. . . . . (BIRDS SQUAWKING) MOTHER: Take them into the forest now. You stay here. I'll be back soon. -Wait! -No! I said, stay here! YOUNG HANSEL: Father! Wait! (BLOWS) (BOTH SHIVERING) (BIRDS CHIRPING) YOUNG GRETEL: Help us! Please! YOUNG HANSEL: Hello! Is anybody there? (SNIFFS) -(DOOR OPENS) -(GASPS) (CHILDREN GASP) (BREATH RATTLING) (SHRIEKING) (BOTH WHIMPERING) (GRUNTS) Eat! -(GRUNTING) -Eat! Eat! Eat! This oven's not hot enough! More wood! (GASPS) (YOUNG HANSEL STRAINING) What? -(GRUNTING) -(GROANING) (SCREAMING) (CONTINUES SCREAMING) Is it hot enough for you now? HANSEL: My sister and I never saw our parents again. It was just the two of us. But we learned a couple of things while trapped in that house. One: Never walk into a house made of candy. And two: If you're gonna kill a witch, set her ass on fire. (PEOPLE SHOUTING) (PEOPLE CLAMOURING) (CHILD SCREAMING) (WITCHES SCREAMING) (OWL HOOTING) (WITCH GROANS) (SCREAMS) www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2015 . . . . . MAN: Fresh milk! Fresh milk for the children! Keep your children healthy! Fresh milk! BERRINGER: After weeks of living in fear, we have finally caught the one responsible for all this terror! For crimes against the city and people of Augsburg, and for consorting with the spawn of Satan, (CROWD GASPING) I hereby accuse this woman of the craft of witchery! CROWD: Burn her! Burn her! Behold the eyes of the demon. (CROWD GASPING) Go to hell. (MUFFLED GRUNTING) (MUFFLED SCREAM) Order! -(GASPS) -Order! Berringer, this is still my town. Listen to me. As your mayor, I know only too well that many of you have lost precious loved ones to this witch plague, but we can't just burn this woman. We first need evidence. We can't just have... You know a witch when you see one! They ride at night and make pacts with the devil! This woman will burn! CROWD: Burn her! Burn her! Let the girl go or I'm gonna blow your sheriff's brains all over these fucking hillbillies. Move. Go on. Check her. What's your name? What's your name? -Mina. -Don't worry. When a woman truly deals in witchcraft, she cannot hide it. A nasty rot sets in. It shows in her teeth, her skin and her eyes. This is not a witch. This woman's clean. I'm sure your sheriff was only trying to protect you good people. But your mayor has done a very smart thing. He hired us. My name is Gretel, and this is my brother, Hansel. HANSEL: We know that many of your children have gone missing. But killing an innocent woman will not bring them back. MAN: Go home! We don't want you here! We don't want more evil in Augsburg! Well, evil is upon you, whether you like it or not. Now if your children are still alive, we will find them. But if anyone harms this woman, you're gonna have me to deal with. Now go home! Go! (INDISTINCT TALKING) (SIGHS) I guess you're free to go. Thank you, Hansel. You're welcome. What the hell do you think you're doing? Huh? That woman is a suspect in my custody. You can't just... Any man with half a brain could see that she was not a witch. MAYOR: Now listen, Sheriff. Hansel and Gretel have been brought here... You better listen! I'm not going to have this bitch and her scoundrel of a brother coming into my town, telling me what to do. (BOTH GRUNT) Don't! Just don't. (BERRINGER GROANING) (SPUTTERS) Come on. Let's get you started. MAYOR: There's been reports of a strange cottage in the north forest. Locals won't go near the place. A good place to start the investigation. (GRUNTS) (GROWLS SOFTLY) Move! (GROANS) (GRUNTS AND PANTS) (GRUNTING) (BREATHING RAGGEDLY) (GRUNTING) (GROWLING) Gretel! (SHRIEKS) (WITCH SNARLING) She looks angry. HANSEL: Yeah. A face like that, I'd be angry, too. (WITCH GRUNTING) -Would you shut up? -(THUDS) HANSEL: That witch we found was a dead end, Mayor. No trace of any kids. I'm sorry. GRETEL: But we found this. That is called the Blood Moon, Mayor. Eclipse of the moon. It happens once in a generation and is a night most holy to witches. MAYOR: Oh, my God. When? According to this, three nights from now. There's no doubt in my mind that all this is connected. Children being taken in these numbers from roads and fields so close to town. A witch does not come out in the open like that. Not unless she has to. Witch activity has been increasing lately. More sightings, animal slaughter, Sabbaths. It seems the coming of the Blood Moon is dragging every damned witch from their dark hiding place. HANSEL: (GROANS) So, it seems like a good thing that you brought us here, doesn't it, Mayor? Half your money now. The rest when the children are brought back alive. (KNOCK ON DOOR) Oh, there he is, right on time. This is Jackson. He knows these woods inside and out. And he'll take you to where the last sightings were. We can be there in a few hours. Not at night. It's too dangerous. We'll leave in the morning. HANSEL: She's right. It's much too dangerous. So, any place we can get a drink in this hellhole? (DOG BARKING) Shut up! BERRINGER: The last one they took was a boy. Less than two days ago, so the scent is still fresh. A hundred shillings for every child you return alive. You better be fast before our Mayor's witch hunters rob this town blind. You leave tonight. (CLEARS THROAT) In witch country at night? You must be out of your mind. (BARKING) (LAUGHS) (BIRDS TWITTERING) (WOLF HOWLING) I'm telling you, we should put the fire out. JONATHAN: We're hunting witches, not bears. And we have to eat. (DOG WHINES) (ALL GASP) Such beautiful creatures. Are they yours? Yes, ma'am. Why have you come here? To the dark of the forest? A child was taken, ma'am. We're here to find him and take him back. There are no children here. Here... ...there's only death! (GASPING) Witch! Fools! This is my land! (GROANING) How dare you? Please? Hmm... Please, God... No. There's no use in praying, my friend. Even your God knows better than to come here. (CACKLING) JACKSON: There have been abductions here and here, on both sides of the river. And on this last one, we believe a troll was involved. -A troll? -Trolls are extra. Another round. That's really unusual. Look at this one. A father and three children attacked. One child was taken, but she didn't touch the other two. -Uh-oh. -That's weird. That's so weird. It is strange. It is strange, okay! Then again, we hunt witches for a living. What's normal, really? BEN: Uh, excuse me. Hansel and Gretel? Oh, my God, I can't believe you're here. I'm Ben. Benjamin Walser. I am really quite a fan of your work. That's great. It's nice to meet you, Benjamin. Listen, if it's not too much trouble, -would you please sign... -Oh, no... Okay. Oh, my. Yeah, that's from when you found the Fox Witch of Antwerp and sank her in the moat. And this one's from the Secret Witch Ring of Belsen. When they tried to put a gate to hell under the courthouse. I mean, you guys, you certainly taught those witches a thing or two. GRETEL: Wow. This is amazing. And, uh, (CHUCKLES) weird. -A little creepy. -BEN: Yeah... You really keep all this stuff. All right, well... I just have so many questions. Do you mind? You know, we have... -Oh, no, no. You go ahead. -BEN: All right, um... Okay. Um, how do you best kill a witch? Hansel? Uh, cutting off their heads tends to work. Ripping out their hearts. And skinning them is also nice. Yeah, but burning is the best way. 'Cause that's the only way to be safe. -Burning, of course. -Burn them all. Oh, is it true that witches can't harm you? Well, no, that is horseshit, son. Their magic doesn't work on us. And they haven't killed us, yet. Oh, do you think that's because of the witch you burned when you were children? I guess that's how it all started for you guys. I mean, is that how you became witch hunters? How do you get your guns and weapons? We have lots of things to do. You're a really nice kid, but we have a town under attack. (GASPING) She killed them! She killed them all. Who killed what? The witch! She killed the trackers. All of them. She gave me a message. For you all. (GAGGING) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) The Curse of Hunger for Crawling Things. I fucking hate that one. That was awesome. (TROLL GRUNTING SOFTLY) (BOTH EXCLAIM FEARFULLY) (BREATHING DEEPLY) It's working. (YELLS) (CACKLES SOFTLY) It's not even warm. Muriel, this could change everything. It will change everything. We will be invincible. Ow, ow! Take it out. Take it out! Take it out! It's of no use if it doesn't last. I can make it last. Forever. -(OWL HOOTING) -(INSECTS CHIRPING) (INDISTINCT WHISPERING) (GRUNTS) Where are we going? FATHER: We're almost there. GRETEL: Hey. Hey. I just had this really weird dream. -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. About what? I think it was about our mother. We don't talk about that. Go to sleep. (GROANS) (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) What do you think? Boy, girl? Okay. There you go. I'll take this. A little small for you, maybe. Oh, hello. Um, no, this, this is... This is not for me. Um, so, how goes the witch hunting? It's good. The witch hunting's good. MINA: It's strange being among these people. HANSEL: Yeah? If you hadn't come, they'd have burned me alive. Yeah, well, I probably would have let them, but I'm old-fashioned that way. My sister, however, requires a little bit more evidence before someone gets roasted. Have you ever come across a witch that you didn't want to kill? No, never. The only good witch is a dead witch. Can you hold this? (GROANING) Are you all right? Yeah. When I was a kid, a witch made me eat so much candy, I got sick. Something happened to me. I have to take this injection every few hours or else I die. You have the sugar sickness. I actually know a thing or two about it if you ever need any help... It's all right. I'm fine. It was good seeing you. You're very handsome. And no man in this town will walk with me. And you have my pumpkin. I... I have to go. -See you. -Mmm-hmm. (GROWLS SOFTLY) You'll be perfect. BOY: Daddy! Daddy, please help me! I'm lost! Daddy, please! Please help me! I'm lost! Daddy, I'm scared! I'm alone in the woods! WITCH: I can help you, little boy. Sweet little boy. -BOY: Please help me! -(GASPS) Daddy! I'm scared! I'm alone in the woods! Please help... (BOTH GRUNTING) You move, you die. Get her wand. (JACKSON YELLS) (WITCH CACKLING) (GROANS) (CACKLES) (GRUNTING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) JACKSON: Ooh. I like your toys. BERRINGER: They have brought a live witch into my office! They need to interrogate her. That's all there is to it. Now, good night, (SNIFFS) Sheriff. GRETEL: You tell us what we want and this might not end up being the most painful night of your life. -The children. -Where are they? -They still alive? -(SNICKERING) (SIGHS) These witches, they never learn. Let's try this again. Where are the children? Why so many? Where are the children? The blood of the twelve moons will soon be collected. (LAUGHS) And after that, only one object remains. Let's just burn her. We're wasting our time. She's useless. How many children have been taken so far? I don't know, ten or eleven. The files. We need to count them. -It's eleven. -Eleven. Twelve moons. They need one more child. One more child. HANSEL: Look, there's gotta be some sort of pattern. Look for their age, hair colour, genders, something. -I've got five girls. -Six boys. You need another girl? "Twelve moons," what does that mean? It's a month. It's a month. There's no April. April is missing. It's April. They need a girl born in April. You are too late. -Go! -Yes! (CACKLING) Sheriff, birth records of Augsburg. Do you have them here? It is there. Strictly for the law of this town, not for filthy bounty hunters like yourself. Come on. There can't be that many. -Anything? -HANSEL: I only got one! Little girl, six years old, born April 8th. She's the only one that I could find. You go. This girl, do you know her? Yes, I know her. Mary Behlmer. Where does she live? Sheriff, she's in danger! (PEOPLE SCREAMING) WOMAN: Fire! Fire! Time is up. Tell me where she lives. MAN: Over here! (PEOPLE SHOUTING) -(GIRL SCREAMS) -(WOMAN GASPS) -GIRL: Mom! -Shh! (PEOPLE CLAMOURING) Stop! Stop right there! No, Lucas! Lucas. No! (SCREAMING) (CACKLING) Damn you! (GRUNTS) Take her back! (WOMAN SCREAMS) (PEOPLE SHOUTING) MAN: To the well! WOMAN: Over here! MAN: We need more help! Hurry! (GROWLING) Now whatever happens, I want you to stay cool. -Follow my lead. Okay? -Got it. Are you a good shot? No. Not really. That's why I use a shotgun. Gretel, the famous witch hunter. Finally we meet. Who are you? I see you got my invitation. Say your name before my arrows rip out your throat. I go by many names, none of which you're worthy of pronouncing. (GROWLS) Oh, my God. (GRUNTING) MARY: Help! Help! Please! -Hey! -(GRUNTING) (SNARLS) MARY: Help! (BOTH GRUNTING) Shit. (GROANING) MURIEL: Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. Not now. And not like this. You have something I need. The last ingredient. (GRUNTS) Ugh! Humans have such ghastly taste. I think this place... (WHIMPERING) ...could use a bit of colour. (GUNSHOT) (PEOPLE YELLING) (GRUNTS) Shit! Ah! -Good morning. -What are you doing? (STAMMERING) You were covered in filth, so I was just cleaning. (GROANING) What happened? Um... Well, the witches took a young girl, and a lot of people died in the fires. And now the Sheriff, he's blaming you and your brother for what happened last night. Augsburg's not really safe for you anymore. And my brother? Last time I saw him, he was fighting one of them on a broom, flying out of town. Right. Wow. Where do you get all this stuff? Um... From everywhere. I actually plan to be a witch hunter, too, when I get older. Like you guys. This isn't the life we chose, Ben. I was wondering about that story about your parents leaving you. Is all that true? Yep. Why? I don't know. That's what they did. (SIGHS) Um, I'm sorry. Do you want some porridge? Sure. Not too hot, not too cold, but just right. So last night, who was she, the witch who attacked us? I don't know. She looked normal at first, but then she changed her face. I thought only Grand... Grand Witches have that ability, yeah. Who is this? She lived outside of town a long time ago. She was accused of witchcraft, but she never confessed. We just burned her anyway. You're safe. You'll be safe. I have to find my brother. MINA: Hansel! Hey! Hansel! Are you all right? (GROANS) Oh, shit. (GRUNTS) The witch hunting is going well, I see. Yeah. (GRUNTING) Hey, say, can you, uh... Can you tell me which way is back to town? That way. That way. Okay. Thank you! -Thanks. -You're welcome. (GRUNTING) -Do you need some help? -No, I'm fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Okay. I'll see you later. Mother... (SCREAMS) (GROANING) Are you okay? Hi. Help me. (BIRDS CHIRPING) Hansel! Hansel! HANSEL: Are you done yet? I've got to get to my sister. This may take a while. But if we don't clean it, you'll get the fever. The fever? You've really taken a beating, haven't you? I think the real damage was to my dignity, which I left somewhere in that tree back there. (BOTH CHUCKLE) (CLEARS THROAT) It's probably gonna be easier if you just get in. Oh, no, no. No, I can't. The water is healing. Yeah, I don't swim well. Then I'll go in with you. Oh, okay. Oh, boy. So, it's healing waters, did you say? (CHUCKLES) You know, the last time I was in waters like this, I came across a formidable Serpent Witch. She mostly looked like a toad but she could breathe underwater, which made her difficult to track. -She was deadly. -Shh. You talk too much. Hansel! (GRUNTING AND MUNCHING) Hansel! (PANTING) (GRUNTING) Come here. (MAN CHUCKLES) Oh, she's a wild one, eh? (MEN LAUGH) What do you think you're doing? You're under arrest for the burning of Augsburg and for bringing the witch plague to our streets. Listen, you idiot! The witches are planning something big! I need to find my brother and save your shitty... Shut up. This time, I do the talking. You do the bleeding. -(YELLS) -(EXCLAIMS PAINFULLY) Oh! Bitch! BERRINGER: You're making this too easy. -(YELLS) -(GRUNTS) You want some more? Huh? (TROLL GRUNTING) What the hell? (SCREAMS) (GASPS) (TROLL GRUNTING) . . Following this road, you should be able to make it back to Augsburg by nightfall. Yeah. I hope so. When you find your sister, could you come back to see me again? Yes, of course. Drink. No, no. Drink! Why did you save me? Trolls serve witches. -(GRUNTING) -(GASPS) Hey, wait. Wait! What's your name? Edward. Edward, wait! Where am I? (GROANS) (ANIMAL SOUNDS) (GRUNTING) Hansel? Gretel? Where have you been? -Where have you been? -(LAUGHING) (GRUNTS) (COUGHS) Hi. Hey, what happened to your face? Gretel? Who did this to you? Who did this to you? I'm okay. Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -You okay? -Mmm-hmm. I'm okay. Where are we? I don't know. Oh! (GROANS) You okay? Did you have to land on me? What is this place? This isn't a regular witch's lair. No. Let's get the hell out of here. (BOTH GRUNTING) Hey, sis? I think you're gonna want to come see this. (BREATHES DEEPLY) I think this is our old house. And this is our old room. Here. Look. There's your bed. Right? Ah! (CHUCKLES) Remember this? I think that's you. And some sort of vicious badger. (SIGHS) Old beds. (CHUCKLES) Hansel. You ever wonder what happened to our parents? We don't talk about that, Gretel. We made a promise, you know that. Why do you think the witches' spells don't work on us? Leave it alone. -This is our house. -Yeah? This is where we grew up! And what does that look like to you? I don't know, Gretel. We grew up over a witch's lair. So what? So we're cursed? No. I think that our mother was... I see you finally found your way home after all these years. Mmm. How very sweet. (GROWLS) I remember this house. The house of Adrianna, the great white witch. Your whore of a mother. Let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, near a shitty little town, there was a farmer who fell in love with a white witch. And with their two beautiful children, oh, they were so happy. But not for long. During a Blood Moon, there is a potion that will make you immune to fire. The key to the potion is the heart of a grand white witch. But your mother, the most powerful white witch, was too strong for us. So it had to be you, Gretel. It had to be your heart. As the Blood Moon approached, I sent out a little rumour to the people of Augsburg. And when she knew they were coming, she had your father take you into the forest to hide you. -YOUNG HANSEL: Father! Wait! -(SIGHS) -(DOOR BREAKS OPEN) -(CROWD CLAMOURING) She didn't know what they would do to her, but she was too proud to run. And a white witch would never use her magic against humans. (MOTHER SHRIEKING) When your father came back for her... No! ...they hanged him. -MAN: Run him up! -No! (CHOKING) ...right in front of your mother's burning flesh! (CROWD CLAMOURING) Adrianna was gone. But so was your heart. And the Blood Moon passed. The End. It's a beautiful story, don't you think? They died to save you. And all your life, how you've hated them. Tomorrow sisters from all dark corners of the land will join me in the light of the Blood Moon for the greatest Sabbath of all. The only thing left is the everlasting power of the heart of a grand white witch. You know, you talk too much. (GRUNTING) (GROWLING) Bad move, witch hunter. (HANSEL MOANS) -(GRUNTS) -(GROWLS) Hansel! WHISPERS: Magic. Magic. Be amazed at what you can get with BK's new Change Range. And now, for a limited time, 10 nuggets for just $3. Drink it. It will help the pain. Mina? What did you do? Mina? You're a witch? There are good witches in the world. -Not many, but some. -Stay back. I'm a witch, but I won't hurt you. I checked you. You were... You were clean. Yeah, but only the dark witches bear the signs. Dark witches? What are you talking about? Think about it, if their spells don't work on you, why would mine? I'm not like them, Hansel. Gretel. Shit. -Where are you going? -They have my sister. Who has your sister? The witches have my sister. They... -Where? -She said something about a ritual or a gathering. I don't know. There's a place deep in the forest, nearby the mountains. A place dark witches use for their Sabbath. Where is it? -Hansel, I... -Mina, how do I get there? If there is a Sabbath, there will be many witches. They'll be too powerful. They'll kill you, Hansel. I don't have time for this. No, listen, Hansel, I found something here, in this cave. Something very powerful. Something that could help us. The Abramelin Grimoire! It exists! This is the book of protection against black magic. I can't believe this. Where did you find it? Don't ask, kid. If this thing does what it says, it will allow us to penetrate their protection. Oh, yeah? Their wands won't protect them anymore. We just need something to bless. Okay, let's start with this. (MUTTERING INCANTATIONS) I hope this works. You ever shoot a gun? Well, I did win the county fair three times. All right. In that case... Don't touch the gun. (CHILDREN SOBBING) (GROANS) -(EDWARD GRUNTS) -(GASPS) Edward. What are you doing here? What's going on? Muriel. Edward, I need your help. Please, Edward. Hey! You filthy ogre! Get the children. We're moving out. It's time. (GRUNTS) Are we good? Yes. Well, as far as you go, kid. But, I will leave you with this. -Wow! -Find a place to hide. Shoot anything that moves. Good luck. (WIND HOWLING) (WITCHES SCREECHING) (LAUGHS) (GRUNTING) Shut up! Oh! (WITCH CACKLING) After tonight, no sister will be burned on their pyres! -(GRUNTS) -(GASPS) No sister will be ashes on the ground! I want your brains! And now, now we feast! -(WITCHES CHEERING) -That's a lot of witches. Okay. I'm gonna go down around the other side. Push them into the middle, get them away from the kids. When you see my signal, you unleash hell. Wish me luck. MURIEL: Yes. The hour has come! The Blood Moon arrives! The grand white witch -dies! -(ALL CHEER) -(GUNSHOT) -(GRUNTS) (GASPS) Listen to me carefully! If you let my sister and the children go now, I'll consider not killing each and every one of you. -Finish him. -Yes. Please work. (ALL GASPING) (WITCHES WHIMPERING) (WITCHES SCREAMING) (WITCHES SCREECHING) (GRUNTING) We have to hurry. You get the children. I'll get her heart! Now, move! (GRUNTS) Walk! Move it! (GROWLING) Come on! -Gretel! -(YELLS) Ohh! Edward. HANSEL: Gretel! I'm okay! Go get the children! (SCREAMING) Stay still! Get off of me! -(GUNSHOT) -(CHILDREN WHIMPER) No! (YELLING) (GRUNTING) GIRL: Thank you! (SNARLING) (GASPS) (BOTH GRUNTING) -Sun! -Too late. Gretel! (SCREECHES) HANSEL: Where are you going? I have to help Edward! Edward. Who the fuck's Edward? (SCREAMS) (GASPS) (MURIEL GRUNTS) (LAUGHS) -Hell, yeah! -HANSEL: Ben! Hansel! Hansel! I did it! I shot her! Muriel. -Where? -I shot her down, over there. Good job. She's close. Edward? -(DEVICE POWERS UP) -(GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) Oh, you can't be serious. Is this... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Whatever you do, don't eat the fucking candy. (SCREAMING) Uh-uh-uh-uh. Stop right there, or the little boy dies. I thought it would be fitting for us to end up here, where it all began. Kind of lost its charm a little, huh? Drop it. Good boy. Don't worry, kid. I'm not gonna let her hurt you. Oh, really? Really. (GRUNTS) The end is near, witch hunter. I wish I could say it would be painless, but that would be a lie. (GRUNTS) Get away from him. Always funny seeing a white witch with a wand. What are you going to do? Hit me with your love spell? Not bad. (GRUNTING) Sacrificing yourself to save a human. Pathetic. No! (COUGHS) Mina. Hansel. I tried to stop her. You did. You did good. You did good. (GRUNTING) You got to be fucking kidding me. (YELLING) (CHOKING) MURIEL: Oh, please. Please? Please, stop. Please. Yeah, nice try. (SCREAMING) (CHOKING) (ALL GRUNTING) (YELLS) (GAGGING) Finish her already. (YELLS) (GAGS) HANSEL: Revenge doesn't change the past. It won't bring our parents back. -You all right? -Yeah. -Glad to hear it. -Ow! HANSEL: But it sure as hell feels good. My sister and I know the truth. We know who we are now. But so do they. They know our story, our powers, what we can do. And they should fear us. All of us. We should be getting close now. After this next one, we've got three more to go. Three? You said three more three witches ago. Come on, you always say, more witches, more money, right? Yeah, but you ain't getting any of it. Unless you want to pull the cart. Right, big guy? I told you he'd come in handy. HANSEL: There are good witches in the world. We know that now. But for the ones practicing the black arts, beware. We're coming for you. And no matter where you are, we'll find you. And dead or alive, we'll take you down. Edward, you want to knock? HANSEL: My vote: -Dead. -(YELLS) (SNARLS) I hate to break it to you, but it's not gonna be an open casket.