www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016 (FOREBODING MUSIC) MAN: It's hormonal. I mean, I don't usually fall back on... You know, it's women's issues. But child proofed - how? Gates and stuff? Dude, she did the drawers. We don't even know if this fertility thing's gonna work. She's screwed in these little jobbies where you can't even open the drawers. -At all? -No. They open an inch, then you gotta dig your finger in. -It's a nightmare. -I guess sooner or later... Yeah, well, a lot later. She did the upper cabinets. The kid'll be 30 before he can reach them. Assuming, you know, we have a kid. ANNOUNCER: Attention... It is natural for her to feel protective. Don't even... You have women's issues. Please. You of all people. Oh, come on. It's a jinx. It guarantees that we won't get pregnant. And it takes me about 20 minutes to get a fucking beer. Guys. Guys! Stockholm went south. Seriously? I thought they were looking good. What cracked? I haven't seen the footage. Word's just going around. Well, that's never been a stable scenario. Everyone knows you can't trust Swedes. That means there's just Japan. Japan and us. It's not the first time it's come down to that. Japan has a perfect record. We're number two. We try harder. -But, guys, if we fail... -Please. We haven't had a glitch since '98. We know what we're doing, Lin. Or we have it written down somewhere. You guys better not be messing around in there. Ooh. Does this mean you're not in the betting pool this year? Big money. I'm just saying, it's a key scenario. No, I hear what you're saying. In '98, it was the chem department's fault, right? Where do you work, again? Wait, it's coming back to me now. It's gonna be a long weekend if everyone's that puckered up. So you wanna come over Monday night? I'm gonna pick up some power drills - liberate my cabinets. Are you even listening to me? (UPBEAT POP MUSIC) Ugh, Professor Fuckwad. Why haven't you stuck that asshole's picture on the dartboard yet? It's not that simple... Oh, my God! Your hair. It's blond. Very fabulous, no? -I can't believe you did it. -But very fabulous, right? Hurry up with the 'very fabulous' - I'm getting insecure about it now. God, no, it looks awesome. -Curt's gonna lose it. -Oh, Curt's gonna thank me. And so will you while we're burning this picture. Oh, not ready. Seriously, this isn't his fault. What's not his fault? Fucking his student or breaking up with her by email? -I knew what I was getting into. -Oh, please. You know what you're getting into this weekend? This! And if Holden's as cute as Curt says he is, possibly getting out of it. That is the last thing that I want. If this is a set-up, I'm gonna have no fun at all. I'm not pushing. But we're packing this! Which means we definitely won't have room for... What if I get bored? These will help? 'Soviet Economic Structures'? 'Aftermath of the Cold...' Oh. No! We have a lake and a keg. -No more learning! -Think fast. -BOTH: Oh! -Faster than that. (TYRES SCREECH) Sorry. Sorry. Move along. -Nice! -Is that Holden? We'll be right down. He just transferred from State. Best hands on the team. He's a sweet guy. -And he's good with his hands. -Hey, I'm kind of seeing this girl, but you're way blonder than she is. But I was thinking, you know, maybe... What is this? What are these? What are you doing with these? OK, I get it. I'll leave the books. No, no, who gave you these? Who taught you about these? I learned it from you, OK? I learned it from watching you! (LAUGHS) OK, seriously, Professor Bennett, he covers this whole book in his lectures. You should read this. Gurovsky. Now, this is way more interesting. Also, Bennett doesn't know it by heart so he'll think you're insightful. And you have no pants. Oh, shit! -That pretty much it? -Fucking better be. You know, Jules, it's a weekend, not an evacuation. Trust me when I say there is nothing in those cases you won't be glad I brought. I'm shutting right up. (HIP-HOP PLAYS) Oh, my God. Marty? Fuck is wrong with you, bro? People in this town drive in a very counterintuitive manner. That's what I have to say. Do you wanna spend the weekend in jail? 'Cause we'd like to check out my cousin's country home. Marty, honey, that's not OK. Statistical fact - cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they... ..and he will bind them with ancient logics. Have you gone grey? You're not bringing that thing in the Rambler. What? A giant bong in your father's van? What are you, stoned? (CHUCKLES) Hey, man. Dana, you fetching minx! You have any food? -Everybody ready? -Whoo! Yeah. -Yeah! -Yeah? OK, I'm ready! -Let's get this show on the road! -Fuck, yeah! (OMINOUS MUSIC) Nest is empty. We're right on time. JULES: I hope this is the right road. It doesn't even show up on the GPS. It is unworthy of global positioning. That's the whole point. Get off the grid, right? No cell phone reception, no traffic cameras. Go someplace for one goddamn weekend where they can't globally position my ass, man. This is the whole issue. -Is society crumbling, Marty? -No. Society is binding, right? It's filling in the cracks with concrete. Everything's filed or recorded or blogged, right? Chips in our kids' heads so they won't get lost. Society needs to crumble. We're all just too chicken shit to let it. I've missed your rants. You will come to see things my way. Identification, please. (INDISTINCT P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT) Mr Sitterson. -Mr Hadley. -Thank you. -What's your name? -Daniel Truman, sir. This isn't the military, Truman. You can drop the 'sir'. But Sitterson does like to be called 'ma'am'. Or 'Honey Toes'. He'll also answer to 'Honey Toes'. You clear on what's gonna happen here? -I've been prepped. Extensively. -And did they tell you that being prepped is not the same as being prepared? They told me. I'll hold my post, Mr Hadley. Good man. (SIGHS) SITTERSON: OK, system's online. HADLEY: Acquiring target. Let's see what we got. MARTY: Alright. I'm thinking this thing doesn't take credit cards. I don't think it knows about money. I think it's barter gas. (KNOCKS ON WINDOW) CURT: Hello? Hey, Holden. -Holden! -I don't think there's any... -You come here uninvited? -Fuck! Dude. Sign says 'closed'. Yeah, we were looking to buy some gas. Does this pump work? If you know how to work it. We also wanted to get directions. Yeah, we're looking for... What's it called? Tillerman Road. Do you know if it's this way? Tillerman Road takes you up the hill there. Dead-ends at the old Buckner place. My cousin bought a house up there. You go through, like, a mountain tunnel, there's a lake. -Would that be the... -Buckner place. Always someone looking to sell that plot. You knew the original owners? Yeah, not the first. I seen plenty come and go. Hell, I been here since the war. -Which war? -You know damn well which war! Would that have been with the blue and some in grey? Brother, perhaps, fighting against brother in that war? You sassing me, boy? You were rude to my friend. (SCOFFS) That whore? -What'd you say? -I think we got enough gas. You got enough to get you there. Getting back - that's your concern. Well, good luck with your business, sir. I know the railroad's coming through here any day now. That's gonna be big. Streets paved with actual street. Fucker. JULES: Guys, take a look. (SQUAWKS) (ZAP AND BUZZ) CURT: This must be it. JULES: Oh, my God, it's...beautiful. One spider and I'm sleeping in the Rambler. -I mean it. -(LAUGHS) Come on. Give me a hand. (SOFT CREAKING) (DOOR CREAKS) JULES: Curt, be nice. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) This is awesome. It is kind of cool. You gonna kill us a raccoon to eat? I'll use its skin to make a cap. JULES: Everybody get your suits on. In 10 minutes, we're heading to the lake. CURT: Yeah. MARTY: I was not informed there would be callisthenics. (FOREBODING MUSIC) Yeah, I don't think so. Whoa. No way. No... Ah, shit. Um... This is happening. Hold up! (TAPS WALL) JULES: You've gotta be fucking kidding me. -That's just creepy. -MARTY: It was pioneer days. People had to make their own interrogation rooms. Who did your cousin buy this place from? We should check the other rooms, make sure this is the only one. 'Cause you know Marty wants to watch us pounding away. I didn't even like hearing that. JULES: Don't be an ape, Curt. How about we switch? Not that I'd... I mean, I'd put the picture back, but you might feel better if we switched rooms? I really would. Thanks. For being decent. Oh, it's the least I could do. Since Curt and Jules sold you to me for marriage. They're not subtle. Well, I'll just be flattered and keep it to myself. Yeah, I'm not looking for... But I'm still grateful that you're not a creep. Hey, let's not jump to any conclusions there. I had kind of an internal debate about showing you the mirror. Shouting on both sides, blood was spilled. So you're bleeding internally? Pretty bad. Well, Jules is pre-med. You should probably talk to her. Oh, OK. (SIGHS) Wow. Oh. Oh-oh-oh-whoa-whoa. Yeah, I don't think so. (ALL TALK AT ONCE) Places, everyone. We are live. Engineering, we got a room change. Polk is now in two, McCrea is in four. Operations, do you copy? We need a scenario adjustment. Miss Lin. We've got the blood work back on Louden. Her levels are good, but we're recommending a 50mg bump of Rohyptase to increase libido. -Sold. -Do we pipe it in or do you wanna do it orally? -Ask me that again, only slower. -You're a pig. Guess how we're slowing down cognition. I don't know. -The hair dye. -Dumb blonde. Very artistic. Works its way into the blood, through the scalp. Very gradual. Chem department keeps their end up. I'll see it when I believe it. -MAN: Control? -Yeah, go ahead. I have the harbinger on line two. Oh, Christ. Can you take a message? Ah, I don't think so. He's really pushy. (MOUTHS WORDS) Um, to be honest, he's kind of freaking me out. -OK. Put him on. -(CLICK!) Mordecai, baby, what's happening? How's the weather up top? The lambs have passed through the gate. They are come to the killing floor. Well, you're doing a great job out there. By the numbers, man. You got us started off just right. So we'll talk to you later, OK? Their blind eyes see nothing of the horrors to come. Their ears are stopped. They are the gods' fools. Well, that's how it works. MORDECAI: Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of... Am I on speakerphone? No. Absolutely not. Speakerphone, no. No, I wouldn't do that. Yes, I am. I can hear the echo. Oh, my God. You're right. Hang on one second, I'll take you off. MORDECAI: That's rude. I don't know who's in the room. -Fine. There. -(CLICK!) -You're off. -(OVER SPEAKERPHONE) Thank you. Don't take this lightly, boy. It wasn't all by your numbers. The fool nearly derailed the invocation with his insolence. The ancient ones see everything. -And they will not be... -(SITTERSON GIGGLES) I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I? (ALL LAUGH) HADLEY: Oh, my God, Mordecai! I can't believe it, it did it again! -Mordy? -(LAUGHS) What happens next? But it's hard to let it go. . All right, so, this is Tim. 34-year-old male. RTC. Multi-vehicle... VOICES OVERLAP I think about the car crash a lot. I know he caused it and I reacted the best way possible. But it's hard to let it go. SOMBRE MUSIC When I asked what had happened to him, the doctors said he really wore the impact ` any more and things would've been much worse. They said he was lucky ` lucky I wasn't going any faster. Thank you. SOMBRE MUSIC CONTINUES It's OK. MUSIC CONTINUES It's OK. . -(HOLDEN WHOOPS) -DANA: Oh, my God! (SCREAMS) Oh! That's cold! Whoo! That's the cold... JULES: Yeah? How cold? Is it worth it? Come on, Jules. Life is risk. Yeah, I might just risk lying out in the sun for a while. Boo. -Hey, what is that? -What? -In the lake, right there. -Oh, come on. No, I'm serious. Right there. There! There! God, looks just like my girlfriend! (SCREAMS) -(LAUGHS) -Oh, my God! There's something else in the lake! -It's a gorgeous man! -I'm gonna kill you! Don't kill the gorgeous man! -We're endangered! -(SCREAMS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Alright, last chance. It's post time. Dig deep, people. Betting windows are closing. OK. HADLEY: OK, who's still out? Ah, let's see. We got Engineering, we got R & D, we got Electrical. Did you see who they picked? They're practically giving their money away. You should talk, Aquaman. (CHUCKLES) -What do you mean? -Ah, nothing. OK, alright. I'm not even sure we have one of these. Zoology swears we do. They'd know. OK. Alright, people. Hey, what do you got? No, they've already been picked. -What? No. Who took them? -Maintenance. Maintenance? They pick the same thing every year. What do you want from me? If they were creative, they wouldn't be in Maintenance. You'll have to split this if you win. You wanna switch? Um, I don't know, I don't know. What do you think? More than anything, I just want this moment to end. Not betting? Not for me. Thanks. Seems a little harsh, doesn't it? It's just people letting off steam. This job isn't easy however those clowns may behave. Does the director... Do they know about this downstairs? The director doesn't care about this stuff. As long as everything goes smoothly upstairs, as long as the kids do as they're told. But then it's fixed. No, no, no. How can you wager on this when you control the outcome? No, we just get 'em in the cellar. They take it from there. No, they have to make the choice of their own free will. Otherwise the system doesn't work. It's like the harbinger. It's this creepy old fuck, practically wears a sign 'You will die'. Why do we put him there? The system. They have to choose to ignore him and they have to choose what happens in the cellar. Yeah, we rig the game as much as we need to, but in the end, they don't transgress... They can't be punished. So what's it gonna be, Truman? You in? Window's closing. I'm fine. OK. That's it, gang! The board is locked! -Let's get this party started! -(OTHERS CHEER) Let's get this party started! (HIP-HOP PLAYS) -CURT: There you go. -MARTY: OK, my turn. Jules. -Mmm. -(CURT LAUGHS) Truth or dare? -Let's go dare. -Alright. I dare you to make out with... Please say Dana, please say Dana, please say Dana. That moose over there. Marty, have you ever seen a moose before? Whatever that mysterious beast is. -That's a wolf. -That's clearly a wolf. I'm living in a womb of reefer. Leave me alone. -(BOTH LAUGH) -Jules... ..I dare you to make out with that wolf. No problem. CURT: Yoo! Who? Me? Why, yes, I am new in town. How did you know? (LAUGHS) Oh, my God, that is so sweet of you to say. -I just coloured it, in fact. -(OTHERS LAUGH) No, no, no. There's no need to huff and puff. I'll let you come in. Oh. Ohh. Thank you. -MARTY: Yeah. -Alright. Yeah, baby! Whoo! JULES: Now, then. -Dana. -Truth. What's that supposed to mean? I'm just skipping ahead. You're gonna say dare, she's gonna dare you to do something you don't like, and then you'll puss out and say that you wanted truth all along. Really? OK, Jules, dare. -(BANG!) -(GASPS) What the hell was that? DANA: It's the cellar door. The wind must've blown it open. MARTY: Ah, that makes what kind of sense? What do you think is down there? (OMINOUS MUSIC) Why don't we find out? Dana. I dare you. (STAIRS CREAK) How long do I have to stay down here? CURT: Oh, you know, just till morning. (DANA SCREAMS) HOLDEN: Dana. You OK? Yeah. Sorry, I just scared myself. Well, you called for help. That voids the dare. -Take your top off. -Tsk. CURT: What? I don't make up the rules. Oh, my God. JULES: Look at all this. Uh, guys... ..I'm not sure it's awesome to be down here. Guys? Dude, seriously, your cousin is into some weird shit. Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure this ain't his. Maybe it was the people who put in that mirror thing. DANA: Some of this stuff looks really old. It's beautiful. MARTY: Maybe we should go back upstairs. I dare you all to go upstairs. (MUSIC BOX PLAYS GENTLE TUNE) (TENSE MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (CLICK!) Guys? Guys, listen to this. (READS) "April 4. "Father was cross with me and said I lacked the true faith. "I wish I could prove my devotion "as Judah and Matthew proved on those travellers." What is that? Diary of Anna Patience Buckner, 1903. "Mama screamed most of the night. "I prayed that she might find faith "but she only stopped when Papa cut her belly "and stuffed the coals in. "Judah told me in my dream "that Matthew took him to the black room, "so I know he is killed. "I want to understand the glory of the pain like Matthew. "But cutting the flesh makes him have a husband's bulge "and I do not get like that." -Jesus. Can we not...? -No. Go on. -Why? -I want to know. "I have found it. "In the oldest books. The way of saving our family. "My good arm is hacked up and et, "so I hope this will be readable. "That a believer will come and speak this to our spirits. "Then we will be restored and the great pain will return." And then...then there's something in Latin. OK, I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand here - do not read the Latin. (HAUNTING FEMALE WHISPER) Read it. What the fuck? FEMALE: Read it out loud. -"Dolor..." -No, no, no. -Stop being a fucking baby. -Curt! CURT: It's a diary. It doesn't even mean anything. -Dana! -"Dolor supervivo caro. "Dolor sublimis caro. "Dolor ignio animus." (CHILLING MUSIC) (GRUNTS) -We have a winner! -(CHEERING) It's the Buckners, ladies and gentlemen! The Buckners pull a 'W'. Alright, that means that congratulations go to Maintenance! -Yeah! -(OTHERS GROAN) Who share the pot with Ronald the intern. -Yeah! Whoo! -That's not fair. -I had zombies too. -Yes, you did. Yes, you had zombies. But this is 'Zombie Redneck Torture Family', see? They're entirely separate species. Like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal. Yeah. Well, there's always next year. . TRUMAN: They're like something from a nightmare. No. They're something nightmares are from. Everything in our stable is remnant of the old world. Courtesy of you-know-who. Monsters. Magic. Gods. You get used to it. Should you? Oh, man. I'm sorry. -He had the conch in his hands. -I know. A couple more minutes, who knows what might've happened? I am never gonna see a merman. Ever. Dude, be thankful. Those things are terrifying. And the clean-up on them is a nightmare. -So the Buckners. -Yeah. Well, they may be zombified, pain-worshipping backwoods idiots.. But they're OUR zombified, pain-worshipping backwoods idiots. -With a 100% clearance rate. -True. So should we call Japan? Tell them to take the rest of the weekend off? Yeah, right. They're Japanese. What are they gonna do - relax? I'd just like to see them fall on their asses for once. Oh, God, don't even joke. Every other branch has airballed. We need the Japanese crew to get it done. There's too much riding on this. (GIRLS SCREAM) (SLOW HOUSE MUSIC) Fuck, yeah, baby. This is so classy. Come on, like you wouldn't want a piece of that. Can we not talk about people in pieces anymore tonight? Oh. Are you feeling lonely, Marty? Marty and I were sweeties in our freshman hall. We made out once. (CHUCKLES) I never did buy that ring. But we're still... ..close. I have a theory about all this. That's our cue to bail. Tommy Chong here has a theory. Come on, baby. Don't worry, you can tell it to egghead here if he's not too busy devirginising Dana. (LAUGHS) Jules, do you wanna go lie down? That's exactly the point. Come on, mush, mush. JULES: Don't push me around. CURT: Not around, baby. Straight line. (DOOR CREAKS) (DOOR CLOSES) You seriously believe nothing weird is going on? Conspiracy? The way everybody's acting. Why is Jules suddenly a celebu-tard? And since when does Curt pull this alpha-male bullshit? I mean, he's a sociology major. He's on full academic scholarship, and now he's calling his friend an egghead? Curt's just drunk. I've seen Curt drunk. Jules too. Well, then maybe it's something else. Wha... You're not seeing what you don't want to see. Puppeteers. -Puppeteers? -Pop-Tarts? Did you say you have Pop-Tarts? Marty, I love you, but you're really high. We are not who we are. I'm gonna go read a book with pictures. Thank you. (TRANSLATES) "The pain outlives the flesh. "The flesh returns..." or re... "..has a meeting place." What is that? The Latin that you read in the basement. You speak Latin? Not well. Not since 10th grade. Weird how it all comes back. Well, it's a weird kind of night. I'm sorry about tonight. Everybody... Do I lose points if I tell you I'm having a pretty nice time? No. You can tell me that. (GIGGLES) What are you running away for? (SCREAMS) Don't spill on me! Did I get a little beer on your shirt? I guess it'll have to come off, huh? Not here. Baby, come on. We're all alone. -I'm chilly. -(ALL GROAN) OK, guys, that's it. Let's go. We've got a job to do. Your basic human needs disgust me. Get out of here. Do we have temperature control in this sector? On it. Engaging pheromone mists. It's so dark. Take me inside? Come on, this is why we came here. It's romantic. OK, baby, let's see some boobies. Show us the goods. Does it really matter if we see her? We're not the only ones watching, kid. Gotta keep the customer satisfied. You understand what's at stake here? -(GIGGLES) -(LAUGHS) -(GROWLS) -(LAUGHS) (MOANS) Score. (TENSE MUSIC) -(SCREAMS) -Ah! -Jules! -(SCREAMS) Fuck! -Curt! -Ahh! (GRUNTS) Ahh, fuck! -Ahh! -CURT! (SCREAMS) -(GRUNTS) -(SCREAMS) Ahh! (GASPS AND SCREAMS) No. No. Please! Please! No! No! -No! -(SCREAMS) This we offer in humility and fear. For the blessed peace of your eternal slumber. -As it ever was. -As it ever was. Nemo, man, you gotta wake up. Your shit is topsy-turvy. (WOMAN WHISPERS) I'm gonna go for a walk. OK. I swear to fucking God, somebody is talking. Or I'm pretty sure someone is. -Oh... -I'm gonna go for a walk. Enough! What are you saying? Huh? What do you want? You think I'm a puppet, huh? You think I'm a puppet, gonna do a little fucking puppet dance! I'm the boss of my own brain, so give it up. I'm gonna go for a walk. . I don't wanna... I mean, I've never... -I don't mean 'never'. -Hey. Nothing you don't want. He's got a husband bulge. (WHISTLES) I thought there'd be stars. We are abandoned. (EERIE MUSIC) -Fuck! -Fucking run! -What the fuck ha... -Ahh! -Curt! -Dead bitch! -Jesus, what happened? -Curt! MARTY: The fuck! Curt, what the fuck? Where are you hurt? Is all of this from you? -It's OK! Curt, you're OK! -Where's Jules? She's gone. We've gotta get out of here. No. No. -Wait. -Dana, don't open that. I'm not leaving here without Jules. That dead girl's out there! (SCREAMS) No! CURT: Dana, come on! -What is that thing? -Fuck! I don't know, but there's more of them. More of them? MARTY: I saw a young girl all zombied like him. But she was missing an arm. Oh, my God. Patience. The diary. Look, we gotta lock this place down. -He's right. -We'll go room by room. Barricade every window and door. We gotta play it safe. No matter what happens, we have to stay together. Ah, fuck! Calm down. Watch the master work. This isn't right. HOLDEN: What? What's the matter? This isn't right. We should split up. We can cover more ground that way. Yeah. Yeah. Good idea. Really? Whoa! Alright, guys, you guys get in your rooms. Lock 'em in. (GASPS) What the fuck? -(BANG) -Ohh! Fuck. (LAMP SHATTERS) What the...? What the fuck? Uh-oh. That's not good. Out of the way. Out of the way. Out of the way. Chem department, I need 500cc of Thorazine pumped into room three. -No, no, no, no, no, no, no. -Stand by, chem. Judah Buckner to the rescue. What the fuck? Fuck! What the fuck?! (GASPS) Oh, my God. I'm on a reality TV show. (LAUGHS) My parents are gonna think I'm such a burnout. (SCREAMS) Ugh! Ahh! (GRUNTS) Arrgh! (GROANS) No! No! NO! No! (SCREAMS AND GROANS) Help me! Help me! -(STABBING SOUNDS) -(GROANS) Must be getting excited downstairs. Greatest show on earth. (SCREAMS) (GASPS) No! No! -Somebody help! -(CRASH!) Come on! -(GASPS) -(EXHALES) (BOTH GRUNT) -(GLASS SHATTERS) -(SCREAMS) -Use the bed! -Come on! Come on! Holden. -It's empty. -Go. -(DOORKNOB RATTLES) -Curt? -Unlock the door. -I can't. Get to the basement. (SLOW DRIPPING) This is the black room. Nice. From the diary. This is where he killed them. This is where he kills us. No way. No. He's not gonna kill us. We just gotta find a door. OK? Let's just check the walls, OK? Curt? I mean, there's gotta be some... -(GRUNTS) -(GASPS) Ahh! Oh, man! Arrgh! (GROANS) You like pain? How's that work for you? (GRUNTS) (HOLDEN GROANS) HADLEY: These fucking zombies. Remember when you could just throw a girl in a volcano? SITTERSON: How old do you think I am? (BLOOD TRICKLES) (DANA GASPS) -Let's move! Come on! Go! -(SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) What about Marty? They got him. (SCREAMS) (GIRLS SING IN JAPANESE) (CROAKS) (ALL CHEER) Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! -(INTERCOM BEEPS) -(PUSHES BUTTON) -You seeing this? -Perfect record, huh? The Japan crew should've had this in the bag. They fucked us. How hard is it to kill 9-year-olds? Zero fatality. Total wash. I'm telling you, you want good product, you gotta buy American. Any word from downstairs? Downstairs doesn't care about Japan. The director trusts us. Hey, you just sweat the chem, Lin. While these morons are singing 'What a Friend We Have in Shinto', we are bringing the pain. Yeah, and what the fuck's up with this guy's pot, anyway? He's supposed to be drooling and instead he almost makes us? We treated the shit out of it. OK, we've got the Rambler heading toward the tunnel. LIN: The fool's toast anyway. And so are we if you don't get this under control. -Shit. -What? -'Shit' why? -Gotta go. Work to do. You guys are humanity's last hope. If the ancients rise we... -There's no cave-in. - What? The fucking tunnel's open! -Control to Demolition. -We're dark on the whole sector. Try to bypass it. -What do you think I'm doing? -Open the door. Look out! Get out of the way! Make a hole! -What the fuck's going on? -We don't know. Electrical said there was a glitch up top. That tunnel should've blown hours ago. -We didn't get the order. -Come on. Right there. Hadley, what is going on? Hadley! Why hasn't the tunnel blown? -(DANA SCREAMS) -(TYRES SCREECH) . No. No, no, no. No fucking way! Can't believe this, man. This ain't happening. It's right there. HOLDEN: Alright, we got any climbing gear? Ropes? Yeah. In my fucking dorm room. We can't go back. There's no way across. What're we gonna do - jump? Dude. What? (ENGINE REVS) Curt, are you sure about this? I've done bigger jumps than this. You've got a smooth run and maybe a 5-foot differential on the other side. But you've gotta give it everything. Curt. Look, you guys, you stay in the Rambler. I'll get help. If I wipe out, I'll fucking limp for help. But I'm coming back here. I'm coming back with cops and choppers and large fucking guns, and those things are gonna pay. For Jules. Don't hold back. (SNIGGERS) Never do. (REVS ENGINE) -(BAM!) -(BUZZ!) NO! HOLDEN: Curt! DANA: Oh! Oh, God! Oh, God! (THUD AND CLANGING) He hit something. There's nothing. What'd he hit? Puppeteers. Marty was right. Get in the van. Dana. Marty was right. -(BLOOD POURS) -(MACHINERY CHUGS) You're going back. I'm going through. And we'll just drive. There's gotta be another road. Another way out of here. -It won't work. Something will happen. It'll collapse, it'll wash away. Then we just leave the roads altogether. Drive as far as we can into the forest and we go on foot from there. You're missing the point. Please, do not go nuts on me, OK, Dana? You're all I've got now. -I'm OK. -Good, 'cause I need you calm. OK, no matter what happens, we gotta stay... (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) (SCREAMING SUBSIDES) (GASPS) Goddamn, that was close! Yeah, photo-fuckin'-finish. I don't understand. You're celebrating? They're celebrating. I'm drinking. But she's still alive. How can the ritual be complete? The virgin's death is optional as long as it's last. Main thing is that she, you know, suffers. That she did. It's so strange. I'm actually rooting for this girl. She's got so much heart. And you think of all the pain and the... Tequila is my lady! My lady! Come on in, guys! Come on in. Come on in. You're welcome. Tequila! From darkness, there is light! (PANTS) (GASPS) (SCREAMS) (POP SONG PLAYS) I wish that I could do what you do. -Oh, my God. -Yeah, it's masterful. Oh, I don't know. You know, tonight was solid. I don't know. MAN: Are you kidding? Classic denouement. -When the van hits the lake... -I screamed. -Right? -And the water rushing in -and the zombies... -Primal terror. I just think it would've been cooler with a merman. Do you know if we get the overtime bonus on this one? Accounting's over there. Ask them. I don't need to. I already know the answer. I'm an intern. So I don't qualify for OT. It's funny that you like the ballet because I happen to have two tickets to your favourite... You knuckleheads. You almost gave me a heart attack with that tunnel. Like I said, it wasn't our fault. We didn't get the order. (LAUGHS) Alright, I'm just giving you a hard time. -Come on, give us a hug. -Hey. No, seriously, that wasn't our fault. There was a glitch. Power re-route from upstairs. What do you mean 'upstairs'? (PHONE RINGS) Turn the fucking music off. (MUSIC STOPS, RINGING CONTINUES) (SOFTLY) Hello? That's impossible. Everything was done within the guidelines. The virgin's the only one... No. I-I am not doubting you. Which one? Arrgh! (GROANS) (RATTLES) -Marty. -Hi. -Dana! -(GRUNTS) Dana, come on. Ohh! Marty. Wait. We're going in the grave? Dana, come on! . -(ELECTRICITY CABLES CRACKLE) -What is this place? -(YELPS) -Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. OK. (BREATHES DEEPLY) Yeah. I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What have you been up to? Nobody else, huh? Yeah. Yeah, I figured. You figured everything. Oh, not at all. But I do know some stuff. As in... -(CRACKLE) -(INDISTINCT SOUND) It's an elevator. Somebody sent those dead fucks up here to get us. Now, there's no controls inside, but there's maintenance overrides in there. And I think I can get it to go down. Do we want to go down? Where else are we gonna go? Come on. Get in. OK, OK, OK. Ah! God, fucking zombie arm. Oh, shit. -(GROWLS) -(BOTH SCREAM) Oh, my God. (GHOSTLY HOLLOW MOAN) (DANA SCREAMS) (GHOST SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (MUSIC BOX PLAYS) We chose. What? Oh! MARTY: Fuck. DANA: In the cellar. All that shit we were playing with. They made us choose. They made us choose how we die. (SCREAMS) No! (CONTINUES SCREAMING) -(CREATURE BARKS) -(MAN LAUGHS) (VARIOUS MONSTER CALLS) We saw them go down the access drop. They have to be in one of these. Internal security can... I don't care if it's not protocol. Are you fucking high? It's the fool! Do not touch the girl. If he outlives her, this whole thing goes to hell. Take him out first. Clean-up says the prep team missed one of the kid's stashes. Whatever he's been smoking's been immunising him to our shit. How does that help us right now? What? No, if you have a confirmed kill, take her out too. There. 3606. Gotcha. Bring 'em down. -(LIFT DOOR PINGS) -(BOTH GASP) -Step out of the elevator! -Why are you trying to kill us? -Step out! Just the girl! -What? -Just me? Do it! Ahh! Good work, zombie arm. (FEMALE VOICE OVER P.A.) You shouldn't be here. This should've gone differently, ended more quickly. I can only imagine your pain and confusion. But know this, what's happening to you is part of something bigger. Something older than anything known. You've seen horrible things. An army of nightmare creatures. But they are nothing compared to what came before. What lies below. It's our task to placate the ancient ones. As it's yours to be offered up to them. Forgive us and let us get it over with. Come on. Go in that room. (GRUNTS) -(GUNFIRE) -(DANA SCREAMS) Army of nightmares, huh? Let's get this party started. -(WARNING BEEPS) -Hold fire! (MECHANICAL WHIRRING AND CLICKING) -(MECHANICAL NOISES STOP) -Oh, shit. -(DING!) -(MONSTERS SCREECH AND SCREAM) -(WHIRRING AND SAWING NOISES) -(MONSTERS LAUGH) (SIREN BEEPS) -(MAN SCREAMS) -Go! Go! Go! -(INDISTINCT SHOUTING) -Move out! -Get back! -Man down! We need back-up! (DING!) (MONSTERS GROWL, SCREECH AND SCREAM) (WOMAN SCREAMS) (DING!) (DING!) (MONSTER SCREECHES) (DING!) (HUBBUB) (SCREAMS) (ROARS) -(MAN WHIMPERS) -MAN: What have we done?! -(WOMAN SCREAMS) -MAN: Please don't... Lead Officer Truman to security command, requesting immediate reinforcements. Code black. I repeat, code black. Where the fuck are you guys? HADLEY: Sector 12, down. Sector 8, down. Sector 3, down. Jesus Christ! SITTERSON: Why aren't the defences working? Where's the fucking gas? HADLEY: Something chewed through the utility shaft connections. -Something which? -Something scary! -(GENERATOR STARTS UP) -(EMERGENCY SIREN RESUMES) (WOMAN SCREAMS) -(CLANG!) -(SCREAMS) -(DING!) -(MONSTER ROARS) (SNARLS) -Ahh! -(ROARS FEROCIOUSLY) The north exit is blocked. You can't go there. (MONSTER SCREECHES) (MONSTER GRUNTS) (MONSTER GROWLS) (BOTH SCREAM) (WOMAN SCREAMS) -(GASPS) -Whoa! Go, go, go. Go. -(GROWLS) -(SCREAMS) (LAUGHS) (MUSIC BOX PLAYS) (LAUGHS) (UNICORN WHINNIES) (DING!) (MOURNFUL MUSIC) (SHOUTS) Fuck! We're running out of time! It's on lockdown. I'm trying to bypass. Ahh! (MONSTERS GROWL) (GRENADE BEEPS) Ohh! -(HIGH-PITCHED RING) -LIN: Hadley! (GRUNTS) -(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) -(RINGING STOPS) -Oh, come on! -(MONSTER GROWLS) (HADLEY SCREAMS) -My God. -God. -(MONSTER GRUNTS) -Come on. (SCREAMS) -(GASPS) -Arrgh! Ohh! Ohh. It's you. -(GASPS) -No, no. Please, please, please. Please. Please. Please. Kill him. OK, Dana, come on. Dana. Here, it's easier with this. . Look at these. Five of them. What are they? Us. I should have seen it like you did. This is part of a ritual. A ritual sacrifice? Great. You tie someone to a stone, get a fancy dagger and a bunch of robes. -Is that that complicated? -No. It's simple. They don't just want to see us killed. They want to see us punished. Punished for what? WOMAN: For being young. It's different in every culture. And it has changed over the years, but it has always required youth. There must be at least five. The whore. She's corrupted. She dies first. The athlete. The scholar. The fool. All suffer and die at the hands of whatever horror they have raised, leaving the last to live or die as fate decides. The virgin. Me? Virgin? We work with what we have. But what if you don't pull it off? -They rise. -Who does? (LOW RUMBLE) -What's beneath us? -The ancient ones. The gods that used to rule the earth. As long as they accept our sacrifice, they remain below. But the other rituals have all failed. (BANG!) The sun is coming up in eight minutes. If you live to see it, the world will end. Maybe that's the way it should be. If you've got to kill all my friends to survive, maybe it's time for a change. We're not talking about change. We're talking about the agonising death of every human soul on the planet. Including you. You can die with them. Or you can die for them. Gosh, they're both so enticing. (GASPS) Wow. The whole world, Marty. DIRECTOR: Is in your hands, Dana. There is no other way. You have to be strong. Yeah, Dana. You feeling strong? I'm sorry. (OMINOUS MUSIC) So am I. -(GROWLS) -(SCREAMS) (GRUNTS AND GROWLS) Oww! -Ah! -Arrgh! (BOTH GRUNT) (GASPS) Marty. -(COCKS GUN) -Ahh! Marty! (GRUNTS) (DULL RUMBLE) Hey. You know... ..I don't think Curt even has a cousin. Huh! How are you? Going away. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have. Hey, no. Shh. No. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world. No. Hey, you were right. Humanity... It's time to give someone else a chance. (BOOM!) Giant evil gods. I wish I could've seen them. I know. That would have been a fun weekend. (ROAR) (HARD ROCK INTRO) SONG: # Gave up trying to figure it out # But my head got lost along the way # Worn out from giving it up My soul I pissed it all away # Still stings these shattered nerves # Pigs we get what pigs deserve # I'm going all the way down I'm leaving today # Come, come, come on You've gotta fill me up # Come, come Gotta let me inside of you # Come, come, come on You gotta fix me up # Come, come Gotta let me inside of you # Still feel it all slipping away # But it doesn't matter anymore # Everybody's still chipping away # But it doesn't matter anymore # Look through these blackened eyes # You'll see 10,000 lies # My lips may promise but my heart is a whore # Come, come, come on You've gotta fill me up # Come, come Gotta let me inside of you # Come, come, come on You gotta fill me up # Come, come Gotta let me get through to you # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right # I know it's all getting away # And it comes to me as no surprise # I know what's coming to me is never going to arrive # Fresh blood through tired skin New sweat to drown me in # Dress up this rotten carcass just to make it look alive # Come, come, come on You've gotta fill me up # Come, come Gotta let me inside of you # Come, come, come on You gotta fix me up # Come, come Gotta let me get through to you # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right now # This isn't meant to last This is for right # I want you to make me # I want you to take me # I want you to break me # Then I want you to throw me away # I want you to make me # I want you to take me # I want you to break me # Then I want you to throw me away # I want you to make me # I want you to take me # I want you to break me # Then I want you to throw me away. # www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016