Do you remember what it was like to be four years old? I want to be with you. Maybe I can be with both of you. Yeah! Five years old? Are you going to be in love with me? Yes. Hello? I can't get out! Oh, my God, that boy. This is where futures are formed. Go, go, go! This year, new children... ..new challenges... Oh, I give up! ..in a brand-new school, where every corner has been rigged with cameras... Oh, they're watching us! ..and wired for sound. Who is that who's just screaming? ALL SCREAM No! You're not listening to me! YOU'RE not listening to ME! YOU'RE not listening to ME! This is epic. With unprecedented access to every tussle... You keep having turns. ..every kindness... You can be my friend. Thank you. ..and all the raw emotion... Oh, no! Oh, no! ..we eavesdrop on their secret lives. I love you, Taysia. Last time on The Secret Life Of 4 Year Olds, Layton fell in love... ..and Enzo made a feathered friend. There's a chick! Look! It's a week since our four-year-olds first met... Am I the first one? ..and five of them are returning for a second visit. Bye-bye, Mummy. This week, the children will be joined by five new playmates. 'What's the best thing about being four?' You know more things than others. Be good. OK! Boys, come in our house! Hello! 'Do you like following the rules?' I prefer to make the rules up myself. 'Why?' Erm...I don't know. I just want to do what I want to do. The person who made the game, you have to follow their rules. Orlagh! Hi, guys! Observing every moment are scientists Dr Elizabeth Kilbey and Dr Alison Pike. Who are outside? We've got new kids. "We've got new kids." Mm. "They belong to us!" Enzo! Out in the playground, all the children, old and new, are getting to know each other. Are you a boy or a girl? A boy. Do you want me to push you? No, I don't need help. Shall we play together? Yup. What's your name? Taysia. Taysia. Yeah. I do live very far away. I live in Wales. Doesn't mean I'm a whale, does it? No. Cos I don't look like a whale, do I? THEY GIGGLE Going to get everyone to come and take a seat. The children are gathered together by teachers Kate and Simon... So, my name's Kate. ..but this week, they've got competition. So... Excuse me. Yes, Enzo? I've got something important to say. OK. Remember that chick and we gave it a new home? Mm-hm. Shall we check on it this afternoon when we go in the garden? Sure, why not? After lunch? Sure. Sounds like a good idea. It's a very good way of saying, "I was here last week..." Yes. "..and I know something that went on." You know, it's like a bit of a power play. Put your hand up if you want to see that chick. Right, put your hands down. What really sets apart four-year-olds from each other is their language and communication skills. And there can be a huge variety in the extent to which children of this age can speak. Would you like to introduce yourself, Enzo? My name's Enzo. And would you like to tell them your favourite animal? Yes! The Lion Guard, what protects the Pride Lands from the hyenas. What's so key about having advanced language skills is that it enables you to assert yourself. It helps you really find a place within the group and begin to relate to others. It's a huge advantage. And, Megan, what's your favourite animal? A chicken. CHILDREN SQUAWK LIKE CHICKENS Enzo lives in Bristol with his mum Nicola, a security specialist, dad Andy, a police officer, and younger brother Asa. Enzo started talking very early. I think he was almost... He was just past being one and we were getting words, and then nonstop. SHE LAUGHS He has a new word every day. He'll say, "New word!" That's a big word. It's three words connected together. He talks in his sleep, as well. He actually talks in his sleep, and it's often about trains. His brain doesn't switch off. That's the Flying Scotsman. It was the first locomotive to reach the speed of 100mph! And he doesn't fly and he's not Scottish. Big dollop. He's almost like an alien race, isn't he? He's come to this world, come to our planet and, "I'm just going to find out everything I can about you." A and B. That one? Enzo's grandpa lives just down the road. So, that one can go... They've got a lovely relationship, haven't they? Enzo and Grandpa would just spend all day, every day together. If you come and have a look... Everybody else misses out. Grandpa is number one by far. Yeah, he is. 'We are a bit of a double act.' We bounce off each other a little bit, as well. He's got the same sense of humour as me, and that's why I'm his best friend. I think he's either going to be an engineer or a dictator. You can test it out if you want. Digger away! No, guys, I'm the boss. OK. Hey, you can't put this beam on here. It looks like Enzo is really the chief engineer, and I don't even know if he's doing so much as delegating to the twins. We don't need this beam. It's just his show, but he's all right with other children to play with his creation. Boys! SHE SCREAMS No, don't climb on that! SHE SCREAMS Everyone, listen to me! This was not installed for walking! It was installed for wheels, all right? As the morning gets underway, the children are summoned to the amphitheatre for a challenge. All right, who can stay silent? No, I can't. Do you know what being silent means? CHILDREN: Yes! It's when we don't make any noise at all. Staying silent for these four-year-olds is really challenging. We no longer adhere to the idea that children should be seen and not heard. The children who can stay silent will get a chance to play with this megaphone. VOICE DISTORTS: 'Hello. How are you?' 'A-a-a-h!' Excuse me? CHILDREN LAUGH How cool is that? Who do you think is going to break the silence? I think Enzo's going to really struggle because he is so verbal. Excuse me? Enzo, your question. Why is there one, two, three, four buttons? There's lots of different voices. Different voices that you can make. Yeah? OK. It's difficult. This requires a lot of self-regulation, especially when you're a child with a lot to say. When we're ready... Are we ready? OK! Yeah, start! When we're ready... Are we ready? Done! Who was that? Don't talk! Come back! Ten seconds in, the silence is broken. That was Sam, but it was all about policing. Don't! Don't. No-one talks yet. SHE SQUEALS I can't do this! Layton, that is a good strategy. Lots of visual cues, lots of reminding. 'What does silent mean?' Silent means shut your mouth, and zip it! Zip! HE MUMBLES After a minute, Layton slips up. What the children don't know is that Kate and Simon have been out of sight, but not out of earshot. The timer! The time is up! Not everyone has the patience to wait for the results. Don't! Don't, don't! Don't! ALISON: But the thing is, breaking rules can be really fun. Um, Alison, I could... I could never condone such behaviour! VOICE DISTORTS: 'Hello?' SHE LAUGHS 'Hello, hello!' The injustice of that, it's written all over Enzo's face. It's not fair. She broke the rules and now she's having a go. We need to have some justice pretty darn quick. Kate, the timer's gone, and do you know, while the timer was on, everyone spoke into it. I didn't speak! Except for me, so I win it. Except for me! I didn't say a word. The children who didn't say anything at all, which means that they get to use the megaphone now, is... Orlagh, Taysia, Enzo and Megan. So, those four children were absolutely silent. I didn't even say a word! Everyone may also go off and play. Fine, I'm going away! HE SNIFFLES VOICE DISTORTS I won the megaphone! As I was leaving, I looked back at the others and they had really sad faces. When can I have a go? Layton, I just want to check what you thought the rules of the game were. So, was it that you weren't allowed to say anything? Yes. Yeah, so, you weren't allowed to speak at all? I didn't speak! So, you whispered once? Yeah. Oh. What Layton is showing us here is how disappointed he is in himself. I mean, that is very sophisticated. But you did very well in not saying lots of things. Yeah. You OK? 'Why didn't you manage to stay quiet for five minutes?' Cos I like being a chatterbox. VOICE DISTORTS 1 THINKS: 'I blame the ocean. That's what divides us as people. 'I mean, if we drained all the sea from the planet, then we'd be connected. RADIO PLAYS IN CAR 'I have two PhDs. Should I go for a third? 'I don't wanna throw the sea away. 'I mean, you've gotta keep it; it's of some use.' CAR HONKS 'Maybe up in space, in a bowl. 'Of course, we'd have to house all the animals. 'Meanwhile, down on Earth, all those shipwrecks could become playgrounds for kids; kids of all nations!' TYRES SCREECH, CRASH! RADIO CONTINUES PLAYING BREATHES LOUDLY . Yay, Jessy, look! I'm a princess! You have to save me. It's the afternoon of their first day together, and the children are playing outside. You need this! Guys! Check this out! Hey, I had that first! Want a crown? You can have this. You're not coming in. I am coming in. You can't come in! This is my car. THEY BLOW RASPBERRIES Don't get me wet! We certainly have two strong female characters in Milana and Evie-Rae. And as we can see, they are drawn together. But what draws them together can also push them apart. Look what I've got! What? Let go. SHE CRIES Now, that was a firework ready to go off, wasn't it? What's happened, what's happened, what's happened? She pushed me out! How do you make friends? You say, "I love you" and then that's how you make... Then you say, "I'm going to see you again". I think I know the answer. Enzo's got a suggestion, I think maybe we should have a listen. Maybe you should take it in turns. What do you think about that, girls? No, I'm not going to do that. Well, just remember, if you be bad you don't get what you want. If you be good, you do. The world according to Enzo. I mean, Enzo for Prime Minister? Choo chooooooo. Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga. Choo chooooooo. Inside, the boys are playing with the trains, and the girls are in the kitchen. This time I'm the mummy. Can I play? Can I play? Can I play? Who do you like playing with most, boys or girls? I play with the girls. Girls. Boys. Girls. I've got all the stuff that we need, now. What's your name? Layton. Layton. L-a-y-ton. Layton? There's a real social stigma about girls playing with boys or boys playing with girls. This is too many! And at age four, it's certainly not full-blown. Who wants some gingerbread? Four-year-olds still have relative freedom to choose playmates regardless of whether they're girls or boys. Are girls better than boys? Yes. Why? Because... ..they're gooder. He's a bit of a softie. He's a bit of a tyke sometimes. He is yeah, definitely a bit of a tyke, yeah. Layton lives in Essex with his mum, Lauren, a rent officer, and dad Warren, a salesman. He went through a little stage, he wanted to do everything like you, didn't he? Like grooming himself like you, putting his little gel in his hair and using the hairdryer, wasn't it? Yeah, every day he'd get up, and he'd make sure he'd put splashes on his aftershave. It smells like strawberry. He likes to be centre of attention, I can't see where he gets that from! He's not like a stereotypical boy, is he? No. As in wanting a rough and tumble with the lads. He does like the ladies, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. Yeah. He definitely has a shine to them, a lot of them. Then the mirrors. And this to put the engine on, or not. He says girls are gross or they're stinky. Yeah. But it ain't too long until he's cuddling and kissing, is it? Last week at the play centre, someone stole Layton's heart. Oh! Are you looking for a new girlfriend? It's bedtime now. I took my shoes off, like you said. They are too cute! Orlagh and Layton. Isn't that lovely? How old am I? Actually, you're four. And then when I grow up I'll be five. How old are you? I'm going to be about 18, because I'm your mama. I'm going to be about 18, Oh! What about 17? Oh, yeah, 17's a good number. Can my snake come? He's like a girl, actually. Why? Because he's nice, and not rough. Thank you for being quiet, because we're going to sleep. . . Come down this way. Where are we going? It's the afternoon, and the children have been split into two teams, boys and girls, for a building challenge. And stop. Thank you. I want to see some good working together. Enzo, you're the team leader, OK? That means you can tell everyone what to do, and you are really useful. The team leader for your team is going to be Evie-Rae. But we are all going to work together. Are you ready to go? Yeah! All right. Get started. Layton, you pick up that big corner there. This one. The children have been challenged to build a vehicle as a team. So, working together. Evie-Rae, it's going to be one vehicle there, you all help. OK? I want to make an aeroplane. At age four, we know that girls on average are more verbally sophisticated, they are also slightly better at seeing one another's points of view, and being a bit more socially skilled. Remember, guys, you're just making one vehicle altogether. I made a boat! I would expect the girls' team to outperform the boys'. OK, what shall we do first, team leader? Evie-Rae, how is your team working together? Is it working together well? Can I win? Would I win? Milana, it can't be just you that wins, it has to be your whole team that works together to win. But she's not playing with me. Look. The whole essence of working together is you've got to do what I say. Is that working altogether though, girls? This is a car. I'm making a car now. You can't make that! You have to make a different thing, now. Work together. No! No! No! All of us have got to work together. Yeah, we do. Guys, I am... ..the team leader, so I have to decide. I'm going to have that. I can do it, I can do it. Ten seconds left. Oh, my God. Ten, that's it. No more things on, no more things. Right, take a step back, take a step back. Let's look at it. Let's look at it. What is it? It is... ..a machine. A machine? And what does the machine do? It makes postcards for birthdays. It makes postcards for birthdays? Why are you knocking down our vehicle? We're making a different one, now. You don't just tell them what to do, because I'm the leader of this team. Oh! Evie-Rae, assert yourself. Face off. I told the team leader... ..that I am leader. So she's just magically erased the table leader. The team leader role has gone to another person. You're not the team leader. I am. I am the team leader. No, there's only one team leader. Milana loves people. She loves other children. She is very friendly. But she can be quite bossy with her friends, or with her little sister. She's going to mess up all my toys. Milana lives in East London with her mum, Jade, a customer services advisor, and one-year-old sister, Myella. The last year has been hard for Milana, because we moved house, she got a new baby sister, she changed nurseries. We've gone from a house to a flat. It's a whole different ball game not having a garden for her to run around and burn off energy. Jade looks after Milana and her sister by herself. Sometimes I think that some of her frustration comes from the fact that she doesn't get to see her dad as much as she would like to. Maybe when she's having her outbursts or tantrums, maybe that's what it's stemming from, the fact that she misses her dad. Hey! I'm telling the teacher! It's so impulse-driven, isn't it? I feel, I want, I act. And that is, all of us have that in us, we all do. I mean, we've all had moments where we have just reacted so quickly. Milana, you're going to come with me for a second. Come on. Come on. No! Let's go. She said she was helping, but she wasn't, was she? She was being naughty. Why are you naughty? Because I feel sad, so I be naughty. Why do you feel sad? Because I don't have any friends. . Knock, knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? Hey, you just called me a great big poo! It's lunchtime and Layton still has his eye on Orlagh. Knock, knock. Who's there? Layton. Layton who? Yeah. Knock, knock. Do the one... Layton loves his Orlagh one. OK. Knock, knock. Who's there? Layton. Layton who? Layton loved by Orlagh. Layton love my Orlagh who? Layton loved by Orlagh! Layton and Orlagh. I wanted to ask everyone to tell us something that you're really good at. Layton, can you please tell us what's something special about you? I've got... Mummy tells me I've got a lion mane and when I grow up, I'll have a big beard and if I be very special, lion whiskers might grow out of my freckles. Wow! Enzo, can you tell us something that's special about you? I know a word... from China. Yongbao. Wow! So, you've learnt some Chinese, have you? Yeah. Wow! And do you know there's something else I've got to tell you? Right, last one. Actually, there's two more. I mean, Enzo has worked out exactly what language is for - it's for connecting with people. Yeah, yeah. And it's for getting you lots of attention if you're really good at it. Why do you like words, Enzo? Because they give me a lot of information. How many words do you know? Ten. Kahana, what is something that you are really good at? Playing with your toys. Which kind of toys are you especially good at? At the... Crocodile? Crocodile thing? ..running very... Watching Kahana, it really reminds me of how vital language is to help you with nearly all aspects of school life. Hmm. It's about your social relationships, it's about your confidence, it's about your learning. It is just so important. Right, follow me. Oh! Why is there a big box in there? It's the afternoon and a box has been left for the children without any instructions. Wait there, Enzo. But why is there a big box? This is a twist on the traditional temptation task. Normally, we put a temptation in front of children and we explicitly forbid them to touch it. In this case, there's no explicit instruction. Right, we're just going to go and do something and we'll see you in a minute. It's going to be interesting to see, will the children create their own rules around this box? Will they police the rules that they themselves create? Or instead will they take advantage of the fact that there is no instruction and go wild? Ooh! Kahana. Enzo's doing... Enzo is amazing. ..a really good job at distraction, isn't he? Yes. "Let's just build something "and pretend there's not a giant, enticing box right behind me." Yeah. She's seen the balloons. Now they really know the temptation. Don't open it. No! No! No. No. There's a blue pop-pop. What do good boys do? Uh... Kahana is definitely rule-bound. He really loves having rules in place and loves knowing what's right and what's wrong and also loves telling others about it as well. Kahana lives in west London with his mum, his dad - an airline pilot - and three younger siblings. And a cat named Kook. That's Kookie. Kahana was a huge surprise to us, because he was born two months early. He only had one lung inflated, so he was on the ventilator and in an incubator. An incubator. He was working really hard to just do simple things to keep him alive. His speech has probably been a little bit slow. Yeah. I'd say that's been... He's still a bit speech delayed. HE READS UNCLEARLY Sometimes when Kahana is speaking and other people have trouble understanding him, we do have to translate for him. Where's the matching one to this? Cheers. It's very easy, initially, when you first see him, to kind of underestimate what's really lurking behind those eyes, because there is a lot happening. HE GIGGLES Thank you. Don't open! Balloons! SAM AND OLIVER: Why? Kahana's a real enforcer. He has effectively stopped Sam and Oliver in their tracks. That's an efficient use of a voice. Absolutely. Please. But with Kahana's back turned, Layton gives him the slip. No! No! Massive! 'Kahana has shown that even if you struggle with your language skills,' you can still be really assertive, if you're motivated. No! He's worked so hard for so long. He really has. 'Eventually, he was outnumbered,' but I think this has been a really seminal moment for him. When he wants to, he can communicate a message very effectively. THEY SCREAM AND SHOUT And big. And big. And big. And big! Just go away. It's a new day, and having falling out with the girls earlier in the week, Milana is playing by herself. # Hey, diddle, the cow... # On the cow... # And Evie-Rae's shoes have gone missing. I don't know where they are. You don't have yours. You can look for them after lunch. Tell the teacher and the teacher can look for you. Tell the teacher if you want. What happened to your shoes? Someone took them. Evie-Rae's shoes! Does anyone see Evie-Rae's shoes? Evie-Rae's shoes are gone. Somebody's taken it. Keep looking - they've got to be out here somewhere. Who do you think leave my shoes? I don't know who done it. Find Evie-Rae's shoes! They might be over there. Are you sure nobody knows where they are? No, we don't know. No, but I know somewhere where there is a really good hiding spot. Since day one, although these two clash, Milana is clearly really interested in being friends with Evie-Rae. Why do you want to be friends with Evie-Rae? Why do you want to be friends She's nice to her friends. Why do you want to be friends Hello. Fruit doesn't make you fat, only grapes make you fat. THEY LAUGH Evie-Rae, this is the best. Yeah. Throughout the week, we have seen Milana work really hard on her communication and co-operation skills. This has really paid off for her and resulted in a big turnaround in her behaviour. Is it OK if I put my bits on your one? Yeah. I thought you were going say no. Here's your fruit. Hello, everyone. Please can I have some strawberries? Please can I have a grape? You have to wait. Can I have some melon? Banana, please. And the greatest reward is for Milana herself, because she has now achieved what she set out to do at the beginning of the week, which is to build a relationship with Evie-Rae. Chef, this is delicious. MILANA LAUGHS I made it delicious myself. Chef, this is delicious. Evie-Rae was the best and I was the best. So, are you friends with Evie-Rae now? Yep! . How old are you, Taysia? Four. Four? Yes. OK. How old are you? Four. THEY BOTH LAUGH How old are you? Four. I'm four. Are you four? Are you four? Yes. Are you four? Yes. Are you four? Yes. Are you four? Yes. See, everyone's four! I'm ten years old. You aren't! You are four! The week is drawing to a close and the children are taking part in a relay race. I'm going to go first. And we're going to win in half time. Shall we? Yep. I'm not sure who that was. We're going to win... We're... BOTH: Oh, Enzo. Go! Go on, Green Team! Enzo's friends - the twins Sam and Ollie - are the team captains. That's it, Taysia, off you go, up the windy road! Each team member runs a loop of the playground carrying as much rubble as they can. My...my hat! Enzo and Layton are level pegging, but Enzo is keen to win. CHILDREN CHEER Ooh, Enzo, go on! Ooh, sneaky short cut! It's the final leg of the relay and it's twin against twin. Quick, cheer for your team! And Ollie is the first to cross the finish line. Well done! Orange Team, come up and get your crown! Well done! Here we go. Here we go. Oh, Sam! Oh, Sam! It's so difficult when you're four. SAM SOBS Would brothers do this, or is this because they're twins? He really knows how his brother feels. Enzo is also on the losing team. You OK? Enzo, why are you doing that? I'm upset. I'm upset as well. Me too. Why are you upset? Actually, I'm not upset, I'm mad! Why are you mad? Because I didn't win that prize. To have that level of self-awareness... Yes. ..about your emotions is really mature. So even though he's angry, he is holding it together. He's not being aggressive and he's taken himself away. I think that's really clever. That's the beginning of emotional literacy. You need to be able to label your own feelings. I'm sad. Sad feels different to mad or angry, and he's able to work it out, and he's able to explain it to someone else. And I'm also sad because I didn't get any prizes. Not even the chocolate, not even the crown. Then being able to read other people's emotions is step two. Yes. Where? Sad. I'm so sad. How about we're the Royal Family? You're the king and I'm the queen and you're our little girl. No, you're the princess. She's the queen. I'm the prince. Princesses always turn into queens when they get married. Can you go and invite the guests, please? It's the final day and Layton and Orlagh have a big announcement to make. Now, everyone's invited to our wedding! It's quarter past eight now... Quarter past eight now! Got to get going. Ding-dong, ding-ding! So we're getting married, and Taysia's going to be our little girl. What does being married mean? Erm... You live together. And kiss together. Ha-ha-ha! And cuddle together. My darling, it's church time! Quick, my darling... OK, can everyone come to me because it's lunchtime? We didn't even get to marry yet! What, you didn't get to marry each other? No. Why not? Not yet. Guess what, Layton. What? You'll have to live with me when we marry cos... when I'm a parent... ...though? You sit next to me. Yes. We'll marry now, just quick. Wait! Good. No. Are you two married? No! Of course we are! Batman! Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh... Batman! A tiara. Can you help me get dressed in this, please, Simon? I feel like an ugly person now. HE HUMS The children are preparing for a farewell karaoke performance. Ooh-la-la! Ooh-la-la! Ooh-la-la! Layton in a skirt, he was chucking some moves! They're girls' dresses! Ooh-la-la! Look at Evie-Rae! First up, it's Layton, with an ABBA classic. # Super-duper # Lights are gonna find me # When I look so blue # Something in a crowd as you. # Well done, Layton! Next it's Orlagh's big moment. Don't forget your microphone. # Don't cry for me Argentina # The truth is... # She's owning that stage! Look at that! # ..left you # All through my wild days # My mad existence # I kept my promise # Don't keep your distance. # Well done! I'm calling it right now. X Factor 2030. We've got a bigger stage now. Yes. So now all of us can come up. Shall we sing it together as a team? ALL: # ..of my secret potion # I'll make you fall in love # ..than can't be broken... # I've got to fall in love # You got the recipe # You got the recipe # It felt like magic... # # Take a sip of my secret potion # One taste and you'll be mine... # # I've got the recipe # I've got the recipe # It's called black magic! # # And it's called black magic Oh... # For me, the most important thing that these four-year-olds have learned this week is their ability to find their place within the group. And to build their language skills so they can become successful communicators, because this is what they need to take them through into education and on into later life. # One taste and you'll be mine # It's a spell that can't be broken... # I'm really sorry to say that's the end of our week. If you say goodbye to all your new friends... Say goodbye to everyone. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, Captain Simon. Captain Simon, I like that! Bye-bye, everyone! Bye-bye. Bye. Home time! Shall we take this down...? It's all right, we'll go and find it, don't worry. Where's your shoes? Orlagh, come here, I've got your shoes. Simon... I don't want to go home. .