No! No way, Velma. I can't. You heard Shannon. She faked the scores. Velma, I can't even drive Fred's van. I just don't have the right stuff. Yes, you do! You were on the bridge with Shannon. You're the only one that saw how she flew this thing. Right now, you know more than I do about this. Sure, Shannon might have faked your score, but it doesn't matter, Daphne. It's just a piece of paper. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me what I already know ` that I believe in you. And that you can do anything you put your mind to, Daphne. BEEPING, CLICKING BOOM! RUMBLING DRAMATIC MUSIC ENGINE ROARS BOOM! BOOM! Wow! Looks like a billion dollars going up in smoke. Yeah, but think of the publicity. DRAMATIC MUSIC Everyone, hold on to something. This is going to get bumpy. MUSIC SOFTENS MUSIC SWELLS Fred, we couldn't have had a better team lead than you. Thanks. It was a real honour working with you. We're about to enter the atmosphere. ALL SCREAM MALE REPORTER: Miss Lucas! Miss Lucas! SOBS: And it was this terrible alien that destroyed the station and my friends. Space is no place for the average person. It's for trained astronauts, like me. FRED: That's a great story ` (GASPS) HEROIC MUSIC if it were true. And just to be certain you never leave, I've planted thermal charges like this one throughout the complex. You can't put a price on this sort of fame. Besides, returning as a hero will bring me all the money I could ever want. CROWD GASPS, CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK She was the alien! A fake alien! CLANG! SHUTTERS CLICK Sly was right. Space travel is for everyone! Sure, it takes training, but maybe it all starts with an adventurous spirit, an imaginative mind, a brave heart, and good old-fashioned... ...money, tons of the stuff! Sly, please! Sorry. And good old-fashioned curiosity. Who knows what's out there? But isn't that the very reason to go? CROWD CHEERS CROWD JEERS Like, dude, it was real swell meeting you, U-Boat. Yeah! Yeah! Swell! Shaggy, Scooby, it was a real blast! Come here. BOTH CHOKE, WHEEZE Velma, I'm sorry. I should have seen that Shannon wasn't really a true friend, and that you were always my best friend. Aw. Thanks, Daphne! Maybe you and` CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING MAN: Tell us about your trip, Daphne. WOMAN: How do you keep your hair looking so good? MAN: Daphne, over here! I need some shots of the hair. It's beautiful! My hair? There are far more important things to talk about than hair, like friendship and support. Now that's worth a story. REPORTERS CLAMOUR So, I guess there are no aliens after all. Oh, I wouldn't say that, Ridley. Space is too big. Who knows what's out there? You must have been lonely up there. No less lonely than someone who believes in something when nobody else does. GENTLE MUSIC < BOOM! Uh, looks like your ship is ruined. Yes, but it wouldn't take me long to have her back in shape. And maybe if, uh, somebody would come with me, I wouldn't mind going back up there. See what we might find. You mean a copasetic prime directive involving a dual core system drive with a high probability of some elementary binary codex and interface time? I couldn't have said it better myself. ENGINE TURNS OVER FRED: Easy, just let the clutch out, easy! (GRUNTS) DAPHNE: Jeepers! I'm trying, Fred. Something must be wrong with the pedal. OK, calm down. I am calm! Daph, why don't you try` Velma, why don't you try not being a back seat driver! I flew a spaceship for goodness sake! I think I can handle the Mystery Machine. OK, OK, just trying to help. Go ahead. FRED: Easy. Easy! VELMA: Whoa! ALL SCREAM Scooby-Dooby-Doo! (WHIMPERS) # Remember the fun, # remember the sun, # remember that gang of mine. # Gal on my yard, sweet with her charm. # Oh, what a grand old time. # The moon and the sea, # my honey and me. # Together, were oh-so fine. # Remember the fun, # remember the sun, # remember that gang of mine. # OLD-TIMEY SAXOPHONE MUSIC Captions by Alana Cruikshank www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2015