1 Do you remember what it was like to be five years old? Kyai, kyai, kyai, kyai. Hello! I can't get out! Oh, my God, that boy. This is where futures are formed. Are you going to be in love with me? Yeah. THEY LAUGH This year, new children... ..new challenges... I want to do this all day. ..in a brand-new school where every corner has been rigged with cameras... They're watching us! ..and wired for sound. THEY SCREAM BOTH: No! Look at that! You look ridiculous. Now we're all girls. This is epic! With unprecedented access to every tussle... You're not the boss of here. There he goes. ..every whisper... ..and all the raw emotion. Don't cry. I've never seen so much tears. We eavesdrop on their secret lives. I'm sorry. I just needed some time alone. This week, it's the five-year olds... Ooh! Lewis... Don't drop the baby! THEY LAUGH Go and have a lovely time. Go on, then. Go on, then. Hi, Jude. Hey, Jude. How are you? It's Monday morning, and the children are starting to arrive. Cos you're first, Jude, you get to choose whichever chair you would like to sit on. I'm going to sit in the middle, here. There you go. One, two, three. Looking after them are teachers Kate and Simon. Is your name Simon Cowell? No, just Simon. 'How grown-up are you at five?' Very grown-up, my mum says. Hi, Ellie. Hi, Ellie. Hi. Hello, Ellie. Hello. Ellie's gone and sat down right next to Jude. We've got our first love-in. Watching on are scientists Dr Elizabeth Kilbey and Dr Sam Wass. Shall I show you show you how to do the splits? Look. I can do the splits. Does that really hurt? 'What does it mean to be a grown-up?' Washing-up, cooking dinner. Playing with people. Watch TV. Hello. Hello. Hi, Ellie Mae, isn't it? Sweet, sweet, sweet. 'What age do you become a grown-up?' SHE GIGGLES When you are, like, big, big, big, big, big, big, big. We're here! It's very exciting, isn't it? Shall we go in? It's going to be so interesting to see how the kids react. Push the door. Daisy has cerebral palsy, but she's attended a mainstream school for a year, just like the other children. 'What do you want to do when you grow up?' OK? I'll see you, Daisy. Hello. So tell everyone your name. Daisy. Hi, Phoenix. Hey, Phoenix. What's your name? My name is Phoenix and I'm special because I'm a boy with long hair. What?! Daisy, what's something that's interesting about you? Really? That'll be a bit exciting. Wow! Jude, what's something that's interesting about you? I love the word interesting and interest and investigate. And I like the word dysfunctional and delusional and... a bit...douche and... ..dictionary. I might be the most interesting person here. You might be! Who knows? He definitely knows he's clever, and he's really confident. He puts a lot of effort into learning. Numbers, languages... When he was about two and a half he came up with a shape and said, "Mummy, is this a parallelogram?" And I said, "I don't know, Jude, I'm going to have to google it." And that's been my thing ever since. "I don't know, Jude, I'll google it." Jude lives in South London with his mum, Bonnie, a childminder. He is my buddy, he's my companion, really. We'll go out for dinner together, just me and him. We'll go for walks. Now do I chop this up? No, we need to take the skin off it first. We spend so much time together, I probably, without realising, do treat him like my best friend. Jude can act like a little grown-up. He's always saying, "I can't wait to be an adult." He is like a mini teenager. So I'd say 14, 15-year-old kids would be his ideal gang to hang around with, really. He does have a lovely time with girls. I've had a few mums come up to me in the playground and saying, "My daughter would like to marry Jude." I like walking. So, Jude and Ellie, go to the one down at the end. For the first activity of the morning, the children will be drawing pictures of one another. Jude is working with Ellie. Come here. What colour? I want to be a queen when I'm older. Um, blue. Blue, OK. Five is a fascinating age. Children of this age are becoming interested in the adult world for the first time. They're starting to behave like little adults. And then you're going to be a king. I'm going to marry you, actually. Crazy, man! 'What do you like about Jude?' His hair is so fluffy, and I love fluffy hair. Mmmmm. It's all snuggly like a pillow. Children of this age play at everything, including relationships. For them, it's like trying something on, having a go, seeing how it feels, playing at being grown-up, without any of the responsibility or reality that goes with it. Are you going to be in love with me? Yeah. I'm going to be in love with you. Oh, thanks. HE GASPS Shall we kiss yet? No. Not yet. Not yet. When we only get married and we have a baby. Yeah, that's the only time we're going to kiss. Yeah, I know that for a fact. My mum told me you can't kiss when you're a child. Well, I've kissed... Well, I've kissed my friend when I was a child. 'So, are you in love?' BOTH: Yep. 'What does that mean?' Get married. THEY HUM THE WEDDING MARCH And then you can play with toys! And that's what you have to do. Yeah. Night! I always eat them from my fingers. Oh, no! He's eaten... He's eaten two of us! What are we going to do? Ah! It's snack time. The girls are getting to know Daisy. How old are you? Five. I'm five. I'm five! I'm five and a half. Five and three quarters. They're trying to work out how old Daisy is, and I think that they perceive that Daisy is younger than them. Children, like all of us, make very quick judgements, and somebody's size is quite an important key marker to us guessing how old they are. Daisy, the baby. No, seriously, that is rude. This must be enormously frustrating for Daisy, because people are making assumptions about her all the time that are incorrect. Can somebody get Daisy for me? I'll get Daisy! I will! I will! I will. OK, careful. Just needs one of you, so, Ellie... My girlfriend's got it, hurray! Children this age have spent the vast majority of their lives in the company of a very small number of people. As they go into the big, wide world, they start to encounter this difference. Most children probably won't have had this experience of meeting another child in a wheelchair yet. 'Is there anybody quite different here today?' Yeah. The one with the wheelchair. 'Why do you think Daisy is in a wheelchair?' Because she hurt herself. Because she's little. Cos she's a baby. 'Do you know what disability is?' Well, I did, but now I forgot. It's going to be really, really fun. Outside, Jude and Daisy are taking a spin around the garden. Everybody, here's Daisy. Here we go, here's your parking space. You want to go up there? She wants to go up here. Oh, but you can't, Daisy. You can't walk. You're not old enough to walk. When you're old enough and you learn to walk, you can go on there. 'What's the best thing about school?' Um, playing with all my friends. Daisy lives in Norfolk, with Mum, Lucy, a medical secretary, and Dad, Adam, an electrical technician. Adi and I had IVF, and were lucky enough to fall pregnant with Daisy on the first attempt. Ready? Daisy was born 12 weeks early. We thought that she was OK, but when she was one, she was diagnosed with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. For Daisy, it means that she can't really control her muscles, she can't walk or sit up unaided. Would you like to have your hair washed? Yeah. OK, then I'll just prop you up here. Any normal child would just get up, wouldn't they? And roam around, but we are her legs, in a way, aren't we? And her hands. Although it's affected her movement and her ability to join in physically, her actual cognitive ability is very good. She's in mainstream school, she keeps up with her friends, she chats like any other normal five-year-old... And what's, oh, I can't read that word. K-I-A. Kia. I don't think the other children quite know what's wrong with her sometimes. They sort of, like, look at her sometimes and think, "What's wrong with her?" Ready? Yay! Oh, hello. Right. The actual causes of Daisy's disability are something that none of these children really understand. It's going to be fascinating to see how Daisy can make the other children interact with her as an equal, which is what she wants. 'What makes a good friend?' 1 ALL CHATTER Bye. In Hospital Corner, the doctors and nurses are hard at work. Yeah! A hairdresser. This won't hurt a bit. I wanna be a vet on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and I wanna be the Queen on Saturday and Sunday. Did that hurt? Yes. Oh, good. How about the super duper knocking hammer?! Dzzzh! Work in McDonald's. And what job are you going to do in McDonald's? Well, there's only one thing, and that's making the food. Mm-hm. Dr Ellie Mae has some bad news for her patient Ellie. You might die. You might die, I said. Oh. You might. Yeah? Well, I know you'll go to heaven, not hell. Hell's when you've been bad. When you've been good, you go to heaven, and heaven is a good place. I am a little child, did you know? I'm always really interested to understand what's underpinning children's play, because does that give us a clue, an insight, into some of their thoughts and feelings? Well, I'm called the sleep doctor, and I help people sleep during surgery. I hold the air mask on. What do you want your special air to smell like? Spotty eggs. We have bubble gum, banana or strawberry. Bubble gum. Ellie Mae lives in Manchester with mum Maria, an account manager, and dad Christopher, who works in customer services. Two years ago, the family found out that Maria has a brain tumour. I had what presented as they thought was a mini stroke, and they organised a CT scan and they found something. A mass. A lump. What's that? A spider. Daddy doesn't like spiders! To me, it was the end of my world. I started having, like, massive, massive anxiety attacks. I was sobbing, couldn't cope at work. I hid money, because I was convinced I was paying for a funeral. Fortunately, the tumour is slow-growing, and not life-threatening. It did affect her, it did upset her. I couldn't do things with her. She's mature in dealing with it. Ellie Mae is very grown up for her age. She doesn't like people being left out or being sad, cos she doesn't like feeling like that. Yeah. The other day, she turned round and said, "Everyone's special in their own way." Yeah. Completely at random - and we were so taken aback, I was like, "Wow!" Here comes...Miss Daisy! In the garden, Ellie Mae is taking responsibility for Daisy. Why do you like looking after people? Because it's a good thing for one another to do. What do you want to do? Ooh...! Jude? Daisy wants to play mums and dads. I think Daisy was trying to start off a pretend play session. And Ellie Mae didn't pick up on it. That's just your belt, I think. No! You OK? Of all the children, it's amazing to see how Ellie Mae in particular tends to gravitate towards these nurturing roles. She's playing the role of the mother, not of the friend - but it's a friend that Daisy needs. 1 Later in the afternoon, some of the five-year-olds are given an unusual task. Oh, look how cute that is! They will spend the next hour being parents to baby. Do you think it's fun to be a grown-up? No. Uh-uh. I really want a baby, though. Ellie Mae has been paired with Lewis... I know it's a boy. It's all right, baby. ..and across the garden are Jude and Ellie. Mama's with you. We see these five-year-olds striving all the time to be independent, to be more adult-like - they're desperate to grow up. So, let's give them a task that can illuminate how they would actually manage given some adult responsibility. "Baba!" He just said "baba" for mummy. Did it actually? Yeah. "Baba! Mama!" That was you. Yeah, that was! What we've got here might look like dolls that the children would be familiar with, but they're not. They do all of the things that babies do - they cry, they need feeding and changing and soothing, and you've got to work out what this infant needs with very little clues from them - just like having a newborn. And the dad - no, you've got to be the dad. You've got to be the dad! I don't wanna. You've got to be the dad. No. Do you think he might not be ready for fatherhood? Gonna crash it in his head. Don't! Why? Cos he's a baby. DOLL CRIES Oh, no. I don't know what to do. It's crying! I hate crying. I'm gonna be a doggy. No, you have to be a daddy! I don't. You have to! I don't. Kate! He's not a dad, he's a dog. His baby's naked! No, Lewis! You're making me so upset. Be careful, Lewis! Don't drop the baby! Lewis! Look what you did now! Ellie Mae and Lewis, I think your baby might need some clothes on. I know, we're trying to dress him - Lewis is...in the way of the pram, though! Lewis! On the other side of the garden, Ellie has also been left holding the baby. DOLL CRIES Oh, God! Jude! Jude! Lewis! Lewis, it needs its daddy. But I'm a doggy! When we set the children a task, that takes their play out of the classic child arena and starts to mirror something that is much more like the adult world, it is fascinating to see the stereotypes they show us. I need help! I'm coming with the baby! DOLL CRIES I need to sort this out. Don't! He's kicking the baby! Stop it, Jude. Jude, stop it! What was Jude like, looking after the baby? He was horrid. Cos he kicked the baby. You kicked the baby, didn't you? And it cried! I can't believe he kicked your baby. ELLIE MAE: I know. That's really rude! Three, two, one, baby! Jude! You're being naughty! That's not funny, Jude. Behave. Lewis! Behave. You can't tell me - you're not the boss in here. Yeah, I know... You're not! Just... Well... There he goes. Go... Go and tell him off, Lewis. Hold the baby's arm. Hold the baby's arm. I don't want to. SHE SIGHS Whee! Ooh, that hurts. Relieved of their parental responsibilities, the children are free to play together. Put your arms out! If you put your arms out, it's easy to balance. I can't do it, I can't do it. I can do it! Jude, come here. Jude! Come here. Jude! Jude! Jude! Jude! Eden, just come here a sec! No... Eden! Eden! Eden! Eden! Ugh. Ellie! Ellie! Yeah? Daisy is really finding that she's having to work hard to establish and maintain friendships. Let's go into the Wendy house. She just wants to play with the other children, and Ellie Mae is the child that she's made the most progress with. What size are these? Six. They don't fit me. We'll try you. Can we just try you? Uh-oh... Somebody's hunting for me. They're hunting for me. I'll be back in a minute, Daisy, OK? Don't worry. I need somebody to keep Daisy company while I'm gone! Ellie! While I'm gone, can you keep daisy company? No. OK. I feel bad for her. I decided to be kind because she was in a wheelchair, so I think it's a bit hard for her. I wanna get down! She wants to get down. As Daisy is unable to move around on her own, she always has a one-to-one helper close by. For a disabled child like Daisy, being five is a particularly difficult age. Most five-year-olds tend to transition very rapidly and unpredictably from one type of play to the next, but Daisy can't do that. Everything needs to preplanned and prearranged. That makes it really, really tough for her. I want her to smile. DAISY SOBS Oh, no. I think she's really struggling. Why do you think Daisy's crying? Be... I don't know. Cos she wants her mummy all the time. I don't want a sad face like this - or Daisy's. I don't want that. I want a smiley face like this... 1 I don't like this, Daisy. Did everyone hear? Lunchtime! Lunchtime! It's the middle of the week. Who likes beer? Put your hand up if you like drinking wee. Girlfriend, girlfriend! Yeah, I'm coming, my boyfriend. Jude is making a very public demonstration of his relationship with Ellie and he's doing that for the benefit of the group, he wants to differentiate himself from the other children. He wants to indicate that he's top dog. Quick, hold my hand! Not too fast, though, Judie. Oh God! Do you want to go on the ramp? OK. Do you want to go on there? Yeah. Daisy wants to go on the ramp. After lunch, while some of the children are playing... ..the others are gearing up for a competition. Is this a challenge? Yeah, we're gonna tell you what's happening in a minute. Yes! I love challenges. In pairs, they must navigate an obstacle course of tyres and netting. Then they must eat a banana and drink some juice. But one of each pair will be blindfolded. I'm gonna win! No, I am. Oh, there's a little bit of healthy "rrr" going on. On this team, over on this side... Myla-Rae and Ellie May. Jude and Lewis. What?! Yep, you heard it. I want me and my girlfriend! Jude. She wants to be with me. Jude, you are gonna wear the blindfold and Lewis is gonna help you down the course. I want to win! My girl, win the race! Jude, get back. Otherwise, your team will forfeit. This obstacle race is not a measure of physical strength or speed. It is much more adult skills than that, it requires communication, cooperation - it's a real challenge for five-year-olds. Are you ready? Go. Forward, stop... Go forward, go forward. Forward, forward. Forward. A little bit left. Yes! Ellie and Jet, go! Straight, straight. Boys, Lewis, it's not time to go yet, quick, go back. Oh, oh, Jude's been sent back. Because he set off too early. Boys, go! A big step. Another. Stop! Oh, Phoenix is already baiting him, "We're gonna win." Under. > Yes, yes, yes! CHEERING Well done, Ellie! Look, they've won. CHEERING HE SOBS Jude is showing us just how agonising it can be when you lose... when winning is so important to you. The winning team will get... ..some bags of chocolate. CHEERING Come and get your prizes for your team. No, no, no, no, no! NO! NO! Sit down, let me do it. Yes, yes, I won. We won! No. Yeah! I'm running away from you. JUDE SOBS It's so much worse for the fact he was having this big public face-off with Phoenix before - saying, "We're gonna win, we're gonna win!" It's losing face that is so difficult. HE WAILS Can't help notice that he is also looking around to see who is watching him cry. HE WAILS And the longer it goes on, the more that Jude has to demonstrate in order to try and get someone to notice. HE SOBS You're quite fast, aren't you? Yeah. Can you go and get Phoenix's chocolate for us? OK, let me go and get Phoenix. Phoenix! Yeah, but your chocolate, yes? Can you share chocolate with... ..him who's crying? No. That's not very nice, Phoenix. That's because I won this chocolate. Do you not realise why I'm crying? Do you not realise? I want a chocolate! I'm not giving you it. I feel a bit angry. With who? Phoenix. HE SOBS Why? Because he never shared the chocolate. It's not fair, is it? Why is it not fair? Because if you don't share, you get told off. Everybody! Ellie, Ellie May come here. Jude has come up with a plan to get the chocolate. You say, "Phoenix, there's an elephant behind you." And then you snatch it. Go! OK. Jude is setting up a scenario where Phoenix gets distracted and somebody steels the chocolate. I have to say, I've tried that trick in the past and it's worked. Sam! Maybe I'm a bad person! Phoenix, there's an elephant behind you. Snatch it, snatch it. No. Yes. Phoenix! Say sorry! Now! Whilst, as adults, it might be really tough for us to watch this group of children working out their own conflict, what we have to understand is that at age five, this is how they manage their social arena. Phoenix! No, you're not... Phoenix! Ow! It might look like rough justice to us but this is them sorting out their hierarchy and managing their social relationships and developmentally this is such an important skill for them. HE WAILS Why was Jude upset? He was crying cos he lost and so he didn't get the chocolate that I got some of. What's more important, winning or having friends? Having friends. And why is that? Because if you don't have any friends then you wouldn't have anybody to play with. Jude, the next time I win a game, I will give the prize to you. The whole prize? Yeah. Thank you. Try and do your best, so you can win the bags - to give them to me. What do you think about Jude? He's really nice but I just don't wanna marry him. That's why... Cos sometimes he cries a lot, sometimes. What are you doing? Look through these, am I far? Oh, my God, you're blurry. OK, try the other side. You're tiny! I'm far? No, you're tiny. Some of the five-year-olds are about to begin rehearsals. Come just about...there. Brilliant. They have to invent a story which they'll then perform to the rest of the group. We've put Daisy with Jet and Lewis and asked them, as a group, to come up with a story using three random items to really test their imaginative and creative abilities. The children have been given some plastic piping, a baton and a dustpan. You just need to have this, OK? Cos I've got this, OK? I'm gonna make all the spells in the world. Turn that to a telephone and this is my telephone. OK, let's go. Bye. Bye. Water. LAUGHTER All of us find it hard, sometimes, to get a word in edgeways but Daisy, in particular. It's interesting how children can be so imaginative in one way but yet find it so hard to imagine what the world feels like from Daisy's point of view. I... I need... How is our story going?? Daisy's not even playing, she's just... She's just staying in her wheelchair. Yeah, but Daisy's here in her wheelchair, you need to come over and do the story with her. At this stage, what is needed is adult intervention because we require someone to help Jet and Lewis understand what's happening for Daisy. What happens in the story, then? Well... What can Daisy do? In the story there is a forest and I have to make vines disappear. But they are growing again. Could it grown around Daisy? Yeah. You work it out with Jet and Daisy. Pretend, then... There's a bear! Why did you drop? Ahh! And the wheelchair stopped and went backwards... SHE LAUGHS Daisy's won a small victory in managing to create a role for herself during the rehearsals but it's gonna be really interesting to see how well she manages to carry that through for the performance. What are you going to perform? And are you looking forward to it? Yes.. Simon, we're ready. Oh, this is long. This is the opportunity for Daisy to be able to show the other children the ways in which she is the same as them, when up until this point, the children have been looking at the ways in which she is different to them. Are we ready yet? Action! Once upon a time, there was a gang called ReMega Bots. It was in books and a magician accidentally opened one... And then we said, "Oh, no.!" And Daisy dropped her thing. Finally saved the day. Saved! Brilliant! CHEERING Daisy has been a real key player in this because she has kind of been the anchor for the story, she is the damsel in distress who gets rescued. How was your performance? Really good. Well done, Daisy. Good story. I am so proud of myself. Hey! Somebody, stop this! I'm getting dizzy! The week is nearly over. Just turn her that way. I know. I've been doing this a very long time. Don't touch it. Why? Because I'm wheeling it, look. That's not very nice. You don't need to touch it. Please don't touch it. HE LAUGHS I'm your mummy. I'll look after you. 'What is it you like about Daisy?' She looks pretty. Because she's been a kind friend all week. It made me so happy. I would wheel her up a hill and then I'd wheel her down a hill, and it would be fun. 'Understanding disability' and knowing how to act around people who are different to us is one of the most adult-like skills. In fact, it's something that many adults still struggle to master. 'It's all about how well you can listen and communicate, 'and I think the children have done really well this week.' Woohoo! Not everybody in the group is enjoying so much attention. Jude is trying to catch the eye of his girlfriend, Ellie. HE SCREAMS Oh, my gosh! No, Phoenix, you need to go back. You need to go back, Phoenix! Phoenix! Come on! Run! Run! Phoenix is pushing in! Say my name. No! No, Jude! No, Ju-deh! Then whose's that seat? I like broccoli. I'll miss you, girlfriend, when we go home. Will you miss me? No. SHE GASPS Jude. Jude... you're not my boyfriend... ..you in the dinosaur top is my boyfriend. Seriously? Aw. Yes! I'm... I'm Ellie's boyfriend. No, you're not. Ellie broke up with me because she started not... she started to hate me. I don't know why. Why? 'Which boy do you like the best?' Lewis. 'Why?' Cos he's so cute. Can someone push me? OK, I will. No! Can someone push me? Welcome to it, Jude, love is fickle. And fleeting. ELLIE: Pretend you got me. Pretend you got me. ELLIE SCREAMS Ah! ELLIE SQUEALS 'Jude has had a week of real highs and lows.' He's been able to showcase his wide range of skills and his many adult-like qualities, but he has also encountered the lows of some emotional challenges. 'If there's one thing we know about Jude, 'is that he likes to be the dominant child.' If he gets knocked down, he gets right back up again. Aw! You said you were going to be my other girlfriend. I am. Aw! Am I? Do you like me kissing you? Oh, my God. Do you like me kissing you? I think that was enough of them. Just one more, OK? OK. Come on. Let's go. Let's go! 1